/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.22074856]

Why didn't they just dig a tunnel into Mordor?

[Anonymous No.22074863]

>>22074856
Why dint Frodo wear the one ring on his cock. That way the orcs and ringwraiths couldnt take it off him without being homos.

[Anonymous No.22074864]

>>22074856
>like, why wasn’t there a subway installed?
Oh, good job adding to the meme.

[Anonymous No.22074867]

>>22074863
ring too big.

[Anonymous No.22074877]

>>22074867
The ring changes to the size of the wearer's fingers. Surely it could do the penis?

[Anonymous No.22074879]

>>22074867
The ring changes size. It would easily fit round a hobbits peepee

[Anonymous No.22074895]

Cause Sauron’s underground brother, Soilron would catch them

[Anonymous No.22074903]

>the evil forces of Sauron are stirring in the east and the north, threatening all that is good
>I better go visit my trusted ally, Sauron-man, for help

[Anonymous No.22074917]

>>22074879
>>22074877
the ring's diameter cannot be reduced insofar that frodo could wear it around his dick

[Anonymous No.22075022]

>>22074917
Actually Hobbits have canonically giant cocks there even was this hobbit named three leg or something BHC is real

[Anonymous No.22075037]

>>22074856
Serious answer: That would’ve taken way too long.

[Anonymous No.22075039]

>>22074917
The ring being unable to be worn as a cock ring is literally noncanonical, if you knew anything about Tolkein's legendarium and weren't just a poser, you would know that cockring tactics is a bigger plothole than the eagles.

[Anonymous No.22075127]

>>22075039
>poser
You CLEARLY haven't read Tolkien's works thoroughly, nor have you read the transcript where he elaborates on the limits of the rings. I do not intend to debate the frodo cock ring 'plothole' a third time. If any of you actually just read the books and listened to what tolkien had to say about them you wouldn't even be on this board stirring the shit again.

[Anonymous No.22075198]

>>22074895
>>22074903
Holy fuck my sides

[Anonymous No.22075211]

>>22074856
No digging permits

[Anonymous No.22075271]

>>22074903
I know he's a linguist and to him the difference between Sauron and Saruman were clear as night-and-day, but it's still very funny that he never expected laypeople to find them similar to an almost confusing degree.

[Anonymous No.22075308]

>>22074856
Serious question: did Aragorn make the right choice in going for Elfussy? He could have had Eowyns prime viking vag. What choice would (YOU) have made?

[Anonymous No.22075324]

>>22075308
Aragorn is 80 but still has a very long time to live. It's fair to pick the eternally young elf puss over a girl that will hit the wall in the equivalent of 1/50th of his life.

[Anonymous No.22075327]

>>22075308
You know Eowyn was STANKIN. Probably the biggest dirtiest bush in Rohan.

[Anonymous No.22075340]

>>22075308
He was already vowed to Arwen while Eowyn was in the crib. Aragorn is a pinnacle of European civilizational ideas, which would mean cheating on (essentially) his betrothed does not befit him.

[Anonymous No.22075359]

>>22075308
Gee i dont know anon. Will i rqin faithfull to my bethroted eternally young elfen wife. Or the human human roastie that lost her hymen in a "horse riding accident"

[Anonymous No.22075373]

>>22075359
>I heckin LOVE licking 3000 years of elven cum out of my "eternally young" sloppy seconds waifu

[Anonymous No.22075383]

>>22075373
She's a virgin, don't compare Elven sexual stanards to that of 21st century Am*ricums.

[Anonymous No.22075397]

>>22075383
>As told in "The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen", in his twentieth year Aragorn met Arwen for the first time in Rivendell, where he lived under Elrond's protection. Arwen, then over 2,700 years old, had recently returned to her father's home after living with her grandmother, Galadriel, in Lothlórien.
>Arwen, then over 2,700 years old
>She's a virgin

[Anonymous No.22075403]

>>22075397
See >>22075383

[Anonymous No.22075402]

>>22075397
It might come as a surprise to you troon but most w*meme arent cock addicted whores.

[Anonymous No.22075406]

>>22075324
Only valid point
>>22075327
>cant handle crack sweat
Virgin
>>22075340
Hot guys cheat, uggos cope. Simple as.
>>22075359
Why not plow eowyn and plow arwen once eowyn dies?

[Anonymous No.22075411]

>>22075406
>Why not plow eowyn and plow arwen once eowyn dies?
She's going to the Undying Lands unless he puts a ring on it you illiterate alzheimers fucker.
Also why would she accept used goods?

[Anonymous No.22075425]

>>22075308
That's actually a really good question because of how elven sexuality works. If it's the same as elf-on-elf sex then he made a huge mistake, they'll fuck for a month, she'll conceive then turn asexual and Eowyn is a better choice.
If, on the other hand, he gets her addicted to BHC and overcomes her limitations(or if they disappear once she goes human the first time like immortality), then she's the better one obviy. Though she would hit the wall at some point surely, since she'd become mortal and all.

[Anonymous No.22075440]

>>22075411
>why would she accept used goods?
You really dont know anything at all about women do you? They dig a man with a high bodycount
>t. High volume fucker since age 15
>>22075425
Now THATS an answer. Elf sexuality is incompatible with human male urges

[Anonymous No.22075450]

>>22075402
>>22075403
>NOOOOO NOT MY HECKIN WAIFURINO SHE TOTALLY NEVER HAD SEX IN HER 3000 YEARS AS A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH NO FATHER FIGURE AROUND IN A FUNKY FOREST FULL OF SPRY ELVEN BUCKS
The absolute fucking state of you. Imagine tasting 500 cocks every time you kiss your "purest girl", imagine trying to fill a hole that spent centuries riding Bad Fellbeast dildos, imagine actually thinking she's into your pasty flabby Engwar physique and isn't dreaming about the Big Orcish Cock she was built for all the time.

[Anonymous No.22075459]

>>22075450
When will you accept that elves are not:
a) human
b)Amer*can

[Anonymous No.22075483]

>>22075459
>richest
>no understanding for lesser life forms
>proud
>beautiful
>everyone wishes they were them
>ignoring the rest of the world most of the time
Elves are a lot like Americans to be honest

[Anonymous No.22075489]

>>22075483
>beautiful
>a lot like Americans

[Anonymous No.22075580]

>>22075450
something something corruption something something evil something something Mutt's Law

Captcha: DARN 8X

[Anonymous No.22075607]

>>22074856
There was a 4th wizard, Caveman, who was initially gonna dig through the floor to Mordor and provide the necessary magics and scaffolding to let the Fellowship through, where they'd meet a big fiery demon at the end. But that got turned into Moria.

[Anonymous No.22075641]

>>22075607
Nobody reads Tolkein's letters, so nobody knows about Caveman and the plotholes his exclusion caused.

[Anonymous No.22075644]

>>22075127
>I do not intend to debate the frodo cock ring 'plothole' a third time.

[Anonymous No.22075656]

Why didnt Sam just stuck the orcs in a stew?

[Anonymous No.22075667]

>>22075656
He's a stupid hobbit. A fat, stupid, hobbits.

[Anonymous No.22075809]

>>22074903
Kek

[Anonymous No.22076496]

>>22074879
>hobbits peepee

It is a known fact that hobbits are hung like horses

[Anonymous No.22076679]

>>22075483
>beautiful