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/lit/ - Literature

File: 44 KB, 948x1086, John_Green_custom-912a0be92914ab07c29e84c0d30a871a90afa9ab-s6-c30.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:32:12 2023 No.22263202 [Reply] [Original]

You strive to attain monetary success through literature, anon? Take the John Green pill.
>Step 1: Locate the most popular genre
>Step 2: Imbed all reigning mores and platitudes of popular culture within said genre
>Step 3: Create a niche within said genre - the more pathetic and tragic, the better
>Step 4: Rehash the same basic plot for all your books, adjusting the mores and platitudes as/if they change
>Step 5: Profit
Simple as

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:33:58 2023 No.22263207 John Green specifically said he wants women to have at least 30 previous partners before he dates them.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:35:25 2023 No.22263212 Just do what Sanderson or Martin do. They churn out escapist fantasy and made for TV soap drama. That’s probably more fun than the soulless trash Greene churns out.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:35:34 2023 No.22263213 incoming cheerios

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:41:31 2023 No.22263232 >>22263202 writing YA romance as a grown man is seriously so pathetic and embarrassing, let alone creepy

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:44:35 2023 No.22263249 >>22263202 KEK

Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:45:31 2023 No.22263254

>>22263202
His writing is genuinely good though:
>When I was little, my dad used to tell me, “Will, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” This seemed like a reasonably astute observation to me when I was eight, but it turns out to be incorrect on a few levels. To begin with, you cannot possibly pick your friends, or else I never would have ended up with Tiny Cooper. Tiny Cooper is not the world’s gayest person, and he is not the world’s largest person, but I believe he may be the world’s largest person who is really, really gay, and also the world’s gayest person who is really, really large. Tiny has been my best friend since fifth grade, except for all last semester, when he was busy discovering the sheer scope of his own gayness, and I was busy having an actual honest-to-God Group of Friends for the first time in my life, who ended up Never Talking to Me Again due to two slight transgressions: 1. After some school-board member got all upset about gays in the locker room, I defended Tiny Cooper’s right to be both gigantic (and, therefore, the best member of our shitty football team’s offensive line) and gay in a letter to the school newspaper that I, stupidly, signed. 2. This guy in the Group of Friends named Clint was talking about the letter at lunch, and in the process of talking about it, he called me a bitchsquealer, and I didn’t know what a bitchsquealer was, so I was like, “What do you mean?” And then he called me a bitchsquealer again, at which point I told Clint to fuck off and then took my tray and left. Which I guess means that technically I left the Group of Friends, although it felt the other way around. Honestly, none of them ever seemed to like me, but they were around, which isn’t nothing. And now they aren’t around, leaving me utterly bereft of social peers. Unless you count Tiny, that is. Which I suppose I must.

Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:50:10 2023 No.22263276

>>22263202
>>22263207
>>22263212
>>22263213
>>22263232
>>22263249
>>22263254
Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with? No and it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this than men. Also, it's such a weird thing to care about. Like imagine if I started eating Cheerios for breakfast, would Cheerios be like, 'I'm the 48th cereal you've tried eating?! I don't feel special!' Well then screw you, Cheerios. I can't go into the past and un-eat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your whole-grain crunch.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:52:06 2023 No.22263282 >>22263276 malding

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 19:56:08 2023 No.22263298 >>22263232 Why let it ruffle up your feathers, you dig? Green rolls the nickels with his game. He's the master of it.

Anonymous Fri Jul 14 21:24:27 2023 No.22263609

>Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
Mathematically true, read Cantor. Practically devoid of meaning.
>The marks humans leave are too often scars.
What other kind of marks do humans leave?
>Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.
Simp.
>So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.
Simp.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 21:31:21 2023 No.22263635 The future will look back at our era as a dark age for literature.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 21:40:46 2023 No.22263670 File: 1.11 MB, 244x160, 1579644175003.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22263202 >You strive to attain monetary success through literature, anon? no I write for God and myself, not money

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 21:42:11 2023 No.22263678 File: 491 KB, 419x455, 1637621203390.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22263254 fucking hell

Anonymous Fri Jul 14 21:42:59 2023 No.22263682
File: 91 KB, 600x798, 1672542771377796.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities," I said. "What do you mean?" she asked me. "You see my bowl of cheerios?" "Yes," she replied. "Imagine if the bowl was infinite. You would need infinite cheerios to fit in the bowl too, right?" "Of course," she said. "Well, the bowl is still bigger than the cheerios inside it, logically speaking. Therefore, there are two infinities: the infinite bowl and the infinite cheerios, but the infinity of the bowl is bigger. Now suppose you filled an infinite bowl with every dick you've ever taken, and it overflowed the bowl so that the infinity of dicks you've taken is bigger than the infinity of cheerios AND the infinite bowl. I would still love you." "Do you really mean it?" she said. "You bet. If I'm drizzle, and you take a hurricane of dick, I'll still give anything to lie down beside you." Hazel was cry.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 21:43:50 2023 No.22263683 >>22263276 >40 men have dipped their dicks into this bowl of cheerios you say? >doesnt bother me at all

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 21:57:33 2023 No.22263734 >>22263682 >Hazel was cry lmfao

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 22:05:52 2023 No.22263756 >>22263276 hold men to the same standard, then.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 22:21:33 2023 No.22263807 >>22263202 I don't think John Green is trying to actively exploit his readers for money, I think his books really are just that vapid and angsty.

Anonymous Fri Jul 14 22:39:57 2023 No.22263860

I hate that he ruined hospital romance for me.
>Augustus gives Hazel The Price of Dawn, and Hazel recommends An Imperial Affliction, a novel about a cancer-stricken girl named Anna that parallels Hazel's own experience. After Augustus finishes reading her book, he is frustrated upon learning that the novel ends abruptly without a conclusion, as if Anna had died suddenly. Hazel explains the novel's author, Peter van Houten, retreated to Amsterdam following the novel's publication and has not been heard from since.
>Upon meeting Van Houten, Hazel and Augustus are shocked to discover that he is a mean-spirited alcoholic. Horrified by Van Houten's hostile behavior towards the teenagers, Lidewij confesses to having arranged the meeting on his behalf. Lidewij resigns as Van Houten's assistant and takes Hazel and Augustus to the Anne Frank House, where Augustus and Hazel share their first kiss.
wtf. What does Anne Frank even have to do with the rest of the story

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 22:44:03 2023 No.22263872 File: 322 KB, 765x570, cheerios.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22263202

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 14 22:50:41 2023 No.22263886 File: 133 KB, 1280x800, 46781293.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] All jokes aside though, how many 14 year olds do you think he's fucked?

Anonymous Sat Jul 15 00:49:52 2023 No.22264308 [SPOILER]

File: 830 KB, 3500x2400, Knights in Grey.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22263860
>wtf. What does Anne Frank even have to do with the rest of the story

Too much of a fucking milquetoast faggot to just write a proper romance about Anne Frank, unlike >>>/his/

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 01:03:58 2023 No.22264330 >>22263254 Lol. I can actually see why this is so appealing to a certain demographic. It's like Reddit and quirky women had a baby

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 08:18:24 2023 No.22265401 John Green, his brother, the postets ITT and this thread are all gigantic faggots. Nothing discussed here is more than a circle jerk. Youtube is a terrible medium for intellectual pursuits. Kys OP. Never make a john green thread again.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 08:31:03 2023 No.22265414 >>22263886 >14 Insufficiently pre-dicked for John.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 08:35:29 2023 No.22265421 >>22263756 stop using virgin as an insult for men, then

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 08:54:05 2023 No.22265451 File: 184 KB, 2358x623, John Green.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] /lit/ already figured out John Green a few years ago.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 14:41:49 2023 No.22266176 >>22265421 i don't i'm an volcel :3

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 20:35:12 2023 No.22267348 >>22263254 Is this AI?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 20:53:47 2023 No.22267426 >>22265414 Not if he's friends with guys like Epstein. Then his 14 year old girls will be sufficiently koshered by circumcised Jew wiener for his liking.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 21:57:54 2023 No.22267689 >>22263635 The future may not look back at all. There may not be a future. It may be a continuous slide into tech dystopia until a neoBronze Age collapse wipes it all away.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 15 22:30:17 2023 No.22267844 File: 355 KB, 1000x927, 5pcs-Lot-Soft-Lures-Swimbait-8-5cm-11-5g-Lead-Fishing-lure-Wobbler-Saltwater-Artificial-Bait.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22263254

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 16 00:23:43 2023 No.22268273 >>22263254 >jocks read the school newspaper

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 16 00:29:18 2023 No.22268293 >>22263276 You can't catch HPV from Cheerios retard

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 16 01:53:17 2023 No.22268499 >>22263682 >Hazel was cry. Kek. Lost on the last line.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 16 02:02:33 2023 No.22268530 >>22266176 You are an incel (I am also an incel)

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 16 02:21:28 2023 No.22268566 >>22263254 This is like reading from millennials mewling on twitter while drunk jesus fuck it's bad.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 16 13:24:25 2023 No.22269969 >>22263254 >gay That's pretty funny.

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