What is the most fun, fantastical, and readable retelling of Arthur?

[Anonymous No.22570860]

I'm too retarded for pic related.

[Anonymous No.22570867]

You already posted it, but you are probably looking for this

[Anonymous No.22571069]

>>22570860
Arthur Rex by Thomas Berger. Its much much more faithful to the original's themes, ideas, and general writing style than TH White's Once and Future King.
>“Arthur Rex” is plain-speaking on a fantastical subject. Emotional developments are delivered in blunt strokes, and often allowed no more than a sentence. Characters “knew shame”—and inner shifts are signalled by simple, definitive phrases like, “And so he conquered his envy.” The natural vagueness of the style reveals the torrid inner life of Berger’s adopted characters and the strangeness of their rigidly coded world. Profound truths crop up in the middle of sentences, and seem to have no sense of their own importance. “Now any truth concerning love is all but unbearable in the best of times,” Berger’s narrator says at once point, before quickly moving on. There are times, too, when the language gets in the way. (Berger is fond of the word “swyve,” but who wouldn’t be?) But mostly it works to strip away the thick, weedy language of the original, revealing something pure and alive.
Like an abridged version of the original tales.

[Anonymous No.22571174]

>>22570867
>>22571069
I got the kindle samples for both of these, and Arthur Rex is more my speed although The Once and Future King was still more more legible than the original. Thanks for recommendations.

[Anonymous No.22571217]

>>22571174
Arthur Rex is pretty crazy. I was laughing my ass off almost the entire time I was reading it and then felt depressed when it ended
I saved a few memorable excerpts,
>“My dear Percival,” said she, “what a happy boy thou art! For thou hast seen a procession of angels.”
>“Well,” said Percival, “they were quite the most beautiful sight that I have ever seen. How might I become an angel, Mother?”
>“By living piously all thy life,” said his mother. “And when thou hast died God will make thee into an angel for all eternity.”
>And Percival was pleased to hear this could be done so simply. But when he thought on it more he became impatient, and he did not want to wait so long to become an angel, because he was only a boy (and in fact he believed himself to be younger than he was, so protected had been his upbringing).
>Therefore when he returned with his sister to the garden he found a large stone there and he gave it her and asked her to bash out his brains with it.
>“O fool that thou art, Percy,” said his sister, “for when the brains are bashed out a person doth live no longer.”

[Anonymous No.22571234]

>>22571217
>But finally the day came when the queen was delivered of her child, by many of physicians and attendants, all of whom were afterwards put to death because they had seen the royal nether parts uncovered, and the babe was put into the hands of a wet nurse, who would also be disposed of when her job was done, along with her own infant and whichever other children had fed from the milk now being used to nourish a future king.
>But Merlin materialized at this moment, just as the nurse had bared her dug, the which to offer to the tiny gasping lips, and he seized the child and saying, “I claim my prize,” he vanished as quickly as he had come.

[Anonymous No.22571268]

>>22571234
>And seeing Percival this knight said, “Ho, merry-andrew, come here.” And Percival went to him courteously, and the knight said, “Now here is my proposal: that for every jest of thine which maketh me to laugh I shall give thee a piece of gold. But for every one which doth not amuse me I shall make thee eat a piece of my horse’s shit.”
>But Percival bowed and he said, “Sir, I would fight you honestly.”
>And the knight scowled darkly. “Well,” said he, “that is not at all laughable. Prepare then to eat a great horse turd.” And he went behind his charger and fetched up a steaming piece of dung from a newly fallen pile there, and he came to Percival to force him to eat it.

[Anonymous No.22571276]

>>22571268
>“Mordred! I am thine aunt, Morgan la Fey. And though I am much pleased to see thee, do not expect an embrace, for I never touch another except to gain power over him and work his ruin.”
>“And for mine own part,” said Mordred, “I always pinch or prick anyone who touches me in affection. But I am very happy to be with you, for I have always heard your name mentioned with loathing, and if people detest you so much, you must be altogether admirable.”
>“Thou hast the right instincts,” said Morgan la Fey. “But these are not sufficient in themselves, for all children have a natural attraction towards evil, the race of mankind being a monstrosity upon the earth, but persons are often distracted when they grow older. I must undertake thy tutelage, so that as thou dost mature, thou remainest as rotten as thou wert born.”
>“Well,” said Mordred, “methinks there is little danger of my acquiring any decency, though I might well hypocritically pretend to be a sweet child at times so as to gull certain persons into a belief that I am harmless.”
>“Splendid,” said Morgan la Fey. “’Tis a means which I myself use sometimes, and one of the most effective, for the reason that mortals, who live in fear, tend to dismiss from their attention him of whom they are not afraid, and therefore he can accomplish a great deal of wickedness without being detected. Whereas if he doth boast openly of his devilry, all will be on guard against him.”
>“My dear aunt,” said Mordred, “you are the only human being with whom I have ever felt a common cause. Indeed, until this moment I have felt quite alone in the world, for though my parents can not be called good folk, methinks the evil they have done is largely a result of fecklessness and not a devotion to the bad. For example, exposing me to the ravages of the wyvern might be seen as wicked, for I am their child. But if they were malefactors of true mettle, they would have murdered me outright and not submitted me to an ordeal which might well go awry and fail in its purpose—as indeed it hath. And furthermore, it were the better service to evil to preserve me, for never since being born have I displayed the least decent trait.”
>“Yea,” said Morgan la Fey, “thou seest these matters very clearly, Mordred, and though I have ever detested the thought of being a mother, I do wish I were thine, for thou art all I could ask of an offspring. My sister Margawse doth not deserve thee.”