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/lit/ - Literature

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22765470 No.22765470 [Reply] [Original]

It happened. I shit myself.

>> No.22765483

>>22765470
YOOOOOO THIS NIGGA SHIT ON HIMSELF HAHAHAHA

>> No.22765522
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22765522

>>22765470
I pick my ass. If I'm taking a piss and I can feel some shit in there I'll just pick it out and toss it in the toilet. I started doing this so I wouldn't have to get out of the shower but now I do it more generally. It's way easier to pop out a dingleberry or three and wash your hands than it is to go through the motions that a full seated shit entails.

>> No.22765526

>>22765470
New James Joyce just dropped.

>> No.22765616

>>22765470
Man I remember peddling home from my gfs house in hs, peddling so hard. I ran through the garage and got to the hallway just outside the bathroom and there was no stopping it. So much shit. I was sweating like a pig trying to clean it.

>> No.22765633

I never shit myself before but I had a really close call once. I was never the same since despite it never happening.

>> No.22765712

>>22765633
How have you never shit yourself before? It’s something everyone’s done at least once before.

>> No.22765717
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22765717

I shit myself every day. Even if you started shitting yourself twice a day you would never catch up with me. I've been doing this for years.

>> No.22765724

>>22765633
same

>> No.22765731

Did it get on your balls? I heard that when boys poop themselves it gets on their scroties

>> No.22765745

>>22765731
You're also a boy thoughsoever

>> No.22765749

someone post the "made kaka" book review meme so this thread can be /lit/ related

>> No.22765830
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22765830

>>22765483
>>22765522
>>22765526
>>22765616
>>22765633
>>22765712
>>22765717
>>22765724
>>22765731
>>22765745
>>22765749
I thought about this for a while, why is there no book that brings up the issue of a man today that needs to shit but he's not at home and maybe doesn't have cash to go get something at bar and use their toilet or whatever? Like literally, what would you do in this situation. Nobody will open the door to a stranger, telling about it to a random person on the street is impossible for 99,9% of people because of the embarrassment someone would feel. I think this read will be very insightful and can lead to discussion about many different domains that regulate society as a whole.

>> No.22765838

>>22765830
If you're out and can't find a restroom just shit yourself. It's only a moderate inconvenience. We live in an atomized hell so of the crowd that gawks at you as you waddle your way home there's a 99% chance you'll never meet another one of them. Your pants will be fine after a wash.

>> No.22765840

>>22765830
you can just walk into any establishment with a public restroom and shit and there and leave without buying anything. i do it ALL the time

>> No.22765844
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22765844

>>22765840
Those restrooms are for PATRONS ONLY.

>> No.22765848

>>22765844
if you don't let me shit in your restroom i WILL go shit in your parking lot

>> No.22765868

>>22765470
based

>> No.22765882

>>22765838
just like I was thinking, I made a rule with myself that I will not, under any circumstances, step out of my home unless I shat in the morning.
the thought of coming late to the wagie cagie or being late for an appointment does not disturb me as much as the scene you just described, truly frightening
>>22765840
well they are not in every establishment unless you know exactly where to find them, what if you are in a different city?
I understand why they do it like this because public restrooms quickly become a mess if you don't control who goes there, that's why to keep them clean you need to pay in some way, especially if we are talking about public transport stations etc.

>> No.22765911

>>22765882
by law any place that serves food and has indoor seating needs to have a restroom, so all restaurants are an automatic yes. i have memorized which convenience stores and gas stations typically have restrooms and which don't. see a library? they have a restroom. courthouse? restroom. i will NEVER shit myself

>> No.22765920

>>22765911
>i will NEVER shit myself
i WILL find you and handcuff you to a pipe in a deserted industrial park somewhere until you shit yourself

>> No.22765927

>>22765920
the moment i see you coming to grab me i will drop trow and shit on YOU

>> No.22765943

Based

>> No.22765945

>>22765712
Believe it or not I have never once pissed myself either

>> No.22765948

We're all gonna maek it

>> No.22765952

>>22765945
i haven't shit myself but i've pissed myself

>> No.22765956

>>22765470
Atheists, your response?

>> No.22765971

>>22765838
please dont wash your shitstained pants

>> No.22765974

I pissed myself in school when I was 9 or something.

>> No.22766003
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22766003

>>22765470

>> No.22766005

>>>/tv/192566043

>> No.22766067

>>22765952
likewise

>> No.22766072

>>22765838
it would be pretty embarassing if you bumped into somebody you knew, though

>> No.22766080

>>22765974
really

>> No.22766084

>>22765956
Atheists strangely silent, hmmm how odd. God doesn't real, and yet OP shit his pants, this seems normal to you, atheists?

We're waiting ...

>> No.22766090
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22766090

>>22765470
Are you a fag, OP? Fags often shit themselves because repeatedly being sodomized weakens voluntary muscle control in the bowels and sphincters.

Fat people are also prone to incontinence because of their poor diets, overtaxed digestive systems, and the weight of their adipose tissue exerting excretory pressure on both their bowels and their bladders. Fat women, in particular, frequently experience urinary incontinence, because their adipose tissue directly puts pressure on their bladder when they are sitting (due to the difference in bladder location between men and women).

>> No.22766175

It happened to me once at work. Just a little bit. I managed to contain it in my underwear. I was alone in the break room and I snuck over to the washroom without being seen. Then I went into a stall, removed the shitty undies, wiped my ass really well, and threw the underwear in the trash on my way out, making sure to bury it under paper towel.

>> No.22766322

I thought I shat myself once I smoked a lot of weed and had to take the bus back home, it was a false alarm but it still gave me a bit of a complex