/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.22741461]

What am I doing edition

Previous >>22725914

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
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[Anonymous No.22742080]

>>22741461
>“I suppose, but years working with animals made me skeptic about things going by the book. Things almost never go 'by the book', in my experience.” Barbara continued to talk as she kept checking the screen, writing down on her paper every now and then.

>“Oh yeah, Caroline, you wanted to see the baby foal, right? Come here, take a peek.” Barbara remembered and invited Caroline to see. Caroline was still slightly hesitant with this whole thing, but she did want to take an actual look, even if it was only due to pure curiosity. Barbara held the probe in a single place and Caroline looked at the screen. Sure as day, she could perfectly see the silhouette of a foal on the screen, moving, heart beating; doing everything she had seen foals do in these sonograms in the past, when other mares were pregnant in the ranch.

[Anonymous No.22742228]

>>22741461
I've been working toward finishing my "outline" for the story I'm working on, and I came to the realization that the entire first part of the book is, in itself, a complete character-driven story. It contains all of my initial intentions for the story, and only needs to be expanded in some certain areas to become novel length.

The trouble is that the plot itself has grown, but cannot be continued unless I were to re-write the previously mentioned section of the story, forgoing the character driven elements and some themes to match the speed of what the rest of the story would be. If I were to continue writing with the pace established in the first part, the book would require well over a thousand pages and would kill my chances of publication.

I'm leaning toward just keeping it as a character focused story, and allowing ideas for the character's future to be unused, chalked up to runaway imagination. This is an annoying problem to have.

[Anonymous No.22742237]

Anyone have any comments on the opening of this book?
Would you want to keep reading?

[Anonymous No.22742244]

I can't work without drinking beforehand or taking some benzo. Next year I'll definetly reduce my working hours and focus on writing. I've won a bunch of money with competitions this year. This money is enough to last one year without me worrying about it. If in this one year I can't get a carrer started I'll just off myself or go back to my parent's and vegetate until I die. I can't bear this life anymore. I'll all-in and die trying.

[Anonymous No.22742254]

>>22742237
No. It's an infomercial not a story

[Anonymous No.22742268]

>>22742254
It's the cold open to a detective story. First page of actual plot is this one:

[Anonymous No.22742273]

>>22742080
>Barbara remembered and invited Caroline to see.
This is unnecessary, in my opinion.
>Caroline was still slightly hesitant with this whole thing, but she did want to take an actual look, even if it was only due to pure curiosity.
I think you can do better with the exposition here than plainly telling us her emotions. What about her demeanor could showcase her hesitance? Is she wrestling with the curiosity because of some previously established motivation? Get creative with how you tell us these things.
>Barbara held the probe in a single place and Caroline looked at the screen. Sure as day, she could perfectly see the silhouette of a foal on the screen, moving, heart beating; doing everything she had seen foals do in these sonograms in the past, when other mares were pregnant in the ranch
Barbara held the probe in place as Caroline looked at the monitor. Displayed before them was the unmistakable silhouette of a foal--same as the countless others she'd seen on the ranch.

In the last example you are over-using the character assignment of She, routing your narration through the character. It may be your intention to do so, and that's valid, but it can take away from the readers interpretation by placing a character in-between the scene you are creating and the reader's mind. Don't be afraid to simply state what is going on.

[Anonymous No.22742274]

>>22742237
That's a lot of pseudo-intellectual posturing over a "water is wet" tier platitude, and I can't tell what you actually want to say with any of this. A snarky infodump isn't a very good opener. I would recommend a more focused, character-driven approach.

[Anonymous No.22742296]

>>22742268
This also reads like an infomercial and not a story. It's just exposition up the ass.

[Anonymous No.22742299]

>>22742268
Are you writing about the daily life of a space ship?

[Anonymous No.22742309]

>>22742237
You open with these hypotheticals to establish the scope of what I can only assume is the distance to be traveled at some point by the characters.

Don't do this. It makes your narration appear weak. Make clear and descriptive declarations to your reader. You can make the world as large or small as you want, but be clear with what you are saying.

[Anonymous No.22742322]

>>22742296
>>22742299

Its about a detective arriving on a distant space station, and I thought the ambience was important to establish its a) like an airport despite being a farflung spaceport and b) the book isn't that serious in tone/there's a bit of humour

Main character comes in next page

[Anonymous No.22742333]

>>22742309
Characters are already there, the idea was to set the scene with just how far out it was, and to provide a little light hearted commentary on one of the major themes of the book, which is authority and order. And discuss station security being dangerous etc

[Anonymous No.22742357]

>>22742274
>>22742296
>>22742309
>>22742299

Probably also should have lead with its a loose sci-fi comedy but I dunno if that changes perspectives

[Anonymous No.22742366]

>>22742333
Nice trips.

The opening does not work well as is. Instead of grounding the reader in a well-defined scene, you are providing a sense of ambivalence that leaves the reader without anything to grab onto.

The further into the story you introduce the main character(s), the harder it is to maintain interest. It can be done, but the reason it is hard to pull off is because, again, you are leaving the reader without much to attach to. The reader has an expectation and you are invalidating that.

I recommend spending a lot of time dissecting story composition as you read, and really reflect on the composition of your own writing. This can be a very difficult aspect of fiction to learn, but I think if you spend more time paying attention to composition it will help with the issues you have here.

[Anonymous No.22742375]

>>22742322
Put the MC on the first page then have him interact with leaving a space ship.

Joe unbuckled his belt. He's been sitting for the past eight hours on the Tiberium coming from Hornyoad. It was a peaceful flight through space, some turbulence, but not as shaky as the night before when he took not one, but three Silials. Their gooey flesh and moist tentacles were something else. Well worth the three earts it took for some fond memories. Alas, all fun must end.

Joe doubled checked his boarding pass and passport. He'll have to return to reality soon, another eight hours behind a cubicle inputting data and wearing a mask of fulfillment while hearing his manager grumble about his teenage daughter dating a guy he disapproved of. It wasn't because the guy was older his manager told Joe, but because he was a Hurkltle: slimy blob like personalities known for their natural abilities to turn any part of their body into workable appendages. Whether it's a hand, foot, or something else entirely, it was all to the Hurkltle's imagination.

[Anonymous No.22742470]

>>22742375
Read my passage I wrote for you. It does some things on the fly.
1. Establishes the MC and his point of view
2. We learn it's a space story
3. He's a horny bastard that goes after alien hookers
4. We also learn he works in a cubicle and an every day salaryman
5. We also know he hates his job
6. There's a vast array of species living in the world Joe lives in with some brief intro.

we established the MC, tone, and the setting of the story in a few sentences

[Anonymous No.22742474]

>>22741461
If I just keep writing for decades I’ll eventually make a million dollars right

[Anonymous No.22742502]

>>22742366
>>22742309
>>22742296
>>22742274
Ty for the comments, all duly noted

>>22742470
>>22742375
Probably sounds like massive cope, but the slow walk in was intentional. Other stuff I've written is more traditional like that, but I wanted to try and ape an older style with this one.
Good to get some anonymous feedback and throughts regardless, so thanks all the same

[Anonymous No.22742616]

>>22742273
>Barbara remembered and invited Caroline to see.
>This is unnecessary, in my opinion.
There was a previous part where both characters talked about Barbara showing her the screen.

>Caroline was still slightly hesitant with this whole thing, but she did want to take an actual look, even if it was only due to pure curiosity.
>I think you can do better with the exposition here than plainly telling us her emotions. What about her demeanor could showcase her hesitance? Is she wrestling with the curiosity because of some previously established motivation? Get creative with how you tell us these things.
At this point in the story, she already struggled with the reality of the situation and is basically accepting of what's happening. It's just her last shred of hesitancy.
>Barbara held the probe in a single place and Caroline looked at the screen. Sure as day, she could perfectly see the silhouette of a foal on the screen, moving, heart beating; doing everything she had seen foals do in these sonograms in the past, when other mares were pregnant in the ranch
>Barbara held the probe in place as Caroline looked at the monitor. Displayed before them was the unmistakable silhouette of a foal--same as the countless others she'd seen on the ranch.
It's a woman that is pregnant with the baby foal, so calling attention to those details as to showcase how real the situation finally is to the character. The final proof that she needed to see.

>In the last example you are over-using the character assignment of She, routing your narration through the character. It may be your intention to do so, and that's valid, but it can take away from the readers interpretation by placing a character in-between the scene you are creating and the reader's mind. Don't be afraid to simply state what is going on.
There's a third character, the one actually being probed in the scene. All three characters in the scene are female, so I try to specify who's is talking or being referenced when I can.

Thanks for the pointers.

[Anonymous No.22742666]

Some crab on /ic/ sent me here just so you guys could "teach me how to actually write". Mind if yo give this draft a check?

>In any other night, with any other person, he would've disposed his date from roughly half of her clothing by the time the elevator opened, he would've run his hands all across her soft body, as well eat her one savage kiss at a time. However, this date was like none other, so much -in fact- that he left the elevator cracking jokes and delightfully chatting with his date, instead of ripping her dress open and devouring her with the most lascivious kisses ever given, not even touching her more than just a shoulder hug. No, he was too busy listening to her finding beauty in the mundanities of the city, too busy remembering the fun moments of that evening, he was too busy admiring the sunshine of a date he had besides him. A girl next door (or next town over, rather), one that managed to unearth a feeling he thought he had lost forever: Love.

>They met with the silent atmosphere of his studio, the very last room of this mighty business tower he owned. He was familiar to the deafning silence of his place during nighttime. At times he focused on the lack of life of the late night studio, it made him feel lonely, even hollow; all the wealth a man could ask for and maybe more, influence to move people to his command, but most importantly, a harem of some of the hottest women of the city that would do anything to be their queens. But what is all that worth when he felt hollow? Women that are as hot as they are shallow, seeking him solely for his wealth and power, men that would turn their backs on him should he had no influence, and he was getting too old for this circus to realize money wasnt going to make it any better. He pondered about these thoughts as he crossed the door, it was a routine, something he was accustomed to. However, his routine was cut short almost immediately, for he saw a bit of life waltzing around the dark studio on a beautiful blue dress, it was her. He couldnt have focused on the loneliness even if he wanted to, all his attention was on the vibrant blondie waltzing like a joyful little girl, beeming with energy and enjoying herself. He couldnt help but smile, not only at the idea that she looked gorgeous, but also because he knew she didnt spend the evening, holding the same energy and joy, solely for his money, or his influence, she did it because she just wanted to be with him.

[Anonymous No.22742701]

>>22742666
Hail Santa

I recommend removing all of the big words. They are out of place and detract from the story. It reads like you used a thesaurus and they fuck up the pacing of the sentences. It reads like a rough first draft. I'm sure if you let it sit for two months and come back to it you can edit it into something more complete.

[Anonymous No.22742710]

>>22742666
>In any other night
On any other night
>he would've disposed his date
he would have relieved his date

Run on sentences, tense mixing, misuse of em dash and commas, and cringy 50 shades ripoff.
My verdict is that you should quit writing. Or at least start reading.

[Anonymous No.22742748]

>>22742701
Are they really that big? I will admit some of those were a bit too much, but I didnt think it was going to be that intrusive to the narrative, I just dont want to get the whole thing to become so straightforward.
>I'm sure if you let it sit for two months and come back to it you can edit it into something more complete.
Funny, cause that's what I do most of the time. This is technically this story's second draft.
>>22742710
>Run on sentences, tense mixing, misuse of em dash and commas
Could you explain to an ESL the first two? I feel like an idiot for not knowing what you're talking about, but you gotta start somewhere.
>and cringy 50 shades ripoff.
Excuse me, what? Never read nor watched some of that nonsense, how did I manage to rip that one off???
>My verdict is that you should quit writing.
I will not, instead I'll git gud, but thanks for the suggestion.
>Or at least start reading.
That's fair.

[Anonymous No.22742763]

>>22742748
Your sentences go on forever without knowing how sentences are best put together.
And you use two different tenses (google the word if you don't know it) in the same paragraph.
Oh and don't listen to the other anon, vocabulary is a consideration way beyond your current skill level.

[Anonymous No.22742769]

>>22742748
>Are they really that big?
It's not so much that they are that big but that they fuck up the flow. They aren't placed in rhythm and it just sounds crunchy.

>most lascivious kisses ever given
Is that specific adjective really necessary here? I don't think so, but you may come to a different conclusion.

[Anonymous No.22742840]

>>22742701
>big words
Other than 'lascivious' there aren't any.

[Anonymous No.22742855]

>>22742840
If it's over three letters I consider it a big word.

[Anonymous No.22743505]

Anyone else feel they have a low gas tank when writing? Not laziness but in terms of idea quality. I'm really good in the morning, but then about an hour or two in it feels like I run out of energy until I wake up the next morning.

Any fixes?

[Anonymous No.22743579]

Planning to write a book inspired by the partisan movements in Eastern Europe during WW II. Only that the book will be about unnamed country in unnamed time where young man is frustrated by the dictatorship
government which, according to him, is oppressing the people. After some clashes with the authorities he runs away and joins a “freedom fighters” division that is fighting guerilla warfare against the regime. Despite his initial enthusiasm he slowly realizes that the people in the unit are not the brave freedom fighters he thought them to be, but just people who are seeking to replace the oppressive dictatorship with their own, that the leaders of the unit are as cruel and egoistic as the enemy that they are fighting against. The protagonist will be forced to perform cruelties against his wishes and slowly drift into desperation and depression at first and indifference after as the unit around him is falling apart, thorn by the constant fights with the government forces, horrible weather, hunger and the internal struggles and paranoia of the unit leaders. In the end the unit will be eradicated but he and a few of his comrades will manage to escape and hide in a nearby village in a house of some family. People in his group will do unspeakable cruelties to the family in which house they are hiding while the protagonist watches passively. In the end he will decide to kill the remaining people from his group and commit suicide by opening fire against nearby army unit, forcing them to kill him.
What do you think? Also, I write much better in my native language.

[Anonymous No.22743754]

>>22743579
Sounds cool to me.

[Anonymous No.22743887]

>>22743505
No, you write (drunk) in the evening and edit in the morning. Ancient Chinese secret.

[Anonymous No.22744211]

Gardner is the greatest writer /wg/ has ever and will ever produce, despite being black.

[Anonymous No.22744267]

I just realised that I actually have the skillset of a playwright and not a writer. I don't even like theatre. Life is so cruel bros...

[Anonymous No.22744383]

>>22744267
Maybe build the skills you want? Don't be scared.

[Anonymous No.22744440]

>Dude, it's X... stop taking it so serio-

Shut the fuck up. If you engage in genre fiction with this mindset, you are looking at it from an inherently dishonest and surface level perspective. If you are a writer, you MUST take your setting and characters completely seriously, otherwise your audience has no reason to invest in anything about your work. If you don't take it seriously, then why should the audience?

[Anonymous No.22744447]

>>22744440
While this is true, there is only one thing worse than a pedant, and that's a pedant who's wrong.

[Anonymous No.22744454]

>>22744440
I think "taking it seriously" isn't as clear as people think. You can make something off-color and casual while still taking it "seriously" as something you crafted and make something "seriousc superficially while not giving a shit about it.

I think it's more about knowing what you want to get from what you are making and have the author's expectations meet the intenses audience's expectations.

[Anonymous No.22744470]

>>22744267
>spend all my time writing screenplays dreaming of directing movies
>about to get a book published
*profound sigh*

[Anonymous No.22744472]

>>22744211
You're supposed to write it as Black now, chud

[Anonymous No.22744481]

>>22736914
I recommend you start with The Screenwriter's Bible because it's a good overview of everything, from writing the script to selling it.
But that other anon is right, Story is the best book

[Anonymous No.22744489]

how does this flow?
>context
you don't need to know

[Anonymous No.22744624]

>>22742244
Checked and good on you for going for it.

[Anonymous No.22744639]

>>22744489
absolute mess of an introduction,
you're trying to do way too much in your first few paragraphs, and none of it is being done well.
could be cool though

i can go into more detail if you'd like

[Anonymous No.22744641]

>>22744639
tell me about after the line break

[Anonymous No.22744649]

>>22744489
Immediately, I see too much exposition. You want to introduce the world through a relatable personal situation, not a history lesson.
Also
>Brown eyes opened to witness
This is bad.
>Their owner rose
This is bad too.
>With a yawn, he ventured out into his future.
This is awful.
As for the next part.
>Two feet away, an illuminated one
This sounds like a person with progressive views, not an object. You make the same mistakes.

Your prose is full of really bad habits. The action is not snappy enough.
And just to prove your bad habits go onto the end.
>The victor expelled
Don't call people 'the victor', that is more awfulness. Use names or identifiers.

[Anonymous No.22744651]

>>22744649
>This sounds like a person with progressive views, not an object. You make the same mistakes.
what
>Your prose is full of really bad habits. The action is not snappy enough.
there we go

[Anonymous No.22744663]

>>22744641
my thoughts are similar to,
>>22744649

i would just worry about finishing it.

[Anonymous No.22744718]

>>22744649
>>22744663
To actually give context, I'm writing this for the homies: they're familiar with everything. I'm stupidly making the rookie mistake of keeping the protagonist's name unknown at the beginning so I can surprise them later.
if you know, you know

[Anonymous No.22744736]

>>22744718
Your usage of descriptors should be 'he', 'the [anonymous descriptor]' or something similar. It should never be a scattered collection of identifiers.
Example: The Cowboy. If you identify someone as 'the Cowboy', then people will know even if his identity is unknown. Doesn't matter who you write it for.

[Anonymous No.22744738]

>>22744736
that also has the side-effect of being really retarded

[Anonymous No.22744742]

>meeting a /wg/ user at the writer's con

[Anonymous No.22744745]

>>22744742
QRD?

[Anonymous No.22744746]

>>22744745
That's what faces we're gonna make

[Anonymous No.22744748]

>>22744746
aww
i thought you had an actual story

[Anonymous No.22744752]

>>22744748
It's being written

[Anonymous No.22745163]

>>22744472
Sorry. Is this better?
“Gardner be da finna best kang do come from /wg/, yo, and he be a brutha.”
I really don’t know nigger speak all that well.

[Anonymous No.22745382]

Have any RR anons tried releasing in the morning? I'm told that it's pretty common for people to read on their phones during breakfast or while commuting.
While there is probably less agregate engagement in the mornings as compared to peak hours, I assume there is also less competiton for that engagement.
Mornoing releases might be a better way to get seen.

[Anonymous No.22745407]

>>22745382
>Have any RR anons tried releasing in the morning?
Everyone is releasing in the morning of some time zone.

[Anonymous No.22745431]

>>22745407
I'm not really worried about catering to Kazakhs and Indians.

[Anonymous No.22745547]

>>22745382
I've tried pretty much every hour possible, and there are so many shitters posting their trash on that garbage fire website, you're booted out of the front page in a matter of seconds any time of day.

[Anonymous No.22745824]

Trying to get into writing because I literally have nothing better to do. Is it better to edit as you go or complete the entire than edit?

[Anonymous No.22745825]

>>22745824
>*complete the entire draft then edit?
Whoops

[Anonymous No.22745831]

>>22745824
>Is it better to
Yes*

*unless it doesn't work for you, and only you know that

Welcome to writing. Leave your preconceptions at the door, please. Don't mind the "experts." If they had any real expertise, we'd know them for their creative writing instead of their writing about writing.

[Anonymous No.22745846]

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/76148/revenge-of-the-slop-king-litrpg-cheat-power-harem

Chapter 30 of the /wg/ anathema has dropped.
The sleeping ancient evil anon now has no excuse, and must awaken.

[Anonymous No.22745858]

>>22744649
It's science fiction. It's not supposed to be good. I mean this unironically. Good science fiction is written with the medium down to such a low level that you're basically just writing a slightly more descriptive screenplay.

[Anonymous No.22745876]

>>22745382
Slop Drop™ happens at every 5:00 and 15:30 GMT time. There might be something to it because it's my most popular series.

Also, a much less sloppy series has dropped. Unfortunately, it's just 1001 Nights with fox tails. Unlike Slop King it will drop irregularly.

[Anonymous No.22745878]

>>22745858
I'm not sure what you mean by 'low level'. Science-fiction can be good even if it doesn't push any literary boundaries, most books don't.
And what you say isn't even absolutely or reasonably true. John Wyndham is good enough to be considered among the best literary works.

[Anonymous No.22745899]

>>22745831
Okay, I guess. Normally I finish a paragraph, edit it, then continue. Next time I’ll try writing everything, then editing.

[Anonymous No.22745961]

>>22745899
you'll lose way too much time doing that, but don't wait until the end if you're writing a novel. it's suggested that you edit in parts. everyone has their own process though

[Anonymous No.22746018]

>>22745961
I have no ambitions for novel, just short stories for now. I tried my hand at poetry too, but that didn’t work out.

[Anonymous No.22746093]

>>22741461
I need some advice because I just realised how ungodly shitty my narration is

Ok so my story is a kind of sci fi-esque anti romance tale about a guy who lost his wife (the only thing he ever loved genuinely, and one of the few people who cares for him) and now he throws every aspect of his life in the ground trying to use his high tier programming skills into "remaking" an AI that can talk and act like his deceased wife, he cant, he can only make vile and surface level wish fulfiment cartoony versions of his wife, who are just retarded surface level copies he dismisses, he gets fired from his job, fights with his family and friends, denies an actual romance from a woman who was the very last person to put up with this shitshow until he ends the story alone sitting in his own dogshit apartment filled with mechanic parts, papers and a wish fulfiment robot wife thats nothing but memories he will never have again

However I dont know how to piece this whole thing together, im good at writing feelings and interactions and narrating (well, depends, im terrible with objective descriptions so my whole thing is emotional driven narrator that comments on how the others feel very subjectivly), I cant come up with a plot or what they should even do really, I have the synopsis I have everythig nailed down I just have no clue what to do with the characters aside from "they met at the office" and "they went to a bar" and nothing but talking nonsense for 20 pages

Symbolism is bad too, im just changing a lot pf details on the thing after I realised seagulls arent good or compelling symbolism (seagulls live off trash and mud huts but they used to be associated with beautiful beaches before humans fucked it up with cities), the first 2 or so pages were me explaining im vivid detail the seagull symbolism followed by the mc complaining a seagull shat on his suit

Btw if you have any ideas or critiques im open since I never talk about writing IRL

[Anonymous No.22746107]

>>22746093
Honestly anon I have no idea what you're trying to ask but it sounds like you have a compelling and personally meaningful vision of the story you want to tell, so I would advise you this - make listening to your heart your number one priority. As for the actual content, idk. More socially oriented stories don't need anything special to happen for them to keep going. This is basically a psychological/social novel, so you'll be writing about psychological and social events, not about great struggles or conflicts or what have you.

[Anonymous No.22746634]

i need a writing routine. i have written several drafts of an unfinished novel. i want to get it published but i need to do a full rewrite on it and i am about half way through the re-outlining process. i have a first draft of another novel i've written but i know that will need more extensive rewrites. additionally, i am about 2 chapters into the first draft of a novel i just started that i am most excited about. my life is very chaotic right now and i have trouble finding the mental energy to write at the moment. can someone please suggest some sort of writing routine or schedule that would allow me to be most effective at writing and finishing these projects, please? thank you.

[Anonymous No.22746726]

Should I be sending query letters to both big and small agents?
I can't see why not try the big agents, but is there a thing such as "too small"?

[Anonymous No.22746795]

>>22746726
Do you sort them by height or weight?

[Anonymous No.22746928]

>>22746795
By how many (successful) authors they've worked with.

[Anonymous No.22747152]

Fuck off, Neil, you cocksucking faggot!

[Anonymous No.22747521]

>>22746634

You have to get up at 3 or 4am to do it, every day. And you should finish the novels you've already written before undertaking a new one.

[Anonymous No.22747853]

dear /wg/,
please give prompt

[Anonymous No.22747869]

>>22747853
A man starts to notice things changing around him and no one else seems to be aware of it. People he knew are replaced, events changed and places different, without any clear sign why. Trying to find out what is happening, he discovers that there is one name that keeps popping up around these changes: a person from his past he'd long forgotten about.

[Anonymous No.22747890]

>>22747869
merci

[Anonymous No.22748009]

>>22747521
I go to bed at 1am how tf do I wake up at 3am

[Anonymous No.22748183]

>>22748009
Get your sleep schedule in check.
Stop jerking off. It wastes a ton of time.
Do not make excuses for not writing. Write.

Literally as long as you are not physically passing out from exhaustion and have more pressing matters, write.

[Anonymous No.22748193]

>>22741461
Im supposed to send my agent a re-edit of my new novel and progress is going so slow its depressing. I can only get through 1 chapter at a time before feeling fatigued and just go and waste my time doing something else. I feel like fucking shit

[Anonymous No.22748221]

i am new to writing and need to practice, which might mean i have to come with cool ideas i care about, only to condemn them to shit writing. i also find that i'm an outliner, so this process is even worse. ANYWAY,

anyone do writing exercises? what works for (you)?
and/or how do you get warmed up and get words on the page?

[Anonymous No.22748258]

>>22748221
>what works for (you)?
I write.
>and/or how do you get warmed up and get words on the page?
I write.

I don't understand the question. Just take the idea you had for a thing, open up a text editor and start clacking away.

[Anonymous No.22748286]

>>22748258
do you outline?

[Anonymous No.22748505]

'm wondering how to make a villain feel more personal and make audience engaged:
The villain is the right hand assassin of a self righteous paladin who's preparing for a coup. This man has been training orphans into vicious assassins for the conspiracy as sleeper agents, adventurers with mix of conditioning and magic.
Currently the Human Kingdom's capitol is rife with killing as a mysterious assassin is killing people at random (this assassin is a former elven child, who has escaped his conditioning and is killing all the conspirators that he knows of)
The problem is that the main character has no real beef with the main character who's being blackmailed into seeking out this killer, which would invertedly put him on the trajectory of this conflict.
Initially I thought of just letting the character be a professional bad guy, but I feel as if he needs to have more connection to the main cast.
I have the following scenes with him:
1.Ball- the villain is being a dick to the main character
2.Alley fight- chaotic 1v1v1 where the villain injures the main character
3.Framing- the villain frames the main character for a murder of a merchant he was going to interrogate
4. Home invasion- the villain invades the main characters home and threatens his loved ones to kill him

Now reading that- the villain's essentially a Bond villain henchman.

Here I had an idea- the mc loves his maid, who's been with him since childhood and what if the part of this scheme would be to infiltrate households with sleeper agents ready to act on command and this would explain more the variety in the other assassins victims. It would also give the feeling of "Alright, this is really fucking personal now" for the future content, where a necromancer unleashes a plague and the paladin slowly gains more and more power as the royalty silently watches

[Anonymous No.22748532]

>>22748505
The palading is clearly the villain and the assassin sounds like a hero and your main character is just ???

[Anonymous No.22748533]

>>22748221
exercises work for me to get me into the writing zone - I might try some flash fiction or google around for a writing prompt. Keep it to under 500 words or something doable. They're great at your level but over time they can become procrastination from your main project. The foolproof way of finishing and getting better is to get into a solid writing routine where you write daily and eventually you will improve.
>only to condemn them to shit writing
This is normal. It gets easier but remove the concept of 'getting it right the first time' from your head. It rarely happens. Editing is just as important as writing.

[Anonymous No.22748586]

>>22748532
He's just a guy, who's in the middle of it, treating it as another job until it gets personal by the end of it.
I wanted to know if the right hand man is villainous and personal enough for the main character to face and foreshadow the Paladin clearly enough so that the elven assassin (sidekick) and the main character have a reason to band together against the decades long conspiracy looming over the Kingdom.
So I ask again, how to make the evil assassin make the main character more personally involved, rather than just blackmail from powers that be?

[Anonymous No.22748634]

>>22748533
right, yea. all i've been doing so far is flash fiction, and while it is helping, it does still feel like procrastination. pretty much what inspired my first post.
good to hear that this is more or less standard for getting started.
i think i have a plan now: flash fiction for another week, maybe less, while i plan my first short story.
thanks

[Anonymous No.22748664]

>>22748586
Your only option is to make the MC actually lose something critical, to the point that he has no choice but to get involved. Being blackmailed is a pathetic motivation.

[Anonymous No.22748692]

>>22748634
no problem, good luck anon

[Anonymous No.22748745]

>>22748664
>being blackmailed is a pathetic motivation
how so? If the information being released would cause your death, you'd be pretty motivated to at the very least stall before you can figure a way out

[Anonymous No.22748762]

>>22748745
Maybe it'd seem like a big deal to you personally, but I'm not interested to read about it happening to somebody else. You have to realize the difference between what's intense irl and what works as a story.

[Anonymous No.22748776]

>>22748762
Well, anon, thank you for your input regardless. I won't attempt to convince you that it totally works based on x details.

[Anonymous No.22748783]

>get idea
>plan idea
>start writing
>halfway through plan, realise idea is shit
>that original spark that made me want to write it is gone
>have new idea
>repeat
how to break this stupid habit? I'm in no shortage of ideas but once I start writing them they lose their shine. I get lost at the stage where I need to go back to my outline to change things because I struggle to keep things cohesive. any help, please

[Anonymous No.22748786]

>>22748783
I've got your back bro. Beaming "don't lose interest" ultrawaves directly into your brain now

[Anonymous No.22748797]

>>22748786
Please share some with me as well

[Anonymous No.22748801]

>>22741461
How do I turn a dream with a relatively wild cartoon-like plot into a legitimate developed story?

[Anonymous No.22748820]

>>22748801
Write it down first?

[Anonymous No.22748825]

>>22748820
Thanks nigger I hadnt though of that

[Anonymous No.22748827]

>>22748786
thank you friend, I am trying

[Anonymous No.22748828]

>start writing on my pc with some app
>feels so sterile and weird to me
>restart writing in notebook
>love the tactile feedback of physically writing with a pencil, but it feels like my thoughts are being shoved through a narrow channel due to the massively reduced speed
>can barely even read my own handwriting if I'm going fast to try and keep up
This shit wasn't nearly as hard like 9 years ago in college. Maybe my brain is just fried by engaging with our information-dense world where I'm bombarded with multiple media channels possibly.

[Anonymous No.22748836]

>>22748825
You're welcome, my fellow melanin rich acquaintance descended from simians.
In all honesty you have to a develop the plot/premise baseline and go from there. I don't know how I can help you since I know next to nothing.

[Anonymous No.22748844]

>>22748836
The dream basically went like this
>Bad thing is going to cause a cataclysm
>Dont worry there is a spaceship
>Actors (like movie actors) steal the spaceship
>NOT Elon Musk/Dr. Eggman finds a way to get off the planet along with a bunch of other people
>Brief segment where watch continental drift at an accelerated rate from space
>Pissed and mad at spaceship thieves
>Trick them into opening the spaceship door on the moon
>Rush in and take it back
>I wake up

[Anonymous No.22748851]

The biggest issue I have when sitting down to write is that there are ideas and scenarios I want to explore, but I know things I think are cool and want to explore have real and readily available information already out there. I always find myself lost in the weeds of technical accuracy because I'm terrified that getting some obvious thing wrong will completely ruin whatever I'm writing. It just feels like a massive sap on my creative energy because I don't want every writing session to be a research session.

[Anonymous No.22748857]

>>22748851
Hold on I got a meme for you

[Anonymous No.22748860]

>>22748851
>>22748857
The secret is to stop giving a shit and not being a whiny faggot, If youre so scared of it read a book and get learned dumbnigger

[Anonymous No.22748866]

>>22748860
Thanks, anon. I never thought about just not feeling the way I do. I'll try again.

[Anonymous No.22748867]

>>22748844
its almost plot for 2012 the movie, only slightly wackier.
You need to basically make it a coherent plot. Use ai for all I care as you have enough plot points to go off on.
Start with characters and their motivations for doing the things they do and so on.

I had a crazier dream, where I'm fighting Baba Yaga on a Blimp with a shovel as it is plummeting into Chernobyl ruins, but that's only a single cool scene.

[Anonymous No.22748874]

>>22748867
>>22748844
fucking dream SUCKS, just do something else already
i dont want to see another post about your disgusting shit idea again

[Anonymous No.22748882]

>>22748867
>I had a crazier dream, where I'm fighting Baba Yaga on a Blimp with a shovel as it is plummeting into Chernobyl ruins
Thats pretty fucking awesome. I had a dream once where this hot magician wizard lady made us a paper airplane while we were falling from the sky and we did a dogfight with it against real planes while I stared at her ass.
The Chernobyl thing could work though, its not horrible.

[Anonymous No.22748884]

and i mean that in a constructive way. im just looking out

[Anonymous No.22748886]

>>22748874
>>22748884
>.t sleeplet
sometimes I skip a night or two to build up dreams for when I do go to bed

[Anonymous No.22748895]

>>22748860
I have nothing of value to add to your conversation, but here is a masterwork of worldbuilding that I legitimately use to keep track of everything in my story.

[Anonymous No.22748901]

>>22748895
ive never been to africa

[Anonymous No.22748908]

>>22748901
Obama, is that you?

[Anonymous No.22748909]

>>22748895
What's it called- Worldstralia?

[Anonymous No.22748916]

About to finish the first draft of a novel. Besides plot holes and incongruences, what should I focus on when editing?

[Anonymous No.22748934]

>>22748908
No this aint me nigga

[Anonymous No.22749047]

>>22748916
does every scene move the plot forward or develop a character?

[Anonymous No.22749254]

>>22748916
Forget everything you know about the story and read it like a reader would. Does the text still give the same impression you had when you wrote it?

For example, when you're writing a story, it might be clear to you that a house the MC sees by the road is red. You might not be conscious of it, but that blazing red color gives a sense of alarm and tension to the scene in your mind. But in the actual text, it could be that the color of the house is never mentioned. Maybe you didn't think it was important, the MC has no business in that particular house. But you can't help but feel the scene doesn't read the way you wanted, like something's missing...

But well, that's an advanced tip. The story being readable and logically consistent is already challenge enough for most writers.

[Anonymous No.22749289]

It’s Thanksgiving in America.

[Anonymous No.22749294]

>>22749289
what is the correct way of giving a thanksgiving greeting to the hot american girl at my work so I can get in her pants?

[Anonymous No.22749301]

>>22749254
A fresh look is the main reason having someone else comment is invaluable.

[Anonymous No.22749303]

>>22741461
weird question but are there any free alternatives to office? other than open office, that is

[Anonymous No.22749349]

>>22749303
>any free alternatives to office
>other than the free alternative to office

[Anonymous No.22749363]

>>22749294
“Hey, baby, Happy Thanksgiving. Now let me gobble your turkey then cover your pumpkin pies with whipped cream.”
Girls like it when you turn a double entendre into a single one. Shows class.

[Anonymous No.22749366]

>>22748286
Of course not, all my schizophrenia is locked in my head.

[Anonymous No.22749369]

>>22749363
Done, hopefully she replies! Thanks anon :) she told one of our colleagues she thinks I'm a bit creepy so hopefully this will change her mind about me heh

[Anonymous No.22749375]

>>22749369
Worry not, "Creepy" is a term of endearment in the United States.

[Anonymous No.22749433]

>>22749375
she told me I'm 'disgusting' and will be 'reporting me immediately'. Is this good?

[Anonymous No.22749441]

>>22749433
If it was before you raped her, you're good. If it was after, just do it again.

[Anonymous No.22749450]

>>22749441
should I wait until tomorrow to rape her or try and find where she lives and do it now?

[Anonymous No.22749462]

>>22749450
Just be yourself and it'll turn out great.

[Anonymous No.22749675]

>>22746726
Excuse me, let me try that again:
When I search for "thriller novel agents" on Google, hundreds of agents show up on the first results. But when I search for their backgrounds, their clients usually have no more than 5 thousand~ books sold over the years.
Should I send query letters to these agents, even then?

[Anonymous No.22749781]

“Devoted—it is a shame many others cannot share your piety—and faith.”

“If I may ask…” I ate a piece of meat. “What motivates your devotion?”

“My devotion is to the Lord. He has provided all that we needed. Every carnal pleasure, stimuli, and substance has been in abundance, and it is all from him. When we need to eat; we merely ask, when we need entertainment; it is provided in numerous forms, when we need love; it is found. The Lord deserves our faith but we do not deserve his blessing. So I am to serve the lord to ensure the paradise he provided to us remains so. It’s my passion and my reason to live,” Father John said.

“Medicine, fornication, and aesthetics…,” I took a deep breath, “surely the Lord provided more for us than external stimulation. Watching advertisements, taking elixirs, and indulging in physical pleasure, yet, none seem to be happier. Men and women live their days in perpetual loneliness. I’ve seen it. It is an emptiness.”

“An emptiness? What more would a person need when our Lord provides all that we may desire?”

“I do not know, but my eyes guided me towards seeking an answer to the masses that would consume pleasures that do not heal their bodies. A strange punishment providing a feeling of temporary relief from their sufferings, but never a cure.”

“You have much to learn. Let us take the example of my previous curate. I believe his name was Percy—it escapes me for now, but nonetheless, he came before me spouting all sorts of divine inspiration, but I am not a desperate fool looking to simply fill ranks. Percy had no true piety to the Lord. I’ve seen my share of men who sought coin, refuge, and even an escape to a life of leisure from their daily struggles. To take advantage of the Lord’s house in false devotion for worldly gains can be interpreted as deceit—a sinful behavior.” Father John took a sip of water from his cup. “He was a boy sent by his parents to find shelter and steal food here. To be tempted by such desires was unbecoming to one’s path in becoming a Father. Shame. Percy meant well, just, not well in the right areas. Their lies brought them misfortune and denial for salvation. Many are like him. Instead of embracing the gifts and fortunes the Lord provided, they stray away from His offerings.”

“What moral wrong has been committed? Percy wished to feed his family.”

“By not embracing the Lord’s plans. Suffering may be interpreted as a sign of penance and trial, yet, young Percy chose to ignore such divinity.”


Is the conversation too awkward?

[Anonymous No.22749791]

>>22749781
>When we need to eat; we merely ask, when we need entertainment; it is provided in numerous forms, when we need love; it is found.
Your semicolon and colons are the wrong way around.

The conversation itself is unremarkable. I guess it could flow better but I'm not invested enough to care that it is.

[Anonymous No.22749833]

>>22742237
The text is typed, not written with pen and paper. Computer typing and pen/pencil and paper differ. I think you'd write differently by manuscripting. The fact that you posted assumingly your work to this forum is indicative of your willingness to make it.

I seemed to not know the difference between universe and omniverse: I thought that the universe entailed everything combined (uni) already, As such, there are no other universes to compare this particular universe to. Maybe that's just my local vocabulary.

[Anonymous No.22750020]

>>22741461
7 days of nanowrimo left and I've written 41,854 words. I can do this. Weekend's coming up, I can do it!

[Anonymous No.22750160]

I can't fucking do this anymore.

(I haven't even started)

[Anonymous No.22750309]

>>22750160
Yes you can. Look at F Gardner. He basically became famous just because of /lit/

[Anonymous No.22750366]

>>22749349
Yes, other than the free alternative to office.

[Anonymous No.22750388]

>>22750160
Wow, he's literally me.
(I am the outline anon with the 60k word outline and 0 word draft.)

[Anonymous No.22750393]

You write better than me

But maybe the things I say matter more

[Anonymous No.22750419]

I’m constantly trying to find the coziest and most authorial place to write. I’m thinking it’s the bathtub. With a fountain pen and cheap pad of paper I bought at the train station. Absolutely Lindy. If you write on a computer you’re a retard and a poser.

[Anonymous No.22750440]

>>22750419
I write my passages on the most cursed antique typewriter bought from an ethnic immigrant in a cramped shop full of dusty trinkets.

[Anonymous No.22750478]

>>22749781
>When we need to eat; we merely ask, when we need entertainment; it is provided in numerous forms, when we need love; it is found.

Really? I can't imagine a priest or even normal person uttering such nonsense.

And then later in the same dialogue you mention that this Percy is stealing food...

[Anonymous No.22750499]

>>22748783

That's just a part of the writing process. It's okay (and necesary) to keep rewriting. Do it until you are satisfied with the end product. The key word is satisfied, that it's acceptable, not that it's perfect.

If you think writing is just a one or two-draft process then you'll never make it.

[Anonymous No.22750503]

I'm writing a ya novel. It's dual pov, so in the next scene, the girl puts on a negligee and he stares at her legs.

[Anonymous No.22750523]

>>22750503
It sucks.

[Anonymous No.22750624]

>>22750503
This is bad even for erotic literature.

[Anonymous No.22750788]

>>22750478
The priest was wrong about Percy.

The story is a future dystopian where the devil is worshipped and the MC finds Jesus.

[Anonymous No.22750889]

Made some edits from the last thread.

[Anonymous No.22751011]

>start working on novel for the first time in two months
>the first thing I do is have the deuteragonist bully my protagonist to the verge of tears
maybe I should've taken some more time after the breakup.

[Anonymous No.22751081]

How do I write like Kafka? How do I come up with ideas like he had?

[Anonymous No.22751085]

>>22751081
Become a drunk chronic masturbater sex addict born to rich jews

[Anonymous No.22751107]

>>22751085
>drunk
I’m too young to drink
>chronic masturbator
I have no sex drive
>born to rich Jews
No chance

[Anonymous No.22751136]

>>22751081
Hes a faggot writer. Very average.
>I'm le bug :(((((

[Anonymous No.22751155]

>>22749349
Libre or open or latex or joplin

[Anonymous No.22751157]

>>22748916
Dont touch it for a month and read it after your break

[Anonymous No.22751161]

>>22748828
Buy a nice fountain pen and ink
Buy a stack of nice printer paper
Write shit
Delete all social media and never return.

[Anonymous No.22751164]

>>22751136
>I don’t understand complex symbolism

just go read hairy plopper again faggot

[Anonymous No.22751168]

>>22751164
>calling yourself an insect is complex
Get a load of this göi

[Anonymous No.22751198]

>>22751168
>he doesn’t know that “ungeheuren Ungeziefer” is a purposefully ambiguous term and that Kafka never allowed for the story to be depicted with an insect illustration

Get a load of this redditor.

[Anonymous No.22751271]

>>22751198
>uses ambiguous term to describe self
What a mastermind! His pronouns are also they/them!

[Anonymous No.22751274]

>>22751198
Kaaafffkaa

[Anonymous No.22751285]

>>22750889
Square glass is dumb. You'd have to drink from the corner or else spill all over your face.

[Anonymous No.22751297]

>>22751271
You are king midwit. Enjoy reading Hairy Plopper and le Hoongar Gaems again.

[Anonymous No.22751557]

>>22748193
>kachow faggot

[Anonymous No.22751675]

Alright, let's give this a shot. It's a noir-style detective story. Man searches for murderer and ends up losing his mind. Do you like it? Would you keep reading?

[Anonymous No.22751684]

>>22751675
>noir-style detective story
>Would you keep reading?

No. This is way too purple for any kind of detective story. Even for a regular story, this would be purple. Maybe you can dial it down a bit.

[Anonymous No.22751699]

>>22751675
Jesus dude where did you learn to punctuate this badly?
Your purple nonsense has the side-effect of being less evocative than it would be plainly stated.
Don't try to be poetic with crap like
>It is as if it is not she the one who is without life
(wtf is this broken sentence?)
>, but rather the room of the living
(the living room?)
>that is devoid of her breathing presence
Don't do that, it's awful.
You also repeat stuff. A lot. We know she's pale and naked, you don't need to tell us over and over. What is this? 50 shades of pale?
>We were on the 52nd floor of the Astoria Hotel
This should be the start of your description, not the middle.
>last paragraph
Why is he leaving? You need to expand this scene where we've met nobody before you end it.

>would you keep reading
No. If you do have any idea at all for this story beyond this one excerpt, then you need to learn how to write properly first.

[Anonymous No.22751781]

>>22741461
Part of my self-published (sorta) series written in a Tolstoyan fashion about cybernetic aristocratic lesbians

[Anonymous No.22751801]

>>22751781
Bloated with an excess of verbiage to the point of, if not past the point of, becoming completely unreadable.

[Anonymous No.22751802]

>>22751801
filtered

[Anonymous No.22751844]

>>22751781
>Her being
Should be 'She being'?
>noirlike
Don't like that much. It's too nondescript to be useful.
>held their elbows towards their chests
I feel an anatomical misunderstanding here. No idea how that would look.
>small dots of light underneath her arms
Again, I am in doubt of the anatomical reality here.

It's good, I think. I would need to see the whole or at least that full part and what comes of it to judge it properly. You clearly know how to write and the paragraph/sentence structure makes sense.

[Anonymous No.22751870]

>>22751844
>Her being
>Should be 'She being'?
Probably, yes.

>noirlike
>Don't like that much. It's too nondescript to be useful.
I agree, I was trying to come up with a word/phrase to describe it, but me putting that in as a placeholder must have slipped past me when I screenshotted this section.

>held their elbows towards their chests
>I feel an anatomical misunderstanding here. No idea how that would look.
I tried to find a picture, but I couldn't. You know when someone's sitting and it's crowded and someone bigger walks by you, women will often hold their arms up to make it easier for them to pass, their hands end up looking dainty and I think it's kind of cute

>small dots of light underneath her arms
>Again, I am in doubt of the anatomical reality here.

Cybernetics. It's explained a bit earlier, but I put in the post that they are cybernetic

It's good, I think. I would need to see the whole or at least that full part and what comes of it to judge it properly. You clearly know how to write and the paragraph/sentence structure makes sense.

Thanks! I often get so bogged down thinking my stuff only makes sense to me, but it's good that at the very least, everything works mechanically and any potential problems are story/character etc

[Anonymous No.22751883]

>>22751781
I'm sure this would be popular among 18th century women and faggots, but I'm afraid the audience has died.

[Anonymous No.22751884]

I haven't written anything in a decade. How do I fix this?

[Anonymous No.22751885]

>>22751883
Sorry, there is a distinct lack of rape and autistic descriptions of machine guns

[Anonymous No.22751943]

>>22751884
You've already shown yourself a liar

[Anonymous No.22751952]

>>22751943
Fine.
I haven't written a piece of fiction with a word count greater than 200 in 11 years. How do I fix this?

[Anonymous No.22751962]

>>22751952
By writing something more than 200 words

[Anonymous No.22751966]

>>22751952
Just write anything. Yesterday I began by typing out my thoughts including what is frustrating me about not writing and before I knew it I had my project up and was writing. Just push through the first 5 minutes and then the momentum will take you the rest of the way.

[Anonymous No.22751972]

>>22751781
could be cool. do you want some criticism? here you go either way:
- way too dense
- pacing is wild
- rapid introduction of characters
- occasionally over-descriptive
- questionable 16yo character
- exposition heavy
to summarize, clarity is the biggest issue

[Anonymous No.22751981]

>>22751972
>way too dense
I like dense, Victorian prose. It's all I read,
>pacing is wild
Valid. I do struggle with it. However, the story evolves, but it does so at this glacial pace consistently.
>rapid introduction of characters
All of these characters have been introduced. This is a section from the beginning of the novel.
>questionable 16yo character
Valid. There's sociopolitical reasons why this works in the context of the world, but I won't get into them.
>exposition heavy
Sure, but I emulate the style of Victorian novels, which I love. I guess you could say they were exposition heavy, but those works (like mine) are just as long.

[Anonymous No.22751984]

>>22751675
this doesn't read like a noir detective story. look into the tropes that define the genre.
- the descriptions are nice, but the pacing is a crawl because of it.
- very little character development (the narrator)
- melodramatic
not bad but try to balance it out with some juice.

[Anonymous No.22751990]

>>22751981
Also to add, I try to bring about a sort of psychedelic state of being with my texts, long, drawn out, slow and sensual descriptions. Long bits where the mundane appear profound. Connections to things that may not warrant a connection etc. I guess reading with the context of it being this hyper-real, yet zoned out, distant/dreamlike yet incredibly visceral and sensual world is what I am going for. Sort of how it feels to get a dream with a really nice girl and that dream is so vivid and magical that you wake up in a state of terror longing to return, so you become obsessive over it, but aren't quite able to capture everything neatly.

[Anonymous No.22752006]

>>22751990
i could sort of tell what you were doing; like how you start by placing erin at a fountain, then go off on a tangent, but make sure to re-place her at the fountain before continuing.
it's still a little hard to follow. maybe because of where i was dropped in.

[Anonymous No.22752218]

>>22751990
The problem is that the mundane doesn't appear profound but just mundane. If not even robot lesbians can make your story interesting, something has gone critically, profoundly wrong

[Anonymous No.22752579]

>>22751297
I only read green text stories because they're better than anything in print.

[Anonymous No.22752583]

>>22751781
>cybernetic aristocratic lesbians
What the fuck is wrong with you

[Anonymous No.22752588]

>>22751990
Who is your audience? I dont mean by age either. Who is going to look for this sub-sub-sub-genre?

[Anonymous No.22752764]

it’s black friday so you better nigger

[Anonymous No.22752768]

>>22752588
The audience is myself. If I get fans along the way, that's great. But I'm absolutely not writing for them

[Anonymous No.22752812]

Messed around with NovelAI for the first time yesterday, and considering paying for the service.

I've been writing erotica shorts for about five years straight and have gotten decent visibility and even some fans. I churn out a story a week, with some lapses.

I had the evil thought of making a second pen-name using AI to generate stories trained off of my hundreds of works. Essentially, a clone of me. Results when messing around were okay, flat as AI writing tends to be, but... not bad. It would require some editing and re-writing on my part. And I hate editing. But I fed it one of my on-the-shelf ideas and have been letting it go wherever it wants to with it. It's not the direction I would have went, but... I don't dislike it.

My plan is to still write my version of the story and publish it like normal, but then let NovelAI finish its version, then edit it and publish it with the preamble that this is an alternate version of my own story, and go on a little soapbox about what I think of AI, and then present the story. And then, maybe, if it's viable, make that second penname and publish AI stories. Don't know if that's a good idea or not.

[Anonymous No.22752970]

>>22752768
Consider that your audience doesn't have your perspective, or imagery, a big-picture that you have. You must supply this for them.

[Anonymous No.22752977]

>>22752812
>feed the beast
Shame on you.

[Anonymous No.22753002]

>>22752977
He is not lacking for nourishment.

[Anonymous No.22753010]

>>22753002
Yet anon feeds him anyway.

[Anonymous No.22753022]

>>22753010
Well, it kept coming back.

[Anonymous No.22753041]

>>22753022
It smells your weak feminine nature. How repulsive.

[Anonymous No.22753052]

>>22746093
>Write it from the point of view of a nosy neighbour, that describes the descent to hell of the guy.

>Write it as the diary of the guy.

>Make the guy an unreliable narrator.

Your story sounds fun, I hope you get to share it with the world !

[Anonymous No.22753097]

>>22748505
>>22748532
>>22748586
>>22748664
>>22748745
>>22748762
>>22748776

I tried to read several times your outline and can't for the life of me figure out what the hell are you guys talking about.

Please, please simplify the story. I don't feel anyone is heroic in what you described and I don't even feel a hint of interest towards your outline.

The Paladin is the Bad guy, who trained orphans into sleeper agents, that part is cool.
So one of the sleeper agent got rogue and he kills all people involved with the conspiracy, but not the paladin ? So maybe he doesn't know about the involvement ?

IDK, your story would feel more interesting if :
>The MC is working with the Paladin
>The Paladin is established as the very good guy
>The Paladin sends the MC to stop the killing, as a good guy
>The MC realises that all is not rosy well, and that the vilain is actually a good guy (which he is, the way you described it to me, cause he just seeks justice)
>Cat and mouse game, interactions, and then they both realise that the Paladin is the masterhead of it all (if the vilain knew sooner, he would go kill the Paladin, if the MC knew sooner, he would maybe be in danger)
>What will the MC do about it ?

Don't need no blackmail, don't need to bring the maid as a motivation (shit's cliché), but you can add in the necromancer, the magic to add some spice.
For example :
>Plot twist ! The Sleeper Agents are actually dead all along ! And they don't know about it ! The MC finds out about it before the "villain" !
>Second plot twist ! The "real" Necromancer IS the Paladin and if the Paladin dies, they all die, as he is their master !
>Final plot twist ! The "villain" was controlled all along ! His job was to clean the mess of his Paladin-Necromancer master ! He was never free !
>What will the MC do about it ?

Just my 2 cents. Hope you understand where I'm getting at ! Good luck anon.

[Anonymous No.22753098]

>>22746093
how does your story progress? how long is it supposed to be?

[Anonymous No.22753287]

The first part of my web novel project is close to end now. 105k words altogether, posted over 2 months. I'm not really sure what to take from this. I guess it wasn't a total disaster, for a non-litrpg, non-cultivation, non-dungeon core story, but the absolute silence in the comments is worrying. There are still two parts left, but if somebody says shit sucks after part 1's finale, I think I'll just fold...

[Anonymous No.22753330]

How does wattpad work? I am publishing my story on scribblehub and royal road and even got some visits. But wattpad is dead silent.

Also - other sites like that?

[Anonymous No.22753335]

>>22753287
Why not just write fanfic at that point?

[Anonymous No.22753358]

>>22753335
Why would I? I want to tell my own story, not bastardize someone else's.

[Anonymous No.22753462]

>>22753287
>non-litrpg, non-cultivation, non-dungeon core story
I am amazed you managed to get 4k views.

[Anonymous No.22753501]

Why does /lit/ hate genre fiction when that's you write?

[Anonymous No.22753553]

>>22753330
>How does wattpad work?
It doesn't. There's 0 fucking reader engagement.

[Anonymous No.22753607]

>>22753287
That is actually pretty decent. I'm in the same boat ( unique world, no isekai, cultivation, litrpg and other weirdness ) and 400 views after a month.

I wonder where to publish my stuff, because people seem to only read about smut manga demon cat girls or somesuch.

[Anonymous No.22753638]

>>22751801
This

>>22752218
And This

[Anonymous No.22753659]

do you guys think you need to have a theme to write a great book? it seems like the best books encompass so many different themes that it's almost not worth thinking about

[Anonymous No.22753674]

>>22753638
filtered

[Anonymous No.22753675]

>>22753659
>do you guys think you need to have a theme to write a great book?
It absolutely fucking is and it's best to have multiple related or parallel ones.

If you have no theme you have braindead slop.

[Anonymous No.22753725]

>Made the distance the chracters need to travel too long.
>Can't induce the perception of a large amoungt of time/distance passing with succinct writing to save my life.
>Literally inserting a chapter with a river and a boat just to fill the gap.
>Not tied to the plot in any way, just a fucking boat ride.
Honestly I've always criticised Tolkein for being dry but I get it now; if you start with a map you've basically fucked yourself into having to fill out boring travel sections with whatever you can or else risk the characters living in a playground sized world. Luckily this is the longest distance the characters will ever have to travel on foot but shit am I ready for it to be over. I don't give a FUCK about camping yet my story is now full of it.

[Anonymous No.22753736]

>>22753725
Camp talks are primary way my story is told.

[Anonymous No.22753741]

>>22753607
Well, posting once a week is really sparse. Most people will have forgotten chapter 1 by the time 2 and 3 come around. I don't think the views/chapter growth rate is that different.

[Anonymous No.22753787]

>>22753659
While I'm sure there are plenty of writers who sit down to write about a specific theme, I feel like a lot of stories just have themes pop up in them while being written, the author notices that a specific theme keeps popping up in the writing, and then they tease it out by exploring it with more intention as they go.

I find it hard to imagine wanting to write something without accidentally infusing some kind of theme into it. Even if it's muddled or haphazard, there are probably some themes subconsciously infused due to the thoughts and ideas being filtered through a person with a lived experience.

[Anonymous No.22753816]

>>22753725
You can just end a chapter with the party having clear goals on where they need to go and how they will get there, and starting the next chapter at the next point of interest. You don't "need" to describe every moment of travel.
>>22753736
Based if they're good, otherwise just as gay as any other filler.

[Anonymous No.22753821]

>>22742237
Bad opener. This can all be cut without removing anything from the first chapter. Capitalizing "Law and Order" like you did makes it read like the name of the show also. I'd drop this immediately in the real world.

[Anonymous No.22753987]

I dunno if this is a weird question or not, but I'd like your thoughts. How important is it to establish already established characters in a fanfic? I imagine it'll be needed to some degree, but if a major side character from a series showed up, does their backstory really need to be explained in order to keep cohesion? I assume most fanfic readers would be familiar enough to not really need the background info, but it feels kind of at odds with writing original things. I've read such little fanfic, I'm not really sure what the consensus is.

[Anonymous No.22754032]

Have a book in my head, post apocalyptic fiction, I know how it starts and ends but nothing in between - this is the opening paragraph and what I have so far:

Little balls of flame appeared in Jacob’s eyes, a reflection of the carnage in the skies above. The commercial airliners were plummeting to the ground at speeds that annihilate metal and flesh, like a freight train rocketing into the abyss. He stood in the field, alone and unafraid of whatever dangers lurked around him. His eyes were glued to a sky immolated by little balls of fire and the twisted beauty of the scene turned him to stone. Just for a moment, he forgot about the wounded marauder he had pinned under his boot.

[Anonymous No.22754033]

Is it possible to replicate the same feeling and wonder you get from reading Shakespeare in prose form? The opening monologue from Richard III for insistence.

[Anonymous No.22754046]

>>22753659
If a story doesn't have a theme, I'll try to find one into it anyway. One of the reason why I love weed. Makes everything looks more profound.
Fuck, even the fucking Croods 2 is a wonderful take on Promethus when you think about it.

Anyway.

Yes. You need a theme. But as >>22753787 said, the theme is likely to already be there. Find ways to let it shine, and see which other themes are around this one.

IMO, you can't go wrong about making anticapitalist stories. Because God knows we need everything we can to get rid of that one !

[Anonymous No.22754072]

>>22742237
Reddit tier. Give up on writing.

[Anonymous No.22754092]

>>22753987
I feel annoyed and bored when an author recaps things. That's true of sequels, and it would still be true of fanfiction, if I still read it. Your audience already knows these things. If they don't, then that's their problem for not fucking paying attention.

[Anonymous No.22754109]

>>22753674

You are probably retarded. Try getting some help.

[Anonymous No.22754131]

>>22754032
I like it for what it is. Depending on your style, I think you've left yourself some room in there to elevate the paragraph a bit. Overall, it's nice.

Gets the reader situated/10

[Anonymous No.22754146]

Bros I'm so scared, I finished volume one at 76 thousand words and am now I'm doing some editing and revising which has bumped me up to 85 thousand words and I'm only a quarter of the way through the volume ;_;.
But I'll upload it on Royal Road when I'm finished hopefully by the end of Sunday.
Here's the cover I put together which I'll hopefully be able to make better in the future.
I'm trying to figure out the released schedule, would I just dump all of Volume one at once and then do like 2 chapters a week afterwards?

[Anonymous No.22754149]

>>22754032
>I know how it starts and ends but nothing in between
Bad sign. I'd recommend outlining. A few questions for you (no, I don't want the answers): Who is the main character(s)? What do they want? How do they try to get what they want? What complications arise as they try to get what they want? How do they respond to these complications? Every time you answer one of those questions, ask the follow-ups: Why? How? Do this until you have a full plot.
Example: "Jacob is a timid man who witnesses something horrible: a mid-air collision. He wants to get over it, both the memories and his cowardice. He uses experimental, Old World tech to attempt to partially erase his memory. The organized crime syndicate he stole it from wants his head for this, and worse, the tech wiped out too much of his brain: he has forgotten half of his memories, and he has a brain bleed, that is slowly killing him. He has a foggy memory of another settlement, warm recollections, so he tries to flee there. He encounters dangers in his journey (mutants, radiation, robots, whatever), but is able to bravely face and overcome them. He arrives at his destination to find it was burned to the ground years ago. As he sifts through the literal ashes, accepting he's out of time, the mafia's goons arrive, and cock their pipe weapons. He turns to face them, alone and unafraid."
Obviously, that still leaves a lot of gaps, especially in the middle. That's where you drill down: how will he travel? What dangers does he face? How does he survive them? Note that my example has little to do with your passage. That's because it's just an example.

>in medias res opening
>for a story that you don't even have an outline of
"Bold", and I mean that as impolitely as I can.

>a reflection of the carnage in the skies above.
"in the skies" should be cut. It's made redundant by the following sentence, and leaving "above" in the sentence leaves that as set-up.

>at speeds that annihilate metal and flesh
So... free fall? Unless your reason for saying otherwise is meant to imply an additional downward force, in which case, why is that not mentioned? Again: redundant, cut it.

>like a freight train rocketing into the abyss
Generally, similes/metaphors are used to simplify comparisons, or to add flavor to a description. Here, you're comparing a large metal vehicle falling to a large metal vehicle falling. Cut it.

>alone and unafraid of whatever dangers lurked around him
"Show" vs. "tell". I don't like it. Describe him being alone and unafraid- perhaps others running from the area in terror. Don't tell me he's "alone and unafraid", and definitely don't tell me, personally, an anon giving you advice, "Well, I can't have a crowd fleeing in terror, because there are no other characters in the scene!" First, that's dodging the advice, and second, that means you AGAIN have (partially) redundant exposition.

char lim

[Anonymous No.22754159]

>>22754146
I like the art. Good luck with your release.

[Anonymous No.22754166]

>>22754032
>>22754149
>little balls of fire...twisted beauty
First, redundancy, though replacing "flame" with "fire" was a cute attempt. Second, we have a clash of tone. What "twisted beauty"? I thought it was "carnage". I assume this is meant to characterize Jacob as a psycho, but if so, show vs tell again. Don't tell me he's a psycho that likes watching pretty explosions, demonstrate it by the marauder moving under his boot, reaching for a weapon. No, "that's the next sentence" is not a valid defense. Also, Jacob clearly isn't "alone" if there's a wounded marauder pinned to the same spot as him BY him.

[Anonymous No.22754179]

>>22754092
I see. I searched around a bit, and I think your opinion is the common one. It logically makes sense, just feels kinda awkward.

[Anonymous No.22754186]

>>22754149

I appreciate your critique and honestly I haven’t written anything fictional in a long time. I’ve written a lot of articles but that’s it and a few short stories.

I do have a general outline in my head but it’s not really fleshed out. I will continue fleshing it out. Basically the MC is on a search and destroy mission to find and kill the leader of a group of killers/cult the leader is revealed to be his father. The story takes place at the onset of the apocalypse. I had the idea of each part being a season fall, winter, spring, summer, fall. With some minor time skips along with the way. I know it all sounds kind to derivative but it’s a story I feel like I need to write.

I will try my best to cut needless words.

>>22754131

Thanks mane

[Anonymous No.22754213]

>>22754186
>it’s a story I feel like I need to write.
That's all that matters. Even if similar stories exist, none have been written through your eyes.

[Anonymous No.22754217]

>>22753987
You don't have to reestablish the characters. You can give a brief intro but it's not necessary to give exposition like in an original story.
Even in original stories, backstory is usually explained over the course of the story or briefly mentioned.

[Anonymous No.22754239]

>>22754186
>I know it all sounds kind to derivative
Don't worry about that, because
>it’s a story I feel like I need to write
Your hype-man is right. Despite the snobbish iT hAs To Be LiTeRaRy advice I'm giving you, there's literally nothing wrong with writing schlock, genre fiction, whatever.

>The story takes place at the onset of the apocalypse
I had wondered about that, but the last sentence threw me for a loop, made me think you were going for POST-post-apocalyptic, with a return to some industry and centralized states (commercial flight) but lingering lawlessness (marauder).

>I haven’t written anything fictional in a long time
I started lurking these threads a few days ago for the same reason. I'm the anon from last night that asked how to break a decade-long dry spell. Right now, I'm outlining. "We're all gonna make it," or whatever.

[Anonymous No.22754247]

>>22754239
>hype-man
:)

[Anonymous No.22754263]

>>22754239
Good point about the marauder thing I might have to revise that or change the timeline. Goodluck on your project bro. I’ve slightly revised my paragraph, any better?

Little balls of flame appeared in Jacob’s eyes, a reflection of the carnage above. The commercial airliners were plummeting to the ground. He stood in the field, his jaw agape and his heart pounded, but his body remained still. His eyes were glued to the immolated sky and just for a moment, he forgot about the wounded marauder pinned under his boot.

[Anonymous No.22754301]

>>22754263
Hype-man here. I felt like rhyming.

Balls of flames, reduced in size only by the distance to Jacob's eyes, distributed what in a few moments time would be confirmed as lethal doses of radiation to the land below. Its fallout pattern only hinted at by the dropping birds of both flesh and steel. He stood in the field unable to look away, adrenaline suggesting a return to more primitive action, but still he remained glued to the immolated sky. The wounded marauder pinned beneath his boot became unreal for just these slow unraveling moments.

[Anonymous No.22754330]

I want to get into the New Yorker. But I know that my style wouldn’t do it. I think my plan is to study their style in depth and come up with a perfect ersatz approximation of what gets accepted there, even if it’s totally soulless. I might even do some statistical analysis to figure out what works.

[Anonymous No.22754354]

>>22754301
Nice! Love the first line it’s more of what I had in my head when I got the idea

[Anonymous No.22754407]

Please r8 my book opening. I saw that post about only needing to write 500 words a day so I scraped 250 words together. I have a vague idea where I want to take this but no idea how to get the plot rolling.

>Muscles flexed with hot blood rushing underneath and cool sweat streaming down over as the lad trekked his way up the mountain. It was a hot and dry summer day and the brilliant sun shined down from above illuminating the exposed torso, defined like an ancient hero’s would be. His long auburn hair gleamed like copper wire. All the lad could tolerate wearing over his youthful body were a pair of shorter length running shorts that only partially covered his energetic legs as they carried him upwards one step over the other. His dust covered hiking boots pattered at a rather pleasant sounding rhythm as he lightly jogged up. Below him all to the east he looked down on the endless flat plain. The grid of either a large town or small city was spread out immediately below, while further out farms and ranches were outlined. Peering to his west the endless majestic mountains rolled like the titanic waves of a primordial sea. Looking out ahead again he listened to the soft sound of insects and swaying branches.
>Hearing a bird’s song the lad finally stopped his rapid pace for a second to listen. He climbed over some rocks and found an amiable if not quite comfortable area to sit that looked out to the east. Taking a crisscross applesauce position hidden in his rocky outpost, Hayden enjoyed the summer day like there was no tomorrow as he sipped on his water.
>But suddenly there was a rustling and voices and the birdsong stopped.

[Anonymous No.22754409]

>>22754330
>The New Yorker

[Anonymous No.22754413]

>>22754409
Why yes, I do want to get into the most prestigious magazine on earth, an acceptance by which can start a person’s literary career in an instant.

[Anonymous No.22754427]

>>22754413
>the most prestigious magazine
SO not only are you a midwit but you're a status seeking sycophant as well.

[Anonymous No.22754443]

>>22754427
Why yes, I do want thousands upon thousands of people to read my stories :)

[Anonymous No.22754462]

>>22754443
Thousands of glass eyed bugmen that only read it because they've been memed into thinking intelligent people read that goyslop.

[Anonymous No.22754468]

>>22754462
Cool, have fun writing drafts that sit on your computer or in your desk drawer forever. Much better than being read by thousands of “bugmen” (normal people).

[Anonymous No.22754471]

>>22754468
>the dream of a writer is to be acknowledged as intelligent by admittedly average people
Its pathetic honestly.

[Anonymous No.22754473]

>>22754471
Yes. The dream of a writer is, indeed, for his writing to be read. Norm McDonald was on SNL, since you hate normies so much :)

[Anonymous No.22754476]

I've read so many MTL'd Chinese Novels that I'm starting to wonder how feasible porting their ideas (ie. Xuanhuan, messy yet delicious power systems, etc.) into somewhat readable prose would be for the Slop market.

[Anonymous No.22754484]

>>22754473
>Norm was on SNL for the acknowledgment of other people
I don't even know where to start with this one. Holy shit you're so dumb but pretending like you know things.

[Anonymous No.22754502]

>>22754484
Norm Macdonald was not your little misanthropic buddy. He was a comedian who made millions of dollars and was in the mainstream for his entire career. It must hurt having a hero who catered to the “normies” you hate so much. I’ll see you on the New Yorker fiction pages :).

[Anonymous No.22754548]

>>22754443
>>22754473
>>22754502
> :)
This is how people know you're actually angry btw

[Anonymous No.22754572]

>>22754548
What would I be angry about? Some freak on 4chan saying that I’m a normie for wanting my work to be in the most prestigious magazine on the planet?

[Anonymous No.22754622]

I'm writing a book but I've realized this story is extremely visual or at least I don't have the iq to describe it in words. I've come up with a world, characters, figured out themes, structure, all that work is done. All that needs to be done now is the prose itself which doesn't work. I'm 100% certain it'd work better in a visual medium like an animated show or a comic. What do I do anons? Do I just try to make it a novel anyway and hope I figure it out and it lands better then I think it will or do I make the switch to something like a comic series and try to do it that way? Involving another person and essentially handing over storytelling to them - since it's a visual medium and the artist is the master of visuals - is an insanely scary idea and going back to square one with a script is demotivating. I prefer being in control of the story as much as possible and I'm socially retarded so a novel is in a sense better for me but this thing is begging for visual storytelling.

[Anonymous No.22754687]

>>22754622
There's plenty of books that have complex fictional worlds and do pretty well. I don't think you need to do a visual honestly. What is your book about? I would be very interested in reading it :)

[Anonymous No.22754710]

>>22754622
post writing

[Anonymous No.22754869]

>>22754622
This was my post.
>>22742228

I am in a similar boat to yours. What I found was:
1. The reason the two parts of the story don't mesh is because of a pacing mismatch
2. The second half is paced in a way that does not go with my writing style (slow, character focused.) I would be unable to communicate my initial intentions and theme throughout the entire story without making major compromises to one--perhaps both--of the parts.
3. While the second part of the story could be told as a novel, I am dis-interested in changing styles to accommodate it and have decided to write it as a screenplay.

The screenplay format is efficient with my time. I'm really enjoying putting it to paper as a re-write from memory, referencing the original outline only as details are remembered and in need of refreshing. It's hard to leave out the prose, but ultimately I think the story is worth writing and so, given the circumstances that dictate its completion, I've decided that the screen is its destiny. In my opinion, it is better to write it as a screenplay than to let it die. Your mileage may vary.

[Anonymous No.22755282]

help me come up with a concept for my main character
side characters are effortless but my protag is just a blank bland slate and i'm struggling to come up with any ideas for him for some reason

[Anonymous No.22755285]

>>22755282
Just give him a disability. Boom, bestseller

[Anonymous No.22755379]

>>22755282
I have legitimately no fucking clue how you guys manage to do this. My main characters are best thought out and best developed characters and it's usually side characters that show up once.
>>22755285
My MC has unironically a mild physical and a shitton of mental disabilities. No, he's not retarded.

[Anonymous No.22755731]

I'm not gonna complete these revisions by the end of the year.

[Anonymous No.22755732]

Venture into the fuzzy underbelly of a world where claws are sharp, and the stakes are life or death. In the treacherous domains of a forgotten land, a band of feral felines reigns with iron claws and a thirst for blood. “Blood Meowridian” is a harrowing tale of survival, power, and the primal instincts that drive us all. These cats, once cuddly companions, now prowl the night as merciless hunters, their paws caked in the gore of their enemies, their feline howls a chilling anthem to the violence they worship.

As the moon casts its pale light over their grim conquests, the reader is drawn into the dark heart of the feline condition, exploring themes of violence, dominance, and the savage beauty of nature red in tooth and claw. This is not a story for the faint of heart, but for those who dare to walk on the wild side, “Blood Meowridian” promises an unforgettable odyssey through the shadows of the animal soul.

[Anonymous No.22755745]

>>22755282
what do you have so far? do you have any worldbuilding or story?

[Anonymous No.22755800]

>about to use a poetic subject-verb inversion (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subject%E2%80%93verb_inversion_in_English))
>in a fanfic with likely 50%+ ESL
>all of whom have a keyboard, internet access, and free time
kek

[Anonymous No.22755823]

>>22755800
What's the problem?
Other than turdworlders not getting it.
If you are that concerned about pearls before swine, why cast them?

[Anonymous No.22755909]

>>22755282
My main characters are just literally me and the readers love them.

...so how come everyone hates me irl?

[Anonymous No.22756032]

>>22755282
>side characters are effortless
How? I have three principle character, but even among them I find myself confusing their voices and swapping their roles too much, especially the girl and the main protagonist.

So far all the side characters I've come up with, not counting antagonists, are just cardboard cutouts that lack strong voices of their own. Nevermind ongoing character arcs or conflicts.

[Anonymous No.22756211]

Have any of you tried using chatGPT for writing prompts or practice? I asked it to help me improve and it set me an exercise and has given me some actually useful information, pointing out when I'm not fully engaging the senses of the reader etc. It takes some of the inertia away from getting started writing. I understand there are going to be a lot of purists saying that this isn't 'real' writing or something, though. I guess it depends how you use it.

[Anonymous No.22756218]

>>22756211
I don't use it. What kind of prompts do you get from it? Any good ones? Do you look up if they are recycled?

[Anonymous No.22756240]

>>22756211
it's too unoriginal for me

[Anonymous No.22756270]

>>22754159
Thanks anon, I got approved so I was able to publish it this morning.
>https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/77558/project-17-sen-no-fukai

[Anonymous No.22756310]

>>22756218
It gave me a very vague exercise to describe a setting and a specific tone. Some kind of somber event in a forest. I did that. Then it asked me to introduce a character, I followed that exercise etc. Then I ended up just taking the story somewhere and it kind of... clarified what I was doing? Here's an example of it's reply to my ending:

>Your narrative has come full circle, providing a poignant and emotionally resonant conclusion. The journey with the bird served as a metaphor for the man's emotional exploration and healing in the forest. The incorporation of the bird as a guide and the emotional release through the man's tears added depth and symbolism to the story.

The ending is powerful, offering a sense of closure and transformation for the character. The act of packing up and going home carries a sense of resolution, signaling that the forest served its purpose as a sanctuary for the man's grief.

You've crafted a touching and evocative short story. If you have any specific questions or if there's anything else you'd like to discuss or explore in your writing, feel free to let me know!

I then asked if it thought the emotional climax came too suddenly, and of course it can't exactly answer that, but it gave pointers on what to do to check that myself and adapt, eg:

>Emotional Climax: Consider extending the emotional climax by incorporating the man's realization about his son's absence during the interaction with the bird. Allow the emotional impact to unfold more gradually, perhaps with the man reflecting on his son as he follows the bird deeper into the forest.

It then suggested an area of my story where that could happen.

It's definitely not a perfect tool, and if you're already good at writing then it's probably not the best. But for someone like me who is trying to develop it's feels useful and makes the act of practicing a bit easier.

[Anonymous No.22756318]

>>22756310
Messed up my greentext. Paragraphs 2, 3 and 4 are all from chatGPT.

[Anonymous No.22756327]

>>22756270
This doesn't matter much because I know you are using a pseudo-jap title for weeb factor, but proper kanji for war is 戦争, Japanese is a SVO language so when you use の with rune for sen like that, it comes out as sen's x. You'd probably want to name it 腐界の戦争 following subject verb object scheme. Just an assoooomption.

Also, while furigana is normal for titles, it's very rarely in katakana unless you are autistic and want to insist on some word's specific spelling despite it not being so. えでん would work here fine.

I am just saying this because I'm a language autist.

[Anonymous No.22756337]

>>22756327
It was supposed to conflict but "Conflict Of A Rotting World" didn't sound cool so I went with War which some other anon gave me the idea for.
The English title is just for those who cant' read Japanese but thank you I'll keep that in mind.

[Anonymous No.22756365]

How much text should I devote to describing a character’s penis? This is for a young adult story, if that matters.

[Anonymous No.22756381]

>>22756337
>"Conflict Of A Rotting World"
戦争の腐っている世界を if my weeb bone isn't broken. And I'd furigana 世界 to be にわ but then the title would be "Sensou no Kusateiru Sekai(niwa) wo" if you want to keep the garden thing.

Again, just being autistic. Not like it matters because 99.9% of RR can't read jap, myself included if not assisted by my handy dandy kanji reader.

[Anonymous No.22756384]

>>22756365
I devoted one dialogue line to it.

[Anonymous No.22756479]

>>22756381
Man you're really putting my pride down here.

[Anonymous No.22756572]

>>22756479
Hey, as long as everyone thinks it's kooru.

[Anonymous No.22756902]

>>22756327
>>22756381
腐る世界の戦争

界 by itself doesn't mean world as in a planet, but is more an abstract realm, community, social circle. As in "fashion world", or "english-speaking world". "Fukai" is some gibberish. "Rot world"? What? Anyone seeing the word would first assume it to stand for 不快 (discomfort). Please don't mangle another language if you have no idea what you're doing.

[Anonymous No.22756922]

>>22756902
>"Rot world"? What?
You will probably note that a lot of japs play with kanji to create new words. 鬼滅 probably being the most famous example.

[Anonymous No.22756957]

>>22756922
Ignore that retard, he's the type to intorudce himself with
>コニチワ私はアノンですよ
Because that's what his text book said

[Anonymous No.22756978]

>>22756032
>are just cardboard cutouts that lack strong voices of their own. Nevermind ongoing character arcs or conflicts
With nothing to go on, we can't help you other than telling you "well, pay attention".
Do literally just that. Vet every single sentence the character says. Does it fit?
For example, is the character kinda simpleton? But one sentence he suddently uses the word "peculiar?". Change.
Is the character a jock? Does he use "peculiar"? Well, do you have a good reason why a jock would talk like that?
From the jock's perspective, what is the main girl's entire deal? And so on.

[Anonymous No.22756983]

>>22754407
my verdict is: not good. but I liked that you used "crisscross applesause" to emphasize the character's age, although even then the sentence itself is a little clumsy. Another thing that stood out are all the prepositions. Maybe work more on sentence variety?

[Anonymous No.22757026]

>>22756978
The setting is an underground world that has no concept of the surface, where most of the population every generation is drafted as a child into the military to enforce totalitarian control or be sent out to die against literally just the Thing from the movie The Thing. So most of the characters are young but pseudo-military, but without military-level enforced disciplen since the system would really just prefer that they die.

So I've run into this issue where the range of character dynamics is relatively small. Sure I can have someone that's particularly smart, or inclined towards mechanics, or stronger than others, but that's all within a limited band. But the more pressing issue than surface-level characterization is actually finding a role for them within the story, an arc or an idea to fufill.

[Anonymous No.22757245]

>>22757026
Unless you write YA, you don't NEED a colorful, idiosyncratic cast.
- many people bear themselves extremely professionally in certain non-private contexs
- many people have a diplomatic and subdued demeanour even outside these contexts
- independently of that, many people have a personality that doesn't genuinely shine through superficial interactions
- semi-independently of that, many people do not genuinely have a personality. They can be best typified as NPCs. This might include up to "people of interest", for whatever purposes (but typically, NPC-status is reserved to dimwits).

You should read more books written before 1950.

You may opt to write plot, world, etc. driven narrative.

[Anonymous No.22757460]

theres lots of stories about people abandoning god when he's mean to them/ found to be not exist, but has anyone written a story where god is present and benevolent, but people start to reject him anyway?

[Anonymous No.22757478]

>>22752812
>>22752977
>>22753002
>>22753010
>>22753022
>>22753041
Well I've experimented, and it might actually be viable, but also incredibly entertaining.

[Anonymous No.22757527]

>>22757460
The Bible? Especially Exodus.

[Anonymous No.22757558]

some of my writing made me cry
good or bad sign

[Anonymous No.22757581]

Friends, I'm writing a scene that needs a motivator and I'm seeking advice. I need my main characters to go an spy on what is effectively their boss, but I don't have a good reason for them to do that other than "curiosity", which feels really fuckin dumb.

[Anonymous No.22757589]

>>22757581
perhaps theres a series of layoffs but when they call their ex coworkers asking how their job search is going the numbers have been disconnected
buuut by your phrasing it doesnt sound like the typical white coller boss anyway so whatever

[Anonymous No.22757590]

>>22754622
Same.

My story will be a well-written novel. Then, someone finds out about it, and realizes how well it'll work as an animation series. I see how to go from there.

[Anonymous No.22757599]

>>22757589
Thank you for getting back to me. I should be more specific: these are conscripts in some kind of theocratic military. I won't bore you with tons of lore, but these are still effectively 18-19-year-olds, -- teens -- who are curious about why their commanding officer is at an emergency meeting. I know what information I need to convey, I just can't think of a reason for them to go and sneak around and eavesdrop and reveal plot threads.

[Anonymous No.22757604]

>>22757558
Good sign maybe, but it might just make you cry because you have personal attachment and your readers probably will not.

[Anonymous No.22757619]

>>22757599
it IS hard to think of a reason, military cadets are trained to observe the chain of command, compartmentalization of information and all that
they might be curious about the nature of the emergency, but the act of an officer going to such a thing isnt curious at all

[Anonymous No.22757623]

>>22757619
Exactly, you see my conundrum. They're also in a hyper-religious society so they have double incentive not to deny authority. Fug. Thanks for at least trying, Anon, I'll think about it a little more.

[Anonymous No.22757784]

>>22757599
>>22757619
If they're conscripts, they won't be highly trained nor highly motivated. Mostly, they just want to stay alive. Eavesdropping on the meeting, and maybe finding out what the emergency is, may help them to survive. For instance, if the emergency will require soldiers with some specific skill, they can make sure to demonstrate incompetence in that skill, so they won't be chosen to put their lives at risk.

[Anonymous No.22757919]

Who Here Has Actually Published?
How many books have you published?
How long was your first published book?
What have you learned from actually publishing that no one told you?

[Anonymous No.22758167]

I just made up a really good story. probably because my body is overheating from fever.

[Anonymous No.22758343]

>>22758334
>>22758334
>>22758334

[Anonymous No.22759142]

>>22756922
>>22756957
You probably shouldn't make up new words if you can't put together a single grammatically correct sentence.