/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.22626712]

Last time I banged a girl she told me my bookshelf was “funny”. I will be leaving for my job at sea for a few months and will be subletting my room to my roommate’s super hot sister while I’m away. She’s promised not to move any of my stuff, but how should I change my shelf so that she falls in love with me while I am not in contact with her in any way, shape, or form?

[Anonymous No.22626719]

nice bait, very entertaining. lose anything that resembles a child's toy. that's about all i've got for you because i'm too lazy to turn my head sideways right now

[Anonymous No.22626725]

>>22626719

[Anonymous No.22626735]

>>22626712
Leave it as is. She probably won't no matter what you do to it, but you won't be able to hide your fantasy interest from her on the off chance you do manage a date.

[Anonymous No.22626745]

>>22626712
>how should I change my shelf so that she falls in love with me
It's looking pretty good already. You just need to individually angle all the pokemon plushies so that they're each facing the direction of the pillow she'll be sleeping on.

[Anonymous No.22626769]

>>22626725
alright fine. lemme see here..
i've completed my analysis and have 3 things to tell you:
firstly, she will likely not care about the contents of the books at all, and in fact will probably not even read the titles. she is more likely to look a the color/font on the cover and infer the contents - provided she even goes that far. that is to say, if you are truly trying to impress her, get rid of the books with colorful/childish-seeming covers.
secondly, stop caring about this kind of thing. vanity and deception like this alter your perception of yourself even if you don't realize it -- you are already kowtowing to this chick from the getgo by putting this much thought into it. this second point is subjective i guess, but i wouldn't give it a second thought.
lastly: seriously you've gotta ditch the beanie babies

[Anonymous No.22626789]

>>22626735
>>22626745
>>22626769
One vote ditch the plushies, two votes keep the plushies

[Anonymous No.22626808]

>>22626789
this isn't a fuckin democracy. this is a tyrannical dictatorship and the supreme leader is some girl you're trying to impress. girls don't like manchildren, and plushies scream manchild. (i'm not suggesting that you actually are a manchild, only that the plushies may easily make you seem that way.
losing the plushies is objectively the best strategy. the plushies are high risk low reward

[Anonymous No.22626817]

>>22626712
This shelf is an 11 year olds shelf. No grown man with a shelf like this would ever get remotely close to having s*x with a woman

[Anonymous No.22626905]

A lot of girls don’t like plushes but a similar if not equal amount love them, and have their own collections. Maybe it’s the wrong girl for you. Keep the plushies but maybe pick up a book that isn’t high fantasy or something.

[Anonymous No.22626909]

>>22626712
Changing your livingspace for pussy is a bitch move. But you should probably limit your pokemon plushies (one or two is cute, a dozen is manchild territory) and cull most of your fantasy literature collection. If you've read it and won't realistically read it again sell it unless you absolutely loved it.

[Anonymous No.22626911]

>>22626817
Women like stupid gay shit

[Cult of Passion No.22626924]

>>22626911
https://youtu.be/3smkiuHTUPo

[Anonymous No.22626944]

>>22626808
>>22626905
>>22626909
UGH!!!!! FINE!!! Moved the plushies to a box, besides they made me feel like I shouldn’t touch the books cause it would mess up the display.

[Anonymous No.22626952]

>>22626905
I have a few books on history and religion scattered in there

[Cult of Passion No.22626955]

>>22626952
>history and religion
Christofascist? Uh, ew.

Have, like, a Buddha and crystals, myaaan.

[Anonymous No.22627086]

>>22626712
She’s going to sleep with other men in your bed and room, which is might be a bigger issue than your choice of decor

[Anonymous No.22627090]

>>22626952
Do you even know what topics interest her or anything about her

[Anonymous No.22627098]

>>22627090
She is one step away from living in a van and not shaving her armpits

[Cult of Passion No.22627114]

>>22627098
>one step away from living in a van
Can I have her number? I got a full sized bed in my van.

I spent a couple weeks here, having coffee and THC vape pen for breakfast on the beach, was uber comfy, I miss it.

[Anonymous No.22627115]

>>22627086
This. I've had 7 female flatmates over the course of two years and 6 of them engaged in such kind of behavior. In addition to this revelation, having previously fucked women but not being exposed to women fucking numerous other men while in a relationship, I've also found out they're are incredibly messy and - if we're being honest - retarded.

[Anonymous No.22627130]

>>22627115
Renting to women is a nuisance according to a lot of landlords. She’s definitely going to throw out all of his shit or move it at the very least and put up her own decor. If it were me I would box all my shit up and store it somewhere safe if possible.

[Anonymous No.22627180]

>>22627114
She actually has a van that she’s modifying for /vanlife/, with the goal of renting it out to boomers and schizo

[Anonymous No.22627220]

Step 1: Get rid of those dumbass stuffed animals. No woman wants to bang an 11 year old

Step 2: You like sci-fi/fantasy, which is not necessarily a problem, but you need to broaden your interests. This is not JUST so you can get laid from a better class of chicks, but that will indeed be a very nice side benefit. Books at the intersection of your interests and literary heavy hitters might include:
- The Road (you already have a McCarthy, and this won a Pulitzer)
- Never Let me Go by Ishiguro
- Kafka on the Shore and othes by Murakami
- Anything by George Saunders, Etgar Keret, Ted Chiang, Chabon, Adam Johnson, Borges
- He's kind of mainstream, but Neil Gaiman is actually not pretty good
- If you really want to get lots of pussy, get some books by Jon Lethem or Colson Whitehead or Joan Didion or Tom Robbins

[Anonymous No.22627226]

op is a nerd. Also vanlife is retarded

[Cult of Passion No.22627240]

>>22627226
I visited a dozen states and saw places, that you can only hope to once a summer, for months on end. Alaska was grand, so was the Grand Canyon.

And thats white win in the plastic cup with fine soft cheese on the bread with my fish and fruit. Yeah, Im pretty fucking fancy.

[Anonymous No.22627372]

>>22627220
Thanks for the reccies :3

[Anonymous No.22627507]

>>22627220
Just throwing this out there, but Philip K Dick's great.

[Anonymous No.22627824]

>>22627507
What's so great about his dick?

[Anonymous No.22627900]

>>22626712
Anons are shitting on the existence of the plushies, but I'm surprised no one has mentioned how dumb it looks having them on top of the books. When you take them out of the box, maybe try finding another space for them to go like a table or your bed, or sort out your room by finding stuff you don't need (like come on, when was the last time you used that globe or drank from that potion of shreks jizz?) to make room on the second shelf so your plushies have their own exclusive shelf space. It'll look far better to have the books and plushies be separated.

[Anonymous No.22628075]

>>22626712
>Blaziken, Groudon, and Regirock
Based Hoenn enjoyer