Books that don't exist

[Anonymous No.21966287]

Anons give us titles of books that don't exist and the rest of us write what the plot of those books are. I'll start:
> Acid Reign
> Under the Blue Hand
> Brass Tax
> God's Banana Skin

[Anonymous No.21966334]

>>21966287
>> Acid Reign
Tom Morgan, a middle manager at a large media conglomorate finds out a terrible secret about his company. Not only are the stories fed to the public not true, they're intentionally contraditory and confused to produce a kind of schizophrenic confusion in the public mind to keep the systems of power from being questioned. Tom tries to stop this evil policy, but can he do it without engaging in it himself?
>> Under the Blue Hand
A coming of age novel about a roadtrip where three friends try to get away from their collective depression, caused by their sheltered life in the Oklahoma farming life. They move from town to town, but whether this can resolve their need to leave the land and their roots remains to be seen
>> Brass Tax
A parody of Franz Kafka's The Trail, where a clear cut case of tax avoidance by a rich banker is avoided in increasingly bizarre manners
>> God's Banana Skin
A druglord goes to South America, and tries to fix his home country, plagued by gang violence and corruption. He triesto do this by combining Pinochet style facism with Aztec theology

[Anonymous No.21966345]

>>21966334
Now, my turn:

>Anarcho-Dominionism: An Introduction
>Flesh Hole
>Confessions of an Auto-Plumber
>More Confessions of an Auto-Plumber (this book should have a plot that's completely unrelated to the previous book)
>Power Politics in the Realian Galaxy and its Consequences for the Market Forces on Sector 5.67 on Uranus

[Anonymous No.21966348]

>>21966287
Is that bukowski reprising his role of Bottom from A Midsummer Night's Dream

[Anonymous No.21966349]

Dreadlock Epaulettes

[Anonymous No.21966399]

>>21966287
> Acid Reign
Middle manager drug dealer carves out a piece of his own territory in the inner city, dealing with and dispatching competition along the way. Families house gets firebombed and he crashes one of the culprits gangs deals, where everyone is mortally wounded.
> Under the Blue Hand
Recount of a space colonist on the terraforming and settling of a hostile alien world.
> Brass Tax
(Going for the low-hanging fruit here) Steampunk styled story based *loosely* on The Gun Powder Plot.
> God's Banana Skin
A collection of "proofs" (or whatever religious scholars call them) of inconsistencies and contradictions within religious texts.

>Plodding Boots
>The Clock Struck One
>Halcyon
>Soft Glow

[Anonymous No.21966404]

>>21966345
>Flesh Hole
A native of the rainforest goes in search of his fellow tribesmen who have gone missing. He discovers a cult of renegade loggers who have been cut off from society and have been performing rituals to a dark god, taking their victims to a cave in a cliff of red clay from which emanates screams and the sound of machinery.
>>Confessions of an Auto-Plumber
An out of work PVC pipe installer reminisces about his final days of employment, and the violent clashes that took place between working class tradesmen and the corporations replacing them with AI powered automated tools. Includes certain chapters that are ostensibly written from the cold, analytical perspective of an automated, robot pipe installer, but clearly from the protagonists perception of what such a machine might think. Book ends with the protagonist contemplating adopting a neural implant in order to work again.
>More Confessions of an Auto-Plumber (this book should have a plot that's completely unrelated to the previous book)
Two businessmen on a work trip discuss the intricacies of the faucets they are meant to be selling. The whole story takes place in one night at a hotel bar where they are trying to impress two women who turn out to be transexuals.
>Power Politics in the Realian Galaxy and its Consequences for the Market Forces on Sector 5.67 on Uranus
Ridiculously abstruse manual that aims to simplify a topic that is inherently complex. Breaks down the various factors in discrete, manageable chapters but still fails to convey the full nuance of the subject and leaves glaring oversights in its attempt to distil too many complicated factors.

[Anonymous No.21966405]

>>21966399
>Families house
Family's house

[Anonymous No.21966412]

>>21966334
>A druglord goes to South America, and tries to fix his home country, plagued by gang violence and corruption. He triesto do this by combining Pinochet style facism with Aztec theology
This is a cool idea, anon. Could see it working as a film.

[Anonymous No.21966441]

>>21966399
>>Soft Glow
Magical realist recounting of events in Brazil where a junk salvager/thief comes into possession of radioactive material from an abandoned piece of medical scanning equipment. He takes the capsule of radioactive material to his village and they pass it around as a relic. Throughout, the emphasis is on the glowing blue substance as a symbol of the fire and determination of the community - a sort of embodiment of the warmth of a simple but human people.

[Anonymous No.21966465]

>>21966334
>A parody of Franz Kafka's The Trail, where a clear cut case of tax avoidance by a rich banker is avoided in increasingly bizarre manners
I would read that. I didn't really care for The Trial, but having a "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" styled parody would be a welcome addition to my shelves.

[Anonymous No.21966484]

>>21966287
>institutionalized hospitality
>the suicide of big foot
>the world beneath
>pitch white

[Anonymous No.21966511]

>>21966399
>The Clock Struck One
The founding work in what would become on of the most popular underground genres of the 21st century, a genre called 'Charlemagnian', which combines traditional Christianity with Germanic folk beliefs by writing European epics in which these two confront one another, and yet end up being combined. These always have an even number, but the titles always have an uneven number in them, underlining the inherent cultural instability these books are trying to resolve
>Halcyon
A pulp book about a mother who gets aroused by her sons' porno collection

[Anonymous No.21966515]

>>21966349
>Dreadlock Epaulettes
Fictionalised memoir of a militant Rastafarian who leads a breakaway sect fighting for the use of synthetic cannaboids in the Rastafarian ritual. There is a subplot involving the shady dealings between the upper levels of the sect and a pharmaceutical company influencing affairs. As a result, the novel belabours the contrast between the clean white boardroom politics that the protagonist finds himself in when dealing with the corporation, and dirty bloody street fighting between his people

[Anonymous No.21966518]

Reddit: the thread

[Anonymous No.21966525]

>>21966345
>>Flesh Hole
After a gunshot injury obtained through a misfire on a hunting trip, a man lies in a hospital bed and contemplates the greater disaster of his life. The healing of the wound, or lack thereof, serves as a reflection of his spiritual state.

[Anonymous No.21966548]

>>21966518
Just a writing exercise, anon. Go and wank over Guenon or something on another thread if you don't like it, faggot

[Anonymous No.21966593]

>>21966484
>institutionalized hospitality
Hotel California brain-bender where psych patients are kept in an experimental philanthropic ward with a bunch of nice amenities. A muckraking nurse infiltrates and observes the behaviors and interactions of the patients as the divergence between apathetic slothfulness and agitated restlessness increases.
>the suicide of big foot
An extreme social recluse tries his best to even marginally integrate into society.
>the world beneath
A team of deep sea divers off the coast of Mauritania find a hole that seems to be sucking water down into it. Too deep and dangerous, they send a probe down into it and find that it's a chute that leads deep down and towards the heart of the country, which ultimately leads to the uncovering of the ruins of Atlantis.
>pitch white
Alaskan bush pilot is wrecked by a sudden squall. The radio is mostly intact but there's practically no signal. He is forced to camp out in his wrecked plane through a coming blizzard until a search crew can find him, tearing apart his engine to make a large enough antenna in hopes that some signal can get through.


>The Ole Runaround
>A Day in the Life of Finnich O'Malley
>This Isn't Tennis

[Anonymous No.21967449]

>>21966484
>the suicide of big foot
Suicide note of a man who couldn't find a shoe that would fit him so he killed himself. Written by a black woman and wins many accolades as such

[Anonymous No.21967462]

>>21966287
Letters from Neuschwabenland

[Anonymous No.21967475]

>>21966593
>This Isn't Tennis
A tennis-playing robot makes its debut. Among the controversies: which gender is it?

[Anonymous No.21967514]

>>21966593
>The Ole runaround
Time loop character study about a south american farmer family repeating the cycle of torment caused by crop loss and drought, leading into alcoholism and abusive family dynamics as their fate is tied to the land. John returns to his childhood home, but can he uncover the truth and escape the cycle?
>A Day in Life of Finnich O' Malley
Absurdist camus inspired novel set in pre-depression NYC about Finnich O' Malley. Everyone who meets him has a secret conspiracy of hating him, yet put up a facade of humility despite bemoaning his existence. Eventually they manage to psyop him into running for president where he gets psy-oped into killing FDR.
>This isn't Tennis
Aspiring tennis champion Terry Sneedy unknowingly gets abducted by lizard beings to play for their entertainment. Every few games, the simulation somewhat breaks and objects of the game get replaced with one another, until the game is up and Terry has to fight the emperor in a game of tennis to win his freedom.

>Wired Messiah
>Antidote
>I just keep Melting them Down

[Anonymous No.21967558]

>Constant Comment

[Anonymous No.21967593]

>>21967558
>Constant Comment
A social recluse finds himself sitting down for another day of gooning and typing on internet forums before he becomes embroiled in a thread claiming to reveal godly knowledge to the world about the nature of ascension and the coming apocalypse. Half the story (told from recluse inside pov) is entirely written in thread entries, the other half is commenter following the prophecy of holy scripture written in biblical style Latin following out the actions of God. But can a social reject convince the world he is the coming saviour?

[Anonymous No.21967609]

>>21967558
>Constant Comment
Long novel revolving around a cast of eclectic yet banal characters engaged in subtly self destructive practices against the backdrop of a major disaster. The news cycle and the manner in which information is disseminated is a prominent theme, and ties the threads of each characters story together. The central event is only described as perceived by the central characters, with the news cycles forming a sort of linking structure. Endless, nested footnotes delve into the minutiae of the characters thoughts and memories

[Anonymous No.21967620]

>>21967514
>Wired Messiah
An old man in the early 20th century begins to believe that a radio evangelical is the second coming of Christ and sets off across the county to meet him. He is beset by numerous comical misfortunes and setbacks along the way

[Anonymous No.21967664]

>>21966287
>And That's a Good Thing
>The Terror of the Alpacas
>Genuine Article
>Reaping What's Sown
>Introduction to Pre-Apocalyptic Gardening: 5th Edition

[Anonymous No.21968078]

>the complete works of the prince of fools
>the American nomad
>the anti-anti-christ

[Anonymous No.21968081]

>>21967664
>And That's a Good Thing
A detailed exposé into the corruption and propaganda that is produced by mass media conglomerates in the 21st century. It details the past involvement of major producers and news corporations with CIA operatives under the now declassified Operation Mockingbird.
>The Terror of the Alpacas
Schizophrenic comedy about an endemic disease that turns a private school fraternity into were-alpacas.
>Genuine Article
High-tension adventure novel that follows the journey of a group of treasure-hunting archaeologists as they search for a painting that was stolen in WWII. However, someone is following them relentlessly across Europe. Little do they know, the true painting harbors a horrifying secret.
>Reaping What's Sown
Psychological analysis and commentary on the negative effects of social media for millennials and generation z. Several interviews and testimonials are included which were later paraphrased on teenage Instagram stories, drawing viral attention to the book and sparking a new wave social conscience.
>Introduction to Pre-Apocalyptic Gardening: 5th Edition
Doomsday prepper’s instructional manual on subsistence farming. The author is notoriously known for his inflammatory public statements of antisemitism and misogyny, yet he still garners a massive internet following. Two of his books reached into the bestsellers list on Amazon last year.

>The Platinum Standard
>Bearing The Bad News: A How-To Guide
>The Devil’s Coin-purse
>Theodicine
>Organic Phenomena

[Anonymous No.21968144]

>>21968081
>>The Platinum Standard
A Fantasy novel about a centralized and bureaucratic state systematically dismantling and conquering its less organized feudal neighbors through direct and indirect means. Mainly focuses on themes of change and revolution and the prices that they levy, such as the sacrifice of freedom for prosperity and familial bonds for meritocracy.

[Anonymous No.21968159]

>>21968078
>The American Nomad
Dystopian novel loosely based on Mike Pondsmith’s Cyberpunk TTRPG. The story follows Nick Callaghan, an anti-corp nomad from the Marauder gang in southwest Arizona. After an Arasaka satellite crashes in the Sonora Desert, the Marauders uncover an ultra-chromed netrunner named Rai, plugged into the broken machinery. Nick awakens her, beginning the development of a romantic subplot between the two. It isn’t long before the Arasaka corporate military closes in on the marauder camp in search of the girl, decimating half of the gang and forcing them to flee across the Continental United States. Along the way, Nick and the Marauders endure many hardships, but they slowly begin to accept Rai into the Marauders. Rai herself must learn what it means to be truly ‘free’.

[Anonymous No.21968161]

The Boy From Bethlehem Communes With the Nephilim

[Anonymous No.21968203]

>>21968159
I don’t know anything about cyberpunk, but the premise sounds kino af. Would definitely read this one.

>Passage of Blood Indigo
>Dark Corners Beyond
>Into the Veil

[Anonymous No.21968212]

>>21968161
Feeling edgy today, are we?

[Anonymous No.21968225]

I don’t want this thread to die.

>The Jester’s Lament
>Virago
>Bold Eckhart, A Hero for Wolves

[Anonymous No.21968396]

> Could Head Pats Save The World?
> The Shirt With A Bullet Hole From Target
> Breakfast At McDonald's
> Frappes of Wrath
> The Whimsical Chronicles of Riddick Ghey
> Kicking Cola Cans at Dawn While Walking to Work
> American Sunset

[Anonymous No.21968473]

>>21968225
>The Jester’s Lament
A comic tragedy, Carl is inundated with the repercussions of his life and world slowly crumbling around him. What starts as silly things like coffee machines spitting straight coffee grounds into his cup quickly escalates as he stands, a helpless bystander, and watches society's functions cease to be. You can only do so much weeping before you turn to the alternative - laughing.
>Virago
Jackie, a businesswoman in the depths of the corporate machine, is alarmed at her increasingly frequent and violent daydreams. Daydreams ranging from slamming the door in her boss' face to throwing subordinates from the sidewalks into oncoming traffic. Worried that these vicious imaginings will be exposed by psychiatrists, she keeps them to herself. But how long can she remain calm, cool, and most importantly, sane, before these inner demons see the light of day with her hands?
*Sort of an American Psycho spinoff that does it better justice than American Psycho 2*
>Bold Eckhart, A Hero for Wolves
The epic poem of a germanic huntsman who's village is ransacked and burned while he is out. Left without home and comrades, but burning for revenge, he wanders the Baltic region for outlaws and castaways, promising them spoils and land if they will help him destroy the culprits.

[Anonymous No.21968555]

>>21968396
> Could Head Pats Save The World?
A light-hearted short story told from the perspective of a pet dog who wonders if life would be so much better for everyone if they just had someone to metaphorically scratch them behind the ears.
> The Shirt With A Bullet Hole From Target
A first-person point-of-view from an active shooter who is sick of never finding what he needs from the only general store for 40 miles - a Target.
> Breakfast At McDonald's
A burger flipper ponders his past, present, and future as a chaotic kitchen roils around him. Told in the second person as the narrator talks himself through his life decisions.
> Frappes of Wrath
Sequel to Breakfast at McDonalds, Frappes of Wrath follows the tale of a lactose-intolerant diabetic who is hopelessly addicted to the creamy coffees served by McDonalds. Little does he/she (I don't care) know that the coffees do actually contain addictive substances and his/her attempts to break free have been met with ever-increasing withdrawal symptoms.
> The Whimsical Chronicles of Riddick Ghey
A slice-of-life, The Whimsical Chronicles record the days of city-slicker Riddick Ghey. From navigating public transit to get anywhere to sucking schlong, Riddick takes you for a walk in his shoes (and a kneeling on his knees) of daily life as a cityfag.
> Kicking Cola Cans at Dawn While Walking to Work
A coming-of-age novel following Douglas, a very average man who has to come to terms with leading a very average life. Most readers agree - "This was the most dull piece of shit I've ever picked up!"
> American Sunset
A chronological study of the end of American Imperialism as it metamorphosed from outright conquest, through the age of fighting self-righteous wars of freedom for other countries, to it's failing subversion of enemy justifications and finally it's violent thrashing at defected allies who now fear the "freedom" that the United States proposes.
Man, that sounded really douchy, but it's not technically wrong as more countries slowly defect from the petrodollar to the yen and face economic retaliation, which only drives them further towards China's embrace.

[Anonymous No.21968579]

>>21968473
>>21968555
>Captive Audience
>A Sunrise for Jimmy
>The Trash Compactor
>Bubbles in the Tub
>The Family Framing
>Do Eggs Dream of Chickens

[Anonymous No.21968619]

>>21968579
>Captive Audience
Shitty horror novel no. 28349 by Stephen King. It's about a mentally unstable man who kidnaps young women and forces them to watch old romance films, hoping that they will eventually fall in love with him. Of course, since this is a King novel, the story begins meandering heavily around page 412 as the author - yet again - inserts another thinly veiled rant about his childhood misgivings. By about page 783, the story transforms into a psychological eldritch horror, as the man doing the kidnapping suddenly realizes that each of the women he has captured were actually hallucinations of his mother. The inevitable film adaptation follows the source material very closely, barring that one pedophilic scene which was quietly cut from the screenplay.
>The Trash Compactor
Graphic novel about a neo-gothic antihero named the "Trash Compactor". It's loosely inspired by The Crow, as it follows the tragic story of a spurned businessman who is attacked by a gang of thugs and thrown into a cursed landfill. In his meagre attempts to escape, he slips and falls into hydraulic press, emerging several days later from the refuse as a being of pure garbage; a being of pure justice.
>Do Eggs Dream of Chickens
Seminal science fiction novel about using infant brains to access the fifth dimension and the pathways of ancestral blood memories. There is an extremely high budget series adaptation of the book on Amazon Prime, but the director is a complacent toady without a single credit to his name, and the show is summarily canceled.

[Anonymous No.21968643]

>>21968619
>Nightmare Zero
>Death: Twice In Darkness
>The Spooks
>Follower of The Olden Truths: Volume I
>Signition

[Anonymous No.21968663]

>>21968619
>a being of pure garbage; a being of pure justice.
kek

[Anonymous No.21968699]

>>21968555
Write the book lol, this is way too good. I read your reply while eating at a restaurant and my parents thought I won the lottery xD

It's hilarious and very good dude

[Anonymous No.21968723]

>>21968663
Lmao that's top-tier creative writing there bro

[Anonymous No.21968757]

> A dream of dark and disturbing things

[Anonymous No.21968762]

>>21968619
>There is an extremely high budget series adaptation of the book on Amazon Prime, but the director is a complacent toady without a single credit to his name, and the show is summarily canceled
Lol how is this even continuation of the synopsis lel

[Anonymous No.21968768]

>>21968643
>Nightmare Zero
John Lecarre-meets-Tom Clancy spy thriller about secret WMD tech coming out of Ukrainian biolabs. As Russian forces continue to advance the who-do-you-trust aspects ramp up. Climactic moment halfway through when the WMD gets released. Unexpected side effects in 1% of victims cause them to become psychic instead of dying, changing the nature of war (and society) forever
>Death: Twice In Darkness
A women’s urban-fantasy series about totally not The Sandman, wandering around putting old people out of their misery and philosophizing with other characters he finds interesting. Yes there is sex.
>The Spooks
White people go undercover as black people. It’s a comedy movie with social commentary
>Follower of The Olden Truths: Volume I
The actual title of the novel itself is Orb of Swords. Fantasy world where everyone is born under an elemental sign which grants limited magical powers. In the cities and universities there is a eugenics program based around this. The story follows a boy from a small village born with powers greater than anyone
>Signition
Uh oh, Neal Stephenson read something about semiotics, and now he’s written a novel based around the concept of pointers (in computer science). Technology is developed to use pointers in real life, you can assign pointers and dereference them to act on objects at a distance. Hero discovers that this also applies to abstract concepts and the very fabric of nature is in danger. Very Disturbing sex scene after he inputs abstract love for him directly to female’s brain

[Anonymous No.21968769]

>>21968225
>The Jester’s Lament
Armed with a sharp wit and brilliant sense of humour, comedian Nikolai Crow accurately dissects the zeitgeist and social climate of the present day. While many envy him for living the dream, conjuring roaring laughter and contemplative murmuring alike across the big stages of the US, his diary tells another story: that of a fundamentally broken man, to whom his fame is as much a curse as it is a blessing. As his recognition grows, so does the rift between the entertainer and the mask he presents to the world. Disillusioned and exhausted, Nikolai wants to break free from the world of comedy, but soon finds that the iron claws of the industry a hard to shake off.

[Anonymous No.21968778]

>>21968757
>> A dream of dark and disturbing things
This is a very long, very elaborate sociological study on the golfclub culture of Hawaii. It delves into the culture of upper middle class Americans, who create a perfect landscape of 18 holes, all while being gripped with fear for the Other, and while being plagued by health issues, many of them related to their obesity, which they deny

[Anonymous No.21968800]

>>21968757
A businessman a la Bateman slowly becomes more NEET and reclusive, but no one is aware of it or even acknowledges it. He runs into former co-workers who praise him for his good work, but he quit months ago. Even when he is homeless and completely destitute, he is still being invited to business seminars and conferences, along with congratulatory remarks about promotions. People in the street compliment his suit although he is wearing a piss stained coat he stole from another homeless man. Towards the end he shows up to the office in tatters smelling like shit, screaming for everyone to leave him alone. His boss hand's him his 2 year back log of unclaimed paychecks and promotes him to manager/motivational speaker.

[Anonymous No.21968803]

>>21968768
>Uh oh, Neal Stephenson read something about semiotics, and now he’s written a novel based around the concept of pointers
That sounds… kinda good actually. Wtf?

[Anonymous No.21968804]

> Against Theosophy (by J. Evola)

[Anonymous No.21968817]

>>21968081
Those were really cool synopses for the titles I came up with, thanks anon!
>Bearing The Bad News: A How-To Guide
A grieving widow seeks the support of family and friends following the death of her husband following an extended fight with cancer. Unsatisfied and a bit unhinged, she buys a motorcycle and rides to Mexico to clear her head.
>The Devil’s Coin-purse
A young demoness navigates the complexities and absurdities of her life as a bookkeeper of one of the underworld's most prominent hedge fund companies.
>Theodicine
A man struggling with a serious mental illness moves back to his hometown after being held in multiple psych wards following a bout of psychosis causing a public disturbance and family tension. He decides, after a life as a devout athiest, that he wants to be baptized in the river he swam in as a young boy.
>Organic Phenomena
A coming-of-age tale set in small-town Michigan following a high school boy as his prodigious talent for chemistry brings him to the National Science Fair, where he meets an intriguing girl with a deadly secret.

[Anonymous No.21968821]

>>21968768
>The actual title of the novel itself is Orb of Swords.
I like how you just changed the title to your heart's contents lmao

[Anonymous No.21968822]

>The Borders of Blood
>Geonecrosis
>The Tragedy of Terry Olivane, Last of the Lonesomes
>New Derelict
>Cause and Defect

[Anonymous No.21968834]

>>21968822
>The Borders of Blood
a fictional book read by a character in
>Geonecrosis
a fictional manga read by a character in
>The Tragedy of Terry Olivane, Last of the Lonesomes
A story told within a story, told by the protagonist to another character in
> New Derelict
a fictional newspaper read by a character in the book
>Cause and Defect
a fictional book only existing in a 4channel.org post

[Anonymous No.21968837]

>>21968821
Not that anon, but I suppose “volume I” implies that “Follower of the Olden Truths” is the series title and “Orb of Swords” is the first book.

[Anonymous No.21968840]

>>21968834
:(

You’re no fun, anon.

[Anonymous No.21968843]

>>21968078
>The complete works of the Prince of Fools
Biased retelling of a historical people's politician. Story deals with the divine right of kings- pesants realising this low born farmer is actually chosen by right to rule a kingdom, as historical writers try their hardest to play him as a rebellious agent of satan.
>The American nomads
Avant-garde and stunning sequel to trainspotting. Group of lost boys struggle to find reason and purpose in modern life in mid-city Atlanta. The twist is they reject every notion of meaning in life, instead indulging further into drugs, guns and antisocial behaviour. They are constantly surrounded by beacons of hope like starting a family or going to church.
>The Anti-Anti-Christ
Joe Sweede beats up a homeless man, causing him to pass out and die in the hospital later that week. Little does he know, this man was the coming vessel of the Anti-Christ. Story debates whether or not this decision was justified, and what it makes of Joe.


>Parceled Principalies
>A Guide to pidgeon breeding (must only be associated to the title thematically)
>The gnostic way of masturbation

[Anonymous No.21968845]

>Ascent to az-Zubair: The Mystic Journeys
> Come Unfolded, Blue Sky
> Dead Icons, Everlasting Names
> The Alchemical Mousetrap
> Yuan To Ask Me Sumthin' ?

[Anonymous No.21968846]

>>21968822
>Geonecrosis
A truly horrifying analysis of the harm caused by geopolitical 'experts'. Taking all the variables into account, and even with the definition being narrowed down to the modern sense of the word, the death toll caused by the 'study' of geopolitics, mainly caused by 'advice' to decision makers, is estimated to be in the 2.3 billion human lives lost needlessly. This work provided the blueprint for the first series of the Geopolitics Trails, a series of human rights trials in The Hague where various geopolitical experts have to justify their heinous deeds in court

[Anonymous No.21968849]

>>21968817
I like how each of these has a very down to earth, slice of life type feel (except for the one about the demoness, lol. Though it sounds like a good plot for a manga).

[Anonymous No.21968855]

>>21968843
>>Parceled Principalies
The prince of Laos wants to include a poor Laotian rentboy in his last will and testament, and give him and his family a parcel of land near to the palace, but must jump through several hoops and ceremonial laws to get it done.
>>A Guide to pidgeon breeding
a blind passenger on a plane, a former pilot, has to steer a plane when the current pilot dies. A young Laotian rentboy serves as his eyes.
>>The gnostic way of masturbation
Lost Crowleyan mss. the existence of which is only hinted by a brief mention in the writings of a Laotian rentboy Crowley spent time with

[Anonymous No.21968883]

>>21968845
> Come Unfolded, Blue Sky
Non-fictional rambles of a pseudonym’d conspiracy theorist and his supposed evidence for the non-existence of space travel. In the book, he explains at length about the Jewish occult origins of NASA and about the cutting edge CGI and rotoscoping technology used in live footage for their fake satellite broadcasts. The first few pages are dedicated to deceased film director Stanley Kubrick, whose recently discovered diary expounds upon his involvement with filming the faked moon-landing, and was integral to the writing of this book. Two weeks later following the launch day, Buzz Aldrin is found dead in his home. The news reports it as a death by natural causes, but unexplainable factors surrounding his demise remain unanswered.
> Dead Icons, Everlasting Names
Biographical study of American cultural icons ranging from actors and politicians to musicians and authors, with a particular focus on how they’re remembered by younger generations.
> The Alchemical Mousetrap
Historical fantasy novel about an alchemist who accidentally turns himself into a mouse after a rival magician sabotages his mousetraps during the time of the Black Death. The Alchemist must find a way to reverse the transformation, while also seeking a means of satisfying revenge against the magician who had wronged him.

[Anonymous No.21968912]

>>21968822
>The Borders of Blood
A gritty medieval drama centering on a knight and his squire detailing the horrors of war
>Geonecrosis
An in-depth analysis of the harmful effects industrialization has had on our environment
>The Tragedy of Terry Olivane, Last of the Lonesomes
A comedic melodrama following Terry Olivane, a would-be rogue and womanizer, as he narrowly evades the grasp of local authorities, spurned ladies, and shady dealers in a fantasy setting resembling urban 15th century France
>New Derelict
A poor young man seeks to make his fortune restoring old cars from stingy old men, scouring junkyards for parts and spending long hours in the shop in hopes that he can move his mother out of the trailer park someday
>Cause and Defect
A group of young hippies get together at the local watering hole and drunkenly burn their draft cards and promise to leave for Canada to avoid serving in the Vietnam War.

[Anonymous No.21969038]

>>21968555
> Breakfast At McDonald's
>A burger flipper ponders his past, present, and future as a chaotic kitchen roils around him. Told in the second person as the narrator talks himself through his life decisions.

I have a story to tell you. You may not care cause I wasn't a hero.

I remember waking up at 5 AM in 2003, reading a copy of National Geographic.
One of the articles talks about how stars were formed.

Stars form when there's accumulation of gas and by the difference in gravity in space. The chance of a star to form is unknown. I am engorged by the beauty of the world, so mysterious, so unusual, so beautiful.

At 5 years old, I wonder about the universe.

I was awoken by my iPhone 9 alarm. In 2023. My alarm music Rod Stewart's Young Turks. I reach a hand by my side. There's nobody there. I am a singleton.

I woke up to do my deed, brush my teeth and take a bath, and wear my clothes.
A pin that says "Seth" is the last part of my uniform.

Here I go.

Fast forward driving on the suburbs flipping the bird at rude cars, almost crashing into a trashcan and almost picking up a fight over McDonald's parking space.

It's 9 AM.

It's been a rough day since 7.10 AM.

"I need the BURGERS NOWW!" Sora screamed near my ears.
Fuck it, Sora.

Sora is a Japanese-American. His spiky black hair jutted under the McDonald's cap. We are an army of feeding the public burgers, chips, cola and occasional new dishes.

This feels like Fight Club but there's no Tyler Durden. Just me, and Sora McKenzie.

Sora is a hardworking person. I was there chewing gum and trying to rip open the buns. Damn, why is it so hard to open this bag?

"Keanu. Come on with the burgers. Leave that bag of buns. Flip the flipping burgers first." Sora said to me, almost hissing, his face too close to me. The microphone is almost touching my chin.

"Ok, ok, senpai, I'll flip the burgers" I dropped the half-open plastic wrapped buns.

I am used to Sora ordering me around. He's a hardworking man, I usually find my seniors annoying and laughable but I respect Sora. It's his tenacity and rationality when dealing with customers, the stoic smile, his admirable responses to screaming customers and his monotone voice saying "Please, ma'am. This is McDonald's, please don't -- no ma'am! Please do not even attempt throwing the hot coffee at me or I'll call security. The manager's out right now. Please sit down at yellow chairs and we'll deal with this matter as soon as the manager's in. Now, I have other customers to serve. NEXT!" he said calmly as he smiled broadly at the angry lady that I couldn't see the whites of his eyes.

This work beats university. In university, nobody even dared to ask the Professor why Jared Diamond is a required reading, well, to be fair, nobody reads it, but boy, do I disagree with Diamond. I wanted to object but nobody else started it first so I didn't.

The upbeat music from the radio is soothing, so I tapped my fingers on the bench along with the music.

[Anonymous No.21969085]

>>21967514
>Antidote
After falling asleep in an alley in the city Anon wakes up, hungover. He smells of piss, but feels amazing. Soon discoveres that he has super powers, and realises it was some magical piss. After contacting the owner of a local business with a camera pointing to where he slept, anon goes on an epic journey to find the source of the one with the magical piss. Really it is super syphilis, and he is fucked, the book is so fucked that soon there is no plot and no Anon, and the final 10 pages are written in Latin verse, imitating the bible, talking about anal sex

>I just keep melting them down
Anon discovers a way through physics on how to melt ice immediatally, however in the process discovers that the process also liquefies stone to a cool liquid, and a jemstone is left as the resultant process. Decides to become jewler. Chaos ensues

>the case less late
>of ubers
>Up-datable

[Anonymous No.21969110]

>>21969085
>Up-datable
Story about datable data scientists. In a world of propaganda, five handsome, skillful, jacked, data scientists decided to fight against propaganda that try to stray humanity from morality.

Are they datable? Definitely.
Can they update data? Hey, they can update you too. Update you to be the person... or dead.

[Anonymous No.21969116]

>>21969085
Story about datable data scientists. In a world of propaganda, five handsome, skillful, jacked, data scientists decided to fight against propaganda that try to stray humanity from morality.

Are they datable? Definitely.
Can they update data? Hey, they can update you too. Update you to be the to not follow the propaganda... or dead.

[Anonymous No.21969117]

>>21969116
For
>Up-datable

[Anonymous No.21969156]

>>21968845
>Ascent to az-Zubair: The Mystic Journeys
Anon gets first propper neurolink, is unable to stop browsing net, but somehow becomes amazingly cool because the hybridisation of what they want to say and what the neurolink insists they say.

> Come Unfolded, Blue Sky
A story about an origami master seeking resolutions to the past, while simultaneously grappling with occasional glimpses of seemingly impossible, but intuitively right ways to fold paper in new ways

> Dead Icons, Everlasting Names
In a last ditch effort to create fair competition the government legislates to make all companies have the same brand and logo

> The Alchemical Mousetrap
Anon finds out that his mousetrap will turn every carcas into gold, the only catch is that he has to listen to the dying animals version of the meaning of life before the process can occur

> Yuan To Ask Me Sumthin' ?
A story set in the future where the last person to forward "the message" on will be cursed with finding and verifying the answer


>intercities
>the overpass home
>the evening papers

[Anonymous No.21969165]

>>21969156
> Dead Icons, Everlasting Names
>In a last ditch effort to create fair competition the government legislates to make all companies have the same brand and logo
Lmao

[Anonymous No.21969175]

>>21969156
>the evening papers
Old man fights alone the anti-paper companies for stopping the production of physical newspapers.

[Anonymous No.21969242]

>>21969085
Wow, nice.

>the case less late
Noir cop drama about a washed up detective larping his way through the job. In reality he is spying on a morbidly obese landlord so his client can blackmail him. The real case is his son's wife discovering the causes of the detective's late wife's affair that lead to her husband's birth.

>of ubers
Spiritual successor to tess of d'ubervilles. Tess' dynasty has spawned a popular but dim-witted slut girl, a drug addicted boy and two parents in a loveless relationship cheating on each other. The story is told from the point of view of the family dog, by the way.

>up-datable
Cyberpunk romance about uploading others consciousness into each other's bodies to feel pleasure. Uses terms like 'brain-jacking' and 'mind-blow' to make it particularly obtuse

[Anonymous No.21969329]

>>21968579
>Bubbles in the Tub
Pop-science book equating the emergence of life in prehistoric soup to bubbles in a tub. The book opens "You've no doubt heard the phrase 'we are startdust'. It is however more accurate to say we are bubbles, as far as analogies go".

> The Family Framing
Estranged family members gather together to pose for a portrait, however one by one they get killed. Turns out it was the painter who did it.

>intercities
The story of Geocities founder, mr. Ülder Geocitovich, and his shadow war with angelic beings that shoot fire

>>the overpass home
like the Overton Window but this time it's a house

[Anonymous No.21969342]

>While I was waiting

>The air was purple

>He had me by the third act

>Operation "Qumquat"

[Anonymous No.21969399]

>>21969342
>While I was waiting
A bitter nerd outlines the chronology of his wife's promiscuity and infidelities. Written as if addressed to the wife. Outlines the amount of cock his wife rode in university while he was courting her and waiting to gain her favour. Frequent mentions of the gun he is stroking as he writes and hints to the climax.
>The air was purple
Story of a boy finding love against the backdrop of an explosion at the local dye factory. Set in 1950s southern US. Culminates in a case of mistaken identity and lynching where the boy is mistaken for a black man after becoming covered in a dark dye from the explosion and kissing his girlfriend with the dye.
>He had me by the third act
Biography of a famous playwright by a critic who was formerly highly dismissive of the artist's work but came to like it later in his career. Reveals a hitherto unknown fact about an amorous affair the two had right about the time he began to change his opinion
>Operation "Qumquat"
Humorous novella about a platoon in the second world war using fruit shipments to pass through enemy lines.
> The Alchemical Mousetrap
Historical novel about the intentional propagation of the lead to gold myth by the king of Spain to divert English attention from the bullion being shipped from the new world.

[Anonymous No.21969409]

>>21969399
My titles:
>Sing, fuse
>The Asbestos man
>A Hard Cell
>Disco Magic with Mike Spelt

[Anonymous No.21969412]

>>21968845
>>Ascent to az-Zubair: The Mystic Journeys
Some guy reads The Approach to al-Mutassim by Borges and decides write the actual book despite knowing nothing about India or theology.

[Anonymous No.21969417]

>Jargonhead

>Moon in the 7th House

>Might Over Matter

>The Skeletons Danced on the Table

>Being and Actuality

[Anonymous No.21969441]

>>21969409
>>Sing, fuse
an opera singer loses her voices and gets experimental vocal chord surgery. Her voice now sounds better than before, but everytime she sings electrical equipment around her malfunctions. She ultimately discovers that she was an android all along with false memories implanted, based on a fictitious opera singer from a book. She reads the book, first sorrowfully, then comes to the parts that haven't happened yet: she then starts smiling and laughing at all the fun adventures described therein, that yet await her. Having accepted this, her voice now ceases to cause electrical malfunctions. She declines to read the final chapter once she notices the foreshadowing of her own death, at the hands of a former (fictitious) husband. Then one day she sees him in the audience, in shock and fear her voice rises into an operatic scream and all the lights go out.

[Anonymous No.21969451]

>>21969417
>The Skeletons Danced on the Table
Johnny Maxim have to fight the skeletons in the closet. He's only 9 but he refused to show fear of the skeletons to his parents, also, his parents didn't believe him!

Follow the adventures of Johnny Maxim, who attempt to solve the mystery of the skeletons that always come out at night and danced on the dinner table. Every morning, Johnny saw white specks of dust on the rosewood dinner table - he knew he's not dreaming! He decided to take matters to his own hands and collected the bonemeal in a Tupperware and decided to show it to his favorite teacher, Mr. Mystery Ri, or Mr. Ri, for short. What they found was beyond science...

Buy the book to find out what "it" is!

[Anonymous No.21969458]

>>21969417
A master debater for a university team faces an ex-US Marine on the topic of gun control in the US.
>Moon in the 7th House
Short story about a young boy living on the coast. On an island not far from shore there are seven abandoned houses facing the mainland. The boy outlines the legend of the houses, staying that something can be seen in the window of the seventh house when the moon shines through it at its fullest. Seeing only a pale shape in the window from the mainland, the boy decides to investigate more closely the next full moon and ventures out to the island.
>>Might Over Matter
Humorous, cosmicomics-style story about a rogue spirit bullying elementary particles into forming more complex atoms and molecules.
>The Skeletons Danced on the Table
A guy who aspires to be a horror writer is rejected by every publisher and so decides to.make his own life a loving horror story, skimming himself and stripping away his own flesh. The cops find his half skeletonized body on his kitchen table and critics applaud his mastery of modern art.
>Being and Actuality
Someone tries to say something about the fundamental nature of reality and existence but instead only obfuscates the matter further

[Anonymous No.21969461]

>>21969458
Damn, first was meant to be >Jargonhead

[Anonymous No.21969616]

>>21968203
>>Passage of Blood Indigo
an anthology of stories centering around a family of slaves transported to the New World, whose descendants would come to live in major Indigo producing regions such as Guatemala, Hispaniola, and South Carolina. Central themes across these stories are the differences in how slavery was practiced in these regions and the psychological effects the monotony of the work had on the slaves.
>>Dark Corners Beyond
a sci-fi pulp fiction story about the first human expedition out of the solar system. the expedition encounters pockets of space that seem to defy the most basic laws of nature and are inhabited by sentient creatures with an alien sense of morality.
>>Into the Veil
an extensive anthropological and philosophical work that examines the institution of marriage across many different cultures and attempts to defend it's continued existence.

[Anonymous No.21969845]

>John Barleycorn will not die
>The Hound and the Serpent
>Of the Tsars and their Crimes.

[Anonymous No.21970544]

>>21969845
>The Hound and the Serpent
Epic novel following two dynasties from their founding in the early middle ages through to the early modern era. Follows certain heirs from certain eras. The titular snake and hound are the respective emblems of the dynasties. Explores the various alliances and enmities between the two families as they intermarry, war, and eventually become irrelevant as the mercantile class comes to prominence. Animal motifs are explored throughout, but often negated by the actions of the characters - ie the supposedly "loyal" hound prove duplicitous or the snake spares his enemy in honour. The actions of the characters (that the reader has themselves seen the truth of) are referenced and mythologised by their descendant in ways that the reader can variously perceive as outright lies or exaggerations. There is a final epilogue in the form of a letter from the last descendant of both families who is in her 90s in 2010 (the same person) and who outlines to a historian the death of the once noble houses.

[Anonymous No.21970550]

>>21969441
I'd read it. What happens next though?

[Anonymous No.21970573]

>>21968619
>The inevitable film adaptation follows the source material very closely, barring that one pedophilic scene which was quietly cut from the screenplay
Kek

[Anonymous No.21970679]

>Angels of Death
>Flesh Engines
>The Simulacrum
>Glint
>Star-Trigger 12

[Anonymous No.21971674]

>Thus Recanted Zarathustra
>3rd Born and 2nd Begotten
>The Soonest Ripe, is the Soonest Rotten

[Anonymous No.21971702]

>>21971674
>3rd Born and 2nd Begotten
An obscure four thousand page mammoth of a novel written entirely in a fragmented stream of conscious style; the main plot, from what we have been able to tell, follows the thoughts and (revealed at the end to be -false-) memories of a fetus, the middle child between two triplets with whom he is sharing "the trunk" (an affectionate term for his mother's womb), as he absorbs the tissue of his younger sibling and experiences the highly unpleasant process of being born. The novel is divided into four sections and the last section is only partially complete, being cobbled together from disparate typewritten pages that were found scattered around the author's apartment at the time of his suicide.

[Anonymous No.21971745]

>>21969409
>Disco Magic with Mike Spelt
A small 94-page pamphlet written by serial rapist Mike Spelt, who was imprisoned on 47 charges of rape in 1986. Spelt was known for targeting women at nightclubs in his area, and claimed to seduce them using what he called "pelvic voodoo," before luring them outside and raping them. The pamphlet details Spelt's incredibly complex series of esoteric rituals meant to help the reader seduce women, all of which require disco music to function properly; Spelt claims that, in particular, songs by Joe Tex and Barry White work best for these purposes. The last section of the pamphlet is a step-by-step guide on how to use a penis pump, a small version of which was usually given away with the pamphlet when Spelt was distributing it out of the back of his car in late 1977. Spelt was released on parole in 2006, and currently resides somewhere in East Montana.

[Anonymous No.21971926]

>>21971745
>pelvic voodoo
>songs by Joe Tex and Barry White
Lmfao

[Anonymous No.21972062]

>>21970679
>Angels of Death
Heavenly beings appear on Earth, admit that all of existence is a gigantic cock-up, and foretells that the souls of all sentient beings are slated for permanent destruction within the next few decades.
The plot is revealed through slice-of-life dramas featuring a young man who just wants to date his lifelong crush, a burned-out librarian tired of babysitting homeless derelicts, a new recruit in the French Foreign Legion, and the Pope.
>Flesh Engines
A revolution in personal transportation is created when genetic engineering produces living cars, with engines having the efficiency of biological life.
Humanity slowly realizes these cars have no use for them, and are slowly driving us to extinction.
The Pixar movie "Cars" is set a few decades after the last human dies.
>The Simulacrum
People discover that real life is a sort of purgatory, and that movies, TV shows, and video games are actually portals to the worlds they depict. Before long, the land mass depicted in Hello Kitty's Island Adventure is packed beyond capacity.
>Glint
A nervous young man repeatedly sees odd figures and shapes out of the corner of his eye, but nothing's there when he looks. He soon uncovers an alien conspiracy bent on world domination, and leads humanity in a battle against them. Unfortunately, the enemy can't be seen directly, so there's a lot of accidental death and injury of fellow human beings. The dramatic climax follows the discovery that the aliens can be seen quite clearly in mirrors, which no one thought of trying until then, for no adequately-explored reason. Released under one of Stephen King's pseudonyms.
>Star-Trigger 12
Space explorers discover the Horsehead Nebula is home to spacefaring horses, desperately looking for allies to aid them in the eternal battle against the spacefaring bears, who are streaming out from Ursa Major in all directions, bent on conquest. A revival of horse-riding skills and the Western mythos, and all the good times therein, leads up to a climactic battle, where our noble American heroes are startled to find Russian mercenaries riding the bears.

Hell Toupée
The Effervescent Bastardization Of Lord Ladybottom
Seek Hither, Thou Egg
The Wisdom Of Amoebas

[Anonymous No.21972086]

>>21972062
>The Effervescent Bastardization Of Lord Ladybottom

[Anonymous No.21972094]

>>21971674
>Thus Recanted Zarathustra
Zoroaster, the divine being that inspired Nietzsche's great work, comes back to tell us he was wrong about everything.
As he continued to ascend the higher levels of reality, he found that our enclosing 5th-dimensional reality is merely a turd floating in the reclamation pool of a 6th-dimensional water treatment plant, that our Gods (including him) are fecal bacteria, and the Demiurge is a regenerating fragment of a tapeworm.
He then explains the true cause of all of the lousy things that have happened to us in light of this discovery.
>3rd Born and 2nd Begotten
I can't improve on >>21971702 . That's just epic.
>The Soonest Ripe, is the Soonest Rotten
An unblinking expose of the cutthroat life of bananas growing on trees on a Panamanian plantation.
The original nonfiction book was considered too scandalous for publication, so it was rewritten as a fictionalized depiction.
In the thrilling conclusion, a deadly game of cat-and-also-cat erupts between the savior tarantulas, trying to stop the bananas from being separated from their mother tree, and a rum-swilling man known to them only as "Day-O".

[Anonymous No.21972154]

>>21969845
>John Barleycorn Will Not Die
A mysterious brewery on the outskirts of a second world megacity electrifies the populace with news of five golden tickets, hidden inside cans of their beer.
They are found by a middle-aged wife-beating alcoholic, a college fratboy, a fishing enthusiast, a baseball season-ticket holder, and a teenager who couldn't legally possess alcohol. But on the appointed day, all are allowed into the brewery to see what no one else has ever seen before.
They are shocked to find the brewery's workers consist largely of imprisoned children, kept complacent and obedient by regular infusions of alcohol.
The first four visitors meet their demise in an ironic manner, given their backgrounds; the fifth, i.e. the teenager, willingly becomes a conscripted laborer when he's promised that he'll inherit the brewery from the owner some day.
Later, he discovers the brewery owner made the same promise to all the other workers.

[Anonymous No.21972168]

Here are some titles from an RPG scenario (Pathfinder 1e rules) that I'll never finish writing.
They're the works written by the incompetent auteurs in an artist's collective.
(The plot involved an evil guild of bards and illusionists, using compulsion magic to force people to watch their terrible work. In other words, it was MST3K: The RPG Scenario.)

• An Auroch Goes To College
• Are You There, Powdered Mummy Skin? It’s Me, Sutli
• Bad Girl On Campus: A Memoir Of Reform School
• Cherubic Assassins A-Go-Go
• Darkness At Midnight
• Devolution In Five Easy Steps
• Fishing In A Volcano
• Memories Of Remembrance
• Night Of The Day Without Sunshine
• Oozes Say The Darnedest Things
• Piggly Gumdrop Saves All Of Existence
• Pygmy Love Goddesses Of Swamp Island
• Sinkhole Rising
• Teaching The Blind To Hunt
• The Demon Who Loved Too Much
• The Funky Phantasm
• The Funky Phantasm 2: Funky Rides Again
• The Funky Phantasm 3: Funkadelic
• The World’s Most Eligible Vampire
• Untitled Until Now
• Untitled Until Now 2: Fill In The Blank

[Anonymous No.21972179]

>>21966334
>A parody of Franz Kafka's The Trail, where a clear cut case of tax avoidance by a rich banker is avoided in increasingly bizarre manners
Reminds me of the show Rake where the shady lawyer protagonist keeps fending off his case against the IRS. The American remake is good too.

[Anonymous No.21972191]

>>21969458
Aw...I was hoping a master debater would meet a cunning linguist.

[Anonymous No.21972211]

>>21969417
>Might Over Matter
A practical use for Schrödinger's paradox is found when a critical mass of indecisive people are brought together and asked to concentrate on a single object at a time, transforming each of them into the most wondrous and terrifying creations ever seen by man.
They soon break free from their masters' control, create all the whimsical devices that have ever existed in science fiction novels, and escape from Earth in a ship powered by Douglas Adams' infinite improbability drive.
They are never seen again, to everyone's great relief.

[Anonymous No.21972223]

>The Call of Sneed
>At the Mountains of Agartha
>The Necromancer
>Pepe; or, the Frog

[Anonymous No.21972246]

>>21969409
>The Asbestos Man
A self-aggrandizing, trash-talking, billionaire reality-TV star unexpectedly becomes President of the United States, and beholden to no one, challenges the Establishment and begins instituting real solutions for the problems of the people, solutions that decrease the power and relevancy of the Powers That Be.
The Establishment reacts with increasingly frantic and insane attempts to bring him down, all of which fail, forcing them to liken his flame-proof public image to asbestos.
After cheating openly to beat him in the following election, the deposed President is joined by a maverick billionaire who does something similar with the nation's preeminent social media site.
The Establishment use all the levers at their disposal to try to destroy both of them, but only manage to completely discredit the entire Establishment. With big government, big business, big pharma, big education, and big unions completely destroyed from within, both billionaires are easily elected to the Presidency in the next election.
Total fiction. Couldn't happen. Not based on any real-life people. Was found scrawled in feces on walls of derelict tractor factory by local madman.
>A Hard Cell
After politicians destroy civil society with increasingly nonsensical rules, the few remaining sane people build prisons and lock themselves inside, to protect themselves from the madness raging outside their walls.
The nicer prisons are referred to as "gated communities".

[Anonymous No.21972351]

>>21968845
>Ascent to az-Zubair: The Mystic Journeys
Four experienced mountaineers attempt to ascend the seldom-climbed Lhotse; being merely the 3rd-highest mountain in the Himalayas, it gets no respect.
Chaos unfolds when, after reaching the South Peak, they find a pissant whitebread mountain town, and begin bickering like American middle-class 8-year-olds.
As part of their religious indoctrination, they become convinced that the meaning of life is the Hokey Pokey; after all, "that's what it's all about".
They regain their sanity, and their former personalities, after leaving this mountain dystopia.
Two of them return with copious notes, and end up creating one of the most popular, long-running animated TV shows of all time.
>Come Unfolded, Blue Sky
A young man suddenly notices the view of the sky is literally being blocked by gigantic nylon-cloth banners, springing up from the ground all over the city where he lives.
He also finds that great works of public art are being replaced by crass, artless conglomerations of melted colored plastic.
No one else around him seems to notice anything has changed.
He makes it his mission to find out what's going on and expose the conspiracy that's trying to take away the present, and replace it with a tasteless, inaccurate set of bad replicas.
>Dead Icons, Everlasting Names
A computer geek goes to Hell, and discovers that Satan is actually the Microsoft help-agent Clippy.
His eternal punishment is fixing security bugs in Microsoft products, only to have incompetent third-world programmers add more flaws faster than he can fix them.
>The Alchemical Mousetrap
An account of the making, marketing, and ultimately bitter failure of the once-popular children's game, where players mix together random chemicals in an attempt to prevent a plastic mouse from reaching the end of a winding path.
A rare interview from the reclusive Dmitri Hasbro is included as an epilogue, where he mostly rants about how Stratego pieces have been haunting him since his retirement.

[Anonymous No.21972417]

>>21972223
>The Call of Sneed
A socially-awkward NEET pees a little every time he sneezes, which embarrasses him to no end.
He accidentally discovers that the urine excreted when he sneezes, when put into contact with lead, turns it into gold.
When he tries to ramp up production, he discovers that only urine he emits in public, with the ensuing social embarrassment, has this alchemical property.
He is now torn between his new source of income, and the need to continually move from place to place to avoid the terrible reputation his actions create.
He encounters his greatest opponent when someone devotes a Facebook page to tracking his whereabouts.
>At the Mountains of Agartha
Deep-sea scientists discover that the deep troughs of undersea chasms contain portals to the summits of hollow-Earth mountains.
They try to unlock the secret of travel between the two realities, but are constantly distracted by the affections of the nubile hollow-Earth women, who inexplicably find scientists to be attractive.
They finally have to flee for their lives, leaving their women and their discoveries behind, when the seething jealousy of the dumbass hollow-Earth male population explodes into violence.
>The Necromancer
There are actually a lot of books with this title.
>Pepe; or, the Frog
A divine frog is suddenly willed into existence by the positive affirmations of thousands upon thousands of socially-awkward NEETs.
He begins exacting revenge against society for the humiliations inflicted on the NEETs, but this ends up destroying everything that was beautiful and true in the world, leading to civilizational collapse.
His last words, before being destroyed by an interfaith council of exorcists, is "feels bad, man".

[Anonymous No.21972478]

>The Doom That Came to Patmos

>The Hour of Yakub

>The Negromancer

>Snoymonger

>On the Chinese

>The Death of the Death of the Transmogrification of Chuck Into Sneed Whose Seed and Feedery Fed the Town of Montgomery for Eighteen Years and Ten Months

[Anonymous No.21972532]

>>21968699
Which one?
>>21969038
You're a hero in my eyes, anon. Keep on keeping on. WAGMI

[Anonymous No.21972642]

>>21972478
Ho boy,
>The Doom That Came to Patmos
Patmos, a simple settlement on the surface of Mars, has been experiencing increasingly frequent and violent tremors. When a seismologist is brought to town to investigate, he finds that the is part a larger, cataclysmic shift that will rend the atmobubble apart and destroy the town. Will the settlers heed the warnings, or will their steadfast determination as survivors be their downfall?
>The Hour of Yakub
Yakub, a little Jewish boy, has gotten it into his head that he is the second coming of Christ and that the Lord is his real dad. Follow the life of little Yakub as he seeks to outmaneuver the nonbelievers and prove that he and he alone is the only way to get into Heaven.
>The Negromancer
A medieval Sub-Saharan witchdoctor is tasked by his king to eliminate a plague which has sprung up in several rural villages and left many dead. As Oo-Banooga travels to each village, he finds several clues to the origin of the plague, but the cure is not so simple. Will he be able to find the fabled "Soap" of the White Gods? And will he be able to convince the people of the villages that hygiene is important?
>Snoymonger
The story of a onions coffee startup in the heart of San Francisco, Paul must not only claw his way to the top of the market, but also convince the normal people that it doesn't taste like shit.
>On the Chinese
That book is already written. I just wish I had the screenpost of the excerpts of the author who did visit China in, I think, the 1910s or so. Talks about how swindling is common practice, how nobody knows how to swim, and all sorts of other endearing stories. Just have to live with picrel for now.
>The Death of the Death of the Transmogrification of Chuck Into Sneed Whose Seed and Feedery Fed the Town of Montgomery for Eighteen Years and Ten Months
Details the rapid and unexpected decay of Chuck's empire into a single, lowly cabin store which is ultimately bought out by Sneed, who's sheer innovative genius keeps the local economy afloat and the people never wanting for food.

[Anonymous No.21972698]

>>21969845

>John Barleycorn will not die
Story of a tyranny who inadvertently moves next door to someone with their exact dead name, but he is an absolute chad and spends all his time fucking random women and the trannie fantasises about him continuously

>The Hound and the Serpen
A staffie talking with a snake in the garden if Eden about how good babies taste, and how they feel fulfilled, duty bound to eat them because they understand how the loss of such intense sweetness is a warning for the humans when they think about apples

[Anonymous No.21973021]

>>21966593
>This Isn't Tennis
Scholarship kid from the streets makes his ways into the upper eschelons of the corporate legal world only to discover he must initiate himself in a demonic ritual in order to make partner. It's written so you are unsure whether the ritual is literal or metaphorical. There's also a fellow coworker you are unsure is real and is removef from the narrative halfway in.

[Anonymous No.21973361]

>Scrap for sale
>Bow before you leave
>Hence my wonder

[Anonymous No.21973538]

>>21973361
>Scrap for sale
Story if a company that sells rubbish. It is like Moby's dick, and there is the elusive white whale, but in the scrap world it is the solution to equilibrium, the device that will restore balance to consumptive energy in the world, the thing that will allow for a higher state of consumption and waste management, fundamentally allowing for a consumption that will outlast the universe. Whole chapters are dedicated to the profitability and genealogy of waste

>Bow before you leave
Story abiut the tallest person on earth being left behind because the resources required to accommodate them on the spaceship were too much to justify their survival. It focusses on the small cuts made to them daily, leading up to lift off, to encourage them to kill themselves, or have a fatal accident because the survivors didn't want to take any guilt with them away from the inadequate world

>Hence my wonder
An centuries old person is dying at the next plateau of age humanity faces on its way to immortality. It is a story of their recollections on their life

>ripped cone speakers
>room for politics
>the only man who wouldn't swim

[Anonymous No.21973549]

>>21973538
If autocorrect was a dildo I'd still fuck up

[Anonymous No.21973608]

>>21972532
I like everything but
>Could Head Pats Save The World?
I really like this one and the
> T-Shirt with a bullet hole from Target
This one sounds like a comedy masterpiece that Jack Black or Christopher Mintz-Plasse, or maybe even Adam Sandler could act

[Anonymous No.21973640]

>In Celebration of Solitude
>Have Some Humility
>Three Summers
>Suburbanization

[Anonymous No.21973795]

>>21966287
>Cloudgazer
>To the Boy on the Hill
>Wooden Doors or The Big Lie
>Tilting at Windmills: A Nobody at the Ass-End of Nowhere

[Anonymous No.21973831]

>Emeriti Psycho
>The Backpacker Diaries

[Anonymous No.21973979]

>>21973831
>>21973795
>>21973640
One of you cunts could at least shit out some ideas, beyond titles. Shit cunts

[Anonymous No.21974042]

>>21973538
>Moby's Dick
Biography of the sad love life of an ageing electronic record producer. Long chapter devoted to some tenuous bullshit philosophy linking green politics with tantric sex and the yin and yang of make and female orgasms

[Anonymous No.21974081]

>>21968699
Chief, why are you scrolling the chins while at a restaurant with your parents? Put the phone down and enjoy the time you have with them. Threads come and go, family doesn't.

[Anonymous No.21974099]

>>21973979
Says the anon who couldn't be bothered to include some ideas along with his seething.
Seriously...just how dumb are you?
Something tells me you could pour out your heart and write a pretty good synopsis of "In Celebration Of Solitude" from >>21973640 .

[Anonymous No.21974271]

>>21974099
If I said I'd already written plenty of them, probably the post just before those three, containing ideas, would you believe me? Would it matter? Is the principle any different? This is anon, cunt. You understan?

[Anonymous No.21974282]

>The Rime of the Ancient Neger

>On Cucking

>Revolt Against the Crab Cage

>The Death of George Floyd: Part 1 of the Doctor Chud Series

>Sneedsaga

[Anonymous No.21974311]

>>21973831
>Emeriti Psycho
A daring and supposedly true glimpse into the life of an Arabian Emirates Prince. It has been critically panned for its insinuations that Arabs are a race of psychopaths, and has been banned worldwide for its detailed outline of a “Final Solution to the Sandnigger Question”.

>The Backpacker Diaries
Part travel book, part memoir, all autistic. The diaries of the infamous Detroit Discombobulator, who, in June, 1978, gave every person living on odd numbered streets a severe and permanent case of vertigo courtesy of an icepick.

[Anonymous No.21974321]

>>21974311
I am genuinely interested in the Emirati Psycho. It's always American pov of this of that, but how about an UAE-an?

[Anonymous No.21974395]

>>21971745
Lmfao. Got a good auld laugh outta this one, anon.

[Anonymous No.21974497]

>>21969845
a little disappointed with some of the answers i received, so i think i'll take a crack at these myself.
>>John Barleycorn will not die
a novel about an English village in the 14th century facing a bizarre and unprecedented crisis. For reasons unknown, they are unable to harvest any of their crops, as the grains will not yield to the scythe or the thresher, nor the fruits to hands of those who try to pick them. As the villagers begin to starve, the assistance of the local Baron, monastery, and university are all enlisted and all fail. Finally, just when the villagers begin to leave to avoid starvation, it is discovered that, just as it had come, the malady affecting their crops had likewise disappeared inexplicably. Despite it being a major theme within the book, the cause for why the condition came and why it left are not revealed or even hinted at throughout the book and remains throughout a total and complete mystery.
>>The Hound and the Serpent
honestly, >>21970550 did a really good job, i can't improve on it.
>>Of the Tsars and their Crimes.
A book written at the dawn of the 20th century, written by an anonymous Russian mystic. It deals with the history of the Russian Tsars from their origins to the time of it's writing, and using the many events contained within, some of which are seemingly unsupported by any evidence and even downright supernatural in many cases, as a condemnation of the Tsars, and the very concept of a Russian government. The book ends with a cryptic predication that after the current line perishes, the Russian nation will be punished for supporting the for as long a period of time as the Tsars had existed.

[Anonymous No.21974513]

>>21974497
*honestly, >>21970544 did a really good job, i can't improve on it.

[Anonymous No.21974531]

>>21974271
With witty retorts like "cunt", I doubt you wrote any of the summaries here. You're simply too banal.

[Anonymous No.21974555]

>>21968643
>The Spooks
A hardboiled noir about a detective lounging around in Detroit's suburban drug dens who has a chance encounter with a beautiful boy partaking in the vice. The unlikely partnership to uncover the hidden hand of government black ops mixed with ill-fated romance of a broken youth and random a fatherly figure.
Inspiration:
The Crying of Lot 49, Operation Midnight Climax.

[Anonymous No.21975317]

>>21974282
>Revolt Against the Crab Cage
A fat man vows to change his ways and attain a healthy weight after his father's obesity related death. His progress, posted to social media, gains the ire of a group of coordinated fat activists whose attempts to silence him escalate from passive aggressive insinuations of "fat phobia" to an eventual kidnapping and cock and ball torture. He nevertheless perseveres and discovers that, sans 300lbs" he can simply stroll briskly to evade them.

[Anonymous No.21975383]

>>21972478
>The Negromancer
Biography of Leroy "Wewuzz" Jackson whose jazzy sax solos brought black america out of the darkness of the Jim Crow era and into the more jazzy darkness of single motherhood and crack cocaine. Leroy's deal with the devil is covered only in passing, by way of explaining his eventual default on said deal and time in jail for "beatin that red crackas ass" in a PCP fuelled incident at a local jive hotspot.

[Anonymous No.21977233]

>>21966287
The Bitch And His Fish

[Anonymous No.21977675]

>>21974531
>you're simply too banal
A story written from an internal first person perspective of a character who had been denied access to the eternal hive mind because, as the selector notes, pointing at the compiled references in the analysis report, the characters entire life has already been covered via other previous uploads, and he was "of no extra interest. Just too banal. Clutter" for the integrity of the hive.

The only words the character says outloud, throughout the entire florid, often lyrical internal prose is "you're a cunt anyway"


I've posted way too mamy on here

[Anonymous No.21977684]

>>21974081
We were waiting for the food dammit, also we were tired. I'm not looking at it for a long time, just a peek

But thanks for caring about my family. Love you.

[Anonymous No.21977701]

I've responded to a few so here are mine:
>The Daubed and The Dreary
>Amongst Lemon
>And They Salted Eden
>Chemsex and You
>A Farewell to Sarms