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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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22093514 No.22093514 [Reply] [Original]

>went for a walk on a hot and sunny day after work
>saw some Staceys and felt sad
>early 30s, no female attraction ever, no friends since school
>bought doritos, skittles, ben and jerry's, toblerone... and a pepsi max
>now binging at home, feeling so depressilised
>plan to squat 385 lbs for 3 reps later today
>summer is two days away and I have a BMI of 33
>need to lose 50 lbs in 36 hours or else I'll have to wait until next summer for my dreams of a late 90s/early 00s-style cliched teenage but not teenage coming of age tragicomefarce movie or pop-punk music video-like daydreams to materialise (despite having less than zero social life and a full time job)
>facing a summer that's positively houellebecqian in nature

What's the next step of my master plan?

>> No.22093555

>>22093514
Transition. I hope that helps.

>> No.22093560

POST GOOD IDENTITY CRISIS LITERATURE ILL START:

THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT BY JOHN STEINBECK

>> No.22093595

>>22093514
Behold the /fit/cel

>> No.22093612

>>22093514
Why would you buy pepsi and all this shit if you're trying to lose weight? Are you retarded?

>> No.22093643

>>22093514
>What's the next step in my master plan?
>You spend that $400 dollars you've been saving in a tin can.
>Take a bus, on a whim, to BFE Eastern NM
>Meet your ol buddy, actual total stranger, Mr Me Anon.
>Cue: desperate intoxicated hijinx of a small town but epic and endearing and philosophic nature
>Third act doldrums
>Summer ends
>"I guess it's the friend we make along the way after all, anon!"
>THE END

>> No.22093651
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22093651

You should add some healthy food into your binge. Something easy, like a caesar salad with fried chicken and croutons, or some of those bottled smoothies that taste sweeter than Pepsi.
I've been eating nothing but ramen and Doritos since this weekend, but I got a bag of spinach to mix into my ramen so that my digestive system doesn't seize up. It wilts away and you almost don't notice it.

>> No.22093657

>>22093514
Go to the Philippines

>> No.22093716

was unsure if authentic lf post but he uses the imperial system of measurement and writes materialise not materialize. might still be a more advanced impostor.

>> No.22094050

>>22093651
>>22093514
i hate fat people so much it’s unreal

>> No.22094385

>>22093514
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>> No.22094391

>>22093514
I'm skinny as fuck and live the same miserable life.

>> No.22094392
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22094392

>>22093514

>> No.22094401
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22094401

>> No.22095452

>>22093514
Get down on the floor now and do sit ups. Forget about plans of deadlifts or whatever. Plans are for the future, you are to act now! So do it now! Get down and give me 100 hundred minimum.
You can do it so get down from your chair and do it anon. When tomorrow comes deadlift. But tomorrow is tomorrow and now is now. Act now.

>> No.22095522

>>22093514
Londonfrog you will have a good summer I feel it. I believe in you

>> No.22095536

>>22095452
This, but do deadlifts and squats now. JUST DO IT! Now!!!

>> No.22095665

>>22094050
don't worry, we hate you too, faggot. most /fit/ types are only getting muscles to impress other men. because guess what? women don't actually care about that. they care about face mostly. at the top of the tiers of aesthetical judgement. the only ones who care about "sick gains" are other guys trying to size you up for buttsex.

>> No.22096545

>>22093514
autism: the post

>> No.22096599
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22096599

>>22093612

>> No.22096613

>>22093514
good morning londonfrog, I have missed you (I'm a girl btw)

>> No.22096620

This is not londonfrog

>> No.22096649

>>22093514
>early 30s
>bought doritos, skittles, ben and jerry's, toblerone... and a pepsi max
How are you not diabetic? Eating that stuff is okay in your mid 20s, but 30 is around the time you need to cut it out or deal with permanent consequences.

>> No.22096923

>>22093514
Cabbage. You're welcome.

>> No.22096948

Desu I've kinda started to hate going outside just because of all the cute couples.

I'm not fat though, I just drink too much.

>> No.22096949

>>22096613
Post feet.

>> No.22096957

>>22093514
summer is not 2 days away

>> No.22096973

>>22093514
I remember feeling this enormous wave of depression and anguish when I walked around a place I was visiting and saw 18 year old students having fun together. I felt like such a fucking old man. It struck me so hard that my time was over and that I was never going to be able to go back and experience that for myself - walking around under the summer sun in a city far away from home with a gaggle of girls around me.
I was 19 and still in my second year of university back when that happened. What a complete and utter idiot I was to feel that way.

>> No.22096985

>>22096973
Did you feel like an idiot because you thought that when you were so young yourself or because you did gain happiness afterwards?

>> No.22097077

>>22096985
The former. I'm 27 now and can now accept that there are people younger than me. That said, I'm truly dreading turning 30.

>> No.22097326

>>22097077
Just turned 31. I met a 24 year old and grew closer and then one days she casually said "I'd totally date you if you was younger, I'm not really into older guys though."
Hurry up, anon. Your time is fleeting.

>> No.22097369

>>22093514
If you're going to have a Houellebecqian summer, embrace it. Spend all your disposable income on prostitutes. I know for a fact there are a lot of very nice ones in London.

Your life is a work of art, as are your posts. It is a somber reflection on all those hours we have collectively thrown away here, for no benefit or enjoyment save a hollow laugh once every two weeks, out of habit, or out of fear of the world - a testament to all those existences of quiet and impotent desperation that wither away, just waiting around to die. While there is a certain gravitas to your consistency and tenacity of upholding the mundane (and frankly horrifying) routine, the crushing grind of an insignificant everyday existence, you must degenerate in the second arc of your character development - the Tartar Steppe, the Book of Disquiet - these have already been done, and while I appreciate the art of your posts and life, it is, so far, derivative, and you must transcend.

I want you to have sex with at least five prostitutes before you post again, and use that post to describe your encounters, and what reflections it gives cause to, since you have, as you say, never had any female attention ever.

>> No.22098400

>>22094401
lmao

>> No.22098404

>>22097369
anon needs to jerk off