Horror's Call Adventure

[Anonymous No.21940531]

This is the most inappropriate Choose Your Own Adventure style book of all time. Why is F Gardner suck a fucking edgelord?

[Anonymous No.21940567]

sage

[Anonymous No.21940798]

Oooh, a genre that was dead decades ago!
What a chump.

[Anonymous No.21940971]

I read it. It’s kino

[Anonymous No.21941070]

>>21940971
Fuck off Gardner.
Besides, you're lying...if you had actually read it, you might have fixed some of the typos & awful prose.

[Anonymous No.21942071]

It's great. The first time I read a book with multiple endings. A revolutionary book fit for the revolutionist F. Gardner.

[Anonymous No.21942075]

this dude is /lit/ embodied but makes the entire board tremble with rage

[Anonymous No.21942393]

Let me start by saying that "Horrors Call Adventure" is an absolute masterpiece of horror fiction. The author's vivid imagination and masterful storytelling are evident from the very first page, drawing readers into a world of spine-tingling terror and heart-stopping adventure.

The plot is brilliantly crafted, with unexpected twists and turns that keep readers on the edge of their seats, eager to know what will happen next. The characters are richly developed, each with their own unique personalities, strengths, and weaknesses that make them feel like real people rather than mere literary constructs.

But what truly sets "Horrors Call Adventure" apart is the author's use of language. Every sentence is crafted with care, every word chosen to convey maximum impact and emotion. The result is a work of literature that is as beautiful as it is frightening, with descriptions that will linger in the reader's mind long after the final page has been turned.

If you are a fan of horror fiction, or simply appreciate great literature, I cannot recommend "Horrors Call Adventure" highly enough. It is a true tour de force of the genre, and a must-read for anyone who enjoys being scared, thrilled, and moved in equal measure.

[Anonymous No.21942406]

>>21940971
It’s only kino to a retard who has read fewer than 15 books

[Anonymous No.21942563]

>>21942075
It's the shill-spamming and same-fagging that make us tremble with rage.
The unedited pre-kindergarten gibberish that poses as your brain-droppings fills us with revulsion.
You're a failed meme, you've been kicked off of every other site on the Internet, you had literally thousands of fake reviews removed from Amazon and GoodReads, and you will never be relevant.

[Anonymous No.21942599]

>>21942393
Your public masturbation is getting more pathetic by the minute, Gardner.
You're an illiterate, developmentally-disabled alcoholic shut-in NEET, and you know it.

[Anonymous No.21942674]

>>21942393
ChatGPT. It’s impressively easy to recognize, but that is admittedly helped by people like you refusing to remove that automatic double spacing between paragraphs.

[Anonymous No.21942817]

Unrealies seething lmao Gardner reigns supreme!

[Anonymous No.21942826]

>>21940531
Cool, just like that &amp/Unreal CYOA collaboration that was announced a few weeks back. It's so heartwarming to see talented authors lending brilliant ideas to uninspired hacks just so they can feel like they're a part of something important. Congratulations on releasing the first ever /lit/ CYOA. What an accomplishment.

This is just like that time he released the first book on /lit/, the first book about polybius, the first book about the backrooms, the first book about the mandela effect, and the first series of meme books set in Chicago. I sincerely pray that Horror's Call Adventure brings him as much success as those other books.

[Anonymous No.21942838]

>>21942826
Me too...because they brought you no success whatsoever.

[Anonymous No.21942881]

>>21942838
What are you talking about? We have it on the direct word of F Gardner himself that his books have made him famous. Go do a quick google search and you can see for yourself: the world is on fire over the Horror's Call series. Look at his videos: he has shown us the receipts for his royalty payments multiple times, and besides you can see for yourself the opulence in which he lives! If F. Gardner was my son, I would not be disappointed or ashamed in any way whatsoever.

[Anonymous No.21942893]

>>21942881
If F Gardner we’re your son, your name would be Frank Gardner and you would be a disgraced liberal politician removed from your menial office after trying to give your mentallyill son a job doing nothing st tax payer expense, or at least that’s what this article about you two would suggest:
https://southsideweekly.com/something-in-the-water/

[Anonymous No.21942940]

>>21942893
LOOOL I remember this,
Always funny to think how Frank is actually just a neolib onions retard larping as a poltard, getting into flat earth and anti semitic conspiracies because he thinks it’ll make him popular

[Anonymous No.21943000]

>>21942881
You are not famous.
The only royalty-payment "receipts" worth believing are the Amazon rankings for your brain-droppings, which are pathetically low, and will always remain so.
You are effectively nonexistent, except for your spam-shilling and same-fagging on this forum, one that's not capable of banning you for life (unlike nearly every other social-media site out there, which has done so).
And picrel is the house mentioned in the southsideweekly.com article; it's also featured prominently in your stupid videos.

[Anonymous No.21943029]

>>21942893
And here's an article about his bid for political office, before the shit hit the fan:
https://southsideweekly.com/something-in-the-water/

[Anonymous No.21943032]

>>21942940
Hey there, man. So Frank took a chance to make a difference in the world and it didn't pan out. That's no reason to mock someone. Have you considered that maybe Frank doesn't have a lot going on these days? Maybe this is all he has, and it's not very nice of you to try and fuck that up for him. You should remember that Frank has a lawyer for a father. Yeah, go ahead and laugh at the "pathetic daddy's boy wasting his father's time and money to protect his own fragile ego" all you want, Frank's heard it all and you can't get to him. And guess what? You won't be laughing when Frank is hanging out with William Shatner. Did you know that? Did you know that Frank Gardner has been in contact with William Shatner? And you sure as shit won't be laughing when Frank gets your name and sends all your 4chan posts to your family and employer. That is what Frank does to people who fuck with him. He crushes them. Ogden Nesmer, those unreal bitches with their gay little fucking renaissance circlejerk that they wouldn't let Frank into, Zulu Alitspa, John Jay Stancliff, Ogden Nesmer. Gardner has crushed them all and he will crush all challengers. Because you know what? Gardner has hacked reality. He has done DMT and meditated and mastered the art of manifesting, so this is all just part of his little game. He's basically God and you're nothing. What is this even about? Are you jealous of Gardner or something? Please help me to understand because none of this makes any sense WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LIKE HIM ALL HE DOES IS WRITE FUN MEME BOOKS is that a crime? Did I fucking hurt your little gay bitch fucking feelings because your stupid gay little fucking pretentious ass fucking books didn't sell more than mine? Becuase I have more money for ads? Did he fucking trigger you? Too bad. Rent free dude. You're probably just Ogden Nesmer or one of his gay little butt buddies and you're gonna go jerk off because you think you 'got' Frank.

[Anonymous No.21943035]

>>21942893
And here's an article about his bid for political office, before the shit hit the fan:
https://columbiachronicle.com/da2d3194-908a-11e3-9bc4-001a4bcf6878

[Anonymous No.21943052]

>>21943032
Frank, no one is reading this shit.
You’ve succeeded in doing nothing but driving this whole place against you. There are more people familiar with your pathetic personal failures than have ever read your books. You’re not even a joke, you’re just a sad mess.

[Anonymous No.21943057]

>>21943032
OMFG...total schizo.
A screenshot of this post is the closest you'll ever come to being a meme.
>Becuase I have more money for ads?
You pretend you're not you, then you stupidly slip up.
You can't even keep your bullshit story straight.
And no, I will never sympathize with you...because you're a seething schizo same-fagging shill-spamming developmentally-disabled alcoholic asshole.
And you have no power whatsoever. You are not "basically God" and you never will be.

[Anonymous No.21943073]

>>21943032
>in contact with William Shatner
Hearing Shatner say "excuse me" as he walks by you at a convention doesn't count as "contact".
Total pseud.

[Anonymous No.21943093]

>>21943032
Aw, poor baby...do you have something against posting this image?

[Anonymous No.21943128]

>>21943032
Lol

[Anonymous No.21943133]

>>21942881
>do a quick google search
I did...and found this:
https://www.lawyer.com/firm/law-office-of-frank-e-gardner.html
You probably shouldn't suggest we Google you.

[Anonymous No.21943141]

>>21943052
Okay whatever you fucking loser. Everyone knows Frank Gardner is famous, the only thing you're 'pwning' right now is your own credibility. He bought the ads out, he fucking blackmailed every other author into stepping down. He beat you fair and square, if you want to go sell books here then you need to stop being a whiny bitch and go apologize to Frank. Why is that so difficult for you? He was the first 4chan author, and everyone else is a copycat trying to steal Frank's success. Nobody else would've fucking written there boring-ass books that no one cares about if Frank hadn't built up the 4chan audience in the first place. Everyone needs to understand and respect that and then maybe Frank will come back and he might even do you guys a youtube shoutout, pro bono. Oh wait i forgot, you're all too busy 'revising' all the fucking time because you can't write for hit. You guys just fucking hate him for no reason. Go ahead and seethe some more, I can do this all day long.

[Anonymous No.21943156]

>>21943093
I was gonna put it up because it's an example of exactly the type of thing that doesn't bother me. That shit is so immature and stupid. "have sex" okay dude, good one. Franks' is a buddhist, that means he's celibate by choice, lamebrain. Go ahead and keep posting it. I love that picture because guess what: rent free?

[Anonymous No.21943158]

>>21943141
>Okay whatever
Weak excuse for an argument.
>Everyone knows
Literal strawman argument.
>he fucking blackmailed every other author
Are you admitting to a crime?
Didn't your daddy lawyer advise you not to do that?
>He was the first 4chan author
No, that was Jason Bryan, who released "City Of Singles" back in 2013.
You're not even the first 4chan author that lives in your room.
>I can do this all day long.
Great! More schizo memes!

[Anonymous No.21943169]

>>21943156
Even now, you keep switching between 1st person and 3rd person.
You try to pretend you're not you, and you can't even do that.
I mean, I get why you wouldn't want to be you.
And only some Buddhists monks are celibate. Are you claiming to be a monk?

[Anonymous No.21943186]

>>21943169
Learn how to read. You're trying to bother me because I'm an F. Gardner fan but because I'm an F. Gardner fan I know what you're saying about him isn't true, but then I had to take it down because I knew you guys always look for reasons to make fun of F Gardner and you were just going to post it again. And look, I was right.

[Anonymous No.21943204]

>>21943186
You are your only fan, and you know it.
BTW...happy birthday! Some time in the last 10 days, right?

[Anonymous No.21943223]

>>21943186
>because I'm an F. Gardner fan I know what you're saying about him isn't true
Are you implying Gardner fans qualify for access to some special "club" where he divulges personal details?
Because...I sincerely doubt that.

[Anonymous No.21943230]

>>21940798
And it didn’t deserve to
F Gardner is based for helping bring it back

[Anonymous No.21943247]

yeah I’m buying all his books on goymazon just to make you chuds and schizos seethe

[Anonymous No.21943254]

>>21943230
Your attempt to bring the genre back will have absolutely no effect on the world.
And you know that.
Let me guess...you're seething extra hard today because you just had a birthday, and that led you to reflect on the sorry state of your life?
I mean, I get that, but why make other people suffer for your failure to launch?
Consider that most writers only become famous after they're dead.

[Anonymous No.21943264]

>>21943247
We'll be able to verify that by looking at the rankings for your brain-droppings tomorrow, versus today.
And guess what...they'll be unchanged.

[Anonymous No.21943336]

>>21943264
You’re forgetting the sales he will make to his parents, grandparents and siblings who keep supporting him out of collective shame

[Anonymous No.21943446]

>>21943336
Unless you're printing your own books, those sales will show up on Amazon too.

[Anonymous No.21944013]

>>21943000
F. Gardner is a hero to /lit/, he is why many people even attempt to finish novels. You degrade all of /lit/ when you besmirch the gentleman F. Gardner!

[Anonymous No.21944015]

>>21943032
Based af

[Anonymous No.21944018]

>>21943141
Based af

[Anonymous No.21944161]

>>21944013
lol
jason bryan has to ride to gardner's rescue
because the unreal discord trannys handed gardner his ass
and bryan has repeatedly made gardner seethe
oh the humiliation
only 1 thing 2 do...

[Anonymous No.21944269]

>>21944161
Nonsense, Gardner is a hero to me and I think he is the #1 guy on /lit/. The O.G. fearless self-publisher. Based Gardner.

[sage No.21944282]

>>21940531
Fuck off, Gardner.

[Anonymous No.21944284]

>>21944269
er...what you wrote isn't actually a response...

[Anonymous No.21944694]

>>21940798

Incredible. Gardner is now resurrecting dead genres. Does his genius know no limits?

[Anonymous No.21944705]

>>21942075

I tremble with admiration. Gardner is like Hemingway, Asimov, and Faulkner all rolled into one.

[Anonymous No.21944717]

>>21944705
Once I own actual property, I'm going to make the F. Gardner Garden. I will do it Old English style with nice greens, flowers, and hedge rows. I'll have some shade, as well, for writers to lay about and dream their dreams. Need to have some yurts and sponsor young writers to live for free during the seasons.

[Anonymous No.21944727]

Grew up in a neighbourhood where you could run around in people's back gardens and they all looked like this

[Anonymous No.21944739]

>>21943093
Where did he get that kimono?

[Anonymous No.21944767]

>>21943032
Tl;dr please make it concise!

[Anonymous No.21944779]

>F Gardner single-handedly resurrecting CYOA
Unfathomably based.

[Anonymous No.21944823]

>>21944779
When I think of "based", the word "Garnder" is very synchronous with this intent.

[Anonymous No.21944885]

I just made the most delicious poor-writer meal ever:

1 piece of gourmet homemade thick-cut whole wheat bread
1 butcher shop jalapeno and cheese smokie
1 tablespoon of garlic butter
1 tablespoon of Frank's Redhet

Made the nicest home ghetto spicy hot dog.

[Anonymous No.21944890]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vnHJNjwuqg

F. Gardner is the Bilbo Baggins of /lit/

[Anonymous No.21944915]

How much money has F Gardner actually made from his books?

[Anonymous No.21945161]

>>21944915
He has gained so much more soul than money

[Anonymous No.21945266]

>>21945161
So, based on that standard...much less than zero.

[Anonymous No.21945667]

>>21943032
fuck off stop clogging this board. At least the unreal and &amp fags write halfway decently once a blue moon.

[Anonymous No.21946577]

>>21944823
>Garnder
cant even spell his own name haha

[Anonymous No.21946823]

For the record, here's the big list of questions you couldn't answer:
>>21941070
>>21942406
>>21942563
>>21942599
>>21943057
>>21943073
>>21943133
>>21943158
>>21943169
>>21943223
>>21943254
>>21945266
Do you have some sort of mental/emotional problem that prevents you from seeing yourself as the obnoxious, talentless phony that you are?
Do you think your obvious denial is going to work in the future, when it has obviously not worked once in your past?