/wg/ - Writing General

[Anonymous No.22122196]

Introspection Edition

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ

RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Thread Theme: https://youtu.be/qPp0ppCjBVU

Previous thread: >>22112180

[Anonymous No.22122373]

anyone else need an editor? i'm free for the next few days

[Anonymous No.22122534]

>>22122373
why no I will forego punctuation and capitalization arbitrary
make paragraphs retain my ortographical miustakes and
slap colloqualisms onto my writing fr fr independently
od the register while freely did
interjecting poetry of the shoddy kind
and completwly
ignoring the constraints of the medium and temporal congruity
no i will not care if it doesn't rhime

How could you tell?

[Anonymous No.22122544]

ok /lit/ here's a exercise for you:
explain your surroundings in your finest prose

[Anonymous No.22122878]

A story that asks what (dysfunction) it takes to be modern fantasy writer: THE FANTASIST'S GRINDSET

https://tookys.substack.com/p/the-fantasists-grindset

[Anonymous No.22122929]

>>22122196
I introspectively did 30k in 3 days while standing up to symbolize me being part of the elect, wgmi

[Anonymous No.22122949]

>>22122544
There are cars driving past and are making noise. Even though I do not any more feel like one of the boys, all the toys I used to pass the time and leftover food are out in the open. The bed is unmade but not unslept, and while the standing desk motivates to write actively, it siphons so much energy that the act of writing is coming and going in short extreme bursts. There are trees! And there is a shopping mall. Who funds our shopping sprees, I wonder, as work is scarce in this town, Rise up! Make my own work, uplift my schooling so that it can make me an income, even though the writing is stream-of-consciousness, similar to how the days are spent on foot in this to United States-standards small town with its medieval city center.

[Anonymous No.22122950]

>>22122929
I can tell by your sentence structure alone you're on another level.

[Anonymous No.22122964]

>>22122950
Which level would that be? I suspect every post in here except mine coming from ChatGPT or the likes now, but yet I am kind of eager - not wholeheartedly, this is still the internet - for the answer. I know that this is a possible bait. I am just not a fish anymore. Maybe I'll be in another life again, when taking the bait is more dangerous. While waiting for your answer I'll grind to 40k.

[Anonymous No.22122983]

>>22122373
Oh gdi I forgot to rate your service I got busy. I will try to do that after w-rk.

[Anonymous No.22123012]

>>22122983
no worries

[Anonymous No.22123016]

When do you know when your work is done?

[Anonymous No.22123025]

>>22123016
I normally concieve of the ending before most other scenes. By fully edited, well, who knows. Mainly just give it enough reads over a few days and if you can't see places to improve, well I guess it's done

[Anonymousn No.22123057]

>>22123016
When I've ironed out all the big issues and no longer have the energy to fix the small ones.

[Anonymous No.22123077]

>>22123016
It's never done. You have to give up and call it done when it does enough.

[Anonymous No.22123176]

Today has been such a fuck up, couldn't write, couldn't even read. What the fuck

[Anonymous No.22123193]

>>22123176
That's me every day. Wake up at 6pm even though I have alarms all day

[Anonymous No.22123437]

>>22122544
I squinted. An exercise? I already had some - an hour long walk. Got to watch out for that joint decay. It would be embarrassing at such a young age. Oh well, whatever. So, I look before me again and examine my ASUS monitor. I can't measure distance and I bought it years ago - I have no clue how big it is. At any rate, already boredom is threatening to overwhelm me, but I am pushing on because I have nothing better to do. Right, the monitor - okay colours. You can't see anything if you look from the side, but that suits me just fine.
I look down. What do I see? An old keyboard. The keys, they are worn out. You can't even see the letters anymore. But at least the keyboard glows. Good old RGB. And my mouse, my mouse sucks too. I've got to throw this shit out at some point, buy new ones. As a born and bred poorfag, however, I do not spend money unless I absolutely have to. All my clothes are ripped - I don't replace them. I don't need intact clothes - all the tears are on places you can't see, when the outfit is properly selected. I can get at least another ten years from this stuff.
To my side lies a long mirror, propped up against the wall. It looks like it's ready to fall at any moment. It is because a retard put it there, that is, I did. I put it there. But it's not fallen yet, so it's fine. It's kind of dirty. It could use a cleaning. If only somebody could do that.
Back to what's before me. My desk. It's cluttered. It's tiny. It looks hilarious.
There's bottles rolling on the floor. They're all full. Full of what, you ask, with horror and trepidation? Fizzy drinks, actually. I organised a little party recently. No one attended. Anyway.
I try to focus on my task, but my thoughts distract me - why would anon ask for a description of my surroundings? "Data mining thread?" No, that's just a shitpost. But anyway, anon must be kind of dumb - he's basically asking me to write him a "my diary desu" chapter, and a boring one at that. Oh well. His fault. Moving on.
To the right of me lies another desk - a larger desk, though no less funny. It is utterly cluttered with books. I am not reading them. I have not read a book in six months - a physical book, that is. The dusty stack, it makes for a sad sight. Something melancholic about it, like it's mutely appealing for help it knows will never come. Kind of like zoomers.
Before my second desk is a funny looking chair. It hurts my kidneys every time I use it. I am too lazy to swap my chairs, so I use it anyway - but not in the past six months, for the aforementioned reasons.

[Anonymous No.22123454]

Writing reilgion in high fanasty?

I have these moth people I made I had some ideas about their reilgion being based around light (The Moon, fire, ect)

However I was curious How do you write reilgions in your fanasty worlds lore? What do you think should be taken into account?

[Anonymous No.22123456]

>>22123193
go to bed at 11
I don't care if your friends are up playing videogames, you need to repair your body
I literally cannot write on suboptimal sleep, much less on a fucked cycle

[Anonymous No.22123478]

>>22123454
make the gods they pray to eminently, obviously real in order to better illuminate the empty, godless nature of our own world

[Anonymous No.22123492]

the appendices keep growing. they're over half the length of the main text and no end in sight. I think this whole project might have been a mistake.

[Anonymous No.22123590]

>>22122109
My current list of supplements include a multivitamin, a B-50 vitamin, lion's mane, CoQ10, and 120 mg of gingko.
CoQ10 and gingko by themselves had not apparent effect on me, but the combination gave me a surge of energy.

[Anonymous No.22123602]

>>22121827
Then please share your secrets of RoyalRoad game-lit success, O Learned One.
After all, you're not a pseud, are you?

[Anonymous No.22123607]

>>22123454
with those big fantasy concepts like religion, pantheons, whatever, it's extra important to represent them with concrete detail. It needs to be representable through physical objects and characters otherwise it might as well not exist.

[Anonymous No.22123728]

If I uploaded my ya fantasy novel to rr, would you guys be up for reading it

[Anonymous No.22123730]

>>22123728
sure why not. It's not like anyone is reading mine. I'll even give you a rating to boost your popularity

[Anonymous No.22123785]

>>22123728
Is this something about a foot fetish?

Its alright but the focus on feet is strange to me

[Anonymous No.22123822]

Just wrote the opening of a story about a mad scientist and his minion. Let me know what you think
https://pastebin.com/ER5fBnJr

[Anonymous No.22123833]

https://pastebin.com/9mtmziTM

A short story I wrote about the time I went to a bullfighting restaurant.

Please feel free to tear me apart and tell me how I will never make it. All feedback is appreciated.

[Anonymous No.22123839]

>>22123730
Thank you
>>22123785
I don't have a foot fetish. They're cuddling together for warmth despite their inexperience and trepidation. It's just supposed to be a cute moment between them.

[Anonymous No.22123885]

>>22123454
It depends on how important the religious aspect is for your work. In mine the religion won't be as prominently featured except in regards to things where it makes sense for it to have an impact, like customs surrounding marriage, societal structure in regards to where divine authority is derived from and how it influences rulers and the societal hierarchy, social norms, etc. Sprinkling stuff like this in throughout a work makes the religion exist and have a real impact on your world without having to overtly talk about theology. The other way to do it is to quite literally talk about it, but I'd avoid infodumping. People have a habit of making up tons of lore and then feeling the need to tell you all about it or otherwise "it'll go to waste," it's the sunk cost fallacy at play and poorly executed exposition will damage your work.

[Anonymous No.22123894]

>>22122964
>>22123437
impressive, very nice

[Anonymous No.22123920]

How long does it take to hear back about a short story?

[Anonymous No.22123950]

>>22123833
>Error, this is a private paste or is pending moderation. If this paste belongs to you, please login to Pastebin to view it.
What's super gay is even setting it to private is worthless if the filters decide you wrote the wrong thing, meaning only you can see it.

[Anonymous No.22123958]

>>22122544
The light from my phone engulfs my view and glazy eyes reflect all that can be seen at the final twilight of this day; my bed, my pillow, my arms, my phone, the soft underbelly of my plush fox toy. Beyond these the rest was reclaimed by darkness, a thin veil of uncertainty that blurred both vision and memory. I'm sure that when I wake up it'll all still be there as I remember it, so I don't look, and I'm sure that I would be able to see it right if I moved my phone, so I don't remember. Why should I shine light on every mystery? Much less when my world is slowly drying up, the weight of its lids ever so heavier and the yawning southern winds draw out a bore. You might never get a description of all of my surroundings, as morrow be and were, but I can sleep with that. Good night.

[Anonymous No.22123975]

>>22123950
Just post it to catbox.moe .
They even take PDFs.

[Anonymous No.22123988]

>>22123833
>a bullfighting restaurant.
Do you get to eat the bull after they kill it?

[Anonymous No.22123990]

>>22123950
wtf, it worked on my phone

how do I post shit, no one wants to look at a google doc

[Anonymous No.22123992]

“It’s our favourite restaurant. You’ll see why when we get there.” Facundo shifted into fifth gear and the small engine growled as he pressed his foot on the gas. “We all love los toros. If you think an ice hockey fight is exciting, you won’t forgot this.” The four door Toyota bounced on the dusty highway. Facundo accelerated, jerked the steering wheel, and passed a semitrailer. The colonial town center was long gone and now the side of the road was littered with small ranches, rusty auto shops and cheap vendors protected from the sun under zinc rooftops.

Facundo – named by his father in honour of the founder of Bacardi rum - stretched his arm into the backseat and one of the boys placed a can of Victoria in his hand. By now I was comfortably buzzed and the beer I was drinking had helped me cool off. With all four of us in the tiny sedan the car was stifling, the air-conditioning blew lukewarm and offered no relief. As Facu downshifted a gear and passed a truck full of ranch workers on the gravel shoulder of the highway, I thought to myself, “I’ll crack open one more, what else can I do?”

The sky was glowing orange as day turned to dusk. The sun was beginning to set, and a cool chill descended into the desert. The restaurant had a humble exterior, with a façade like a simple hacienda and a red brick sidewalk led us to the entrance. A young hostess greeted us in the lobby. “Por aqui muchachos.” She said, showing her white teeth and the tip of her pink tongue as she spoke. Inside, every inch of the peeling white paint was covered in memorabilia. The dining room was like a museum dedicated to all the greats. Manolete was there, with his slicked black hair, Morante Camacho’s innocent face, in black and white, before he ever made his Seville debut, and above the kitchen, an oil painting of Juan Jose Padilla and his mangled face overlooked the diners. In between the monuments and shrines, deep pink and blood red capotes adorned the walls and, on the TV’s, perched in the corners, highlights from last week’s fights in Europe played on a loop.

At the table the drinks started to arrive. Buckets of iced beer; Victoria and Pacifico, and countless highballs of rum and mineral water with splashes of cola. We ordered platters of seared beef, chicken, chorizo, with chilis, salsas and tortillas, splashing lime and salt over every bite. In between bites, Francisco, a short law student whose parents both came from Andalusia, tapped me on the shoulder and rolled up his sleeve. “This is the bruise I got last time I was here.” he grinned. His arm was splotched with pale blue and purple contusions. “I drank too much, and I messed up the timing of the, uh…” He searched for his words “the, the little bull.”
“When was the last you were here?” I asked.
“Three weeks ago,” he smiled.
When the meal was finished all of us were happily stoned and satisfied from the food and booze.

[Anonymous No.22123995]

>>22123992

In the back of the restaurant there was a dark corridor that went beside the kitchen. The hallway opened up. Outside, the sky was dark blue, full of stars and the ranchera music inside the restaurant was muffled by the wooden doors. “Algunas mas,” Facu lifted up another aluminum bucket and handed us each a brown bottle, dripping in cold water. “last one before we go!” he said, he pushed a shock of brown hair out of his eyes and took a slug of beer. “Who goes first?” asked Saul, the quiet accounting student. “The Canadiense, of course,” said Francisco, slapping me on the back. “Here, your capote. No muleta for you.”
“Don’t we need to sign some type of form? A liability waiver?” I asked.
“You don’t think it’s obvious fighting a bull, even a baby one, is dangerous?” Facu asked.
“Good point.”
“Hombre, you don’t need a lawyer, Isn’t there the phrase, ‘you mess with the bull, you get the horns’ in English?” he said, laughing.

He was right, I just assumed there would be some type of bureaucracy involved when you let some teenagers fight an adolescent bull, but a bull nonetheless, on your property. “He isn’t even bred for the big leagues, don’t worry.” Francisco said as I grabbed the red cape and opened the latch into the dirt ring. “His horns aren’t very sharp either.” The Mexicans laughed and sat on the brick wall that encircled the lone bull. It had short black fur. “He’s still growing,” I thought as I inched forward. The beast looked at me anxiously as I approached, turning its neck at every sign of movement. It snarled and dragged its hoof across the dirt. “Don’t forget the safety gear.” Yelled Facu, urging me to lift up the faded pink rag. It was well worn, and nothing like the elegant linens that lined the dining hall.

[Anonymous No.22123996]

>>22123995
I continued my approach towards the bull. Its eyes danced in its sockets, reacting every time I made a change in direction. My heart was pounding, and the beer and rum seemed to be wearing off, replaced with sweat and adrenaline. I put the capote in front of me and looked back at the Mexicans. The hostess was dropping more beer and had stopped to watch the evenings attraction. “Now I have to do something,” I thought. “I don’t want her to think Canadians are pussies.” I kicked at the bottom of the thick fabric. “Come on!” I yelled at the beast. It snorted as I advanced. “Watch out for your balls!” Saul yelled, breaking his silence for the first time since I entered the ring. “fuck this.” I thought as I contemplated the bull. I kicked at the capote, antagonizing the animal, and then, success. It charged, bringing all two-hundred pounds up to speed as it craned its neck downward, positioning its horns for impact. Whoosh. I jumped to the left and the bull passed through the pink blanket. I ran around and quickly reset myself. The cow charged again, and again it head butted limp fabric. The Mexicans cheered. “Ok, ok, your turn.” I said, running to safety behind a concrete barrier, now protected from the bull.

Facundo, the drunkest of us all, took the capote and swaggered to the center of the ring. Raising his hands, playing up to the small crowd, he goaded the beast to make a move. Without hesitation it obliged. Whoosh. The bull passed inches from Facu’s legs. “Facil!” he cried, enjoying being the center of attention. The bull reset itself and again charged. Another group left their table and joined us to watch the spectacle. Facu oozed confidence and played up to the growing crowd. He threw the capote on the dirt and approached the bull unarmed. It panted heavily, exhausted from an evening of humiliation. Facu looked over, turning his body to the crowd and winked at the hostess. “FACU!” yelled Saul. I was frozen in place. The bull, with one last burst of energy, surged towards Facundo, still showboating. The beast slammed its horns into his knees, knocking him to the ground, and drove its dull horns into his gut. “Is this a joke? Are they winding me up, trying to trick the gringo?” I thought to myself. I dismissed the idea immediately as Francisco tossed his beer and lit out from the corral. Saul ran to the side and screamed and hollered, trying to get the bulls attention. The beast jerked its neck violently, pinning Facundo to the ground with its horns. The crowd gasped in concern as Francisco and I got Facundo to his feet. He was weak and unsteady and caked in mud as we dragged him to safety. He collapsed on the wooden benches.

[Anonymous No.22123999]

>>22123996
Facundo groaned in agony, coughing, squirming in his tattered clothes. “Llama al hospital!” someone cried. The hostess was panicking. Facu turned onto his side, pushing us away. The crowd hushed and analyzed his body, trying to see where the horn had pierced him. The muffled sound of a mariachi could be heard from inside the restaurant. Facundo rolled over, his eyes squeezed shut, and moaned in pain. “That pinche cow stepped on my fucking balls.” I furled my brow. “Is he okay?” I asked myself. Deep in contemplation, I looked to Saul, who looked back at me. “Then this will help,” Fransico cried from behind us, throwing a bucket of ice water on Facundo, forcing him to sit up as the water shocked him awake and the crowd erupted into laughter.

In the parking lot the hostess, Anabel, joined us. I lit a cigarette and exhaled through my mouth and nose. “So will you come back to San Luis Potosi?” She asked. I passed her a beer. Facu shifted on the curb and adjusted the bag of ice on his testicles. “Saul, you have to drive, I am way to way to drunk,” Francisco interrupted, “besides, Facu can’t, women suck at driving,” he said, laughing at his own joke.

[Anonymous No.22124003]

>>22123999

That was annoying, but anyways, heres my story, what do you guys think?

[Anonymous No.22124006]

>>22122544
I'm still here. I can't leave. There's a room that I kept for years. It's fallen to unseemly forces now.

There's indecision here. Yes, indecision. Bear with me. Do me a favor and try to see things as I do. The door is ajar. There's a pair of cardboard boxes at opposite corners. The flaps obscure their contents. One's for packing. It's half full. The other's for trash. It's still here. Through a half-open closet door I can see my cupboard. At the top, jeans sprawl, their legs reaching downwards for a denim jacket. Coils of belt unravel and drape like overgrown vines. There are stacks of clothes too: folded at the bottom, gradually unravelling. I don't remember buying them. I don't remember wearing them. I spent all weekend talking myself into doing my laundry. I still only managed to do half of it. Doesn't that seem like indecision to you?

That's not all. There's apathy too. I must seem pretentious to you. What does apathy even look like? I could describe it to you: but you'll have to see it for yourself. It looks like a laundry basket on its side at the doorway. A sleeping computer, slumbering for days, waiting to help with a task left unfinished. A bed unmade, curtains unwashed, books scattered like breadcrumbs in the hopes of reading something. Pictures hidden under unhung frames. Degrees and accolades that'll only find use as reminders of wasted time. I used to fantasize of bringing a girl here. I thought I'd accomplish things here.

Instead I spend my days wrangling abstracts. Sometimes I wonder if I can even control them. Other days I wonder if that'd even help.

[Anonymous No.22124035]

>>22122196
I have no idea how to write for multiple characters. To follow up on the last thread, two of the characters start out as shut-ins, but I want to explain how they get there to give their characters more background, like how a high school "queen bee" became an autistic mute, or whatever. Once the three main characters get together as a single unit, things will start moving along, but I need to set up everyone first.

[Anonymous No.22124039]

>>22124035
>how a high school "queen bee" became an autistic mute
Personal tragedy works.
Perhaps the love of her life was killed by a drunk driver on the night he proposed to her.

[Anonymous No.22124056]

>>22124035
>but I need to set up everyone first.
Do you though? If you're already thinking that's the interesting part, why not just go there first?
Having three neets slowly learn how to not only a) communicate but b) communicate their own failings and traumas is far more interesting than painting the pity picture
Especially when those revelations are diffused at the right moments to alter the moods and expectations of a given scene

[Anonymous No.22124057]

>>22122544
Technically, it was my room. Untidy bed next to a window, battered wooden dresser with books gathering dust on top of it, oversized tv, and a closet. It all occupied a quarter of the cramped space. The rest of the area is taken up by a roommate's boxes holding random things that lacked a better storage. A kayak that was never used, a packed up canopy, an unplugged air filter device. There's also four chairs, three rolling computer types, and one large kitchen chair that couldn't fit at the table. So it got thrown to the only area available. I sit on my queen sized mattress, hunched over a folding dinner tray that acts as my desk for the outdated laptop. It's dusty in here and the carpet could use a vacuum. I'm thankful. I have the only other bedroom in the apartment. The perks of being the oldest I'd say, if there was anyone to say it to. The other is given to the married couple aka mom and dad. My siblings have taken the living room to heart, sleeping on the couch, feet to feet. Six adults and one teen making barely due under one very small roof. The older I get the more I feel like we're total strangers that happen to share resemblance and a last name. It's partially my fault of course. I'm sitting at an awkward angle on a laptop with only thirteen tabs open, and a word document, while two sisters are on dates with boyfriends now that their lesbian phase is over, my brother is banging his girlfriend at her mom's house, and the youngest is doing who knows what while talking to her friends on her phone.

[Anonymous No.22124058]

Level 0: Talking about writing but never following through.
Level 1: Sitting down, writing anything, and saving it.
Level 2: Writing a complete story or work.
Level 3: Releasing a complete story for others to read it.
Level 4: Writing multiple stories and releasing them.
Level 5: Making any amount of money from your writing.
Level 6: Making enough writing income that you move up a tax bracket.
Level 7: Writing income allows you to quit your dayjob.
Level 8: Writing income moves you up an economic class.
Level 9: Your writing makes you a part of pop culture.
Level 10: Your writing cements you as part of history after your own death.

[Anonymous No.22124062]

>>22124058
Hmm I'm at level 5.

[Anonymous No.22124070]

>>22124058
Since my income from writing doesn't even cover the copyright-office fee...I'm at level 4.
Verification not required...harsh.

[Anonymous No.22124082]

>>22124070
Hah! My key was not spend a dime on advertising and just Twitter/tik tok/Instagram spam

[Anonymous No.22124089]

>>22122544
It's me, the second anon. It's 3 AM - I just woke up, and I can't go back to sleep. As soon as I opened my eyes, a million ideas started flooding into my brain. Your exercise made me remember just how much easier, quicker and more pleasant it is for me to write in first person. Now, I want to write a vulgar, pulpy, transgressive action comedy novel. It's like divine inspiration. I was already working on a serious, respectable project - what have you done to me? What am I supposed to do now? I clicked this thread on pure chance, hoping for momentary entertainment. Now, my entire creative process seems derailed, possibly indefinitely.

[Anonymous No.22124095]

>>22123454
>However I was curious How do you write reilgions in your fanasty worlds lore? What do you think should be taken into account?
If you study Classics, you can just copy and mix and match stuff that you think is cool, and that works out great.

[Anonymous No.22124119]

>>22124039
Oh she's already got a backstory, and it involves a car accident, yes.

>>22124056
The third person is not a NEET.

[Anonymous No.22124141]

I have recovered from my illness. I have written 2,000 words today, and the draft is now 2/3 done.

[Anonymous No.22124143]

>>22124058
Level 3 here. Maybe I'll hit level 4 with my new story. Maybe
>captcha: JANKY

[Anonymous No.22124176]

I'm insecure about my protagonist because I have gained some sort of awareness of how /pol/ and /pol/ beliefs, be it on this site or general population could reflect or be projected into it.

/pol/, other anons, and racial discourse finally ruined my brain.

I can't do a male protagonist because they would be too easy to dislike.
If I do a girl protagonist, because people don't like that.
Given human designs, I can't pick any race.
White? Dangerous implications.
Black? Dangerous implications.
Asian? The best of all options but still bad.
Latin? Dangerous implications.

[Anonymous No.22124181]

How do I know how good my writing is, if I'm too embarrassed to share it anywhere? Been silently working at it for years and gradually improving, but it's difficult to tell just how amateur I am. All I've shared it with is close friends, and it's not like they can really tell me how good / bad it is.

[Anonymous No.22124193]

>>22124176
you're retarded and probably shouldn't write anything if this is how you view the world
>>22124181
literally what these threads are for

[Anonymous No.22124197]

>>22124193
>literally what these threads are for
Being anonymous doesn't make it less embarrassing though. If that was the case I could just post it online somewhere.

[Anonymous No.22124203]

>>22124193
Sorry but I'm not really white so any choice reflects bad on me.
I pick black? Now I am making propaganda OR I'm not doing it right
I pick white or default? Now I am either fetishizing OR attacking
Asian? You get it...so on so on

[Anonymous No.22124204]

>>22124203
Have you considered not giving a shit? Christ, you /pol/ people always make mountains out of molehills.

[Anonymous No.22124209]

>>22124176
I know a person like you irl and I pity him tremendously. But because I don't know you personally, I can at least laugh at you. You are not a creative. You are a quivering, trembling, cowardly conformist who can't stand the thought that someone might disapprove of you. You are struggling to be creative because your mindset is incompatible with that of a creator. A creator creates, and he creates what is natural to him, what he wills, what comes from within. He's not constantly trying to pander and adjust his appeal to the outside in order to avoid some kind of negative reinforcement, like a yelping dog that takes its beating well and good but tries to look pitiable enough to make the master stop hitting it. You are a man. Live as one, or pay the cost.
>>22124197
If you think it'd help, we could accuse you of cowardice and call you ethnic slurs until you cave in? Like that other anon, it sounds to me like you're way too much in your head. I post my writing here and no one reads it. That's life. Who's gonna judge you? What's that gonna mean to you? Nothing. A creator creates, a critic critiques. The two are incompatible. The point of improving your writing is to share it, to make the experience of sharing it more fulfilling for everyone involved. Unless you are just planning to write for yourself, you'll need to learn to just go out there. The point of the critical mindset is to improve your work, not to choke off creativity and feedback. That would be entirely counterproductive.

[Anonymous No.22124218]

>>22124209
>>22124204
I wasn't like tis until recently. I've gained a nasty paranoia on what others think of whatever I am involved in. I know it's pathetic, I can't stop it.

[Anonymous No.22124221]

>>22124209
>Who's gonna judge you?
Not knowing who's going to judge me just makes it all the more terrifying.
>What's that gonna mean to you?
My work has never been critiqued before. There's about a 99% chance that it's crap, I'm aware of this. But having that confirmed would crush me, because it'd mean I'm bad at doing something I love, something that I've put a lot of time into. It's happened with other hobbies I tried to get into. I put a lot of effort into it, I tried sharing it, a close friend criticized my skill, and I lost all faith in my ability to improve.

[Anonymous No.22124256]

>>22124221
It's okay, everyone has said my writing is crap. I press on. And just released a product only a select few liked

[Anonymous No.22124260]

>>22124256
>everyone has said my writing is crap. I press on.
I don't have that sort of resistance to criticism. It's the same reason that I avoid violence, I've no experience with getting punched in the face.
>just released a product only a select few liked
That's another problem. The types of stories I write would be liked by an incredibly niche group of people. I write what I like, not what I think other people might like.

[Anonymous No.22124262]

>>22124176
Bump

[Anonymous No.22124265]

>>22124218
Then write anonymously. Or write characters who aren't even human. There are so many solutions regardless of if you want to tackle your paranoia directly.

[Anonymous No.22124288]

>>22124218
Look, I said what I said to give you a bit of a shock, a bit of a kick in the ass, so you can know to overlook this shit. It's important not to look down on yourself. It's ok to be who you are. It's ok to live, and exist, and occupy space in the world. Find out what you love, and do that. You are not those other people who want you to do this and that. You are yourself. And you have wants too. What do you want? What is important to you? What is natural to you? Figure that out, and do that. And you're not pathetic, and you can stop it. There is nothing to stop in the first place. You're actively going out of your way to consider these things - this is an extra effort on top of normal existence. If you look within and are willing to just let all these chaotic and pointless thoughts go, you will see that you still have things you want to do. And you'll be able to do them. Before you try to do anything, learn to relax and be authentic to yourself. Once you are like that, once you have attained calm, you will do things automatically, almost as if you don't have to put any effort in, because you'll know what you want and you'll gravitate towards doing what you want.
>>22124221
>Not knowing who's going to judge me just makes it all the more terrifying.
Well, allow me to spoil the surprise. You're on /lit/, so we are all gay retards here. If anyone judges you, you can picture a fat gay retard clicking his tongue on the other end of the world.
>My work has never been critiqued before. There's about a 99% chance that it's crap, I'm aware of this. But having that confirmed would crush me, because it'd mean I'm bad at doing something I love, something that I've put a lot of time into. It's happened with other hobbies I tried to get into. I put a lot of effort into it, I tried sharing it, a close friend criticized my skill, and I lost all faith in my ability to improve.
You know what that means though, right? That's extreme clinging, extreme desire for control, extreme lack of confidence, extreme fear of failure. Failure is normal. Look around you, for God's sake. I mean, I hate that fat fuck Churchill, but he really was right when he said "Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm". Everybody fails. This is normal. This is how we grow and learn. Not to mention that a harsh critique doesn't necessarily mean that you're the one who failed - it is perfectly possible that the critic is the one who failed. Please understand that you are not God, nor is anyone on this board God, nor is anyone outside this board God. We all make mistakes. It is an indispensable part of life. Stop being afraid of mistakes. You have value as a human being, totally independently of any skill or practical use that the world may have for you. Respect yourself. A skill is something you have, not something you depend on for your raison d'etre. It can't provide you with that. If you try to get that from it, all you'll do is lose confidence and gain fear

[Anonymous No.22124292]

>>22124265
Can't. Not an option for all.
I think my paranoia is valid, Bendis is a hack and I hate caoedhit but writing Miles Morales got him called out for having a fetish on africans.
Or many other examples of fantasy races or causes compared to any equivalent, be it pol or not.

My problem is one of anxiety and not daring to be honest.

[Anonymous No.22124296]

>>22124292
I have never once considered the races of my characters or what they might mean. They may as well be randomly chosen from a funny spinning wheel. The fact that you put so much thought into it, and even what other writers do with it, astounds me. It's such an insignificant part of a character. You may as well be freaking out about a character having blonde hair. Oh no, they're going to think I have a blonde fetish. Nobody thinks like this except extremely paranoid people like you.

[Anonymous No.22124299]

>>22124296
It's just one aspect, I worry about a great many others but yes, you got the gist of it. I worry about any possible unintended meaning or reaction to what I do.
I wasn't like this at all until some months ago, 2 months to be precise.

[Anonymous No.22124311]

>>22124288
>extreme lack of confidence, extreme fear of failure.
I've got anxiety issues, so that's pretty much part and parcel. Being judged and looked down upon are among my greatest fears.
>Stop being afraid of mistakes.
That's much easier said than done. I'm aware of all the things you're saying, but my mind still doesn't stop acting the way it does. Knowing that other people fail all the time, even people way better than me, doesn't make my failures feel any less crushing.

[Anonymous No.22124314]

>>22124311
That's ok. Give yourself time. You're not a machine, it's not like you have to become perfectly rational at the snap of a finger. Give yourself time to process these things and remember that human beings are not tools and instruments. Our values does not depend on our skills or our successes. I don't imagine you would judge people on that basis. Consider extending the same courtesy towards yourself.

[Anonymous No.22124329]

>>22124311
I stopped writing for three months because I was afraid of comments on my work. All of them were even positive, or at least neutral, but the fear that someone is going to make a review that tears down everything I spent months writing prevented me from continuing. Eventually I decided to give everything another edit and keep going. But then I sat on it for over a week until I was watching a friend of mine streaming and I brought it up. He told me to just do it, because it is something that I enjoy, and I can't let others prevent me from enjoying it.
Basically what I'm saying is to rip the bandaid off. I got a pit in my stomach from even going on RoyalRoad and I cleared my cache so I didn't need to go there to log out and risk seeing a comment, but I still used the site to read. Once I got back to uploading, the feeling was lessened enough that it doesn't prevent me from using the site. Now my average views has been constantly going up, I finally broke past rank 6k and I'm down to 5.2k. Once again, you just need to do it, you are going to feel like complete shit and you are going to want to go back and delete it, but don't.

[Anonymous No.22124343]

>>22124329
Might be the best method for me, honestly. I'll keep it in mind, maybe just dive into the deep end if I write something I'm particularly proud of.

[Anonymous No.22124352]

>>22124299
I think the more you can offer other voices and points of view can help this. Don't give a clear stamp of approval for a character, but you can try to make readers empathize with all kinds of characters. Readers that refuse to have issues.
If you feel one voice or worldview is doing a disservice to your story by making it feel one-sided, then balance it.

[Anonymous No.22124397]

>>22122544
The bookshelf is my girlfriend's. She left it here with a box of miscellany when she moved out. Once, when her period was late, she came over and rummaged through it for a pregnancy test. It was negative. She set it on the book shelf when she left. I still havent thrown it away.

For the first three months I lived up here, I slept on a friends living room floor. I got so used to it that, when I took over her old room, I never bothered to get a bed. I sleep on two folded up wool blankets for padding and use a rolled up hoodie for a pillow. She calls me Raskolnikov.

Everyone says this house is haunted. A few people have seen a ghost in the living room and they say the chandelier collapsed on Halloween. Allegedly, there's a chair with arm and feet restraints in the basement, but I haven't gone down there to check. The air vent in my room has a brass grate with a floral design. The gaps between the winding vines are large enough to see straight into the duct. I woke up one night to the sound of breathing and thought I saw a pair of eyes behind the grate.

A little boy must have lived in this room at one time. The wallpaper in the closet depicts cowboys and indians fighting one another, galloping horses, and crossed revolvers.

When there was still a bed in this room, my girlfriend would get naked in full view of the window. When i asked if she was worried about the neighbors seeing, she asked, "What neighbors? The squaters in the crack den out there? Nah." There were washing machines and refrigerators in the yard next door, and the whole house slouched a great deal to the west. Ive never seen anyone on that lot. I dont close the blinds to undress either.

[Anonymous No.22124417]

>>22123454
The thing to pay attention to is what effect this fictional religion is going to have on the themes and patterns of the novel.

[Anonymous No.22124450]

>>22124006
Rate mine. Give me feedback. Anything works. I'm starving for engagement.

[Anonymous No.22124480]

If any of you ever make it into the public eye, keep your mouth shut. Serious. The less you say the better

People will find a way to misconstrue anything you say and twist your words around. It's better to just let your writing speak for itself and avoid any interviews or publicity if you can

[Anonymous No.22124524]

>1k today
>Also made proper chicken soup
I wish you could all know this feel.

[Anonymous No.22124571]

>tfw got to the point where a day feels wasted if I don't write and I always make time to write another chapter each day.
We're all gonna make it bros.

[Anonymous No.22124575]

>>22123016
When did you know that you were done writing that one-sentence long post?

>>22123454
For an old religion: One major religion in the set world
For a modern religion: Multiple religions which clash and try to comprehend each other

>>22123988
Eating dead animals is bullying, anon

>>22124003
This is what I thought: 'This is sharply realistic, Oh no wait this is an indulgence in alcohol story. Oh yes it is. Still I can visualize the whole story, and relate to it from personal experience albeit with different events. It's neatly written, according to the whole orderly shebang.'

>>22124058
This level-list is highly centered around personal gain. I'd like to see a level-list based around the evoking of emotion to supplement it.

>>22124141
You're making it, anon!

>>22124203
That's a weighing of factors that you can write about in itself in the first person singular! No worries, I do that too. Having pathos is not bad, whatever /pol/ or /fit/ will tell you.

>>22124480
Maybe, but humans are hard-wired to talk, it's really, really hard to not talk. You could also get a way with words and defend your work verbally to the utmost. Not that I am able to, but it can be done.

[Anonymous No.22124633]

i literally lack the ability to fucking visualize shit, like the whole "imagine a red apple in your haed" all black, just a void of nothingness.

So when I write, I feel like I just hide behind metaphors and similes too much. I wrote this today.

https://gaslightchronicles.com/history/theblackening

[Anonymous No.22124645]

- Setting: a modern normal everyday city/town
- Combat magic exists among a very small group of people
- It is peace time so there are currently no bad guys to fight
- Magic is kept a secret from the common people
- There exists a magical association (both magical and non-magical individuals like relatives can join) that helps keeps track of magical individuals and helps them if they need help
Given this, I'm having problems thinking what this magical association would do. Maybe a non-magical person can file paperwork or be the front desk clerk. A leader to manage the association. But besides that, not sure what the purpose of a magical association could be.
Anyone have ideas?

[Anonymous No.22124664]

>>22124645
>https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/35293/sokaiseva
Just don't do what the cultivation worshiper does and wholesale rip off other authors ideas.

[Anonymous No.22124679]

>Aim for 5000ish words a chapter
>First chapter is 9000 words
>Second chapter is 14000 words

Realistically what do I do here. Everything is relevant. Should I just have fewer, long chapters? Or try and do away with chapters altogether?

[Anonymous No.22124680]

>>22124633
Sounds like you have aphantasia, pretty cool. You're less likely to get ptsd.

[Anonymous No.22124709]

>>22123958
good night fren

[Anonymous No.22124716]

>>22124006
I wish I was competent enough to r8 my fren, sorry :(

[Anonymous No.22124727]

>>22124089
do it! do it! do it! do it! do it!

[Anonymous No.22124742]

>>22122949
there is no medieval city center in your town if you live in the United States.

[Anonymous No.22124764]

>>22124058
level 1 :(

[Anonymous No.22124789]

>>22124679
No way to just split them up? Not sure what method you're going about publishing it, if at all, but average chapter length is like 2000-4000 last I heard. I'd definitely be worried about the average reader's attention span in this day and age.

[Anonymous No.22124794]

>>22123992
>>22123995
>>22123996
>>22123999


Do you guys think the writing here is at a level where its worth submitting to any magazines, or local fiction competitions?
I'm really at a loss, and unable to judge my own work critically.

[Anonymous No.22124919]

How do I kill my inner critic and write faster? I have only written 20k words this year and it's half over.

[Anonymous No.22124927]

>>22124919
I wrote a entire book this week. Check the timeline.

[Anonymous No.22125022]

>>22124679
A chapter is just a device for telling a reader where a good stopping point is. There's no need to have every chapter be X pages, just put them where the stopping points are.

[Anonymous No.22125060]

>>22124633
I think you're doing fine. Your story read much better to me than most stories by authors who presumably have no such limitation to their imaginations.
I've never met anyone with aphantasia, so I'm not sure what advice I can give you that would help, but this is what came to my mine while I was reading your story:
Presuming that you are capable of remembering how an experience to you felt, would it then be effective for you to base your descriptions on that, even if you are not capable of visualizing them?
For instance, if you can vividly remember how choking on smoke felt, then you should be able to give a really passionate description of how the experience felt.
Often being able to convey to an audience how something felt to you is more important than being able to paint a picture of it with words.

As for the story itself; it isn't really my type of thing, but I still found it reasonably compelling. It reminded me of those setting introductions they write at the start of tabletop role playing games, but with impact and style.
btw I'm pretty sure you have a typo by the word "Atlantis".

[Anonymous No.22125069]

Can't remember a particular word, pretty sure it started with a vowel
when something is 'divinely fated' or 'arranged by higher powers'
"She found the coincidence perfectly _____"
Why can't I remember a word? Am I going senile?

[Anonymous No.22125128]

>>22123950
> even setting it to private is worthless if the filters decide you wrote the wrong thing
Im not a rightoid but, fuck libtards and their stupid PC culture.

[Anonymous No.22125136]

>>22125069
kismet?
karmic?

[Anonymous No.22125140]

>>22125069
Ordained.

[Anonymous No.22125173]

>>22125140
nope
I get the sense that it ends with -sce
rip brain

[Anonymous No.22125181]

I have done no military service and I need to learn what life is like for someone stationed in a warzone. Also tanks and operating a tank. I don't need to be extremely accurate since it's sci-fi and I can take liberties, but I want to get basic things right. Can someone help me with that? What should I read for research?

[Anonymous No.22125292]

>>22125069
Just make one up

[Anonymous No.22125302]

>>22125069
adventitious?

[Anonymous No.22125307]

How do I write filter text to fill pages

[Anonymous No.22125317]

>>22122544
Two monitors sat on a dusty wood table that he bought while stationed in Japan. A bookshelf stands behind him, holding his collection of Berserk manga and Dune. Scattered around the monitors was a miscellaneous mess of items-- to include dry erase markers, opened bubble water, and a trial box of male fertility pills.

The markers were paired with a nearby 3x2 white board on the wall. Bought back when he swapped into his new job, when he played at the idea of organization. The marks that sit on it now are at least two months old.

The bubble water is a must. It is a sign that he is healthy. Healthier. That he's trying. At least, more than he used to. The carbonation still irritates his acid reflux, but it's better than what it was before.

The fertility pills. The fucking fertility pills. Three miscarriages in 2022 and they went through all the tests trying to figure out the cause. It wasn't him. His sperm runs at the speed of someone ten years his junior, working through sophomore year in highschool. His wife? Not her fault either. It's frustrating when you don't have a cause.

His wife's desk sits catty-cornered to his own. There's a laptop, a small TV screen, and some cute decorations. She sits there far less than he sits at his, but when she does, her dog sleeps under the desk in a small bed kept just for it.

The office isn't much, but it's cozy. It's happier than it used to be. He's been divorced once. So has she. They're happier now, with the practice round out of the way. Even with the miscarriages. They'll try again soon. And in the future, they'll be happier.

[Anonymous No.22125338]

>>22125181
Go to any reddit for military folks, like the airforce or army, and search for posts about deployments. It's a pretty menial existence.

[Anonymous No.22125355]

>>22125307
You don't.

[Anonymous No.22125371]

>>22125317
three miscarriages? just stop trying, idiot

[Anonymous No.22125405]

>>22125371
You will be reminded of this post when the fate of your soul is decided.

[Anonymous No.22125449]

>>22125317
>Three miscarriages in 2022
no refunds jabbie

[Anonymous No.22125502]

>>22124716
It's okay anon. Did you like it though?

[Anonymous No.22125512]

>>22125405
>>22125449
these are the kinds of comments that should require a person identify themselves. You wouldn't say such hateful shit if your name was on it.

[Anonymous No.22125531]

>>22125069
auspicious

[Anonymous No.22125553]

>>22125371
>>22125449
Kill yourselves.

[Anonymous No.22125580]

>>22125512
One of those guys was sticking up for you lol

[Anonymous No.22125592]

>>22125580
i'm not the op, meant to quote >>22125371
, not the other guy

[Anonymous No.22125639]

>>22125512
>You wouldn't say such hateful shit if your name was on it.
I would and I do irl. Big pharma guinea pigs have demonstrated they're subhuman.
Hey bro, if your wife did get the jab(s), do not let her get any more boosters. The jab interferes with the ability of the fertilized egg to stick to the uterus, in addition to creating cysts. Give her some time to hopefully have her system detox from that shit and better luck this year.

[Anonymous No.22125688]

How receptive is Royal Road to anti-heroes? I’ve an idea for a story, and am working on it, but the main protagonist is mainly driven by greed, is mostly amoral, and has very little redeeming qualities. Would such a protagonist cause rhe story to get review bombed?

[Anonymous No.22125699]

>>22122544
I live in the smallest apartment on the topmost floor of the ugliest building of a quite beautiful street—though at the rear where I only get to see the garden and only if I crane my neck. Regulatorily speaking this is the fourth floor, the utmost that may be built without an elevator, but I have to cover five flights of stairs to go outside.

All the furniture reached me through different routes. My mother once worked at this primitive wooden desk and the imitation leather recliner I inherited from her mother, who used to lounge on it in front of the TV. A previous occupant erected the brutalist beechen geometry of the closet, complete with shoddy assembly that makes it wobble when opening the door. The microwave was my cousin's until a different cousin gifted him one that still had its turntable. Yesterday I bought an air purifier and lugged it through two train stations and up five flights and now it clears my nose and stuffs my ears.

And all of it, without exception, can trace its lineage to IKEA. The Swedes colonized us (perhaps in payback for a 17th-century war) and one decade ago even moved their capital here (purportedly for tax reasons). I sometimes fantasize about stepping into one of the other stores with their small product ranges and provincial names but they're probably more expensive and I don't trust their salesmen.

[Anonymous No.22125710]

What's the best way to advertise?

[Anonymous No.22125751]

If you were to write about Goats (the animal) what would write about?

[Anonymous No.22125754]

>>22125688
you're fine
the one big sin that readers hate is protagonist failure. even setbacks they don't like. if your character keeps winning and asspulling and getting stronger they'll be happy.

[Anonymous No.22125773]

Is it weird that the more I plan a story in advance, the worse it ends up being? I know about the whole pantser vs planner thing, and I'm definitely the former, but still. My best story had an initial outline that was 1 sentence long. Anything more complex than that generally crumples when I try to put it into writing.

[Anonymous No.22125791]

>>22125773
For me I find planning the story is very helpful and keeps me on track.

[Anonymous No.22125792]

>>22125338
Is there a way to learn that doesn't involve browsing reddit? I want it to be a pleasant research

[Anonymous No.22125802]

>>22125792
Try a library, ask friends and family, use a search engine, read website archives, talk with chatgpt.

[Anonymous No.22125805]

>>22125773
that's not weird at all. a little planning, setting some guideposts along the way, allows you to naturally add things as you go. but setting everything up into a rigid structure beforehand is stultifying and flat out no fun

[Anonymous No.22125808]

>>22125792
just make shit up. you said it was scifi. here's how life is in a warzone: it's shit. you're either being shot at or you're going to be getting shot at. and because you're in the military there's a lot of waiting and retardation and you have to follow orders. it's shit.

[Anonymous No.22125817]

>>22124006
>>22124450
Bumping for a rate again.

[Anonymous No.22125821]

>>22125773
You need a skeleton so you don't veer off too far from your business. But most people pants some shit while they're writing. I'm writing about my dark lord catching salmon, never planned it, but he will offer this fish to the princess of the river who happens to be his enemy and arch priestess.

[Anonymous No.22125830]

>search and replace elf
>every usage of self is now replaced with the new word
This is what I get for using that word as a placeholder while I thought of something else.

[Anonymous No.22125840]

>>22125830
Maybe there's a whole-words toggle?

[Anonymous No.22125858]

>>22125751
Depends, if I humanized them, it would be the story of a father goat fleeing with his children because they are being chased by predators who've already killed the mother goat.
They would need to use their climbing abilities to run away and eventually they would reach the top of the mountain, with nowhere to run, rain pouring down, the predators begin to slip, but the last one holds on, and the father needs to sacrifice himself to save the children.
Depending on how this is written, it could be hopeful, about moving onward even when you aren't sure what is at the top. And if it was written for children, I'd have the father's horns get caught on a rock poking out of the side of the mountain. He loses the horn, but gets slowed down enough to stop from falling to his death.

[Anonymous No.22125868]

>>22125840
Since you mentioned it, I realize if I had used case-match (because I capitalized Elf) it would've been fine. Since I am editing the chapter currently and I'll just correct them as I work.

[Anonymous No.22125876]

Do you think it's better to keep your chapters roughly the same length or should you mix up the length here and there?

[Anonymous No.22125878]

>>22125821
>most people pants some shit while they're writing
Better than shitting their pants, I guess.

[Anonymous No.22125884]

>>22125876
I try to keep them around 3k. I've had ones that weren't even 2.5, I've had ones over 4. A bit over 3 is a good length.

[Anonymous No.22125890]

>>22125876
Every chapter is as long as I need.
>>22125884
I agree. I started aiming for 2k words, but as I write and I feel that I can do more, I am shooting for around 3k each chapter. I think the longest I've written was over 4.5k, and the shortest was 1800 after editing.

[Anonymous No.22125900]

>>22125876
I don't really care, but given how short they are i feel my readers would welcome longer chapters

[Anonymous No.22125914]

>>22125876
I mix it up. After a grueling long chapter of 5k+ words, I have a break for the reader with a 1.7k chapter. Might be wrong to do it, but sometimes those intermission chapters are what people need. Like movies, just pointless scenes to give the characters and reader a break. I liked it to side quests in video games

[Anonymous No.22125951]

>>22123999
>I furled my brow.
Furrowed. Made creases.
Furled. Rolled up.

[Anonymous No.22125994]

>>22125884
>>22125890
>2k, 3K per chapter
Oh, I'd thought 7K the minimum and thought I was a total fuckup not doing enough for the story.

[Anonymous No.22126032]

>>22125994
Average in published novels is 3k-6k

[Anonymous No.22126072]

>>22125060
>As for the story itself; it isn't really my type of thing, but I still found it reasonably compelling. It reminded me of those setting introductions they write at the start of tabletop role playing games, but with impact and style.

It actually is part of what will eventually become a tabletop game. I'm not super involved in the gameplay mechanics, just the writing.

As for writing it with actual impact and not just generic fantasy /tg/ trash? Mao Zedong said: "There is in fact no such thing as art for art's sake, art that stands above classes, art that is detached from or independent of politics. Proletarian literature and art are part of the whole proletarian revolutionary cause; they are, as Lenin said, cogs and wheels in the whole revolutionary machine.

>>22124680
ironically I have CPTSD from a rough childhood

[Anonymous No.22126252]

>>22124633
>In attempting to encapsulate the horrors of these times, one would be better served observing a starving rat-pack, where in the struggle for survival, invariably, one grows grotesquely fat.

There's like three levels to this one metaphor, I think you're doing fine brah

[Anonymous No.22126425]

>>22126072
>ironically I have CPTSD from a rough childhood
me too anon

[Anonymous No.22126562]

>>22124794

bumping for feedback.

p-pls respond

[Anonymous No.22126569]

>>22126562
Sorry anon I am too lazy to read that, but I extend you my sympathy at any rate.

[Anonymous No.22126575]

>>22126569
much obliged for your response :-)

[Anonymous No.22126577]

Is it bad I enjoy writing out vivid descriptions of the visions I see in my head while writing prose?

[Anonymous No.22126579]

>>22126577
Why would it be bad?

[Anonymousn No.22126591]

>>22126577
Only if you forget that the reader won't see those visions but will only see the words.

[Anonymous No.22126598]

>>22126577
Unironic shaman.

[Anonymous No.22126653]

>>22123992
>Our favorite restaurant (implying they've both been there)
>You'll see (implying 2nd person never been there)

So no. Your writing is shit.

[Anonymous No.22126681]

>>22124006
It's basically okay conceptually but your sentence structure is unsophisticated. Too many short sentences, which is not only visually distracting and makes for poor reading, but make it seem as though your thought process is abbreviated or incomplete.

[Anonymous No.22126683]

>>22126653
Its a group of 4 people in a car. 3 who have been to the restaurant, talking to 1 guy who hasn't.

Of all the things to critique, I don't understand how that is confusing

Of all the things to critque

[Anonymous No.22126696]

>>22126683
You didn't set it up as 4 guys in a car. You set it up as a one on one dialogue. I'm the reader. If I can't picture that in the first sentence that's on you the writer. You didn't provide enough information for the reader.

[Anonymous No.22126702]

>>22126683
I didn't even know there was four guys in a car and since I didn't read past the first paragraph, I never would find out.

[Anonymous No.22126707]

>>22124794
You should use pastebin next time instead of posting so much to this thread.

Per your question about magazines or competitions, your short story is extremely short, so it's probably going to be dismissed out of hand.

Aside from that, the story is more like an anecdote you've told in a bar that you've dressed up with a lot of description. But what kind of story is it supposed to be? Is it supposed to be funny? Is there a punchline in there somewhere?

[Anonymous No.22126720]

>>22126707
I did but pastebin said it was innapropriate or some shit.

All the magazines I look at say they want stories between 1500-5000, so i'm in the range. Its more the quality of writing im worried about.

>>22126702
>>22126702

If you didnt read past the first paragraph dont complain about not having enough information or understanding? (granted I understand its the responsibility of the writer,to write compelling enough so that the reader doesn't give up after the first paragraph)

[Anonymous No.22126724]

Really happy with my progress this week. Chapter 10 of the Kill List is out. We're approaching the climax of the first part of the story. Any feedback is appreciated, as always.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/54622/the-kill-list

[Anonymous No.22126725]

So, in my story the main character has been split in two by magical bullshit, I'm not wrong to think that it just makes much more sense to avoid switching POVs mid chapter, right?

[Anonymous No.22126735]

>>22126696
it's the first sentence. You aren't supposed to understand everything.

[Anonymous No.22126810]

>>22126724
>AI slop

[Anonymous No.22126851]

>>22126735
You have to set it up still. Believe me i ran into the same problems.

[Anonymous No.22126853]

Even reddit might give better advice than this thread, lol. Why are you people trying to get guidance from the lowest tier beginners possible? There's like 3 or 4 people (who aren't even regulars) who visit this thread and could be considered remotely successful writers. The quality of advice I see here any time someone posts for critique is shockingly bad.

[Anonymous No.22126855]

>>22126720
>>22126735
Just admit you don't care for criticism. Okay then
Your writing is fucking superb. Go send it to as many literary magazines as you can because you need them (You)'s.

I'm not going to bother arguing. That's my critique and even if it's only the first paragraph it is mine. Take it or leave it

[Anonymous No.22126858]

>>22126810
what in here makes it look generated

[Anonymous No.22126906]

>>22126810
I don't even know what program I'd use to begin to generate readable AI stories, anon. I wrote that slop with my human hands.

[Anonymous No.22126919]

I have some writing ideas No idea where to ask since my friends are offline but a few ideas i'd like your thoughts on

Theres a race of moth people i'm making and they work just like silk moths do in real life. This meaning that they will boil the moth peoples babys alive in order to get the silk This silk is illegal but I was thinking about having my king character wear it because of how much money it costs to make and to even muggle it in

On the topic of the king. I wanted to make him have some sort of bipolar disorder (Note: I have bipolar disorder) do you think I should go down that rounte?

I was also thinking about making one of the main characters we meet to get introduced to the setting a drug muggler and they travel around the land trying to get the drugs to the dealer.

Thoughts? Changes I should make?

(Also yes if you have questions about the lore I can offer it. but I don't know why /lit/ would care about said lore)

[Anonymous No.22126949]

>>22126919
Sounds utterly deranged. I can't imagine enjoying a story about bug people who brutally murder babies, or a drug dealing adventure.

[Anonymous No.22126962]

>>22125773
Plan ahead but adjust the plan as you go. Novels are fluid like that.

[Anonymous No.22126964]

>>22126962
Planning ahead at all almost never works for me, is the thing. The best I can do is a vague idea of where the story is going to go and where it's going to end. Everything else just sort of comes to me within 1 chapter of writing it.

[Anonymous No.22127017]

>>22126725
The only way it'd work is if you're doing 3rd person narration. With 1st person you could still make an 'intermission' but it'd be way more confusing to have a shift mid chapter rather than in the next one where readers would expect the point of view to change to occur.

[Anonymous No.22127096]

>>22126735
Not those anons. It's not confusing. Ignore them.

It feels like a play by play, very linear. For this sort of story you need more atmosphere, general, and sharp details specific. Think more on what to describe and what to leave out. There's no feeling of suspense or build up. A drunk idiot gets predictably smashed by a bull. Who cares?

[Anonymous No.22127119]

>>22126681
Fair enough. I tend to write really long, rambling sentences if left unchecked so I think I might've overcorrected here. Did anything else stand out to you as amateurish?

[Anonymous No.22127137]

>>22127096
this is the feedback I was looking for. Thanks.

I think I rushed the ending. In two paragraphs he enters the ring and then gets hit. Maybe I could stretch out the action a bit more.

[Anonymous No.22127146]

>>22126964
First, study story structure. There are a variety of structures but they will congeal in your mind as you internalize them. They will become intuitive.

Second, consider what each major character wants. The ending could be as simple as them each getting what they want. What happens when they cannot all get what they want? At that point you know a set of possible endings to build towards. The genuine ending will be a product of your steering the ship and juggling your characters. Give each of them their victories and losses until it all comes to a head towards the conclusion.

Third, consider emotion and tone. How do you want your story to feel in the beginning? How do you want it to feel in the end? It doesn't matter how you get there, just ask yourself what feeling you want from point A to point B.

Fourth, is there a point that you want to get across? How do your characters reflect or explore it?

Roll it all together. You understand structure, you know your characters' starting goals and motivations and therefore how the story could end if everything worked out for them, you know how you want the story to feel in the beginning and the end, and you know the themes of your story. That is 80% of the fuel you need to write your story.

At the beginning of every scene, chapter, or sequence run a status check on structure, how close characters are to attaining their goals, what the tone was versus what it could turn into, and you know how well your themes have been communicated. Now stir the pot, mix things up, complicate matters. Do that and over time you will hit structural checkpoints, advance character goals or even transform them, the emotional effect of the story will shift, and your theme will either persist or new themes may emerge. All of it may flow from you in an intuitive way.

Give something like that a try.

[Anonymous No.22127163]

>>22123992
>The sky was glowing orange as day turned to dusk.
>The sun was beginning to set, and a cool chill descended into the desert.
redundant
>The restaurant had a humble exterior,
>with a façade like a simple hacienda and a red brick sidewalk led us to the entrance
redundant
>She said
cut

You have all these proper names. Paco and Taco and Macho and Pacho and all the rest. At the end you even name the hostess, Consuela, or whatever you called her. You can cut like half of them, easy, or probably all but Facundo. One is a law student. irrelevant. the mc is a canadian. irrelevant. and then there's no punchline at the end. figure out where the story is going and bring it there, because right now it goes nowhere.

[Anonymous No.22127166]

>>22126964
Study story structure. There are a variety of ways to do it. As you comprehend them they will congeal in your mind. You will get a sense of beginning, middle, and end. You will intuit the deeper layers of each step over time.

What does each major character want? Why? Does their story end when they get what they want? Could their goals change? Could something new motivate them?

What has happened to each character in your story so far? What would each of them do next? Keep notes of this as you go.

Find the conflict at every juncture. Figure out the tone and the emotion you want to evoke as well. Why these feelings? How do you want the story to feel by the end?

Does your story have a point? Is there a theme?

[Anonymous No.22127174]

>>22122949
Eh I like it anon.

[Anonymous No.22127176]

>>22127146
>>22127166
Whoops.

[Anonymous No.22127183]

>>22127146
>study story structure
No thanks. I write what comes to mind, the moment I try fitting it into a box like that it breaks.
>consider what each major character wants. The ending could be as simple as them each getting what they want. What happens when they cannot all get what they want?
Of course, I take this into account. But I don't think about it in detail until it's right around the corner. I can't imagine knowing how a story should end without seeing every part of the adventure first.
>How do you want your story to feel in the beginning? How do you want it to feel in the end?
I don't think about this. At all. The "feel" of my stories go wherever the characters happen to go. Sometimes there's a sudden negative event that absolutely shatters everyone's morale. Sometimes things are looking awful but the characters manage to find glimmers of hope and happiness. These things just happen, I don't predict them or direct them. Trying to simply doesn't work for me.
>is there a point that you want to get across?
Nope. There are deeper meanings that can be inferred from what I write, but I don't go in aiming for them.
>Give something like that a try.
I have. It falls apart in a matter of chapters. Ends up horribly stiff and boring. If I'm putting too much thought into how everything will go and what I want to do, the characters wind up fake, unnatural, lifeless. Only by letting my mind wander as it will, in the minds of the characters, can I make interesting stories.

[Anonymous No.22127242]

>>22127183
Post a story that you finished.

[Anonymous No.22127243]

>>22127242
No.

[Anonymous No.22127248]

>>22125502
yeah, it's alright.

[Anonymous No.22127255]

>>22127243
Why not?

[Anonymous No.22127258]

>>22127255
I don't share my stories publicly. Not yet anyways.

[Anonymous No.22127264]

>>22126724
Read from chapters one to ten. I'm actually frustrated by the inability to read further. You're good at keeping readers guessing. If you quit, I'll be supremely disappointed.

[Anonymous No.22127306]

>>22127183
You're not going to write anything worth reading ever. You cannot prove me wrong.

[Anonymous No.22127327]

I want to add the following, take it or leave it:

Save every penny of writing income that you make into a taxable account and buy a long term bond ETF. Current 30 day yields hover around 5%. Make your writing income make more income for you. Bonds are less volatile than stocks. Don't take risks with your writing income until your passive income eclipses your day job's income and fully funds your Roth IRA. If you reach Level 7 then you should transition to shorter term bond ETFs to reduce volatility.

[Anonymous No.22127332]

>>22126720
And I told you to use catbox.moe instead of pastebin, but you didn't listen.

[Anonymous No.22127343]

>>22127327
>I believe in the future
It's all falling apart, fren.

[Anonymous No.22127347]

I like telling character centered stories, but some autistic part of me refuses to write in first person. I've even thought of making massive chapter-long monologues that are just "retellings" of events from the perspective character just to technically keep the story third person but still have first person elements. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

[Anonymous No.22127349]

>>22127343
You can have a doomsday plan if you want but you should plan for in case doomsday *does not* happen. Black Swans are not just involve the unexpected happening but also the expected *not* happening.

[Anonymous No.22127351]

>>22127343
Also, we live in an age of paper and digits. If you're here in /wg/ then you must be an optimist.

[Anonymous No.22127352]

>>22127347
There is nothing about character-based storytelling that requires the first person perspective.

[Anonymous No.22127367]

/wg/, I just realized that I honestly have no idea if my MC counts as a chosen one or not. What do I do?

[Anonymous No.22127371]

>>22127367
Finish writing the story

[Anonymous No.22127373]

>>22127349
Doomsday isn't a question of if, but when.
https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/rickards-coming-shock-global-monetary-system
inb4 the "Joe Schmoe" deflection: James Rickards is who the CIA hired after 9/11 to set up their "financial intelligence" wing.

[Anonymous No.22127381]

>>22127306
I already have. It's worth it to me. I enjoy reading my own stories.

[Anonymous No.22127383]

Who wants to see my dialouge

[Anonymous No.22127410]

>>22127383
Post it

[Anonymous No.22127420]

>about to take ~2mo hiatus from writing to find a job and recharge my brain after accidentally doubling my workload in recent months and being unemployed for an extended time
>have a perfect stopping point that could almost serve as a mini-conclusion to the story anyway
>wouldn't be able to continue writing right now due to stress anyway, haven't slept properly in like 2 months
>still feel really bad about letting my readers down
It's all ogre for me bros. Probably not really, but it feels that way. Don't fall for the high-effort serial meme, scope your fucking shit correctly and write complete works if you care about quality.

[Anonymous No.22127423]

>>22127373
Why are you here? What's your plan if it does not happen in your lifetime?

[Anonymous No.22127424]

>>22126949
>Sounds utterly deranged


Really made me think about my worlds lore and the stories I write, thank you.

I know now the insanity they hold

[Anonymous No.22127429]

>>22127420
That's my plan. First I want to write a complete novel, then I want to serialize it, and then I want to publish it as a single volume. One thing at a time.

[Anonymous No.22127432]

>>22127383
Shoot.

[Anonymous No.22127433]

>>22122544
It's dark

[Anonymous No.22127444]

>>22127433
Bad grammar. You need a period. Conjunctions are not preferred in prose outside of dialogue.

Dismissed!

[Anonymous No.22127445]

>>22127444
I am currently reading a post that is taking a joking tone with me.

[Anonymous No.22127446]

>>22122544
I don't know what a prose is.

[Anonymous No.22127450]

{A sacred grove}
{Blance and Opac}
Blance: Should the artist know himself?
"He who has struggled to know himself has knocked in vain at the doors of Poetry" says Plato. Ecstasy, drunkenness, forgetting oneself, madness, there lies a certain rode to a certain kind of poesy.
There is a madness that is poesy and there is a poesy that is madness and there are some souls that are like catskill eagles flying through the tightest gorges in the loftiest mountains, and though they may seem to have disappeared to anyone who had once seen and been looking at the bird, the eagle, still soars high and true.
Opac: The artist must know himself.
Only when he is supremely organised. When he has little need for books, possessions, sight: for he knows his books well, and he knows his beloved nature intimately. When he has been stung so often by beauty his heart is hardened; but still tender. Then he can perceive further than can madness. And can see at once, in anyone, whether theirs is a good and clean madness; or a filthy, mean madness. He inhabits everything for he has perceived it all: The man made mad by circumstance. The proud beggar. The imbecile sleeping soundly in the mental infirmary. The widow who looks early-morn out from her window at the hoar-frost and the ice. All these and the like of these he inhabits and loves and they are as become one with him. If he loves the instigation, he loves the recompense doubly. He proclaimeth for an avenger, and his avenger cometh always, sacred-certain.
Blance: Your rhetoric is certain sacred-fine.
I say the greatest poets are the religion-makers. Most effective too. For their verses inspired calamity, as well as tears, and joy, and righteousness. Mohammed and Jesus before Homer if we are to speak of greatness in poetry. Did they know themselves? They were men of great genius and therefore vanity and delusion who believed themselves to be true representatives of that unknown creative entity.
Opac: The artist is born not made.
All art was made by the universe in the moment of its creation and is gifted to each artist at the moment of his birth. The artist always feels this. It is exemplified in his lunatic temperament full of wonder and woe. The little boy poet sings songs to himself, Yonder moppet of a girl will grow to make well-known pictures; now she's happy to draw precious pictures in her spilled milk with but a finger. Every Man and Woman has something of the great artist about them.
Blance: Some do not understand.
Some claim to understand and do not understand. What's worse: they do not feel. I feel those that do not understand poetry, that do not feel music, that scorn art and that use it as a tool, these must be rightly called evil.
Opac: Art is no tool.
As the daylight causes that shoot of wheat behind you to spire, so art may be used for men to heighten their daydreams and conversation. Men are born what they are.
{Cut off because of length]

[Anonymous No.22127458]

>>22127383
me, post it.

[Anonymous No.22127474]

>>22127458
>>22127432
>>22127410
there you have it

[Anonymous No.22127478]

>>22127474
the real dialogue was the friends we met along the way

[Anonymous No.22127516]

>>22127474
I want to be angry but that was not a bad gag.

[Anonymous No.22127569]

>>22127474
you son of a bitch

[Anonymous No.22127591]

My favorite work is the usually stuff everyone online hates. Last year i sent out 7 fiction submissions with 5 being short understated pieces, influenced by Beckett and Updike dealing with the mundane, and the lives of working class men while the others were genre fiction crap with literal tentacle monsters and rape.

Just guess which ones got excepted.

One editor told me that though he really liked my work it's just not the kind of thing the magazine was interested in publishing . His only advice was to use the genre crap to get traffic on a personal website to get eyeballs on the good shit =/

[https://whyishoudini.neocities.org/houdinifestclosed No.22127595]

>Finally updated my personal sight

Each revolution of the sun, these forsaken soils bear witness to the spectacle of the Houdini Festival. The festival draws a motley crew of vagabonds and artisans, their diverse ranks swelled by clowns with faces painted in tales of joy and sorrow, proprietors of freak shows, peddlers hawking forgotten tomes and long-lost films from a world now extinct. These wandering souls converge on the barren fields, breathing life into the desolate canvas with their vibrant tales and vibrant wares. Nomadic performers, troupes of circus artisans, evangelical oracles, and others, like phantoms drawn to the echo of joyous reverie, converge upon these hallowed fields. Their arrival signals a temporary disruption of the desolate tranquility, as their colorful canvas tents rise against the gloomy sky, standing in stark contrast against the barren wilderness.

>>22127591
this is why I opted to use public domain characters as archetypes to explore

[Anonymous No.22127600]

>>22127591
Sorry to hear it. I just sent out 6 poems to the new yorker. I'm afraid they were too formal and not let's say free-verse liberal NYC POC LGBTQ ironic kind of thing and so they won't get printed. You should focus on honing your more personal stuff, focus on making it more alive, more intricate, truer to your influences. I don't know how you can write work on two different genre's like that, I think I'd get burned out.

[Anonymous No.22127603]

>>22127600
I'm going to submit my garbage ass poetry just to see haha


The Task - A Poem

As the tendrils of Azathoth etched their way into his mind,

The silence, deafening in its loudness, reverberated throughout his psyche,

He stood, not aloof, but alone in the grim task that needed to be done.

To take a life, this was no small step—

A plunge into the depths of duskiest twilights,

Where the shadows whispered secrets and sins.

Bleed,

Bleed,

Bleed.

It was done.

He had taken a step into the eldritch shade—

A realm where anguish and torment reigned,

A place that must be hell itself.

Hades, the inferno of despair,

This must be its dwelling,

For this land of darkness had finally touched his soul—

like Dante scorched by the Inferno

[Anonymous No.22127609]

>>22127591
Most people want to escape from their daily existence. They want the escapism that genre fiction can give them.

Tell you what though. Where in the rules does it say that you cannot encode what you really want to say within your genre work? You have to hide medicine in food to get your dog or cat to take it.

Is having a message to go with a story not the essence of myth? The key is that you write within the genre well enough that it passes for what most people look for. You might be surprised. Every day there is a normie who reads something that turned some new gears and makes them open their eyes for once.

If all you can sell is genre fiction then why not make the best of the situation? I know this is probably not what you want but I hope it at least stokes the fire in you.

[Anonymous No.22127623]

>>22127248
Thanks. Means a lot to me.

[Anonymous No.22127639]

>>22127600
I did get a positive response from the The new yorker, not so positive that they published me , but there was some back and forth and i was encouraged to submit again.
It was a better experience then some other big name magazines where i was told the life of a gas station attendant during a wildfire 'lacked a modern theme' or something like that.
LIKE MATHERFUCKER its about petroleum and wildfires , surely those are in the news sometimes.

My experiences that you need to have a Most editors cant really tell whats good but they do know what they like, they like thing they agree with or something that stands out.
My one one normal success was a about an old folks home but it was written in an ultra modern style and full of curse words . Something ti jolt the editor awake.
It was sent alongside a smaller piece about inheriting a farm that i dont think even got a response.

[Anonymous No.22127763]

>>22126919
>it's illegal
>but the king wears it
Illegal where? Like, he has it smuggled in from a country that he doesn't rule? In his own country he can surely decide what is and isn't legal, and I don't know why people would cultivate them in a country where they aren't legal, so this is a little puzzling.
A problem with silk is that silk is for showing off. Like, if silk is illegal then surely silk clothing is illegal so how many people would be willing to wear it?
The story about monks smuggling silk worms from China to Byzantium is a good one, maybe you can riff on that?
>On the topic of the king. I wanted to make him have some sort of bipolar disorder (Note: I have bipolar disorder) do you think I should go down that rounte?
Sure, give it a shot!
>I was also thinking about making one of the main characters we meet to get introduced to the setting a drug muggler and they travel around the land trying to get the drugs to the dealer.
That's fine.
>(Also yes if you have questions about the lore I can offer it. but I don't know why /lit/ would care about said lore)
The lore in large part determines whether your plot and characters make sense, so it's pretty important.

[Anonymous No.22127779]

>>22127639
lol i wrote that first thing as i woke up and by god can you tell

[Anonymous No.22127783]

>>22127639
>but it was written in an ultra modern style and full of curse words
makes me wonder how my decedent era/gothic romantic style would be perceived.

[Anonymous No.22127794]

>>22127783
In my experience they dont much like it.
Unless otherwise subsidized most of these magazines are just about scraping by and are each looking for a viral hit, even on a small scale.

The reason yo get a lot of sci fi, LGBT, or Cthulhu crap is because besides a sense of obligation the editor is hoping to make it big on some twitter sub community and for the story to spread out from there.

Style is generally discouraged unless it ties into that community is some way, or like my obscenity laden old folks home thing actually goes some way towards making it more expressible.

[Anonymous No.22127808]

https://whyishoudini.neocities.org/writings

Please read and let me know if I have any chops at this. Only recently am I really attempting to get into writing as an art form.

[Anonymous No.22127809]

>>22127783
I submitted a poem to a local contest and lost. It used a number of very archaic words with multiple obscure meanings in order to facilitate wordplay. Best of all is it rhymed and had a decent rhythm reading it out loud.

The winning 3 poems were pretty bad. 2 weren't poems at all, just boring prose chopped up into vaguely artistic looking lines, and the 3rd had a few inline rhymes on top of playful sentence structure. It made zero sense to me how I could have lost until I found out the judge was a nationally renowned LGBT Jewish female poet pretending to be Hispanic (I confirmed it was a fake name using people search), whose personal website has inexplicable freemason symbolism.

There was never a chance at winning. It's apparent that from the late 19th century onwards real art has been increasingly suppressed or maligned. Nowhere is that more apparent than in modern art, but beat and slam poetry is impressively awful too. Critics, publishers, magazines, etc that are still around are the vestigial remains of rich elite children who are too useless to do anything else. They display urinals and wall-bananas, wax poetic about menstruation, compose songs about nothing (4'33"), all to crush the human spirit and secure cushy jobs for their nieces and nephews.

It's not like my poetry is amazing; it's objectively more qualified to be called poetry than my fellow poets in the local contest, though. And I didn't even receive criticism or feedback from the judge. If I had, she'd have betrayed her ulterior motives. I'll still make poetry, and anons should too of course. Don't hold any illusion that you will be recgonized or appreciated should you make something truly worth being called art. Make it for yourself and the Muses.

[Anonymous No.22127819]

>>22127809
I mostly agree with you but I still like Duchamp and a lot of modern art. A lot of it is exactly what you said though. For me the hyper descriptive writing style is almost a protest against the ever increasing commonality of slang, character limits and the desire for everything to be bite sized pieces of easily digestible media. By juxtaposing the format of poems, short stories, journal entries and newspaper clippings, these very digestible formats, with dense prose and deep allegory, and then using the Epistolary format to create a longer narrative in the vein of a "A King in Yellow", I hope to create something, well, I dunno something better than trying to ham hock YA bullshit to get the cash.

[Anonymous No.22127892]

>>22127763
Same anon, I did forget to note that the king I was perfering to is the king of a small island that the story thats place in not the main land Where its illegal to make the silk.

the island anyway is like hawaii and about to be taken over by the mainland at some point after the story.

Also another question because there is the drug native to the island where its smoked and it gives you focus. However I was curious what the effects should be by the refined drug that is a big problem on the island.

Also the moth people only drink nectar from flowers/Sugar water/ any kind of sweet drink. What flowers should I base it off of and how would it be farmed?

Questions about the lore are welcome.

[Anonymous No.22127897]

>>22127819
>>22127819
>but I still like Duchamp and a lot of modern art
My guilty pleasure is Francis Bacon and a lot of the surrealist stuff (also Gustave Moreau). I know it's a psyop, I know, but it still pleases me. Same applies to music especially. There's plenty of objectively bad music that I still hold dear because of nostalgic value. Only reason the masses haven't thrown music in the trash like they did modern art is because it's tied to their childhood. Poetry and prose are already dead. No one outside of the walled garden, the sniffling collegiates appreciate masterful writing, and even then you have to layer your work with -isms and ideologies and explain it to death.

You don't need to explain the Sistine Chapel or Van Gogh or Michaelangelo; you can, but you don't have to. Same can't be said of most writing now. The appeal of low art, of some outsider art (hence litrpg or erotica) is a return to a world of simplicity and shows signs of healing. They don't bog you down with needless prefaces and editor's notes and translator interpretations and endless academic apocrypha ghost-written by comittees of government agents in smoky lounges pushing the newest trend. If someone were to make a grand gesture and even attempt at writing a world-shattering novel or epic poem or poetry chapbook, something magnificent and beautiful on its own merits, they could actually change the course of history. There are plenty of amateur, even professional, writers who want it but haven't the balls to try. They're afraid of coming across grandiose and egomaniacal.

We could all do with a dose of the grandiose, though. The powers that be want everyone to be small and tiny and insignificant bitemes so we don't out shine their soulless drivel. It would cost them their jobs and require the useless frauds to search their soul for a fragment of the ineffable that they're desperately afraid to grasp. Just a thought. Maybe I'm hyped up on my own brand. I hold no pretense of being an Overman; rather I'd be anything but a Last Man.
>in the vein of a "A King in Yellow"
I've never heard of this until now. Thanks anon, I've got some reading to do! You've inspired me to continue my poetry even more.

[Anonymous No.22127939]

>>22127897
Not him. But I do want to comment that I agree there is plenty of material to make magnum opuses about.
While I don't have the ability, and I doubt I'll ever obtain it, I have been playing around with this one thing. A lesser and unworthy man lives forever in fear of the coming reckoning being more than aware of his position, slowly he grows desperate, begging providence to deliver his punishment and end his quiet desperation once and for all.
But it turns out that those men far greater than him, that Odysseus, that King Malcolm; they have long perished or maybe never were.
Maybe I'd theme it after ancient Greece, a tyrant (or the son of a tyrant) forever awaiting his death to a man that drowned while returning from Troy.
It's just a stupid idea I've been playing around with.

[Anonymous No.22127965]

>>22122544
There is too much in front of me to describe. It's all so overwhelming, clanking around with the other thoughts in my head and I find it hard to focus on one thing, but I can try. A cheap cane lies against the coffee table in the corner of the room, unused like the shoe horn, the meditation book, and the pen that lay there. Converse, old Nike's, Adidas, Doc Martins all slump as their inhabitants have taken their last step of the day; every one is resting. Their is a fine ring of dust where a pair of girls shoes were, and perhaps it could provide a clue to anon, who wants to dig into my eyes and rip apart my memories to use in his sanguine ritual. I'll tell you anon, that it started with a poem like you've never written and ended with her on this cushy 70's styles couch and my fingers creeping under the strap to her top because, just like you, I wanted to dig into her and find the piece that was missing in me.

[Anonymous No.22128017]

>>22127939
>slowly he grows desperate, begging providence to deliver his punishment and end his quiet desperation once and for all
>those men far greater than him, that Odysseus, that King Malcolm; they have long perished or maybe never were
Brutal. The idea is there, anon; take it!
>It's just a stupid idea I've been playing around with
I think it's brilliant and compelling.

My idea for a neat classical story is of a lost son of Saturn who challenges the Gods for his rightful place in Olympus and actually wins; in doing so he finds the burden of an empty throne too much to bear and uses his father's power over time to undo his own creation.
>>22122544
Lo! lamp lit 'pon cavern's wall
-- stucco writ large, shadows tall
Hark! anon's sirenic call
For wordsmith's finery

Fan sways fro with eon's dust
-- Antient door to mem'ry's must
Iron creaks, o'ercome by rust
That never ceases work

Pushing air betwixt mine blinds
-- Venetian glories, yard sale finds
Keeps moonshine men from the mind
Lest castle's sanctum's raped

Cat of legend, hear her purr
-- Steadfast sister's motley curr
Fleet of feather, fine of fur
She snoozes dusk sublime

And all the while man doth posts
'Lectric symbols fit for ghosts
Boon comrades he greets and toasts
-- Men incorporeal

[Anonymous No.22128475]

>>22123454
My religions are usually based on something that actually happened in the world but because of lost information they raised to being worshipped.

Eg. In my current story the main religion is a result of a dim people trying to make sense of a far more advanced civilisation that preceded them, especially the leaders of said civilisations. This leads to shenanigans as the 'gods' actually come back, one of them hiding among the main cast.

[Anonymous No.22128653]

PEEP SHOW GALORE
The peep show awakens like the sun way beyond, the eyes and the irises of deep blue beyond, the fishes and berries swim so above, like the strummings and insects that dance so below, the arms of the cosmos and cherries within, they light up the mirrors and kelp ridden seas, its reverberations all singing along for the mountains and molehills all up way below, the onions and stirrups they belch and they yearn, but all for the peep show that stands so below, the haunting big day of the peep show below, its time for the trumpets and brass all above, the arms and fingers curl in and out, the peep show lingers and lingers without, over and over blue berried mounts, and into Caligula nights way beyond, hue colored ponies and moth ridden fleas, they all sing a song for the peep show tonight, way beyond beaches and shellfish and horses, the peep show begins its triad in dawn, jaunty and jiving the beasts all along, the peep show heightens and heightens above and below, roosters and handlers and skies so above they placate and poster for the peep show this day, amoebas and trampolines all up and away, the jive monkey’d joes of a long ‘gotten day, the cobwebs and cows all beget and forgot the peepshow tonight so up and away, the carpets and crystals they dance so along to a dance that is sung way way beyond, the frogs and the lilies, the pads and the peas, the cows and the crumbs so up and below, the bees and the pillocks, the haunts and the spooks, even forget not, the jumps and the junks, the yellow canaried gavel beyond, the hopscotch paddock and pagoda so strong, the flunky aristocrat and quidditch veneer, patina and all and pea-bellied hoe, the toaster and handkerchief and all that is good, forget not the peep show on eve’s July springs beginnings, the peep show begins all up and away, beyond crystal caves of glass shaped pears and over the seas that dazzle so near, way up past the houses all up in them hills and over the trees that mark the loose ends, all the way over up up up up and beyond the glass and the stone, so far above the rust and the nails sings a dandelion girl so pretty and strange, in all of the hues of cosmos and shirts, her hair way beyond and above all the singsong and wofty waverness of surfers delight all bounce and creep through the rafters of the peep show tonight, way up and below the creep and the dirt, beyond the horse hooves and antennae above, the peep show continues its ever display and comes to an end at the end of the day, in the cosmos and dark of the ever above the spirals and tendons of the way way too big all frazzle and dazzle in mint colored eyes, the veneers on the peepers of fish so below all stand in awe of the ever above, through the gills and the feathers they simmer beyond, beyond the peep show galore,

[Anonymous No.22128656]

the scalps and the scoundrels so up and away can’t help but be swayed by the up and above, the huffings and puffings of starfish below , the dots and lines of architect and all, the hills and the mountains all shimmer below, the ever above in the deep of the blue, filled to the brink with berries and gunk, begins anew at the break of the dunk, all flaky and flunky the peep show falls, way down the white hole of the rabbits and bunks, jovial and bovine the spokes of the ferris all go all along the ride of the moth, the boxcars and manitees of the peep show galore dance in a circle of 8 figured rounds, its bumpers and humpers do go beyond, beyond crash in the midst of the day, houses and mirrors all up and below, the funions and bunyons of yore all gather around the specks of the rounds, the peep show galore welcomes all in the deep and the shallow of all the big days that come and that go all throughout the months of the peep show galore, the treetops and machines that cling and that clang, reverberatetate all beyond the sun, they go round and round in the peep show tonight and muster and luster for more than is right, the peep show that opens its doors, welcomes you all, it reverberates all through the big nights, all up and below the peep show does sing, softly lullaby of up and below, the peep show galore strums and it hums, the reverberations of up and away, the mere syncopations that freeze and they fry, all through the big hearts of all the small fish, through scales and the bells that move so beyond, the peep show galore all makes a big sound, that moves way beyond the beyond and beyond, all up in the dark that sways so beyond, ducking and jiving all way past the dots that swing and they sway in the deep of the dark, the colors of apples and crustaceans below, the arms and worms of the deep blue above, the peep show hankers for all that is good and beckons a good nights sleep for all that is bad, the peep show galore all harvests and dances and brings too much joy for any one fish, the peep show galore so above and below.

[Anonymous No.22128667]

>>22128656
I cannot even remember the last time I wasn't feeling burned out. I wish I could take my brain out of my skull and stick it in the washing machine.

[Anonymous No.22128673]

>>22128667
I didn't mean to quote that

[Anonymous No.22128674]

>that one saint commenter who leaves a comment within an hour of my posting a new chapter
this person makes me so happy, may God bless them with bounty

[Anonymous No.22128676]

>>22127264
Those are very kind words. Thank you so much!

[Anonymous No.22128773]

Why is dialogue so much easier and so much more fun to write compared to everything else? Why the fuck can't it all by like that?

[Anonymous No.22128783]

>>22128773
Because you like storytelling and drama, not books.
>t. guy who likes storytelling and drama, not books

[Anonymous No.22128801]

>>22128773
Dialogue is all about characterization, it's how people really connect with certain characters based on their beliefs and way of speaking. Everything else is point A to point B stuff

[Anonymous No.22128810]

>>22128773
I'm the opposite, I can't stand writing dialog—I end up writing monologues are just prose in highly characterized speech because I dislike it so much. I'd almost always prefer a character to do something dynamic and characterizing than say something characterizing.

[Anonymous No.22128876]

>>22128773
Because imagining what your characters will say is easier than imagining what they would do. Or imagining the world around them.

[Anonymous No.22129024]

Has there been an example of a magic system that alters reality but in the terms of literally editing the narrative in order to support the character, or would those two things essentially be the same?
I've been trying to create a narrative-based magic system for a while now and it's become incredibly complex to manage, I assume both because I'm overthinking it and it'd be too powerful to scale down for individual use.

[Anonymous No.22129072]

writing fanfiction is literally addictive. i said I was going to one and done to break some writers block. Now I have half a series written (200k total wordcount estimate.)

[Anonymous No.22129168]

>>22129024
give an example of what you mean
because from what I'm getting, let's say its cold out and you character wants a fire. rather than producing a bit of flame and starting a fire, they could instead change reality so that the place they're at has a firepit already with a fire in it or they could literally change the weather. if that's the case it would be grossly overpowered as it would literally alter the fabric of reality and potentially be capable of mind control/alteration

[Anonymous No.22129174]

>>22129072
Twilight and 50 Shades were fanfiction.

[Anonymous No.22129184]

>>22129174
Are they well-known for having been lots of fun to write?

[Anonymous No.22129211]

>>22129168
Well in essence I was thinking that it would be able to do minor things like repair damage items/tissues, create constructs, or do things as simple as create fire like you said, etc.
But beyond those simple things I would like to have it only be restrained by the users imagination (within limits), so say that a character is able to "study" the way reality is currently "written" they may be able to give themselves extra limbs or even make one character take on the powers or appearance of another for a brief time.
The checks and balances I have for it so far is that if someone goes too crazy with it and tries to make themselves into a god the universe "auto-corrects" by simply removing them from existence because having such power disrupts the "narrative" that holds the universe together.
In the lore so far the race that is able to use this magic learned of the consequences of abusing it so eventually they collectively became very scientific and constrained, and eventually the avoidance of risk made the knowledge of the magic's true power became forgotten.
I've just been super fascinated by Pataphysics and the interpretation of reality as a story, so it inspired me to make this kind of magic system for my own story.

[Anonymous No.22129212]

>>22127897
>You don't need to explain the Sistine Chapel or Van Gogh or Michaelangelo; you can, but you don't have to. Same can't be said of most writing now. The appeal of low art, of some outsider art (hence litrpg or erotica) is a return to a world of simplicity and shows signs of healing. They don't bog you down with needless prefaces and editor's notes and translator interpretations and endless academic apocrypha ghost-written by comittees of government agents in smoky lounges pushing the newest trend. If someone were to make a grand gesture and even attempt at writing a world-shattering novel or epic poem or poetry chapbook, something magnificent and beautiful on its own merits, they could actually change the course of history. There are plenty of amateur, even professional, writers who want it but haven't the balls to try. They're afraid of coming across grandiose and egomaniacal.

This is why I opted to use public domain characters, they serve as archetypes. I don't need to explain that the Cowardly Lion has a troubled past due to his lack of Courage. I don't need to explain that Lady Dedlock (Dickens) is an evil wealthy socialite. That part has been done for me, so then it becomes using these archetypes and exploring them deeper within the setting crafted. Of course there's the issue of tropes and especially so given the context I'm writing in (grimdark worldbuilding Epistolary format), but I like tropes, especially when used in new unique ways or turned upside-down. Tropes aren't inherently bad, although I really dislike the word "steampunk.

[Anonymous No.22129219]

>>22128773
Opposite for me, Dialogue is so fucking brutally hard I always feel like it reads cringe. I literally reworked on of my longer stories into a narrative poem bc of that.

[Anonymous No.22129221]

>>22129174
i don't write the horny

[Anonymous No.22129228]

>>22129024
Looney Tunes

[Anonymous No.22129243]

Ayo it's true publishers want someone with an established audience right? I started the site where I post (most) of my writings about a month ago, already at 10k views. Is this good?

[Anonymous No.22129268]

>>22129243
post the website

[Anonymous No.22129271]

>>22122196
I need to think of a cathartic way for the hero to finish off the villain.
Help me.
Just for context, the villain is a horrifying "God" who uses the heroes little sibling as a vessel to manifest through, NGE-style.
Our protagonist proceeds to beat five kinds of purple out of it's physical form to the point where it's forced to separate from the child to survive. But the hero proceeds to grab it while it's escaping.
I'm blanking here, how should I have the hero finish this little shit off?

[Anonymous No.22129273]

>>22129268
it's
>>22124633

[Anonymous No.22129274]

>>22129243
They want a unicorn author. Someone with a huge established audience and fanbase, who has never self-published and hasn't yet been snatched by another agent. It's just like our labor market situation. Employers want a 100% trained up employee already familiar with their special snowflake systems/industry who has already done the job before, but who will accept entry level pay, and are not willing to train anyone or take a job title II and hire them to be a job title III.

Humans are shit.

[Anonymous No.22129284]

>>22129271
Let him use the child for his own cause.

[Anonymous No.22129287]

>>22129274
At that point why not just self publish lol

[Anonymous No.22129291]

>>22129284
I don't get what you mean

[Anonymous No.22129293]

>>22129273
how you get so many views? you use SEO or post it a lot of places? or are the views just crawler bots?

[Anonymous No.22129295]

>>22129291
Let the hero use the same means (possession of the sibling/child to manifest) to finish off the villain. Beat him with his own weapon.

[Anonymous No.22129314]

>write without thinking too much
>prose has slowly become more McCarthylike the more i write

wtf is going on with my voice? why is it shifting towards McCarthy when i’ve been reading Melville, Hawthorne, and Conrad? i’ve only read blood meridian maybe twice, compared to the three and many other times i’ve read the other’s work.

[Anonymous No.22129316]

>>22129314
Why tf would you re-read a book? Did you not read it properly the first time?

[Anonymous No.22129323]

How often do you guys rewrite your story?

[Anonymous No.22129332]

>>22129295
Firstly, the hero has no means of doing so. Secondly, why would he do that to his baby sibling. Thirdly, what does that even mean? Like the hero possessing the child?

[Anonymous No.22129336]

>>22129293
Let me spit some free game.

I use Neocities to host my site. Neocities gets a LOT of organic traffic. It's incredibly easy to browse sites on there and if you update often, you can stay near the top of the recently updated. I have a personal site that is in the "special sauce" category on like page 5 (https://whyishoudini.neocities.org/)) with a link to the site as well.

I am running no advertising, social media game is basically non-existent. However I know basic javascript and created a few micro apps that serve as free advertising. All of these pages combined have gotten more views than my actual writing website, it would cost me 100s of dollars to the Zuck to get the same views on IG or cuckbook.

Examples:
https://ytplaylistscraper.com/
https://houdiniwords.com/
https://cyberpsychic.neocities.org/
Not Finished:
https://theraven.neocities.org/

For SEO, every page has a unique title. We are battling it out with some lady's garbage ass YA novels with the same name, but if you google "The Gaslight Chronicles" we are now the first two results.

[Anonymous No.22129339]

>>22129336
Also, by using public domain works, you increase your SEO from image searches, also I just enjoy art.

[Anonymous No.22129346]

>>22129336
Also, if you can shill on reddit, you'll do gangbusters but I am perma IP range banned for chronic shit posting on reddit (terrible site, full of glowies)

[Anonymous No.22129394]

>>22129184
>>22129221
I don't know how much fun they were to write for their authors but they just altered their work in all the right ways to become successful published authors. The point is that fanfiction is not a dead end.

[Anonymous No.22129407]

>>22129211
that sounds similar to Mage: The Ascension. the auto correct mechanism in that is paradox. see the attached, hopefully it'll help you brainstorm
https://files.catbox.moe/16x82s.pdf

[Anonymous No.22129421]

>>22127809
>It made zero sense to me how I could have lost
or consider that
>It used a number of very archaic words with multiple obscure meanings in order to facilitate wordplay
does not speak to modern audiences and reading your very clever poem is an unenjoyable slog

[Anonymous No.22129424]

>>22129394
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PublicDomain

Literally just write fan fiction for any of these properties instead of marvel potter wars trash, boom now it's a publishable work.

[Anonymous No.22129450]

>>22129336
aaalright thanks for the info

[Anonymous No.22129464]

>>22129421
I'm not writing to modern audiences, I'm writing to the judge, a professional poet, the top of her field (allegedly) with multiple awards, who would have an eye for artistic merit. As for
>an unenjoyable slog
If you feel no joy looking up and learning a new word, in puns and double entendre, then you have been intellectually and emotionally neutered. I have nothing to say to literary eunuchs.

If the only thing that mattered was "speaking to a modern audience", then slam poetry would be the greatest gift of all. Would you say this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDa5G0czkTY
is the highest form of poetry man has to offer? Is that up your alley? Does that hit the spot, swine?

[Anonymous No.22129481]

>>22122878
I love it!
I refuse to get a substack but i will check you out occasionally.

Hey loosers! For all the shit posted here this is something truly worthwhile .

[Anonymous No.22129494]

>>22129424
> Public Domain
> Fan Fiction
I will add to the canon.

[Anonymous No.22129580]

>>22129464
You'll never be successful because you're incredibly pompous and probably a nightmare to work with. I recommend the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People

[Anonymous No.22129609]

>>22122196
Are you actually able to write about villain protagonist?

All of the sites in the pastebin seem to have rules that you can't publish works about rape or racism

[Anonymous No.22129628]

>>22127119

There is some repetitiveness or redundancy which impedes the clarity of your prose. You could cut down and be more efficient.

Another related thing is the way you use second person POV (addressing "you"), which is fine and works fine here, but you could be more subtle about it. If you are addressing the "you" or reader too much, it can feel aggressive.

[Anonymous No.22129650]

>>22129609
Archive Of Our Own allows it all. It's the first site in the list.
There are a few things that you're required to put a disclaimer for. And it has to be fiction (not fan fiction necessarily). Other than that anything goes.

[Anonymous No.22129680]

>>22129609
Yeah, you'll have to build an audience and then make your own website if you really want to be an author who writes offensive material.
>>22129650
Ao3 is a great choice. It seems to be the only place you can really post anything. Even writing forums like QQ have moralfags showing up nowadays.

[Anonymous No.22129750]

>>22129680
It’s sad. I was looking for a place to post my Finno-Korean hyperwar fanfiction. Seems like I’ll have to do with AO3.

[Anonymous No.22129945]

>>22122196

Image source is snale's Twitter if anyone was wondering. The character is an OC as far as I know.

[Anonymous No.22129962]

Lowkey thinking about that time after the main character killed his best friend in self defense the best friends mom comes back and he and his best friends mom have sex and have a baby togeter

[Anonymous No.22130016]

How to describe a city without doing a info dump?
I have this great, huge city I've been trying to write about for days now, but all I can do is describe the buildings...
I want to make it clear there are incredible constructions here, like huge plazas, everlasting streets, many monuments, etc. And that it's much more advanced (architecturally) compare to other cities.
It's right at the beginning of the book, so I can't aford it to be boring.

[Anonymous No.22130047]

>>22130016
Try to descibe the city at varityest points in the story, Don't try to explain all at once.

A good opening is too just desc the major stuff that one would take notice first out of anything.

Just try to go it though out and not all at once.

But focus on buildings as they go into them or near them or the best opinion commnet on them.

Just try to keep things light and only give the reader what they need and let their minds doing the rest of the busy work (This is a very important lesson in writing)

[Anonymousn No.22130049]

>>22130016
Just describe your character going about their business in the city. Have them go on a little journey.

Raymond Chandler detective novels give you a vivid sense of Los Angeles, but there's never a sentence that feels like an info-dump. It's just a guy driving to a wealthy mansion for plot reasons, sneaking into a boat-casino for plot reasons, getting knocked unconscious and dumped in a half-developed wasteland on the edge of the city for plot reasons.

[Anonymous No.22130059]

>>22130016
describe it in stages. my first description of the main city in mine is:
>Cold wind whips against my face as billowing snowflakes blow in a blinding display. The grey sky above is split into two shades of grey, with charcoal grey stormclouds giving chase to our ship. An ice grey horizon stretches out before us, featuring an ice covered, grey metropolis rising from an icier grey landscape. Bloated clouds of smoke, grey, crouch above snow embanked boroughs, snow encrusted architecture and snow topped towers. The sea, grey and white with chop, bucks and rolls as the ship enters the bay.
but as the story goes I'll spend a lot more time building and showcasing pieces of it as the characters get to know the city more.

[Anonymous No.22130104]

>>22129211
Not quite the same in my story, but the part about magic being treated as a science which makes it weaker does exist in mine.
People are taught magic as a science in because there is some part of it that is based on science, to replicate certain effects they are required to have some idea of how it works.
Like making fire is easier by thinking about how friction creates heat, and pure oxygen is good for fire. But someone who has no idea about these things can still make a fireball, and they just tell people 'yeah but they know about fire, so don't think about it.' and for teleportation magic people can spend years learning about how space bends and then doing that, but, if someone has a strong enough will and their mind isn't clouded with the idea that they can't just do it, they can basically tell reality 'I want to be right there.' and a portal opens. The way that characters explain magic is that it exists on different levels. You can ask reality to do something, you can demand that it does something, or you can lie to it, and then at the highest levels, you lie to it, and reality believes you are telling the truth.

[Anonymous No.22130182]

>>22130016
You're not gonna want to hear this, but, you don't. Describing shit that's irrelevant to the story is bad writing. No reader cares about your grand vision of the city, and they're going to be bored to death if you try to describe it all. Just bring up the relevant parts when they matter, or rarely interspersed, and otherwise leave it alone.

[Anonymous No.22130184]

>>22129024
lord of the rings
A practical guide to evil
>>22129211
All your examples are very physical. Magic that manipulates the story would be more like in Pratchett where a million to one odds become a sure thing, because that's how stories work.

[Anonymous No.22130200]

>>22130059
I just edited this. Better/worse?
>Cold wind whips against my face as billowing snowflakes blow in a blinding display. The sky above has split into two shades of grey, with charcoal grey stormclouds chasing us toward an ice grey metropolis rising from an icier grey landscape. Bloated clouds of smoke, grey, crouch above snow embanked boroughs, snow encrusted enclaves and snow topped towers. The sea, white with chop, and grey, bucks and rolls as the ship enters the bay.

[Anonymous No.22130238]

>>22129407
This is pretty spot on to what I was thinking of, especially the aspect of it requiring a level of ingenuity to use to it's full potential. Thanks!
>>22130104
>you lie to it, and reality believes you are telling the truth
That's an interesting interpretation for sure, it's similar in the sense that in higher levels for my race they can rewrite what has already been "written". Either permanently or temporarily depending on how much is changed, the universal auto-correct doesn't have to outright annihilate the caster if the demand isn't that costly.
Pataphysics is just super interesting because it describes reality as an infinitely long tube where our multiverse is apart of it. Below us are the realities we perceive in books and TV shows and above us are the beings perceiving us in the same way. I had the idea for their "god" just being an ancient dude who figured out that secret and ended up in the space between levels as he was unable to fully break through. He's aware of the authors above but also of the infinite universes in the realities below, so essentially he sits on the 4th wall seeing both sides.

[Anonymous No.22130246]

>>22130182
That’s not bad advice. “World building” in that regard is often just verbal diarrhoea because the author thinks in movies rather than in novels. Scenery is perfectly fine but you only need a bit to convey the moods and images relevant to the scene and story. We don’t need the sewer plan nor a break down of the districts. World building is for genre slop, rise above, anons

[Anonymous No.22130247]

>>22122544
Dust, trash, filth, on a black desk and wood-patterned vinyl floor. A pitiful man was hunched over his desktop computer, as blue light from the Yotsuba B seared into his eyes. Even the yellow light from an old lamp did not ease the contrast from the screen and its surroundings. None of that was healthy, or even good in any conceivable way.
Perhaps it is time for a change, the man told himself. That isn't the first time he had that thought. Nor was it the thousandth. The man prayed it was the last time he had that thought. It wasn't.

[Anonymous No.22130253]

>>22130247
fuck I just realized I messed up my past and present cases. Time to never try writing anything ever again.

[Anonymous No.22130262]

>>22130246
Absolutely. There's something to be said for building a mood by describing scenery, of course. But that can absolutely be done in excess, like when Tolkien spends 3 pages describing a tree. And if it's not to build a mood but instead to simply inform the reader for no good reason, well that's just plain silly.

[Anonymous No.22130283]

Baked Bread
>>22130074
>>22130074
>>22130074
>>22130074

[Anonymous No.22130317]

>>22130047
>>22130049
>>22130059
>>22130200
>>22130182
Thanks. I guess I'll consider if I really need to describe it, and do so through the mc's vision if needed,

[Anonymous No.22130748]

>>22122544
thank you for all of you who did this exercise. I greatly enjoyed it. maybe we can do a different one in the future, maybe

[Anonymous No.22131089]

>Finally making good headway on my first book
>Have a great idea for a second story that I want to do
>It's now all I think about
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[Anonymous No.22131091]

>>22131089
You've made a terrible mistake. Shelf the new idea immediately and don't think about it at all until the first one is done. Otherwise the first one is doomed.

[Anonymous No.22131110]

>>22131091
You think so? People don't do two books at once? I just assumed that was what a lot of people did

[Anonymous No.22131118]

>>22131110
If you try, one of them is inevitably going to get less love. You've only got one brain to think about ideas for one book at a time. It's also setting a dangerous precedent, because then you might get a third idea midway through your second book, so you either start juggling more books or you just start abandoning unfinished ones.

[Anonymous No.22131131]

>>22131118
Okay I'm convinced. Now how do I get this one idea gone.

[Anonymous No.22131140]

>>22131131
Put it down in a notepad or a txt file or something. Then abandon thinking about it entirely. Focus all of your thinking on the first book and where that's going. If you let the idea of the second book start festering and overtaking your ideas about the first book, you're doomed. Gotta quarantine it before those thoughts can spread.