/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.22182047]

Previous:
>>22172390

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
>https://youtu.be/pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://youtu.be/whPnobbck9s
>https://youtu.be/YAKcbvioxFk

Thread Theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLfFpgxwOPU

[Anonymous No.22182097]

Pro tip:
Start

[Anonymous No.22182109]

Wrote the prologue to my crime novel. It's a police press conference, where they say that a string of horrific murders has been finally stopped, and while they won't name any names just yet, there were five young men involved. Two of them were arrested, two were killed, and one got away. Other vague details are given as well.
And then chapter 1 begins with 5 young men getting together and planning a crime.
What I want is to use the prologue to set up a sense of approaching doom, and to vaguely foreshadow the fates of the lead characters. We don't know who gets what end, so the reader can see it play out.

[Anonymous No.22182114]

>>22182047
What an ugly painting.

[Anonymous No.22182220]

>prewrote
>20 chapters ahead of readers
>i'm hype for shit they won't learn about for months
what a unique feel. but man, trad queries are so lonely compared to having live readers who can comment in real time. this is addicting. tired of writing for form rejections.

[Anonymous No.22182234]

>>22182097
>Start
How?

[Anonymous No.22182240]

>>22182097
I did start! I've written 1331 words today.
I'm writing a short story about a man who has been a "university student" for 25 years without even completing a bachelor's degree. He has not worked a day in his life, is 43, still lives with his mother and suffers from a rare genetic condition that leaves him with a deformity in his right foot that he uses as an excuse for a sedentary lifestyle.
The story is told in first person by a journalist who interviews him after he (unsuccessfully) tried to sue the university for discrimination.

[Anonymous No.22182273]

>>22182240
Oh, and he's called Gimlin Patterson.

[Anonymous No.22182334]

>>22182114
Not sorry it doesn't have enough ass and tiitties for you.

[Anonymous No.22182344]

>>22182334
No, bad color choice, stupid barroque lighting for something that is supposed to be "epic and romantic". Ugly.

[Anonymous No.22182453]

>>22182344
>seething
>can't spell "baroque"
illiterate
opinion discarded

[Anonymous No.22182530]

Trying to go for a surrealist fantasy vibe sort of thing with the imagery. Not trying to make this a 1000 paged doorstopper, think this will be a short work say around 100pages or so don't know why people now feel the need for every fantasy book to be a doorstopper but I'm thinking they want the Netflix money

[Anonymousn No.22182568]

>>22182530
I like it. It reminds me of a classic gothic novel I'm reading right now, Melmoth the Wanderer.

My feedback is that 'Those were the first two questions' is very inelegant. Maybe you could do something like 'Who am I? But more importantly, where am I? All I knew was that I had just woken up on the cold ...'

Also the sentence starting 'I turned towards' has too many different ideas in it. Especially as this is a foggy-headed guy presumably recovering from some kind of unhallowed hangover. I would try chopping it up into shorter sentences.

The surreal flashbacks are what lift this beyond generic for me, particularly the 'giant egg' and the fact that the hands throttle him 'gently'.

[Anonymous No.22182579]

>>22182453
>can't automatically exchange something for scene/painting/construction
It is ugly.
>le baroque is le gud
I like the style, but this is not a classic baroque painting.for the exact reason that it is ugly. I'm sorry, things are what they are. You are probably some whatever Christ stuff St George zealot, so be it. But you should get a better painting of him, I'm sure there are plenty of those.

[Anonymous No.22182584]

>>22182568

The "Who am I?" at the start was just a reference to Nadia. I like Gothic fiction but I've never read Melmoth even though it's been on my list for quite a while I'll make that the next book I check out.

[Anonymous No.22182612]

https://gaspardaveline.substack.com/p/water-depot

Worth continuing?

[Anonymous No.22182685]

>>22182344
That sort of composition is typical of baroque paintings.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baroque_painting
Perhaps you need more education.
And who are you to criticize Peter Paul Rubens?
Post one of your own paintings, arrogant ass.

[Anonymous No.22182746]

A few questions for you guys

How would you guys go about writing a relationship bwteen 3 people? Knowingly (1 dates 2 or all 3 date each other)

How would you do jumps in time/time skips/flash backs (I.e having the reader know it is a time skip/flash back) I heard some say its hard to do on the page but not in flim or tv

How would you write an overdose? 1.5 part to the question if you were to write adderall but extremely refined (I.e hyper focused on something) How would you write an overdose for it, I was thinking the person lays very very still with big pupils and if the OD goes too far because their body is frozen their hard stops or their lungs stop breathing.

[Anonymous No.22182785]

I have a superhero story, I want to do it as a comic but such a thing gets expensive when you start talking about paying artists and whatnot. Is there any pathway to success for superhero novels? Should I just bite the bullet and do a comic?

[Anonymous No.22182806]

>>22182685
The actual good ones, that one doesn't look that great.
>you have to love this stupid painting or make a better one
I'm just saying that it is an ugly one.
https://artsandculture.google.com/story/SgVBme2FdD0WIw?hl=pt-BR
>ctrl+f
>peter paul rubens
>not found
I'm not saying that he is horrible, but that painting isn't one of the best ones.

[Anonymous No.22182821]

>>22182746
>hey guys, write my story for me
just write it nigga, like holy shit just start writing

[Anonymous No.22182829]

>schizo now arguing over a Flemish BBW enthusiast instead of AI art
I wonder what it will be next

[Anonymous No.22182835]

>>22182785
>Is there any pathway to success for superhero novels?
yes
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SuperheroStories/WebOriginal

[Anonymous No.22182842]

>Me writing several pages and then returning the next day to see if they hold up

[Anonymous No.22182851]

>>22182746
You've asked this before.
Either write what you know, or do some research.
We are not your research team.

[Anonymous No.22182863]

this picture is really evocative. I want to write about this place

[Anonymous No.22182864]

>>22182842
same vibes anon. at least today im pretty happy with what i wrote during my late night buzz.

[Anonymous No.22182874]

>>22182334
The faces look bad and the lady in the back has broken her neck

[Anonymous No.22182883]

>>22182829
>ugly painting is le ugly
>what about le aberration?
I just said it is ugly.

[Anonymous No.22182889]

>>22182863
Only if an ancient lake troll arises and causes untold destruction.

[Anonymous No.22182978]

>>22182109
If you lay it on too thick, it will come off gimmicky.

[Anonymous No.22182991]

this one was good

[Anonymous No.22183036]

>>22182864
It's tough. I try to be really critical of my own work, because then I figure it'll not be so bad when someone else judges it. I don't know though.

[Anonymous No.22183209]

>>22182047
Transmogrify

The consequences of a rapidly evolving world with little oversight and on purpose sabotage for monetary gain was growing more and more evident with each generation of the Modern Man. No longer was Man able to afford a house and supplement a lifestyle worthy of a single job. Increasingly, Man found himself disconnecting with the world outside for the superficial morality and set of values was starting to become apparent; Coupled with the demoralization brought on by the media's constant filling the nation with stodgy stories of sky rocketing crime, it was no surprise at all that Man had started to lose his once proud identity in believing to aspire than more just his self.

To Darby, there was a simmering rage beneath the thin veneer of a civilized Man that was palpable even to him. So, it was no surprise when a worldwide EMP was unleashed by a rogue faction of government, that the rage had finally found an outlet to be unleashed upon. It engulfed and completely consumed even the meek. Streets ran crimson with the blood of the fallen and the air was filled with the cacophony of those losing their souls to the dark pleasure of a world with no more restraints.

To Darby, it was no surprise at all that the tensions had finally come to an explosive tipping point, and he had prepared for it as best as he could as he wondered through the now made real necropolis of his fever dreams. Seeing the stark brutality of the new world with his own eyes, did not make him wish for the old world. He could not surmise a valid reason that would make sense why but to Darby, it was a chance that when this dark age would be over Man would have learned from his folly and not repeat a generational mistake and let it grow like a cancer again.

His faith in that was secure and immovable like a force of nature, even as he took part in the necessary evil to live. It was only that. Necessary. And only a suicidal fool would dare deny that, only a fool stuck in the decay of the old ways.

As Darby made his way to the highest point in the city, he mused in his battered mind that at least today there was a partial silence, enough to hear his own thought. He climbed the fifty flights of stair with ease, having done so a myriad of times. It only gets easier for him as he built the stamina and muscle. He likened it to Jacob's Ladder. When he finally reached the top, he went to the railing and let the cool wind caress his sweat soaked face like a gentle lover and gazed out at the necropolis. When he was satisfied, he closed his eyes and simply whispered "kyrie eleison," before opening his eyes again and touching the orthodox cross he planted on the railing. Letting God see the world as it is.

And letting God know that Man still believed in more than just his-self

[Anonymous No.22183228]

Do I actually have to consider making my protagonist gay in order to get my book published or is /wg/ memeing with talk like that

[Anonymous No.22183237]

>>22183228
No, you do not have to actually do that.

[Anonymous No.22183242]

>>22183228
It's more of a shortcut to getting published.
And it's worse than gay—your MC will have to be trans, and you'll have to drop hints about how this book is "your authentic truth".
The Establishment has gone insane, and are trying to create reality to conform to their bizarre whims and mental illness.
You can either go along with it, or try to succeed on your own.
Personally, I'd rather fail than succeed like that. I still have to live with myself, after all.

[Anonymous No.22183268]

Would people actually want to read about corporate nihilism with a veneer of cyberpunk aesthetic? Strung along with exasperated humor about the pointlessness of modern life?

It's relieving to write it, borderline therapeutic. But who wants nihilism?

[Anonymous No.22183273]

>>22183268
>But who wants nihilism
That's literally the one thing people want from indie writers
If people wanted motivation or simple fun they'd consume [Trusted Brand] products

[Anonymous No.22183275]

I have never been on this board before but I come for advice. I used to write a lot in my 20's but job and life got in the way for almost a decade.

Now I'm at a point where I can write again but I've lost the imagination completely. I literally sat down and tasked myself with "describe a forest" today and I couldn't do it.

I read my old shit (nearly 300 pages) from almost a decade ago and I could have written novels.

How the fuck do I get it back?

[Anonymous No.22183276]

>>22183228
I hope you fail because you go to 4chan for legitimate advice. The people here are the lowest society has to offer, as demonstrated by >>22183242
Anyway, is every single book in your genre a gay protagonist? You can go full schizo and think the jews and libs are out to get you, but maybe use your brain for a second.
Being topical is usually a fast track to success, though. That's the ribbon of truth that makes the insane takes sound reasonable.
But a good story will shine through. You'll have to stand out in that case.
In summary, I hate vague posters. Go die.

[Anonymous No.22183336]

>>22183276
>the lowest society has to offer
I'm just being brutally honest.
I can only do that here; I'll get canceled everywhere else.
In any case, I described my advice as a "shortcut"—a subtlety that was apparently lost on you.

[Anonymous No.22183346]

>>22183268
>who wants nihilism?
Terminally hip zoomers who live in a society?
As long as your MC eventually scores victories over the cyberpunk corporate nihilism, you should be fine.
If it's therapeutic for you, it will hopefully be therapeutic for your readers.

[Anonymous No.22183350]

>>22183336
Take your meds

[Anonymous No.22183359]

>>22183275
chatgpt
unironically
got to chatgpt
type something like 'i have writers block and i want to write about a forest. please help.'

ai is a tool. if you played Halo when you were younger, you'll remember Cortana. chatgpt is basically that. it will help you write. protip. you can publish it yourself on amazon. and generate a bookcover with midjourney (blue willow and loonardo.ai are free alternatives)
cheers frater

[Anonymous No.22183368]

>>22183275
Wow...I could have written this exact post, just over two years ago.
I had spent a few decades unable to write, despite being prolific in my 20s.
You may think my solution is silly, but it really worked.
For years, I had been plagued with horrible nightmares. They affected my sleep tremendously.
Some nights, they were so bad, I'd just get up, even though it was still the middle of the night, because I preferred losing rest to having another nightmare.
Then I happened upon this article:
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/body-odd/bad-smells-can-give-you-nightmares-flna1C9926317
I started washing my sheets more often, and put some incense in my room. After it lost its scent, I'd burn it to get the rest out, then replace it with a fresh one.
These days, I usually have a stick of incense, and three cones, on my headboard.
But once I started, after a few days, I noticed my sleep quality getting better, and after a week, my nightmares were noticeably reduced.
That Saturday, I was making a big breakfast, when an idea for a short story suddenly hit me.
As I continued to prepare my elaborate breakfast, more and more related ideas occurred to me.
I took my food to my office, and between bites, cranked out the first short story I've written in years.
Words cannot express how cathartic that was.
I've since written many more short stories, and even a few novels.
And all it took was pleasant smells while sleeping.

[Anonymous No.22183372]

>>22183368
was this post made by an ai?

[Anonymous No.22183385]

>>22183350
I'm not on psychiatric medication, normie, and I never will be.
Your happy pills prevent you from being motivated to make real progress in improving your life.

[Anonymous No.22183390]

>>22183372
The news article predates generative AI; that should have been a clue.
But no amount of evidence is sufficient for a true-blood seething pseud like you, is it.

[Anonymous No.22183399]

>>22182109
Sounds a little cliche, but in a good way. It promises the reader something and makes them start guessing who will end up with what fate.

[Anonymous No.22183523]

Recommendations of books for writing thrillers?

[Anonymous No.22183542]

>>22183523
Ian Fleming (the author of the "James Bond" series) wrote an essay on this very subject.
https://lithub.com/ian-fleming-explains-how-to-write-a-thriller/

[Anonymous No.22183552]

Why, yes, I've written about 2,400 words today, despite putting in a full day at my day job. How about you, anon?

[Anonymous No.22183559]

>>22183552
I'm editing, rewriting, deleting the final two chapters of my novel. Still sitting at a word count of 130k that I need to break down.

[Anonymous No.22183560]

What's a good way to write when one hand's out of commission? My dominant hand's turned into a filled whoopie cushion from a mosquito bite. It's on my wrist, but my whole hand's swelled up like a red rubber glove stuffed to the brim with wet mud.

[Anonymous No.22183578]

>>22183560
Use voice-to-text on your iphone

[Anonymous No.22183582]

>>22183542
Thanks.
I'm the next Dan Brown.

[Anonymous No.22183632]

>>22183582
Then you may find this more specific advice useful, too:
https://masterclass-notes.medium.com/summary-of-dan-browns-masterclass-on-writing-thrillers-b8070b0831d6

[Anonymous No.22183641]

>>22183559
Very nice. Good luck with that!
>>22183560
Hunt and peck with one hand?
Moder computers have input systems designed for disabled people.

[Anonymous No.22183875]

Thanks for the guy who told to calm myself and wait for an idea here. Just teared up when the emotional painting I want to write finally came. When the idea hits, it hits.

[Anonymous No.22183920]

/wg/, I'm coming back to the chapter that broke me after a long period of not editing. How do I stop feeling daunted by the amount of work I have ahead of me?

[Anonymous No.22183951]

>>22183560
How about going to a fucking doctor, that's not normal.

[Anonymous No.22184043]

>>22183399
>>22182978
Well, the winner of last crime novel compatition, started her novel with 70 pages of dry exposition, going over every single character, their lives, and etc. It was totally pointless, because of how uneventful the novel was. And the third place winner started the story too fast, so I barely had time to care about who is who.
I want to strike a perfect balance. In that I have an ominous prologue that sets the stakes for the events to come. Then I introduce the characters with minimal exposition, and the reader finds out more about them as the story progresses, and not because I tell them everything at the start.

[Anonymous No.22184050]

Just started listening to "On Writing" and holy shit, I've been humbled by a guy writing about his childhood, I used to think writing a book would be easy but the way this guy writes about growing up has made me look at my own writing like how it really is, fucking awful. I will never reach the skill or success of someone like King, fuck.

>Picrel is not a king book, just my favourite comic book.

[Anonymous No.22184056]

>>22184050
>I will never reach the skill
>of someone like King
You should set the bar a little higher

[Anonymous No.22184076]

>>22182047
https://pastebin.com/LfWDtz0H

[Anonymous No.22184077]

>>22184056
You're right, one of the highest-selling authors of all time is not skilled, he sold all those books cause he's a bad writer.

[Anonymous No.22184202]

I try to keep organized with my notes and folders Do you think their well put togeter?

https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/1f_xYw-jBWX3R8JbYWVRKc5zv0ttUmyY6?ths=true

(You may commnet on the story its self but its a WIP and wouldn't be worth critzing,)

Just trying to make sure my files are nice and organized

[Anonymous No.22184369]

>>22184077
>B-B-B-B-BUT LOOK AT HOW MUCH MONEY HE MAKES!!
every single fucking time

[Anonymous No.22184375]

>>22184369
It's a good point that you're yet to disprove.

[Anonymous No.22184376]

>>22184375
JK Rowling is way better than him, at least twice. Since he is twice as rich.

[Anonymous No.22184386]

>>22184376
Not disproving my point but OK.

[Anonymous No.22184416]

>>22184375
I think the point is it's unclear to claim selling means good writing.

I don't think you actually want to write well, you want to sell more. There's nothing wrong with wanting that, but you are correlating things that you don't have to.

[Anonymous No.22184527]

>>22184416
This isn't about what I want. What I'm saying is that you don't sell as much as Stephen King has if you're a bad writer, millions aren't gonna buy your books if you suck at writing.

[Anonymous No.22184568]

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/67568/a-knight-of-valora-serenity

Want to help beta read my webnovel?

[Anonymous No.22184582]

>>22182685
desu it is kinda ugly

[Anonymous No.22184667]

>>22184568
>Want to help beta read my webnovel?
You wanna try that in English?

[Anonymous No.22184739]

>>22184568
Could use a little more setup. There was a lot of names thrown out in the beginning, you really jumped into things. Fourth paragraph in and I'm learning about the physical description of a different character? That's too fast, ive hardly learned anything about the MC yet. First make sure your MC is a little more established. And after, when you want to introduce characters, make it a little more one on one. It let's you see how the MC interacts with other people and gives you insight into their personality as well as the other characters'. Try not to introduce people in a group. You could also cut back on the number of adjectives.
>The amount of work finished today was more than enough for the day
For the day* can be cemetery removed from that sentence, it's too repetitive. If you have to describe something that isn't something new to the reader, let's say boring paperwork, just use one adjective like dull. Saying, dull, tedious and boring paperwork, is just unnecessary.
Not trying to be a dick, but this is what an editor would say right out the gate. I hope this is more helpful than critical.

[Anonymous No.22184744]

>>22184739
Completely, not cemetery.

[Anonymous No.22184746]

>>22184739
Thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.22184771]

>>22184667
>[Do you] want to help beta read my webnovel?
In conversational English, this kind of omission is standard and perfectly legible. Take a few more lessons before posting on an English board, ESL. Or at least don't comment on what is or isn't good English.

[Anonymous No.22184783]

>>22184746
Here's an idea. A suggestion, it's your story, do whatever you want. But almost always with detective stories they introduce the character finishing up a case. This does two things, it let's you see how the character performs their job, whether they're reckless, by the books, bored by their job or excited by it. And it gives people an opportunity to see what type of cases they handle, so it would be good world building in your instance. Just an idea. I'd actually like to see you do something different, break the mold a bit, but do what you think is right for the story.

[Anonymous No.22184796]

>>22184783
I thought I did that with my first two paragraphs... She doesn't care and just slapped on her signature and called it a day.

[Anonymous No.22184803]

>>22184077
That's exactly right.

[Anonymous No.22184804]

>>22184568
When are you selling out and writing a power fantasy litrpg?

[Anonymous No.22184806]

>>22184796
Guess I'll have to expand things, move Cassandra's description elsewhere, and have more dialogue. Seems like people like dialogue most.

[Anonymous No.22184812]

>>22184739
I think it makes sense for the pov to describe other peoples' appearances but not their own.

[Anonymous No.22184830]

>>22184783
My idea is for these.group of people, despite all their powers, positions, and training, they're all just lazy pieces of shit working a day job then go home and play video games.

[Anonymous No.22184846]

>>22184796
What does the paperwork tell me though? She's bored. Ok. Most paperwork is boring for literally everyone. It doesn't tell me anything else. Why is she bored? Are the crime cases in a magical world boring? Have things been too peaceful? Is she low on the totem pole and she gets stuck with minor cases, is it just the paperwork that's boring? If it's just boring paperwork, all that tells me is she's a person with feelings and nothing more. The opening for a book is the most important part, next to the rest of the book of course. You have to pull a hook through the readers cheek right out the gate, or they'll swim away. Your opening tells me your character is bored, I don't know why, therefore your reader is also bored. And don't feel discouraged. I'm sure it's interesting further on. And the fact you finished a book? Awesome man. That's something most people will never do. But now you have to rewrite it a dozen times or more. Get ready for that. You scored a touch down. But it's meaningless unless you do it a hundred more times.

[Anonymous No.22184887]

anyone else need a cheap editor?

[Anonymous No.22184901]

>>22184887
I prefer expensive editors.

[Anonymous No.22184911]

>>22184846
Thank you so much. I'll see what I can whip up.

[Anonymous No.22184919]

I dont know how to write dialog because I don't know how to talk to people. I don't know anyone in real life. How do I write a good novel with zero dialog

[Anonymous No.22184930]

>>22184911
Don't be discouraged. I'm still reading it. I'm enjoying it so far.

[Anonymous No.22184954]

>>22184771
>Take a few more lessons before posting on an English board, ESL.
Looooooool, I'm a native English speaker.

[Anonymous No.22184995]

>>22184527
>millions aren't gonna buy your books if you suck at writing

Will you also call 50 shades of gray a masterpiece? The martian? Divergent series? Or could you maybe compromise a little and admit success may involve a few other things than the quality of a singular part of the product?

[Anonymous No.22185097]

>>22184919
1. People in books don't talk like people in real life to begin with. Real transcripts don't read like novels. Everybody politely ignores this. Often you'll want to ape books, not real life.
2. People may forgive you even if your dialogue is more stilted than usual. I'm reading Greg Egan right now and all his characters sound analytical all the time (even his anti-science strawmen) and it's fine, really, everything else more than makes up for it and it helps him get all his complex information across.
3. Maybe listen to podcasts? Also yadda yadda try attending meetups and so on, but that's hard (still worth it IME) while podcasts are very very easy

[Anonymous No.22185133]

>>22184954
Then why couldn't you understand a completely normal sentence?

[Anonymous No.22185148]

Repeating my question - how the fuck do I find readers? I don't want to shill.

[Anonymous No.22185154]

>>22185148
That depends on what you're writing.

[Anonymous No.22185160]

>>22184995
'Good prose' is not exactly equivalent to 'good writing'. 'Writing' is all encompassing, and in that sense, extremely popular fiction does have good writing--in that it appeals to many people and has characters, scenarios, a story, or whatever else that people become obsessed with. Having beautiful prose + deep themes isn't the only thing that makes 'good writing', because 'good writing' literally just means the book is good at what it is trying to do. In fifty shades of gray, that means titillating middle aged women.
Use vague terminology and everyone will be confused. How shocking.

[Anonymous No.22185170]

>>22185148
I really need to know. Do vague posters like you really think meaningful input can be given when you provide absolutely zero details? Do you think that poetry has the same marketing standards as LitRPG? That erotica and children's stories do? Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.22185176]

>>22185154
Right now? Primarily short stories. I've got one completed low fantasy psychological thriller, meant to serve as a little prequel to my novel if I ever get around to writing it, and a space war-scifi-mecha short story, I've got 2/3 chapters done.

Any ideas?

[Anonymous No.22185193]

>>22185148
Do what this anon did.
>>22184568

Post your shit on some website and hope someone reads it and willing to comment on it.

That said I personally think the beginning is fine. The first paragraph connects to a paragraph near the end. Some tall lanky figure blew some shit up and the team gets a report that it's some tall lanky figure in the forest.

I get why people missed it though. Many like openings where the MC is already inspecting shit and making quips that demonstrates her brilliance. Like the comment the guy had on your story.
>Why can't we see them use their powers, or something cool.

Instead we get some lazy chick that completely missed the clue and the culprit literally in the first paragraph. She just eats her donuts and drinks her coffee. Very typical in an office. Nobody does shit.

We just need some water breaks and talk about last night's sports game. The most mundane opening ever, but it's filled with questions.

[Anonymous No.22185214]

>>22185148
make Fallout New Vegas mods to add your writing in books in the game

[Anonymous No.22185222]

>>22185160
You're only confusing yourself by using vague terms like "good writing", and then have to guess blindly what I'm criticizing in order to argue back, which then just results in feeble strawman arguments. Like, not even once have I mentioned "prose" in this conversation. Please just stop embarrassing yourself.

[Anonymous No.22185242]

>>22185193
I've already put my shit up on 3 sites and no one is reading it. I was hoping for a handful of bored people giving it a go at least.

[Anonymous No.22185272]

>>22184954
Then you would know that native speakers don't talk or write that formally.
"Do you want to" is the sort of thing a classroom-trained ESL would say.
"Want to" is native.
"Wanna" would have been really native.
And if that's the sort of thing that sends you into a seething downward spiral, then you're incredibly sheltered. Try touching grass.

[Anonymous No.22185279]

>>22185222
I wasn't that anon. That was my first entry into this conversation.
But previous anon said popular books must have 'good writing' in some regard, then you argued by saying 'what about 50 shades, would you call that good?', which is you implying that it is NOT GOOD (since this is the topic of the previous anon's statement). So I said, in some sense, it does have good writing, or is more vaguely 'good' (the topic of the discussion), because it perfectly appeals to an audience. Then I pointed out this retarded vague terminology makes this discussion impossible to have. Even your previous 'compromise a little and admit success involves other things than the quality of a part of a product' is pretty vague. What even is your point? Everyone knows success is multifaceted, but the topic of discussion is that popular books have 'good writing', and what I was arguing is that they do--just through factors I mentioned above, like having great appeal, characters, or whatever else.

[Anonymous No.22185282]

>>22185176
Reddit has a lot of fiction-oriented subs.
People post a lot of short stories there.
r/nosleep has several thousand readers at any given time, but an incredibly finicky set of rules.
However, the "similar subreddits" in its wiki lists a lot of other places you could post to & get readers.

[Anonymous No.22185283]

>spend the morning writing
>feel really good about what I just wrote and feel like I'm really onto something
>over the course of the day ruminate over what I wrote
>start to feel it's utter shit and begin questioning why I'm even bothering to write
>repeat the next day
Will it always be like this?

[Anonymous No.22185292]

>>22185282
>Reddit has a lot of fiction-oriented subs.
Nah thanks I'm good with being a nobody if that's the alternative.

Maybe my VN will one day attract readers to my stuff.

[Anonymous No.22185293]

>>22185279
tl;dr

[Anonymous No.22185295]

>>22185283
>start to feel it's utter shit
Then rewrite the parts you think are shit retard.

Writing is an iterative process and you're meant to give your stuff a readability and quality passes. Once I latch onto a few words I tend to repeat myself in writing and I have to take a break for a few hours/a day then go through my text and unfuck the repetitions.

[Anonymous No.22185296]

>>22185293
based on the retardation of your previous posts, I should've expected that

[Anonymous No.22185312]

>>22185295
If I went back to rewrite it every time I felt like this, I'd never finish. Aside from correcting little details for consistency, I don't want to do any serious revisions until I have a completed manuscript.

[Anonymous No.22185323]

>>22185312
>I don't want to do any serious revisions until I have a completed manuscript.
Sounds like a skill issue. Nothing will be perfect which is why you get some random chumps to give you ideas why it sucks.

[Anonymous No.22185360]

>>22182109
That could actually work. Keep it vague enough, that it will keep the readers guessing.

[Anonymous No.22185386]

When you guys write the start of the book and introduce your characters.

Do you start right at the conflict and go from there or do you give us a second to get to know your characters before starting the main conflict?

Curious about your creative choices my fellow anons

I personity perfer to introduce my characters first and let you get to know them before I start the major conflict that kicks off the story

[Anonymous No.22185411]

>>22185386
In my first short story I slowly introduced the MC and his buttbuddy over the story.
In the second one, I literally just drop them in without any introduction in literally the middle of conflict and let the reader figure out what the fuck these guys are about.
I honestly have no preference either way. Whatever works best for the story.

Functionally the same, but polar opposite approach.

[Anonymous No.22185488]

>royal road readers are complaining that nothing is happening
how do i make things happen

[Anonymous No.22185496]

>>22185488
What genre are you writing?

[Anonymous No.22185570]

>>22185488
Something always has to be happening, or you'll bore your reader.
Are you paying attention to proper story structure?

[Anonymous No.22185572]

>>22185570
why does something always have to be happening? thats not interesting

[Anonymous No.22185576]

>>22185570
I feel like the more i learn about writing the less i am interested in it. if every single fucking sentence and action has to mean something and push something along then this is just a chore. its boring as hell why cant i just write about nothing?

[Anonymous No.22185587]

>>22185572
"Something has to happen" means all events have to progress something. It doesn't mean action an explosions. Not necessarily, at least.

When writing, always ask yourself; is this scene necessary? What purpose does it serve? Does it forward some plot, story, arc?

If it's not necessary, cut it out. If it serves no purpose, it's fluff, cut it out. If it does not forward any plot, story or arc, it's literally a waste of time for the reader, trash it. Above all, you need to respect your readers' time.

That being said, be very careful with subtle hints and foreshadowing. The payoff is great and you can do even massive asspulls that won't come off as a non-sequitur if you foreshadow them right, but keep in mind that you risk boring the shit out of the reader.

Writing is a balancing act. One side pulls you towards constant action and blazing pace, other side pulls you towards intrigue, things happening behind the scenes and a slow pace. Going too much in either ruins a story more often than not.

[Anonymous No.22185593]

>>22185576
You can write about nothing, most people just won't want to read it.
Very juvenile response desu. Not even sure how to respond. You can write bad shit all you want, but performing any skill at a higher level requires honing of a craft. It's not 24/7 fun. Takes work to improve
Go vape and watch TikTok, zoomie.

[Anonymous No.22185595]

>>22185587
but i dont like readin that kind of stuff. i just like reading about someones day or something. or reading about how they are bored. i thought writing was supposed to reflect real life

[Anonymous No.22185597]

>>22185576
>why cant i just write about nothing?
You can. In fact, there's a lot of books literally about this - what is YOUR book going to bring in that's going to be novel(heh) in this particular case?

Basically, would you want to watch a movie about nothing, thinking that everything in the movie has some sort of meaning, some sort of subtle symbolism, only to at the end go "what the fuck, that's it?" as the credits roll?
This might be fine if you are pushing for some sort of buddhist/hinduist or otherwise nihilist statement. In reality, you're just going to piss people off. Everything has to have a meaning or at least purpose - even if that purpose is simply building the world or painting a picture of the characters and setting.

[Anonymous No.22185599]

>>22185593
So what, books are just movies then? Just mindless entertainment where you're shunted from one plot point to another?

[Anonymous No.22185602]

>>22185595
>i just like reading about someones day or something. or reading about how they are bored
Well you're in a very specific niche of biographies and pseudobiographies. Most people like to read about cool shit happening, and not someone's bitching and moaning about daily life.
>i thought writing was supposed to reflect real life
You literally couldn't be more wrong while being nominally right. Yes, sometimes writing reflects real life. But most often it doesn't.

I don't know what to tell you. What audience are you aiming for?

[Anonymous No.22185610]

>>22185488
keep in mind, royal readers need Frederick to destroy Mi Kun with his Fist of Dragon's Fire in a blaze that destroys mountains. After he does that, Frederick gets +1 to strength, and +1 to dexterity, but you can't put it as strength and dexterity, it must be written as [STR] and [DEX]

Then a chime, voice, or feeling inside unlocks his next skill that reads like something worthless. Frederick obtains [Octopus Body] which allows him to squeeze through the smallest of holes.

In the next fight, Frederick gets a giant meteor cast down upon him, but his new secret skill, [Octopus Body] allowed him to squeeze through the smallest of cracks and escape. Then when he reappears, he faces his opponent in this dialogue:

"I have to admit. That was a close one!"
"What!?! How did you escape my [Seven Meteors of Worldly Destruction]?! Impossible!"
"Heh... you didn't take into account one minor thing." Fang Yung looks at the small metal case on the side.
"Impossible! How did you fit into that small box?"
"I used my [Octopus Body]... (long convoluted explanation.)" But what does it matter now? You're going to die. Fist of Dragon's Fire!"


10/10! Five Star story!

[Anonymous No.22185616]

>>22185602
It just feels so artificial

[Anonymous No.22185629]

>>22185616
Nigger, you are the writer, you are the architect of this world. Without you moving things, nothing moves.

This is literally the point of writing - you are supposed to craft a world, characters and events so they seem perfectly natural and logical to the reader and they don't seem odd or forced at all.

Read LOTR if you want to be taken on a ride through a fantasy landscape that someone had to painstakingly craft to make it seem alive and natural.

[Anonymous No.22185634]

>>22185629
i already read lotr, i dont understand your point

[Anonymous No.22185644]

>>22185595
>>22185634
Even slice of life stories have a plot. What is the end of the story and how will said character get to it

[Anonymous No.22185645]

>>22185634
>nooooo I don't want to have to carefully think about the plot and events that happen in my story, i just want to write a whole lot of nothing and have it become a blockbuster!

Honestly maybe you have something avant-garde that will sell like crazy, but most likely, you just want to write about nothing in particular, holding no point in the story and leave readers annoyed.

[Anonymous No.22185650]

>>22185645
>>22185644
my favorite games are animal crossing so i wanted something like that. i alrso relaly like shenmue

[Anonymous No.22185656]

>>22185587
>be very careful with subtle hints and foreshadowing.
I struggle with this. I know it's all in execution, but I always feel like I'm smashing my readers' head in or whooshing over their heads.

[Anonymous No.22185660]

>>22185650
Take Non Non Biyori as an example. At face value, the anime is literally a slice of life cute girls doing cute stuff series. It has no real plot or story, right?

And yet, every episode has some sort of point. Characters do something. There's even a 'beetus inducing flashback episode with Dagashiya and Renge. Yet the whole anime could be described as basically "nothing happens".

You can write about nothing happening. In fact, "nothing happens" is very popular right now, but you need to make sure the nothing happening actually has something happening at least on a micro scale. You can't just write a sequence of a guy waking up and going to sleep 30 days in a row without it having some sort of point or a statement. That's going to bore the shit out of anyone and basically be literary equivalent of eating a spoonful of sugar.
>>22185656
Every writer struggles with this except those fuckers that were born with a talent. My advice is, know your audience's age and general ballpark of intelligence. Do not try to foreshadow something extremely subtle to dipshit and children.

[Anonymous No.22185663]

>>22185660
i dont watch anime

[Anonymous No.22185668]

>>22185663
I'm sorry but you're missing my point so much that I think you might be legitimately too dumb to write.

[Anonymous No.22185671]

>>22185668
how am i supposed to get anything from your post when i dont even know hwat a non non biyori is

[Anonymous No.22185674]

4000 words down today, but I'm not done yet.

[Anonymous No.22185679]

>>22185674
Reminder most people only read 1000-2000 at a time.

[Anonymous No.22185694]

>>22185650
You can look at existing Animal Crossing fanfiction:
https://www.wattpad.com/stories/animalcrossing
See what you can learn from the successful ones.
As for Shenmue...this is from Wikipedia:
>The story follows the teenage martial artist Ryo Hazuki as he travels through 1980s Japan and China in pursuit of his father's killer.
So even it had a plot.
>Critics criticized the slow pace, and their focus on mundane detail divided players.
>the games were commercial failures
In other words, feel free to follow this path, but don't be surprised if literally no one cares.
Most readers need things to happen in order to stay interested.
Reading involves a commitment of time and effort, and you don't want to make them feel cheated.

[Anonymous No.22185699]

>>22185671
https://www.google.com/search?q=non+non+biyori
You are quickly revealing yourself as someone not worth helping.

[Anonymous No.22185701]

>>22185699
>you can google it that means you know the intricacies of the show
fuck off zoomer

[Anonymous No.22185702]

>>22185694
>reading involves a commitment of time and effort
for me reading is my only option for entertainment, i guess im sorry im not retarded

[Anonymous No.22185703]

>>22185679
That is about how big the scenes are. I have a couple very cumbersome scenes, but not many.

[Anonymous No.22185717]

>>22185699
Oh that is where that "hehe XD" comes from.

[Anonymous No.22185724]

>>22185701
You don't need to know intricacies of the show because I literally explained what the bulk of the show is about in a single post.
>>22185703
>the scenes
Jesus. I hope they are self-contained for a chapter.

[Anonymous No.22185757]

>>22185595
>i thought writing was supposed to reflect real life
Where did you get that idea?
The underlying theme of the vast majority of fiction is wish fulfillment.
People like to read about lives they can't, or don't dare, lead.

[Anonymous No.22185794]

Trying to write an argument between the protagonist and his gf. How's this sound?
"I mean, I like when you're sweet to me, and you show me all those cool things, but I hate when you're an asshole because it's like you flip like a light switch and you don't care about my feelings at all. You think I'm lying about everything and I don't know how to stop it." Dead eyes stared back at her.

[Anonymous No.22185819]

>>22185794
>>22185794
Doesn't sound like a woman. Sounds like a gay man.
Women are complete bitches that yell and scream for no reason in particular and do not explain what's the problem. A woman wouldn't start off with "you're nice but", she'd immediately imply her man cheats on her or doesn't love her anymore. And it's all his fault, of course.
>I don't like you're doing x y and z
Wrong. That's not how women are. Women never tell men how to get them to stop their attitude.
>YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE I AM DOING MY BEST TO KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING
This is how women are.

Unless your character is a statistical anomaly, she won't talk like this.

[Anonymous No.22185838]

>>22185819
Hahahaha

[Anonymous No.22185875]

To write is maddening. To not write is somehow worse still.

[Anonymous No.22185899]

the door was pushed apart by the man in yellow as he was walked in by his rear accoutrements. broad shouldered broad man were holding him by the scruff of his dignity. a man stood at the front of the hall and took in the visage of the man in yellow. his lips were spread and words did come out " I see that I have been expecting you." The man in yellow was pushed forward onto the floor. His head was held up by some force and his red lips were parted "That makes one of us" That man who was stood at the endof the hall was made to laugh by this comment. " I see that your tim ein my dungeons has done nothing to coddle your glib chin, tell me how did you enjoy a thief's lodging" His arms crossed. The man was annoyed by this comment "It wasn't exactly the Embassy Suites by Hilton Salt Lake West Valley City on Market and Weigh Station" his face was sore and he grimaced "But it'll do." The man who was stood at the head of the hall was moved by this and began to laugh yet again before becoming composed. "I see. Now I am Here to ask you a favor. Fifty five days ago you were caught fingering a locket from the lectern of the local parish. Now that locket is missing. I am here to speak to you to ask you who you are working for and you had better answer quick" The whip carried by the man at the head of the hall was cracked against the floor. The man in yellow responded in confusion. The man at the head of the hall did not accept this. The man in yellow professed. The face on the head of the man at the head of the hall shifted. "Then I will bargain with you. I would have you investigate this matter henceforth, if you do not come to me with information then you will be put to death, do you understand?"

[Anonymous No.22185901]

>>22185875
I compromise by writing really fucking slowly

[Anonymous No.22185911]

>>22185660
>My advice is, know your audience's age and general ballpark of intelligence. Do not try to foreshadow something extremely subtle to dipshits and children.

[Anonymous No.22185921]

>>22185794
>>22185819
If you're trying to write realistic dysfunctional couples, I suggest reading "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".

[Anonymous No.22185930]

>>22185921
I prefer to use mom and dad as reference

[Anonymous No.22185935]

>>22185242
Competition out there is rough.

[Anonymous No.22185961]

>>22185935
Yeah I honestly don't know how I can compete with masterpieces like Supreme Dual Cultivation System or Goddess of Ice; Reborn as Naruto’s twin sister.

[Anonymous No.22185975]

>fell out of the habit of writing

[Anonymous No.22185977]

>>22185930
If you prefer to use one example instead of many examples, plus expert analysis of them, be my guest.
But your characters may come across as a little thin.

[Anonymous No.22186009]

>>22185899
This is a good example of being too descriptive.
> Embassy Suites by Hilton Salt Lake West Valley City on Market and Weigh Station
Judging by how the character acts in context, I'm sure this is a nice hotel. But to most people it would sound off, like an inside joke. Something they should know but don't. Most people's eyes would kind of skip over it.
>They didn't leave a chocolate on the pillow, but it'll do I suppose
This is how I would recommend handling this remark. It keeps the conversation in a better flow. No one feels like they need to know a specific place. There's good prose, and then there's too many adjectives.

[Anonymous No.22186023]

>>22186009
I wouldn't even say, "I suppose" at the end. I'd just have him say, "They didn't leave a chocolate on the pillow. Full stop.

[Anonymous No.22186034]

>>22186009
I was convinced the post was ironic due to
>broad shouldered broad man
And stating
>look I have a thesaurus
In the very first sentence.

[Anonymous No.22186040]

What are the pros of cons for writing on a notebook first, then transcribing it?
>Pros
You get to be in a nice setting (I like to write in the park)
You have to read your work once when you transcribe it, so you already have it fresh and entered editing phase 1
Excuse to write on paper
>Cons
Gonna take a long time
It hurts to not only read bad writing, but have to transcribe it. I feel the need to change it, and I can't, I just highlight it and comment that it's shit and move on
What do you guys think?

[Anonymous No.22186053]

>>22186040
just write it good the first time and then you dont have to transcribe bad writing thats what i do

[Anonymous No.22186116]

>>22186053
>write it good the first time
A bold strategy, but alas, I'm too brain damaged for it. I've played fisties too many times, using my head.
At least I won; I crack some knuckles as I broke my skull

[Anonymous No.22186118]

>>22185961
Getting mad about those sort of low effort indulgent stories being popular gives me the same vibes as a film director seething that people watch so much porn. "My cinematography is SO much better, WTF!"

[Anonymous No.22186146]

>>22186118
Not particularly mad, just a little upset trash like that gets 100k+ views while the shit I worked on for a while gets 36 and 3 reads, 2 of which are probably bots.

[Anonymous No.22186156]

>>22186146
It's called the lowest common denominator for a reason

[Anonymous No.22186160]

>>22186146
Are your works the equivalent of literary porn? If not, why are you mad people are choosing to watch porn instead of your artsy film festival submission? I feel like you missed the point.

[Anonymous No.22186163]

>>22186146
this is what you get for not posting your shit

[Anonymous No.22186169]

This has to be my last draft. There can't be more to fix, it's all fixed. It has to be. When I read all of this next week it will be fine.
Please, I just want off this ride.

[Anonymous No.22186176]

made $2900 from patreon this month, it's not that hard guys. just write shit people want to read

[Anonymous No.22186190]

Decided to make the scene where my main character eats a giant spider(these are giant spiders) in between chapters. I don't think I'm doing too bad I just think my dialogue is a little weak compared to my descriptions

[Anonymous No.22186192]

>got bored and randomly started writing a totally different book in the middle of my story
is this based?

[Anonymous No.22186210]

>>22186169
You never finish, you just stop

[Anonymous No.22186215]

>>22186009
>>22186034
>>22186023

the door was pushed apart by the man in yellow as he was walked in by his rear accoutrements. big men were holding him by the scruff of his dignity. a man stood at the front of the hall and took in the visage of the man in yellow. his lips were spread and words did come out " I see that I have been expecting you." The man in yellow was pushed forward onto the floor. His head was held up by some force and his red lips were parted "That makes one of us" That man who was stood at the endof the hall was made to laugh by this comment. " I see that your tim ein my dungeons has done nothing to coddle your glib chin, tell me how did you enjoy a thief's lodging" His arms crossed. The man was annoyed by this comment "They didn't leave a chocolate on the pillow" his face was sore and he grimaced The man who was stood at the head of the hall was moved by this and began to laugh yet again before becoming composed. "I see. Now I am Here to ask you a favor. Fifty five days ago you were caught fingering a locket from the lectern of the local parish. Now that locket is missing. I am here to speak to you to ask you who you are working for and you had better answer quick" The whip carried by the man at the head of the hall was cracked against the floor. The man in yellow responded in confusion. The man at the head of the hall did not accept this. The man in yellow professed. The face on the head of the man at the head of the hall shifted. "Then I will bargain with you. I would have you investigate this matter henceforth, if you do not come to me with information then you will be put to death, do you understand?"

Is this better

[Anonymous No.22186218]

>>22186176
Is it shit people want to read or just shit people will read?

[Anonymous No.22186223]

>>22186210
I'm definitely going to stop in the next few weeks. I give it two or three more weeks of line edits. It's harder for me to deny that it's complete.

[Anonymous No.22186226]

>>22186223
Weeks, months, years, decades, you'll stop eventually

[Anonymous No.22186228]

>>22186176
How do you go from no fame to having influence? I always wondered how new media people managed to cultivate an audience from nothing, especially in the literary world

[Anonymous No.22186229]

>>22186218
Pretty sure people just vaguely willing to read it out of pure boredom wouldn't pay $10 a month to a patreon, so, uh, the first?

[Anonymous No.22186236]

>>22186190
That's pretty good. I like it.

[Anonymous No.22186238]

>>22186229
You trying to say there aren't people out there shoving their money into shit?

[Anonymous No.22186241]

>>22186190
The dialogue is fine IMO, though you messed up some of the punctuation:
>"I wanted to see if you would go through with it."
>"What is this place called?" I demanded. "Do you know what this city is?"
Your descriptions are a little methodical. In your first sentence here you lay out all the adjectives and spatial relations and describe the events step by step, but the reader could infer much of it and a shorter sentence might match the pace of the action better. Compare:
>He tossed me a handkerchief from his cloak.
(I assume you introduced the balcony and the hooded figure earlier in the scene.)
You don't need to go that far, but always go back to see what's worth weeding out. In a wordy style every single word still has to be worthwhile.
>Before wiping the spider's blood from my mouth, [...]
This reads a little awkwardly because you describe an action but then insert another action right before it, so I picture the events out of order.
Maybe you could say "Before soiling it"? It focuses on the reason for the delay and because it's less immediate it doesn't trick the reader into picturing it as if it happens immediately.

[Anonymous No.22186248]

>>22186238
But it's shit they WANT to buy? I'm not saying they're foaming at the mouth for the next chapter, but they cared enough to put in credit card info and subscribe. What are you even on about?
Besides, I get actual physical comments where they ARE saying they love it. So yeah, at least some of them are big fans. You don't really hit $3k a month on Patreon and have 0 real fans, lmao.

[Anonymous No.22186274]

>>22186248
People willing to give you money and sing your praises doesn't prove your shit isn't shit. There are people who pay money so a blue checkmark shows up next to their name on a social media website. Many of those same people write out a great deal of praise for the latest superhero slop on that very same site.

[Anonymous No.22186281]

is there like an unwritten rule to not include any fictional names in the title of a novel? I write fantasy slop (i'm NOT proud of it) and I want to name the first book after a fictional continent of mine: "the legend of continent_name". But I've noticed that most fantasy authors tend to avoid putting made up names in the title.

[Anonymous No.22186282]

>>22186215
So...you were serious?
Can you name a single writer that writes like this?
Because this comes across as someone that never reads, and doesn't understand flow.
Have you tried reading it aloud to yourself?

[Anonymous No.22186285]

>>22186248
NTA but he's trying to say there's retards with too much money, putting money into something out of boredom. As in "I'm rich fag, there's this funny story, lol let me put a 100 bucks on it". I know a guy who makes 300K in UAE who does this stuff cause he has literally nothing better to do, except buy cars and complain how hot it is there
What do you write, anyways? That can illuminate that anon's question on if you write shit or not

[Anonymous No.22186286]

>>22186274
Christ. I never claimed I'm writing something with deep artistic merit. You just randomly said 'yeah but do people really want to read it' and the answer is clearly yes, and that's why they're paying me.
Stop sperging out. Go take your meds.

[Anonymous No.22186291]

>>22186274
NTA, but stop. You're coping madly right now.
The anon making ~$3k/month on Patreon is clearly succeeding as a writer.

[Anonymous No.22186292]

>>22186285
That's true, but I don't see how that applies to a Patreon, which runs off of hundreds of smaller donations. Rich people blowing money on pointless shit is literally an irrelevant topic.
I do write shit. I never claimed I didn't. Hence "write shit people want to read". Pretty clearly that's me advocating for marketable genre schlock.
Is everyone in this thread lacking basic reading comprehension? This is wild.

[Anonymous No.22186295]

>>22186282
>Have you tried reading it aloud to yourself?
Don't worry, I got this. https://voca.ro/14GtlALhoW3L..

[Anonymous No.22186303]

>>22186236

If you're curious about the sun emblem in my setting it's been night for as long as anyone can remember and the hooded figure belongs to one of the last living members of a group who plan on heralding in the sun somehow they are at war with a group who want the eternal night to last forever both groups think wiping out the other will reverse whatever change is going on. It's a neat little subplot alongside the amnesia stuff

[Anonymous No.22186309]

>>22186286
So just say, "shit people will read."

>>22186291
That's obviously not that much, but even if it were, it's pathetically narrow to gague a writer's success by how much money they make.

[Anonymous No.22186313]

>>22186309
>shit people will read.
He did say that.

[Anonymous No.22186314]

>>22186274
The journey is part of the fun.

I made less than $2 dollars on my sales, but it's a success! I have no idea how to advertise, I'm too stupid to make a website, and I post on a mongolian basket weaving forum, and I still managed to make $2.

You can make it bro!

[Anonymous No.22186315]

>>22186309
Are you ... actually braindead? You asked me whether it's "shit people want to read" or "shit people will read", and the answer is the first, not the second. Your personal views on literature and quality are irrelevant. They want to read it. Sure, they have bad taste. But they want to read it. I answered your question.
This conversation is hurting my head. Are anons really this dumb?

[Anonymous No.22186318]

>>22186303
That's a pretty neat premise. I really like it. You have good prose too. Does the story have a name yet?

[Anonymous No.22186320]

>>22186309
uh, anon, 3,000 dollars a month as an author is in the very upper percentiles of all writers. Sure there's billionaire writers too and litrpg kingpins but 3000 a month is more than most writers will ever see in total. ur kinda coping rn

[Anonymous No.22186328]

>>22186315
>Are anons really this dumb?
>implying you are not one
One day you'll call us scum, chums

[Anonymous No.22186331]

>>22186328
I use it in the same vein as, "Are people really this dumb?" Not implying I'm not one, just stating incredulity at the stupidity of my fellow man

[Anonymous No.22186333]

>>22186314
Is Wing the most eclectic writer in this general?

[Anonymous No.22186347]

>>22186333
Wing is 5 different people writing under the same pen name.

[Anonymous No.22186356]

>>22186282
>>22186295
so what would you reccomend? i am about 8500 words in to the story

[Anonymous No.22186363]

How do I figure out the workflow that works best for me?

[Anonymous No.22186366]

>>22186356
Get some books you like, and read them out loud, and try to understand how it works. Get a taste for the word usage, how the chapter goes from description, scenery, dialog, etc etc.
There's this concept in music production, where during the final stages of making a song, you use what's called a reference track, to check your song against it. In drawing world there's a thing called a masterclass, where you draw another artist's painting as closely as possible, to truly understand how they draw it
Do something similar for works you like. You want to pull not from just writing, but from what you read, as inspiration for how to write well.

[Anonymous No.22186370]

>>22186366
How can what I wrote be that bad, it doesnt feel different at all from books

[Anonymous No.22186378]

>>22186370
Give an example of a passage from a book that sounds similar.

[Anonymous No.22186385]

>>22186366
NTA, but my favorite "books" are trashy WNs I like for being easy to read with simple small paragraphs broken up and lots and lots of chapters. I feel ashamed and try to ape "sophisticated classics" instead and feel sick to my stomach when I look at these big blocky paragraphs.

[Anonymous No.22186386]

>>22186215
>>22186282
I'm thinking this reads like Dashiell Hammett.

[Anonymous No.22186395]

>>22186295
What did you record with, a tooth brush?

[Anonymous No.22186411]

>>22186395
No, a snow ball

[Anonymous No.22186460]

>>22186163
>not posting your shit
I am capable of feeling shame and incapable of shameless shilling.
I'd post if someone was actually interested in reading my garbage.

[Anonymous No.22186464]

>>22186215
>>22185899
Anon, please, for love of God, commas and semicolons.

And learn to break up paragraphs. Did you write this on fucking phone? Paragraphs should be broken up into digestible chunks or dialogue lines.

[Anonymous No.22186514]

>>22186411
Excellent choice.

[Anonymous No.22186521]

>>22186460
You don't know what garbage people might like. Post it. So I can laugh at you and toughen you up.

[Anonymous No.22186599]

>>22186521
Well then anon.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/777497/beasts-of-the-woods/
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/780977/dog-fighting/

First one is the first serious short story I ever wrote, second is something I'm working on right now and I'm thinking it'll have a chapter more and maybe epilogue at most.

I'd legitimately appreciate some ideas how to improve my writing. I've been told the start of the first story is kind of slow, and I have to admit the story itself is slow, but it's meant to work towards the punchline.
The second story is basically me doing the opposite of what I did in my first one.

Feel free to shit on both of them but at least help me get gud. ESL by the way so don't be surprised if you find the wording wonky or structure weird at times.

[Anonymous No.22186622]

this room is magical
there is no inside outside
i am this room
the room is me
I love it desu

[Anonymous No.22186625]

I hope everyone is doing well and that their projects are all coming along nicely. Lately I've been procrastinating.

[Anonymous No.22186627]

Ive always been autistic as hell
When i talk to people they just hear noise and its my fault
I also just hear noise when i listen to my words
People meet me and know im mentally insane
They treat me like a retarded child which i am
BUT
They are dumber than me.

[Anonymous No.22186629]

>>22186625
If you're not writing shit, write it in your head. Get some basic order of events going, some dialogue, build some scenes.

Helps me cope knowing I should be doing something when I'm not.

[Anonymous No.22186632]

Hi how are you doing?
Me? Well...
Do you want anything?
Me? Well...
Excuse me, i think this fell out of your jacket :)
Me? well...

[Anonymous No.22186637]

>>22186629
I've been doing plenty of that, the plot has developed quite a lot in my head, it's more that I think I'm lacking a lot of the things needed to make it come together. Names for characters and places, side characters with serviceable personalities, little things like that. I don't know if it's OCD or just cope but I find that I put up this brick wall between me getting to the meat and potatoes of what I need to do by hyper-fixating on little details and telling myself I can't proceed until I figure them all out.

[Anonymous No.22186641]

breathes in
breathes out
What am i doing with my life
What the fuck was this day
What the fuck was this day (kill me)
kill me
kill me
kill me
Id somehow turn this into a song if i werent too pathetic to learn an instrument
Somehow CIA has returned
Somehow Sheev has returned
I have dark secrets in my heart
But i wont do anything illegal.

[Anonymous No.22186643]

>>22186637
>it's more that I think I'm lacking a lot of the things needed to make it come together
I am physically fucking unable to apply this concept in practice, but don't worry about the interconnecting details. Write out the important bits you know, then link them together best you can.

I swear to God if I ever manage to actually do this while writing it'll be my superpower.

[Anonymous No.22186658]

Is it cool to post excerpts into this thread? Writing a cringe jacket x hooker fan fic and want some thoughts.

[Anonymous No.22186662]

>>22186658
Do whatever you want

[Anonymous No.22186664]

>>22186658
People do it and a schizo is writing a disjointed collection of thoughts here so go ahead.

[Anonymous No.22186671]

>>22186664
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAH
You caught me
I'm unprepared.
The days are gone forever now
What a trail of trash humanity leaves in whatever it does
Or is that the curse of organic existance itself?
That we must endlessly defecate?

[Anonymous No.22186674]

>>22186671
Nevermind that, why are we forced to wipe?

[Anonymous No.22186677]

>>22186674
Me? Well...

[Anonymous No.22186679]

>>22186662
>>22186664
Alright, please let me know what you think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvFY2Stxlzc&ab_channel=PortisheadVEVO

When the man in the chicken mask walked into my torture chamber, I was certain he was going to kill me. And why not? I’d heard the gunshots. The screams. Saw his handiwork on the monitors across the room. When he dug his thumbs into my rapist's eyes, I thought I’d feel some kind of grim satisfaction at that. A small bit of justice, even if the chicken man didn’t realize that was what he was doling out. But I didn’t feel satisfied. I felt numb. Hollow. Whatever that bastard shot me up with made me feel sick to my stomach, and I could hardly turn my head to look at the monitors, let alone make any real movements.

So when he finally entered the bedroom, I made peace with the fact that this was how I was going to die. By some monstrous psycho in a fucking chicken mask, on the worst night of my life. Somehow, I had always known it would end this way.

“Go ahead. Make it quick, please.”

That was all I could bring myself to blurt out. He just stood there, not saying a word. Blood and gore was dripping off every piece of him. Finally, he dropped the shotgun in his hands to the floor, before approaching me, his arms outstretched towards me. God… He’s gonna do the same thing to me, isn’t he? Just like that, my hope of a quick death went up in smoke. It was too much. I fainted.

To my utter shock, I woke up to find that I wasn’t dead. I was still in my underwear, and the next shocking discovery was that I wasn’t in jail, or a hospital bed, but a really dingy apartment somewhere. It was dark in the apartment, the only light and sound coming from a door down the hall. Sounded like… A videogame? I tried to get up, but the drugs in me were still coming on strong. A wave of nausea rolled over me, and before I knew it, I was puking my guts up onto the floor next to the couch. Oh well, I thought, at least that won’t make this apartment much filthier than it already is. Then, more fear came through me. How the fuck did I get here? Was it… God, the thought was too horrible to verbalize. The chicken mask man. He took me here, probably to get up to some rape and torture of his own. My heart was nearly pounding its way out of my chest, but all I could do was cry as quietly as possible. Suddenly, the videogamey sounds and lights in the room down the hall stopped, and dread built up in me as the apartment was almost completely dark now.

I heard a door slowly swing open.

I heard plodding, heavy footsteps. Coming towards me.

My lungs found strength I didn’t know I had, and I screamed. Screamed my head off. Pure, wordless terror. And then, once again…

I fainted.

[Anonymous No.22186688]

>>22186679
When i woke up the chicken man was gone. It was all just a dream. Or was it?

[Anonymous No.22186697]

>>22182864
>>22183036
Same here. I’ve started to re-read some of my paragraphs immediately after I write them just to see how they sound. I think it’s helped but tough to say.

[Anonymous No.22186699]

>>22186521
My drafts are awful before I edit them. As in going from 1/5 to 4/5 rated by the same person. I write fast to capture the initial impression, and I just never feel okay with sharing anymore because I get a bunch of advice I already know and insults on top of it.

[Anonymous No.22186709]

>>22186679
Honestly I expected worse but I doubt a hooker would have a thoughtflow like this.

[Anonymous No.22186710]

>>22186599
Who told you the opening was too slow? Some tiktoker? It was excellent. It wasn't rushed, I felt like I knew as much as the character in the situation he was in. You were descriptive but not overly so. Good prose, good vocabulary. Seriously, you have talent.

[Anonymous No.22186711]

someones standing behind me
what
What is he thinking
I hope he chokes me to death
No, i am afraid he chokes me to death
If he does it I will not fight it but stare him in his eyes
I understand and i will smile
(The reason is that im a pathetic piece of shit so I deserve it)
Moon Eternal Youth The Flower of Death
It Blossoms at Night and calls us Home

[Anonymous No.22186722]

It's so hard to get dialogue to sound natural. I have gone as far as to secretly record long conversations between my friends, just so I can listen back and catch how people really speak.

[Anonymous No.22186727]

Its easy
Do this simple trick
Put on a voice recorder in your room
and then sperg out, totally sperg out and just act out the dialogue
get into it, go wild

Be like Aiden Gillen

[Anonymous No.22186728]

>>22186699
I do the same. I scribble ideas that I might want to use and come back to them, needing to heavily edit. That's OK though. Writing is a lot of work, a long process that takes many steps sometimes.

[Anonymous No.22186732]

>>22186710
>Seriously, you have talent.
N-no you.

Thanks for reading anon. I don't know if you're just saying it, but if you liked it then I guess I'm not completely hopeless as a writer.

[Anonymous No.22186763]

>>22186722
>It's so hard to get dialogue to sound natural.
Dialogue is the only thing I seem to do right. It's not as simple as "lmao just read it out loud to yourself" because just reading it out won't really help with things like characters.

Anytime you have a block of dialogue, ask yourself this:
Does this follow a logical flow? If not, is it for a reason?
Any conversation should follow a logical chain, if a character asks another how's his day, he shouldn't respond with a long sob story about his past. Dialogues are a versatile tool for a writer to either expose a character or foreshadow something. Imagine a character going through something objectively horrible, then 5 minutes later talking to a friend like nothing happened. Bad writing? Or is the character just good at bottling things up?

Does the dialogue convey something? Just like a story has to convey some plot or push something forward, a dialogue has to convey something. You can convey something with a dialogue without the characters conveying anything meaningful themselves. A conversation about the weather, if done well, can show off a character well without unnecessary fluff.

And third, quite possibly the hardest, do the characters speak in a special manner? I can't really help you with this one much, because it doesn't boil down to making characters talk like retards and apostrophin' like this. I think the best suggestion I can give is - do some characters speak briefly? Do some speak very verbose? Do some use simple words? Do some use purple prose? Do they swear, do they not? So on. Ideally, it should match up with their level of education, background, societal strata et cetera. Or not, your choice.

tl;dr dialogue is its own complex storytelling mechanism, don't hyperfocus on the people talking part like an autist.

[Anonymous No.22186769]

Who's better to cum first in a woman dominating man scenario?
>the woman for living out her kink
>the man for surrendering control

[Anonymous No.22186774]

>>22186699
>I write fast to capture the initial impression
Do this.
>and I just never feel okay with sharing anymore because I get a bunch of advice I already know and insults on top of it.
Do not do this.

Write first, even if it's shitty, then read through it a couple times looking for grammar errors, typos, repetitions, paragraphs that are too long or parts that are just shit to read, then fix them.

Then when you are out of ideas how to fix them, share with someone, preferably someone who's not room temperature IQ. And most importantly, apply feedback with a grain of salt. You can't please everyone and not everything will fit everyone's tastes. If you try to please everyone, you'll please nobody.

[Anonymous No.22186786]

>>22186774
>And most importantly, apply feedback with a grain of salt.
Thanks, I definitely do that. I am not trying to reinvent the wheel but I know when parts of my story need to break from conventional wisdom.

[Anonymous No.22186794]

>>22186732
Don't be hard on yourself. I'm enjoying reading this. No leg pulling, this is honestly fun to read.

[Anonymous No.22186798]

>>22186763
I try to capture the mundane and the quirky. People stopping in the middle of a rant to remember a specific word. Excessive use of filler words. Misuse of words. Interrupting each other, and the conversation not returning on topic again. Moments of just silence.
Those are the things I think dialogue needs. It needs to sound a bit flawed, as people irl make mistakes, go off topic, and don't just get info across in perfectly formed, dry and double checked sentences.

[Anonymous No.22186799]

>>22186794
>No leg pulling, this is honestly fun to read.
I'm glad then.

[Anonymous No.22186811]

>>22186798
>Misuse of words.
I can only imagine how many people try and point out your deliberate mistake

[Anonymous No.22186813]

>>22186798
>It needs to sound a bit flawed, as people irl make mistakes, go off topic, and don't just get info across in perfectly formed, dry and double checked sentences.
Pretty much this. The more perfect someone talks, the less human they'll seem. This can be used intentionally and also inverted, or flipped completely on its head by character breaking that "perfect speech" and doing the opposite suddenly.

2 high society assholes with a stick up their ass will talk all prim and perfect. 2 dockworkers talking about tits and how big is too big will probably throw cursewords left and right while using idiot language. A pseud trying to impress a normie will get meanings of words wrong. Inconceivable.

[Anonymous No.22186816]

>>22186811
My advice is to ignore noise and focus on signal. If somebody doesn't grasp that the CHARACTER used a word wrong, not you, as a writer, then you don't need to pay too much mind to that guy.

That being said, try to make it clear that the character is the idiot here.

[Anonymous No.22186847]

>>22186769
...he asks a bunch of incels...

[Anonymous No.22186862]

>>22186847
I don't even know what to answer because I've got so many questions first.
Is the sex scene necessary? Does it forward the plot? IS there a plot, or is it just a coomfic? Does the result matter at all? What's the audience?

[Anonymous No.22186868]

so how do you practice prose? do you just read and try to copy someone's prose as closely as possible?

[Anonymous No.22186884]

>>22186862
>Is the sex scene necessary?
Yes.
>Does it forward the plot?
Of course they'll have to see each other again when they show up for work the next day.
>IS there a plot
Yes, this is major character development for the both of them.
>or is it just a coomfic?
No.
>Does the result matter at all?
Yes. Everything matters. Who cums first and how is just as important as anything before and after.
>What's the audience?
Romance starved faggots, metaphorically.

[Anonymous No.22186909]

>>22186884
im not a writer yet just some faggot but, if your audience is a bunch of snoyboy cucks then make him cum first and have the woman act like a smug condescending fucking bitch about it and flex her superiority in bed cause that gets snoyboys wet

[Anonymous No.22186911]

>>22186709
How would you reword that scene then? Also thanks for the semi compliment.

[Anonymous No.22186918]

>>22186911
A hooker is probably not going to have long, complex thoughts. If the whole thing was more like the last bit, it would make more sense. Hookers are usually hookers because they fucked up somewhere in life, or never had a chance.

It may seem more "poetic" and "better prose" to write it fancy, but it makes the reader think the character is smarter and has deeper thought process than it should.
>But I didn't feel satisfied. I felt numb. Hollow.
Fine for someone of average or higher than average intelligence and angsty.
>But it didn't feel good.
Probably more fitting for someone who takes dicks for a living.

Keep in mind I'm just a guy on the internet.

[Anonymous No.22186928]

>Romance starved faggots, metaphorically.
What the other anon said. Women and sóyjaks want to be dominated.

[Anonymous No.22186932]

>>22186643
This is kind of what I've been doing. My writing process feels a bit like erecting these stony mountain peaks and then trying to cobble together these janky little bridges between them all. That connective tissue part feels a bit forced though, I've gone as far as to go back and pick up books on my shelf and try to see what exactly authors are actually doing. Time just randomly passes between chapters sometimes and it's like sleight of hand how they pull it all off, like you don't notice it at all.

[Anonymous No.22186942]

>>22186932
>That connective tissue part feels a bit forced though
Yeah I can't help you with that because I'm suffering from it myself. Though I can probably tell you that you can go ahead and use actual action/timeskips if you're struggling and nobody will notice, provided you don't abuse it.

Try some slice of life? Some (mostly) meaningless worldbuilding? If you're out of ideas but the story has to flow, you might as well fill it with something people might enjoy, just don't overdo it. Trim the fat if needed.

[Anonymous No.22186946]

>>22186909
also its good if you make it so that even though shes acting like a smug bitch and domming the man that she still makes it clear she isnt trying to undermine him and there is an air of mutual respect or whatever, in a more realistic setting she'd start growing disdainful and resentful of him and would start whoring around looking for someone to ditch the man she deems unworthy, but this is zogslop for numales so that doesnt matter

[Anonymous No.22186967]

>>22186946
basically give the snoy their cake and have them eat it too

[Anonymous No.22186974]

I spent the past two years writing a novel (suburban gothic if you can consider that a genre). I sent it to the only reader I know, who seemed pretty offended by it and outright told me it was worthless / unpublishable. Anyone here interested in giving it a read? I don't know anyone in my actual life who will ever bother to pick it up (never went to college, and no one in my family much less workplace likes books), or anything about the publishing industry in the first place, so I have no qualms with posting the whole thing here.

[Anonymous No.22186980]

>>22186918
Alright, I'll try to keep it in mind for her next bit. I have the idea of her having a background of being a college student before her heroin addiction and eventual fall to prostitution, but ok. Anyways, at the risk of annoying everyone here, let me post the next chapter. Please let me know what you all think.

CHAPTER 2 - A BROKEN SMILE

Another night in Miami. Another message on the answering machine. The job goes about as well as it usually does, and this time you only get a decent bruise from some scarred up ruskie swinging a lead pipe to your ribs. He got more than a bruise in return. Their boss gave you a bit more trouble, the only guy in there with the forethought to actually be wearing a bulletproof vest. You got him down, after some struggle, and repaid the trouble he gave you by gouging his eyes out.

You go to check the room he barreled out of, and find your only real shock of the night: A young girl, half naked. Drugged up, obviously. Scared out of her mind, too. But it’s what she says that really gets you.

“Go ahead. Make it quick, please.”

You don’t know why, but hearing that from her cut you to the core. You suddenly felt ashamed, deeply ashamed, and you weren’t sure why. You gotta… Do something. You don’t have to kill everyone here, right? You don’t have to. The shotgun in your hands clatters to the floor, and slowly, you approach her. You want to say something comforting, but the right words don’t come to mind, and your voice gets caught halfway up your throat. You raise your arms, hoping to calm her down. You’re not one of the bad guys, right?

As if to answer, her own eyes go wide like a doe, and instantly she’s out like a light.

Fuck.

You fucked up. The shame grows, and you feel your cheeks turning red. You gotta get out of here. But… You can’t just leave her like that. So you pick her up as gently as you can, and carry her back to your ride. You’re half afraid that she’s gonna hurl right in your car. It’s not pristine or anything, but it's one of your only possessions that you feel real pride for. Whatever. Thankfully, you make the short trip back with your car remaining puke free. God must be keeping an eye out for you too, because your neighbors either aren’t home or are fast asleep, as no one is around to see you carry the lady back to your apartment.

[Anonymous No.22186981]

The door swings open, and the smell seeps out, like old cum rags and rotten pizza boxes. Right. Whatever. It’s not as bad as where she just came from, at least. Gingerly, you set her down on the couch, after clearing all the crap and junk on it off. Checking her pulse, you find that it’s very weak, but stable. She should make it. You slink back to the bathroom, and take a quick shower, washing all the blood and grime and shit off. Then you undo your hand wraps, dropping them onto a growing pile of the bloody stuff next to the sink. You keep meaning to clean it up, you know your apartment is a veritable evidence treasure trove, but you just can’t be bothered right now. When you exit, you take another glance at the girl, just to see she’s still breathing, and when you find that she is, you go back to your room.

You need to unwind. Plopping down on the floor, you boot up the NES and continue your playthrough of Dragon Quest. Neat game, although you are fucking awful at it. Whatever, it kills the time. After some time you start to feel sleepiness dragging your eyelids down, and you finally shut the TV off. You don’t know what time it is, but for once, it seems like all of Miami is still and quiet. Or at least your little cut of it is. Before bed, though, you decide to take one last check up on the girl. Your night vision has always been great, so you leave the lights off so you don’t disturb her. The door swings open, and slowly, carefully, you approach her.

You think she’s awake.

As you get closer, you hear her hitching breaths. Oh fuck. Is she, like, overdosing or something? Panic creeps into your lungs. You don’t know why, but for some reason, you care about what happens to this chick. You pick up the pace.

Then, the screaming starts.

[Anonymous No.22186988]

>>22186974
I'm interested anon, go ahead, I'll give it a read. Keep in mind though that I have horrible taste so my perspective may be skewed.

[Anonymous No.22186990]

>>22186974
Drop an excerpt or two and I'll tell you if it's actually unpublishable or worthless. Drop the worst parts, even. Unless it's literally full of grammar errors, typos, thesaurus flaunting and generally shit writing, I doubt it's that bad.

Literal steaming garbage got published and all it takes is a bit of pushing.

[Anonymous No.22186994]

>>22186974
>who seemed pretty offended by it
unless you're scared of getting ""cancelled"" dont listen to those retards, just stop and think for a moment, the most acclaimed works of art are always the ones that people love to bitch about how "problematic" they are but people still love it cause even though most faggots out there love to virtue signal deep down they dont actually give a damn and will indulge in it if its good regardless, think of something like berserk or just anime in general, its always showing and saying "problematic" things and yet its wildly popular, so please do yourself a favor and ignore those retards, the last thing you want is to be enslaved to these fickle freaks
>so I have no qualms with posting the whole thing here.
not sure if thats a good idea but go ahead

[Anonymous No.22186999]

>>22186980
>>22186981
This works better because I don't really know (well, I know, but let's assume I don't) the protagonist. You paint the character as a normal dude, which is probably the intent.
I don't know if I like the second person you, but it's more of a taste matter than anything.

Like I said, I expected worse. Nothing I read here is bad per se.

[Anonymous No.22187000]

>>22186994
oh and i forgot to add, that on top of those same complainers still indulging in the media they complain about being problematic, they also dont give a shit about the media that is supposed to cater to them, how many twitter faggots do you think actually bought and played tlou2? lmao, everytime some ass says your work is "offensive" just disregard them as a retarded cultist faggot cause thats what they are

[Anonymous No.22187007]

>>22187000
>inb4 chud
same goes for christians and any other self righteous group of faggots

[Anonymous No.22187009]

>>22186999
Well, my main form of writing experience is from making quests on /qst/. So the second person you thing is force of habit at this point I suppose. I know most people find it off putting, but I'm liking it for Jackets sections. Thanks for the input anon!

[Anonymous No.22187010]

>>22187009
>Well, my main form of writing experience is from making quests on /qst/
based

[Anonymous No.22187015]

>>22187009
>Well, my main form of writing experience is from making quests on /qst/.
Yeah that what it reeks of. Choose your adventure kind of thing. It's fine for that format, but if you were to write more than a fanfic a lot of people would nope the fuck right out of there. Unless you'd do something interesting right away, that is.

[Anonymous No.22187073]

>>22187015
/qst/ writers are honestly very good.

[Anonymous No.22187141]

>>22186909
>>22186928
>>22186946
Useful in what not to do, and gives a different understanding in how to handle it the way I want, so thanks. Still undecided as to who'll cum first but now I have another way of considering what it means choosing him. It might make more sense she cums first, under her own terms, as these are the only times she has a sense of free-will, getting to put her wants at the forefront for a change. We'll see.

[Anonymous No.22187150]

>>22186988
>>22186990
>>22186994

Here's a mega link

https://mega.nz/file/YaU2UQCL#eA1Qy8GECkIQrOT_wpjU-uidRLtLfFp4HUFkCAnIx8g

Thanks, and enjoy maybe

[Anonymous No.22187202]

>>22187150
Oh boy.

[Anonymous No.22187222]

/wg/, I'm really struggling and don't know what's wrong with me. I've written novels before, but I just... can't anymore. I had some bad experience and now it feels like a magent is repelling me from my word processor

[Anonymous No.22187269]

am i really just supposed to have a nigga start describing what the fucking floor feels like hes stepping on or what color the walls hes looking at are?

[Anonymous No.22187288]

>>22187269
Fuck no. Never write things that have no purpose. The only reason to describe the scenery at all is if it's directly relevant to the story, or you're specifically trying to set a certain mood. Otherwise brief descriptions at best.

[Anonymous No.22187290]

I'm writing a Sapphic romance story, and as a guy, I fear making it too unrealistic on account of my brain working differently. But none of the girls I know would be willing to read it. How do I ensure the realism otherwise?

[Anonymous No.22187295]

>>22187290
Don't worry, you writing MF relationships would be no less unrealistic

[Anonymous No.22187299]

can i get away with the cormac style dialogue with no quotations nor "he said" if im a nobody?
and also if my writing is good....

[Anonymous No.22187300]

>>22187295
My last romance story sold 5,600 copies.

[Anonymous No.22187306]

>>22187290
>How do I ensure the realism
make sure to include the couple collectively weighs about 500 lbs, they have a subaru and several kitty cats, which they just adore, but the litter box is only sporadically cleaned. the last time they were intimate was a couple years ago. the larger, dykier one with the nose ring recently got annoyed with the other one because of a mess in the bathroom and tey had a fight that escalated physically. they each call their respective mother at least once a week. no father is in the picture.

[Anonymous No.22187309]

Retarded amateur question but when should a story be written in present tense instead of past.

[Anonymous No.22187310]

>>22187306
Do people say anything useful in these threads, or is it pretty much just all shitposting?

[Anonymous No.22187322]

>>22187310
you asked for realism in lesbian relationships. that's about as real as it gets
to answer you romance erotica novel question it depends on your audience. if you audience is female you need to set up feelings and shit. when they finally have their consummation it should be after a long build up at the art gallery, at dinner, at the beach, and then they just can't control themselves. the snuggling scene afterwards should be just as long or longer than the sex scene. if the audience is men they should be little sexpot nymphos with cocaine addictions

[Anonymous No.22187325]

Is there a name for this construct where instead of
>After rounding the bend he could no longer see. It was foggy. He turned his lights on
you write
>After rounding the bend and could no longer see. Fog. He turned his lights on
It's not a particularly good example but it gets the idea across

[Anonymous No.22187331]

>>22187309
You should pretty much never use present outside of short experimental stories. It's difficult to pull off well, especially over an extended period of time. This is because they are fast, stuck in the moment. And much like sprinting, the longer you do that, the sloppier your form is going to get, making flaws obvious.

[Anonymous No.22187332]

>>22187309
my personal preference is that unless there is a specific reason for it - you're reading journal entries, your narrator is someone telling you a story that happened in the past, basically there is some in universe reason to hear about something that happened - then it should be in present tense by default
purely my personal preference

[Anonymous No.22187334]

>>22187322
I definitely don't want to make "porn lesbians." But I don't want to limit my audience, either.

[Anonymous No.22187342]

>>22187322
I pace my erotica like sex is paced
>Titilating hook sentence that makes you hard
>a few minutes of buildup
>climax
>emotional cooldown that you can read in the refractory period
>add one key erotic moment during the cooldown in case you didn't cum at the climax

[Anonymous No.22187373]

>>22187342
>add one key erotic moment
What?

[Anonymous No.22187387]

>>22187373
It's clearly a euphemism. Keys are penises, locks are vaginas.

[Anonymous No.22187396]

>>22187373
I guess key isn't the right away. Basically you want some small but arousing thing to happen after the main climax that can push the people who were still on the edge

[Anonymous No.22187425]

im going to try and make an anthology consisting of 4 short horror stories

[Anonymous No.22187439]

>>22187425
and they all end with everybody walking the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.22187552]

>>22187300
And then you woke up. What does that have to do with its realism anyway?

[Anonymous No.22187874]

>>22186918
>A hooker is probably not going to have long, complex thoughts
But a porn star would.

[Anonymous No.22188108]

>>22187150
>>22187202
Ripped from the headlines, even!
https://www.breitbart.com/crime/2023/06/16/man-allegedly-raped-dog-threatened-to-kill-mom-if-she-told-cops/

[Anonymous No.22188114]

>>22187269
Do you see existing novels do that, or do they find a more interesting and engaging way to achieve the same effect?
Your question seems to betray a lack of reading.

[Anonymous No.22188129]

New thread >>22188126

[Anonymous No.22188886]

>>22187325
Sentence fragment.