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/lit/ - Literature

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21833456 No.21833456 [Reply] [Original]

I wrote a short story for a competition my university is organizing.
I am hoping for the first prize for the 500 bucks promised, you could say I'm a mercenary writer.
Jokes aside, this is my first "serious" text, and so I kind of shoved every idea that means something to me inside it, be it in a throwaway sentence or in a serious paragraph. But it's just 8 pages and I feel like I heavily saturated the text, it has become schizo tier, everything is basically a metaphor for something and I feel like I should tone it down a notch or two.
Can there less be more? Can a text with less ongoing themes be more meaningful than one chock full of them? Or should I just go ahead and send my unfiltered, unrepentant ramble and hope for the best?
Upon a second read, for the first time ever, I don't feel like cringing at my own words, so that's a good sign at least.

>> No.21833467

Of course it can be too much
Thats like saying can a lecture or conversation with fewer ideas be better
A conversation with an scholar about a singke idea might be more insightfuk than a conversation with a schizo about everything that comes to his mind
Ujity is an important thing in a text and especially in a short story economy is crucial, the reader getting the feeling that you said nothing more nothing less than the necessary
Each oart should be reinforcing the other
That being said if youre really good you can pull it off

>> No.21833471

Yeah, maybe I should cut down on the pretentiousness and remove a few sentences that make me feel really smart but don't fit too well where they are placed.

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