/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.22261282]

Give me the best limerick you can write right now

[Anonymous No.22261290]

There was a man from Nanfucket
Who bought a Chicken McFucket
He ate a little bit
But it tasted like shit
So he threw it in the trash bucket

[Anonymous No.22261293]

>>22261290
Thanks

[Anonymous No.22261302]

>>22261282
We knows OP's a faggot
All board knows he guzzles
Like thirsty cum maggot
We knows, there are no puzzles

[Anonymous No.22261310]

>>22261282
Once there was a Chinese dinner
However the Chinese dinner saunter
'd off somewhere there was no way
There was no way
To find the Chinese dinner it was a goner

[Anonymous No.22261314]

>>22261302
>>22261310

[Anonymous No.22261321]

There once was a fellow named Sprocket
Who had fallen in love with a rocket
The service port hole
Smelled a lot like a mole
Regardless, it was quite a good cockpit

[Anonymouṡ No.22261327]

>>22261282
If you like limericks, you could look up my quiz from May last year. 100 book more-or-less cryptic book summaries, in limerick form. Some were guessed, some weren't. Here are ten:


A teacher's emotional strife
Is mute but intense when his wife
(Who should visit a shrink)
Drives his daughter to drink
And he loses the love of his life.


This novel has humour and woe,
A hero who's taking life slow,
Itinerants, felons,
A lover of melons,
And hundreds of words you don't know.


A chap enigmatic and dapper
Yearns hopelessly after a flapper:
His eagerness hurts
When he woos her with shirts
While the reader wants only to slap her.


This book isn't hard. It's a breeze:
Just follow four siblings. Of these,
One's hate makes us shiver,
One jumps in the river,
One's dopey and one smells of trees.


A schoolboy's no scholar, but foxy:
Through knowledge of people and moxie
And shrewd common-sense
He can whitewash a fence
With the strenuous part done by proxy.


Is this an artistic success,
Or just a grandiloquent mess?
It wows us and woos us
With words which amuse us,
All sandwiched by stately and yes.


To deaden the post-sixties pain,
A journalist scrambles his brain
With a vast potpourri
Of grass, beer, LSD,
Ether, mescaline, rum and cocaine.


This novel's a cute miscellania
Of incidents zany then zanier,
When two boozy friends
Try to iron out the bends
In the border of south Pennsylvania.


A shopkeeper, humble and poor,
Sells knick-knacks from decades before,
Whilst occultists say
That America may
Not have lost in the Second World War.


Though much modern verse is maligned,
This work is quite rightly enshrined:
In twelve words we feel
All the timeless appeal
Of a ravening beast unconfined.

[Anonymous No.22261333]

>>22261314
I don't understand metrical feet. I don't hear the rhythm.

[Anonymouṡ No.22261337]

>>22261282
If you like limericks, you could look up my quiz from May last year. 100 more-or-less cryptic book summaries, in limerick form. Some were guessed, some weren't. Here are ten:


A teacher's emotional strife
Is mute but intense when his wife
(Who should visit a shrink)
Drives his daughter to drink
And he loses the love of his life.


This novel has humour and woe,
A hero who's taking life slow,
Itinerants, felons,
A lover of melons,
And hundreds of words you don't know.


A chap enigmatic and dapper
Yearns hopelessly after a flapper:
His eagerness hurts
When he woos her with shirts
While the reader wants only to slap her.


This book isn't hard. It's a breeze:
Just follow four siblings. Of these,
One's hate makes us shiver,
One jumps in the river,
One's dopey and one smells of trees.


A schoolboy's no scholar, but foxy:
Through knowledge of people and moxie
And shrewd common-sense
He can whitewash a fence
With the strenuous part done by proxy.


Is this an artistic success,
Or just a grandiloquent mess?
It wows us and woos us
With words which amuse us,
All sandwiched by stately and yes.


To deaden the post-sixties pain,
A journalist scrambles his brain
With a vast potpourri
Of grass, beer, LSD,
Ether, mescaline, rum and cocaine.


This novel's a cute miscellania
Of incidents zany then zanier,
When two boozy friends
Try to iron out the bends
In the border of south Pennsylvania.


A shopkeeper, humble and poor,
Sells knick-knacks from decades before,
Whilst occultists say
That America may
Not have lost in the Second World War.


Though much modern verse is maligned,
This work is quite rightly enshrined:
In twelve words we feel
All the timeless appeal
Of a ravening beast unconfined.

[Anonymous No.22261340]

>>22261321
Young fellow*
Although, it was quite…*
These work better

[Anonymous No.22261376]

>>22261282
There was a man from Brazil,
Who took a certain pill.
He then grew tits,
Cut off his bits,
And now he goes by Jill.

[Anonymous No.22261391]

>>22261314
Boardmen sang of OP's mother
How she suck'd and fuck'd
All who on this thread had gather
Sang of how her son was cuck'd

[Anonymous No.22261611]

There once was a woman named Rupi
whose skin was the color of poopy
Her poetry's shit
But somehow a hit
The publishing world has gone loopy