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/lit/ - Literature

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2212650 No.2212650 [Reply] [Original]

I don't know where else to bitch about essay writing so I'll do it here.

>wake up
>going to start writing an essay FIRST THING
>masturbate for eight hours
>WHOOPS

>finish whole essay in six hours
>get to the end
>conclusion time
>takes two hours to get the conclusion written

>> No.2212651

>group essay why
>it's 12:45
>get a message from group member
>"bro do you have your part done?"
>working on it, I'll have it to you by 1:00
>type out 2 bitchin pages in 15 minutes
>A+

>> No.2212668

>assigned an essay.
>procrastinate for a few weeks.
>frame general outline in my head.
>write it down in concrete terms.
>expand into essay.
>finish it in 2 hours the night before it's due.
>mfw I do this for every essay and get straight As.

>> No.2212982

>Get given essay, month until deadline.
>Go to uni library straight after and withdraw 10 books.
>Books piled on bedroom floor for 3 weeks.
>Final week, move books around bedroom.
>Night before essay deadline, smash out essay.
>Make up quotes and use books to reference.
>First on every essay.

OH UNI YOU SO FUNNY!

>> No.2212993

This thread has inspired me. I must write two research essays (6 pg double spaced) and basically do a creative writing portfolio (85% not written) in a little over a week.

BUT: Today I'm gonna break all of that writing up into assignments that I'll schedule over the next week. Then, each day, I'll simply do what I've been assigned, and finish that shit.

For the research essays, I'll create superoutlines that evolve directly into the real finish products. I'll simply make the outlines more and more detailed. So pumped to truck through this shit, get my 'A's, and head home.

>> No.2212997
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2212997

>Get assigned essay
>Go to library that same day and efficiently acquire the sources I need, early on, and without competition
>bang out the paper over the next two nights
>spend the next two months doing my course readings and participating in class discussions
>go out and get high/get drunk with my non-academia friends. Don't have to worry about school work at all because I finish it right away.

>laugh inside at everyone turning into zombies in "paper week" and "finals week"

>Finish right at the top of my class for every class
>receive 10s of thousands of dollars in scholarships and grants

>> No.2213002
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2213002

i've got an 'impact of industrialisation 1750-1880' piece of fucking dogshit to write for monday and its destroying my soul.

>> No.2213008

>>2212997
Dude. I will become you.

>> No.2213013

>>2212982
>>2212668

exactly what I did too

don't know whether it means I'm meant to feel good about myself or bad about the standards in academia...

>> No.2213014

>>2213002

College/uni?

>> No.2213015

>>2213008

That'll be tricky, seeing as he's fiction.

>> No.2213028

>>2213015

You may be right. But I don't know if it matters.

>> No.2213026

>>2213013

The way I see it is that if I can write a top-marks essay 16 hours before the deadline, then if I actually apply myself a week before the deadline I shall nobel prize that shit.

I know it isn't true, but fuck it man, uni is shit.

>> No.2213025

>>2213014

college, its like a foundation year. uni next year.

>> No.2213030 [SPOILER] 
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2213030

>>2213015
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>> No.2213038

I'm writing my dissertation on Kerouac's spontaneous prose and i'm thinking about trying to write the whole thing in one night to get that spontaneous feel. Would be pretty funny.

>> No.2213048

>masturbate for eight hours
sounds like OP is talking about essay writing on adderall

>> No.2213206

>>2213030
how is that even possible


how

>> No.2213235

>>2213206
It's actually pretty easy. I've had nothing less than A- during my high school and college years. And I'm 'thick as shit'.

>> No.2213245

>>2213235
Who called you 'thick as shit'? Your parents? Your friends? Your teacher?

>> No.2213250

>Go to a Uni that is top 20 in the world
>Could never get away with the shit that you guys do

>> No.2213264
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2213264

>>2213250

>mfw I went to one of the top 5 uni's in the UK and started my 10k word dissertation 2 days before it was due, wrote about half of it while on acid, handed it in a day late and, after having marks deducted, still got a first

>> No.2213269

>>2213245
Parents, my high school english teacher adn friends. So all of teh above. Plus I know myself I'm not smart. My friends talk about focault's theories of discipline and punishment, Beccaria's legal legislation changes etc.
Shit I've learned, and I just look at them lost and confused.

>> No.2213304

>plan to write essay in 4 hours
>select topic: collage in visual and non-visual media
>ingest amphetamines
>write for 28 consecutive hours
>essay is now about Berlin Dada and Japanese noise music
>A

>> No.2213424

Sounds like you smoked meth after waking up, crashed at the conclusion.

>> No.2213428

>>2213264
Please for all that is holy, post link now, please.