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/lit/ - Literature

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[ERROR] No.2196765 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: /lit/ divulges the first line of that novel they've been working on, you try to guess what it's about.

Mine: "Gays are great, so she says, cigarette thrust forward like a bayonet."

>> No.2196771

>someone who browses 4chan
>writing a book

Yeah, I bet that's the only line too.

>> No.2196773

>>2196765
Optical Physics.

"I witnessed the aa growing by the side of the Aa, while aa was flowing down the volcanoside."

>> No.2196775

The opium den used to be a church.

>> No.2196776

I'll do you one better: first three lines!

"You would make a make with Satan for me?!"

"Sure babe."

"Oh Tony!"

>> No.2196777

>>2196771
Mine's to a short story that I wrote for class. I'm still in school, I don't need to be fucking around with novel-length shit, I'm not getting paid for it yet.

>> No.2196786

>>2196777
>not getting paid for it yet.
try ever, pal

>> No.2196789

>>2196786
Thanks for contributing.

>> No.2196796

First line, though it's not evident until the second paragraph what's up:

She was a work of art, lying with a delicate precision.

>> No.2196798

>>2196775
great first sentence. I would read the shit out of the next few pages

>> No.2196818 [DELETED] 
File: 11 KB, 211x257, D. We want D.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

"Its was a dark and stormy night..."

Guess the genre and I'll tell you the basic plot

>> No.2196824
File: 11 KB, 211x257, D. We want D.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

Guess the genre and I'll tell you the basic plot

>> No.2196825

>>2196824
Renaissance court comedy

>> No.2196826

"'Twas a difficult choice to leave my village."

>> No.2196831

The sun had hit the Western sky and illuminated the black pillars of smoke coming from beyond the big hill.

>> No.2196837

From>>2196831
"As I set out over the foothills, I cast my gaze toward the village once more, mentally noting the Sun's rays dancing upon the surface of Lake Thun". (The book starts year 1429)

>> No.2196839

>>2196831

Your novel is about your quest to become Hemingway and/or Cormac McCarthy all at once.

>> No.2196843

'I've only had the opportunity to pop a blister once,' said Batman on Gmail chat.

>> No.2196845

>>2196839
Hemingway. You nailed it.

>> No.2196847

"The tiles, they spin, Arabesque, their gentle whirling dervish mirroring that of the worlds', surely."

>> No.2196856

>>2196845

I guess that means you're succeeding.

Also, the following sentence is not the intro to a novel, but it's mine:
He held the loaded gun like an artifact from some civilization long forgotten - testing its weight, turning it over in his hands, exploring the cold surfaces of the metal with his fingers in search of its origin, purpose, value... to no avail.

>> No.2196862

This is an easy one:

"(placeholder name) wasn't entirely sure when his fall from glory had begun, but it was only when he woke up that morning in a slimy motel room, a ringing phone making his head throb, that he became fully aware of it."

>> No.2196867

>>2196862
A man deconstructs the spiraling path of his existential crisis and his failure to escape it through mindless revelry.

>> No.2196873

>>2196796
Either the twist is that she's dead, or it is a story about the turgid social scene of entitled upper class post-teenagers.

>> No.2196875

>>2196856
I mean, that's not necessarily the point, but he's one of my favorite authors. I'm writing this novel to try and cultivate my own style of prose more than anything. Be a little consistent with it.

>> No.2196883

For a very short while I used to go to bed very late.

>> No.2196885

>>2196775
All right, I'm hooked. What's it about?

>> No.2196889

>>2196856
A man takes another man's life and struggles with the morality of it
>>2196883
Either a vigilante, or a serial killer who murders prostitutes.

>> No.2196890

>>2196837
anyone?

>> No.2196891

Ernest hadn't traced a winter snail that sung though aisles warped about and about without an Ernest dime!

>> No.2196892

>>2196889
The first

>> No.2196896

>>2196837
Man leaves his family on a quest for a king...?

Ok, now do mine:
>>2196847
>>2196773

>> No.2196902

The Rangers had a homecoming in Harlem late last night, and the magic rat drove his slick machine over the Jersey State Line.

>> No.2196905

>>2196885
A hedonic god-king searching for isolation so he can spend the rest of eternity in pure bliss.

>> No.2196909

>>2196873
Correct! Death it is. I assumed without more, people would assume I was trying to be crafty and use "lie" to mean "not telling the truth".

>> No.2196917

>>2196847
>>2196773
To be honest they both seem to be like visions from acid trips. Apologies for not being able to lend more of an evaluation

>> No.2196922

The hill was begining to present itself across the horizon.

>> No.2196925

It's been about ten years since I lost my faith after clipping each of my fingernails too short, I'm fifty-eight years old now.

>> No.2196929

Some of these are quite bizarre openings.

>> No.2196940

>>2196917
Is that good or bad?
And maybe going to work for the Old Confederacy, if I remember my Swiss history correctly?

>> No.2196943

The naked woman sat atop the ice, and Richard Nixon gently strummed a sitar as she was pleasured by an early twentieth-century oil baron.

>> No.2196946

A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.

>> No.2196952
File: 8 KB, 259x194, ohyou.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2196946
Well, someone's been reading their DFW...

>> No.2196955
File: 46 KB, 232x267, 1320292044915.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

Over there on the mountains, right around on the river, we look at the horizon and in a single blink the a-bomb turned all of us into ashes.

>> No.2196956

>>2196940
Close. Young Swiss pikesman heading to Burgundy to take up a contract with the English, his true motive being that of personally capturing Joan of Arc as a heretic (he's also catholic, but believes she's either insane or possessed)
About your openings, there needs to be something the readers can easily latch onto before "falling down the rabbit's hole" of the visual complexity of the lines. They're good, just a bit off-kilter and abstract

>> No.2196958

>>2196929
A gynecologist working for doctors without borders struggles in a small village after an American cult which is obsessed with genital mutilation and cubist art rises to power.

>> No.2196964

>>2196929
年発表。多数のストーリーと（工学・化学・心理学・オカルト・神話・映画
・ドラッグなど）百科全書的な知識が織り合わされた長大な作品（原文約
35万語、日本語訳で約100万字）。20世紀後半の英語圏文学のなかで、もっと
も詳しく研究されている一冊である。

>> No.2196970

"Dr....Dr Mario?" Donkey Kong said. "After all these years...."

>> No.2196973

>>2196952
TP...trollin?

>> No.2196974

Now without deceit it is hardly too much to say he was looking grand, so fired smart, in much more than his usual health.

>> No.2196982

>>2196973
Yep. Not very hard, I must admit. It's late and I have a chemistry test to study for.

>> No.2196986

>>2196982
Wow!

>> No.2196988

>>2196986
Amazing but true.

>> No.2196994

nice castration anxiety op

>> No.2196996

I hope I die before I get sold.

>> No.2197011

>>2196765
Nice phallic symbolism and sexual confusion and tension, OP.

>> No.2197062

"I fucking loathe them. If they want to fuck with society, and ruin my life, then fine, but don't expect me to not fucking hate niggers!"

>> No.2197066

>>2197062
That's from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, fucker.

>> No.2197068

"It was my first kill, and I thought I was prepared."

>> No.2197073

They dressed me in white the day I was to kill a king.

>> No.2197078

>>2197073
They dressed me in white on the day I was to kill a king.

>> No.2197081

>>2197078
>>2197073
Retards

o n the day i was to kill a king, they dressed me in white.

>> No.2197087

>>2197081
On the day the king was to be kilt by me, they draped me in white, the killing colour, and that's the color I wore when I kilt that king, with a deadly knife that was sharp.

>> No.2197088

My semi-regular trips to the local Home Depot tend to be more eventful than they have any right to be.

>> No.2197092

>>2197088
since when do trips have rights faggot?

>> No.2197095

>>2197092
>>2197088
this isn't a fucking fifth grade essay on an event for your summer you just tell us what the fuck happened we don't need a god damn intro sentence
lol home depot was cuhrazy
at home depot i fuckin died
theref afgtot better improved iot f for you

>> No.2197097

>>2197088

ditch "semi-" and "the local" (dead weight) and i would read more

>> No.2197100

"He was born with the head of a Kuvasz."

Short story, not novel btw.

>> No.2197104
File: 113 KB, 600x800, Kuvasz_Prince_Juninho_Poster.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2197100
Gets into lawsuit with Zyrtec, then follows trajectory of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, but with a shootout at the end.

>> No.2197106

>>2197100
> Kuvasz
nobody knows what the fcuk that is why would you start a story with that
immediately oisntead of being sucked in, they're like
i wonder what the fcuk a Kuvasz is

>> No.2197108

>>2197104

Not where I was going, but now you're giving me ideas.

>> No.2197112

>>2197095
Well, someone's going for the Nobel this year.

>> No.2197115

>>2197112
qay to contribute to the thread worthless wfagot

>> No.2197116

>>2197115
>mfw

>> No.2197123

>This is translated from my mother tongue, so it might sound a bit weird (if it doesn't already).

"And thus", he began, "I'm telling you, the free fall of electrons in our nation and in the waters of a giant pool cannot be avoided and therefor all men liable to military service, without exception, are expected to report in for duty with me personally or one of the many beautiful stations in our country."

>That novel is kinda finished (still a bunch of pages to be digitalized), so here's the first sentence of an unfinished one:

"All day there will be certainties rolling away over me, and the last one will be a truth as well."

>(It's a thought one of the protagonists wakes up with.)

>> No.2197305
File: 68 KB, 500x388, 1301171546493.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2196955
>Nobody has guess mine
>mfw

>> No.2197449

>>2197305
The journey of a man's ashes that starts to fork into different stories as the wind blows.

>> No.2197450

I pull the rabbit from the hat, and spill it's guts across the floor.

>> No.2197452

There isn't, really, much left.

>> No.2197453

>>2196955
OVER DERE ON THA MONTAINS RIGHT ROUND THA CORNER ROUND THA RIVER WE R LOOKIN AT THE HORIZON AND THEN THA A-BOMB EXPLODED AND THEN FALLOUT HAPPENED LOL

>> No.2197457

It was down in Lousiana, just about a mile from Texarkana, in them old cotton fields back home.

>> No.2197460
File: 39 KB, 640x480, ccr4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2197457

Now what's going on in this thread...?

>> No.2197471

"Markus Zellers, also known as Mark, Big Mark, Big Mak, Mak, Sellers, Sellers with a Z, Big Z, Mahkus, and Markus, going in order of increasing familiarity with the man, was staked outside of Marzak's Donuts waiting for Achhunna, the Nepalese fuck who stiffed him on a half-o of purple yurp just last night.

>> No.2197477
File: 41 KB, 274x375, Y2Kdogg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2196765

Pic related

>> No.2197483

"They call me Mr. Tallyman..."


from Bananas: A Confessional

>> No.2197497

>>2197471
I think you meant "who'd"

>> No.2197500

"Oh yeah titties gimme some of them fine ass titties oh yeah babe you makin' my dick so hard," said Billy as his dick was made hard.

>> No.2197503

>>2197500
I'm sensing some deep Joycean influences.

>> No.2197520

>>2197503
Did someone say Joyce?

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am :delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was :the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your :fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out :through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an :arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and :a lot :of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives :one out :of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather :girlish noise :not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let :off in fun in a :school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

>> No.2197522

On the gravestone of freedom the words "This was for your own good" could be read.

>> No.2197868

BLIMP

>> No.2197877

Spectators filled up less than half of the music hall.

>> No.2197882

"Balls."

>> No.2197883

my dick was big and there was a lot of blood in my dick because of how big it wasw and i t was really hard so i am talking about a lot of blood here. "engorged"

>> No.2197885

Confucius say: Man on toilet is high on pot.

>> No.2197906

>>2197877
Gladiators.
>>2197882
Faulkner parody.
>>2197883
That's just from the OED, fucker.
>>2197885
Sounds like an amusing romp around medieval England.

"Their flag is badass. It consists of a Quaternion Eagle fighting a Welsh Dragon while an Iron Cross watches for laughs."

>> No.2197914

"I havent got a brain, only straw."

>> No.2197916

Retirement was boring.

>> No.2197917

how surprising that the tripfag's post are shit

>> No.2197940

>>2197917
>implying what I put up on /lit/ isn't my writeshit

>> No.2197943

"beat beat beat" yells the guy from xiu xiu(who sings like a bitch) and the genius writer 20 year old edg yand also world weary guy who was really cool and had a really hot girlfriend but broke up with her because she was shallow and materialistic and wears really cool clothes but not expensive because that's materialistiitic and also he is attending a mediocer state school but and he is a genius and has a dark past but didnt do any drugs because they are used b ty the cia to fund world terrorism thought to himself "bite is french for dick so it is like he is saying dick dic k dick in french" also "should i use the word diaspora more?"

>> No.2197944

>>2197940
>implying I give a shit about your weak excuses.

>> No.2197947

>>2197940
>Guys! Guys! I swear, it's not the *real* content!

>> No.2197952

"Most people still believe that a bullet travels in a straight line."

You will never guess.

>> No.2197953

"I am the king, and what the king says goes, and what I'm saying now, that is, what's going now, is that I am, in effect, in charge, and that I'm now saying and what's going (because of the aforementioned consequence of "saying"), is that there will be two horses to every man, and two men to every woman, and two horses to every child, who will also have three women apiece, to they will do as they want, and let it be known among the land that I do in fact take my eggs overeasy; tell the cooks, tell the gourmands, tell the foreigners, tell the dignitaries, for when I want to go over land, abroad, that is to say, I want my eggs consistently easy and consistently over that concurrently aforementioned, and when I wave goodbye for these, my home lands, I want to see every woman and child and man and horse happy, as happy can be, mathematically divided and even, as that is, of course, the happiest we can ever hope to strive for."

>> No.2197956

>>2197947
>>2197953
There's your real content.
Be amazed, be very amazed.

>> No.2197961

I amazed how every single tripfag post is shit.

>> No.2197965
File: 58 KB, 623x425, youarethis,motherfucker.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2197961
Pic related.

>> No.2197975

"and the crows shall feast upon the eyes of the slain," yelled byron roberts through the speakers of the fat teenager's 1992 honda civic license plate number 347ack as he ran over a crowd of nicaraguans.

>> No.2197985

The sun blistered my skin and I said ew as the blisters popped as my dad applied some ointment in the hotel room later and I looked up at him and said your not a nurse, and he said back to me with his mouth you dont no that and I said yeah I do, your just a loser accountant who couldnt get it up so he had to spring for expensive procedures and artificial jisplosions, witch is just fancy medical mumbojumbo for a baster up the rear end and then into moms belly so and then here I am and stop putting that ointment on it hurts.

>...Kafka-esque...universally acclaimed...a journey for all ages...New York Times best seller...

>> No.2197996

>>2197952
It's some detective novel right? Lawrence block or robert parker?

If not, please state it since I think I've read it.

>> No.2198005

>>2197996
It's actually from my own novel-in-the-making, but I won't exclude other authors came up with something similar already.

The novel will be about school shootings. Or rather the mindset of a person on the brink of executing a school shooting.

>> No.2198011

>>2198005
so, rage?

>> No.2198012

>>2198005
Fascinating.

>> No.2198023

>>2197965
>>2197906
>>2197985
I'm not sure this is /lit/ related........ because what of what i want to ask you. Are you scared? BTW it's me.

>> No.2198031

>>2198023
It's not, so I'm saging.
But nah, it's fine.
And if it is You, move your car, asshole. It's blocking my driveway.

>> No.2198034

>>2198011
Among other things, yes.

>> No.2198051

There's something strange about a man doing up his belt in public.

>> No.2198056

From little I sensed the colors of the stars a bit more. I saw them and remember, all nodding off towards the Sunday-noon tinge, over the room and still with no lights on. I saw how the stars pierced the skin of the windows with suspicion and how the freshly-sweated sun finally hid in a broad fence of horizontal chlorophyll.

>> No.2198063

>>2198034
I mean, it sounds like rage from stephen king.

>> No.2198065

>>2198063
Ah, I see.

But no. Not that I know.