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/lit/ - Literature

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21940190 No.21940190 [Reply] [Original]

Post them!

>> No.21940204

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJN9mBRX3uo

>> No.21941323
File: 427 KB, 1079x1066, Screenshot_20230422_002040_Brave.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21941323

>> No.21941360

A Jew, a vegan, and an Atheist walk into a bar. Within 5 minutes everybody knows.

>> No.21941400

A man walks into a bar and finds, to his amazement, there's a tiny man on the counter playing a tiny piano.
He asks the bartender where he got him, and the bartender pulls out a magic lamp and says he wished for it.
The man, excited, takes the lamp and shines it, saying, "I wish for a million bucks!"
Out of nowhere, a massive crowd of ducks suddenly appear in the bar, and, after everyone is able to get out, the man is very confused and confronts the bartender.
He asks what's wrong with the lamp, and the bartender says "I think it's a bit hard of hearing. Do you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?"

>> No.21941590

>>21941400
kek

>> No.21941592

>>21940190
>golf
subhuman

>> No.21942251

>>21940204
GOLD

GOD REST THIS LUMP OF COAL

>> No.21942266

>>21940190
>Is it a family name?
What? A family name means a last name. Is this guy asking whether this woman introduced herself with her last name?

Or is he using it to mean (as it has never before meant in English), 'Did you parents give you that name?'

Neither option is remotely plausible. A terrible joke. The punchline doesn't even work, because it's only marginally more ridiculous to name yourself after blowjobs and golf than to name yourself after cars and men.

>> No.21942268 [DELETED] 

>>21941360
Why did it take people five minutes to notice three men walking into the bar?

>> No.21942276

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "and what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

>> No.21942277

One from Zizek:
>In an old Soviet joke, a listener asks Radio Erevan: “Did Rabinovich win a new car in the state lottery?” Radio Erevan replies: “In principle, yes -- he did. Only it was not a car but a bicycle, it was not new but old, and he did not win it, it was stolen from him.”

Another:
>A German worker gets a job in Siberia; aware of how all mail will be read by censors he tells his friends: “Let’s establish a code: if a letter you will get from me is written in ordinary blue ink, it is true; if it is written in red ink, it is false.” After a month, his friends get the first letter, written in blue ink: “Everything is wonderful here; stores are full, food is abundant, apartments are large and properly heated, movie theaters show films from the West, there are many beautiful girls ready for an affair -- the only thing unavailable is red ink."

>> No.21942286

>>21942277
Armenian humor is amazing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmB4DfG-3K4

>> No.21942293

>>21941400
lel nice

>> No.21942356

>>21942286
Are there more of these? Any with russian subtitles?

>> No.21942385

>>21942356
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efeWT1Eu2Rc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVkx1__7P7E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3XfSe_LAFA
Idk about Russian subs.

>> No.21942480

Did you hear that joke about Hegel and negation?

>> No.21942553

>>21941323
Kek

>> No.21942586
File: 311 KB, 306x452, FarSide-StarsTent.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21942586

>>21942276

>> No.21942590

>>21942277
Ronald Regan had some good ones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN3z3eSVG7A

>> No.21942669
File: 103 KB, 788x711, 1527824110421.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21942669

>> No.21942670
File: 939 KB, 3120x1485, 1524867449598.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21942670

>> No.21942748

>>21942480
No kek

>> No.21942749
File: 26 KB, 500x402, graf.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21942749

>> No.21942754
File: 84 KB, 707x605, gorilla.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21942754

>> No.21942938

>>21942266
>What? A family name means a last name
It can also mean a name you give at least one person every generation (frequently the first born to whichever gender the name belongs) but it's rare. The joke was boomer-tier bad though.

>> No.21942977

>>21942670
why not post an actually funny ancient Greek joke?
>a man went to see a pimp, and saw that he had a black prostitute for sale
>so he asked him, "what's your rate for the night?"

>> No.21943060
File: 342 KB, 1962x1082, Screenshot 2023-04-17 at 10.11.37 AM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21943060

A man is walking down the street when he sees another man with a dog. The first man asks
>Does your dog bite?
>No, my dog does not bite.
So the first man kneels down to pet the dog, and the dog bites his hand. He shouts
>You said your dog doesn't bite!
>That's not my dog.
Pic unrel.

>> No.21943262

>>21941400
Formerly Chuck's

>> No.21943290

>>21942277
I've got an East German joke:
>Why do Stasi agents make the best cab drivers?
>They already know who you are and where you're going.

>> No.21943322

>>21943290
The Soviet premier and prime minster were talking one day.
One said "You know, if we opened the borders, we'd be the last two people here!"
The other said "I'm not staying, comrade."