I just shit myself

[Anonymous No.22219581]

Books for this feel?

[Anonymous No.22219589]

[Anonymousn No.22219604]

I forget the title but there's a great Eve Sedgwick essay about how autodefecation opens up a space of self-expression and self-creation
that covertly undermines the normal face/mouth/speech circuit. Using Henry James's The Golden Bowl as her case study, and she makes a compelling argument that -- if you read carefully between the lines -- many of the novel's characters are 'shitting themselves' in the metaphorical sense of loosening the orifices of control that heterosexist society sets up between 'inner' affective experience and 'outer' public presentation, but also just shitting themselves literally, as hinted at by James's language, syntax etc.

[Anonymousn No.22219613]

I forget the title but there's a great Eve Sedgwick essay about how autodefecation opens up a space of self-expression and self-creation
that covertly undermines the normal face/mouth/speech circuit. Using Henry James's The Golden Bowl as her case study, and she makes a compelling argument that -- if you read carefully between the lines -- many of the novel's characters are 'shitting themselves' in the metaphorical sense of loosening the orifices of control that heterosexist society sets up between 'inner' affective experience and 'outer' public presentation, but also just shitting themselves literally, and constantly, throughout various scenes and episodes, as hinted at by James's language, syntax etc.

[Anonymous No.22219614]

>>22219604
So you're saying that I'm actually being avant-garde by poopooing my pants (I am not wearing underwear, obviously)

[Anonymousn No.22219632]

>>22219614
You are bravely embracing new practices of queer joy, and I, though extremely continent and hygienic myself, salute you as an ally, and will allude to you in the acknowledgements section of my next book (in mentioning 'my many revelatory conversations with autodefecation activists at the forefront of the struggle').

[Anonymous No.22219648]

>>22219581
I vaguely remember a Dutch book where two people were so attracted to each other they simultaneously shat themselves. I haven't read it, but it was a bit of a meme for a short period around 2008.

[Anonymous No.22219710]

>>22219632
I am not a faggot, faggot
>>22219648
Why are the d*tch like this?

[Anonymous No.22219735]

>>22219710
As far as I remember most Dutch people didn't like it either. What made it even funnier is that the woman who wrote it was a huge snob, constantly criticizing the works of others.

[Anonymous No.22220020]

>>22219735
Why are w*men like this?

[Anonymous No.22220203]

>>22219604
I don't know exactly what this post was but I'm guessing it was really good and jannies are on the wrong side of history.

[Anonymous No.22220227]

>>22219581
Plot twist: the mole pooped on himself

[Anonymous No.22220343]

>>22220203
No, anon, the pooster deleted it himself due to a typo or something and reposted immediately, but I caught him in the act and (You)'d him in the process
Rather, I caught him with his shit in his hand
You are right in your ASSumption, however, the jannies can, indeed, go fuck themselves

[Anonymous No.22220484]

>>22220343
Oh, I ASSumed it was a webm of a girl taking a shit or something of that nature.

[Anonymous No.22220589]

>>22220227
This was the first book I read in German (I'm a learner) and had no clue what it was. Couldn't believe it was about shitting lol. Fucking Germans.

[Anonymous No.22220632]

>>22220589
German engineering and science is the worst in the world. Of all """""developed""""" nations, they stand the lowest. You may be thinking to yourself, "how can that be? The germans have their cars and Volkswagens and their autobhans and whatnot. The german war machine in both world wars was a great feat of science and engineering." And it may have been, however, one does not judge a culture's engineering based upon their greatest accolades, but rather upon the lowest, most base necessity it creates- the toilet.

The german toilet is the lowest calibur of toilets imagineable. It somehow manages to be worse than an indian toilet, which is literally just a street. It accomplishes this because it is a deciever(much like the german people themselves). The indian toilet design does not intend to mislead the onlooker. It proclaims boldly "look at our undeveloped shithole of a country, we are stuck in the middle ages and we refuse to advance." The german toilet is based in trickery(much like the jews the germans claim so much to dispise). On the outside it presents an image similar to french toilets, and to english toilets, and to American toilets. Though, on the inside, it is a parody of them; A sick joke- an affront to man. The other toilets of the world are designed to lovingly recieve the poo and kindly shelter it in a shallow water grave. The water masks the scent of said poo, and often the sight of it too. Afterall, humans are not animals that enjoy their feces as a passtime. However, the same cannot be said about the germans. The germanic toilet receives the shit onto a plate of porcelain, as if it were some holy thing. The nostrils of the germans are then saturated wholly by the unappologetic turd, an aspect they must enjoy. As they stand and turn, their eyes are confronted with the shit in its full glory (which is none at all). The doo-doo rests upon this plate, unsheltered by water and exposed to the atmosphere until the german is ready to flush, but no-not yet. First he can call his fellow german friends and show them, "look at what I have created, the toil of my hands."

[Anonymous No.22220635]

>>22220632
Poo is the german mans art and song. Other cultures paint with colored pastes and oils, but the germans satisfy their innate desire for something greater by their shits. Once the german is done worshipping the poop, he begins the next phase of the ritual. It is true that it is healthy for one to examine one's poops, to make sure that there is nothing wrong in one's digestive system. Though, the germans take this entirely too far. The ingenuity of the german toilet allows them to study and chronicle their shits unabashed. Many germans will keep a notepad and pen in their bathroom, as well as other tools of the trade, such as measuring tape and a magnifying glass, to help with the documentation of the data. In the modern day, several pictures and videos are taken of the poop for future reference. Some more devout germans will take a sample of the shit, a shit-sample, if you will, and secure it in a vial for storage. Once the poop-log is complete, the german engages in the next part of their unholy ritual. Although the german toilet is awful when you compare it to the rest of the world, it does accomplish its primary directive very well. Even if it is unfathomable to us humans, for the german animal it is a boon. The german does not have to transfer the poo onto a dinner plate and travel to the kitchen before eating it- as they would have to do with civilized toilets. Rather, the germans can kneel down, inhale deeply, equip the fork and knife, and begin eating directly out of the bowl. The only difference between german food and a german's shit is the price, and you cant beat free. When you take a step back and look at the german way of life, their toilet actually makes a lot of sense. It allows them to complete their ritual, and even enhances their shitting experience. Though, if a human were using this device, they would have a bad time.

[Anonymous No.22220637]

>>22220635
Now that we have talked about why the german toilet is a shit tier toilet, let us delve into the positives aspects of the german design. (Positive for non-germans)

There are none

Transitional phrase into the conclusion

In conclusion, the germanic toilet allows the german creature to enjoy, study, and consume their own shit, as is their desire. The rest of the world might find this abhorrent, just like the rest of the things the germans do, however we must not forget that we too were once primitive and unlearned. We too were once children of a bygone age. Perhaps, one day, we can see the evolution of the germans first hand, we can watch them ascend into their own humanity. Butt for now, really, what else can you expect from shit-eaters

[Anonymous No.22220768]

>>22220632
>>22220635
>>22220637
Kek. I appreciate a shitpost with some effort nice job anon

[Anonymous No.22220773]

>>22220768
Thank you, anon :3