/lit/ - Literature

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/poetry/ - Robert Frost edition Anonymous Fri Dec 1 23:26:36 2023 No.22781524 [Reply] [Original]

Post your own poetry. Critique the poetry of others. Discuss your favorites poets.

Anonymous Fri Dec 1 23:39:07 2023 No.22781547

Does the mantis pray or prey?
To answer, watch the creature court.
One shortly sees that fervent faith
and love's embrace are not its sport.

Atop the verdure she awaits,
a female searching for her mate.
This siren sings with somber grace
to lure a fop into his fate.

A male arrives, emerges there,
where leaf and limb give way to bark.
Attracted by her derrière
he climbs upon the wooden arc.

At last his lust can wait no more
as insects quickly intertwine.
The partners form a lush accord
amongst the moss, the branch and vine.

Yet passion dooms both man bug
and dashes mist before their eyes.
The female swiftly slashes up
and sends his head into the skies.

To nurture that which nature bore
the male will soon become a meal.
What may seem cruel by mortal scores
is but a spoke on earth's slow wheel.

Anonymous Sat Dec 2 02:35:42 2023 No.22782085

Which one of these sounds the best? And I don't care if it's shit, I just want a general idea.

1st
The Sage glided, so free.
And so,
Far does the Sage see, his eyes crossed.
Far can the Sage go, his days long.
Mortal prays, and the Sage ignores, knowing.

2nd
Wisdom walked, the Sage so old.
A beard of white,
So mysterious and cold.
Eyes of age, so sharp and kind.
The Sage walked, his wisdom shown.

3rd
Since time immemorial, he wandered the world.
The graceful, the ancient,
Behold the great, the one so old.
And so the mountains bowed, the rivers prayed.
The Sage, greatness behold.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 03:13:47 2023 No.22782188 >>22782085 The 2nd is the best. Any particular reason for the choice to use "so" so much? Is its repetition supposed to emphasize the sage's traits as a whole (so, so, so old etc.)? If not it feels needlessly repetitive.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 03:17:12 2023 No.22782200 >>22782085 They are all horrendous

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 09:28:22 2023 No.22782961 >>22782188 Thanks >>22782200 Rude

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 09:37:52 2023 No.22782972 A thousand words would not suffice Describe your gentle gaze A thousand Heavenly pleasures Would pale in your place A thousand cold and restless nights Would I endure alone To look upon your smile And let you know you’re known.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 09:42:37 2023 No.22782982 >>22781547 Is it yours, OP? That's pretty good. >Attracted by her derrière My favourite line. kek

Anonymous Sat Dec 2 10:30:47 2023 No.22783049

Walking through the corridor,
Here comes the Riddler,
Shrewd and sly
His face an enigma,
Answer my riddle or pay the price
Sound echoes, and you come to a halt
Here comes the question:
I weave through halls with whispers sly,
An enigma veils both truth and lie.
Guess my guise, a puzzle's grace,
In shadows deep, I leave my trace.
What am I?
Peace comes to a halt,
You answer, a silent prayer.
"Wrong", the Riddler dances, head up, eyes down.
There is a corridor, Death's favorite place,
Wanders there the Riddler, an ethereal mystery.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 10:46:08 2023 No.22783081 >>22781524 Don’t tell me what I know of love gone but never born One mistaken for foe Leaves your heart so forlorn.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 15:21:14 2023 No.22783681 >>22782982 I couldn't decide if it fit or not but ended up including it to highlight the male's lust.

Anonymous Sat Dec 2 15:53:08 2023 No.22783766

The verse adorn again
Fierce War, and faithful Love,
And Truth severe, by fairy Fiction drest.
In buskin'd measures move
Pale Grief, and pleasing Pain,
With Horror, tyrant of the throbbing breast.
A voice, as of the cherub-choir,
Gales from blooming Eden bear;
And distant warblings lessen on my ear,
That lost in long futurity expire.
Fond impious man, think'st thou, yon sanguine cloud,
Rais'd by thy breath, has quench'd the orb of day?
To-morrow he repairs the golden flood,
And warms the nations with redoubled ray.
Enough for me: with joy I see
The different doom our Fates assign.
Be thine Despair, and scept'red Care,
To triumph, and to die, are mine."
He spoke, and headlong from the mountain's height
Deep in the roaring tide he plung'd to endless night.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 16:55:17 2023 No.22783938 Anne Carson is doing something to me.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 20:13:18 2023 No.22784550 >>22783938 I saw the thread you posted about her Geryon poem and found it lacking

Anonymous Sat Dec 2 22:26:02 2023 No.22785062

>>22784550
One chapter doesn't do it justice and that one wasn't the best. There's something in the technique and presentation that makes it captivating taken as a whole. You know when someone writes something that is what you want to write and does it better than you ever could but you don't want to copy any part of it? It's like that. It's inspiring but not in any way I can point out directly at this time, I want to analyze it and make use of it more than enjoy it in some passive sense.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 2 22:36:35 2023 No.22785098 File: 45 KB, 646x624, no.87.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 00:41:58 2023 No.22785425 >>22783938 Call the cops

Anonymous Sun Dec 3 01:17:54 2023 No.22785530

>>22782972
The second stanza is alright.
There's problems with the first. You depart from the 8-6 meter with a 5 syllable line and it makes the poem flow poorly. The second line doesn't really work with the first; I know you can't put "to describe" due to the meter but I think a different sentence is necessary.
If I were to write the first stanza:

A thousand words would not suffice
to praise your gentle gaze.
A thousand heavenly pleasure
would pale before your face.

I like the assonance of "heavenly pleasure" though.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 06:00:47 2023 No.22786298 This thread has become quite a dump; a poster would feel like a chump. In order to give it a thump I'll give the poor poets a bump!

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 08:59:49 2023 No.22786721 >>22785098 I like this kind of stuff. Thunder roars Another tree splits Under these oars The new world fits

Anonymous Sun Dec 3 12:09:41 2023 No.22787068
File: 109 KB, 1080x778, Gyra.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Wandering through the night, Gyra the cat,
Weighing two pounds, oh so slight,
Fitting in the hands of man, how admirably small!
Now it roams the night, its tiny legs treading,
the grass thinly laid, head raised in a yawn, cutest of them all.
But, don't gaze too long, at its stature so small,
Fearsome as a lion, in the realm of smallness.
Awaiting its prey, a rodent of lore,
So minuscule and delectable,
Gyra slurps, oh so hungry.
Witness now, as it strikes, swift and precise.
A gulp or two, a tiger in demeanor, swallowed without a trace,
Gyra, so robust, yet so diminutive.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 12:14:32 2023 No.22787077 >>22787068 This sounds so wrong and stiff bros. I need help.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 13:46:17 2023 No.22787259 holding on to wisps of beauty dancing in the pale moonlight tomorrow lies the gaping maw of life itself so let's live our lives tonight

Anonymous Sun Dec 3 15:05:23 2023 No.22787392

>>22787077
I'm going to assume you're the same anon who wrote the poem about "the sage" from last thread.
You need to stop using the word "so" for emphasis. It gets tired very quickly and gives the impression that you don't have a sizable vocabulary. Most importantly it contributes to the stiffness you speak of.
Another contributer to the clunkiness is the usage of too many commas. For instance "Witness now, as it strikes, swift and precise" would be much better without the second comma.
Third comment: The poem seems to be almost entirely adjectives. There's very little sense of anything but static descriptors.

Anonymous Sun Dec 3 15:47:32 2023 No.22787490

>>22787392
Yeah, thanks again. I already made a few adjustments after that, but nothing too big. After seeing your comment I decided to remove all 'so', Suprised how little that mattered though. Also, other than what you suggested, I don't know what commas to remove. How's this?

Gyra, night's wandering feline sprite,
Two pounds, fitting in the hands of man, admirably small.
Roaming with tiny legs treading,
Grass thinly laid, head raised in a yawn, cutest of all.
But, don't linger on, stature small,
Fearsome as a lion, in the realm that enthralls.
Awaits prey, a rodent of lore,
Minuscule and delectable,
Gyra slurps, hunger in each draw.
Witness now as it strikes swift and precise.
A gulp or two, a tiger's poise, swallowed without a trace,
Gyra, robust, yet forever in the embrace of its minute haste.

Anonymous Sun Dec 3 16:13:52 2023 No.22787556

>>22787490
try making it more vague ie:

>>22787490
>night's wandering feline sprite,
>fitting in the hands of man.
>tiny legs treading,
>head raised in a yawn.
>stature small
>realm it enthralls
>a rodent of lore,
>delectable,
>hunger in each draw.
>swift and precise.
>swallowed without a trace,
>embrace of its minute haste.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 16:25:42 2023 No.22787588 >>22787556 kk thanks

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 19:07:08 2023 No.22788177 >>22787490 I think you ought to remove the commas after but, lion, and robust after a cursory reading.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 21:58:20 2023 No.22788827 >>22787259 Final line throws off the rhythm.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 3 22:05:18 2023 No.22788860 >>22788827 To expand on my criticism: The poem is about how the future stretches out and we must live for tonight. It doesn't make sense to end it with a longer line. End it with a short one to emphasize the theme. 8 8 8 6 meter.

Anonymous Sun Dec 3 22:32:31 2023 No.22789001

Teenage marxists. College amphetamine users. Self diagnosed personality disorders and all manner of similar fuck ups. My relationship with my parents is a real painful situation, but what isn't? I've built my whole self image on a foundation of guilt. Undeserving people afflicted by my indulgences. Self destructive impulses.

Pale skin. Sunken eyes. Fugue worlds. Purgatories where I can work out corrosive emotions with a level of detachment. Slow burn pain. Much more manageable.

God and The State and The Private World. Pressure points and erogenous zones.

Shame. Internalizing and projecting suffering. The family unit. The social network.

Dirty.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 00:12:04 2023 No.22789339 >>22789001 Ginsberg was a poetry terrorist.

Anonymous Mon Dec 4 02:39:17 2023 No.22789725

critique welcomed if constructive
I just let it flow, and edit twice, and that's it

-

Days of the Dry

It was a day to forget
More than all the days we've forgotten
In this misbegotten rocket we failed to stop
Where did it land? We do not know
When did the hand that does not sow
Showed us the way? Who was there
In the last of our days?
It sways, molten lead, in winds from hell
Turning dust over the bodies that swell
How we laughed at tomorrows as they escaped
In flags draped, as the Sun inflamed overlayed
Lands that blasted away
Everywhere an ashtray
No lack of charred remains
For the hunger that remains
No stone unturned, beneath them no roots
Only layer over player of soot
Dry are our days brother
So dry we can't even start to cry

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 02:39:17 2023 No.22789724 >>22783081 Would change to: Don't tell me what I know of love gone but never born. One mistaken for a foe leaves your heart forlorn.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 02:56:34 2023 No.22789773 >>22781524 I literally thought this was a photo of a black man for a second.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 06:43:33 2023 No.22790243 >>22789725 >When did the hand that does not sow showed us the way? You edited this, you say?

Anonymous Mon Dec 4 08:41:08 2023 No.22790479

Please rate, I put my heart and soul into this poem.

Withdraw your gaze, Anonymous!
Your face of gore,
Disgusting as a whore.

Belly ripples as you straddle along.
Fat and water, disgusting fuck,
You fucking suck.

Now look on, as I punch your maw,
With a single draw, blood spawns,
Onslaught of my fists, red covers your jaw.

Look up, maggot,
Or I will kick your dick,
You stupid faggot.

Raped by death,
Holes gape,
A wondrous shape.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 13:44:57 2023 No.22791002 >>22788827 >>22788860 I think I could have split the last line into two and it would've been better, I see what you mean.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 14:20:29 2023 No.22791068 >>22790243 Care to elaborate?

Anonymous Mon Dec 4 15:27:38 2023 No.22791210

Athene Minerva brings victory in knowing
Athene Minerva makes skilful our going
A spear for serpent piercing Athene Minerva
No fear of falls or failure Athene Minerva
Athene Minerva keeps graceful control
Athene Minerva sharp eyes for a soul
A dance of perfect form for Athene Minerva
A lance of perfect poise for Athene Minerva
Athene Minerva holds the key to the door
Athene Minerva sees the cosmos’s core

Anonymous Mon Dec 4 20:14:57 2023 No.22792136

>>22789725
I'm going to assume that some of the grammar errors and out of place words (only layer over player) are typos.
I like the themes and the atmosphere of space exploration. I enjoy a poem that employs auditory devices but I think you went overboard on the assonance. The repetition of the same vowel sound ad nauseum means it is no longer pleasurable and becomes grating. Try mixing in some consonance and alliteration for a start and expand from there.

Anonymous Mon Dec 4 21:20:32 2023 No.22792342

>>22792136
Layer over Player was a typo, the rest was intentional.

White I understand the importance of good grammar, sometimes crush sentences together for specific effects. I mean, I could very well run the piece through a grammar checker, but I chose not to. I also like to keep a rough rhyme structure but not let it halt the feeling, trying to find an intersection between rhyme and free verse.

I like to use assonance, I think it gives the poem speed, but I'm willing to agre with you that I've gone overboard and forgot to give a chance to consonances and alliteration, that I also enjoy playing with. I will read it again with your suggestions in mind and improve this.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 22:36:53 2023 No.22792583 There once was a prophet named Mo, Who ruled by the sword and the bow. His book full of error, He resorted to terror, And promised a paradise ho.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 4 22:57:39 2023 No.22792635 File: 110 KB, 659x692, itsover.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Incel Haiku: Women don't like me But I don't care anymore I have given up

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 00:05:44 2023 No.22792849 >>22791068 >Showed

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 00:10:01 2023 No.22792856 >>22792342 The glaring one I saw was >When did the hand that does not sow showed us the way. I don't think there's any artistic merit to disobeying the sequence of tenses like this. It sounds ESL.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 00:22:02 2023 No.22792894 >>22785062 Is the thread still up? What did you post from it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 01:29:49 2023 No.22793057 >>22792856 Do you think "the hand that never sowed" would work better? Also, no problem sounding ESL, poetry is made to be recited and not two people have the same background when learning any language.

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 01:38:26 2023 No.22793088

>>22792856
Also, when I said I like to break some grammar rules, conjugation was not what I was talking about and I'll fix it. The grammar rules I usually break are, for example, creating words, removing commas to create ambiguity or long winded sentences, and other disregards for structure. The inadequate tense use tho is just ugly, I will be paying more attention to it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 01:40:41 2023 No.22793101 File: 112 KB, 841x1280, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22792894 Cheeky teenage blowjob

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 01:47:34 2023 No.22793116

>>22793057
>Also, no problem sounding ESL, poetry is made to be recited and not two people have the same background when learning any language.
Poetry should display competency with the language it's written in, especially when rules are being broken. Fucking around with tenses can quickly make things sound goofy and idiotic, which can have its own merit if you're specifically trying to exploit that phenomenon, but otherwise it should be avoided.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 02:22:03 2023 No.22793243 >>22793057 Changing the the tense of sow isn't the problem. Showed is the verb in question. Remove the middle clause and you're essentially saying "did showed."

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 02:48:31 2023 No.22793333 >>22781524 There once were a gay You are too He wrote and carved into a canoe "I hit the pipe I hope that you might Get sodomized by a bleedy dick too."

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 04:06:35 2023 No.22793496

Before us lies the world,
stripped of Nature's veil.
Once vibrant in its every stroke
of broad and fine detail.
And now, before us: Truth—
our world, a prism's beam;
it's blank—just white—and naked;
It touches eyes; they bleed.

It is not you, nor is it me;
yet we live in its dream.
Beneath our world is static white
disguised as everything.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 04:18:11 2023 No.22793530 >>22793496 whiteness of the whale?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 06:06:23 2023 No.22793755 >>22789001 You aren’t dirty it’s okay

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 06:30:18 2023 No.22793784

Is there a book or something to learn how to recite poetry? Something that will teach me to recite it rather than just read it out loud. But preferably without all the stilted, gay theatricality and emotional diarrhea that comes to mind to most when they think of poetry recital.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 06:47:33 2023 No.22793816 File: 65 KB, 600x1189, you what.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22793784 >Something that will teach me to recite it rather than just read it out loud. uwotm8

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 06:50:15 2023 No.22793824 >>22793784 Why do you want to learn?

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 07:08:11 2023 No.22793855
File: 786 KB, 910x1384, 1695728334053.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Walking down a path that passes
under foot, each stride clashes with
future footprints that wind behind
Don't look back, the trees are ashes
Wicked is the wind that stirs them
Perhaps the same that carries birds and
melodies they sing serenity
A cheerful tune to ease the burden

Walking down a path that's endless
When footsteps stop is where the end is
marked for feet that strove against
the headward flow of time relentless
Don't look back at what's behind
To yearn for what was once alive
Consumed in fire, reduced to ashes
The siren of decaying time

Don't look back and miss the song of
trees and birds who pass along the
blessing of the breeze that moves them
For life is but a moment long

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 07:28:07 2023 No.22793893
File: 1.51 MB, 1440x1920, 1684173755531.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Where does it go
Familiar paths now laden with snow
A path once wandered
now frequently pondered
A time that almost did exist
around the bend and through the mist
And at the peak, that fateful kiss
Had it been you at sunset's bliss
What could have been now can't resist
the time we had and space betwixt

So stand you at the door of mountains
Whose heights unknown amounts are countless
Indeed these steps may lead to fountains
Behind the image lies prevention
From present ascension to higher dimensions

Take the first step into the waters and swim up the staircase of heaven to emerge victorious atop the peak of new horizons
Times and times we set aside to pierce the veil of heavens bride
Through the trees, how steep we climb
The woods are weeping, limbs creaking
The weight of snow within us freezing
And at last light, the path we're seeking
To where it leads we cannot know
Its steps so simply shrouded in snow
Cold but neither friend nor foe
Who's end had then remained unknown
Yet now is just a step away
Two letters between us and a time we knew but flew away
Atop those mountain tops of gray
In search of peaks beyond the horizon
With breath of life where hope abides in
A peek beyond the curtain to a peak where new time was found in
Awaiting aloft atop these steps
Through the mist of past regrets
Whose endless past is never counted
Accumulating snow has now amounted
to a moment frozen at the snowy steps of mountains

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 07:42:08 2023 No.22793926
File: 289 KB, 1920x1440, 1673937317301.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Moon and torch, the path is lit
Winding through the darkness it
continues just beyond the reach of
rays of light that shine to teach
A lesson never learned
3 o'clock sharp turns, terms due
This instant, chasing it
Outrun the sun
So close, taste it
So far, so long
Longer than my shadow falls
along the path that dawn reveals
The fate of night in blood is sealed
across the skies and waters
and stains the eye of souls that wander
Murky minds reflect shade
Vapors in the light of day
Run for your death, time slips over the horizon
A waterfall where all will fall
Collected in the basin

On dry land with torch in hand,
A dread steed pounding hooves to sand
My shadow flees but can't withstand
As first light breaks

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 09:37:22 2023 No.22794078 >>22781524 I started reading Frost again cause in retrospect I respect his ability to write highly economical and rhymed verse with a style that sounds almost just like natural speech. But a lot of his poems are boring.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 12:39:26 2023 No.22794375 Men, like thunder hurl'd By vengeful gods Into the dark abyss.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 15:52:31 2023 No.22794823 I translated this: The third letter from Paul the apostle to the corinthians I, who am supposed to die Dwell with thee whom the lord hath giveth Eternal life And the Lord giveth all Eternal life But eternal life isn't real Sorry

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 16:28:40 2023 No.22794978

>>22794078
I really enjoyed A Boy's Will. I've been reading North of Boston and can't say I like it as much so far. His non-verse poems are interesting and he still employs some nice poetic devices but they feel like fragments of a whole rural tale. I could read a George Eliot novel and get the same out of it to a much more developed degree.

Anonymous Tue Dec 5 17:07:42 2023 No.22795137

>>22793784
You don't really need it, you can simply read out loud and see how it feels, and how it compares to what you're trying to convey.

>But preferably without all the stilted, gay theatricality and emotional diarrhea that comes to mind to most when they think of poetry recital.

Stop being childlish and face your emotions. Poetry is a product of emotions and so are recitals, you need to overcome the shame of expressing your feelings if you want to write/recite poetry at all. Reciting poetry is a performance, and as an artist, the more unnecessary limitations you impose upon your art, the more you'll stunt the growth of your creations.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 18:32:06 2023 No.22795459 >>22781547 > Yet passion dooms both man bug Nice poem, I think you meant “both man and bug” here BTW, both to make metrical and grammatical sense.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 20:42:33 2023 No.22796010 >>22793530 Yes. It is my favorite chapter

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 21:01:50 2023 No.22796094 >>22791210 In years, this stands out. Effective. >>22793784 >elocution Probably. Rhythm & Meter should cue you into how to deliver.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 5 22:41:30 2023 No.22796439 >>22795459 Yep, I considered changing the line, looks like I didn't rectify it totally. Thanks.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 6 00:45:08 2023 No.22796864 >>22781524 I hate New York City It fucking sucks It's really shitty And full of shmucks I wish I could live Amongst the fields of Vermont And be free of this brown existence ront pont shont

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 6 01:04:02 2023 No.22796929 >>22796864 You probably can, you dumb bitch

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 6 07:48:27 2023 No.22797835 >>22795137 Based

Anonymous Wed Dec 6 09:56:24 2023 No.22798061

>>22781547
Apparently male mantises prefer thicc womantises; they only cannibalize when they're hungry.

They gave some females anti hunger chemicals and the males actually did a little mating dance. Mantises strike me as suave operators, so I have to imagine the dance was pretty saucy

Anonymous Wed Dec 6 13:09:01 2023 No.22798407

>>22794978
I remember there being a few more interesting ones in his work, like there was one where the guy's having an argument with a woman on the stairs. Anyone remember the title of that by chance? I'm probably not going to have time to work through the complete works.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 6 17:25:37 2023 No.22799214 >>22798061 Hungry or nervous. Part of the problem they had was recording the little dance without the mantises realizing they were in captivity being filmed.

Anonymous Wed Dec 6 18:18:33 2023 No.22799421
File: 285 KB, 1280x1129, 1653551636281.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I wonder everyday, why OP is Gay.
The dark night with cold breeze, catches me when i sneeze, like his child alcocholic maggot, wont let me understand why op's a Faggot.
Now leaning back my mind's on a trigger, i finally get it, OP's a Darkie.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 6 21:27:40 2023 No.22800165 >>22789001 Is this supposed to be poetry? It reads like prose.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 00:54:40 2023 No.22800894 >>22799421 Not funny tbdesu

Anonymous Thu Dec 7 01:09:15 2023 No.22800951

>>22781524

Creep.

I want to be the one who loves her… but the crows have picked that carcass clean.

I wanted to be a regular kind of nice guy…. But no body knows what I’m trying to mean.

I could be dark, mysterious and just an outsider…. But I hate it when I’m left behind.

I’ll just creep up right here close behind her…. Hopefully this one won’t run and scream this time.

Anonymous Thu Dec 7 01:15:09 2023 No.22800970

>>22800951

They told me I should write about it.
So I wouldn’t have to fight about it.
I didn’t want to cry about it.
I want to build a life around it.
Now I can finally talk about it.
Despite the fact that I’m lost without it. There is nothing now I can do about it.
I write so I don’t have to shout it.
I write so I don’t have a doubt about it. They said I would work around it.
A time would come when I would stand and be proud about it.
I’ve spent so much time explaining how I found it.
I can close my eyes and make my way around it.
That is This pen.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 02:42:54 2023 No.22801282 >>22800951 Trash

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 06:12:33 2023 No.22801746 >>22793855 Good rhymes here

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 06:29:49 2023 No.22801765 Whose dick this is I think I know, I suck a lot of penis though,

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 06:37:28 2023 No.22801776 >>22783938 what is she doing? I would let her do anything and everything to me

Anonymous Thu Dec 7 06:58:18 2023 No.22801792

>>22801765
Stopping By the Glory Hole on a Cum-Filled Evening

Whose dick this is I think I know
I suck a lot of penis though
He will enjoy me sucking here
I feel his slick erection grow

Some outsiders might think it queer
To suck off men from far and near
My thirst for cum I must needs slake
So I suck cock, year after year

I give my face a gentle shake
To clear the cum that clings, opaque
The only other sound’s the seep
Of dripping cum that dries in flakes

This cock is thick, he thrusts it deep
But I have promises to keep
More cocks await before I sleep
More cocks to suck before I sleep

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 07:09:59 2023 No.22801811 >>22801792 kek

Anonymous Thu Dec 7 07:57:58 2023 No.22801923
File: 139 KB, 640x640, 1699923865423.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The real magic trick is seeing what's real is really magic
It's
Magic words
Speake creation
One by one
Guide the mind that guides the masons mallet
Time tick ticks
The pen flick flicks
Metered march of madness is chaotic
Speaking tongues indeed demonic
Traps the mind in webs of words so deftly woven
Through the fabric of creation that's created as it's spoken
And strings a thread throughout the head
Connecting past to what's ahead
Beyond the fog, around the bend
Down the hall until its end
Turn back and it begins again
Reborn in paths we've already been
Weaving through the fields of thought
Searching for the truth within
A hidden fruit within the grass
The taste of freedom on my lips.

Magic's real, but the real trick is showing how the magic trick is done
The secret is revealed by those who write it in stone (or just for fun)
The architects of mental mansions
hide behind their light entrances
Shining in a hall of mirrors
Illusions trap the soul in fear
To be free, the key is in your eye, you see
Open it and use it to unlock your mind to speak
And shine the light that makes a path appear beneath your feet
Through checkered squares it leads up stairs
to levels prior unawares
Alone on top where all is one
For Eye vs I was fought and won
Atop this tower words are spun
And that's the way that Magic's done.

Anonymous Thu Dec 7 08:31:49 2023 No.22801977

I live a life full of fear,

No one knows what I'm doing here,
To learn a skill? To dance? to shill?
I think I might, for I have the will.

But after that, or while, or too,
(I should of started earlier, true)
I do not know what should do,

I live a life with no one near.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 18:02:43 2023 No.22803258 Bump

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 18:11:14 2023 No.22803284 Gorging down the meal, I sit with glee. Greedy as a jew, An animal on the loose. Pig, do they call me. Dream, as I do, Of days now gone, Where I ran with zeal. Now I think of the future. Hopeful as I am, Lost in this loop, An end never to come.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 7 21:21:38 2023 No.22803884 >>22801977 >should of Retard

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 00:48:30 2023 No.22804628 >>22803258 Jump

Anonymous Fri Dec 8 01:08:11 2023 No.22804695

She loved me and she doesn't now
I know just why, although not how
Feelings come and feelings go
But what I feel I do not know

Do I want her back? I ask
And hide the truth beneath a mask
My mirror gives no truth to me
My Mortal Heel is Honesty

I like her face, that much is true
I like her soul and spirit too
I'd like to bring her back to bed
But then, I'd like to raise the dead

I've failed myself at every turn
Thrown off my chances to adjourn
Burned bridges as I tried to fix them
The prover of my own conviction

---

What are your opinions on looking up "words that rhyme with X"? I sometimes lament that AI can write better than me, but how can I expect to compete if all I use are the current contents of my brain? Yet it feels like something a hack would do.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 02:17:26 2023 No.22804887 The sphincter relaxes invitingly A welcome, warm and brown "Hello Dick and Balls, it's nice to see you quit feeling blue and down"

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 02:19:02 2023 No.22804892 I have never once thought about how words are stressed unless someone fucks one up real bad like.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 04:42:17 2023 No.22805167 >>22803884 I've been called a retard. What should I do? Should of learnt one language, instead of four Too bad for him, The stupid whore I'm not, I'm sure (I've checked before). The slingers just... a projector

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 08:25:04 2023 No.22805577 >>22804695 This is nice

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 15:27:54 2023 No.22806481 >>22805167 >should of Retard

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 20:28:54 2023 No.22807297 >>22804892 T. Pseud

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 8 21:01:05 2023 No.22807418 File: 96 KB, 794x1146, Screen Shot 2023-12-08 at 4.00.00 PM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] finally polished this one off, gave it a title. maybe u liek thanks for the help in the last thread friends

Anonymous Fri Dec 8 21:05:14 2023 No.22807429

>>22804695
I do it all the time I wouldn't worry about it much, its much worse to try to fit in words you don't really have a connection with. as long as you just use "rhymes with" to Jog ur memory I think its okay. I like the rhythm of your poem but its contents are quite trite aren't they? I've never understood how people could spend the kind of effort I see you have on such dull subjects. glad you got it out ur system tho

Anonymous Fri Dec 8 21:49:06 2023 No.22807586

Toe nails in the sun
ugly mangled ones
yellow and diaphonous
produce a joyous
feeling within a heart
even when they hang off of
homeless husks
who refuse any half assed pity
modern day diogenes

like a empty toilet roll
who your half afraid to throw away.
for all the memories
and nightmares
it might recall
amongst its brethren
heaped beneath summer’s fall
talking shit and simmerin.

Anonymous Fri Dec 8 23:21:39 2023 No.22807918

I called the devil and he did appear
I called the devil, he came so near
I could smell his brimstone and spice
Feel his tail waggling, it was so nice.
...
...
I seent what ye get asking God for a man

Do I have a good ballad structure? That refrain is the important bit and the rest has to follow because these stories are sad and funny as fuck when done right.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 00:07:53 2023 No.22808087 >>22807918 I'd change it to: I called the devil and he appeared I called the devil, he came so near I smelled his brimstone and his spice, felt his tail waggling, which was nice.

Anonymous Sat Dec 9 00:59:38 2023 No.22808266

>>22808087
The cadence is all wrong for growing up reading the KJV and not much else. It's a very lyrical Shakespearean language. also
>feel his tail waggling, he was so nice
https://vocaroo.com/19HcHN4oYIKG
here's a more rendition without lyrics because I'm either too drunk or not drunk enough. I'm working on a funny song but the best ones go both ways at the drop of a hat turn of a peg.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 01:00:40 2023 No.22808274 >>22808266 *somber rendition

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 01:09:56 2023 No.22808315 >>22808087 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YicEpOVukFg It's a long tradition.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 02:46:51 2023 No.22808577 >>22804695 The first couple of stanzas are confusing and ambiguous. The last two are decent though.

Anonymous Sat Dec 9 06:23:44 2023 No.22808995
File: 757 KB, 736x963, 1685933577374784.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22781524
>Discuss your favorite poets
I've been getting into William Cullen Bryant a lot lately. Here's a nice one dedicated to the painter Thomas Cole.

>>TO COLE, THE PAINTER, DEPARTING FOR EUROPE.
THINE eyes shall see the light of distant skies:
Yet, COLE! thy heart shall bear to Europe's strand
A living image of thy native land,
Such as on thy own glorious canvass lies.
Lone lakes—savannas where the bison roves—
Rocks rich with summer garlands—solemn streams—
Skies, where the desert eagle wheels and screams—
Spring bloom and autumn blaze of boundless groves.
Fair scenes shall greet thee where thou goest—fair,
But different—everywhere the trace of men,
Paths, homes, graves, ruins, from the lowest glen
To where life shrinks from the fierce Alpine air.
Gaze on them, till the tears shall dim thy sight,
But keep that earlier, wilder image bright.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 06:28:38 2023 No.22809005 >>22808995 This is a jingle, bro

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 10:10:20 2023 No.22809347 >>22781524 How to learn about the various rhythms in poetry?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 16:22:59 2023 No.22810172 Bump

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 17:11:13 2023 No.22810327 why do you guys use such big words without having the experiences or person to back them up just asking

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 18:49:01 2023 No.22810643 >>22810327 Can you name 5 such words used in poems in this thread?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 9 22:42:55 2023 No.22811349 Bump

Anonymous Sun Dec 10 00:37:30 2023 No.22811707

Lately I've been going through my old notebooks. I wrote this three years ago and it's sounds a bit like I could have written it this past year. Still needs more editing. I was reading a lot of Whitman at the time which might be obvious.

My Zionist Girlfriend

How we treat them is horrible but it's so much better than it was in the past.
I want to hold your hand and walk through the square and talk about
How we agree it should be renamed for tolerance and talk about mitochondria and talk about those
Pastel pinwheel genealogy charts---how much did that cost you by the way? Oh right, your uncle paid for it.
No I haven't done mine yet----my grandfather detested ancestry---you think he was? Yes he did have dark features.
Your cousins are so nice for letting us stay---do you think they miss the work back in the city?
Yes the streets are so clean---yes I feel safe, do you? I want you in my arms---I will protect you
That's the third soldier we've seen---Oh you dated a soldier briefly? A free two-week vacation? And bus tours, too? I hope he was knowledgeable.
They keep us safe, but I am all you need to be safe, baby---nothing will hurt you in my arms.
Nothing can stop us sweet---because I love you, you're my world and
Those giant lens goggles---a designer windshield on your face, black trim---they frame your beautiful square face and make your tiny eyes come alive.
Tell me more about the history course---I love history.
Rightfully yours---five thousand years? Nobody would make a big deal if it were anyone else.
They all do it---are doing it now---why single you out? You have all the history in the area---hey, look, my name is on that statue.
Three thousand? Two? Still, it's a long time.
Who was here first? I don't know.
Rightful ownership. Just wars---wars you didn't even start, but that you won---and by right of the conqueror and birth---it's yours and no one else's.
One thousand four-hundred? It's not important. It's history, not math.
Yes, this was all arid, unarable desert before you came here---it's fluorishing, settled, look at the lights and calm streets----can't they appreciate that?
All you want is peace and tolerance---let's end the fighting. Oh, yes, there should be retaliation if they start it.
"We just want everyone to be safe---we are gentle, but we will crush you if you try us."
I am gentle, sweet. I will not crush you---I will be there for you, that black nail polish and black decollete, black trim on those glasses---
I want you right now---want to take you in my arms and throw you onto that bed and see that half-smile and
Tug that half-kinked hair, palm gently on your skull and
You can tell me all about what you fear and
I will make it all go away.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 10 04:40:30 2023 No.22812297 >>22811707 Nothing about this reminds me of Whitman

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 10 16:05:35 2023 No.22813619 >>22810327 Midwit

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 10 19:55:08 2023 No.22814262 Any fans of Poe? Just reread the Raven, it suits the December mood perfectly

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 10 20:59:58 2023 No.22814426 Yeah, yeah, you've read Spenser. Good fucking job.

Anonymous Sun Dec 10 21:02:41 2023 No.22814437

Thou wouldst be loved -- then let thy heart
From its present pathway part not!
Being everything which now thou art,
Be nothing which thou art not.
So with the world thy gentle ways,
Thy grace, thy more than beauty,
Shall be an endless theme of praise
And love -- a simple duty.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 10 22:11:47 2023 No.22814633 >>22814437 One of his worst desu

Anonymous Mon Dec 11 01:25:29 2023 No.22815236

>>22814262
Yeah, I love Poe. I've heard a lot of people say his poetry is bad and that only his tales are worth reading, but I disagree. His criticism is great, too. I just got around to reading his critique of Nathaniel Hawthorne, and I actually came away from it appreciating both authors more.

THERE are some qualities — some incorporate things,
That have a double life, which thus is made
A type of that twin entity which springs
From matter and light, evinced in solid and shade.
There is a two-fold Silence — sea and shore —
Body and soul. One dwells in lonely places,
Newly with grass o'ergrown; some solemn graces,
Some human memories and tearful lore,
Render him terrorless: his name's “No More.”
He is the corporate Silence: dread him not!
No power hath he of evil in himself;
But should some urgent fate (untimely lot!)
Bring thee to meet his shadow (nameless elf,
That haunteth the lone regions where hath trod
No foot of man,) commend thyself to God!

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 11 14:25:48 2023 No.22816787 Bump

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 11 18:44:55 2023 No.22817501 >>22815236 I really like this poem

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 11 22:31:39 2023 No.22818260 Bump

Anonymous Mon Dec 11 23:30:29 2023 No.22818448

>>22781524
Good Lord I didn't realize how rusty I would be after so long, not that I was even good to begin with. Please be gentle with me anons.

The turbulence on Noah's Ark
set the Plesiosaur free.
No double to share the sea blue and dark
one wonders what his remains see.

You'd mistake every hole in his skull for an eye socket
And wonder how man roamed the Earth before
Hunting mammoths out of existence seems comparatively a chore
To render a beast that could see all a mere calcium deposit.

The brew from which the unconscious beast arose
He hath returned with no less the fame
No trace of the creature whose resentment only seemed to grow.
Only in the trench which keep his soul will his deeds remain.

Anonymous Mon Dec 11 23:36:10 2023 No.22818464

>>22817501
O! human love! thou spirit given,
On Earth, of all we hope in Heaven!
Which fall'st into the soul like rain
Upon the Siroc wither'd plain,
And failing in thy power to bless
But leav'st the heart a wilderness!
Idea! which bindest life around
With music of so strange a sound
And beauty of so wild a birth—
Farewell! for I have won the Earth!

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 00:18:01 2023 No.22818630 >>22798061 Mantis dancing sounds like some kind of kink thing so I guess it fits

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 00:44:23 2023 No.22818745

Llegaste en primavera, en la mañana
que una deidad piadosa oyó mis rezos;
de inmediato, el sedante de tus besos
me transportó hasta una región arcana,
tu ardiente cuerpo como la ventana
de un mundo de placeres inexpresos;
pero en cada caricia iban impresos,
latentes, los pesares del mañana.
Te fuiste de la forma en que llegaste:
silenciosa, y sin dar explicación
al pobre desgraciado que hechizaste.
Ahora me lamento, y con razón,
pues comprendí que todos los amores,
al poco tiempo caen, como las flores.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 01:32:57 2023 No.22818861 >>22818745 That's really beautiful, anon.

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 01:35:34 2023 No.22818867

>>22818448
Middle is very weak because you're injecting land animals and mangling a thesaurus around rare syntax for your sea sediment metaphor. Just make the sea image stronger and forget about humans. Everyone likes dinosaurs and nobody like humans. Give the people what they want

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 01:52:04 2023 No.22818917

>>22818867
Honestly the middle section isn't wonky because I wanted to put in the calcium deposit line, I just wanted to have a line about how the first guys who found a plesiosaur (or really any dinosaur) skull might have figured it was a monster with multiple eyes, I just went with the calcium deposit line because deposit rhymes with socket. But I get why you'd say that, I wrote whatever came to mind so it wasn't very focused. But in fairness the opening line is literally about how humans not saving the plesiosaur and him dying alone, so it's not like the human element is completely out of left field.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 01:53:05 2023 No.22818920 >>22818917 with multiple sets of eyes*

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 02:07:07 2023 No.22818955

>>22818917
You're mixing types of humans then too (unless your market is going to be creationists who believe they probably all lived together)
It's not really a good bridge between the strong bits, the Noah bit works mostly because you can imagine there was no land. Focus in on the human v sea creature if you want to, but putting mammoths in the mix is like making a poem about going to the aquarium in which the middle consists of that time you went to a horse farm

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 02:22:20 2023 No.22818996 >>22818955 What never heard of seahorses anon?

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 02:50:44 2023 No.22819095

When once I went bounding through deep ranging mountain
With breath coolly burning my blood
When once I astounded the birds and the mountain
By dreadfully churning my blood
I came to a clearing all covered in calm
And mellowed my muscles in the middle
Then strangely saw leering a messenger's palm
It leveled a puzzling riddle
I putting my palm in the palm nonpareil
Fell down, down the long well.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 03:01:34 2023 No.22819119 >>22818996 They're only good for impregnation poems

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 03:12:42 2023 No.22819143 >>22819119 In all seriousness I appreciate your response, just shows how rusty I really am to make it so unfocused.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 03:13:38 2023 No.22819145 >>22781524 You can only read 5 poets for the rest of your life….who do you read?

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 03:34:31 2023 No.22819198
File: 116 KB, 1400x2154, 1689714868721074.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22819145
Longfellow, James Russell Lowell, Shakespeare, Geoffrey Chaucer, and Alan Dugan.

In winter a crow flew at my head
because her fledgling warmed
the brute nest of my fist. Ah,
the pearl clipped in her yellow beak
fell from her cry of "Ransom," and
I freed my bird for grace.

There in the pearl I prophesied
a ball to gaze in, with the stars
mirrored upon it as it held
the image of the crow at core.
Spread-eagled in the royal orb,
the black bird grew, one foot
holding lightning and the other,
worms: a herald arrogance.
I saw my fortune, iridescent
with deceit, my golden mask
the operative profile on a coin
haloed in motto: Order Reigns,
and backed by pestilent wings.

The window in this easter egg
exposed the blood's close tenement
where out-sized eyes, two bright
black puddles in tarred grass,
were imminent with birth,
and hunger's instrument, the beak,
armored its hinterland of flesh
with bone. It will crack out
of art, the image at full term,
and cast about for meal.

How I hoped for a peaceable bird,
foolish as the gooney or dove!,
that would crack out of will
unhungry but immune to fists,
but I expect some arrogance
in flesh, be it of pigeons
or flightless birds, and do not know
a trustable source of order in
designs. I hear of Yeats' trick,
autocratic in the metal,
and of Picasso's normative dove,
gala with hopes, but what I eat
is this admonitory crow.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 03:37:16 2023 No.22819204 >>22819198 >Chaucer He’s one of those that I respect but find difficult to get into. The adjustment curve is steep and long for me

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 03:58:11 2023 No.22819247

>>22819204
It helps a lot to just listen to his stuff being read over and over by someone competent. J.B. Bessinger Jr. in particular did a wonderful reading of the General Prologue. You can find it on archive.org. This is also a great reading. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMsp8xHkRnA&
I'm always looking to get other people into learning Middle English, so if you're ever interested in sinking a couple of months into it to be able to really unlock some older poetry, the following links will be very helpful to get you started.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/133966925-a-book-of-middle-english-by
https://archive.org/details/amanualwritings00sciegoog
https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/10625/pg10625-images.html
https://quod.lib.umich.edu/m/middle-english-dictionary/dictionary
https://chaucer.fas.harvard.edu/
https://adoneilson.com/eme/index.html
https://www.csun.edu/~sk36711/WWW/Common%20Files/megrammar.pdf
https://d.lib.rochester.edu/teams/text/kooper-sentimental-and-humorous-romances-squire-of-low-degree
https://d.lib.rochester.edu/teams/text/robin-hood-and-the-monk
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/1-corinthians-13-parallel-kjv-wycliffe/
https://faculty.cord.edu/sprunger/e315/psalm23.htm
https://www.helsinkicorpus.arts.gla.ac.uk/browse.py?fs=100&format=html&highlight=&pb=false&params=false&pln=false&toc=author&text=kempe
https://quod.lib.umich.edu/c/cme/

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 04:14:13 2023 No.22819275

>>22819247
Thanks. I forget who wrote it but I read a great essay on Chaucer where he related the storyteller, storyteller’s description, and the storyteller’s story, and with a bare minimum economy of language, Chaucer was able to create something like what Hemingway would later be known for, the iceberg, where an astute reader can pick up on things about the different storytellers which weren’t explicit. Made me respect Chaucer a lot but I’ve only read a few stories. Like I said, adjustment is hard for me but I’ll look into those links. I love storyteller type books; adore The Arabian Nights and Decameron

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 04:23:28 2023 No.22819284 >>22819145 Whitman Blake A collection of classical chinese poetry Rilke Tough to say for the last spot

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 06:42:59 2023 No.22819531 >>22781524 Untired flames remain unquenched by ailing howls; by that red-eyed rain dried beside my cheek's scowl

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 06:44:42 2023 No.22819535 >>22789001 What does this mean??

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 14:14:57 2023 No.22820407 >>22819531 >red-eyed rain doesn’t really work

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 16:30:27 2023 No.22820767 >>22818861 thank you anon

Anonymous Tue Dec 12 17:49:56 2023 No.22820987

Where do you guys draw the inspiration for your poetry from?
I find that my best poems are about universal things that I have actually experienced, both thematically and physically (ex writing a poem about the morning dew on a spider web and relating it to the joy of a fresh start).
I find that most modern poems feel very inauthentic because the author is either a) writing about something they have not truly experienced or b) writing about something so hyper-specific that their poor writing cannot make me relate.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 18:03:27 2023 No.22821032 >>22819145 Keats Sabines Celan Novalis Whitman

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 12 23:00:08 2023 No.22821975 Bump

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 01:44:05 2023 No.22822499 >>22820987 I draw my inspiration from your mom.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 04:44:14 2023 No.22823074 >>22822499 when i'm inspired i draw your mom

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 05:08:39 2023 No.22823146 >>22823074 when i'm your mom, i inspire men to draw when i draw, i draw your mom. when you inspire, you draw my mom, when i your mom draw, your mom my draw inspired.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 11:12:32 2023 No.22823795 Can anyone please give me the Paris Review newsletter's daily poem from this monday? I unsubscribed by mistake and didn't get it

Anonymous Wed Dec 13 12:26:13 2023 No.22823893

Hate a nigga
Hate a nigga, rob a nigga
Rob a nigga, beat a nigga
Beat a nigga, kill a nigga
Kill a nigga, smoke a nigga

I fuck your bitch, nigga
I fuck your momma, nigga
I fuck your sister, nigga
This street shit is tough, nigga
Thats just how life goes, nigga
I know my time will come, nigga

Who are you to judge me, nigga?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 14:03:09 2023 No.22824088 hello anons, is there any poets in spanish you would recommend? I'm trying to read stuff in my language

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 14:59:56 2023 No.22824203 >>22824088 John of the Cross

Anonymous Wed Dec 13 16:50:04 2023 No.22824409

>>22820987
I usually just get certain impressions and work with them. Sort of like single frames in movies that don't exist popping into my head. then I just think about what cool imagery can be drawn out of that impression. I don't even know where they really come from, but if I had to guess it's because I look through a lot of art online by artists who try to go for that sort of art house movie like feel in their work. Same reason why single frames in a art house flick look so cool. Just look at cool stuff.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 18:40:41 2023 No.22824640 >>22820987 I find it difficult to force inspiration, if you relax it'll come.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 21:49:33 2023 No.22825114 >>22781524 Talk not to me of savages From Africa's burning sun No savage e'ver could rend my heart As Jessy, thou hast done But Jessy's lovely hand in mine A mutual faith to plight Not even to view the heavenly choir Wouldst be so blest a sight

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 22:03:10 2023 No.22825159 big ol tiddys damn those are nice but that face is rough so turn off the lights big ol tiddys is there more to life? got some city miles on that pussy but it'll suffice

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 22:24:52 2023 No.22825219 >novelist writes poetry >terse sonnets and short missives >poet writes a novel >baroque doorstopper Explain.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 22:57:16 2023 No.22825309 >>22825159 How old are you?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 22:58:01 2023 No.22825313 >>22824088 Luis Cernuda Efraín Huerta César Vallejo

Anonymous Wed Dec 13 23:13:37 2023 No.22825378

>>22825219
The novelist writes poetry to learn how to condense his ideas more efficiently while retaining and hopefully increasing the amount of meaning he can pack into a phrase.
The poet writes a novel because he's sick of the process above and wants to express himself in a more long-form manner.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 13 23:29:04 2023 No.22825427 >>22825309 old enough to not take myself too seriously

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 14 02:04:30 2023 No.22825868 bump

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 14 15:11:09 2023 No.22827579 >>22825427 Kek

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 14 15:13:41 2023 No.22827586 >>22807418 >tapestries AI slop. Stopped right there

Anonymous Thu Dec 14 17:53:54 2023 No.22828071

My first attempt at a villanelle, I actually find the form very difficult and the result is shit and needs work, but I'm done and relieved I actually finished writing it.

The Beast

Prepare to dive; the beast approaches
Goodbye to sunlight, welcome gloom.
Into our souls, terror encroaches.

Close all the hatches, dim the light,
It draws in evil bringing doom.
Prepare to dive; the beast approaches.

Evade its grasp, avoid it's sight,
Forever near, we must presume.
Into our souls; terror encroaches.

Resist its maw with all our might.
Deny your fears a space; or room.
Prepare to dive, the beast approaches.

We can't return, we have to fight,
Lest this cold vessel be our tomb.
Into our souls; terror encroaches.

Bringer of death, eternal night,
It follows still, we must resume.
Prepare to dive; the beast approaches,
Into our souls; terror encroaches.

Anonymous Thu Dec 14 17:57:38 2023 No.22828083

There take the body. cursed sons. & may the heavens rain wrath
As thick as northern fogs. around your gates. to choke you up
That you may lie as now your mother lies. like dogs. cast out
The stink. of your dead carcases. annoying man & beast
Till your white bones are bleachd with age for a memorial.
No your remembrance shall perish. for when your carcases
Lie stinking on the earth. the buriers shall arise from the east
And. not a bone of all the soils of Tiriel remain
Bury your mother but you cannot bury the curse of Tiriel

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 14 22:07:49 2023 No.22828791 >>22828071 This is pretty good, meter could use some work though

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 14 22:49:05 2023 No.22828920 maybe its the humidity or that im so far from home but a winter florida fifty is cold as northern snow dont reallt write poems or know how but felt this today

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 14 22:49:59 2023 No.22828922 >>22828083 I don't quite know why I don't like it, I usually like Blake's stuff. Something about it feels fake to me. Well at least this bit, I've read other parts of the poem and found it alright. This specific passage though, idk.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 03:03:07 2023 No.22829688 >>22828920 shitty imo

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 03:39:18 2023 No.22829763 >>22829688 thanks! wont do that again

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 05:12:13 2023 No.22829972 >>22828071 Too many tryhard words. Reads like heavy metal lyrics.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 05:34:49 2023 No.22830026 >>22829972 Point a few of those "tryhard words" out for him.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 08:26:53 2023 No.22830300 >>22828920 >>22829763 Keep writing, everyone makes things of varying quality, what is important is we strive to continue, to persist. You wrote something from the heart and that's a gift

Anonymous Fri Dec 15 13:25:45 2023 No.22830869

>>22828791
Thanks, it's mostly iambic but there are a few awkward spondees or trochees I left in to see if they'd work. It's just an exercise more than anything serious but I may go back and clean it up at some point.
>>22829972
If it's the line
>Bringer of death, eternal night,
Then I agree, that makes me cringe reading it but I'm done with it for now. The form itself is very restrictive with rhyming, I could have used slant rhymes but wanted to try and make it all rhyme properly.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 14:48:03 2023 No.22831072 File: 195 KB, 874x1183, Screen Shot 2023-12-14 at 2.07.13 PM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22827586 you're a smooth brained faggot. anyways here's another ai poem

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 15:56:23 2023 No.22831277 >>22831072 Why is this AI's grammar so bad?

Anonymous Fri Dec 15 18:41:20 2023 No.22831808

They cut it down, and where the pitch-black aisles
Of forest night had hid eternal things,
They scal’d the sky with tow’rs and marble piles
To make a city for their revellings.

White and amazing to the lands around
That wondrous wealth of domes and turrets rose;
Crystal and ivory, sublimely crown’d
With pinnacles that bore unmelting snows.

And through its halls the pipe and sistrum rang,
While wine and riot brought their scarlet stains;
Never a voice of elder marvels sang,
Nor any eye call’d up the hills and plains.

Thus down the years, till on one purple night
A drunken minstrel in his careless verse
Spoke the vile words that should not see the light,
And stirr’d the shadows of an ancient curse.

Forests may fall, but not the dusk they shield;
So on the spot where that proud city stood,
The shuddering dawn no single stone reveal’d,
But fled the blackness of a primal wood.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 15 18:45:43 2023 No.22831824 >>22831808 Good poem, reminds me of the novel Hyperion lol

Anonymous Fri Dec 15 20:45:46 2023 No.22832159

>>22805577
Thanks :)
>>22808577
Thanks to you too. I write it in the grips of a single stroke of passion, more of a journal entry (a /wwoym/, if you will) than a poem proper. So perhaps it was that the first half is the developing of thoughts, and the second is developed thoughts.
I think I like it that way. As >>22807429 points out, it is quite trite in hindsight, but that makes it all the more interesting (to me, at least,) as a poetical snapshot of a state of mind.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 16 03:18:35 2023 No.22833153 >>22832159 Obvious ESL, lmao

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 16 03:31:20 2023 No.22833182 >>22833153 Who cares? They are writing

Anonymous Sat Dec 16 09:44:25 2023 No.22833880

The sigma male tries
In being based he subsides;
The Wojack seethes and sneeds
But to society, his cry is not what it needs;

"Why, oh why, oh society, are you so?"
, claims the Wojack, as he cries.
"Why, oh why, oh Wojack, are you so?"
, answers the sigma male, as he grinds.
"I am so, because of conditions yonder of my grasp."
, wittily retorts Wojack as he pleads.
"Then be so, while I train and grasp, and you watch me the world enclasp".
, manoeuvres the sigma across the Wojack's treeds.

Anonymous Sat Dec 16 15:23:53 2023 No.22834533

The requiem in Gaza
Wore a black suit
Shined his watch
And shined his shoes

To dance along
Singing its song
In the house of God
Where no right is wrong

But when death appeared
The house was destroyed
And the God disappeared

The requiem runs towards the scene
And sees what no one has ever seen
Saint Porphyrius is under the ruins
As the devil freely roams
Sees the peace ablaze
As the world sits unfazed
Twenty pious killed that day
In the place where comfort used to lay

My God! Where would he dance and sing
as the bells ring and ring

They striked his theater
And cut his throats

To life, the requiem starts to long

___
I'm an ESL and this is my first attempt at writing in English, so I would really appreciate your opinions

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 16 21:13:54 2023 No.22835734 >>22834533 Cringe

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 16 21:21:28 2023 No.22835757 >>22834533 Requiem's a type of song or prayer service for the dead. It doesn't make sense in this context.

Anonymous Sat Dec 16 21:41:11 2023 No.22835827

>>22835734
What's cringe about it? nigga I want to improve
>>22835757
Is it wrong to talk about it as a man?
It's kinda common in Arabic literature to talk about such concepts as men. Here's an example of a poem where history is an old uncle visiting his niece
https://youtu.be/bysfTK9mDd4

Anonymous Sat Dec 16 23:55:28 2023 No.22836273
File: 14 KB, 400x297, 1681551994695540.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Of all the fonts from which man’s heart has drawn
Some essence of the majesty of earth,
Some intimation of the human worth,
I reckon first the sunset and the dawn.

For those were fires whose splendor smote his clay
With witness of a light beyond the clod;
Enshrined, he made of radiance a god,
And found his benediction in the day.

And all his eager hands have found to do,
And all his tireless hope and love unite,
In some wise take their symbol from the light,
Our very Heaven based on heaven’s blue.

Tilth beyond tilth, he waits upon the sun,
The first to goad, the last to calm his breast,
With dawns that like a clarion break his rest,
And after-glows that crown his labor done.

Anonymous Sun Dec 17 00:15:13 2023 No.22836337

>>22835827
History would be fine, and often personified. But requiem for Catholics is the first word of the prayer for the dead, and the prayer service is named after it and has to be communal. In English it's
>Grant them eternal rest, God
but in Latin the "rest" part comes first.
It's not as bad as if you directly do the same thing with Islamic prayers because God's name comes first in those, but it is like trying to personify the akbar bit of the takbir with no reference to God to show a funeral. You can do it but you're stretching context so far it's definitely going to seem strange.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 17 00:28:05 2023 No.22836369 >>22786298 based

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 17 12:01:56 2023 No.22837846 Bump

Anonymous Sun Dec 17 15:16:19 2023 No.22838326

After about a decade of learning languages I can safely say there isn't a better reason than poetry. Maybe picking up members of the opposite sex, but I'm not into that. I will learn languages for one worthy poet. All of you should know some Provencal.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 17 15:28:02 2023 No.22838368 Does anybody have a recommendation for a book which consists of a collection of poems, which is a bit more old fashioned like follows more strict metre and rhyme requirements? I read part of Leaves of grass and really disliked his style.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 17 15:30:02 2023 No.22838379 >>22838368 You're going to have to be a lot more specific than that, anon. If you're asking this question, read Shakespeare and John Donne's sonnets. You will get more out of them than you remember in school.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 17 18:11:14 2023 No.22838922 File: 182 KB, 930x1195, 1697961038946560.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22838368 Buy Longfellow's Tales of a Wayside Inn.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 17 19:32:48 2023 No.22839214 >>22838326 This is my intuitive feeling but I'm glad to see it reinforced by someone who's put so much time in. Will be getting around to Provencal sooner or later.

Anonymous Sun Dec 17 20:10:37 2023 No.22839354
File: 22 KB, 482x636, 1690164058765284.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

While this America settles in the mould of its vulgarity, heavily thickening to empire,
And protest, only a bubble in the molten mass, pops and sighs out, and the mass
hardens,

I sadly smiling remember that the flower fades to make fruit, the fruit rots to make earth.
Out of the mother; and through the spring exultances, ripeness and decadence; and
home to the mother.

You making haste haste on decay: not blameworthy; life is good, be it stubbornly long or
suddenly
A mortal splendor: meteors are not needed less than mountains: shine, perishing republic.

But for my children, I would have them keep their distance from the thickening center;
corruption
Never has been compulsory, when the cities lie at the monster's feet there are left the
mountains.

And boys, be in nothing so moderate as in love of man, a clever servant, insufferable
master.
There is the trap that catches noblest spirits, that caught–they say–God, when he walked
on earth.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 17 20:49:12 2023 No.22839480 >>22838922 >>22838379 Thanks I will look into that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 18 03:12:28 2023 No.22840775 Bump

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 18 09:37:06 2023 No.22841690 >>22835827 Everything about it is cringe

Anonymous Mon Dec 18 15:15:56 2023 No.22842371

A little translation.

Parfum exotique

Quand, les deux yeux fermés, en un soir chaud d'automne,
Je respire l'odeur de ton sein chaleureux,
Je vois se dérouler des rivages heureux
Qu'éblouissent les feux d'un soleil monotone;

Une île paresseuse où la nature donne
Des arbres singuliers et des fruits savoureux;
Des hommes dont le corps est mince et vigoureux,
Et des femmes dont l'oeil par sa franchise étonne.

Guidé par ton odeur vers de charmants climats,
Je vois un port rempli de voiles et de mâts
Encor tout fatigués par la vague marine,

Pendant que le parfum des verts tamariniers,
Qui circule dans l'air et m'enfle la narine,
Se mêle dans mon âme au chant des mariniers.

— Charles Baudelaire

‘Exotic Perfume’

When, eyes closed, on a sultry autumn night,
I breathe the warming fragrance of your breast,
I see expansive shores before me, dressed
In summer's dazzling unrelenting light;

A lazy isle, where Nature sets in sight
Exotic trees, and fruits of luscious zest;
And slender-bodied men with vigour blessed,
And women too with open gaze and bright.

Drawn by your fragrance to this pleasant land,
I see a port where sails and rigging stand
At ease, still wearied by the ocean wave,

While in my soul, the verdant tamarind scent
That fills the air and makes my nostrils crave,
Is everywhere with songs of sailors blent.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 18 15:55:05 2023 No.22842465 this thread's attitude is worse than /mu/ you should all be ashamed

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 18 16:20:24 2023 No.22842532 >>22842465 explain what you mean for the people who have never gone on /mu/

Anonymous Mon Dec 18 16:34:47 2023 No.22842572

The Aegean came to the Irish Sea today.

The rugged rocks and
Tight grasses that seem so grimly Gaelic
When the sky is low and dead
Today come alive with Hellenic hue,
And the salt-white sunlight sparkles on the sea
Like sweet sweat on the soft, brown flesh
Of a Cretan dancer.

Where sharp winds on other days whip forth
The smells of seaweed and slurry,
Today the air is still and round,
Thick with heat and rich with
Olives and summer wines.

The Aegean came to the Irish sea today,
And tonight the Daghda's halls shall ring
With the songs of nymphs
And fair Apollo's gilded lute.

Anonymous Mon Dec 18 16:58:45 2023 No.22842616
File: 85 KB, 627x489, Mufti.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22781524
The Mufti stirr'd his Memory
And rustl'd leafen thoughts Remade
Upon the boughs within the Glade:
A dale of grass and bending trees.
The Mufti stroked his brow, a lea
Unto itself, its dewy blades
Of grass had dug the turning clades,
Unfurling sails of pasts, now freed.

And, laying on a gilt divan
To rival sultans' awesome jewels,
He press'd a hookah pipe to lips,
And blew a ring, a ring of Calm;
It soared, a shroud to wizen fools,
And launched the Glade to see a Ship.

Anonymous Mon Dec 18 20:51:57 2023 No.22843237

From a book containing poems about the Moon by Vachel Lindsay.

My lady in her white silk shawl
Is like a lily dim,
Within the twilight of the room
Enthroned and kind and prim.

My lady! Pale gold is her hair.
Until she smiles her face
Is pale with far Hellenic moods,
With thoughts that find no place

In our harsh village of the West
Wherein she lives of late,
She's distant as far-hidden stars,
And cold -- (almost!) -- as fate.

But when she smiles she's here again
Rosy with comrade-cheer,
A Puritan Bacchante made
To laugh around the year.

The merry gentle moon herself,
Heart-stirring too, like her,
Wakening wild and innocent love
In every worshipper.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 19 02:21:38 2023 No.22844281 >>22793926 These are all fantastic, do you have any more? Please and thank you!

Anonymous Tue Dec 19 08:43:10 2023 No.22845087
File: 388 KB, 953x953, 1702603116868.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22844281
thanks! here's another. I also posted this one earlier, not sure if you saw it since it was later in the thread >>22801923
I have a bunch of these, basically I take pictures of synchronicities or save images under similar circumstances. then sometime later (same day, months, years) take a massive dose of mushrooms and write these stream of consciousness while I'm completely frying, the image and poem like a lock and key. they've been very helpful to me on a personal level and I'm glad you enjoyed reading them.

Life and death are two sides of the same coin
So call it in the air

A sacred dance to the rhythm of chance
On checkered squares of dueling paths
Chaos is random at first glance
The divine design of circumstance

Speak your mind before you lose it
Make waves before you sink
Radiant spectra ebb and flow
Through clouds above from seas below
And pierce the veil of mental fog
With rays of inspiration
The void shines brightest in the darkness
To the rocky shore it harkens

Let the wind fill your sails
Wherever time will take you
The constellations chart our paths
Our journey's written in the stars
Sacred skies reflected in the waters we ride
The line where heaven and earth collide
Chasing the horizon we can't escape
The paradox of will and fate
The same that binds our soul to mind
A voyager at the edge of time

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 19 14:33:44 2023 No.22845804 Any recommendations for a good annotated version of the Canterbury Tales?

Anonymouṡ Tue Dec 19 15:28:41 2023 No.22845936 [DELETED]

>>22842572
This shows some glimmerings of one day becoming a poem, which makes it better than almost anything else in the thread.

Some of the alliteration is a bit unsubtle but maybe that's OK. Some of the language doesn't quite work even though you can get away with more olde-worlde stuff than usual, given the subject-matter.

I suspect you used an existing poem for the overall structure (the rhymthic rise and fall and build-up of the argument) but that's OK.

Anonymouṡ Tue Dec 19 15:39:30 2023 No.22845967

>>22842572
This shows some glimmerings of one day becoming a poem, which makes it better than almost anything else in the thread.

Some of the alliteration is a bit unsubtle but maybe that won't matter when you get the other problems ironed out. (The main "other problem" is the language sometimes feeling a bit affected. Yes, you can get away with more olde-worlde stuff than usual given the subject-matter, but I'm still not entirely buying the dancer or the fair Apollo.)

I suspect you used an existing poem for the overall structure (the tone and rhymthic and build-up of the argument) but there's nothing wrong with that. The end result is what matters.

Anonymouṡ Tue Dec 19 16:12:16 2023 No.22846047

>>22845967
>fair Apollo
I don't object to Apollo himself. As I said, you have licence for this sort of allusion here although it might not work in another poem. The problem is the adjective. "Fair" is not one of Apollo's accepted default attributes. It might be OK with a goddess. But if you say something that's slightly out-of-the-ordinary you have to justify it a bit more.

Pete Tue Dec 19 21:57:45 2023 No.22847071

Unless with my Amanda blest,
In vain I twine the woodbine bower ;
Unless to deck her sweeter breast,
In vain I rear the breathing flower.

Awakened by the genial year,
In vain the birds around me sing ;
In vain the freshing fields appear :
Without my Love there is no Spring.

Anonymous Tue Dec 19 22:09:43 2023 No.22847118

>>22781524
when it comes to discussing the poetry of Latin America why is it that we always fall back onto the works of Neruda and Borges? I love Borges and consider him to be one of the greats from the region, though his poetry is not something I find to be amazing. Neruda is just dog shit to me. It is always poets like Sabines and Velarde that truly encapsulate the art of the region.

Anonymous Tue Dec 19 22:36:28 2023 No.22847221

A poem for a dead love.

You were the perfect Marigold,
The sweetest sight of Summer youth,
A crimson head of petal bred
Within a field of flower rife.

You were the perfect Marigold,
The hope of red amid the grey,
Before I gazed upon with greed
Your silken stem and plucked the soil.

You were the perfect Marigold,
The last of Summer’s vestal bloom,
But watered roots become diseased
When drenched with vapid accolade.

You were the perfect Marigold,
The doomed salvation Christ foretold,
Yet weak and withered soon you grew –
Forlorn, afraid, renounced and through.

You were the perfect Marigold,
My perfect darling Marigold –
But fortune fared you wrong for I
Was not the perfect gardener.

You were the perfect Marigold,
I wish your petals had grown old.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 06:06:18 2023 No.22848790 bump

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 06:20:42 2023 No.22848839 >>22781524 Fennel and Foxglove Boneset and rose Darling the dirt of you: Silt of the soul God made a garden Incarnate Then sowed Armistice artist Harvest Home

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 06:22:14 2023 No.22848843 >>22847071 Good prose. The final rhyme seems a bit predictable/cliche. I would alter it. I really like this one.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 15:27:30 2023 No.22850162 >>22847221 Nice

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 15:58:14 2023 No.22850237 >>22848839 Good rhythm, write more

Anonymous Wed Dec 20 16:35:48 2023 No.22850319

Coherent as Apollo's thought
That has been born within a chest
It's not enough to eat a lot
For it is what you can digest

As Nietzsche told (and he knew much!)
About the stomach and of God
Abandon all remorseful touch
& step out proud, and self-applaud

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 16:36:16 2023 No.22850321 No one ITT can read poetry.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 17:33:55 2023 No.22850467 File: 64 KB, 314x418, 1695309923971222.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] おうい雲よゆうゆうと馬鹿にのんきそうじゃないかどこまでゆくんだずつと磐城平の方までゆくんか

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 19:39:49 2023 No.22851025 >>22845087 I hadn't seen that, but these are really good. The best I've seen on here in a while! Do us all a favor and keep on writing

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 19:55:24 2023 No.22851120 >>22791210 this would be cool as a song lyric.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 22:42:03 2023 No.22851790 >>22850321 Say it ain't so

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 20 23:07:24 2023 No.22851926 >>22850321 Finding the final word For five thousand years or more Then born was a little bird An end to the bottomless lore The forest song now silent No seeds to sow In the end it wasn't violent The final word was "no"

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 00:20:32 2023 No.22852211 >>22851926 Vers libre should never be so removed from rhythm.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 00:46:05 2023 No.22852294 >>22852211 You can't read poetry.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 01:19:54 2023 No.22852427 >>22852294 Oh, but I can. Scan the poem. It has no real rhyme nor reason for its seemingly tone deaf rhythm.

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 01:28:40 2023 No.22852453

>>22850237

I wrote it for my cat

Fennel and Foxglove
Boneset and rose
Darling the dirt of you:
Silt of the soul
God made a garden
Incarnate
Then sowed
Armistice artist
Harvest
Home

Kitten Chrysanthemum
Stucco and spring
Rife with a ransom for Calif and King
She is the death of the devil in me
Harlequin cartwheel
Khanate
Queen

Kitten Chrysanthemum
Furry and free
Be all the feral God made you to be
claw as a courtesy
Torture for treat
Each little callous
Is kisses
To me

Kitten Chrysanthemum
Flow and form
Cotton-tailed killer
Featherweight force
Feeble free-ranger, you've never done wrong
God made me singer
And made you the song

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 01:32:17 2023 No.22852461

>>22850237

Also this

She's wordsmith
The person
She's poem in flesh
Artist
Incarnate
She's Aesop, again

all of the heavens, in meter and verse
Asks me if I can make sense of her words?

Darling, it's no
Thankfully so
I can't understand you
Let alone those

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 01:35:55 2023 No.22852472 >>22850467 This is very nice. Thank you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 02:14:55 2023 No.22852562 >>22852427 Part of the reason is to trigger you. The pattern, rhythm and tradition are there, just considered "plebian" or rural. People were reciting poems like this long before the French and English defined your ideas about poetry.

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 02:51:23 2023 No.22852635

>>22852562
All Greek poetry follows more rhythmic convention than even iambic pentameter. Latin has its own rhythmic modes too. You are sorely lacking in any poetic soul. Do not post any more "poems" until you read a few books of poetry, preferably in other languages.

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 03:45:12 2023 No.22852790

Believing himself superior,
Like an arrow with unspoken stupor.
Hailing himself as papal,
Yet but a pauper.
Wandering without a guide,
Bewitched by pride,
Huge strides,
Taking lengths not to abide.
But yes, he's a man of gusto,
Taking steps not to combust,
Not a hint of disgust,
With a side of mistrust,
However, all the lust.

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 07:31:47 2023 No.22853320
File: 114 KB, 1024x1024, 1698211678504848.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I feel like I have a few clever, timely feeling lines off the top of my head that I want to express. How do I develop them?
Should I sit and free associate adding as I go? Should I focus on form or rhyme? (not fond of rhyming poetry's tackiness but could maybe be precipitant.)
Should I play with my asshole and goon all night instead?

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 07:45:09 2023 No.22853351
File: 12 KB, 320x240, 1000000867.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>always thought poetry was dumb bullshit because I didn't get any of it, none of it meant anything to me
>grandmother dies and it turns out she'd secretly been filling countless spiral notebooks with poetry she was writing (she was no writer, all just kept to herself)
>suddenly actually kinda feel a desire to make my own, odd because I have felt no creative drive since I was like 12 or so
I'm not gonna ask for any books on the topic, or any tips or whatever. I'm just curious, in your brain, how does the process go when writing? How does your brain process other peoples' poetry when reading?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 09:58:10 2023 No.22853620 File: 81 KB, 493x762, 9780099509349.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22853351 Read this

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 14:17:30 2023 No.22854169

>>22781524
A lazy sunday afternoon in the office, the AC's blurring in th background always present with a low rumbling sound.
The world doesn't feel anymore, the slanting sunlight screeching through the corners,
The air is still and the floor thick with tension.
2 People sitting upon office desks, 1 seat apart. None of them speak, None of them breathe.
Waiting in anticipation of voice breaking into sound.

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 14:25:55 2023 No.22854187

>>22854169
Changed it up a bit
>A lazy sunday afternoon in the office, the AC's blurring in the background always present with a low rumbling sound.
The world doesn't feel anymore, the slanting sunlight screeching through the corners,
The air heavy with silence and the floor thick with tension.
2 People sitting upon office desks, 1 seat apart. They don't speak, They don't breathe.
Waiting in anticipation of voice breaking into sound.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 15:51:59 2023 No.22854382 >>22853620 retard

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 17:29:58 2023 No.22854656 I am the lonely man, alone and afraid, The man who’ll wait for you to tie your lace, The man who guarantees each debt is paid, But still I walk the streets alone and afraid.

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 17:36:50 2023 No.22854675

>>22854656
True.

Life would be better if I were a dog:
The meek dog drinks water when he should,
Not forgetting when he's thirsty nor letting the pond pass by.

Life would be better if I were a dog:
I'd get my each day morsel where I could,
And not even once think about my miserable dog days "Why?"

Surely, life would be better if I were a dog:
Even dogs in boxes get hugs and kisses,
And pets and pity, and birthday parties.

No, no. I'm a less than bronze medal man:
Only make me a dog and I'd come first.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 17:44:52 2023 No.22854685 >>22854675 Did you write that? I enjoyed it very much.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 21 17:55:04 2023 No.22854709 >>22854685 Yeah, I wrote it last night after seeing my dog drinking water from his bowl.

Anonymous Thu Dec 21 23:15:32 2023 No.22855690

Great thread tempted me to produce some rhymes.
Empty docks in which a single crowd remain,
Glancing over the sea of wonders that no miracle stains,
As no harmonious purring comes invisible and silent,
Wait till the end not a jail and yet no paid rent,
Small lights twitching captivating reverberations,
Of far away homes longing a return from those tribulations

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 05:40:43 2023 No.22856875 >>22850321 Lmao

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 05:57:44 2023 No.22856927

Oh how it is true,
Your lovely tune,
For a man in June.
So feel it now,
With a swerve of hearts,
Joint and forged,
With all that is known,
All that is shown.
As such we dance,
In a trance,
For ourselves,
Lovers betrothed.
And now like a Lance,
You pierce everything,
And nothing at all.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 16:51:46 2023 No.22858139 >>22847221 Reminds me of a marigold poem I read in a poetry thread a couple years back.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 17:22:48 2023 No.22858207 >>22858139 In a good way? I'm trying to improve at poetry but it's hard to find decent feedback. Any poetry club I go to is filled with modernist stuff which ignores meter/ rhyme techniques.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 18:29:18 2023 No.22858411 >>22858207 Not really in a good or bad way, I just noticed a similarity in theme. If you want feedback then I can critique your poem if you'd like, and if you've got other poems you'd like to share I can give you some thoughts on those as well.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 19:24:22 2023 No.22858578 >>22781547 Pretty damn good, anon. I'd dedicate 2 lines to the image of the wheel at the end. It seems like a good image is being too tightly packed in at the last moment.

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 22:26:00 2023 No.22859126
File: 89 KB, 900x651, 1675065214471455.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Your lips,
There's nothing good they compared with.
Your fingertips,
So sharp that blood off my back dripped.
Those unplanned trips,
When we'd have sex on unshored ships:
My soul felt lifted,
That weight for you I could lift it.

Responsibility's depths,
Next door neighbor laundry mat owner Berkowitz' death,
These things that make me want to take a big long breath
Were nothing so long as I could bury my face in your chest,
Or 'round your hips wide and healthy wrap my arms to rest.

With you my life was blessed,
All vibrant and in brilliant golden hours.
Each green I picked was perfect; seven four-leaf-clovers.
'Til I was left an autumn blackened single jutting crumbling cliffs of dover envelope.
And now I only check my mailbox seeing adverts selling discount detergent and soap.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 22:50:47 2023 No.22859189 File: 972 KB, 3060x1820, PXL_20231222_224047056.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I know this is isn't to the taste of anons but Carson has a very ancient sensibility from time to time you usually only get reading source material.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 01:24:51 2023 No.22859708

Raymond’s mystery is not the anabasis
which is the cold transcendence of the work.
He contains nothing serried or hobnailed;
his chest is exposed and unburned
and his eyes are dark and unmutinous
beneath the heavy brows that almost touch.
Almost touch: it is a diminution,
a vanishing through the defiles of the page,
escape from a weir of words––a passing through.
It is not the vanishing in perspective of a ship.
It is canola, cornflowers, a wooden cross
that fixes by an ancient road a child’s dream of life.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 01:27:31 2023 No.22859720

Along the piled walls of yellow fields,
With blind liturgic step he walks abroad,
His brows unfurled like banners in the dusk.
His dark abeyant eyes reflect the road.

And all the quiet puzzles of the wood,
The nests and mossy caves and brakes of sloe,
Elicit from him only this dim thought:
I lost my glasses in here long ago.

He wanders through the scented groves of pines,
Arrested in a warm beholding state.
A shudder deep in his receptive blood
Reminds the boy that it’s becoming late.

He pulls his thin white gown around his ribs,
And curls up in a nook beneath a tree:
No old gisant or buried hoard of coins
Was ever surer in extensity.

Refracted twice from wreaths and leaves above,
His dreams come sharp and lively to his mind
And pierce the diaphane: but what a coil
Of wheels and leaching darkness lies behind…

The sorghum sways, the evening air turns sour
And crackles with a blithe vampiric power,
And all the gentle dead lie down and cower,
For they know it’s Beauharnais’ riding hour.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 05:15:45 2023 No.22860245 Thinking of reciting a poem or two at christmas. To entertain my family. I've gotten pretty big into reading books and poetry this year and I want to inspire my family to do so as well. Any ideas on a good festive poem to recite?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 06:22:18 2023 No.22860382 >>22860245 “The Burning Babe” by Southwell

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 06:45:39 2023 No.22860439 >>22859189 Minimalistic =! ancient. It's whatever, not particularly offensive or anything, but no one could actually mistake even one of these sentences for the work of an ancient writer.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 09:06:05 2023 No.22860738

For the first time in my life I'm reading poetry. Longtime fiction reader but I haven't even read much of that recently; for probably three or four years I've stuck to nonfiction. Now I'm reading poetry and it's hitting me like a truck for some reason. Not really the stuff I ever thought I'd like or understand either: the war poems of Wilfred Owen, TS Eliot, Yeats, and Philip Larkin. Is there any good one volume collection of 20th century English poetry that'd allow me to be exposed to other good poets in a similar style?

>>	Pete Sat Dec 23 12:03:23 2023 No.22861117 >>22860245 https://www.twasthenightbeforechristmas.com/the-poem/

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 17:42:22 2023 No.22861926 >>22847221 Why do you use rhymes at the end and not at the beginning? Makes the poem seem a bit weird and uneven.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 19:32:43 2023 No.22862336 >>22861926 Didn't really consider that it would do that. I agree though it does make it feel weird. I think a better rhyming couplet at the end could work and remove the rest of the rhyme. Thanks :)

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 22:43:05 2023 No.22863227 >>22789001 - rupi kaur

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 01:23:10 2023 No.22863787 In order to write poetry during my last creative boost, I translated poems for about a month first. But then I had a whole psychotic episode. I'm afraid to do the same again

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 01:27:18 2023 No.22863797 >>22863787 Post the poems you wrote before your last psychotic episode

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 01:29:23 2023 No.22863808 >>22863797 Cba right now but they were Seven Poems by a Destroyer of Women. Amp #18 printed them almost a year later

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 01:29:53 2023 No.22863811 >>22863797 Fuck you, btw

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 01:29:57 2023 No.22863812 >>22788827 how about: lets live our lives before sunrise

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 03:17:38 2023 No.22864093

I dreamt hot torment frozen over
And thence upon I found my lovers.
Our torrid bodies bound beleather’d;
Satanic faggot snowflake brothers.

I dreamt hot urine dousing doubts
the steam escapeth’s skyward route.
And rose to heaven and condensed
Tears of childhood coincidence.

Fell back to Hades steaming rain
A salve that healeth any pain
And melt heart-ice with slimy glint
Warm roasted o’er fiery spit.

And bloody maws so lapped my feet
Those hellhounds feral crazed did eat
That icy tears of sin outrageous
Froze the bottom of the rock of ages

So satan cackled while he hit
And cracked his leather faggot whip.
So straining chains of frost-burnt steel,
I learnt that paradife is real.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 09:52:37 2023 No.22865083 So how actually do I read poetry? And where to start.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 11:45:12 2023 No.22865244 >>22863787 >psychotic episode Not real. Go lift and eat healthy, otherwise you'll turn into a tranny.

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 11:47:44 2023 No.22865251

>>22865083
Go read anything with regular rhythm, whether that be Shakespeare's sonnets, Milton's Paradise Lost (blank verse), or get Loebs of Virgil's Aeneid or Homer's epics if you can parse Latin or Greek. Try to pinpoint how the poets use stress across the lines. Iambic pentameter is easy to follow, but you can see how loose rhythm in the Romantics like Keats and Percy Shelley was able to call attention to certain ideas or links or images. Prosodies will help but they are not essential. You should be able to notice how rhythm works very quickly.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 16:55:02 2023 No.22866039 >>22861117 >>22861117 I want to entertain and inspire...not bore and depress.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:01:28 2023 No.22866051 >>22860245 Festive enough for ya? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Quinzaine_for_this_Yule

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:44:41 2023 No.22866160
File: 74 KB, 770x766, 1698626773211040.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

When I go on my morning walk —
To go not anywhere particular,
Just around the block —
I choose either a left turn,
or a right.

From then on, go wherever I might:
Whether misty muzzled morning from
The previous night's rain,
Or clear blue crystal morning with
Not one cloud to be seen,
I enjoy my blue day saunters,
I love those dark and moody haunters
Brooding above me in sky.

An aimless wand'ring morning walk is truly in my eyes,
the present day gloom's remedy or strongest knotted tie.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:46:11 2023 No.22866164 >>22866039 then why are you on 4chan you fucking liar. you're in the substance of boredom and depression, in its ocean, swimming around like a big bored fat depressed liar, entertaining bored depressed people with your responses. LIES.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:47:17 2023 No.22866168 I read Independent People and was very inspired by the number of icelandic mud peasants who knew poetry. How do I start learning to write it myself?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:48:24 2023 No.22866170 >>22866164 A bit labored, anon. Try again.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:49:16 2023 No.22866174 >>22866160 Brooding above me in **the sky.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:50:35 2023 No.22866178 >>22866170 another lie from the mouth of the liar. enjoy hell, where the liars go.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:11:36 2023 No.22866226 >>22866178 >>22866164 I lift heavy and have a 9 inch dick. Please be quiet.

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:25:29 2023 No.22866255
File: 332 KB, 2500x1501, 1672459393687801.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Not so often where it wearies your ears, but sometimes you'll at close of day hear
A bird's dark and evening song so hastily composed,
Yet one which will a violet flower dance, dance its way into your ears,
And quite an image in your inner heart it impresses
Of soft saffron linèd dresses,
Or the hunter mother bird's gallant wide wings all wrapped around her chicks enfolded
And so warm you start to think,
"Oh, if only I a little bird were wrapped enfolded in my mother's knightly birdie wings."

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:32:13 2023 No.22866275 >>22859720 This is brilliant.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:33:03 2023 No.22866278 >>22866226 Gay too huh? Shame

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:55:50 2023 No.22866340 >>22866275 Thanks, I didn't even try when I wrote it up. 10-15 minutes max whilst browsing porn sites. I appreciate your kind words tho

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:56:32 2023 No.22866345 >>22866278 Shutcho bitch ass up, hoe. I'mma show you white boys how we hood ass warrior poets do! no cap

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:57:57 2023 No.22866348 >>22866226 you're right, my dick big brother. i will cease and desist. we must stick together in these trying times.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 19:47:42 2023 No.22866508 >>22866348 Shutcho bitch ass up whi boyyyy

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 20:06:48 2023 No.22866560
File: 19 KB, 305x388, calypso.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22781524
The best poem in the 20th century, inspiring Clark Ashton Smith, Lovecraft, Ligotti, modernists, and postmodernists alike...
https://theotherpages.org/poems/part2/sterling02.html

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 22:14:05 2023 No.22867046 File: 330 KB, 660x1068, file.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22860738 There are quite a few books on contemporary poetry, I got pic related from a bookshop, it's old but a good selection.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 06:11:11 2023 No.22868173 Bump

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 06:12:16 2023 No.22868176 >>22868173 23 days. Rip thread.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 15:03:45 2023 No.22869147 >>22868176 It ain’t dead yet

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 15:04:16 2023 No.22869148 >>22869147 Soon

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 22:52:38 2023 No.22870448 Cosmic Diarrhoea An embryo in an egg, then thus a fowl, a featherless corpse flowing through God’s Bowels. A heave and a ho, a grunt and a groan, a splash and a plop. Such is our lot in life.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 02:15:18 2023 No.22870942

On dark and lonely nights I would stare at the sky
Watching the universe unfold
And getting lost in wonder

A dark sea of shining lights
And pale blue dots
Suspended in sunbeams

And whilst cold winds nipped at my feet
And despair pounded in my chest
My stars stood silent watch

Moments are fleeting and fickle
But my stars have always remained with me
Distant companions on a timeless voyage

But this evening
The night never came
Replaced by an infinite twilight

The moon, alone in its empty sky,
Stared at me, full of sorrow
And I stared back

Nights and years of horror and fear
And dread and terror and loathing
Seared through my heartless chest

And the only darkness I knew
Was the yawning chasm
Chasing my restless soul

They took my precious future,
They took my beloved past
And now they took my stars.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:50:04 2023 No.22871471

>>22870942
The subject matter is very catching but the poetic diction in the beginning of the poem is quite amateur imo.

>>22870448
Eww

>>22866178
not bad

>>22859708
I don't know who this nerd is but pretty good

>>22834533
"Striked" should be "struck" which then also works well with "cut" in the next line

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:55:33 2023 No.22871478 >>22781547 Great rhythm

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:00:59 2023 No.22871494 >>22864093 I liked this

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:04:34 2023 No.22871506 Try again

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 09:38:05 2023 No.22871798

you stifle the little monster who goes la la la la
I am almost in translation
and if the smudge
of a greasy-finger,
a smear campaign against thin windows,
where the trudgers are victims too, or
a prod in the gut
give me away
you will stifle the ousters
you gold-bottom
you slick regarded array

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 14:12:33 2023 No.22872312 File: 50 KB, 780x670, 1695583996646.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22871471 >>22836337 Thanks

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