I R THA NU TAO

[Anonymous No.2148560]

My attempt to be Tao Lin for a bit...

So tonight I was in the bar with my friend Dragica and she brought her other friends Amida and Thorsten. Thorsten was in the band who was playing second, so they came and sat with us for a little while. Thorsten and I talked for a little while about music, and I asked him if he'd ever heard of The Notwist, a German band I like. He said that he'd never heard of them and I realised that he was probably a few years younger than me, and then I felt a little bit stupid, and a little bit self-conscious. I looked around the table, and realised that everyone else was the same age as me, it was just this guy who was young, and so I felt a little bit better.

After the music started, Dragica and I talked a little while and she said some stuff that was pretty funny about her work. Because I don't have a proper job any more, and my work involves talking to my cat and writing, I didn't have so much to say, but that was OK because one of the things I really like about Dragica is that she always has something to say.

[Anonymous No.2148563]

[cont] [cont] [cunt]

She told me this one story about in Belgrade during the war she lived next door to this big shopping mall and one day NATO or whoever decided to bomb it and she heard the missile crash into the shopping mall and she just went into denial. She went out and she bought her bread and her eggs from the mall and she went home and she ate her breakfast and she never once looked at the missile, but she told me that later in life she realised she could remember every detail of the missile, even the fact that the soldiers had written something on the bomb in English. She said it looked like the writing that you see in a bus shelter where some teenager writes that he loves some other teenager. I asked her if they had bus shelters in Belgrade and she told me of course, where else would people wait for the bus and I felt a little bit stupid again.

Afterwards we ate broccoli and went to a new bar that she knew on the other side of town, it was pretty good and there were big log fires. I said that it felt like switzerland and we had hot chocolate with rum in it and we pretended that we'd been skiing. Dragica seemed a bit sad for a while, but then she said a funny joke about something and we laughed. A little while later she said something about the same subject that was even funnier and we laughed again and I took the leftover broccoli home to eat later.

[Anonymous No.2148569]

It's too coherent and plot-driven to be Tao Lin.

You need to make it more like a 5 year old dictated it to some adult.

"I was in the bar with my friend Dragica. Dragica said she liked the bar because it made her think of meercats. Dragica liked meercats. I like meercats too I guess. There was one in the "Lion King" and I've saw "Lion King" with Dragica and she said the meercat was cute and I said yeah it is cute and Nathan Lane talks for him."

Something like that.

[Anonymous No.2148578]

>>2148569

Fuck, I left out the Hamsters, you're right.

I wonder if Tao has ever thought about doing masterclasses? He's done just about everything else for a dollar and a half.

An' I ain't hatin' I'm just sayin'. I'm actually coming to rather like Tao.

[Anonymous No.2148690]

>>2148578

Do you like him? Or his writing?

[Anonymous No.2148715]

>>2148690

I like his "wife".

[Anonymous No.2148721]

>>2148715
His "wife" had "sex" with quite a "lot of guys."

[Anonymous No.2148726]

>>2148721

"so"? I've had "sex" with quite a "lot" of "women". This is 2011, not 1911.

"unless" I've gone "throug"h one of those "timewarps" "again"

[Anonymous No.2148729]

>>2148721

Awww, how cute, Anon dreams of marrying an virgin in a pretty church with hollyhocks.

Get real.. Pic related - your wedding.

[Anonymous No.2148742]

>>2148726
>>2148729
No, I think it's cool that you guys date chicks who are totally indiscriminate. In fact, it's probably why you can get them.

[Anonymous No.2148752]

>>2148742

>He's never had sex