Write What’s On Your Mind

[Anonymous No.22058859]

/wwoym/ Dipping Sauce edition

Previous thread >>22050976

[Anonymous No.22058871]

[Anonymous No.22058895]

>>22058871
it's weird, now that my sister is old, fat, and single, she suddenly has developed sympathy for lonely men. when she was younger she was always like "why don't they just, like, have sex?".

[Anonymous No.22058899]

>>22058871
>porn
>covid
>muh feminist narrative
It's like they purposefully avoid the truth (they do)

[Anonymous No.22058901]

Oh my fucking God I can't stand having to pay the rent. My weeks of hedonism have drained my finances and I'm not especially regretful either anymore; more that I don't enjoy counting days to relieve a burden every calendar month. It's an extra thing to think about that I should rather not.

[Anonymous No.22058905]

>>22058871
>almost double
So where are the other women? I always heard there were more women in the world by a little bit, this says there’s fewer by a lot

[Anonymous No.22058911]

>>22058871
What does the discrepancy mean? That women who aren't single are actually being dated by men who date multiple women? So half of them are in a polyamorous relationship/being cheated on? Or does it mean women date older men (in their 30s)? Or does it mean women are lying? The stats are too ambiguous by themselves.

[Anonymous No.22058913]

>>22058859
This thread invariably degenerates into pity-seeking microblogging, a peak through the perverted perspective of anon.

I love it

[Anonymous No.22058928]

Burnout. That's what is on my mind, and I'm not talking about the videogame series.

[Anonymous No.22058933]

>>22058901
Look into Andrew Tate

[Anonymous No.22058947]

How do I stop having sinful thoughts? Lust, hubris, slouth, etc.

[Anonymous No.22058950]

>>22058911
women probably say they're in a relationship at an earlier stage than men

[Anonymous No.22058951]

>>22058899
Are you trying to spout off about your fetish again?
That’s covered by “porn”

[Anonymous No.22058956]

>>22058911
I think it means that their study is horrendously full of holes.
OP is probably Ronny

[Anonymous No.22058959]

Mommy's Vicodin and yerba mate for breakfast, yum!

[Anonymous No.22058970]

>>22058951
meds

[Anonymous No.22058979]

>>22058951
Yes. The real problem is we can't compete against BBC

[Anonymous No.22058989]

>>22058859
I seriously doubt that Woman fought and killed that crustacean by herself. Yet another unthanked Male peon giving his life for a feckless Cow.

[Anonymous No.22058997]

>>22058989
he got paid for it

[Anonymous No.22059003]

>>22058997
is this your definition of getting paid? he's getting played, not paid, and we all know who's doing the pimping - Daz.

[Anonymous No.22059005]

>>22058989
That’s a taco

[Anonymous No.22059015]

So I'm watching body cam footage on YouTube and going through the comments.
One of the comments got my attention.
"People are so crazy we'll have content forever"
And that's when I realized, you know, that person was right.
This doesn't end with the next evolution in technology so profound it trivializes the internet.
This is it. This is the peak of humanity. Nothing changes from here.

[Anonymous No.22059018]

>>22059003
Capitalism has always been about getting played.
Why do support it with your every breath and turn around to blame others who just use it because of people like you insisting we must keep it??
If only I had that stick…

[Anonymous No.22059020]

>>22059005
Stop gaslighting white knight simp

[Anonymous No.22059030]

>>22059005
>taco
It cannot be, for:
to-day is not an tues-day.

[Anonymous No.22059032]

>>22059030
Holy rekt

[Anonymous No.22059038]

I’m depressed because I feel like I’ve chosen a life for myself that prohibits me from obtaining the future I actually desire.

[Anonymous No.22059057]

>>22059038
Did you ever consider that outside influences are convincing you that the life you live is unsatisfactory and that you actually like your life but you've been trained from an early age to bow down to society's institutions?

[Anonymous No.22059068]

My life is the essential form of greed but none of it is material greed. It's intellectual and spiritual, but it's greed nonetheless. I'm not sure why there's no word for this since wikipedia thinks greed is about wealth or status. These are inferior forms and a truly greedy person like myself has nothing to do with something so fickle. That's not even true greed, it's being a fool. True greed is intellectual and spiritual since these are much higher and valuable.

[Anonymous No.22059069]

>>22059057
Actually, I have but in the end I don’t think that’s the case.

[Anonymous No.22059077]

>>22059057
No, I'm depressed because I want to prance down the street in a shark costume and stab people left and right.

[Anonymous No.22059078]

>>22059057
That only happens to women. Are you a woman?

[Anonymous No.22059087]

>>22059078
>>22059077
>>22059069
>>22059081

[Anonymous No.22059115]

ChatGPT is pushing me further and further into my fantasies. I stay up late into the night modifying the prompts slightly so that it writes me ever more perfect fantasies, ad infinitum. My desire to do other things is dwindling.

[Anonymous No.22059119]

>>22059115
No duh, that's the idea

[Anonymous No.22059130]

Life sucks honestly. I wish I had done things differently. The tragedy of getting older is that you just sort of are who you’ve been and you can’t undo that.

[Anonymous No.22059156]

When I was a child I believed or perhaps was led to believe that if I work hard, I will be able to have what my parents have - a two story house with a garage and a large garden in the back where me and my friends played while our parents were having a BBQ, drinks, a good time. It seemed at the time that that's just how life is.
I'm an adult now with a full time job in the IT sector, I have experience, certificates, I'm a specialist who is contacted by recruiters on LinkedIn every day asking me if I want to interview for their company. I earn nearly double the average salary in my city. Yet, I can barely afford a definitely-not-luxurious single bedroom apartment and a 2010 Toyota corolla.
I will never own a house

[Anonymous No.22059167]

I got attacked by Hyenas once and whenever it's dark I can almost see their eyes glinting in the night again. Crazy how hard they bite

[Anonymous No.22059176]

>>22059167
larp. hyenas literally don't exist outside of lion king

[Anonymous No.22059188]

>>22059176
Oh maybe I'm just very schizophrenic, thanks for the free therapy anon.

[Anonymous No.22059191]

>>22058951
>>22058970
>>22058979
big kek
big black kek, in fact

[Anonymous No.22059231]

>>22058913

[Anonymous No.22059235]

I need to stop skipping church bros

[Anonymous No.22059239]

>>22058871
If all the men are single then who the fuck are the women dating

[Anonymous No.22059246]

>>22059239
Other women

[Anonymous No.22059247]

There's this girl frens that I like a lot and somewhat have fallen in love with although we haven't talked we're mutual acquaintances & pretty young in college, I've been trying to get around her uber leftist circle but can't go ahead with things. I've very innocent thoughts about her, and its really a love at first sight sort of situation with my infatuation starting exactly at the moment my eyes rested upon her at her gleeful refuse when her friends asked her something, I'm no Nabokov but she has no comparison and all I've left of that day is an ever perishing vignette. Unfortunately it's likely that I won't be able to talk to her now, at least of a year & half, because of some particular things that happened to me a few days ago and more that the thing which has been causing me the most serious torment is that the fact in my time I knew her I couldn't approach her is because she's a communist Muslim doing a humanities degree & I'm, much farther away from her, a reactionary Hindu lanklet with opinions that her religion & ideology should perish as well as "some" people of them. She absolutely hates right wing people & goes on diatribes about on Twitter, prefers to stay around Muslims as well, is of a bit higher & urban background than mine, almost nothing in common in us. But anons I like her a lot like how a man who doesn't jacks off to the woman he loves and makes a man's heart nearly perturbate upon her sight. I've no way out of this my good sirs, my opinion used to that I'm an unlovable maladjusted tame schizoid guy whose friends & family keep in contempt but now I feel regret of not having talked to her before now that already has a boyfriend. Should I hit /fit/ for advice?

[Anonymous No.22059249]

I met my new gf in this comfy friend group. We've been dating for a while, but she still insists on pretending like we're not together when we hang out with the group.
Why might that be? When I ask her, she just says that in case we break up soon (what a thought to have at the beginning of a relationship), it feels bad to have to explain to friends what went wrong.
It's particularly troubling to me, because this has already happened to me a couple years back (with a different girl in a different friend group) and it turned out that she was at that time still official with her boyfriend who I didn't know of but another friend from the group knew.. and we only became official after she broke up with him. Which was a giant red flag ofc.
Even if it weren't for this, it still feels like lying at the very least. I don't like playing theater roles in places where I go to chill.

[Anonymous No.22059252]

Ketamine, MDMA, cocaine and a magic mushroom. Nada.

[Anonymous No.22059257]

>>22059249
Why do you tolerate that man?

[Anonymous No.22059259]

My mind is up here in another wave. Covered in hair.

[Anonymous No.22059261]

>>22059249
Behold, the modern "man".

[Anonymous No.22059263]

>>22059247
Post pic of the qt hole you're in love with

[Anonymous No.22059267]

>>22059247
>communist muslim
What the fuck

[Anonymous No.22059273]

>>22059257
I'm asking myself that right now.
>>22059261
How new are you that you expect normally functioning people on this Jamaican blunt rolling forum?

[Anonymous No.22059274]

>>22059156
Did you really even think about that? I didn’t want any of that shit when I was young. I sincerely did not care. I just sort of reluctantly went through school and work in sort of quiet despair not even really knowing what I wanted. I don’t even have my own apartment anymore though, and I now have no car. Maybe if you didn’t want that stuff, you wouldn’t even have what you do have.

[Anonymous No.22059280]

>>22059273
Have some dignity or self-respect dude

[Anonymous No.22059291]

big dicks will rule the world

[Anonymous No.22059295]

>>22059291
2 more weeks

[Anonymous No.22059300]

>>22059156
dude, you're gonna have to suck it up and commute. i used to live in a college town and up the road from my house was they built this suburban cul-de-sac thing of two story houses with big yards that all sold to people who worked in a city in another state. they would drive like 90 minutes to get to work just so their kids could grow up in a decent town. my dad worked in a factory and we had a shitty house that he literally built half of himself and so was always leaking and rotting. it was awful, but kind of great.

[Anonymous No.22059309]

What do I do? Thanks to 4chan I have been exposed and now regularly masturbate to trans girls... do I see a trans prostitute and get it over with or do I live in a repressed manner? I'm a Christian too, hopefully the doctrine of justification covers trans porn. I hate this fetish, I now reminisce about when I just liked milfs. Simpler times. I think if I was to act out on my desires I wouldn't like it because of the smell and the feeling that it'd just be awkward and I'll realise I'm straight

[Anonymous No.22059335]

the left has gone insane

[Anonymous No.22059354]

>>22059267
Islamo leftism is a very real thing especially here in India & they aren't atheists. I was one day thinking that maybe I should tell her about Sartre's position on Israel as I learned that she was reading his book in the library

[Anonymous No.22059374]

>>22059280
You sound irate. Are you irritated by what I wrote?
What bogs you?

[Anonymous No.22059381]

weed was legalized like two years ago and there is still not one legal dispensary in my city what the fuck is this shit

[Anonymous No.22059410]

>>22059381
don't use weed bro, stay with us

[Anonymous No.22059439]

>>22059374
I'm not
Don't tolerate disrespect like that towards you

That's all

[Anonymous No.22059442]

>>22059381
(((They))) want to set up the zoning laws so they get first dibs on dudeweedlmao licensces.

[Anonymous No.22059451]

Is there such thing as a conservative communist?

[Anonymous No.22059454]

>>22059442
i know. they said all the licenses would go to "people impacted by the war on drugs" but instead they all went to them. basically they got it legalized just enough so they could steal the market from organized crime but now have to face a true free market.

[Anonymous No.22059471]

>>22059451
the soviets against perestroika and glasnot could be considered conservatives

[Anonymous No.22059473]

>>22058859
I am high on ketamine and everything is disconcerting.

Your pic: disconcerting.
>>22058871
That man: disconcerting

>>22059247
>somewhat have fallen in love with although we haven't talked

DISCONCERTING

[Anonymous No.22059483]

>>22059473
>Home Depot ran out of pickles

[Anonymous No.22059486]

>>22059451
Stalin hated fags and banned prostitution

[Anonymous No.22059492]

>>22059471
Has someone reconciled conservatism with far leftist economics?

[Anonymous No.22059522]

>>22058859
I hate how drugs have become a mainstream thing over the years. People are happy they are becoming retards. Before I changed social circles I couldn't go through a single party that didn't involve drugs. Most of these users were poor and lost in life and for some reason they were always trying to share a joint or something. No thanks I don't want a share of your poison, your stinky clothes and your bad smelling breath. Kind of a sad thing that so many of these friendly people were all thinking they could stop whenever they wanted.

Before weedfaggots start responding, know that I don't drink alcohol. I don't drink coffee and no, I don't have a sugar addiction as I like my teeth sparkling clean.

[Anonymous No.22059535]

DO I SEE THE TRANS PROSTITUTE OR NOT?!!

[Anonymous No.22059543]

I'm working as a temp in my alma matter's bookstore, and it isn't great. It's the best that menial labor can be, but it is not what I want for myself. Since I am unable to find a worthwhile path for myself, I plan on ending it. If you were planning on working in a bookstore, I'll tell you that working for a corporation is no fun; avoid Barnes and Noble (and Amazon)

[Anonymous No.22059545]

>>22059535
If I were a trans prostitute I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy spending time with such an indecisive person

[Anonymous No.22059547]

I love nothing and no-one, least of all myself. A shell beaten into human-shape by the projectiles of the world, they persist and are tearing off my limp limbs.

[Anonymous No.22059554]

>>22059535
No. They're adult men wearing women's clothes. They smell like men, their voice is rough and real life doesn't have camera angles. This is fucking disgusting and anuses don't feel good at all. Just my take on it. Don't do it.

[Anonymous No.22059561]

I become a wholly different person while horny. I become brooding, contemptuous, impatient, and my sende of humor dries up completely. But beyond that I become outright sadistic. I enjoy pain and total control. My fantasies are manipulative and exploitative. After cooming I feel grave concern and disgust in myself. I'm afraid that my sexuality will make it impossible to ever have a healthy relationship. Its far easier for me to sedate myself by jacking off in excess to kill all sense of sex in social settings.

[Anonymous No.22059568]

>>22059291
*laughs in Xi Jinping*

[Anonymous No.22059571]

>>22059247
>communist Muslim
>reactionary hindu
Are you in northern India or are you a couple of retarded Americans?

[Anonymous No.22059583]

>>22059374
Accept the criticism without being a bitch. The anon is right, you're letting that girl string you along and she will have no respect for you if you permit it

[Anonymous No.22059584]

>>22059492
Strasser

[Anonymous No.22059598]

All of the most attractive women that I come across on social media these days are like 16 years old. What the fuck is in the water these days?

[Anonymous No.22059607]

>>22059247
she is going to hell for being a communist muslim anyways but she will also go to hell for becoming romantic with a polytheist. you're out of luck anon, it's totally incompatible

[Anonymous No.22059608]

>>22059598
Theres litterally nothing wrong with being attracted to 16 year olds

[Anonymous No.22059615]

>>22059309
you should stop watching porn in general
trans "girls" are just men who have had plastic surgery and hormone injections. they are men, plain and simple. fetishism infects your brain and makes you think otherwise.

[Anonymous No.22059621]

>>22059439
>>22059583
OK, honestly, I didn't realize this is disrespectful towards me. I'm actually on the spectrum, so I have trouble seeing what's normal. If you can explain what's disrespectful about it, it would help me a lot.
I'll talk to her about it.

[Anonymous No.22059623]

>>22059535
You some type of faggot?

[Anonymous No.22059630]

>>22059621
Basically, you're her back up plan and side project. She's using you for validation but clearly doesnt value you enough to tell her friends. If she hides you, then you are not dating. She's using you. I dont know how severe your autism is but thats seriously gonna cause major challeneges. Good luck bro

[Anonymous No.22059642]

>>22059630
Well, it seems so clear now, thanks.
Idk how I didn't see that.

[Anonymous No.22059650]

>>22059571
. I'm very schizoid n she's perfect & like how Nietzsche says "The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters" and I've let guard down telling people things I should have refrained from so I'll better try to act normally not regurgitating that I find lower and some of her people's blood & behavior disgusting, I haven't told my friends about it yet as well since I'm a brahmin who has previously publicly expressed my disgust at blood corruption on inter caste & religion marriages.

[Anonymous No.22059656]

>>22059650
Forgot to write yes Indians

[Anonymous No.22059667]

>>22059309
i jack off to certain trannies too but i can't imagine ever getting to the point of wanting a tranny prostitute, 90% of trannies are hideous anyways

[Anonymous No.22059715]

>>22059650
Are you expecting this to turn into some kind of romeo and juliet romance? Just drop it dude, you're totally incompatible

[Anonymous No.22059733]

I think I'm in love with an idea of my ideal girl so much that I would never be able to love a real one. I feel essentially no desire to seek out love because I know that even if I were lucky enough to find someone apparently compatible with me, I would find a way to screw it up and in the end, have achieved nothing aside from wasting my time and disappointing myself yet again. It doesn't help that my conception of the ideal girl is extremely unrealistic, bordering on the impossible

[Anonymous No.22059736]

>>22059607
I hope she becomes a Hindu even if I don't get her I can't her see her associating with that religion & her leftism. I know a bit of Maslow, Freud and about to learn the Great Mother by Erich Neumann so I can learn her field as well as some things in her syllabus. Although we have different campuses and branches, our institute may have some event there in some time and since I couldn't get my friends to go to her college fest when I had the perfect approach planned after her performance. I could feel her warmth in the times I have seen her & up close & was almost introduced by another but now I only lament & post about on 4channel literature board.
Also, xi jinping of weed smoking I wish you come back and your at loves you

[Anonymous No.22059742]

>>22059736
*your qt loves. Fking shit keyboard

[Anonymous No.22059750]

>solves philosophy
>btfo's Locke
>btfo's materialists with ideas and logic
>makes you feel like an idiot for thinking matter exists
>solves countless paradoxes by dismissing them
>people avoid him out of fear
>dreaded by many despite debunking solipsism (passive perception at least points to a general flaw in solipsism).
>first you seethe, then you cope, then you kneel
>gives life meaning again
>still unrefuted
>still based

[Anonymous No.22059768]

>>22059733
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWNT11IqSXM

[Anonymous No.22059781]

would people be more likely or less likely to read a gay human on dragon romance story if it were written in early modern english (with the spelling and writing conventions reminiscent of milton and shakespeare)?

[Anonymous No.22059788]

>>22059750
The only based anglo to have ever lived

[Anonymous No.22059808]

>>22059750
Don't forget pic related

[Anonymous No.22059866]

I'm convinced that I'm a vulnerable narcissist.
Guess I should try psychedelics or something to get rid of this.

[Anonymous No.22059889]

i've noticed a new type of manchildism the last few days as i wonder around the city. i always see these guys with women, so it's probably not that common on the usual internet spaces because they seem to be getting laid, but it's ... it's guys wearing these "retro" shoes when you were kid. the other night i saw this dude and his gf walking downtown and he seemed like a normal reletavily respectable dude, tho slightly short, until i noticed he was wearing some kind of 1980s air jordans sneakers that i think i might have had in about 3rd grade, or more like i probably wanted them but my parents wouldn't buy them for me because they knew they were bullshit. still, how can you dress 90% as a serious person and then put on children's shoes when you go out to dinner?

[Anonymous No.22059935]

>>22059866
How are today's people so retarded?
>bro i have this issue named by a schizo jew i should get more drugs from some jewish psychiatrist that will solve my problems
Holy shit you're fucking retarded

[Anonymous No.22060073]

>>22059935
You are dumber than you think.

[Anonymous No.22060075]

>>22059935

[Anonymous No.22060083]

>>22059935
Even worse. Let me dose up taking the word of some shady dealer, perfect capitalist at that, and that will solve all my problems. Lmao i hope your psych wardmates are chill.

[Anonymous No.22060085]

>>22059451
Conservative in what aspect?

[Anonymous No.22060091]

>>22059239
Yeah this one said >>22059246
lesbianism is on the rise so that means one thing: corrective rape.

[Anonymous No.22060101]

>>22059808
Gross.

Anyways, getting groceries soon

[Anonymous No.22060127]

>>22059866
The idea that psychedelics can simply resolve our issues is pretty bunk. You take shrooms, you have some realizations that you could have any other Tuesday if you just sat down in silence for a while, but the euphoria of the whole thing makes you feel like you've just solved the rubix cube of your every psychic downfall. You'll be back to normal in a couple weeks. The screaming baby on the plane reverts from heartbreaking and beautiful cry of pure life to an annoying rugrat.

Are you a young man, anon?

[Anonymous No.22060137]

>>22058859
Ne la laisse pas tomber
Elle est si fragile
Tu sais être une femme libérée
C'est pas si facile

[Anonymous No.22060152]

I'll tell you one thing. Those shrooms and psychedelics are amazing for your neurotransmitters and brain chemistry. The afterglow gets rid of any depressive tendencies, generally just feels like a full brain reset

I wouldn't mind microdosing or taking casual doses eventually

[Anonymous No.22060154]

>>22060127
>Are you a young man, anon?
Yes

[Anonymous No.22060157]

>>22060152
microdosing is a waste of drugs. You may as well take kratom or ssris if youre scared.

[Anonymous No.22060159]

>>22060157
Are you kidding? Shrooms and lsd are closest to all natural you can get

Why else do you think they're illegal? Nobody can make any profit and they're more effective than any other pharma drug

[Anonymous No.22060164]

>>22058859
Let's just admit she won't come back, ever. Alright. Now keep that thought for a day, then a week, then a month, then a year. You are now free from everything that ever held you back. Congratulations, you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not (the you she loved) anymore!

The prize you earn is the realization of your own stupidity for having waited this long. It is a hefty gift, for you were too focused on yourself to notice you were already complete. No, you don't need another human being to live. Breathe, smile, you are now ready to fall in love again.

[Anonymous No.22060171]

>>22060159
>lsd
>natural
Shut the fuck up you clueless hippy imbecile. Go eat raw ergot if you think its so natural.

[Anonymous No.22060172]

>>22060171
Again, see the part about neurotransmitters and brain chemistry anon

[Anonymous No.22060175]

I'm not gonna advocate anyone here take SSRIs or kratom instead, if that's what you mean. That would be nonsensical

[Anonymous No.22060181]

>shrooms totally worked for me
>on a barely living board on a Tasmanian bicycle enthusiast forum in the middle of a sunny day/beautiful evening

[Anonymous No.22060184]

>>22060181
That's why I need them
Are you implying I should get myself a nice SSRI prescription instead?

[Anonymous No.22060185]

>>22060154
What makes you think you're a vulnerable narcissist?

[Anonymous No.22060188]

>>22060172
>chemistry and neurotransmitters
>advanced chem synthesis
By your idiotic reckoning pure cocaine and methamphetimine are even more natural. Fuck lets throw in ghb, pcp, and mdma. Fucking clown.

[Anonymous No.22060189]

>>22060188
10/10 anon

[Anonymous No.22060193]

>>22060184
I'm implying if hallucinogenics couldn't fix you then maybe the problem is with your lack of motivation and not your lack of awareness

[Anonymous No.22060199]

>>22060193
I think you've confused me with the other anon.

[Anonymous No.22060202]

>>22060199
I'm talking to myself

[Anonymous No.22060244]

>>22060202

[Anonymous No.22060247]

>>22060244

[Anonymous No.22060265]

Are there any books that detail the creative process behind certain discoveries?
They don't have to be scientific, what I'm looking for is a compendium of intelligent thinking.

[Anonymous No.22060275]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJmdZNyrE9k

[Anonymous No.22060295]

>>22060265
Holton, Thematic Origins of Scientific Thought
Hanson, Patterns of Discovery
Koestler, Act of Creation
Poincare, Intuition and Logic in Mathematics
Ochse, Before the Gates of Excellence: The Determinants of Creative Genius

[Anonymous No.22060306]

>>22060295
Wonderful, thank you.

[Anonymous No.22060307]

>>22060295
>Before the Gates of Excellence: The Determinants of Creative Genius
In Winston's books one may trace a steady theme: Great men are frequently products of boyhood loneliness. He wrote 'Solitary trees, if they grow at all grow strong; and a boy deprived of a father's care often develops, if he escapes the perils of youth, an independence and vigour of thought which may restore in after life the heavy loss of early days'. (p. 188)

Some case histories of eminent creators indicate that, as children, they suffered intensely from loneliness. For example Joseph Conrad thus described his feelings during the time when he had already been bereaved of a mother and his father lay ill:

I don't know what would have become of me if I had not been a reading boy. My prep finished, I would have nothing to do but sit and watch the awful stillness of the sickroom flow through the closed door and coldly enfold my scared heart. I suppose that in a futile childish way I would have gone crazy. Often, not always, I cried myself into a good sound sleep. (Quoted by Illingworth & Illingworth, 1969, p. 31))

In other cases there are signs of resignation to loneliness. English

poet, Sir Edmund Gosse, explained that The mere fact that I had young companions, no story books, no outdoor amusements, none of the thousand and one employments provided for other children in more conventional surroundings, did not make me discomforted or fretful, because I did not know of the existence of such entertainments. I have no recollection about any curiosity about other children, nor of any desire to speak to them or play with them. They did not enter into my dreams, which were occupied entirely with grown up people and animals. I am unable to recollect exchanging two words with another child till after my mother's death. (Quoted by Illingworth & Illingworth, 1969, p. 7)

[Anonymous No.22060360]

>>22058859
---- Solaria ----
421
Sensorium Flagship


Half of the errands I run are trivial
in the same way an orange Supertunia

Reminds me of the fertile version purloined
From a lab about 40 years ago, since stamped out

With rather more bureaucratic trouble than it's worth, to the point
I itch to compare chromoplast genomes

For a little discreet trickery.

Too often breakfast makes me feel
Supine as an iguana going through the motions

Of digesting seaweed, everything but the gut shut down
Yet I still stopped by that exhausting antique store

For something cheap but strange, surprising
To a too experienced retailer's eye

And found it: A set of perfectly intact irridescent cocktail glasses
Frothy in real life look as 20s film silliness, except in color

Stereo, of unknown provenance but as doubtless
The work of one guy who drove a shop bankrupt pursuing

That ridiculous, ideal effect that doesn't go with anything but itself
And the mirror tray with glass rod frame they paired it with,

A metaphor of bubble economies made using now forgotten chemistry
Plus another factor, the eye for superlatives, indifferent

To argument, frosty in Borromini's way,
Sybaritic with place and chaste

With persons one can't relax completely near
As into angelic music playing

From who knows where.

I sometimes wonder when driving past these farmsteads, fortunate as remote,
in conditions that suit me best, the sky

A mountain blue, the sun diamond notwithstanding the approach of afternoon,
How casually they sense the rate I go, somnolent 60,

Noticeably 70, an occasional 80. and when
All has just the right look and feel, an impunitive 90.

I imagine that most of them laugh a little when that happens
Since it hardly makes a difference by sound

But suggests a sight seldom seen,
Nothing like the game of screens, too alien,

Forever out of fashion as archives
And boys with memory

Reliable beyond belief, comptemptuous of all hearsay.

[Anonymous No.22060424]

It's hard work being a self-diagnosed schizotypal.

[Anonymous No.22060483]

>>22060185
Criticism hurts me bad.
I might stare into the mirror for long periods of time, 'miring my features and being depressed about any flaw (even minor ones).
But mostly: I have almost zero motivation of my own. What I care about most is how other people perceive me, so although I feel like shit and don't act towards my own motives, I just try to look good in the eyes of others, no matter what it takes.
As a result, many of the people around me seem to think I'm cool, but it makes intimate relationships impossible, as the partner would know my countless flaws, which I just can't bear.
Btw, I sometimes lie about having relationships (even current ones) just to not sound like an incel loser.
It¨s a pretty deep pit I dug myself into, actually.

[Anonymous No.22060495]

>>22058947
Pray

[Anonymous No.22060514]

>>22058859
---- Solaria ----
The Arrow Of Time

In the view from my bedrooms
A tall cottonwood stand is defining a shadow

Across an almost kilometer length of lawn, Sharp and elegant
From the perspective, weirdly thrilling

And serene, the huge leaves quaking, glittering without perturbing the line
While the scent of a lilac filtered for it drifts indoors.

Winters here are anything but Christmasy though June does it
One better once the winds wind down near the ground

While racing at heights invisible to the naked eye.

Look long enough at cubist paintings, and they all remind you of favelas.

[Anonymous No.22060592]

Once upon a time, there was a young girl of some twenty years of age named Mary. Mary had a peculiar fascination with images of "pretty girls" dressed in short skirts that showed off their knickers, which she often pictured as being pressed directly against various objects like chairs or benches. The sight of these images aroused something within her, and she found herself drawn to them again and again.

One day, Mary decided to put her curiosity to the test by going and exploring the sights and sounds of her city. As she walked through the streets, she kept an eye out for any opportunity to see and sniff out as it were those images and ideas that most caught her fancy. Sure enough, she came across several scenes where women were sitting on benches in short skirts, with their knickered behinds seemingly pressed directly against the surface they were sitting on.

Mary couldn't resist the urge to get closer, but instead of simply admiring from afar, she devised a plan. Whenever one of these women stood up from the bench, leaving behind an "imprint" of the heat of her knickered bottom on its surface, Mary would quicken her pace and arrive at the spot just moments later. With great care, she would lift her own skirt and place it precisely where the other woman's derriere had been, allowing her knickered buttocks to press firmly against the same spot. It felt both naughty and exhilarating all at once, and she relished in the sensation of experiencing someone else's physical presence even after they had gone.

Over time, Mary began to explore new ways to indulge in her unique desires, always seeking out opportunities to connect with others in unexpected ways. Her encounters may have seemed strange or even taboo to others, but to her, they represented a form of intimacy that brought joy and excitement to her life. Whether she was pressing her bottom against a warm seat while lifting her skirt to make sure it didn't dampen the full experience, Mary embraced her true self and found fulfillment in her own way.

[Anonymous No.22060654]

>>22060592
>unique desires

[Anonymous No.22060661]

>>22060483
Criticism hurts everyone man. Some people are just better at taking it than others, some get more defensive or cope differently. It all depends

But I don't think you should be quick to label yourself a narcissist or anything like that

[Anonymous No.22060680]

I think i fucked up by making a somewhat sexual comment to my crush at work the other day

[Anonymous No.22060709]

I wish I made different choices in my life, not better just different.

[Anonymous No.22060715]

>>22059733
read White Nights

[Anonymous No.22060725]

>>22058859
I have something going on with a Ukrainian girl 15 years younger than me who can’t speak English(she’s 19). Even though we can’t talk to each other it’s working to some degree. It’s interesting having to gesture for everything

[Anonymous No.22060726]

>>22059451
No. You probably admire communism not because of ideology not because of its power. Actual communism is progressive, which is to say destructive of all social norms, which is where it gets its power from anyway. Anyone who has ever been infatuated by it cannot be “trad,” no matter how reformed.

[Anonymous No.22060731]

>>22058859
I AM THE RAGE OF A THOUSAND GENERATIONS

[Anonymous No.22060734]

>>22060715
Thanks, I will. Any particular translation you recommend? I've heard Garnett's is not great.

[Anonymous No.22060757]

>>22060483
For me it depends on what the criticism is about. I am frail, charming, good looking, but insubstantial. I don't even have the stamina for hard intellectual work. I've lived most of my life on a certain combination of background fortune and wit bordering on a confidence trickster's I always feel a little like a fake who lives far better than he warrants, with one exception: Just like my father, when management or any kind of authority is full of shit, I'll mock them to their face and get away with it almost every time. That is to say, I sound wonderful, but look ridiculous to most men and women. There's even a recording of me from when I was about 11, and I sound in it like a sheltered choir-boy with lovely manners.

[Anonymous No.22060765]

Sometimes I feel like I came to reading too late to ever write anything particularly good.

[Anonymous No.22060799]

I've sent out around 5 fantasy short stories to various sites, and I've yet to have any be accepted for publishing. I know 5 isn't a lot, but the first three were upwards of ten thousand words each, and it was just crushing putting so much effort into characters and worlds just to have to not do anything with them.

How do I get over the rejection? I think another issue I have is that once a story gets rejected so many times, I just have to shelve it and never to anything with it. There are only so many websites you know?

[Anonymous No.22060827]

I am a
>Pessimistic
>Atheist
>Materialist
>Hard-determinist
>Antinatalist
>Hedonist
What are your -isms?

[Anonymous No.22060840]

People largely enjoy things I find repulsive and I'm keeping silent more and more often because I'd only have negative things to say. Imagine talking about food and everyone just tells you how great shit-coated cockroackes are and you have to nod along because you can only say "I dislike this" so many times before you come across as abrasive. I find people 5 years younger less relatable than my 80 years old neighbours, with whom I can have OK conversations. I feel so nervous when I think about this. It's not that I'm depressed and I've "lost interest", I actively hate most of the culture that 99.9% of people are enthusiastically embracing.

[Anonymous No.22060941]

>>22060765
How old are you, and what is your nature? I'm rather neotenous, and even at 24 felt rather alienated by, or baffled by, most everything in canonical literature and art. Hardly any of it seemed to concern me, though by then I was on easy terms with stellar evolution and heavy industries. I remember going regularly to a big municipal library and sometimes leafing through volumes of French Fantastic Neoclassicism and certain verses of Dante's Paradiso, more or less as a young botanist looks upon fields with rather too much in them to do without expertise. To some degree the American perspective on European culture remains like that. .

[Anonymous No.22060988]

>>22060941
I’m 29. I can’t say I ever felt baffled. I was just disinterested. I fell deep into literature was maybe 26, or possibly 27. It’s felt like living in a big mansion and finding a room I’ve always known was there but never spent much time and never really got familiar with. It turned out to be the best room in the house. So it didn’t baffle me. I just never really considered it until I did. I am American as well. I very much grew up in a household that didn’t do much reading and didn’t consider reading a worthwhile thing. I went to public high school and public university, where I had a few good literature teachers that encouraged me to take up literature, but I never quite did. I came to it mostly as a way to assuage boredom and depression. I remember really liking a few of the assigned readings in school, but never going any deeper than that. I think I had to put away video games and my love for visual art first. What is my nature? I’m not sure what sort of answer you’re looking for there so I’m not sure if I’ve answered.

[Anonymous No.22060991]

I spend a considerable amount of my day thinking about my death. For the vast majority of my life my thoughts have been centered on death. My death, the deaths of my loved ones, the death of everything that lives, the death of the universe.
And up until very recently, my own suicide. I spend a lot of time thinking on how I'll end it, when.

When life begins feeling absurd, when the unfairness of the world becomes exhausting, when the prospect of pain becomes too much to bear I can always look into the horizon and see the onsetting darkness slowly approaching and enveloping everything that is and will ever be.

I find comfort in the idea of disappearing forever, of breaking away from time and turning everything to dust once I close my eyes and never open them again. No matter how bad things get, no matter how much this body and this species gets beaten to shit and tortured there's always an end to it.

I can feel myself slowly drifting away from everything around me, growing distant and cold emotionally to the world around me.

All of my life I've been a puppet, a slave, to forces that I could barely understand but that shaped me out of the clay of this world. They made me and then enslaved me, but now I know better.

We all gotta go sometime, I tell myself, that's how it all ends, in tears. What point is there in telling oneself otherwise?

I don't know what it will be like when they tell me I have cancer, when I wake up to the loneliest day of my life, when the bombs begin flying, but I like to think that I will finally be free. For a few precious hours I will be free from everything that ties me to life and that keeps me seated rotting away in this god damned chair.

I am now determined to end my own life as the one act of absolute freedom nothing and no one can take away from me. I have given too much, I have lived so little, but I will reclaim the one freedom they won't take away from me.

[Anonymous No.22060992]

>>22060840
>5 years younger
What exactly do they talk about?

I'm 26 and I feel I don't really talk to anyone nowadays besides using the internet

[sage No.22061011]

>>22060988
>What is my nature?
I think he is asking if you're introspective, or athletic, or creative, or highly social/antisocial, etc.

What are the best books you've read since your dive into literature? I'm searching for something but I don't know what.

[Anonymous No.22061016]

>>22060992
>What exactly do they talk about?
Inevitably media and I haven't consumed anything. Even if I find some agreement over something, e.g. they like music or books I like, it's such an empty connection. I don't listen to music anymore. Okay you have read that book. And? Every other aspect of human connection seems to be under lock and key, or worse, forgotten.

[Anonymous No.22061047]

>>22060827
Sadism
Autism
Hornyism
In no particular order.

[Anonymous No.22061053]

>>22060680
That shit you posted is why you will never fuck her. I dont like to shit on my fellow anons im just being real with you.

[Anonymous No.22061075]

the last 2 days, while listening to audiobooks before bed.. if i started to fall asleep, i'd hear a weird sound effect. the same one each time. i thought it was my headset or the book or something, but it was only when id start to fall asleep. just happened again. its super creepy

[Anonymous No.22061110]

>>22061011
I find that question hard to answer. I’m all of those things and none of those things. I can’t identify one great tendency of mine, unless maybe that tendency is just a lack of self-awareness and that’s the reason why. Lately, I’m really into Roman and Medieval Poetry. The Divine Comedy is probably the best book I’ve read. The best novel is probably The Scarlet Letter. Nathaniel Hawthorne is a very underrated story writer in my opinion. I’ve recently read some fantasy fiction as well.

[Anonymous No.22061111]

>>22061053
what did you see what i said in another thread? i did post about it on r9k, idk i'm a bit stoned. i just hope she doesn't get hr on me

[Anonymous No.22061117]

>>22061111
Checked. Relax anon she isnt going to report you to hr, women are complete pussies and avoid confrontation and conflict at all costs, but she will never give you even a crumb of pussy.

[Anonymous No.22061123]

>>22060483
I kind of suspected you were young.

A weak self image comes with the territory of youth and, I suppose, people of our similar disposition. I did the mirror staring thing too. I once hyperfixated on the way my hair parted, believing it was what made my face look so lopsided, and brushed it so aggressively over and over that I gave myself a bald spot. My daily mission was to come across as someone other than the pathetic, ugly wretch I was alone. The women interested in me were wrong and my friends were fools. I would also lie about past relationships. All to say: Brother I been there.

You aren't who you are alone. This is some pretty sophomoric bullshit, but half of you is who people think you are. The mask you wear to make people think you're cool is still you. People like the mask, people like you. Eventually you'll figure out where the equilibrium between your self-loathing and the gaze of others is. Personally I still have to ask friends after parties if everyone thinks I'm a drunk jack ass who never shuts the fuck up. I don't believe them when they say no, but if they were lying, I'd have stopped getting invited to parties years ago. So I can't be as bad as I think. Ya get me?

We only know who we are in relation to others. We present different permutations of ourself to the world, cobbled together pastiches of sincerity and fakery— things we are, want to be, think we are— and the world tells you you're wrong. Wave hits the rock. Hammer hits the metal. Reality slowly mashes you into a shape more resembling one between what you think you are and what others think you are. Hertz Donut.

You're not a fucking narcissist, you're just insecure. This shit will get beat out of you so long as you keep going outside and interacting with people.

Peace, me from the past. You stop coming here pretty soon but you come back 6 years later for some nostalgia and make this gay ass post.

[Anonymous No.22061129]

>>22061117
that makes me happy she wont report me but sad cause i did like her. oh well to be fair i'm completely socially retarded. i need to not make comments like that.

[Anonymous No.22061133]

I feel like I did everything I was supposed to do and none of it paid off. I’m no longer young and in a position where I’m decidedly worse off and more pathetic than the best of my peers.

[Anonymous No.22061140]

is it okay to rape young cocky women who try to incite a incel like reaction from you

[Anonymous No.22061145]

>>22061129
Just roll with the punches bro. There will be another and youll look back and wonder why you spent so much time obsessing over a basic thot.

[Anonymous No.22061150]

>>22061140
Its not rape if theyre obviouly trying to seduce you.
t. knower

[Anonymous No.22061158]

>>22061145
i know, i've even been telling myself i've been dumb for obsessing over one hoe, but i just meet so few women irl (and i don't pay dating apps and am a brad at best, so those are as usual crap), but that's a me problem i can try to fix i just need to get some money to go out

[Anonymous No.22061161]

>>22061150
i'm going to disfigure them as a lesson to other women

[Anonymous No.22061164]

>>22061158
One more piece of advice since youve mentioned that your circumstances prevent you from meeting women. Please never show a hoe love and dont give your heart to the first hoe that gives you attention. Im only saying this for your best interest and wellbeing. Other than that enjoy life anon.

[Anonymous No.22061176]

>>22060827
Hedonism, but with certain filters when it comes to decor and temperament: I hate noisy people and loud colors, except in flowers and comparably fine dress. Likewise I hate and fear cold or desolate places, except from the perspective of luxury transportation.

[Anonymous No.22061193]

Maybe I should just bite the bullet and go to law school

[Anonymous No.22061206]

>>22061164
very true i know i gotta stop those feelings, they just aren't helpful. thank you, you too anon.

[Anonymous No.22061208]

>>22061193
Bro why? Youre going to get fleeced for taking bullshit classes when in a just system you could just spend a quarter of that time cramming for the bar exam. And for what if you dont get recruited to a prestige firm youll be a discovery slave for at least two years. And thats for a top graduate.

[Anonymous No.22061213]

Been spendin' most their lives, livin' in the web troll's paradise.
Been hatin' most their lives, hatin' in the web troll's paradise.

[Anonymous No.22061235]

I think having no friends my entire life has been bad for my mental health

[Anonymous No.22061307]

>>22061193
It's a fine, even fun profession, if you can afford to go into it. Some of the jolliest, and kindest, people I've known are lawyers. Doctors run to much further extremes: I've met two who are perfect angels, and two l who are perfect monsters--one of whom made a troublesome wife--almost as bad as he is--completely and suddenly forever disappear along with her vehicle. Expect cruelty and rapaciousness from Pakistan and India, unless reviews suggest otherwise. Lawyers rarely come from Asiatic lands.

[Anonymous No.22061441]

>>22058859
---- Solaria ----
423
Idle Ecstasy

instrumental music is the extreme of art.

Wordless lyric possible only by conjuration of enormous industries,
Collaboration indistinguishable from the magic of theft

Beyond possible detection, as one hears
Thousand passerines or the gauze of billion bugs

Through the most August of windows
Over the course of a half century or so, while

The lights stay on, daylight forever
As you will, even her in her

Nightgown years, the cat that isn't feral,
Stars rhythmically occulted by January branches

And rides up towers where you know quakes can't take them down
For tens of thousands of years, the overall floating effect

York Minstrel suggests but never quite attains.

[Anonymous No.22061471]

Here's just an early taste of the educational and creative power of language models. In this example I model Guy Debord and Jean Baudrillard as "simulated metaphysically self-aware narrative entities" which I chose because their theories really jive with such a strange pseudo-existence. You can edit the prompt to bring whatever writers, philosophers, or anyone or anything else you want to come to life.

https://old.reddit.com/r/sorceryofthespectacle/comments/13nhya4/guy_debord_jean_baudrillard_and_the_simulated/

Another example: https://sharegpt.com/c/txUfYs7

[Anonymous No.22061496]

>>22061471
Nice, also nice way to foster even more tech addiction

[Anonymous No.22061504]

>>22061496
My plan is to transform tech addition into reading, writing, learning, and creative exploration addition, as the conversation describes. A cultivated love of learning is salvation.

[Anonymous No.22061540]

>>22061471
Baudrillard is a riot once in a while, but eerily without feeling unless treating the grotesque in a far more figurative manner. Seneca did so much more, two millennia earlier.

[Anonymous No.22061556]

>>22058859
As a NEET, how many pages of a novel should I be reading? outside of eating or food prep and working out?

I don't know why I'm only able to read like 1 or 2 chapters a day then spend 8 hrs on my phone

[Anonymous No.22061567]

DO NOT ever date a college educated western white woman. NEVER. ESPECIALLY not American women. They will 100% betray you and treat you with the kind of disrespect you'll never even imagine until you see it. If you are an INCEL or a HKV, be GLAD. The shit these women put you through after years of marriage is FAR WORSE than the pain you feel for not having one. I promise. Even a "trad" wife with a good family and who was raised with decent morals will absolutely leave you for NO REASON. For an IMAGINED future that doesn't even EXIST. Anons, hear me, all of you. Do NOT get married. Do NOT hate yourself for being without a woman. I am from a wealthy family with everything going for me including looks and charisma and I GOT BURNED. It can happy to anyone. I fucking WISH I was a KHV if it meant I don't have to feel this kind of pain. FUCK

[Anonymous No.22061574]

>>22061504
We're all addicted to tech in roughly the same sense that I'd last a week, maybe a month, after the Great Lakes Grid, predominantly nuclear hereabouts, went down. My point is to not take technology too much in the sense of media, pleasant as the addition of HD600s and digital hoards and such generally are.

[Anonymous No.22061594]

>>22061574
We've always been addicted to technology since our first ancestor learned that rock smash good and fire warm and light so keep fire.

[Anonymous No.22061604]

I’m a perfectionist and I never compromise whatever my vocation.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find the perfect wife according to my countless criteria.
I’ve ever been asked out by a very attractive, young Catholic woman, but I turned her down.
Am I selfish for denying the desires of others?
I don’t deserve or believe I am owed anything. It’s just a wish I have I can only hope is according God’s will.
If I am to be a father some day, it might have to be the priestly kind.

[Anonymous No.22061609]

>>22061604
even*

[Anonymous No.22061612]

>>22061567
I seriously hope you fucking kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.22061616]

>>22061567
Calm down, spergboy

[Anonymous No.22061626]

>>22061556
Between jobs I read The Picture Of Dorian Grey twice, during the same week. (I got around to it, and walked into a better one than I had before.) On a 10 day vacation I read the Frame translation of Montaigne out of sequence, for the 5th time. Never cared for novels on the whole, but like My Antonia about as much as Stevens did. I'm quite sure Johnson's The Idler and The Rambler are wildly underrated these days mostly for political reasons. For some reason I can't think of any Western Hemisphere writer I'd like to conjure from the grave, fully in the flesh, and meet, as much as Elizabeth Bishop. Writers are seldom lovable as people, but I'm quite sure she was. There are no requirements. Do as you will, and read only for pleasure.

[Anonymous No.22061634]

>>22061567
Why do I read so many cases of 4channer people being burned? Like, is it just me or there's a pattern here?

[Anonymous No.22061646]

>>22061594
Indeed, though these things come in degrees. Fabulous as we are a making tools--of instrumentality in general--I sometimes suspect Orcas are most intelligent species, if not necessarily the most conscious. As AI becomes a thing, the distinction may become a little more obvious.

[Anonymous No.22061660]

The less I read, the happier I am. Simple as.

[Anonymous No.22061677]

>>22061660
Weird. When I was 7 my dad gave me a book about the planets, and at 17 a big volume that involved everything from Very Long Baseline Radio Interferometry to the Viking Landers. That was in 1978. How can one not read even if literature, as such, isn't one's thing?

[Anonymous No.22061691]

>>22061567
Tbh as I got older, I realised that women overall just have this nature in them to want to control things. The problem is: although they can get control very easily, they more often than not aren't very responsible with it. Or they misuse it that it leads to destruction, most of the times without even meaning or intending to. Eg. Being accepting of things that are blatantly wrong to gain social favor, such as transgenderism and the covid vaccine

Seems to be why women are the more neurotic, anxiety ridden types. It all stems from wanting to control things, or not being able to control things. Once you come to this realisation you will notice this in basically ALL women in your life, from your coworkers, HR roasties, relatives, even your own mother and grandmother you love so much. Even if you ask them something that requires a simple yes or no, they will speak in tangents to control. Heck, what is makeup? Another thing they can use to control their appearance.

They all do it so some extent and just like that, can switch sides so easily to control the situation and keep life comfy for themselves if it becomes the social norm or to control others perception of them.

I think it's men's job to relieve them of this hell they live in. It's why despite what they say, they always want a man of higher status and more dominant than them. So they can finally relax and have them take the reigns/lead. If they don't trust the man they're with, they go into their control overdrive and they destroy their man and impose their nature on the kids which continues the cycle. You'll notice it in any failed or failing relationship, it almost always stems from the man not being strong enough to lead the relationship/family properly that the woman ended up taking over covertly and brought it to it's destruction.

[Anonymous No.22061695]

>>22061660
the more I fap the happier I am

[Anonymous No.22061698]

>>22061567
Notice how it's only women who hold it over others that they have a degree? Yet they could still be working the same Starbucks job and never worked in the industry they studied.

Why do they seem so proud of this fact?

[Anonymous No.22061719]

Are you the type to swing hard between callousness and overactive empathy with little in the way of a center?

[Anonymous No.22061722]

>>22061719
No.

[Anonymous No.22061727]

>>22061695
The more I take it for granted as a necessity, the happier I am, however much or little of it that entails. Horns come and go.

[Anonymous No.22061734]

>>22061634
>4channer people
go back, faggot

[Anonymous No.22061739]

>>22061691
If you mean all that, seek help. If you don't, find a somewhat nobler line of work.

[Anonymous No.22061852]

I had to kill a mouse today, and it really bothered me. Someone set up a mousetrap and it predictably caught a mouse... but didn't kill it. I could either just let it die over the course of days or kill it myself, so I took it outside and smacked it in the head with a heavy stick, crushing its skull. I know it's "just" a mouse, but I never wanted to see any violence again. Life is hard and ends quickly. I'm glad the critter didn't have to suffer, and I'm confident it was kinder to just end its suffering, but it still bothers me.

[Anonymous No.22061858]

>>22059252
Nicotine valium vicodin marijuana ecstasy and alcohol

[Anonymous No.22061876]

>>22059522
>I hate how drugs have become a mainstream thing over the years.
Almost every single culture on earth has managed to distill alcohol from whatever was available to them. Drinking alcohol is objectively drug use and we have been doing it for millennia.
You can clutch your pearls at it as freely as you'd like, but pretending like it is a new phenomenon is completely bonkers.
Likewise, pretending that all drug use will turn you stupid and ruin your life is equally stupid.
Maybe stop hating freedom so darn much?

[Anonymous No.22061886]

>>22058901
Cant you save like 5-10% of your paycheck in ETFs long-term , and rest you can just blow at extravagance / your hedonic lifestyle?

[Anonymous No.22061887]

>>22059598
birth control in the water supply makes them hit puberty at 8 and the wall at 19

[Anonymous No.22061894]

>>22059354
> Sartre's position on Israel
Elaborate.

[Anonymous No.22061914]

>>22061604
>I turned her down.
Why?

[Anonymous No.22061973]

>>22061914
Vaxxed.

[Anonymous No.22062053]

---- Solaria ----
423
Dawn

I've left the lights on all night such that it seems
Faraway, ethereal, like smooth

Lightning breaking overhead and allaround with a slight
Florid orange ring, almost narrows as a saccade.

By about 9 or 10 it will seem substantial,
Domineering, dye retina that purple one sees going indoors.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4-9ALbPQFo&list=RDGMEMWO-g6DgCWEqKlDtKbJA1Gw&index=5

[Anonymous No.22062137]

I realized the source of my distress and tge reason why i don’t particularly enjoy anything I put out into the world, be it intellectual endeavor or some silly trifle, was that i didn’t like myself. I seem to have lost that frame of reference that conditions one to tolerate their own presence. Is there such a thing as a soul dysphoria? Because I feel it. And there’s nothing critical that I should disapproved of. Nothing particularly heinous or vile. My own self repulses me. And I’m just sat marinating in the feeling because I can’t rationalize it. And I don’t even engage in a sensible approach to act on that revulsion, like blaming myself or taunting myself. No. It’s just my nerves being strung in a state of high alert because im fucking around myself. Doesn’t make sense.

[Anonymous No.22062150]

>>22058859
---- Solaria ----
424
Audion Of The Sky

Nothing in any ancien regime
Compares because they didn't have the time.

Nothing looks that gorgeous, so rare from any latitude.
The difference of degree in impression is remarkable from 5 to 10

Above the horizon, but I deem it richest at about 6.

[Anonymous No.22062160]

>>22062150
What are these?

[Anonymous No.22062161]

>>22061973
Idiot.

[Anonymous No.22062163]

>>22062137
Man, I can sympathize. When did it start for you? For me, it started as an adult so I hope I can get out of that mindset.

[Anonymous No.22062166]

>>22061556
You do know though. The phone is highly addictive. If you didn’t have it you’d read more.

[Anonymous No.22062171]

>>22061307
I don’t particularly want to go to law school, but I’ve sort of failed to enter a profession. I have a low paid job at the staff of my alma mater. The most obvious thing to do would be to go to graduate school and pursue better administration jobs or else a faculty position, which would’ve been a real profession, but I’m probably too old for that too and I’m not even sure I can get into graduate. There’s no one job that particularly interests me besides writing to be quite honest, but I’m old enough to where I have to do something.

[Anonymous No.22062175]

>>22061208
>>22062171
I don’t know what else to do quite frankly.

[Anonymous No.22062178]

>>22061973
Commendable.

[Anonymous No.22062191]

>>22062160
Loose reflections. Beyond that I can't say it in a nutshell of any kind. That's not my style.

[Anonymous No.22062249]

>>22062163
I think I’ve always had that, deep un conciliatory dissatisfaction with my own self. A healthy dose of self deception, cognitive dissonance, and readily accessible hedonic pursuits will throw you off the mark for a while. But I got it eventually. When I was younger i tied my worth wholly to academics. And the external validation i got from that was fulfilling. But the traces were there. I didn’t like my appearance or the gracelessness with which i moved. Now that the udder that sustained my fragile ego’s dried up, i’m forced to acknowledge that my sense of self is nonexistent. No. It’s there. I just don’t like it. So for instance, i could be well spoken and sociable. I could even be bright sometimes. But i still cringe away from myself for no reason. No reason at all.

[Anonymous No.22062268]

>>22062171
>There’s no one job that particularly interests me besides writing to be quite honest,
Except to pursue a tenured position as a philosophy professor, I don't know what to tell you, since I enjoy doing a lot of things, work and play, of which writing is just one. I suppose the best time I ever had at work was dishing with co-workers in luxury retail, and at play gardening and touring nightclubs. About half the volumes n my library are biographies of one sort or another.

[Anonymous No.22062294]

>>22058859
My wife sometimes gets mad at me and says I baby our daughter too much just because whenever our daughter is upset I hang out in her room and just lay there on her bed until she starts talking or I just sleep over there which seems to make her feel better the next day. Should I really be stopping that habit now? She's 17 now but it's just always something I've done

[Anonymous No.22062305]

>>22062294
>She's 17 now
Trolling or not, go on as usual.

[Anonymous No.22062334]

I so desperately want to stop being miserable and depressed, but I’ve been this way for so long I worry it’s part of who I am now.

[Anonymous No.22062341]

>>22062249
Yeah. For me, a lot of my problems started when I started struggling in university. I think I might’ve been able to just get past that if I got a normal job, but I actually ended up working for a university so my education always mattered quite a lot.

[Anonymous No.22062344]

>>22062268
I enjoyed working in agriculture when I was younger, but that’s not exactly a feasible career. I’m in my 30s already now. Perhaps I should just give up on the idea of a good career.

[Anonymous No.22062359]

>>22062294
Keep going, I'm almost there.

[Anonymous No.22062405]

Books about enjoying life again? I’ve been steeped in pessimism for years.

[Anonymous No.22062430]

Feeling bad about my career is one of the biggest sources of stress I have.

[Anonymous No.22062433]

Long ago, a girl told me "you are my hero". I always thought I was a cringe loser. Heroes aren't supposed to kill themselves. I think about that sentence a lot. It's more than "I love you". It's unbelievable when someone tells you that.

[Anonymous No.22062456]

A big regret of mine is not joining the army as soon I became an adult. Maybe I can only say that because I became who became and if I had done that, I wouldn’t have become who I became, but I still can’t help but feel that things would’ve been a lot better for me if I had. I would’ve gotten a better education, probably a better job. I would’ve been able to enter politics if I wanted to. I would’ve gotten some credibility with publishers. Things would’ve just been better in general.

[Anonymous No.22062464]

>>22061612
I want to anon so bad it’s unreal but I can’t hurt my family like that
>>22061691
I think it was that she couldn’t get control and wanted it. But there is truth in what you said. She’s choosing to do wrong things for either her own immediate desires and/or because the internet said it was okay. But she at least takes responsibility for it. Most women would wrap themselves in a coat of self-delusion and excuses.

[Anonymous No.22062470]

Live your life in accordance with the I Spy books.

[Anonymous No.22062508]

Women LITERALLY owe me sex.

[Anonymous No.22062525]

>>22061858
cocaiiiiinnne

[Anonymous No.22062540]

>>22059598
>social media
there you have it

[Anonymous No.22062565]

>>22059598
They're in their prime age, wearing 3" of makeup and dress like whores

[Anonymous No.22062598]

Samantha, with her ethereal beauty and biracial heritage that lent an air of mystery to her appearance, found herself increasingly plagued by a sinister presence hidden in the shadows of her home. For several consecutive evenings, she could not help but notice a series of distressing noises emanating from the depths of the basement below her ground-floor bedroom.

At first, the sounds seemed almost indiscernible, little more than faint whispers echoing through the walls. As time went on, however, they grew more pronounced, taking on a sickening, squelching quality that sent chills down her spine. Samantha, desperate to put an end to these unsettling occurrences, resolved to confront whatever malevolence lurked beneath her residence.

With trembling hands, she switched on the overhead lights and descended the creaky wooden steps leading to the subterranean realm below. Her heart racing, she gripped a small flashlight tightly, prepared to face whatever horrors might await her. Upon reaching the bottom of the staircase, she cast her beam of light across the damp, musty space, revealing row upon row of dusty crates and forgotten tools scattered haphazardly about the room. Nothing seemed amiss...at least, nothing immediately apparent.

But just as she prepared to turn around and leave, the sound returned, louder than ever before. This time there was no mistaking its source; it came from a small alcove tucked away in the far corner of the cellar. With newfound determination, Samantha strode purposefully toward the noise, her pulse quickening with each step.

As she drew closer, she noticed something odd about the doorway leading into the niche: it seemed strangely stuck. Despite her best efforts to pry it open, it remained stubbornly fixed in place. Frustrated yet undeterred, she applied greater force, straining against the wood with all her strength. At last, it gave way with a loud crack, sending splinters flying in all directions.

And there, nestled deep within the alcove, she beheld the source of her terror - a loathsome arachnid unlike any she had ever seen. It was a massive black widow spider, at least eight inches across, its bulbous abdomen seemingly swollen beyond capacity. The creature reared up on its hindmost pair of legs, baring its gleaming chelicerae in warning, and began to hiss at her through twin slits in its carapace.


Samantha felt her courage falter at the sight, but knew she couldn't afford to show weakness. Summoning what bravery she could muster, she brandished the flashlight like a weapon and took a menacing step forward. Instantly, the spider sprang into motion, dashing along the wall in a blur of movement and disappearing into a narrow crack in the stonework.

[Anonymous No.22062604]

>>22062598
[Continued]

It wasn't until she reached the top landing that she felt the sharp sting of venom injected directly into her veins, accompanied by a hideous crunching sensation from somewhere inside her pelvis. All coherent thought fled as agony coursed through her entire being, reducing her to a whimpering heap on the floor.

The pain subsided gradually over the next few minutes, leaving her feeling drained and disoriented. Shakily, she pushed herself upright and struggled to stand, only to find her balance gone and her limbs quivering like jelly. Something was terribly wrong, she knew, but couldn't quite grasp the full extent of the horror yet to come.

Slowly, numbly, she stumbled toward her bedroom, propelled less by conscious intention than blind instinct. The world swam and blurred around her as she collapsed onto her mattress, feeling the soft fabric of the sheets grow harder and rougher beneath her fingers. Panicked confusion gave way to shocked comprehension as she looked down and saw that her lower half had fused seamlessly with the spider's abdomen, transforming her legs into thick, segmented appendages covered in chitinous plates.

A sickening squelch filled the room as she wiggled her new limbs experimentally, her sense of touch now distorted and alien. But worse still was the bulge growing within her belly, a grotesque sac pulsing with life as it expanded ever larger. Horror dawned on her as she understood that her reproductive organs had been hijacked, turned into some kind of revolting egg-laying chamber for the parasitic creature. Tears streaming down her face, she thrashed against the wall, desperate to escape this unthinkable fate but unable to move or even speak coherently through the terror and disorientation gripping her mind. And yet, amidst the chaos, a strange sense of clarity began to emerge. She felt the spider's consciousness merge with her own, its ancient knowledge seeping into her mind like a poison.

The bulge growing within her belly was not just an egg-laying chamber for the creature, but a gateway for unspeakable horrors that would bring about the end of all things. Samantha knew this now, with a certainty that transcended any rational explanation.

As she thrashed against the wall, Samantha realized that she was no longer human. She was a vessel for the malevolent spirit that had taken hold of her. Her identity was erased by the vile intruder nesting inside her flesh.

And as the world around her dissolved into madness and chaos, she welcomed the sweet release of oblivion. All that remained was the spider, its wicked intelligence guiding her body toward some unfathomable purpose.

Days passed, then weeks, as Samantha's transformation advanced to its final, grotesque stages. The once-beautiful woman was now an abomination, a melding of arachnid and human flesh that defied all logic and reason. And yet, in some twisted way, she found a measure of peace amidst the horror.

[Anonymous No.22062609]

>>22062604
[Continued]

For the first time in her life, Samantha felt truly alive. She no longer cared about the opinions or judgments of others; all that mattered was the dark power coursing through her veins. She embraced her new form, reveling in the sensation of her spider-like limbs skittering across the floor.

And when the final moment came, when the veil between worlds was torn asunder and the demonic forces beyond poured forth into our reality, Samantha was ready. With a fierce hiss, she sprang into action, leading the charge against humanity itself.

For Samantha was no longer a victim, but a queen - a queen of spiders, ruling over a new world order with ruthless efficiency and unbridled glee. And in the end, none could stand against her terrible might.

[Anonymous No.22062683]

Stop complaining, just take it.

[Anonymous No.22062786]

Sometimes I worry that I was creative and adventurous when I was young but that I have squeezed those out of me my forcing myself into education and office work.

[Anonymous No.22062832]

I can’t be the only writer, and frankly person, who feels it a burden to have been born and raised American.

[Anonymous No.22062881]

>>22059561
This except also when I'm not horny. I'm evil 24/7.

[Anonymous No.22062893]

reading Stoner made me feel like

[Anonymous No.22062905]

>>22062893
why?

[Anonymous No.22062909]

Yep, just a normal boring day. Cooking dinner same as always annnnd I'm rehearsing a eulogy for my perfectly healthy father.

[Anonymous No.22062913]

>>22062905
cuz that limping nigga Lomax

[Anonymous No.22062915]

I feel like having made it to my thirtieth year having had a basically boring and unremarkable life and no literary success is practically a death sentence as a poet and novelist.

[Anonymous No.22062916]

>>22061695
>>22061660
the less i interact with people the happier i am

[Anonymous No.22062940]

>>22062905
cuz edith is a whore, lomax is a faggot, walker is arrogant imbecile and willy's parents are retards. Everyone, besides Finch, is hostile against poor Willy, and when he for the first time in 40 years of existence he experiences love, some jealous and stupid faggots want to destroy him for no fucking reason.
I hate to think that there are people leaving this nightmare rn

[Anonymous No.22062941]

>>22062940
living*

[Anonymous No.22063101]

>>22062915
>practically a death sentence as a poet
>not writing to the muses about everything regardless of reward, effort, accolades or cost
Ngmi

[Anonymous No.22063110]

Lights and sounds in front of your face. Figures and movement. Call and response. Reciprocal motion. Exploded diagram of a human, flatpack assembly, I swear I have all the parts but it doesn't fit together. I fucking hate the Swedish, she won't suck on my $1 hot dog despite following the instruction manual.

[Anonymous No.22063114]

>>22063101
Muses don’t just inspire them. They motivate them. If nothings ever happened, you’re probably not inspired. The only poet who was ever inspired by the muses and not animated to act was Virgil. Moreover, it seems a bit silly to write lyrics about Greek goddesses and Nordic gods from American soil.

[Anonymous No.22063223]

Maybe I should try to get an investment banking job again. At least that pays well and is sort of interesting…

[Anonymous No.22063229]

A big regret of mine is not finding my passion early and studying that at university. That’s the shitty thing about going to university while you’re young. If you don’t know what you want to do, you’re really just rolling the dice. The specialization system for undergraduates is particularly retarded. What eighteen year old knows what subject they want to dedicate their life to?

[Anonymous No.22063274]

>pray to God
>feel nothing
>pray to Maria
>feel much better
I think it's my mommy issues, but whatever works is fine.
Hollebecq wrote something about this in Submission

[Anonymous No.22063286]

>>22058859
I love war, and I love peace.
I love cock, and I love roast beef.

[Anonymous No.22063305]

Think I might not be able to have children.
Don’t know yet how exactly I’ll cope, but it isn’t gonna be good.

[Anonymous No.22063396]

I need to stop sleeping in so late. I'm wasting so much of my day

[Anonymous No.22063403]

>>22063305
raise animals kek

[Anonymous No.22063408]

>>22063396
then use the night less distraction

[Anonymous No.22063419]

>>22063403
What would be the point? I’m not interested in having kids because I have love and affection to share, I’m trying to do the right thing by my wife and my family. So basically if I’ve fucked this up then it’s pretty much over for me. Becoming a homeless fentanyl addict would be the most optimal decision at that point.

[Anonymous No.22063437]

>>22063419
just ask your brother to bang your wife if you're impotent or ask him to produce a few more for you

[Anonymous No.22063485]

How the FUCK do you come up with a good title?

[Anonymous No.22063571]

>>22063408
Night is not time for doing things

[Anonymous No.22063573]

Been dieting and exercising for a month now. I lost 3 pounds.

[Anonymous No.22063601]

All I want is someone to lead me around on a leash and call me a bitch

[Anonymous No.22063611]

I’m trans

[Anonymous No.22063634]

>>22063601
get a job?

[Anonymous No.22063687]

>>22063571
whatever you say wagie

[Anonymous No.22063697]

really want to beat someone up

[Anonymous No.22063702]

>>22058859
List of works mentioned by name in the overture

>Genevieve de Brabant - fable
>Bluebeard- fable
>Genesis - tale of Adam and Eve
>The Aeneid
>Ali Baba
>Figaro - newspaper
>Pascal’s Pensees

The Figaro is mentioned to insult it and the reference to the Aeneid is to say Léonie or whoever would be unfamiliar with it despite her pretensions of being learned. She would only be familiar with something like Ali Baba from seeing it on their gaudy plates and china.

[Anonymous No.22063709]

>>22063687
I work the night shift. All the things I need to do or want to do have to be done durinf the day, not only on account of my schedule but also on account of the fact that everything closes and shuts down at night.

[Anonymous No.22063750]

I talked to a woman

[Anonymous No.22063789]

>>22063750
chad

[Anonymous No.22063818]

I wish I had a cute 10-year-old daughter who I could hug.

[Anonymous No.22063827]

>>22063818
So did Henry Darger

[Anonymous No.22063847]

>>22058947
This >>22060495
But even then you'll have to occasionally power through fomo.

[Anonymous No.22063878]

>>22063827
It's common to want a daughter like I do. It's not a wish held only by abnormal people.

[Anonymous No.22063927]

Just found out my girlfriend used to work at a kissing facility. Kill me.

[Anonymous No.22063943]

>>22063878
I wanted to raise a family too. I wanted the whole thing though. A son or daughter, if not both and then some, wouldn’t matter.
Gotta find some of the women that would have me first though… that’s hard to do. Good luck, you.

[Anonymous No.22063978]

>>22063750
why lol

[Anonymous No.22063982]

>>22063943
whenever you have a son and a daughter the son always ends up being some kinda queer or a sissy
what you need is two sons who beat each other up

[Anonymous No.22063989]

i'm stupid lonely and useless

[Anonymous No.22064011]

>>22063978
I was forced to share the backseat of a car on a 2 hour trip, I had fun
>>22063978
>girlfriend worked at the rimjob store
wish I knew sooner

[Anonymous No.22064039]

What are some happy pills that will make sad voice go away?

[Anonymous No.22064100]

I hate being in love with someone I cant have. Im possessive as fuck and having to pretend I like her platonically is killing me. My chest is tight and my heart feels like its holding its breath. Nothing gives me respite, not the gym, getting drunk, nothing. I need a book rec to help me sort out these feelings.

[Anonymous No.22064105]

>>22064100
Sun Also Rises

[Anonymous No.22064116]

I wonder if any other late millenials regret their neon graphic tee and talk like they’re Mac Miller phase.

[Anonymous No.22064129]

>>22059483
I'm sober now and this legit made me laugh real hard, thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.22064131]

>>22064039
Opiates. There is a price to pay though

[Anonymous No.22064132]

>percentage of atheists quadrupled in the past 20 years
?

[Anonymous No.22064133]

How much of Werner Herzog's persona is an act?

I got to thinking about that when I read this letter, he supposedly wrote to his housekeeper, and I cannot tell if it is real or satire:

Rosalina. Woman.

You constantly revile me with your singular lack of vision. Be aware, there is an essential truth and beauty in all things. From the death throes of a speared gazelle to the damaged smile of a freeway homeless. But that does not mean that the invisibility of something implies its lack of being. Though simpleton babies foolishly believe the person before them vanishes when they cover their eyes during a hateful game of peek-a-boo, this is a fallacy. And so it is that the unseen dusty build up that accumulates behind the DVD shelves in the rumpus room exists also. This is unacceptable.

I will tell you this Rosalina, not as a taunt or a threat but as an evocation of joy. The joy of nothingness, the joy of the real. I want you to be real in everything you do. If you cannot be real, then a semblance of reality must be maintained. A real semblance of the fake real, or “real”. I have conquered volcanoes and visited the bitter depths of the earth’s oceans. Nothing I have witnessed, from lava to crustacean, assailed me liked the caked debris haunting that small plastic soap hammock in the smaller of the bathrooms. Nausea is not a sufficient word. In this regard, you are not being real.

Now we must turn to the horrors of nature. I am afraid this is inevitable. Nature is not something to be coddled and accepted and held to your bosom like a wounded snake. Tell me, what was there before you were born? What do you remember? That is nature. Nature is a void. An emptiness. A vacuum. And speaking of vacuum, I am not sure you’re using the retractable nozzle correctly or applying the ‘full weft’ setting when attending to the lush carpets of the den. I found some dander there.

I have only listened to two songs in my entire life. One was an aria by Wagner that I played compulsively from the ages of 19 to 27 at least 60 times a day until the local townsfolk drove me from my dwelling using rudimentary pitchforks and blazing torches. The other was Dido. Both appalled me to the point of paralysis. Every quaver was like a brickbat against my soul. Music is futile and malicious. So please, if you require entertainment while organizing the recycling, refrain from the ‘pop radio’ I was affronted by recently. May I recommend the recitation of some sharp verse. Perhaps by Goethe. Or Schiller. Or Shel Silverstein at a push.

The situation regarding spoons remains unchanged. If I see one, I will kill it.

That is all. Do not fail to think that you are not the finest woman I have ever met. You are. And I am including on this list my mother and the wife of Brad Dourif (the second wife, not the one with the lip thing). Thank you for listening and sorry if parts of this note were smudged. I have been weeping.

Your money is under the guillotine.

Herzog.

[Anonymous No.22064148]

>>22064100
>I hate being in love with someone I cant have
Just wait until she turns 18 dude

[Anonymous No.22064155]

>>22064039
dopamine

[Anonymous No.22064156]

>>22064131
Not really with kratom or something as weak as codeine. I can go months with those an then just have two days of withdrawals so mild I hardly notice them when I take a break, and the breaks are easy to take.
The opium poppy is the strongest proof of God's love for us, no doubt.

[Anonymous No.22064181]

>>22064156
Kratom isn’t even an opioid. Codeine is weak. You need oxycodone or dope

[Anonymous No.22064202]

There are people who identify words by their shape instead of sounding it out.

[Anonymous No.22064203]

>>22064039
Vitamin D3 + K2

[Anonymous No.22064217]

sthu the fuck up??

[Anonymous No.22064227]

next >>22064220

[Anonymous No.22064411]

>>22064133
I think he just enjoys playing. Though I wonder what Wagner 'aria' he had in mind.

[Anonymous No.22065106]

How do you stop worrying ?
I really can't stand it anymore. Everytime I fix the problems I think I have there's always more I worry about, it never goes away. Then at one point when I can't take it anymore my heart just starts beating faster and faster and I feel so overwhelmed. I'm sick of this ;-; help

[Anonymous No.22065671]

>>22065106
trust god, that's the only way