Writing Improvement

[R No.21498951]

[Thread pic is relating to my current face with this problem]

I'm back, time asking /lit/ for help on a matter with writing improvemen what with wording and all.

As of right now, I've been told I got a wording issue, yet I'm unsure if it's related to the fact of prose. And I'm trying to solve this problem with reading and checking out Stephen King (my idol)'s early and early but great as shit stuff with prose and the way he writes out things.

I feel like It's not going well and I might not be gaining anything improving or such? Any opinions, advice, thoughts, etc from your mind about this?

[Anonymous No.21499000]

>>21498951
Use the writing general, faggot

[Anonymous No.21499005]

Are they referring to your grammar and sentence structure? Idk what your writing is like or in what language, but if it's anything like your post then it needs work.

[R No.21499041]

>>21499000
Gee, people like you have such a absurd abuse use of profanity.

>>21499005
I'm unsure, just said what with wording, so it may be latter? Also english since obviously.

I can show you what i mean? I got this finished up first act work down after a bit of reworking.

[Anonymous No.21499054]

>>21498951
Chances are it means you use words incorrectly. Get a good dictionary with usage examples.

[Anonymous No.21499096]

>>21498951
Consider consuming less caffeine.

[Anonymous No.21499135]

>>21498951
>I'm back. This time asking /lit/ for help on the matter of improving my writing—with wording and all. As of right now, I've been told I have a wording issue; yet I'm unsure if it is related to prose. I'm trying to solve this problem by reading and referencing Stephen King's early (and earlier)—but great as shit—stuff. I.e. his prose, technique and manner of writing. I feel as if it's not going well, and I might not be gaining any improvement.
>Any opinions, advice, thoughts, etc...?
Yes; stop reading Stephen King. Read Samuel Johnson's essays, or Swann's Way by Proust.

[R No.21499327]

>>21499054
...Probably?

>>21499096
...Theres differnt reasons, but fuck you for that.

>>21499135
But stephen king is good what with concept ideas, also idk what those 2 have/do even with their works? Some kind of writing tutorial?

Anyway, I got these lines from my draft work:

The doorknob, and the door around it as a whole, gave way to break, loving a hanging metallic knob out of its place.

He's moves back, towards his drawer next to the bed, using it like a physical and emotional crutch as he watched the door swing open.

Out the door came swinging in, hitting hard against the wall from the weight of an unwashed man with a face filthy and an uncared beard.

[Anonymous No.21499443]

>>21499327
>...Probably?
Most likely. It is possible that it is a failing of the readers vocabulary but that is also partially your failing, possibly completely your failing. You need to know how your audience uses language.

[Anonymous No.21499461]

>>21499327
>Some kind of writing tutorial?
Somewhat, yes. They write well, and through exposure you will subconsciously improve.
>The doorknob—and the door around it—gave way; leaving the knob hanging out of place. He backs towards his bed-side drawer, using it like a physical and emotional crutch as he watch the door swing open. Through doorway came an unwashed man with filthy face and unkempt beard who dash himself against the wall.
I don't believe what I've here offered you as fixes suffice for good writing. Your writing is quite bad. I mean no offense by that, but it is true. You seem possessed of some sentence-schematic which you do not stray from. It seems to go like this: [Clause], [Minor clause], [Final clause]. Try reading a plethora of authors and not just King.

[R No.21499551]

>>21499443
>>21499461

I uh...don't really know how to make that work? saying this for the first guy with the caffine shit?

For the second guy, uh huh. But your saying then I should read the other two books and do that while doing king's and I can get somewhere?

Are there free pdfs of these tutorial books btw?

[R No.21499564]

what is a clause btw? I didn't expect there would be this much workings in the wording work.

[Anonymous No.21499576]

>>21499551
>I should read the other two books and do that wile doing King's
No, stop reading King. You must read other authors.
>Are there free pdfs...?
Yes. https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/577/pg577.html
https://libgen.is/fiction/770BA32BF0002758B795DB51A1D88638 (This is an EPUB, so you need special software to view this)

[Anonymous No.21499577]

>>21499564
A clause is a complete packet of information. “You are a fag” is a clause. “You” is just one word. Generally commas, colons and even dashes are used to separate sentences with different clauses neatly: colons are good for small clauses within a longer clause. A semicolon is okay and looks ugly; it works for two clauses that are connected but could also be separate. The easiest way to start out is just to use a comma, you’ll find it comes easiest.

Real patricians use the em dash but it’s like free verse poetry—because it can go anywhere, you need to know exactly where to put it.

[Anonymous No.21499593]

>>21499564
A clause is a complete or incomplete sentence. For example, "For example" is a clause, but it is not a complete sentence; thus it cannot stand alone. It must be accompanied by a further clause which IS complete. A clause which cannot stand alone is called a 'dependent clause' because it depends on other clauses. A clause which CAN stand alone is called an 'independent clause' because it is independent. "I am a writer" is an independent clause because it can stand alone as a complete sentence. You know a clause is independent because it expresses a complete thought and doesn't leave you hanging.

[Anonymous No.21499647]

>>21499000
fpbp

>>21498951
>treading water
You must earn the maximalist and purple moments by creating space. You do this with syntactic efficiency. If you do this well, it will have flow, even music. The image and space must be clear in your mind first. If it is not, it will be like a rough paraphrastic translation of poetry from another language that hasn't brought to bear the requirements of the target language for it to be passable within it, except in your own thought and intention for text's reception. If a thing can be said in fewer words, you have to justify those decisions to yourself in Editorial Mode. Be a butcher, know the cuts, trim the right amount of fat for maximum flavor and moisture retention. Most people do not avail themselves of all the possibilities of punctuation. If there's room for creativeness, it would be there in the editing phase. You likely have more options to turn a phrase with that.

King's strength is the story. That carries him and his otherwise middling and worse composition. If the story and image is good, you can get away with taking liberties.

[Anonymous No.21500703]

>>21499647
Thanks for this. My professors used to attack maximalism and purple prose almost irrationally and never really thought it could be used well. Food for thought.

[Anonymous No.21500717]

>>21499461
>>21499576
>>21499577
>>21499593
It almost beggars belief that you all have the patience—no, the tenacity—to spoon-feed OP. Deaf ears never hear, alas.

[Anonymous No.21500750]

>>21498951
Read The Wheel of Time and come back

[Anonymous No.21500770]

>>21500717
I have hope. He wouldn't have posted if he didn't care.

[Anonymous No.21500787]

>>21498951
Setting up Steve King as your writing idol is like setting up Kay's Kitchen as a master chef. If you're not improving, it's probably because you are only reading bottom of the barrel writing. If you wilfully ignore anything higher than a very low level of writing, how do you expect to ever match or surpass that low level?