POETRY THREAD

[Anonymous No.21809730]

This is your fortnightly UN-mandated /lit/ poetry thread.
Make it rhyme this time edition.

Prompts of the thread are: "sheep dipped" "rat fucked" and "golden calf".

Have fun with it, post some OC, give helpful feedback.
Go!

starting with a reading of some oc:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FI6xJNEiYw

[Anonymous No.21809754]

OP is a poem stealer.

[Anonymous No.21809765]

>>21809730
https://youtu.be/LvIwwB7Adq0
Exodus 33:20

[Anonymous No.21809881]

>>21809730
here's one that rhymes for that lovable old sheepfucker Auden. Was messing around with clerihews and took some liberties w the form but I think it works formally?

Auden’s Sketch


When Auden would broaden
In September his member
His noise scared the boys
Heading home

In Iceland with vice-men
Wynstan would then listen
To Yates as he basted
A tome

To Yates he would beckon
And foolishly reckon
But ever in his
Monotone

Yates would reply
With that tired old sigh
Stop all the cocks
And sweep up the old bone

[Anonymous No.21809964]

... to check out the poetry thread,
shamelessly copy all poems
from clean cut anonymous posts...

[Anonymous No.21809983]

>>21809730
I hate those swarthy niggers
I kill them
with weapons bought from Eastern dealers

[Anonymous No.21809996]

*Crowd is buzzing for with excitement amongst themselves. Buk steps up to the mic. Dead silence endsues.*

>I farted

*Crowd erupts into a deafening roar.

[Anonymous No.21810012]

>>21809765
That's a good poem.
>>21809881
Are you talking about Richard Yates? And if so, why?

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.21810041]

>>21809881
I’ll post your scansion, I dislike that you only kept the the internal rhyme for the first two stanzas in the first line and didn’t have all four first lines repeat it.

when AUD/en WOULD/ BROAD-en
IN sep/TEM-ber/his MEM/ber
his NOISE/SCARED the/ BOYS
HEAD-ing/HOME

in ICE/lin with/VICE-min (though there’s ambiguity here, icelin is supposed to rhyme with vice min, but the circumstance would prefer vice men be read as a spondee since you have the pyrrhic prior
WIN-stin/ WOULD then/ LIST-en
to YATES/ as HE/ BAST-ed
a TOME

to YATES he WOULD BECK-in
and FOOL/ish-LY/ RECK-in
but EV/er IN/ his
MAA-nuh/TONE

YATES would/ ruh-PLY/
WITH that/ TAI-urd/ OLD sigh
stop ALL/ the COCKS
and SWEEP/ UP the/ old BONE

Over all its roughly supposed to be predominantly three stressed syllables per line, but I feel there’s a lot of ambiguity, there’s also choices that don’t quite spark joy kek, “basted” I disliked

And perhaps the third stanza is intentionally supposed to be not so musical and monotone but intentional ugliness is still ugliness.

Have you tried to playing with normal iambic pentameter? I think it would let you play around looser if you got decent with it.

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.21810060]

Oh uh I haven’t written today I’ll begin writing one in a little while and try to finish it today so I can post it.

In the most for a medium length.

[Anonymous No.21810092]

>>21810012
lol no im just goofy and forgot to spell Yeats's name right.

>>21810041
thanks for scannin. I was planning on keeping the internal gag going on for all the stanzas but it seemed to be outliving its welcome, I ended up enjoying the sort of doggerel-esque turns from the first 2 stanzas to the final 2. It gives it a sort of hooligan chant appeal. I have to insist on "basted" lmao, its a poem of Auden being a pervert and Yeats in his own Golden Dawn ass way is being one himself as well, or so the poem jokes. That third stanza is sort of the turnaround as I see it, and the final stanza a sort of modified return to the head.

I have in fact played with pentameter, I prefer it and often revert to it to be honest. Thanks again for the detailed reply its appreciated!

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.21810126]

>>21810092
If you’re into the golden dawn related writers, have you checked out any Arthur machen? His little bit of verse is only okay but his prose is really nice and his few works on occultism itself are worth the read.

[Anonymous No.21810145]

>>21810126

I dont! Ill have to check that out; thank you. I found it interesting lately to find our Pound was in pretty regular correspondence with editors of the New Age; which had alot of an occult bent itself; if not entirely.

[Anonymous No.21810378]

Recent excerpt from enormous 9000+ word poem. Still in progress.

[Anonymous No.21811634]

How do you write your poems? Just funposting, written out by hand, word doc on the computer, typewriter?

[Anonymous No.21812073]

Abortion clinics and liquor stores
Used up diseased filthy whores
Apartment blocks of melted smack
Houses devoted to the crack

[Anonymous No.21812196]

Remember when Americucks tried to make trochaic tetrameter a thing and got absolutely BTFO by iambic pentameter Chads?

Good times

[Anonymous No.21813402]

the thread needs a bump
I will try to write something
looks like I am stumped

[Anonymous No.21813883]

Sun rise love sighs,
Rumbling train track heart racks,
Rolling road; future goes
Around the bend
Where the end
Sets in out of sight
Love sighs

[Anonymous No.21813937]

>>21811634
Phone. That way I can keep the poem in the back of my mind through the day and mess with it as ideas come to me

[Anonymous No.21815335]

old 'toss

[Anonymous No.21816789]

morning in a haze
hair a mess, eyes ablaze
how I miss those days

[Anonymous No.21817276]

>>21810378
Are the ellipses for caesuras?

[Anonymous No.21818478]

>>21817276
Yes, but of indefinite (and probably inconsistent, although I'd have to reread) time value.

[Anonymous No.21818513]

the poetry thread with boobs was better

[Anonymous No.21819343]

Can someone explain how stressed syllables in iambic pentameter work in a way that makes sense. It wont click for me. Stressed syllables seem arbitrary.

Also can someone pick out the meter and stresses in these lines:

Pink lady show-stopper with slipppers of silk
Slow dances through ballrooms of pinecones and peat

[Anonymous No.21819840]

>>21809730
not mine but it was the first poem I read after watching this video. I feel like an entire world has opened to me now that I finally understand how to enjoy it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjwJQ0NVyYc

>Poem 001: Introduction to Poetry
I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,
or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.
—Billy Collins

[Anonymous No.21819856]

>>21809730
ok i'll try one

the humming in and out
my mind conceals, my mind reveals
my ears perceive

a car alarm, swinging back and forth
the same motion, backgrounded by
the computer noise, even so
my thoughts, silent as they are
get louder than both

how did I do?

[Anonymous No.21819862]

>>21813883
are you in a train daydreaming about your failed romantic experiences in the past watching the sun rise?

[Anonymous No.21820369]

>>21819343
You should be reading it naturally. Also, the grammatical function of the word and its class will affect its stress. Nouns and vebbs have more stress than others.

Pink3 lad4y1 show4-stopp3er with1 slipp4ers of1 silk4
Slow3 dan4ces through1 ball4rooms3 of1 pine4cones and1 peat4

I started to scan it with a one through four thinking that it was iambic pentameter but now I think is is anapestic.

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.21820396]

>>21819343
See >>21808019


Pink lady show-stopper with slipppers of silk
Slow dances through ballrooms of pinecones and peat

pink LAY/dee SHOW/ STOP-per/ with SLIP/pers of/ SILK
slow DANCE/es THROUGH/ ball ROOMS/ of PINE/cones and/ PEAT

[Anonymous No.21820501]

>>21819862
>the first reply to one of my poems is a plot breakdown
Yeah, you got it. Inspired by longing rather than regret or memory, but the poem does support that more

[Anonymous No.21821770]

>>21819856
I hate being woken up by an alarm.

[Anonymous No.21822574]

Saving the thread from the fjords

[Anonymous No.21822587]

>>21819343
Be obnoxious:
>and SO aLONE he STOOD, unTAUGHT to FEAR. ty DIDes SPOKE: "the MAN you SEEK is HERE".
Be less obnoxious
>and so alone he stood, untaught to fear. Tydides spoke: "the man you seek is here".
Now separate the lines.
>and so alone he stood, untaught to fear.
>Tydides spoke: "the man you seek is here".

[Anonymous No.21823342]

do I need to read this?

[Anonymous No.21824604]

>>21823342
No you just need to read lots of good poetry.

[Anonymous No.21824613]

>>21823342
if you need something

[Anonymous No.21824759]

>>21809730
Pharaoh cut my son in half
Lost my keys in the folds of my fat
And my sheep dipped golden calf
Rat fucked by a democrat

[Anonymous No.21825475]

You anons know anyone to follow on social media who is /our poet/?

[Anonymous No.21825657]

>>21809730
I wrote this 3 months ago in relationship panic time and even now I can't work out if the ambiguity and instability and sense of betrayal normalisation is just an excuse to let myself use 4chan inspired terminology to paint how I feel about my life

[Anonymous No.21825768]

>>21813883
Another love poem. I refuse to stop thinking about this girl

I want to fall
Like how the sands sink in
The cared for hourglass wall;
To where more dreams might begin
Of day-long walks through life's hall.

I want to rise
Like how the flower will blossom
When sun rays brings warm days:
Minds runway brings thoughts whim
In night-time talks of our mind's eyes.

I want to rise and fall
Day-in and night-through
Days, weeks, years, all,
Together with you.

[Anonymous No.21826128]

>>21825768
second stanza is pretty ass desu senpai

[Anonymous No.21826881]

How wicked must I be?
A whiter devil than a yeti
more prideful than the Serengeti
slipping from an icy bluff?
How evil must I be?

[Anonymous No.21826885]

i like poetry but i dont know how to mentally read it, is there a specific pace?

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.21826964]

>>21826885
Just try to subvocalize and read in pace with what feels normal for the line, if you have trouble finding it, poetry is designed to be recited so just recite a line or two and see how it sounds best to actually say it. There’s also 0 wrong with listening to poetry recited on YouTube or the like, since poetry was always listened to historically.

[Anonymous No.21827061]

>>21826128
Yeah. Will probably rewrite it
Is the rest alright?

[Anonymous No.21828588]

bump

[Anonymous No.21829424]

Wrote this with a headache and a fever, hopefully that doesn't come across but It was harder work then usual.

micz.substack.com/p/dannunzio-the-last-days-of-mankind

[Anonymous No.21829473]

>>21829424
The Vittoriale is one of the most beautiful places in all of Italy. More people should know about it

[Anonymous No.21829558]

>>21829424
You're probably the best we get here

[Anonymous No.21829563]

Wrote this about my wife:

When great fires consume mills made of paper
Heaven’s blood paints the tips of skyscrapers
The prizefighter leaves his prizes in pulps
And a swallowtail sees his hindwings gulped
Then that is when you may know for certain
That you are something more than a burden

[Anonymous No.21829590]

>>21829558
Thank you.
I try.

>>21829473
It is. I was there 2 years ago during a brutal rainstorm that knocked down some of the original trees. I hid inside the mausoleum and just listened to the sound of hell brewing outside.
Quite the experience.

[Anonymous No.21829591]

>>21829424
Great

[Anonymous No.21829629]

>>21825768
Are you a lesbian?

[Anonymous No.21829640]

>>21813402
Best poem in the thread

[Anonymous No.21829788]

>>21829424
Good work, as usual.
If your don't mind, how many views can I expect from here. You've inspired me to try my hand at some micro fiction.

[Anonymous No.21829863]

>>21829788
Gosh, substack is not very good at telling you where the views came from but most of this is from 4chan. The answer is not too many, 150 on average. Here is the recent one.

But good luck with your fiction. i was a little dismissive of the short, short story until i read Lydia Davis. It's not that far from poetry and being prose there should be more of an audience for it.

>>21829591
Thanks =)

[Anonymous No.21829913]

>>21829863
I just read everything on your stack, you're quite good. How long have you been writing?

[Anonymous No.21830027]

>>21829629
No lmao
What made you think that? Do I write like a lesbian?

[Anonymous No.21830044]

>>21829913
Three to four years, though with some interruptions .
A year of salving away at some half baked adolescent efforts, full of emotion and not much else. Then a multi year break during which i read, everything i could get my hands on.
Then another year of slightly overwrought poesy about how pretty girls dont get me, or something like that, which i had the terrible luck of actually getting published. Then another break, and now here we are.

Hopefully im writing a little better now, and it wont have to be memory holed again.
I am really glad you liked it though. There is too much fast work out there, i try to put out real poetry, properly finished and as polished as i can get it.

If you liked it then you are more then welcome to subscribe (still cant write that without a blush)

[Anonymous No.21830178]

You're heading for tomorrow
Down a street that's leading nowhere
Thinking this is what it means to really be alive

You walk in no directions
Which is really where you're going
And tomorrow may be gone when you arrive

You walk along the sidewalk
Maybe looking in the windows
And you see your own reflection and that's all
It stares at you in silence, but it comes and goes in flashes
Brightened by the full black shadows on the wall

Your life is like a movie that you're watching from the back row
If you thought that you could change it, would you try?
Will it have a happy ending?
Would you know it if it happened?
Are you really gonna sit and watch your life go by?

When the story's finally ended
Will you see that it is over
And all you did was sit and watch your life go by?

[Anonymous No.21830201]

>>21826881
This is almost limmerick-tier

[Anonymous No.21830206]

>>21830027
Yes

[Anonymous No.21830218]

"Young Arousers"

We can show you things you can't learn school
We can show you runnin' like you never knew

We're young arousers
Come feel the power
We're young arousers
We'll shout it out louder

We can teach a lesson that can turn your head
We can show you good times
Our classroom is a mess

We're young arousers

[Anonymous No.21830224]

bump

[Anonymous No.21830236]

>>21830201
wym?

[Anonymous No.21830262]

>>21830236
It's too silly

[Anonymous No.21830280]

Fuck house arrest
It's not the best
It's worse
Than a curse

[Anonymous No.21830299]

>>21827061
Rewrite the first stanza too. The third is ok.

[Anonymous No.21830319]

>>21830299
fugg :DD
I liked the first stanza. Why's it not work?
I can tell the second is internally stilted and the rhymes are forced, but I'm nose blind to the first

[Anonymous No.21830324]

>>21829424
That's quite interesting, you should do a whole series of these portraits of historical figures.

Can't imagine anyone would be willing to publish something so obscure, but if you don't care I'm more than happy to read it.

[Anonymous No.21830491]

>>21830324
They will probably accumulate over time. Auden did a whole series of them and people like Lowell briefly did nothing but. Heck, my favorite books of Robert Browning's is called Parleyings with Certain People of Importance in Their Day which is nothing but conversational poems with people so obscure most dont have Wikipedia pages.

By now It's a tradition, but I try not to stick to any genre for too long or i get absolutely sick of it.

Funnily enough the Dorothy Osborne pov might be one of my first published poems.

[Anonymous No.21830492]

I want to see you naked on my bed
Full on dirty red
With that smile you pull
That makes me feel ooh so full

Yea open your heart and look at me now.
Put your legs around.
Whisper in my ear
That you want me, Cherie.

Play with my hair, laugh in the air. Love,
I want you so much.
Kill me with your touch.
Make me forget with a rush.

[Anonymous No.21830548]

None of you sheep dipped glowie cunts
Used the prompt god damn
All your golden calfs are runts
And this thread is a scam

[Anonymous No.21830567]

>>21830491
>Parleyings with Certain People of Importance in Their Day

Loo

[Anonymous No.21830569]

>>21830567
It target lol
They is something about that convoluted title that makes me laugh

[Anonymous No.21830593]

>>21830569
don't knock it. It's excellent, though quite difficult as Browning tends to be.

[Anonymous No.21830682]

>>21830593
Is this the true power of poetry?
How strange! — but, first of all, the little fact
Which led my fancy forth. This bitter morn
Showed me no object in the stretch forlorn
Of garden-ground beneath my window, backed
By yon worn wall wherefrom the creeper, tacked
To clothe its brickwork, hangs now, rent and racked
By five months' cruel winter, — showed no torn
And tattered ravage worse for eyes to see
Than just one ugly space of clearance, left
Bare even of the bones which used to be
Warm wrappage, safe embracement: this one cleft —
— O what a life and beauty filled it up
Startlingly, when methought the rude clay cup
Ran over with poured bright wine! 'Twas a bird
Breast-deep there, tugging at his prize, deterred
No whit by the fast-falling snow-flake: gain
Such prize my blackcap must by might and main —
The cloth-shred, still a-flutter from its nail
That fixed a spray once. Now, what told the tale
To thee, — no townsman but born orchard-thief, —
That here — surpassing moss-tuft, beard from sheaf
Of sun-scorched barley, horsehairs long and stout,
All proper country-pillage — here, no doubt,
Was just the scrap to steal should line thy nest
Superbly? Off he flew, his bill possessed
The booty sure to set his wife's each wing
Greenly a-quiver. How they climb and cling,
Hang parrot-wise to bough, these blackcaps! Strange
Seemed to a city-dweller that the finch
Should stray so far to forage: at a pinch,
Was not the fine wool's self within his range
— Filchings on every fence? But no: the need
Was of this rag of manufacture, spoiled
By art, and yet by nature near unsoiled,
New-suited to what scheming finch would breed
In comfort, this uncomfortable March.

[Anonymous No.21830744]

>>21815335
>that wispy

[Anonymous No.21831591]

>>21809730
I'm so balanced like yogic asana,
But psychotic like I'm Jeffrey Dahmer,
If I kill you and boil you down, it's just karma
I'm a waking demigod, like I'm in Pegana

[Anonymous No.21832555]

A family may move in and add to blend
Another patch of cloth that death will rend
And quilt to me; this house can barely say
Another word should deeper fugue inveigh
Against itself another pipe and slight
The organ; the harmony is now quite
Above; after four voices will assuage
Any further voices; and in this age
How many in many voices will say
None to none and in cathedral play
Too high or low in trees as rotting fruit
And who will circle this verse and say “cute”

The battle never fought lies never won
Now my house will symbolize decay’s fun
Stretched across my skin to remove all doubt
Carpenter bees climb in to pull me out
As from a caved-in mine from early age
When townies acted far below the stage
And in their turns the birds would pantomime
The miner’s death in caged but human time
The birds like clocks would chime with one fell broom
A watch’s jewel lies still in one small room

[Anonymous No.21832708]

>>21831591
>two completely artless similes in only four lines of nigger-brained rap lyrics
Go away, retard.

[Anonymous No.21833074]

>>21832708
Shiiii how I got 10 poems published tho fr ong
You mf 4chan racists think you can say shit
but when it comes to showing ya stripes,
you only come up with ya anti-bacterial wuhan wipes,
you ain't got poetic flow nor riddim, aint got it,
you don't got to spit the venom enema, my friendly enemy.

[Anonymous No.21833422]

>>21833074
>Shiiii how I got 10 poems published tho fr ong
I'm gonna guess... affirmative action. I don't know how the "colored folk" can feel accomplished when so many resources are entirely devoted to dressing up an ape in an evening gown, so to speak. I know for a fact that I would be cripplingly insecure if I were a purple skinned spear-chucker with a publishing credit. I would see looking, extraneous influences around each and every corner; wonder if my "accomplishments" were due to my own talent and hard work or if space was only made for me because I tick some demographic boxes. In an era where it's harder than ever to be one, I am proud to be a White Male... the real "nigger" of the publishing world. It's a shame I'm not DeSquarious Limitless from the fo'hunnid block. They'd be setting me up to be the next W.E.B.

Nigger.

[Anonymous No.21834236]

>>21819856
2/10

>>21825768
4/10

>>21829424
8/10

>>21830492
6/10

I will not elaborate.

[Anonymous No.21834291]

>>21834236
>>21833422
even the laziest review post is worth 100x frothing seethe

[Anonymous No.21834323]

>>21834291
Any amount of seethe is a million times better than apathy you disgusting shell of a man.

[Anonymous No.21834351]

>>21830319
no sauce

[Anonymous No.21834362]

>>21833422
I'm not black. I have no reason to claim myself into that regal community of melaninated gods and goddesses, no, no, I myself belong to the tribe of Judea, and we are a noble people, of law and custom, something which you direly need to adjust yourself to, O philistine of the "pooetry" thread, i.e., 4channel dot org slash lit slash thread slash 21809730

[Anonymous No.21834951]

>>21834236
>6/10
I deserve at least a 7/10 you bastard

[Anonymous No.21834980]

>>21834236
>4/10
I deserve at most a 3/10 you babe

[Anonymous No.21835184]

They called him a buck, strong and wild,
And sought to break him, like an unruly child.
They stripped him bare, and tied him down,
And forced him to submit, with every lash and frown.

They thought they could break him, with their cruel might,
And crush his spirit, in the darkness of the night.
They thought they could tame him, with their chains and their pain,
But little did they know, of the fire that remained.

He was a warrior, with a heart so true,
A spirit unbroken, in the face of their cruel stew.
He endured the buck breaking, with a will to survive,
His unbroken spirit, shining bright and alive.

For they could take his freedom, and his rights too,
But they could not take, his spirit so true.
He stood tall and strong, in the face of their lust,
His spirit unbreakable, his courage a must.

So let us remember, the broken bucks of old,
And honor their memory, with stories so bold.
Let us fight for justice, with our hearts and our might,
And keep their spirit alive, in the face of the night.

For the legacy of buck breaking, must never be forgotten,
And the spirit of those who endured, must never be broken

[Anonymous No.21835286]

>>21835184
what a beautiful duwang

[Anonymous No.21835365]

1 Matter of Fact

And when I had looked
I was alarmed to find
There on the horizon
A strange and dark form under shadowing me
Looking back
Poking out at me
As if through the curtain
Of space and time
Yet when I recognized that it was nothing
But only a Restless Ruffian
Who Would Have Thee Sorrowing
By name of
Johnny
“The Cracked Creaking Crooked Cigar”
Scratch-Ugattz
Who’s sole disposition in life was
The leathering of the incorporeal pallet
The spelunking of the Marianas trench reward paths of the mind
And the reorganization
Re-orchestration
And rearrangement
Of predilection and proclivities
Who with him brings veritable feasts of flesh
Seemingly seamless miasmas
And ceaselessly intersecting appetizers of appeasement
Presented for the bedazzling of eyes
Practiced in provocatively persuading
By way of predicating and perpetuating precarious promises
Extending invitation to monstrous minutia's of mimicry
Via the exuding of a positively predatory perfumed potion
From every organ and orifice
Believably and belovedly beheld and enthroned
By those who swallow and sojourn therein

[Anonymous No.21835371]

2 I rested easy
As naturally it became me
To make short work and quick sport of him
And his feeble attempt at ushering our conglomerate
So as to reach the sapping of our precious bodily fluids
By means of the contorting of predisposition
Of any and all metaphysical pallets
With insufferably insatiable appetites
As such he scampered away without delay
Or further show of efforts
Trailing behind him
Only the haze of high noon
And the reek of shit in britches
But farther on the horizon I beheld
That Which Is Greater
I saw a Funny Little Old Man
Who Lived in a Jar
And He was making Big Lists
And no one knew
What for
Nor why
And they grew and grew
From all the things
That He’d knew and renew

[Anonymous No.21835382]

3 Which the Restless Ruffian
Who Would Have Thee Sorrowing
By name of
Johnny
“The Cracked Creaking Crooked Cigar”
Scratch-Ugattz
Who’s sole disposition in life was
The leathering of the incorporeal pallet
The spelunking of the Marianas trench reward paths of the mind
And the reorganization
Re-orchestration
And rearrangement
Of predilection and proclivities
Who with him brings veritable feasts of flesh
Seemingly seamless miasmas
And ceaselessly intersecting appetizers of appeasement
Presented for the bedazzling of eyes
Practiced in provocatively persuading
By way of predicating and perpetuating precarious promises
Extending invitation to monstrous minutia's of mimicry
Via the exuding of a positively predatory perfumed potion
From every organ and orifice
Believably and belovedly beheld and enthroned
By those who swallow and sojourn therein
Was seeking so feebly
To capture and deflect all observance therefrom
Whilst reeking so bleakly of death
Squalor
And dumb
But the vainglorious efforts were ever waning
Dwindling quite rapidly as it were
Till the final snuffing out
Yes
The charismatic charade had all but run up
Until finally reaching an opportunely anticlimactic end
Peaked by a predilection of poetic justice
By way of the Foremost Natural Primary Effort
Namely
The continually increasing quota
Of the Big Lists
Of the Funny Little Old Man
Who Lived in a Jar
To have quantified them as magnanimous
Would have been a gross understatement
To have considered them comprehensible
Would have been a grave miss-assumption
To have claimed them procured and processed
Would have been a genuine misappropriation of facts
Any and all attempted consolidation was utterly fruitless
For the compiled concoction having become fecundate
Fertile
And wholly overbearing

[Anonymous No.21835388]

4 The Bottom Within having come so to rise
Left with it no margin
No
None at all
For such pedantic shenanigans
And so things went on
Till
Once upon
Having reached a span previously never before seen
Accounting a properly massive size
And indeed coming to be composed
Of an entirely unquantifiable
And quite undefinable number
The Matter became entirely unavoidable
Unknown and unaccounted for
The ensuing event
Was unpreventable and unassailable
Exceptionally unprecedented
And entirely unparalleled
The Big Lists having reached such proportion
That nothing further could have curtailed
Nor prevented it
Such was the magnitude
That it brought with it the very redefinition of “kablewie”
Raised to the light of new dimensions
That which is
Was
And ever shall be
Namely
The Full Unbridled Observance
Of the Big Lists
Of the Funny Little Old Man
Who Lived in a Jar
And when it came
It was with a mighty roar
Smoke
Fire
And the Odor of Sanctity

[Anonymous No.21835516]

>>21835365
>The leathering of the incorporeal pallet
I enjoyed it up until this point. You were using plain language but then all of a sudden you got modern on us.

[Anonymous No.21836548]

Starlight city, smile at every stranger
And you make it feel like home
Starstruck city, you're acting out the hours
Pretending they are your very own
The key for action, satisfaction
All of those dreams come true

I saw what I needed, only secreted
Fooling myself in moving to this smoggy city
It didn't take a long time at all to breathe it up
Smoggy city, only took a moment
To walk five miles and look around

I hear your laughter
The morning after
Somehow, I've come of age
Deep in this moonlight
Smoggy, confused light
And all that clubber brouhaha
Was just a phase

Smoggy city, waiting in a cloud of rain
Be my friend
You look so pretty when you get upon the leaves
Find your heart again

[Anonymous No.21837462]

bump

[Anonymous No.21838735]

>>21835516
the extremely long and repeated description of Johnny "The Cracked Creaking Crooked Cigar" Scratch-Ugattz which also serves as his legal name and title is intentionally put in to rustle the jimmies of the reader. reminiscent of certain tales by the Brothers Grimm which have often repeated statements which make up a significant portion of the pieces. Its because these keys were used as subtle clues to readers who were left wondering why something so seemingly unnecessary or silly was being taken so seriously. This piece entitled "Matter of Fact" (admitting upfront I stole the title from a John Maus song) is dedicated to them, The Brothers Grimm.

[Anonymous No.21838754]

>>21836548
this is a good start, trying forcing it less and just waiting when your not ready to write.

[Anonymous No.21838773]

>>21835184
this one is Gold

here is two fun (dumb) pieces I wrote, the first is actually a sketch but the second is a poem

Monday night, closing hour at local village saloon
By name of Gunther's
Extremely petit and frail blonde lady tending Bar
40+ and still in pigtails
Her name is not Gunther
Man enters and removes hat
Pushing 29 but appearing to push 60
Sad grimace and bright green windbreaker
Remaining entirely calm and unemotional
A look of being of the verge of tears is in his eyes
Fenced in by an expression of utter seriousness
Orders a shot of bourbon
Sips off half of it and calmly looks up at the aloof bartendress with deep but gated concern
***
Gunther
I'm worried about you
We've been noticing that you've been living fast and loose lately
And that you haven't been yourself
I don’t know what we are gonna do about this
But I’m deeply concerned
And I felt we needed to tell you
We've been talking things over
And came up with some ideas
I think we might able to help you out

***

And thats when it happened
Just like that
The recognition of reality
Rested rightly
With the facts presented
Neat and tightly
A precipitation of pose
Gently settling down
Like someone playing piano
Calm and politely
And then it was I knew
How to recycle and renew
How to remind my cold soul
And rekindle old brew
The observance and measure
The continual sting
The constant endeavor
The consuming of sin
To have it all laid before me
I was taken aghast
The first chapter now over
The second coming up fast
When the cycle completing
When the cords been undone
When ends the unknowing
And the lights all been strung
Open
Your
Eyes
To
The
World
144,000
Forgiven of sin
The Kingdom is opened
All chips are cashed in
Lord Thou do grant grace
And God dineth in thee
A crystalline gold
Made light as the sea
The completing of all
Before you and me
Open
Your
Eyes
To
The
World

[Anonymous No.21839971]

Submit to Unreal!
We're taking poetry for our next Tales of The Unreal Release, really going all in on this Weird Tales homage(including book reviews!).

[e-mail]

[Anonymous No.21839990]

>>21838754
Which parts feel forced?

[Anonymous No.21840580]

>>21839971
Sent from lucie

[Anonymous No.21840721]

>>21840580
Thanks!