/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.21467415]

How do you write a successful children's book?

[Anonymous No.21467448]

Force kids to write it for you

[Anonymous No.21467449]

Three children and a flock of sheep to Beelzebub

[Anonymous No.21468156]

>>21467415
my wife tried to turn a poem she wrote into a children's book. The place she applied to had a message: "we're not accepting submissions about mice". Her submission was about a mouse.

[Anonymous No.21469769]

>>21467415
Currently reading through plenty of them to acclimatise myself to the style. Read a couple of Dahl this week. He's still based.

Unfortunately, in the UK, 80% of successful kids books are written by already famous media people.

[Anonymous No.21469776]

>>21467415
You have to love children. Like Lewis Carroll.

[Anonymous No.21470866]

>>21467415
a bowl full of mush

[Anonymous No.21470887]

>>21468156
i feel like getting published as a childrens book writer must be fraught with networking and nepotism since most people could write one if they really wanted to

[Anonymous No.21471215]

>>21470887
This logic literally applies to any genre

[Anonymous No.21471252]

>>21467448
They would write shitty anime fanfiction.

[Anonymous No.21471258]

>>21468156
Tell her to make it about lice instead. It could be a story about a kid who needs to wash their nasty hair.

[Anonymous No.21471261]

>>21467415
STEP 1: Become a drag queen.
STEP 2: Push your sexuality.
STEP 3: Profit
SECRET STEP 4: KYS

[Anonymous No.21471263]

With soul

[Anonymous No.21471371]

Someone post the rich kid who got a meme humanities degree and was a NEET who wrote a Greek myths children's book that included all the original rape scenes.

That was great, I recall:
>The publisher called the rape scene horrendous

Writen in the context that this was outrageous). Then some rant about how this shows the decline of the West.

[Anonymous No.21471427]

>>21467415
It's pretty easy today. You just need to pick a social cause and come up with some bullshit message story about acceptance or something.

Like
>"Terrific Tina the Black Trans Toddler!"
>"The Adventures of Carlos, the Wheelchair Latinx Baseball Star!"
>"'You have Two Mommies, I have Two Daddies' - A Story of Love Being Love"

You'll win a ton of awards, be reviewed well in all important publications and be prominently displayed in libraries and bookstores where liberal moms will buy your books en masse to look progressive.

[࿇ C Œ M G E N V S ࿇ !KNDY/Ar.iI No.21471614]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ594IL_wyw

[࿇ C Œ M G E N V S ࿇ !KNDY/Ar.iI No.21471635]

>BE WOMAN.
>LOVE CHILDREN.
>BE REGARDED AS MOTHERLY.

>BE MAN.
>LOVE CHILDREN.
>BE REGARDED AS PEDOPHILIC.

[Anonymous No.21471697]

>>21471427
I went into the kids section of a local book store the other day to get a present, and it was kinda scary how pervasive this stuff was. I can only imagine the mentality of someone raised on this shit. How thoroughly insecure it all is.
I really do fear how the next generation will even be able to think outside of a polemic lense.

When I was young, I at least remember tactful story of broadly applicable messages rather than targeted narrative makers.

rather than giving the general tools to help you getting an "impression" of things from life experience, there is prepackaged opinions of right and wrongthink.

[Anonymous No.21472083]

>>21471635
>be you
>creepy guy always posting kids
>guaranteed pedo

[Anonymous No.21472124]

>>21468156
Change it to rats instead

[Anonymous No.21472288]

[Anonymous No.21472293]

>>21468156
Soulless publishers

[Anonymous No.21472300]

>>21472288
Wasted 88s on ni88lets
Shame

[Anonymous No.21472302]

>>21469776
predictable but still kek