/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.22398944]

Got ghosted after a year of dating some girl. Any books to help me understand the darker sides of the female psyche and why dissimulation is so common with them? Why are they like this? I genuinely want to understand them better.

[Anonymous No.22398950]

An interesting topic, although unlike you I am a Chad non black gigga nigga.

I will use this information to better conquer women.

[Anonymous No.22398959]

>>22398944
Why does it hurt you that she ghosts you? Is she that special? If so, why?

I have been ghosted before, it hurt, cause I thought we could just still vibe but I guess one of us took the relationship to something complex and confusing

[Anonymous No.22398962]

>>22398944
Was that IRL dating or internet dating? Because after a whole year of IRL dating I would assume that you would know where she lives, and be too engrained in her daily life to just ghost

[Anonymous No.22398963]

>>22398944
no one is arresting shit?

[Anonymous No.22398968]

>>22398962
You’re right. Wouldn’t have happened if it were real life. Online sadly LDR, we met via dms. One thing lead to another and we naively started long distance dating. I don’t regret it, lots of good, wholesome moments on call, FaceTime etc but a depressing end when we had many goals/promises left to accomplish

[Anonymous No.22398972]

How do you /lit/fags get in contact with women?
I can't even imagine how is it to talk to a woman. I know that they most read romantic novels, besides that what do they say?

[Anonymous No.22398973]

>>22398959
Because it was a year dating and we were close. We had a strong mental emotional connection and knew everything about each other. One of the few people I ever trusted that much. We called everyday for hours, texted tons. I’m not new to loss, but this one stings badly. Yes we never met irl but still hurts just as much. I know it’s easy to clown long distance dating, but they’re valid in their own way and quite poignant because in the back of your head you know it’s difficult to make it last

[Anonymous No.22398976]

>>22398972
no time, space, etc

[Anonymous No.22398982]

>>22398973
Shit. This is why I decide not to date for a while. You came with peace and left with PTSD. Well, in my case, I ended up having PTSD. I feel better now tho cause I finally realize what I should prioritize at my age

[Anonymous No.22398984]

>>22398982
...bros...

[Anonymous No.22398989]

>>22398984
*Shrugs*

[Anonymous No.22398993]

>>22398944
because you can come from anywhere

[Anonymous No.22399000]

>>22398982
It just happened randomly I wasn’t looking for it. We talked in dms and one thing lead to another. Now yeah I’m pretty messed up. I feel violated. The thing is, is how much she lied to me, concealed things at the end, and how she emotionally manipulated me promising everything was okay. She tells me she’s busy with school and that we won’t be able to call much this week. I know that’s a bag sign, but I begrudgingly say okay. Next thing she’s sending me pictures she screenshot of me on FaceTime saying “I’m deleting these I don’t need them anymore”. Apparently she has another guy who she kind of likes, something I’ve known for a bit. The distance plus other factors made things hard in the end. This is after the fact that I sent her flowers for her birthday, sent her another gift and we were talking about meeting irl. We were discussing dates to meet. I was willing to buy a plane ticket to her for the spring months on uni break. I don’t think I can date for awhile.

[Anonymous No.22399005]

>>22398968
>online
you were never dating

[Anonymous No.22399007]

>>22399005
I disagree with this, but I’ve heard it before

[Anonymous No.22399013]

>>22399007
Nta but you can disagree all you want, it's true.
You were an emotional tampon, now go get your test in order then your life in order, only then bother with women or you're just going to keep getting scammed out of attention/time in exchange for 0 pussy(and 0 actual emotional involvement from the other party as well, don't delude yourself)

[Anonymous No.22399020]

>>22399000
I know that feel bro right now I think we should focus on grinding for money cause we can buy useful things with it (to soothe out emotional pain) and... do good. Yes, do good (depending on what philosophical school you follow)

>Verification not required

[Anonymous No.22399023]

"Ghosting" can only exist within "dating," and "dating" can only exist within a sick culture in which women think they're men (full adults instead of something intermediate between child and man) and men think they're women ("social" beings instead of primarily political and vocational beings). Instead of being humble and realizing they are exchanging a socio-biological function (child-bearing and child-rearing) for the male's corresponding function (earning money and maintaining or improving the family's status and security through a vocation), women throw their weight around "as if" they were men (adults), and men instinctively feel as if they have no weight to throw around, because they're just social beings like women, and the only thing social beings can or should do is stay "sociable" (seek shallow "fun" at venues and eateries). Women excel at sociability (they are naturally shallow "fun"-seekers and thus not distracted by any dignity or ambition for greater things like men are) so they naturally always hold the upper hand in the merely social realm of petty collaborative "fun"-seeking with the intent to permanently couple as codependent fun-seekers (also known as dating). Men are thus always competing strenuously at the individual level to achieve the highest percentile on the male sociability bell curve while women's sociability bell curve is simply much higher on average so even an average effort from them is much more successful and natural than the average man's best efforts. Each man is competing against the law of averages, hoping he's one of the rare few who can achieve a high score, even though the vast majority of men mathematically speaking must fail. This is dating. So-called ghosting is simply when a man, restricted from manifesting his natural male essence as a political and vocational being, and thus only allowed to manifest female social being, awkwardly (as a being not organically suited for it), fails to achieve an unusually high sociability score (fails to experience or cause his partner to experience enough petty "fun," at venues and eateries) and his temporarily codependent merely social petty fun-haver (woman) judges him to be a low or middling percentile on the sociability bell curve.

[Anonymous No.22399029]

>>22399013
This is a myopic view of it. It can be an experience that helps both of you grow. Lots of good memories and moments. Of course it’s different than IRL, if that makes it less valid that’s your opinion. Saying I was nothing, but an emotional tampon is just your uninformed opinion. We genuinely loved each other and did a lot for each other. By the end it was just becoming harder to maintain and fights kept occurring over stupid stuff. It didn’t help that she suffered from bad mood swings and college was stressing her out.The worst part of online dating is when fights occur it’s hard to fix them once they keep happening.

[Anonymous No.22399038]

>>22399020
Thanks bro and yeah focus on ourselves. Uni and money is the priority now. Trying to move on. Best of luck

[Anonymous No.22399044]

>>22399029
How do you fight in online dating? You guys are literally not in each other's presence, like you could just go offline if she's mad and she's not there anymore and it's just you, you pet and your own reflection staring back at you on whatever technology you use.

[Anonymous No.22399053]

>>22399023
So you’re saying ghosting is the guys fault and not the woman’s? I see ghosting as more of a defense mechanism. When they feel the relationship is dwindling or they don’t find it worthwhile anymore they ghost to protect themselves from being abandoned or having difficult conversations

[Anonymous No.22399066]

>>22399044
Over text, FaceTime, call. Since it’s online the fighting is usually over trivial things and depending on her mood. Since we can’t fight over things normal irl couples do usually fighting usually is about misunderstandings, or based on our moods or something else. It’s silly that way, but yeah. I don’t recommend online long distance dating, it just happened. I don’t regret it. I still grew from it, there were many sweet moments.

[Anonymous No.22399079]

>>22399029
I am not here to argue with you not to prove to you how I formed or uninformed I am. You've displayed your entire being in this thread(as one does), all I needed was to read through it and listen.
Others have entertained your damaged ego and the need to feel sorry for yourself, I decided to chime in to give you a bitter truth you're averting your eyes from.
It's you, not her. The only things you should be asking yourself right now is what and why were your trying to get out of such a relationship, why aren't you pursuing healthier ways to get there and why are you so scared you kept it online/you didn't pursue something real.
Instead you're here asking why do BPD hoes ghost people. Kek
If the question is why do they do that, ask yourself why are you drawn to cluster bs and go deal with that.

[Anonymous No.22399080]

>>22399066
What makes you like this girl? What makes a moment sweet in online dating? Ah. I know this sounds like a joke question but for real, I mean, it's online! There's no sure-ground of it being 100% real, right?

[Anonymous No.22399084]

>>22399007
There’s a reason why you’ve heard it before OP, it’s because it’s the truth. You’re not the only guy in history to have been in this exact situation before; ever since the advent of the internet lots of people have wasted time on shitty online “”””relationships””””

Yes you might have gotten so joy and emotional growth from the last 12 months, but you would have gotten far more from even 12 days of IRL dating

[Anonymous No.22399096]

>>22399053
It's only a valid move in a rigged game with bad rules. It's like asking why white used her queen to checkmate black's king in just a few moves in a modified form of chess in which black isn't allowed any pieces except his king and pawns. It made perfect sense for white to do what she did, given this awful form of chess nobody should want to play. It's not her "fault" for making the right moves within this bad game.

Imagine if 90% women were ugly fat undesirable pigs who were legally not allowed to work, and could only survive by convincing a man to marry them. The top 10% of women in this society are attractive and get snatched up immediately, and thus live life on easy mode, so we're not concerned with them, we're concerned with the bottom 90%. These women would have no leverage over men, and thus they would always be bargaining from a horrible position. Every single attempt at convincing a man to commit would be a humiliating affair, because they really have nothing to offer except extraordinary and unnatural things. All the men really want one of the upper 10% of women, and are only begrudgingly and barely willing to resign themselves to "settling" with one of the lower 90% when they realize that the top 10% are scarce commodities. So when men do come to the bargaining table with one of the 90%, they already feel annoyed and entitled since they feel like they're settling, and they will drive an incredibly hard bargain and be incredibly unwilling to commit. The 90% ugly women would thus have to offer things that are unnatural and extreme, like menial service and degrading sexual service, and they would all be competing with one another to offer the most in a race to the bottom, and even then probably most deals would not go through as the men would still be hesitant.

That's the position the vast majority of men are in vis-a-vis women. How would you equalize this scenario? Make women have a natural distribution of physical desirability instead of it being 90/10. Which is in fact the case: men rate women's physical beauty on a near-perfect bell curve, all things being equal. But men are really in the 90/10 position: Because modern society de-sexes men and women and forces everybody to be a generic individual low-ambition hedonist living in a random megacity, only 10% of men are high value enough (extremely high status or wealth, or uncannily good looks) to bypass the bargaining table completely. The other 90% have to fight the uphill battle.

Can you blame women for being hard bargainers? Why wouldn't they be? It's just economics. The way to equalize it is simply to restore men to their natural condition: re-sex people so that men are NOT just individual hedonists offering generic social capital in generic megacities, but offering something distinctly male that they generate by being excellent men (NOT excellent individual fun-havers and fun-providers, which are both feminine activities).

[Anonymous No.22399097]

>>22399079
Because we both had online presences on certain social media and dmd. One thing lead to another. I’m aware of the bs nature of most online dating, but I felt she was worth it and trying. The original point of the thread really was to understand the female psyche more. I don’t really care about pity.

[Anonymous No.22399098]

>>22399084
This whole online relationship thing reminds of that Bladerunner 2077's edit of K staring at the hologram of Joi. It was all... pixels

[Anonymous No.22399100]

>>22398944
This guy has the remix. Did he try it in a city?

[Anonymous No.22399107]

>>22399084
It’s depressing and hurts like hell when it invariably ends in soul crushing heartbreak

[Anonymous No.22399114]

>>22399080
Like when I sent her a package with my old sports jersey. She was so happy. We were on FaceTime and she was in tears and so was I over the gift. Many moments

[Anonymous No.22399118]

>>22399114
>>22399080
And she would wear it almost everyday. I’d see her wear it and put it on FaceTime. The jersey had my last name on it.

[Anonymous No.22399135]

>>22399114
>>22399118
Hate to break it to you but women naturally wield emotions like this and can basically put a witch's spell on you using selective chamelonic oxytocin release, which triggers oxytocin release in you. Their commitment is "cheap." It is a huge deal for you to cry over a woman sending you a gift like that so you naturally assume it's a huge deal in general for a human being to do that with another human being. But she could have done that for you on webcam, broken up with you, gotten a new boyfriend, and done something functionally identical for him within a few months or even less time. Their emotions are much more powerful but "move" much more quickly, so they can experience what for you would be years of commitment in an astonishingly short time, and fully commit to it and feel fully "in" it, so they are fully convincing to you when they do it. They flush themselves with real oxytocin so all their reactions are fully genuine, which triggers protector and provider instincts in you and makes you think you've gotten a real ironclad commitment, which makes you commit.

That's why online relationships are extremely dangerous. She has a much lower investment threshold than you do. She always has a lower risk. It's like you had $10,000 in savings and she had $100,000,000 and you both invested $10,000 in the same venture. You invested the same, but you had a lot more to lose (your whole savings). Meanwhile she can enjoy all the benefits of investment (speculating on a potentially huge return) with none of the downsides (worrying about possibility of a total bust). You were playing against the house and the house always wins.

[Anonymous No.22399143]

>>22399135
>Their emotions are much more powerful but "move" much more quickly, so they can experience what for you would be years of commitment in an astonishingly short time, and fully commit to it and feel fully "in" it, so they are fully convincing to you when they do it
That’s why you have to take everything a woman says and does with the mindset that everything can change tomorrow. They’re so moody and unpredictable.

[Anonymous No.22399144]

>>22399118
So technically, this is a real relationship.

Well, I would not know why. I suppose some people just

> A) didn't have the moral ground to say goodbye like a Paddington bear, "hey, our relationship have come to an end, I got a boyfriend that I love"

> B) they're incredibly stupid they didn't think the other party have feelings

> C) They're not feeling the same way as you, could come from many factors (from daddy issues to online content overdose). They see relationships as a single-use coffee filter.

> D) They're bored of you. This strikes hard, you may think "I'm this fun package of a rave party, and you think I'm boring?" But some people just didn't see potential the way some people do. It's them too, in a way that's at fault.

So I recommend the occam's razor as to why would one end a relationship: They don't find anything on you that could be of use in their life, like, we wouldn't buy a diamond pickaxe if we have no diamond to axe and pick, do we? We wouldn't even look at it. But doesn't mean we're useless scraps of nothing. We're just not in the right places and time sometimes.

[Anonymous No.22399145]

>>22398944
Would you feel better if she just told you to fuck off? Or if she told you everything that she didn't like about you that made her leave you? All that it would acomplish is make both of you feel more shit.

[Anonymous No.22399151]

>>22399145
Shit this thread has made me feel sad more than watching poor children in Zimbabwe not gonna lie

[Anonymous No.22399154]

>>22399151
>I'm not here for self pity

[Anonymous No.22399157]

>>22399154
I'm just expressing my feelings amigo

[Anonymous No.22399159]

>>22399154
>>22399151
That’s not me. Op here. That’s random commenter. Not looking for pity. I know the chances were slim from the start.

[Anonymous No.22399170]

>>22398944
>>22398968
>dating your a year
>online gf
... Mate
>>22399079
Is mostly right, but is unkind to just say
>BPD hoes
>>22399097
>The original point of the thread really was to understand the female psyche more
Here's the problem: It's actually you and your expectations/perspective. If a woman loved you this would not have happened. Retards get love and "love" confused all the time (meaning, the "love" they imagine a woman has towards them, lmao).

[Anonymous No.22399171]

>>22399096
Impossible the state wants the taxes and the corporations want lowered wages and the schools are run by the teachers union (of women) and the banks are run by the jews and they like having double the credit cards and bank accounts collecting interest and fees

[Anonymous No.22399176]

>>22398968
fucking kek. this is pathetic dude

[Anonymous No.22399178]

>>22399176
Yeah? For you it’s pathetic. Until you’re involved in one.

[Anonymous No.22399187]

>>22399178
On the other end of this spectrum guys knock up the wrong woman and have to deal with having a kid with a mentally ill woman or just a shitty one. Some guys have kids with multiple women in this fashion. And then you have child support payments and logistical issues, pick ups, drop offs, now you can't move for work.

Go to the gym and lift weights listening to glassjaws first album. You never even busted in this woman.

[Anonymous No.22399190]

>>22399187
>do i think about this guy

[Anonymous No.22399192]

>>22398968
Top kek
Touch grass faggot

[Anonymous No.22399198]

>>22399190
Go to the gym and lift weights while listening to glassjaws first album you little girl do it out of spite and see where you are at in a year. Anger is a productive driving emotion, gayfag sadness is not productive. Work on your career and learn to dress while you're at it. You should be angry at yourself for wasting your time skyping a woman for a year and not getting a single crumb of pussy.

[Anonymous No.22399202]

>>22399192
Let me live faggot

[Anonymous No.22399207]

>>22399202
You aren't though. Real life starts tomorrow though right? You are planning on going to will do something later when things are finally set up it will get started because youre working on beginning to start doing thing?

[Anonymous No.22399209]

>>22398944
the fold hurts, everyone seethes

[Anonymous No.22399210]

>>22399178
Anon, as far as I'm concerned, women are looking for stability. They want a man out of college, rich, handsome, have a great body. Did you have any of these? I don't have a book to recommend you about women but it's pretty general that if you want a stable, real-life, non-online relationship, you have to fit certain threshold as to that you can think about the relationship rationally. Have confidence from yourself first then get a girlfriend. I won't say online platform like Tinder is entirely bullshit but you gotta know when you're really ready because dating is costly, marriage is costly, having a family is costly, having to send your kids to school is costly, this is why rich kids have the upper hand of the dating scene for the obvious reasons. Sorry if I assume wrong but that's what I conclude.

After that, with all the advantages you have, you choose a woman of your liking and don't settle for less. She may or not may reject you but first, don't reject yourself.

See >>22399187 and >>22399198

TED talk's over.

[Anonymous No.22399212]

>>22399202
That's what I am saying.
>online dating
Have some self respect for yourself stupid faggot

[Anonymous No.22399213]

>>22399212
Nta but Kek.
Online dating's dead to me.

t. Also ghosted

[Anonymous No.22399260]

women love
-alcohol
-sex
-money
-gossip
-public posturing
-having dozens of orbiters entertaining them for free

that's all. Women don't even love their kids. Kids are jsut a tool for them in order to smother them and delude themselves they are not loathsome.

You really have to understand women do only 2 things:
-with men they have sex
-and among women, they talk about the sex they had with men

there that's 100% the life of a woman .

[Anonymous No.22399277]

>>22399260
You forgot about buying shit

[Anonymous No.22399281]

>>22399260
What about housewives who do chores all day for their family?

[Anonymous No.22399300]

>>22398944
I'm going to assume you're 19 or 20. The other anons are (perhaps rightfully) ragging on you, but you seem inexperienced and not completely jaded yet like the rest of us, so I'll at least offer you this, having done long-distance before myself. An emotional connection isn't enough for most women, or men, for that matter, in the present day. After a while, they end up craving the "normal" parts of a relationship -- or, at least, they think they do, and that's typically enough to get them to look elsewhere. There are any number of reasons why a chick will ghost you now. But in your case, I imagine it's 'cause no one wants to waste their youth talking over the phone. Plus, if you stop growing or stop exciting a girl you have no physical connection with, she's even more likely to start looking elsewhere. It's just a shame she didn't have the decency to "break up" with you. She took the easy way out. But use this as valuable experience and find a girl you can be physically intimate with and connect emotionally with, too. You'll be happier in the end. Godspeed.

[Anonymous No.22399302]

>>22399281
Not him but Paglia made a good point once that back in the day all the women pitched in and did that kind of work together, like they'd all go to the river to do their families' laundry together and make a big event of it, with all the young girls half working half playing and tagging along to learn the ropes of being a domestic woman but also having the freedom to stray from the path and pick some daisies, and even the adult women would take it easy and chitchat and gossip the whole day like they still do now, so it wasn't really slave drudgery most of the time it was a whole "world" just for the women, away from the men. She says modern society took this away from them.

Women are a lot like niggers if you think of it, they just want to chill out. Hard work is foreign to them. It's a shame someone has to do all the work to keep the lights turning on and the trains running and so forth or else women and niggers having fun wouldn't be such a problem. But because this is real life, every woman/nigger you see loafing about and being redundant at her job is just 5 white men who had to work twice as hard that day to make up for their slack.

[Anonymous No.22399315]

>>22399302
>Not him but Paglia made a good point once that back in the day all the women pitched in and did that kind of work together, like they'd all go to the river to do their families' laundry together and make a big event of it, with all the young girls half working half playing and tagging along to learn the ropes of being a domestic woman but also having the freedom to stray from the path and pick some daisies, and even the adult women would take it easy and chitchat and gossip the whole day like they still do now, so it wasn't really slave drudgery most of the time it was a whole "world" just for the women, away from the men. She says modern society took this away from them.
Damn, that's fascinating and sad for women

I'm from 3rd world. Women still do chores all day but that's alienating as fuck at least for women from this perspective.

Also housewives love wash machines and all sort of electronic gadgets which make their work easy.
How I should interpret this?

[Anonymous No.22399330]

>>22399315
>Also housewives love wash machines and all sort of electronic gadgets which make their work easy.
>How I should interpret this?
If women could all hang out and do nothing but get wine drunk all day a good deal would. They work out of necessity and to fill up the time because most do not have a creative hobby.

[Anonymous No.22399354]

>>22398944
>Got ghosted after a year of dating some girl
you must have really fucked up
or she got bored and wanted a new dick

[Anonymous No.22399500]

>>22399000
Your fatal mistake, and the mistake that most men make, is focusing on one girl. You have to be spinning plates. You keep talking to that girl, but you cannot let her stop you from seeking other opportunities. You would be stupid to assume women do not do this. Level the field, friend.

[Anonymous No.22399544]

>>22398973
>Yes we never met irl
what?

[Anonymous No.22399569]

>>22398944
Here's an xkcd strip about it

[Anonymous No.22399630]

>>22399171
Self improove until you can get a decent woman who will bear you children. Marry her.
Develop a skill that is useful and leverage it (as well as other advantages you might have - family, welfare abuse, etc) into acquiring land and free time.
Use land and free time to raise high quality children. This will be very difficult so the children will have a double advantage of as rural/natural environment as you can give them, no school indoctrination, strong family, etc AND a difficult life of small means. Start them young on the same path you took - teach them your skills, fitness and health and a based worldview.
If possible group together with others who are likeminded. If this model proves to be stable, in a few generations it will be possible to have a parallel society. Not a complete one but a good enough one, like the Amish or Oranians in South Africa.
This is the only way to victory I can see.

[Anonymous No.22399733]

>>22398944
End of the Affair by Graham Greene may help you buddy

[Anonymous No.22400251]

>>22398968
Hey mate. I lived this scenario too. If you want to talk to someone about it I can send you a discord invite. For real I had a LDR and it fucked me up when it didn’t work.

[Anonymous No.22400283]

>>22398973
You sound like a crybaby faggot.
Women are for doing things with, not talking to.
I bet she was getting laid the whole year you were dating.

[Anonymous No.22400315]

>>22398973
>Yes we never met irl but still hurts just as much. I know it’s easy to clown long distance dating, but they’re valid in their own way and quite poignant because in the back of your head you know it’s difficult to make it last
Sucks man, I get it. But you have to understand that what you experienced were words floating around in the ether. You can say anything online, and it can be completely divorced from reality, and you'll never be able to figure it out nor find accountability. You can't have accountability when you can shape-shift whenever you need to.

Lick your wounds and do whatever it takes to move on king. You'll find somebody better suited soon.

[Anonymous No.22400532]

>>22399023
good shit

[Anonymous No.22400834]

>>22398973
>we never met irl
Why not? A whole year and you never met her? No wonder she ghosted you.

[Anonymous No.22400889]

>>22399029
I'm not agreeing with the overly pessimistic anons in the thread, but you are very young and naive, OP. Give yourself time, learn from this experience, and put yourself out there for a physical relationship (when you're ready)

[Anonymous No.22400904]

>>22399135
Stop posting these walls of doggerel armchair garbage. Seek help.

[Anonymous No.22400905]

Texted a girl for the first time the other day. Left me on read when I asked if she was interested in talking further. Still follows me on instagram and liked my recent picture. I don’t get it

[Anonymous No.22400914]

>>22400905
She's waiting to see if you double-message. If you do its over. If you don't care and do something else, she'll find a way to make it seem like she's messaging you out of the blue. Basically the more interested you appear, the less interested she is.

Literally ignore her until she messages you again.

[Anonymous No.22401180]

>>22400905
>>22400914
Ignore if even if she messages you again. Don't date bitches who play games. Don't even give them sex. It teaches them that game playing is okay.

[Anonymous No.22401302]

>>22398973
>yes we never met irl
Jesus, come on man
If this is a troll well done

[Anonymous No.22401310]

>>22401302
We were going to in the spring was close to buying a ticket

[Anonymous No.22401319]

>>22400905
>I don’t get it
See >>22399096
>.. even then probably most deals would not go through as the men would still be hesitant.
Average or even "above average" guys are perpetually in a bargaining position with women that is so bad that even a really good, statistically rare high level performance (like getting all the way to getting her number and even having a positive text exchange) is still merely average to them in the absolute scheme of things. Think about it this way, if they have a thousand A+'s to choose from, and hundreds of thousands of A-'s is an A- performance from you all that impressive? Or even an A+? Does it even stand out? You're still one of many, and naturally anyone with thousands of A+'s to choose from is going to think "what if there's an A++ or A+++ grade hidden in these thousands of A+'s, and I should really hold out for that?"

When you are spoiled for choices you act shitty. What to you was perhaps a once-in-six-months great hitting it off with a woman event was Thursday afternoon for her. You can't even fathom her experiences, what it's like to be her with her sense of her limitless options. That's why it's idiotic to try to analyze what specifically went wrong. Probably NOTHING went wrong. Would you ask why someone told to "pick any shiny apple you want" hovered her hand over one apple before ultimately picking another that looks functionally identical to her? You can at least tell why she didn't pick any of the terrible ones, but do you REALLY want to know what unconscious micro-decisions went into "this one hmm no this one hmm no actually this one" in that split second? Do you really think it will teach you something about how to be a shinier apple?

[Anonymous No.22401348]

>>22401310
Stupid as fuck on your behalf to get that invested into a long distance relationship in the first place. I hope you learn from this and don't repeat the same mistake twice, but from your posts attempting to justify and defend online relationships it seems like you probably won't.
Even if you do online dating you need to always push for a physical meeting ASAP. A lot of these guys even make the mistake of talking to the girl through messaging for a week or longer because it feels safer.

[Anonymous No.22401362]

>>22398944

Everything you need to know is in here.

[Anonymous No.22401363]

>>22401348
I don’t defend online dating, I wasn’t looking for it, I am not looking for it again. This was more serious than what you’re thinking. Again, I don’t recommend it. The chances are too slim to make work. You can genuinely forge a strong real connection with someone and cultivate a strong love online dating. Me mentioning the sincere cute moments that we bonded over isn’t me defending it. I knew getting in to it that it would be a bad idea, but the girl and I had an amazing chemistry.

[Anonymous No.22401377]

>>22401363
>This was more serious than what you’re thinking.
That actually makes it worse, not better. But anyways I was just using online dating as an example to show that even putting off meeting irl for as little as a week is a bad move, let alone an entire year.
So long as you aren't going to repeat the mistake there's nothing more to discuss though, that's all I was hoping to establish since it will directly benefit you going forward.

[Anonymous No.22402339]

>>22398973
She found some IRL dick, simple as.

[Anonymous No.22403140]

>>22398968
LOOOOOOOOOL and you fags say this is one of the smartest boards

[Anonymous No.22403303]

>>22398982
>You came with peace and left with PTSD.
You don't get PTSD from some girl you never met ghosting you. You actually need to have experienced some trauma.

[Anonymous No.22403341]

>>22398944
>>22398968
>>22398973
>>22399000
Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. You have no value as a human being. You're nothing. You had no goals. You had delusions and romantic notions that are antithetical to the entire concept of goals. If you had goals you would have a plan and if you had that you would realize the MASSIVE time sink that is the fruitless activity you indulged in. It's no surprise it ended. This isnt the 1820s with a year long courtship where letters inherently limited what was able to be conveyed. You talked ad naseuem for sake of whiling away what little free time you and her might have had. I've seen this in action in real life on two occasions. One friend met a girl online and ceased being a friend as he retreated into FaceTime calls bis daily which lasted upwards of four hours each. The other was successful but it went on quickly and now is so codependent and cucked. The vapid conversations of FaceTime daters that are successful are unchecked cringe. I've never seen women so deluded as to go on and on and on for sake of drawing out a conversation. I pop in and ask a simple question and get dragged into a half an hour one sided conversation about an banal triviality. This is not the same as the stereotypical female who at least has some crude pragmatism or bragging in mind about something interesting at least. These people aren't going to make it. This has serious professional consequences. There are boomers in their 60s that ramble and it's more bareable than long distance relationship "people" who coincidentally are more poorly socialized than autistic people who were home schooled. At least she cut the cord and realized you were a manchild wanting muh FaceTime at the expense of her studying. You'll amount to nothing. Get off this website, you're just a dumb normoid who thought he'd find sympathy here. You deserve nothing less than contempt.

[Anonymous No.22403710]

>>22402339
And that's a good thing

[Anonymous No.22404053]

>>22398973
>Yes we never met irl
stopped reading here

[Anonymous No.22404058]

>>22403341
based

[Anonymous No.22404067]

>>22398944
Yes the book is called self reflection anon.

[Anonymous No.22404077]

>dating a girl
What does that mean anglos?
Werr you going out for dinner and a movie for a whole year?
You werent "dating", you were either in a relationship, fucking on the side or in some bizzaro platonic ordeal that I dlwont even dare ponder upon.

[Anonymous No.22404173]

>>22398968
You disgust me. Go find a real human woman then come back and repost the OP.

[Anonymous No.22404198]

>>22398973
>long distance relationship
lol, lmao even

[Anonymous No.22405087]

>>22398944
Women are a commodity in a now globalized market. Every day the love of your life gets DMs on Instagram with literal offers from other men. How do you offers compare? I'm not only talking about money, but all other metrics too that go into the bidding equation. Health, status, youth, muscles, handsomeness, your friends, your activities, your attitude and so on.

A woman is only loyal to her own needs and if the child is lucky enough, to HER child's needs too.

A woman 100% of the time chooses being liked by a group over having values and standing up for them. So they just don't have values, like at all. It is all about being liked and not being abandoned. That is why they are so superficial. Will her social circle and the values it has (not her) be compatible with you?

Also women are fickle by nature by a lot. They will have experiences in life and extrapolate and generalize it in the most random manner. She can break up with you because you choose to wear a green Tshirt. It has no logic, she just associated it at some time in her life with something bad and has a kneejerk reaction about it.

Try to understand women and then give up on thinking about them forever. Thats the most attractive thing a guy can do anyway ironically.

[Anonymous No.22405098]

>>22405087
Basically this. To a women the social valuation outweighs everything.

[Anonymous No.22405109]

>>22398944
How to be a 3% man by Corey Wayne is all you need
>>22398973
Yeah you fucked up broski, she basically treated you like a girlfriend bff.

[Anonymous No.22405577]

>>22399023
>>22399096
>>22401319
lmfao nice incel manifesto loser

[Anonymous No.22405630]

>>22404077
Yeah you are hitting it right, so many are cucked beyond belief. If you aren’t going out and getting sex then you aren’t dating. Men have been duped into thinking talking and texting on the phone means something.

[Anonymous No.22405714]

>>22400905
Why are you asking her if she is interested in talking further? This isn't a legal proceeding. Whatever it is you were waiting for "confirmation" on, just do/say it next time. You cannot ask beforehand. I know, it's scary to act without confirmation that it's ok. You need to do so anyway. Imagine a friend asked you if you were interested in talking further instead of just asking you to hang out again. Maybe that's not off-putting to you per se, but I think you can agree that that is indicative of a highly anxious and analytical person at the very least. This is not blackpill "ooga booga take what is yours," but you need to not ask if it's ok before doing something. You just do it. "Want to go out?" etc.

[Anonymous No.22405734]

>>22405630
Never heard of esex?

[Anonymous No.22405738]

>>22398944
I have no idea what "dissimulation" is and it's insane to not think that men also ghost. There are varied reasons for ghosting. Considering your particularly situation, OP, and having read the entire thread, it's clear that she ghosted because of the simple fact that breaking up with/saying goodbye to someone is very painful. I don't know if you've ever broken up with someone before. It can be as hard as being broken up with. She chose to not say anything because she didn't have to due to the LD aspect. It's not more complicated than that, although a lot of the posts in this thread present compelling perspectives about more general behavior.

[Anonymous No.22405756]

>>22398944
Women are essentially pussy-merchants, their ancient vocation being the prostitute. As a merchant, they are very cut-throat when it comes to love. If you cease to be valuable to them, they will not hesitate to remove you from their lives.

[Anonymous No.22405874]

Boomers in this thread never heard of esex

[Anonymous No.22406099]

>>22405714
So, if I asked a girl if I can kiss her on lips, and then we kissed (I am not OP), what should I do to have sex on a 2nd date?

Instead of asking "hey, are u up tomorrow" what should I say? "Hey, you want to go home with me" if she agrees to see me? Serious question.

[Anonymous No.22406114]

>>22405734
esex is lame.

[Anonymous No.22406120]

>>22406099
Basically yes, you go out, have fun, make her laugh, enjoy yourself, blah blah. You kiss some more if it’s feeling right then just ask if she wants to go back to your place. If she says no just be indifferent about it but she’ll probably say yes if she’s into you and having a nice time .

[Anonymous No.22406121]

>>22406114
It’s fun actually with the right person you’re just lame and probably old

[Anonymous No.22406133]

>open up the catalogue
>read about half of some rant
>write this post
>get here
>consider deleting because I actually read the OP
>decide to leave it in

This seems genuine. I would recommend to you consume literature to help you understand the female psyche. But you're already making some big assumptions, that, so far as I can tell, are unwarranted at this point in your analysis of the situation.

I guess my starting question might be what you consider to be the darker side of the female psyche?

[Anonymous No.22406549]

>>22398973
>we never met

[Anonymous No.22406567]

>>22406121
And yet I have sex and you don’t.

[Anonymous No.22406576]

>>22398944
if you aren't giving girl anything positive (time, attention, money, power, status) that sufficiently makes up for your negative qualities, then she will not stay with you

just as you wouldn't stay with her if her positives didn't exceed negatives

simple as that

relationships are just as transactional as everything else. not good or bad, just is

[Anonymous No.22406623]

>>22405087
I agree, everyone should just become gay.
I don't know a book about making yourself gay but watching copious amounts of porn should do the trick, so half the population of this board is already half there.

[Anonymous No.22407067]

>>22398973
I was ghosted by an online friend after six years. I considered him one of my best friends given how we talked about everything from life to movies. I still don't know whether he died or simply moved on but at the end of the day, I learnt that offline relationships are the only thing that matters. If you didn't meet them and didn't have any plans to, your relationship was doomed to fail.

[Anonymous No.22407095]

>>22405087
This. I recommend everyone to read the Epicureans and focus on your male friendships. With that said, I still believe there are decent women but you won't find them online. If you didn't meet your gf through offline acquaintances then the odds are stacked against you.

[Anonymous No.22407663]

>>22398973
>a year dating
>strong mental emotional connection
>knew everything about eachother
It was only 1 year retard, you knew hardly anything about eachother
>called everyday for hours texted tons
Pussy lmao, friendzoned your dumbass early on
>never met irl
Jfc, get some respect for yourself

[Anonymous No.22407677]

>>22398944
oh, i guess they were complaining about a misunderstanding

[Anonymous No.22407726]

>>22398944
What kept you from meeting irl? Even if you were living on different continents, a flight can't cost more than 1k, probably less. How did you justify not meeting up for a year when you supposedly loved each other? Did she make excuses, were you too socially anxious? What was it?

[Anonymous No.22407732]

>>22398968
Don't feel bad, anon. She probably found someone in real life and felt it was too awkward to tell you about it so she just ghosted you. Or maybe she died. In any case, now you can get some real life pussy, as if that was worth anything.

[Anonymous No.22407850]

>>22405577
Thank you I'm always updating it with new ideas.

[Anonymous No.22408002]

>>22398944
The rational male by rollo tomassi, this is the book you were looking for

[Anonymous No.22408073]

>>22401363
>you can genuinely forge a stronge connection with someone and cultivate a strong love online dating
Now you cant lol you were just horny and desperate for connection so you fabricated it in your head
I guarantee she didnt love you at any point
>the girl and I had an amazing chemistry
No you didnt lol
She used you as an emotional tampon because you were willing to be her shoulder to cry on while she fucked chads every weekend

[Anonymous No.22408291]

>>22405714
I should mention that I come from a culture where courtship and marriage are common at young ages, every girl anticipates that men will pursue them on social media so that’s why I asked her. In hindsight it was still awkward to say but it was my first time and I was just being honest about the situation. She’ll be engaged within the next 2 years either way

[Anonymous No.22408300]

>>22398944
Yeah, Alan Harrington's Revelations of Dr. Modesto and The Secret Swinger.

[Anonymous No.22408436]

>>22398973
Long distance are risky. Women, unlike men, can't compartmentalize separation and are more easily affected by proximity i.e male attention close by

[Anonymous No.22408446]

>>22398973
>we never met irl
fantastic bait thread anon

[I ignore women No.22408524]

>>22398944
checked

[Anonymous No.22408577]

>>22398973
>yes we never met irl

You fucking idiot purposely left that out in your original post

and you know deep down that this is exactly the reason why she ghosted you, you never bothered to meet her

Gtfo off my board

[Anonymous No.22408940]

>>22408577
We couldn’t have because school. I was with her planning on finding a good time to meet. I was going to buy a ticket there. We were close to finding an appropriate date when we were both free. Then we start fighting; constant back and fourth. Got tiring

[Anonymous No.22409075]

>>22408940
Cuck lmao

[Anonymous No.22409085]

OP was a long distance cuckold. He might as well have astrally projected to prep the bull in his dreams every night. She was getting railed dude.

[Jon Kolner No.22409103]

>>22398944

[Anonymous No.22409261]

>>22409075
I’ve probably had more sex than you lol just not recently

[Anonymous No.22409266]

>>22409085
Nah she woulda told me

[Anonymous No.22409272]

>>22408436
This is true and another reason why I don’t recommend it

[Anonymous No.22409291]

Thanks for the tough love everyone, to the more thoughtful sensitive understanding replies thanks you too and for the book recommendations I’ll bookmark. Thanks. We’re all going to make it bro.

[Anonymous No.22409329]

>>22398968
Never do that again. Go outside and meet real people.

[Anonymous No.22409350]

>>22408436
Yeah this. Men are addicted to sex like niggers are addicted to crack, but women are addicted to attention and validation like niggers are addicted to crime and laziness.

One is a physical craving. The other is a whole ontological modality.

[Anonymous No.22409369]

>>22407726
>1k
imagine spending 1k on a woman when chad gets her for free LMAO

[Anonymous No.22409474]

>>22398973
Jesús you should have bought a plaine ticket and go meet her, and at least try to bone her, no wonder she ghost you, you aré a pussy women even if they dont say so they hate cowards.

[Anonymous No.22409521]

>>22409291
Godspeed anon

[Anonymous No.22409639]

>>22409261
You haven’t and if you’re in school, you’re basically a child so don’t brag about dumb shit like that
It makes you look stupid
Especially after admitting you spent the last year falling in love with a girl you’ve never met

[Anonymous No.22409641]

She was cheating on you and decided to commit to the new guy. She ghosted you because she didn't want to deal with a one-sided "breakup".

Read Casanova and you will understand that women are really very simple.

[Anonymous No.22409647]

>>22409350
TRUE. Heed these words OP., know them well. A girl will use you for validation and attention as long as she can which is why you have to pickup game. It’s specifically male attention that’s like crack to them, which is why women these days have been trying to psyop men into having platonic relationships and be le best friends. But they quickly will start treating you like a GIRLFRIEND, this distinction is CRUCIAL. Girls like to spend an hour on the phone and talk about their day nonstop and all this shit. MEN DO NOT DO THIS BULLSHIT. You try to setup a date and time to meet and if she says no you just walk away and go back to the grind/talking to others. Do not let these vampires suck your masculinity, this is why men are conquerors and leaders because of this special attribute. Women will try to siphon it from you so they can Girlboss harder. The good ones will be happy to go out and have fun and then fuck you on the 2-3rd date provided it goes well.

[Anonymous No.22409658]

>>22409647
All this talking and thinking about how ugly and cynical everything is between the sexes has made it impossible for me to love women. I can't think of people anymore and not see ugly cynicism thanks to the internet. Everything is so miserable. Nobody just loves anybody else.

[Anonymous No.22409734]

>>22409658
Nah it’s just realistic desu. The fact of the matter is most of these kind of girls will end up stepping on your heart whether they realize it or not. You have to move to protect yourself sometimes. There are good women out there, that’s not the point. But you ought to be educated on what to look for. This is how it’s always been too, just look at all the failed marriages around. It’s just that before they weren’t as aware and duty coped their way through everything. Then you see these decade long marriages end, and it’s like, if dumbass was paying attention he could have prevented this. It’s not all bad, we can have the type of relationships we want but we have to move correctly. There are good gals out there who are fun but even then you gotta play carefully, especially men because men tend to lick their wounds for months instead of moving on sooner.

[Anonymous No.22410557]

>>22409658
Talk like this is exactly why you have trouble with females
Imagine pouting like an effeminate child because mating involves competition and strategy
You’re right, nobody “just loves” anybody else except for your mommy
If you want a woman you need to bring something to the table, and if all you bring to the table is being her fucking gossip-buddy for hours on the phone every day, thats not a boyfriend, thats a girlfriend lmao
Use your head, be a man

[Anonymous No.22410937]

>>22409641
>>22410557
So what's out there for us? Just eternal loneliness?

[Anonymous No.22411025]

>>22410937
Just roid up loser? Get money get surgeries get cars and houses and bitches be slobberin'.

[Anonymous No.22411280]

>>22410937
Did you not read my post?>>22410557
You can find and keep a woman
You just need to bring something to the table
Get a good job, be ambitious, be in good shape, constantly be working towards goals and don’t ever get complacent
Women aren’t gonna love you unconditionally and you should stop pretending like you would love a woman unconditionally
You only love a woman if she is physically attractive, is loyal, and makes your life tangibly better

[Anonymous No.22411543]

>>22411280
you were really insightful to read, thanks man

[Anonymous No.22412322]

>>22408002
Rollo is a glue sniffing retard

[Anonymous No.22412462]

I would like a loli gf tbqh

[Anonymous No.22412601]

>>22399023
based
you are truly a sag3
tell us more please

[Anonymous No.22412631]

>>22398944
>Any books to help me understand the darker sides of the female psyche
You sound like a complete creep saying shit like that.

>I genuinely want to understand them better.
There's nothing to understand, moron. You meet girls, some are fun, some aren't. Ditch the ones that aren't.

This OP is a prime example of why humanity is going down the drain. Instead of going out and actually experiencing life, they prefer to read psuedo nonsense written by grifters and geeks, so they can craft some excuses for being miserable and scared.

It's pathetic. Stop acting like a fucking robot and just go out and LIVE, retard.

Do you really think reading some nitwit's advice on women is going to prepare you for the real world? Only experiencing, failing, and assessing will do that, you fucking cornflake.

[Anonymous No.22412650]

>>22412631
This is a completely worhtless response btw

[Jon Kolner No.22412658]

>>22412650
What do you want? It's woman bitching thread #048434234. Get over it and quit shitting up the catalogue.

[Anonymous No.22412695]

>>22412650
Seconding this
This post >>22412631 is retarded and worthless
Dude came to /lit/ for books about female psychology which is completely reasonable
Take your pseud /sig/ shit back to /fit/
Dude just wanted to educate himself and you take it as an opportunity to flex your supposed worldliness with women as if anyone here gives a shit lmao

[Anonymous No.22412709]

>>22398973
This feels as if it was written by me Anon, which is strange because it would be the second time I find another guy in the same boat. I know it hurts like hell, the other guy even told me he had to get admitted into the psych ward but after months of reflection the clear answer is that we were being toyed with. Woman more than anything need attention and that makes these terminally online BPD Lain poster egirls so dangerous since they are willing to be intimate and over share with any mildly interesting guy on dms, actions which for us feel bonding and special but for them its needed to fulfill socialization quotas, in the end females are as lonely as males so they use the Internet to vent and seek intimacy. She told me several times that she loved me which I believe it was true but more than anything I was her gay best friend. In my case it was me who blocked her since it was clear she didn't wanted anything real and I was aware she was starting to do the same thing to other guys. Although the most painful experience in my life I'm glad it happened. For book recs I'm currently reading Rayuela by Cortazar which have pretty realistic depictions of relationships in general

[Anonymous No.22412723]

>>22412631
>>22412658
made me kek

[Anonymous No.22412760]

>>22412709
Imagine being admitted to a psych ward over getting friendzoned lmao

[Anonymous No.22413207]

>>22412760
People itw have never online dated or had esex and it shows. Normalfaggots

[Anonymous No.22413911]

>>22413207
Imagine going to uni, being in the midst of a 4:6 male:female ratio populated almost entirely by nubile women aged 18-22, and taking the opportunity to fall in love with your fucking pen-pal lmao