Guide to social gatherings

[Anonymous No.22107360]

> strike up a conversation with a female
> a few replies,
> feel like I should say something
> schizo blankness in brain
`
What books offer an insight into human nature in a practical way? As a hopelessly redpilled man, sometimes I have issues coming up with topics and actions befitting common formal social situations such as receptions, gala dinners, and so on, especially if the drink is scarce and the people are unknown. Is there something like a british gentleman's guide that outlines generic principles to fall back upon in moments of discomfort and unknowingness?

[Anonymous No.22107371]

>As a hopelessly redpilled man, sometimes I have issues coming up with topics and actions befitting common formal social situations
You sound absolutely insufferable

[Anonymous No.22107372]

>>22107360
conversation threading. you need to listen to what they have said and ask about topics they brought up.
this covers it:
>How To Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJb6AfGKrhI

[Anonymous No.22107380]

>>22107360
Just ask her about herself, listen to her reply for clues about a follow up question. Repeat and occasionally give her a chance to ask you questions. Never hurts to open with a compliment. Most people do not like it when someone tries to impress them but they do like it when people show an interest in them. It really is this simple.

[Anonymous No.22107383]

>>22107360
get drunk before you go, carry a flask, ez

[Anonymous No.22107392]

>>22107380
That usually works, but the problem is when she isn't the talkative type. In essence, I wanted to find a default to get them to open up. Maybe I'm overthinking and cucking myself by not simply saying random thoughts.

[Anonymous No.22107415]

>>22107392
If they are not the talkative type it generally means they are not interested. If you think they may just be the sort that is not very talkative and possibly interested you can often do things like suggest a change of venue, if you are sitting at the bar you can ask if she would like to move to a table where discussion is easier or the like. Or you can just ask
>I can't tell if you are humoring me or not interested or what and I would rather not just assume disinterest and miss the chance.

[Anonymous No.22107518]

Why not pick a less intense social situation to start with?
Go visit some garage sales on a weekend morning.
Talk to the people there, using the junk for sale as a conversation starter.
When the conversation peters out, no big deal, just continue browsing.
It's a simple exercise for someone that sounds like a painfully shy shut-in.
And you might find a bargain, too!

[Anonymous No.22107547]

>>22107380
>Most people do not like it when someone tries to impress them
Not true with women, so long as you can play it cool. If you don't impress her, she's not going to be sexually attracted to you. It's just how attraction works. That said, if you're particularly good looking then that will do all the work for you and you won't have to even try.

[Anonymous No.22107553]

>>22107360

I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all approach that will serve your needs.

Find a few stories you can tell and questions you can ask. One thing that works for me is to ask "What is your favorite (anything)?" The topic doesn't matter- the point is that you'll follow it up with "Why?" Once you get them talking, new avenues of conversation open up.

[Anonymous No.22107556]

>>22107372
Don’t listen to this fucktard or anyone who recommends you this trash. The hag who wrote the book constantly uses cringe terminology like “big cats”, losers and “winners”. She comes off as fake as fuck and advises you to do the same. Here are 10 things I got from the book (3 of which I guess I use in my daily life) :

**Pivot your body 100 percent to the person to make them feel special.**

**Ask others about the person you want to approach, then use it to start the conversation.**

**When asked what do you do, give a fleshed out answer.**

**Before going out read up on latest news, so that you always have something to talk about.**

**Don’t outright ask people what do they do (for a living), instead ask them how they spend most of their time.**

**Always say thank you + the thing they did for you.**

**Find out the industries hot issues before talking to the people, then to heat up the conversation start talking about them. + insider greetings**

**Find a special moment from the past that you share with a person, then remind them of it.**

**On the phone use the person’s name more often.**

**Have open body language and stand near places where people have to pass you by.**

**Two people always have a scoreboard between them, the one who has the low score has to pay deference to the other.**

[Anonymous No.22107573]

>>22107371
holy lol at picrel. thanks faggot.

[Anonymous No.22107580]

>>22107556
Thanks anon, I was looking for something of that kind. Particularities of the human nature that subconsciously influence interactions. Why not learn seemingly simple things to become better.

[Anonymous No.22107594]

conversations are mostly about having things in common with another person

what social gathering was it?

there are no practical books about it because the whole field is overtaken and spammed with people writing same shitty books contain vague trash (Like this guy who didn't bother writing what would he actually ask or what the follow up would be >>22107380) or basic truths that are irrelevant to the situation (e.g. have a job, drink water)

No one has ever attempted to write anything practical about conversations and they never will since they wouldn't be published compared to garbage writers mentioned above who all just want to copy paste one another.


IMO you have to already have a reason to talk to someone before you talk to them. you need a conversation starter before the interaction happens, like at this gathering you'd need to have known something about the girl before you spoke to her, e.g. you knew she just came back from Italy so you ask her about her trip or you know she is an actress so you ask her what movie she works in. Conversations are just exchanges of information and if you have no information about the person before starting the interaction, the conversation cannot possibly take place.

[Anonymous No.22107606]

>>22107360
>topics and actions befitting common formal social situations such as receptions, gala dinners, and so on, especially if the drink is scarce and the people are unknown
What the FUCK is it about this board that drives people to write like this.
I know the feeling. I've felt the temptation. This board has an intoxicating effect that lulls you into typing like you've got an Edwardian schoolmaster's yardstick stuck up your arse.

[Anonymous No.22107617]

>>22107594
I was thinking more among the lines of how to politely excuse yourself, how to enter a conversation, how to start and end a conversation, what to do if there's a lull and so on.
Of course each situation is particular, but surely there must be some "rules of court" compilation for gentlemen. I wish to think more highly of myself than some anons imply in this thread; I don't consider myself hopelessly lost. But in cases where a blankness does envelop the brain, a "book move" would come in handy.

[Anonymous No.22107625]

>>22107606
Let me schizo post in peace and contain the desire to talk like that to an online board

[Anonymous No.22107642]

>>22107625
Damn, I used to go from Slough to Windsor and Windsor to Slough all the time when I was 3-4 years old.

[Anonymous No.22107734]

>>22107360
You get invited to events?

[Anonymous No.22107750]

>>22107360
>schizo blankness in brain
Schizos are known to have lots of voices going on in their heads… don’t listen to them though

[Anonymous No.22107927]

>>22107415
>ask: I can't tell if you are humoring me or not interested or what and I would rather not just assume disinterest and miss the chance.

[Anonymous No.22108379]

>>22107360
Maybe psychoanalytic ones but it's no use understanding what and why you're doing, you have to experience it with another person.
The problem is that you think you should tell something in these moments

[Anonymous No.22109557]

>>22107360
You don't belong on a lit board.

[Anonymous No.22109586]

>>22107360
How to social
Make people laugh
Fucking leave so you don’t spoil it

[Anonymous No.22109606]

>>22107518
NTA but what if I'm a shut-in who can do (and have done) that garage sale thing easily but don't know how to move up from that, going up to someone at a bar sounds painfully obvious, "hello i am going to attempt to court you ergo i am approaching you", like does that shit really even work on anyone sane?

[Anonymous No.22110921]

bumpu