/wg/ Writing General

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/wg/ Writing General Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:08:30 2022 No.21402691 [Reply] [Original]

Stay warm edition
Previous thread:
>>21381156

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
https://youtu.be/pHdzv1NfZRM
https://youtu.be/whPnobbck9s
https://youtu.be/YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme:
https://youtu.be/B4GeEXHUiXQ

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:17:05 2022 No.21402716 Any tips on how to create decent character chemistry and dynamics? The entire second half of my book is literally just two dudes walking to the end set piece.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:19:52 2022 No.21402725 >>21402716 Make their personalities contrast but complement each other.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:22:52 2022 No.21402731 >>21402691 whaddup my big dick niggas. I actually wrote shit today. though now I don't know where to go with it

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:23:57 2022 No.21402738 How much do you guys write per day? Serious question. I'm so autistic about prose im struggling to get a paragraph done.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:25:52 2022 No.21402742 >>21402738 That's a good thing. Well, it's a good thing if you're struggling to dish out a decent paragraph, it's a bad thing if you're dicking off wasting your time doing other things. You should always be fighting to write decent prose.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:26:02 2022 No.21402743 File: 155 KB, 640x788, Bitches_Aquired.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21402738 As much as I fucking please.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:26:44 2022 No.21402749 >>21402716 Make them have common interests but lead very different lives think my dinner with andre or steerforth and david copperfield

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:27:46 2022 No.21402754 >>21402738 I keep putting it off, It gives me anxiety.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:29:55 2022 No.21402760 >>21402738 Just wrote 6800 words in the last two days. I get around 800-1200 words an hour.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:35:42 2022 No.21402778 If all the characters in my book are furries, but of the same race because it's just one planet's people, will it be cool or will everyone think it's stupid and gay and lame? Any scalies out here looking for scalie books?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:42:57 2022 No.21402792 File: 13 KB, 312x306, Wood+Oil.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21402778 Furries how? Like literally wearing carpet suits, or are they just aliens that resemble werewolves or something?

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 04:49:37 2022 No.21402813

>>21402738
Bad days? 450 words. These periods can sometimes last weeks.
Good days? 1700 words usually before I run out of steam. I go back over it all and edit. Then I can get 200-300 more if lucky.

Less more often than more. It's hard to write good prose, if that's what you're trying to do, so don't worry yourself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 05:03:43 2022 No.21402868 >>21402738 My peak is 750 daily. I've been struggling to hit it lately though

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 05:49:58 2022 No.21403022 >>21402792 No they're all just different versions of lizardmen. It's just a fantasy earth but everyone's a lizard.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 06:40:54 2022 No.21403146 Do you think it's disgusting for a God to hide itself behind created beings that do It's will despite that God ultimately having full power over everything?

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 06:56:41 2022 No.21403170

>>21403146
I think that, if there was a deity who shaped everything in the world, it would simply be sheer arrogance to try and judge it by our standards. You can't judge a tornado for destroying everything in its wake, its a power apart from ourselves.
The essence of spirituality is accepting that there is "a world" that exists outside of yourself and what you know. You can oppose the deity but you wouldn't be able to force your perspective on it, if that makes sense. Once you start thinking on whether the higher power is doing "right or wrong" then you're bringing it down your level and no longer recognizing it as something esoteric.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 07:06:04 2022 No.21403186 >>21403146 it's nonsensical, not disgusting. your interpretation, that is. in that circumstance existence is the expression of God's will. good things, bad things, everything. ascribing good or bad to it is nonsensical. it simply is.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 07:15:52 2022 No.21403202 >>21402716 Do your characters feed off of each other? Are their interactions greater than the sum of their parts? Is a scene elevated by their interaction?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 07:16:46 2022 No.21403205 >>21402738 Lol

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 07:36:46 2022 No.21403246
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>>21403022
If they're sufficiently alien there should be no confusion. If they act like humans but with X then you'll probably draw criticism for being a furry. Or worse, you'll draw in actual furries.

Describe this story in some more detail, it sounds like it has potential to at least be interesting.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 08:14:43 2022 No.21403321 >>21402778 It doesnt matter and theyre not furries. Nearly every story or narrative Ive written in the past 2 years has involved talking bird people of some kind.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 08:45:42 2022 No.21403387 File: 407 KB, 1000x871, 1659526171809636.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >post my work on r****t for the first time >it makes them mad I don't know what I was expecting.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 08:47:48 2022 No.21403390 >>21403387 Link

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:26:08 2022 No.21403443 >>21403146 One can imagine that it's not necessarily God who is hiding himself, but us who were born with a veil in front of our eyes

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:27:23 2022 No.21403446 >>21403390 It never happened. I was lying.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:28:32 2022 No.21403448 >>21403387 please share anon

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:34:05 2022 No.21403461 >>21403448 I don't want to. It's embarrassing being to be seen kowtowing to normies... but I wanted to see if people who walk more closely to the beaten path could possibly give my writing a shot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:43:19 2022 No.21403480 File: 1.03 MB, 760x926, craiyon_105118_Baby_monkey_have_a_gun.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21402691

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:46:56 2022 No.21403489 hello writing friends ask me any question about writing I don't have much work to do today and I want to get my writing brain going

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:49:30 2022 No.21403495

I posted this a few months ago but I've reworked it heavily with feedback I got from an anon

I looked on a gravestone white and withered;
No epitaph inscribed the mildewed rock—
Laid on an untamed patch of sun-kissed grass,
Hidden in a field of clement flock.
In the grazing a solemn sheep bowed his head low
When suddenly I heard a caw—the coming of a crow.

It perched upon a gargoyle’s snout
Whose granite gaze once mocked the feeble stone
And it let out a magnificent cry—
A touching eulogy to him unknown.
I brushed aside the overgrown fern and weed:
Seaton Morris, I remarked, the stone did read.

At first there was pity, then there was grief,
That Seaton’s life-story remained unsaid.
But in this thought, I found a comfort, too.
If life is wholly lived so what if death be wholly dead.
In cemeteries potted tulips may long wither away,
But on Seaton’s bare tomb this thought shall forever stay.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 09:58:03 2022 No.21403521 >>21403387 reddit gets offended easily but I'm curious what made them mad about your writing in particular

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 10:12:48 2022 No.21403562
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>>21403521
It was probably this one. I warned them in advance that there is some objectionable content, and that the easily offended should probably steer clear, but, well...

I understand that this is very imperfect. It's a work in progress.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 10:14:04 2022 No.21403565 >>21403562 For the record, line 666 (unintentional) is what I'm referencing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 11:03:03 2022 No.21403673 >>21403562 they didn't like it because it wasn't erotic fan fiction or a meta-comedy about being an aspiring writer. Ignore reddit. Keep writing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 11:12:02 2022 No.21403696 >>21403562 I can see why it could push a button or two but don't let it deter you. it's clear you have talent, keep at it.

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 11:17:26 2022 No.21403708

>>21403562
>>21403673
to expand on my point, I would unironically tell a newbie normie writer to come to /wg/ over reddit/writing. That entire page is dedicated to 1) complaining about the difficulty of writing and 2) demoralising other people from writing. There is no benefit of going there, but you could be put off writing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 11:28:17 2022 No.21403749 Thank you for the support, frens. I will pay it forward.

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 14:11:55 2022 No.21404233

>>21403562
It's a little pretentious but it's well within the limit of pseudeness. Could use work but it's by no means bad except that the content is kinda outplayed
>lmao everything sucks look how deep i can think about it
Welcome to reality, shut the fuck up
Complaining about societal problems will not fix them. I hope that your story is about the speaker doing something to actively improve his community/society or otherwise coming to terms with it and finding satisfaction and joy internally, changing his pessimistic outlook by the end of your story. If it's just this all the way through then I don't need to read it cause I can just read my diary tbqhwy desu

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 14:17:27 2022 No.21404257
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I have a concept for a story pls no steal, I'm only sharing cause I'm not super attatched to it.
It's about a guy who meets and dates four different women, each sort of personified by a different season, and each of them over the course of a few years helps him confront and deal with different parts of him he doesn't like- anger problems, timidity, etc. By the end of it he doesn't get any of the grills but he becomes a better person
only he doesn't because one of two twists will happen. Either he's schizophrenic and he imagined all of the girls and by the end he starts taking his pills again and they all go away and he's worse off than before, OR none of them were real because they were all AI constructs in a VR simulation and the situations and conversations were getting too complicated for them to keep up with so they start breaking down
Please don't steal this idea ive already got the title and have some stuff written for it but I'm probably never gonna actually make it but maybe idk don't steal please frens

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 14:19:09 2022 No.21404268

>>21404233
>I hope that your story is about the speaker doing something to actively improve his community/society or otherwise coming to terms with it and finding satisfaction and joy internally, changing his pessimistic outlook by the end of your story
is this like the male equivalent of "i just couldn't get into the characters?"

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 14:23:18 2022 No.21404284

>>21404257
Honestly, I don't think ideas are all that important. To a writer, they're important in the strict capacity that you're love for them spurs you on to do the actual work of writing, and to give a shit about the quality. For readers... well, I can't tell anyone why they enjoy something, but my theory is that ideas are just what people focus on to provide ex post facto justification for an intuitive appreciation for the work they generated in the moment. I think you like something first and try to explain why later, and that these are two ultimately unrelated processes. Point being... feel free to discuss your ideas, anon. No idea is good enough to prop up poor execution; no idea is bad enough that it can't be pulled off with great writing.

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 14:31:29 2022 No.21404311

>>21404284
>No idea is good enough to prop up poor execution
Are you suggesting I'm bad a writing anon?? How dare you! If I wrote anything actually I could be very, very good!
>>21404268
But I am into the character. Anon managed to write Literally Me: the short story. My point is I've seen it before but I haven't seen it get better for the guy :(

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 14:33:54 2022 No.21404324

>>21404284
To drive it home, I'll give an example for each
>No idea is good enough to prop up poor execution
Harry Bloom. He spent his entire life — literally, his entire life — stuffing his head full of the best ideas humanity had ever committed to paper. The result? His abortive Flight to Lucifer. Rife to the point of bursting with idea after classically-grounded idea, but almost completely void of the mechanical, nuts-and-bolts talent and skill of writing.
>no idea is bad enough that it can't be pulled off with great writing.
Lolita. The subject matter is morally terrible. The plot can be summarized, without losing much precision, in one or two sentences. The simplest modern classic in terms of ideation, but one of the most linguistically complex works of literature written in the last hundred years.

Ideas don't actually matter that much... and if they do, it's not as big a deal as we often think it is.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 14:37:08 2022 No.21404331 >>21404311 >Are you suggesting I'm bad a writing anon? My point is that you should absolutely fall in love with your ideas, but that the best thing to do is to channel that love constructively, because otherwise an idea is all you'll ever have.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 15:48:45 2022 No.21404528 File: 153 KB, 725x891, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 15:55:38 2022 No.21404556 >>21404528 Really good, anon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 15:57:57 2022 No.21404565 >>21404556 I would probably write it as rivers of song and fields of poetry, just because it makes more intuitive sense to this reader, but I'm sure you have your reasons, and it's fantastic regardless.

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 16:07:36 2022 No.21404611

>>21404565
>I would probably write it as rivers of song and fields of poetry, just because it makes more intuitive sense to this reader
I've written and rewritten that part and the following two sentences ("claws rip into flesh" and "fangs gnaw") multiple times now. I couldn't bother with it anymore and decided to go with the quad-of. I felt that it commanded a stronger rhythm. But I'm really amazed that you immediately noticed it as a reader! So, yeah, there's something wrong with it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 16:47:51 2022 No.21404729 >>21404528 Damn can I get more of this schizokino?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 17:03:03 2022 No.21404778 File: 708 KB, 260x146, 1362083347449.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21404611 >But I'm really amazed that you immediately noticed it as a reader! I didn't. I noticed it as a writer.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 17:05:30 2022 No.21404785 ESL here. I know basic English grammar but I still feel like I'm lacking in the more advanced stuff. Is there a book for that (advanced grammar)? Or should I just read more and try to take notes on how the authors write?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 17:22:56 2022 No.21404848 >>21404785 https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/934983.A_Student_s_Introduction_to_English_Grammar

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 18:24:25 2022 No.21405061 Which of these is correct? >Then the most peculiar thing happened; a woman’s voice joined in. >Then the most peculiar thing happened: a woman’s voice joined in.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 18:41:20 2022 No.21405134 >>21405061 both are fine. you could even use an em dash if it works for the aesthetic. just don't use a comma or period and you're good. use which one you like the best.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 18:41:43 2022 No.21405135 >>21405061 A colon for introducing something.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 18:47:40 2022 No.21405166 >>21405061 >There is a woman in his story Dropped.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 19:05:05 2022 No.21405238 >>21405061 For me, it's -

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 19:06:46 2022 No.21405246 >>21405166 Does it help that she's a demonic entity that is worshipped as an ancient, monstrous fertility goddess?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 21:09:15 2022 No.21405696 >>21405246 yes. i rescind my post

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 22:05:51 2022 No.21405924 >>21404257 Don't worry, no one's gonna steal that

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 22:41:16 2022 No.21406057 File: 75 KB, 882x960, 1669692379117489.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21405924 Rude

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 23:05:54 2022 No.21406150 File: 558 KB, 2048x2048, lit-waifu-A-3110049761.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21405924 Play nice, boys, or I'll swat you with a ruler.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 23:11:11 2022 No.21406174 First stanza of a poem please critique: There comes with every breaking dawn A bleak futile commute To gray horizons men are drawn Their destinations moot

Anonymous Mon Dec 19 23:38:27 2022 No.21406293

I’m not a writer; I’m a quitter
How does one even imagine anything outside of what they know?
My horizons are shut — I can’t imagine anything but misery, and yet I do enjoy the little simple things like singing stupid Christmas songs but again I feel insane if I were to enthusiastically squeal about it to an acquaintance because this is childish and I’m supposed to be neutral and serious and so I’m boring and cold now

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 19 23:42:53 2022 No.21406307 >>21406174 I like it but I’m a dimwit

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 00:11:19 2022 No.21406419 Anyone have any experience submitting to literary magazines? What's it like? I was told that I should consider it, but I worry that it would be a waste of time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 00:22:10 2022 No.21406469 >>21403146 >writing general

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 00:38:08 2022 No.21406544 >>21405061 >>21405134 I think a semicolon makes the two statements seem to remote from each other. Using a semicolon would be like using a period. I would use a colon.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 01:15:30 2022 No.21406688 How do you promote your work once you're done writing? Spam on /lit/, reddit? Buy ads? Just upload it on amazon and pray for the best?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 01:18:28 2022 No.21406701 >>21406688 >print book >find your cutest girl friend >have her dance on tiktok while carrying your book >hashtag #booktok and shit load of other shit >Caption "guess whats my fav book of Dec.? >Support indies!

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 02:38:51 2022 No.21406978 >>21406701 ngl best idea i've heard in years

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 03:10:01 2022 No.21407093 >>21406701 >>find your cutest girl friend good one, bro

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 03:27:39 2022 No.21407155 >>21403495 I normally don't wade into these threads and just lurk, but wanted to say this is very good. One nitpick — the ending of the middle stanza feels clunky with the protog "remarking" what is "read" on the stone. Should be one or the other.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 03:28:22 2022 No.21407158 >>21407093 or hire one. if you're gonna spend money on advertising hiring a cute grill to shill your shit may be among the most economical of choices

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 03:32:34 2022 No.21407176

>>21406293
Your complaining about two things
>misery and lack of joy in life
>being unable to express joy about the things you like because of outside judgement

Those don't have to both exist.
You're in some way imposing misery on yourself.
Figure it out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 03:51:47 2022 No.21407231 >>21407158 >advertising budget bro, you're killin' me

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:02:55 2022 No.21407267 >>21407231 C'mon you have to know one cute girl. Preferably a 15-20 year old. Make sure to get the pedo audience too. Even say she wrote it herself. If you do that, she'll sell triple

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:04:10 2022 No.21407275 File: 935 KB, 644x644, wdytwa.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21407267 >C'mon you have to know one cute girl

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:05:09 2022 No.21407280 >>21407275 Cousin?

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:08:06 2022 No.21407292
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>>21402691
am I the only one who sees this monkey as having its front right (for the viewer) and back left (for the viewer) limbs as being its arms and the other two being legs crossed in a sort of stride
at least in the thumbnail

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:08:59 2022 No.21407296 >>21407231 Hiring some booktuber girl can probably be done for like 50 bucks.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:11:46 2022 No.21407307 File: 461 KB, 449x537, obg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21407280 >>21407296

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:23:50 2022 No.21407359
File: 30 KB, 574x430, 2lqgbn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

why can't I just bring myself to edit these stupid fucking scenes /wg/? This isn't supposed to be hard, and it never would have been difficult to the old me, but I'm just not good enough to be a writer anymore. I just want to crawl in a hole and die

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:28:46 2022 No.21407378 >>21407359 It's okay i dropped this story because I have no idea how to continue. Maybe one day I'll come back to ti. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fqbbdtYn3DDtaiOzpg9XM1g0dOOzrLNtAiMYQBsbZ6U/edit?usp=sharing

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:35:43 2022 No.21407413

>>21407378
It's not okay anon. I can't do anything right anymore. I've been stuck writing this second draft for a year and a half. I've gone through two therapists, a dozen medication changes, 8 months of breaks, a hundred self help articles and who knows how many alternate methods but nothing has been able to fix me.

writing this novel is the only real hope or dream I have in life I wasn't born too stupid or useless to obtain and I can't even do this right

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 04:38:59 2022 No.21407430

>>21407413
Then you're done with the book. There's a point where every author must realize their work is "good enough" and as men getting things done will always be better than incomplete tasks that devalue your worth. Nothing worse than a man that can't complete a single thing.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 05:04:57 2022 No.21407531

>>21407413
>medication
>self help articles
>(((therapists)))
nigger. 3 things.
1. You shouldn't eat crap. Don't out, make your own food. Meat, veggies, starches, rice, some fruits.
2. Physical activity. Nothing crazy. Pushups, situps. Get sunlight, like an hour a day.
3. Sit down and write every day. Like that other guy said, you've already written the draft so you have to realize when good enough is good enough. Finish it up and get to your next project. Start releasing it on retard road or something if you want feedback.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 05:12:06 2022 No.21407565 >>21402738 Usually nothing for months but for some reason when I don't sleep for a day I get a bunch of shit done including writing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 05:47:51 2022 No.21407670 Anyone heard from Gardner lately? It's been a long time since his last youtube video. I'm worried he got captured by the deep state.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 05:53:54 2022 No.21407693

>>21402738
during the first draft i don't concern myself with prose so i pump out like 3-6k+ words a day solely focused on getting the story out of my brain and on paper as fast as possible. i also don't concern myself with making sure the story works or even makes sense tbqh. the next one to two drafts are devoted to story structure and mechanics and turning my raving ramblings into a coherent narrative. only once everything is working do i focus on prose.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 08:15:09 2022 No.21408122 >>21407670 We don't want to talk about you today, Frank

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 09:43:07 2022 No.21408328

I know its 3 in the morning, but I heard this was an alright place for advice so Im hoping you guys could offer little critique on prose.
Heres what I have:

P.P.P. 3(P)
Here lies the future. On clay soil, meaning will be built, and understanding shall be buried like a seed. None shall know the past, and through so only shall they know the future; what they will do, not what was done. The spoken word shall be eternal, and worryless. The unspoken word shall murmur through the ground, and radiate throughout the topsoil, through the trees, and in man. There is nothing here that can break the silence imposed, and nothing here that can stop the words spoken.
In fact, it is the spoken word of one man, and the unspoken of his second that drive the world on which they sit. They being Mr. Saloth, and the bird.
A simple place with one task in mind, the mass farming of crops was all it was used for. Self sufficient in its own right, some other activity was done, but other than what was necessary, all else was generally to be unthought of. So he commanded, so they obeyed.
However, for a man known to speak, he generally remained laid back and quiet, instead only speaking when he needed to, rather than when he felt like it. Instead he preferred to be spoken to, and so he was.

I think I use the word 'was; too much. Also if youre wondering the story is a short story about a reincarnated Pol Pot and a dead telepathic peacock ruling over a giant farm planet in order to induce suffering in its people for interdimensional shadow entities that use it for power. It makes more sense once its explained in depth.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 09:46:53 2022 No.21408347 >>21407413 Go to the gym

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 10:27:05 2022 No.21408417

>>21408328
It's high in passive voice and heavy on adverb usage.

https://www.expresso-app.org/

Run it through here and make changes until you're satisfied. I generally concern myself with passive voice and adverb usage, excusing dialogue from consideration in the total because characters talk how they talk.

When it comes to whole chapters, the other metrics can help guide a few broad strokes, but I edit on a paragraph level first.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 10:28:51 2022 No.21408423

>>21408417
In most well received fiction, adverb usage for the whole text doesn't cross much over 4% of the total wordcount, and gets as low as 1.5% in some popular novels. Adverbs require that the reader do a lot of imaginal work in interpreting meaning. Be more direct and descriptive if you want the text to come alive.

That's not to say that you can't have adverb heavy passages here and there. If you're particularly proud of a passage, keep it. Otherwise, revise.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 10:40:18 2022 No.21408454 >>21403562 I don't feel like I'm reading anything but it flows really well. You are a master of flow regardless of the quality of the underlying story.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 10:45:22 2022 No.21408467 >>21403387 What did they dislike about it?

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 10:52:27 2022 No.21408480

>>21403708
I visited /r/writing (or maybe it was /r/writers? One is less shit than the other, but not enough to matter) the other day and it was just memes. One user had several upvoted boomer-tier memes about how writing is hard.
/wg/ is full of autism and prone to derailment, reddit has enforced niceness and apathetic users. In the end, the best writing group is a carefully-curated discord server made up of weirdos you gathered from the reaches of digi-space.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 11:06:21 2022 No.21408506

>>21404257
The story is probably better without the tweest, anon. Or rather, feel free to go full wacky scifi, but don't reveal it all in a wacky gotcha! zinger with doomer overtones. The story works better if you show the VR environment early on and present the situation as futuristic jungian therapy where the protag falls in love with the subconscious manifestations of his yin impulses. Each time the protag is pushed away from a relationship he is growing closer to a unified self, inching closer to the exit of Plato's therapy pod. The 'man stuck in love-loss cycles and incapable of breaking through' trope has been done well before and slapping a seasonal coating on top (over-boldly drawing attention to the parallels with 500 Days of Summer) won't make it better.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 11:09:04 2022 No.21408513

ive redrafted the manuscript for my novel a few times and im happy with the characterisation, the plot, the structure, the imagery and themes etc. but the prose just feels flat
the thing that sucks me into a novel most is engaging, beautiful prose. is that something you can learn?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 11:09:37 2022 No.21408516 >>21408417 >https://www.expresso-app.org/ this is fucking great ty

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 11:21:31 2022 No.21408532

>>21405238
I think the rule for whether you use a dash or a colon is whether the element after the punctuation is the 'thing' itself or an additional description of the 'thing'. (For what it's worth, I copy-edit for a living.)

So:
>Then the most peculiar thing happened: a woman’s voice joined in. [Thing itself.]
>Then a woman's voice joined in -- a most peculiar thing to happen. [Additional description.]
>The man tried to ignore the looming source of his anxiety: his upcoming job interview.
>The man tried to ignore his upcoming job interview -- the looming source of his anxiety.

But I guess which element constitutes the 'thing' can sometimes be up to the writer. So these both work:
>The pilgrims' ship anchored within sight of a bleak and wind-battered bay -- their new home.
>The pilgrims' ship anchored within sight of their new home -- a bleak and wind-battered bay.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 14:19:26 2022 No.21408969

>>21408454
Thank you, fren. It means a lot to me.
>>21408467
I never really got all that much, honestly. One guy took aesthetic minimalism as a cosmic fact; another was a "transbian" who was really overt in the fact that he/she/whatever was trying to "win one over" on me... the kind of personal dislike veiled in rhetoric with which we're all familiar. If there's one single thing I like about R*ddit, it's how easy it is to just click on their name, take a look at their writing, and decide for myself how heavily I want to weight what they've said. That said, I don't think I like it anywhere near enough to ever go back. It's just a different world they live in. I prefer mine.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 16:18:58 2022 No.21409306 >>21408423 >Adverbs require that the reader do a lot of imaginal work in interpreting meaning. Nonsense

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 16:25:24 2022 No.21409330

>>21408328
>and through so only shall they know the future
What?
>>21408328
>Self sufficient in its own right, some other activity was done, but other than what was necessary, all else was generally to be unthought of.
This whole thing is abstract to the point of being meaningless.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 16:33:05 2022 No.21409356

>>21408417
This is a cool tool, I might have to make an excel autism spreadsheet of different books first 300 words.

>>21409306
Seconding this. The 'problem' with adverbs is that they sometimes cover for weak/generic verbs (therefore using two words to what could hypothetically be described with one). But a modified verb is a unique descriptor and sometimes the most accurate one - people do really just "walk quickly" sometimes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 16:56:23 2022 No.21409426 >>21409356 >walk quickly >he moved with the swiftness of a European man whose blonde haired, blue eyed wife had just given birth to twin mulatto boys

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 17:14:46 2022 No.21409473

>>21402738
10k a week, can usually get more done

the trick is to work a job where you can think about your plot constantly, the words just flow out

Don't get autistic over prose on the first draft, just write pure shit if you have to- get the plot sorted and you can return during the second draft to make it all cute

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 17:32:58 2022 No.21409523

>>21409473
>Don't get autistic over prose on the first draft
I find it much harder to naturally create my best prose purely in editing. For me, it has to come out in the moment because I think there is an improvisational/performative element I just don't get in editing. I can definitely make something I'm unhappy with better in editing, or even improve something with which already I'm happy and turn it into something I think is great, but I don't think I've ever once turned shit prose into anything I can do more than accept. Don't short-sell the power of prose autism in the writing process, IMO.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 17:44:09 2022 No.21409558

>>21409523
You just have to force yourself bro, I struggle too as my mind races faster than a GTR running on meth fuel, and some layer of inherited OCD means if I forget one of the three simultaneous thoughts I planned on writing a sentence later my thought train stops dead in its tracks.
You just gotta get it out of your system and embrace the autism once the barebones is sorted

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 17:59:37 2022 No.21409599
File: 9 KB, 200x203, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I used to be a writer. I used to write all the time - short stories and poetry and stuff. I made my living as a writer and during our lunch breaks some of my colleagues and I would hold writing workshops, reading and critiquing our personal works.
That was a good time in my life. I had hopes then. I had dreams then. But it's been ten long years and I've had those dreams crushed out of me like toothpaste from the tube.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 18:08:07 2022 No.21409622

I'm looking to write a few fantasy erotica shorts (2.5k - 5k words) and, hopefully, make a few bucks in the process, though I know I won't be getting rich anytime soon. Where would you suggest I post them? I don't want leg-beard femcels stalking me or harassing my family online, so being able to keep my actual name a secret is a must. Preferably somewhere that I can go by a pen name and not divulge too much info about myself. Any thoughts?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 18:15:55 2022 No.21409654 >>21409622 literotica and when you hit a decent word count bundle them together and sell them as a book on amazon

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 18:19:59 2022 No.21409669 >>21409654 I've never used literotica but it doesn't look like it has monetization options. Am I just blind? Also, how easy of a site is it to format for?

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 18:22:26 2022 No.21409676

>>21409599
Relax. You were never going to make it anyway.

>But it's been ten long years
Boring "punchline." Very obvious to the reader that you'll write LITERALLY this at the end.
>I've had those dreams crushed out of me like toothpaste from the tube.
You crush to tube to squeeze the toothpaste. You don't crush the toothpaste itself.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 18:46:57 2022 No.21409796

>>21409669
your monetization will occur using patreon or subscribestar or paypal. you can put a link in your bio. that's essentially the case for all sites. I'd just say post your shit on amazon but trying to sell a 5k word story on amazon is insulting.
>how easy
I dunno. easy I'd imagine

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 18:51:08 2022 No.21409812 >>21409676 the toothpaste metaphor was just meant to convey the utter loss of my dreams. as in "you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube". Those dreams are completely dead and there's no way to go back to having such hope ever again.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 20:20:53 2022 No.21410180 >>21409356 Yes, and when context is clear they're fine. Superman walks quickly and travels 500 mph, while George walks quickly and moves 3mph.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 20:21:53 2022 No.21410184 >>21409306 "Nope," I said, totally and undeniably refuting you simply.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 20:26:27 2022 No.21410200

>>21402738
>I'm so autistic about prose im struggling to get a paragraph done.

So you now know that your approach is not serving you. Now you need to find another approach and try that instead.
Instead of focusing on writing, focus on having an experience that you type up as you experience it. Shift your perspective.

I write some fiction or poetry every day, and I journal on top of that. Usually about 2000 words in the journal which I write throughout the day as I am compelled to. Today I did 2.5 hours of work on my fiction and wrote about 4200 words. Sometimes I write for 4-6 hours, though there are of course lots of breaks too in that time.

When I write, I have an intention for my session that I make concrete. This is my intention I wrote today as my session began. It is a bit messy, because writing with good spelling, grammar, or anything like that is not my intent or focus at this stage. Most days I have an intention like this: discovery, focus on inner experience, and flow. If you are working on a specific project, you will need another intention. I freewrite a lot in my sessions, but it is not the only method I use. Intentions are powerful.

"I want to experience something unknown to me and I wish to write about it as I experience it. I want to experience a state of flow or following as I experience this and write it up, and I want to surrender to the experience and the flow, and follow where it leads, and stay focused on it, and not allow any distractions to force me from its flow. I want it to be new for me, newly experienced, newly written, newly understood, I want to change my mind and step forward in my being, I wish to expand my soul, to grow my understanding, to expand my freedom and my fulness of being, to write what is necessary and best for me."

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 20:53:45 2022 No.21410367 >>21402738 In the drafting phase I get about 1000 words per day on average. The edits to clean up the prose don't take nearly as long, and I can edit and polish about 10000 words a day if I spend the whole day on it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 21:24:31 2022 No.21410529 >>21410180 >Superman walks quickly and travels 500 mph This mental image is so dumb it made me chuckle out loud. Not even bugs bunny performing anything that could be loosely categorized a walk could move that fast.

Anonymous Tue Dec 20 21:31:01 2022 No.21410567

>>21410200
I've just rewritten this intention. It had to be made clearer, and to be made into an existing state, not something that would come or a mere desire. I try to use positive language, and no negative concepts or words.

"When I come to my writing space to conceive new experiences and content, I push into the unknown with pure curiosity and surrender. My focus is on the inner experience I have: the voices, feelings, and visions, that I experience moment to moment. As I have my inner experience, my hands type freely, without stopping, about the experience as it occurs. I enter a flow state, and I surrender to it, and I let all distractions pass by me and I keep my focus on the moment of flowing experience. In the unknown spaces I find what I need to experience in order to expand my soul, my freedom, and my understanding.
Anything that needs to be seen by me is seen by me and experienced in full, clearly and vividly. I trust that I experience what I need to experience at the right time, and that I am in a place of safe exploration and creative play where all experiences are valued and valid."

Does anyone else here use intentions for their writing sessions?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 20 21:43:45 2022 No.21410625 >>21410184 Wow. What could this mean? You've overloaded my poor brain. I need to take some aspirin and lie down.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 01:36:07 2022 No.21411530 File: 1.29 MB, 250x188, bump-2.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Slow today. Guess many are away for the holidays.

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 01:45:18 2022 No.21411556

I'm thinking of writing a 10k word short story every week and submitting it to literary journals that pay, but I don't know if I should just focus on writing a shitty novel and trying to get that published. At the end of the day I am trying to become a full time novelist.

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 02:08:24 2022 No.21411632
File: 1.11 MB, 1920x1080, what.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>browse /lit/
>read books
>play Chained Echoes JRPG
>notice the writing and prose is complete shit
>can't enjoy the simple story
>sentence flow is very awkward and unnatural
>all characters sound the same even with a random exposition dump backstory
>tons of exposition dumps

I hate you people. you ruined RPGs for me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 03:05:03 2022 No.21411842 >>21411632 Play a well written RPG then.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 03:25:13 2022 No.21411913 >trying to format novel using styles >suffering >such beautifully formatted suffering why in the fuck are word processers so bloated and overly complex? all they do is put text on a fucking page

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 03:26:45 2022 No.21411922 >>21405061 >tards who cant into basic grammar

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 03:34:38 2022 No.21411952 File: 165 KB, 653x519, BG.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 04:28:04 2022 No.21412121
File: 55 KB, 500x800, ErasedCover500x800.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Draft done.
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/40361/erased
Still needs another editing pass or two (or three). Still need to make a real cover - they're making some really cool stuff in Stable Diffusion tho. But the draft is done.
I hope your projects are going well. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 05:10:40 2022 No.21412233 How do I become content with the fact that writing will always just be a hobby to me and that I'll never be able to support myself with it? >>21412121 How did you get followers?

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 07:21:39 2022 No.21412615

>>21412233
I wrote very far ahead and I got followers literally just by posting consistently one chapter at a time. the past 4 chapters I fell off my schedule - for a variety of reasons - but before that it was 1 chapter a week like clockwork for like 1.5 years. to be fair tho for every 2 followers I gained I probably lost 1

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 08:32:09 2022 No.21412790 >>21411913 everything is overly complex in the eyes of a tech illiterate brainlet

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 09:26:35 2022 No.21412905 >>21409676 retard

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 09:49:25 2022 No.21412949 File: 78 KB, 961x1245, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 10:23:22 2022 No.21413032 >>21411922 >Mongoloids who think punctuation is grammar

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 12:30:55 2022 No.21413342 File: 174 KB, 2488x1146, Publishing industry revenue.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21402691 Writing for kids still seems like a good bet, given that "trade" incorporates many genres.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 12:31:56 2022 No.21413345 File: 177 KB, 1392x1072, Books Market Type Estimates & Trend Analysis.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21413342 Write Mystery. It's the biggest genre.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 12:34:05 2022 No.21413354 File: 277 KB, 2269x1153, Format.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21413345 eBooks aren't bringing in much money at all. Go for a print copy if you can.

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 12:35:11 2022 No.21413358
File: 374 KB, 2280x1286, Distribution Channel.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21413354
Hawk your books at the local book shop, maybe you can even set up readings or signings to make it more of a buzz. Local bookstores stump every other distribution channel.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 12:38:53 2022 No.21413366 File: 49 KB, 330x319, 1665875879554483.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >study chemistry >get better at writing dialogue

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 15:37:47 2022 No.21413893 >>21413354 >eBooks aren't bringing in much money at all. Go for a print copy if you can. This is labeled 'publishing industry revenue'. I assume it doesn't cover self-publishing on amazon.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 17:12:37 2022 No.21414207 >>21413032 >people who think grammar is grammar wtf bros dear zoomers: please die

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 17:30:59 2022 No.21414285 I did it I knocked my book down to 100k words! The 2nd draft clocked in at 136k words but I’ve been aggressively editing.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 17:44:15 2022 No.21414330 >>21414285 Ayyyy great job anon. Right now my draft's shaping up to be 160k words so boy howdy do I have some shaving ahead of me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 18:12:47 2022 No.21414449 >>21403562 bravo anon

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 18:40:06 2022 No.21414574 >>21414285 So jealous you people can write much. I struggle writing even 70k words

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 18:43:18 2022 No.21414597 I get that the whole "character looking in the mirror to describe themselves" trope is stupid in general fiction, but would it be more okay in erotica if it leads to a short masturbation scene? Or even just to describe someone as sexy?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 18:46:25 2022 No.21414614 >>21414597 isn't there enough porn on the internet already

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 18:47:53 2022 No.21414622 >>21414614 Maybe, maybe not. Depends on who you ask. The people who say that there isn't enough are the people I'm writing for.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 19:53:13 2022 No.21414864 >>21414330 I'm so glad I'm writing romance. My draft is 70k before copyediting and proofreading and might drop down to 65k at it's shortest

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 20:13:16 2022 No.21414924

>>21414864
>writing romance
so I was thinking about writing romance but I've never actually read a romance book. obviously a million romance books are written every year, but could you recommend a classic or well renowned one so I could get a feel for the genre?

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 20:25:40 2022 No.21414982 [DELETED]

So, after starting writing six years ago, I just got published for the first time in a legitimate magazine. Just wanted to say that you should never give up. Also, how do you guys find workshop groups out of college/university? I've been looking in my area and there's nothing here. I imagine there are a ton of zoom workshopping groups, how would I find one of those?

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 20:31:07 2022 No.21415002

What's up with the convention of having (some) dialogue tags in present tense while the rest of narration is in past tense? Are there any rules for writing like that? When I tried to google it it only gave me "you should not mix tenses because it's wrong" aimed at esl seven-year-olds.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 20:34:56 2022 No.21415020 >>21414924 Pride and prejudice. And all books have some sort of romance

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 20:35:52 2022 No.21415022
File: 368 KB, 100x100, niggajam_fast.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>over 300k words written
>probably 290k of that is actual content (not just preface/retrospective)
>not even halfway done
Wew lads I'm a machine. Web fiction is somethin' I tell you hwat

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 20:44:08 2022 No.21415059
File: 98 KB, 750x988, d2g0l86iwap31.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21402691
is this accurate? do you always need a comma before "because"? I was under the impression that commas only needed to precede a fanboy conjunction, not a subordinating conjunction like "because"

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:02:27 2022 No.21415148

Anyone here write poetry? I'm trying to develop a more visceral style, but at the same time I want to be less literal. I find it hard to say what I mean indirectly. I've noticed many good poems use an indirect way of speaking, as if some phrases were pulled out of a dialogue in a specific situational context. The problem is, I don't know how to do that myself when I write.

Sometimes it's overwhelming, then I try to write not thinking about nailing the emotion or feeling. But it just seems I contradict myself or say something meaningless. Why is it so hard to make sense?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:13:28 2022 No.21415183 >>21415059 >do you always need a comma before "because" no. that's not right. now if this were dialogue and you wanted to show that the person speaking was pausing between the two statements, then you'd put a comma

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:16:11 2022 No.21415193 >>21415183 Retard. Never post again

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:19:07 2022 No.21415209 >>21413893 From what else I read, Amazon doesn’t even make a billion a year from Ebook sales. It’s nothing.

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:21:37 2022 No.21415220
File: 69 KB, 512x512, steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Is having two people who are "Soulmates" (They are ment to be with each other life after life) And one of them dies young when they are in their 20s and then once the character is in his 40s or 50s he meets the reincarnation of his past love but she's in her 20s

Also yes I am aware how creepy this idea is but i'm curious anons, what do you think?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:22:20 2022 No.21415224 >>21415193 seethe

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:23:35 2022 No.21415230 File: 349 KB, 1494x783, 1661175246414606.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21415193

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:24:08 2022 No.21415235 >>21415220 >older man, younger woman a phenomena as old as time, only a problem in current year to eggless christmas cake roasties

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:24:35 2022 No.21415239 >>21415220 Look up facial misidentification disorders if you want to make it creepier (i.e. it isn't his love, he just misidentified her face by a delusion)

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:25:52 2022 No.21415248

I'm trying to describe someone as older but not elderly and I decided to describe their beard as "grey-speckled" but that doesn't really sound right. It's a medieval fantasy setting, so I'm not sure that calling it "salt and pepper" would be right. Any thoughts? Maybe "grey-streaked"?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:34:10 2022 No.21415274 >>21415248 >The man's hair was peppered and his face stretched with age

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:39:02 2022 No.21415299 >>21415148 Name a poem that is like what you are trying to communicate here.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:51:34 2022 No.21415344 Now that the dust has settled, has anyone found a use for ChatGPT? The best I managed to get out of it were some basic-bitch plot outlines and analysis. It seems to do very poorly on prose in general.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:53:33 2022 No.21415353 >>21415299 Well, I guess lyric is what I meant.. song lyrics mostly seem written that way

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 21:54:27 2022 No.21415359 >>21415344 >dust has settled lol AI will only continue to develop more and more until either the government cracks down on it or we're all in pods

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 22:01:27 2022 No.21415391 >>21415248 >grey-speckled is fine, but I'd prefer speckled with grey

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 22:01:41 2022 No.21415393
File: 79 KB, 564x680, 9a268148-b50e-4203-8515-3df14ed3d8a2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>wrote 1500 words today
>Spent a solid comfy hour editing chapters
>Had tea while sketching my own characters with ink and watercolors
>It's -5° outside. 3 days straight raining non stop
Hoping to reach 100K words before the year ends.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 22:04:02 2022 No.21415408 >>21415359 Yeah, sure, but that's tomorrow. I'm talking about today and how indolent pieces of shit like myself can use what's available to hack it as writers.

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 22:07:06 2022 No.21415422

>>21415148
you can't think your way into poetry. you just have to feel it. feel the rhythm, let the associations make themselves. write naturally with your right brain instead of analytically puzzling over theme and trying to analyze prosody. no one has ever successfully done that. the people who think they have are constructing an ex post facto rationalization that has no bearing on the instantaneous, moment-by-moment creative process itself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 22:10:58 2022 No.21415446 File: 27 KB, 268x40, oops.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 22:53:44 2022 No.21415615 >>21415220 Isn’t hat the well beloved by thoms hardy? Or is it Henry James?

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 22:57:16 2022 No.21415633

>>21404528
Really great work on this and I can see where you're going but the descent into poetic ramble is a little too transparent, I can see your intentions too clearly, and it isn't resonant enough to give it the BANG it needs. But great stuff I love it. Also why have you broken your paragraphs in the way you have? It seems a bit random/unthought. Maybe consider what examples of pranks go best with each other?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 23:03:19 2022 No.21415666 >>21415220 Cute and very Netflix-able series.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 23:05:36 2022 No.21415674 >>21415666 Satan works at Netflix confirmed. Makes sense.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 23:06:16 2022 No.21415678 >>21415666 Also the ending is simple, the two die in the end after living their lives and in a third reincarnation, it's hinted they end up together. Nice and sappy.

Anonymous Wed Dec 21 23:37:07 2022 No.21415786

>>21415059
Anyone else wanna weight in on this. Here's another example of what I'm asking.

She was brave, because she had been through hell.
or
She was brave because she had been through hell.

Whish is correct? According to the pic in my previous post, it should the sentence with the comma. But I've seen sentences in books, articles, and other written mediums where the comma ISN'T used before because or another subordinating conjunction that connects two independence clauses, hence my confusion

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 21 23:53:02 2022 No.21415836 >>21415786 Second sentence because "she was brave" is dependent on "she been through hell". If you wrote she had been through hell alone, it could mean a variety of things. But in your case, being brave is directly dependent on going through hell.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 00:32:31 2022 No.21416011

>>21415786
You only need a comma if it's confusing otherwise.
>She wasn't brave because she had been through hell.
Sounds like she was brave for some other reason.
>She wasn't brave, because she had been through hell.
Now it's clear she's definitely not brave.

But if it were me, I'd just rewrite the sentence some other way to avoid the ambiguity.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 00:37:49 2022 No.21416027 >>21415786 >>21416011 This. Whichever one best communicates what you mean is always the correct choice.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 00:41:40 2022 No.21416049 >>21414597 If it's just a short erotica piece you can probably get away with just directly describing the character. If it wasn't erotica and was just short fiction I would say it's probably not necessary to describe them at all

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 00:42:05 2022 No.21416051 >>21415786 I'm gonna say the second one purely because I'm sick of people overusing the fuck out of commas.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 04:53:13 2022 No.21416809 >>21402691 Should I shill my substack and upcoming novel here? I don't want negative feedback, I just want people to buy my book and read my short stories.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 05:11:23 2022 No.21416851

Kaiju n' shit

>So, about that thing you killed. Good job with that, but that's not what I wanted to discuss with you.
>Thanks. So if it's not a congrats, then what is it?
>We did an autopsy on the corpse, and this thing is on a whole other level to any of the creatures we've seen before in a lot of ways.
A chill ran down my spine. I thought I had seen everything, but there was something new about this?
>Go on?...
>To get to the skinny of it, this thing's cells are more like stem cells put on enough performance enhancers to kill a whale. They can change function and properties entirely at the drop of a hat, which is why it constantly pulled new tricks out it's ass when it fought you. Dedicating more mass to it's muscles so it could overpower you, it's skin slippery so it could slip out of a hold, making it's fingers hard so it could stab you, and so on. It's lucky that you got a good shot off before it had time to react or adapt.
>So you're saying I won off of pure luck
>Yeah, kind of. It's a sad fact of life.
>And why should I know this exactly? It's dead.
>Not the real reason I called you in.
The chill worsened, like my spinal column was ensnared in the ice of Fimbulwinter. I couldn't even speak as my heartbeat steadily increased
>You know how that thing came from a meteor? Well, there were 8 more incidents just like it across the continent at the exact same time. Feel free to tell me how that strikes you.

I dunno, I thought it sounded neat

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 05:56:00 2022 No.21416961 >>21416851 Do you have a Royal Road? I remember us having a Kaijuanon that posted there but now I can’t find them.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 06:06:35 2022 No.21416983 How would you rate this anon's schizo writings? Got these from another thread: https://ia904702.us.archive.org/0/items/schizo_202212/Schizo.pdf

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 06:24:29 2022 No.21417021

I want to write a drama slice-of-life novel about dramaticized version of my life experiences during the pandemic and online classes era of 2020-2022. it will be like toned-down fight club where the me character meets a mentor figure who teaches him about the ways of life. my question is how do i not make it boring or trashy?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 06:38:53 2022 No.21417056 >>21417021 Nobody know because you need to write it out. Why do people keep asking questions about "how do I write this?". Shut nigga if I knew how to write it, I would have done it myself.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 07:37:31 2022 No.21417217 >>21417021 So many people have decided to write about the pandemic that publishers and agents now automatically reject them.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 08:13:24 2022 No.21417285 >>21416851 Pure chuuni energy. Take that as you will.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 08:36:00 2022 No.21417331 >>21407292 Goddammit Anon. Now I can't unsee it.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 08:46:19 2022 No.21417351

Trying out a new method: I write out a 1k word "treatment" of my story idea. From there I identify important plot points, beats, flaws, etc. Then I let a couple of friends read it and give their thoughts on it. After a revision I expand upon each section of the story as a longer treatment. Finally I expand to the complete story before the nitty Gritty editing process.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 09:20:51 2022 No.21417397
File: 225 KB, 1080x1080, 274900628_679411273487665_1236227233241989498_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21404257
As someone with schizo Your not writing it very well, and its a shitty plot twist as old as time. Try to write realstic schizo for once, i'm tired of you people using it as a cop out Its basely the same as "It was all a dream"

The second part is cool though if not overdone

But I would say seriously get more creative with this. You have to be a very very good writer for you to use very very common cliches thats been used a million times over.

Please make us schizos a little happier by writing something about us and not these shitty cliches

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 09:27:42 2022 No.21417408 >>21417397 NTA, but have you seen Undone (2019)? What are your thoughts, schizofren?

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 09:41:46 2022 No.21417424
File: 1.24 MB, 1447x2048, tumblr_80de075b425a040ec3980899b8b43692_4a24dfc4_2048.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21417408
I have not, I don't watch much media outside of youtube. But to not waste your time:

if you are gonna write a schizo character a few things to remember is to build it up slowly and with care. You can do this by them having a "big break" or a "Mini break" If you want it to go longer The big break is when one starts full blown psychosis, Voices, hallucinations, ect

The mini breaks may just be some whispers or what not if you wanna take things a little slow before the big break.

After the big break don't go all out and start making him delsional. In one of my story's My character thinks he can hear "baphomet" But he on some level knows its not real, he trys to ignore them first but they don't stop and slowly they start to listen to the voice, and they start seeing him and speaking to him outloud just make sure to use proper build up

Also don't make them become murders or evil or something. They are more likely to just harass you with the bible or some other reilgionest text.

Just make sure that over time they stop taking care of themselfs as the psychosis gets worst Weight lost, lack of showering, not cutting hair, becoming homeless, losing their job. ect

remember they can have nice voices, who tell them to do good things or keep them hopeful. Voices can be like friends, or not friends, they can have their own names the voices made up for themselfs.

Your welcome to ask futher questions,
I do not feel I have explained properly but these are just the first things i thought of.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:29:37 2022 No.21417638 File: 19 KB, 498x427, wojak-wojak-crying.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Bros... my book is just too good

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:36:59 2022 No.21417657 >>21417638 post an excerpt

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:41:01 2022 No.21417674 >>21417657 >he thinks sentence-to-sentence writing style is the only way to measure literary merit newfag spotted

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:43:34 2022 No.21417683 >>21417674 a good book can be written in pretty much any style. a book that's "too good" has to be written amazingly in every way. prose style isn't the alpha and omega of excellent literature, but it is a component thereof.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:46:01 2022 No.21417693 >>21417674 You're right, post the entire thing.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:52:38 2022 No.21417718

>>21417683
anon this is like me saying that Deus ex is the best game ever made and you telling me to post a gameplay clip
Not saying that my book is bad at the sentence level but the fact that you immediately thought that you could appreciate it fully from just an excerpt is insanity

>>21417693
but it's not finished

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:54:56 2022 No.21417725 >>21417718 >Not saying that my book is bad at the sentence level you may not be saying it, but you sure are acting like it

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 11:57:04 2022 No.21417734

>>21417718
i thought bioshock infinite was pretty good

anyway, im starting a blog akin to artofmanliness but also with an edge of religious insanity to provide motivation to the masses

my question is, how do i go about this so that i can see incremental gains? i found out that a lot less people are visiting the blogs of my website than they are just visiting the admin login pages for whatever reason

do i start youtube? tiktok? i used to be very good looking but the antipsychotics from the greek like hubris led to my greek like downfall
im hoping to impart some wisdom to people, get a little following for myself. change the world for the better

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 12:11:15 2022 No.21417786 File: 262 KB, 771x1099, PErsonal.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] An oldie.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 12:36:27 2022 No.21417849 >>21417786 Word salad.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 12:42:48 2022 No.21417859 >>21417786 This is bad, man. It's like you're insecure about directly saying what you mean.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 12:55:49 2022 No.21417887 >>21402738 I can do 10k a day, but none of it's any good.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 13:16:31 2022 No.21417931 File: 99 KB, 1614x616, Screenshot (318).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21402691 Which one is better? This is the opening scene. The first draft is complete, and I just started editing it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 13:31:34 2022 No.21417968 File: 167 KB, 591x515, Screenshot_1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21417849 >>21417859 How do I become a less shitty writer?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 13:41:57 2022 No.21418010 >>21417968 what do you read? how often do you read?

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 13:45:35 2022 No.21418030
File: 509 KB, 681x900, al-thalimainWEB2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21417968
>>21417968
Be less wordy for one thing.
>He was taken by the Officers and put in a pseudo laboratory they built inside their van.
>The Officers shoved him into a mobile lab in the back of a van.

>He was given eighteen shots, at the very least, out of a weird mixing plate that had a few fluid filled vials of different colors that were put together in different combinations before he was administered each shot.
>The Officers injected him with eighteen shots of multicolored fluids.

Stop adding extra words to sound smart.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 14:28:14 2022 No.21418171 File: 236 KB, 1688x726, Scrn.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21418030 Is this any better? Left is the original and the less wordy one is on the right.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 14:51:06 2022 No.21418244

>>21402691
This is something old I tried to write; it's the start of a bigger story. Let me know what I should work on, and I don't mind the kind of feedback because I'm emotionally distant from the work now. I need to know how to get objectively better.
https://pastebin.com/CFdkz2Tb
>>21417968
You should make "hand written" one word.
>reddish blue light
Purple? I am finding it hard to understand what you're conveying. If it is red around the edges, but blue generally, just try to say "red-rimmed azure light" or something.
>forced the entire area to slightly emulated a flight
What? Please read that sentence back and try to make it grammatically coherent.
The rest of that sentence seems redundant or misshapen. It feels like you gave up halfway.
As other anons said, you are trying to hard to jam in words, but it just becomes awkward and ugly. You can use $5-10 words once you get good at reading and know from context the layers of meaning, or at least some kind of coherency.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 14:56:34 2022 No.21418262 Where's the best place to post short stories online? I was thinking of making my own website but I'm concerned that it will get zero traffic.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 14:57:56 2022 No.21418267 >>21418262 You'll get zero traffic. Just post on Royal Road

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 15:09:47 2022 No.21418301 >>21415220 Consider swapping the genders. Most people these days cannot comprehend or accept a relationship with such an age gap, but it's easier if it's an old woman with a young guy.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 15:36:40 2022 No.21418371 >>21418301 Do not do this. The vocal twitter crowd is not most people. And your target audience are women who love older men.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:08:58 2022 No.21418479 >>21418267 RR is for long-running web serials. Take your short turds elsewhere, the site is clogged enough as it is

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:34:23 2022 No.21418573 >>21417285 Killing a monster is chunni?

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:39:40 2022 No.21418589

Can I get some help with the first verse of a poem?

Dew drips from ringing bells,
As ripples float over fog-draped Bruges.
From finger to tendon to tongue to mouth,
Sweetly, the carillon sings.

I wanted the third line to sound a bit punchy, like ringing of bells, but I'm not sure if this just sounds stupid instead.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:48:26 2022 No.21418624

Why are the following things looked down upon as "Anime?"
>Character getting stronger
>Characters actually having defined powers
>Characters fighting with said powers and cunning
You do know that this shit is a tale as old as time, right? Mythologies heroes getting all kinds of tools and weapons and having great fights?

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:50:10 2022 No.21418631

>>21418573
Killing a monster is fine - it's the gradeschool attempts to sound cool that are the essence of chuuni. Not necessarily bad since chuuni can be pretty fun in its own right, but if you were attempting to set a serious tone, you failed spectacularly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:50:12 2022 No.21418632 >>21418624 Those things in and of themselves aren't, it's how they're done. The anime power trope is power at the right time that comes from 'looking within', a 'hidden depth', etc.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:50:45 2022 No.21418636 >>21418624 Mythology was a bit more variegated in power levels and all that. And in a way, lots of the demigods and gods were just beyond us and we were too puny to comprehend it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:57:14 2022 No.21418658 >>21418624 It's about the focus of the piece. That kind of shōnenshit has a reputation because it tends to devolve into powerlevel wankery with no greater depth. Ultimately, fiction is only well regarded when it isn't about the fiction ¯\(ツ)/¯

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 16:58:27 2022 No.21418660 It's pretty telling you people know more about manga and anime than actual books... It makes sense why you blame all your problems on the woke industry now.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:05:32 2022 No.21418687 >>21418660 >making up lies

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:07:24 2022 No.21418698 >>21418687 I'm sure you're STILL unpublished because the infrographics about the fall of publishing to diversity are 100% sane and correct. That's not how you greentext anyway.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:09:17 2022 No.21418706 >>21418658 I believe that unless you actually go into depth as to how the character's powers work, then they might as well not be there.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:09:58 2022 No.21418709 >>21418698 I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Calm down there's nothing on this website worth getting so emotional over.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:12:32 2022 No.21418721 File: 126 KB, 950x734, infographic.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21418709 >I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Sorry, I forgot we've been overrun by redditors.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:38:27 2022 No.21418825 >>21418721 Jesus fuck this is stupid

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:44:56 2022 No.21418849 >>21418721 >the publishing industry is a bunch of white women we already knew that, anon

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:47:10 2022 No.21418856 File: 542 KB, 974x960, 1671229853479348.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21418721 Only one statistic missing... obesity. Otherwise, being an author seems like a great way to meet straight, white biological women without disability.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 17:57:21 2022 No.21418900
File: 322 KB, 1780x1374, interns.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21418825
>>21418849
>>21418856
They get bi non-whites to be interns though. I'm not sure if they just use them like slaves. This is the ONLY graph that isn't overwhelming like the other.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 18:02:38 2022 No.21418916 >>21418721 >>21418900 wait a minute where are the joos? my almonds are activating

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 18:06:27 2022 No.21418929
File: 332 KB, 1780x1374, literary agents.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21418916
>Jews
They are in "Other" since they got feedback the first time around that,
>We received more than 50 write-in comments for this question from people who did not feel that any of the options offered adequately represented them. Some identified as Jewish or European. Many specified that they were South Asian and didn’t feel that the overall Asian category was specific enough.
https://blog.leeandlow.com/2020/01/28/2019diversitybaselinesurvey/
It was all self-reported so there is likely some discrepancies in the data. But I don't think the white cis-woman straight disability-less monopoly can be doubted.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 18:11:13 2022 No.21418947 >>21418589 You should have posted bait about anime writing, then maybe you'd get some (You)s

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 18:46:35 2022 No.21419088

What happens when AI can write short stories and novels on the level of published authors? Let's say the bottom 50% of published authors. Like how far are we from the freak out that's currently happening in the drawing, art community, where they cannot tell the difference between AI and people, and the AI is winning awards?

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 18:50:14 2022 No.21419109

>>21419088
>Like how far are we from the freak out that's currently happening in the drawing, art community, where they cannot tell the difference between AI and people, and the AI is winning awards?
if you're writing commercial schlock, you deserve to have your job taken away.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 18:51:32 2022 No.21419114 >>21419088 Instead of one gorillion competitors, I'll have ten gorillion competitors. But I will take those odds

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 18:52:46 2022 No.21419122

>>21419088
like, focus on commercial viability and the people who are happily pandering to it are the singular force which has ruined contemporary literature. i'm certainly not going to need a tissue to get over that one. it's probably for the best that AI relegates Average Man to his Average Pursuits and frees up a bit of headspace in literature for exceptionalism again.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:09:49 2022 No.21419189

>>21419088
Best case scenario: The hacks who shit out mid garbage for a quick buck get shaken off the tree like dead leaves because their stories are indistinguishable from AI, making great art all the more special.
Worst case scenario: The world becomes so flooded with hacks pressing a single button to shit out a story that everyone drowns in the sea of 'content'.
Of course it's going to be the worst case scenario.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:10:47 2022 No.21419193

Excerpt from a burroughs ripoff i wrote while bored in class:

Over near the corner in front of the display board sits Roman Mark who writes hymns and preaches his manhood to small children illuminated by the sickly pale street light of Eltham High Street. Pink glittery tiaras and two-dimensional black-ink cocks hide under tables in a hopeless attempt to escape the wafting cheap perfume stench of a monday afternoon.

And Smiley Hand Brad is sitting at the opposite end of the room discussing height and football and muscle and proper fellatio technique while his hair falls down in side swept drapes as curtains to the cranium.

Critique pls

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:15:57 2022 No.21419220 >>21419088 AI art is fucking soulless

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:27:54 2022 No.21419263 This is gonna sound weird, but how would you describe the feeling and sensation of getting an erection to a female?

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:30:00 2022 No.21419274

>>21404556
Thanks, good feedback!

>why have you broken your paragraphs in the way you have? It seems a bit random/unthought.
I think the main reason why it seems unthoguht is because of the placement of the windshield wiper prank. It should probably be moved to the same paragraph as the Muzak bum removal bit. This would make more sense, I think.

>I can see your intentions too clearly, and it isn't resonant enough to give it the BANG it needs.
Yeah, I see that. It's a le literally me joker inc*l gamer moment type of text, so I think that that automatically makes it kinda predictable. I could lessen the predictability by expanding the text, but an easier partial "fix" would be to remove
>I like to play practical jokes on people
This makes it so that there's less of a setup. Without that one sentence the text reads different, in my opinion, and the end may feel more unexpected.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:32:01 2022 No.21419286

>>21419189
Nightmare scenario: people get so used to incoherent AI content that's tailored only to stimulate dopamine receptors that they become unable to comprehend basic components of life like mechanical causality, logical thinking, human emotion, empathy, and personal motivation, and feel extreme discomfort and confusion when they come across any of these.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:32:28 2022 No.21419291 >>21419274 Meant to reply to >>21415633

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 19:35:35 2022 No.21419304 File: 26 KB, 443x232, nightmare.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21419286 haha imagine if tha- wait...

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 20:14:25 2022 No.21419505 >>21419263 Blood rushing

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 22 20:15:26 2022 No.21419515 >>21418631 I don't see what you mean.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 21:06:24 2022 No.21419719
File: 746 KB, 748x744, 45v0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

ok so you know how in the Brothers Lionheart dying just takes you to live in another plane of existence and this supposedly can repeat ad infinitum each time you die?
I have a bunch of intellectual properties created by this point, which are objectively disconnected from each other
but deep in my mind I want to believe that it's hypothetically possible for people in those realities to reincarnate in one of the other ones that I created
am I a hack?

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 22:14:42 2022 No.21420000

>>21419515
In case you're not trolling
>>>21416851
>So, about that thing you killed. Good job with that, but that's not what I wanted to discuss with you
It seems cool to downplay accomplishments but it immediately puts the tone at a level of informality that seems at odds with the situation.
>So if it's not a congrats
Reads like zoomiespeak. Who are these people supposed to be?
>this thing is on a whole other level
This kind of sentence exists solely to build anticipation, which makes sense for hyping an audience but comes across as weird for a down-to-business briefing.
>A chill ran down my spine. I thought I had seen everything
Cliché followed by a cliché. It also sends mixed signals since to us who have no context, this guy can't possibly be a badass if he gets chills from a few vague words.
>this thing's cells are more like stem cells put on enough performance enhancers to kill a whale
Technobabble of the chuuni kind. The emphasis on scale, which is easy to intuit, the continued use of obvious tension-building tactics.
>They can change function and properties entirely at the drop of a hat, which is why it constantly pulled new tricks out it's ass when it fought you.
The slang feels very out of place. Schoolyard, not military or government. Continued vagaries.
>Dedicating more mass to it's muscles so it could overpower you
Is he telling the narrator what happened in his own fight?
>It's lucky that you got a good shot off before it had time to react or adapt.
Again, without context, this comes across as schoolyard "but then the monster wuz EVEN TUFFER!!1"
>Yeah, kind of. It's a sad fact of life.
While common in dramas, real adults tend not to speak to eachother like this. At least, not very often. Maybe it's a culture thing.
>Feel free to tell me how that strikes you.
Passive aggressive shit. Is he a teenage girl??

Again, if your audience are chuunis or people who enjoy hammy dramas, this is all great stuff. But if this was an attempt to be serious, I would strongly recommend you reexamine whatever media is giving you these impressions.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 22:49:45 2022 No.21420175

Twitter probably just became the best social media platform to build an audience on to sell anything. Chinese spyware excluded.

There is now an analytics button for every tweet that tracks impressesions, engagements, new followers, detail expands, and profile visits.

Anonymous Thu Dec 22 23:58:34 2022 No.21420463

>>21420175
That’s good and all. Selling books still isn’t easy. Amazon controls nearly all distribution to some degree and they don’t have a responsibility to pay that much royalties, which is evident in that they only shell out $250M out of their $1B self-publishing scheme.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 00:11:19 2022 No.21420530 >>21420175 That's been there for quite a while now, but yes, Twitter seems like the best option mostly because the reach is wide

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 00:46:46 2022 No.21420643

>>21419193
>illuminated by the sickly pale street light
Boring.

>hide under tables in a hopeless attempt to escape the wafting cheap perfume stench of a monday afternoon.
I think we all know what's happening here. I don't know how to describe this type of writing. It's not bad even for an imitation. But that's exactly the problem. There's something missing. When you read a sentence, a passage in this same style but in some highly regarded book, there's always something more to it. You're missing that special something here.
Currently, as is, it's too long. "Monday afternoon" doesn't have a special smell to it. But it could, were you to paint that picture. And why is there both "hiding" and "escaping"? You don't need both. Remove one and that alone will dramatically improve the sentence. I also really dislike the phrase "hopeless attempt."

>And Smiley Hand Brad is sitting at the opposite end of the room discussing height and football and muscle and proper fellatio technique while his hair falls down in side swept drapes as curtains to the cranium.
Why "while"? You ruined a thing you had going on there. Just put a comma and an "and."
>drapes as curtains
Obviously, no.
>cranium
Bad. Boring. Reminds me of a wigger rapper tryin' to sound cool in his raps and looking up cool soundin' words to use in said raps. Cranium.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 00:51:12 2022 No.21420657 >>21418589 >punchy, like ringing of bells Try using onomatopoeia-like words that would better evoke the sound of bells ringing.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 01:09:47 2022 No.21420751 Everyone here should watch the documentary about Mozu the Snow Monkey

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 01:11:39 2022 No.21420762

To what degree should one avoid using words based on a cultural legacy in a fictional setting which does not share our history. Most words have some basis in the history and culture of the people who made it, but some words more explicitly represent that history and culture. For example, I think using the word "narcissism" wouldn't be appropriate in a different world setting because it's based on the myth of Narcissus. However, I think the use of the word "panic" would be acceptable despite being based on the mythic character of Pan. Is there any rule or resource that covers what an appropriate balance would be? Would these rules only apply to dialogue and in-universe communication, but not to narration?

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 01:52:11 2022 No.21420900

>>21420762
You're over thinking it. Are they really speaking english in your book? There's an implicit agreement between the reader and the author that the words used convey a meaning the reader will understand. Even if it's some fictional setting many authors still use feet or meters as units of measurement and it never takes people out of their immersion.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 02:05:40 2022 No.21420941 Do we write until we are good, or until we convince people we are good? What is truly objectively good?

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 02:18:28 2022 No.21420988

>>21420000
How does this sound?
>I'm not here to discuss the recent success, I wanted talk about something else related to it.
>What would that be?
>That thing came down in a meteorite, as you might recall.
>Go on
>There were nine more that fell at the exact same time, across the continent. We haven't figured out exactly where they landed just yet, but until we do I want you to stay with us until we have a better grasp on what we're dealing with.
I sighed wearily. Here he was, acting like there was more requirements to this than some extra manpower.
>We're dealing with a big monster, it's not that complicated.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 02:24:42 2022 No.21421017 >>21420900 Thanks. I figured this might be the case, and I've already written the majority of my novel in this fashion so I'd rather not change up the method anyway.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 02:27:02 2022 No.21421030 help, I'm trying to write an old idea I've been in love with for years and it's not as good as it is in my head, how do I break through the cringe barrier

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 03:08:44 2022 No.21421200 File: 383 KB, 1257x835, just meditating.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I don't need women

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 03:08:59 2022 No.21421201 >>21421200 i do, but they don't need me.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 04:11:13 2022 No.21421433 >>21420762 I would avoid slang and curse words people use in the modern world. Just substitute it for their own curses. Fuck > Ooack Damned > Tranqs Brothel > Cookie house.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 04:13:24 2022 No.21421436 >read a book >fantasy setting >Check out this book, it's been translated from Japanese The fuck? Japan exists in a fantasy world?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 04:35:02 2022 No.21421485 File: 20 KB, 146x195, 1668201561075524.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21420941 Neither. We just write it, then we release it

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 04:56:49 2022 No.21421545
File: 143 KB, 1534x978, Ashfall Full Map(WIP).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21402691
How do you guys worldbuild history for your setting.
>Inb4 "Extensive Worldbuilding is a waste of time"
I just want to make a really cool world for a story ill most probably never write. Pic is my current (WIP) world map

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:24:02 2022 No.21421603 Does /lit/ still have a magazine/journal? I want to submit something

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:28:21 2022 No.21421615 >>21421436 Well obviously some concessions have to be made. That's why I used the term "degree."

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:44:29 2022 No.21421670 >>21421545 I just toss in tidbits here and there ala Lord of the Rings style when MC walks by a portrait, shits in a toilet, or even masturbates to some porno of the goddess of the realm.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:47:27 2022 No.21421678 ...What a stupid, old man

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:49:58 2022 No.21421688 >>21420941 Write or die. That is all I know.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:54:06 2022 No.21421709 >>21420941 I just write shit and throw it into the void. Maybe one day someday, someone will read it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:56:41 2022 No.21421718 File: 235 KB, 540x783, 1671757019248835.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21402738 Haven't written anything since the summer but that's going to change... soon...

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 05:57:54 2022 No.21421722 File: 24 KB, 615x443, I151013_153945_541370oTextTRMRMMGLPICT000005834560o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>21402738 I only write when I'm manic.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 06:05:41 2022 No.21421747 >>21421722 Same but I've been in the depressive for, like, 9 years desu

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 06:13:36 2022 No.21421766
File: 1.33 MB, 269x164, 1666467494346932.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21420941
Objectively good is when most people who read what you wrote, say "damn this is good" what you should be aiming for objectively good in terms of prose and subjectively great in terms of content. You want people who read your stuff to GET what you're saying. If they cry when you want them to cry, if they laugh when you want them to laugh, if they smile when you want them to smile and they understand (YOU) then you've done your job. You write until someone puts down your book and keeps thinking about it for days, weeks, years. You write until someone wants to REread your work. You write until you get
>pic rel.
As a reaction from a reader
You write until you write the ONLY thing that could ever possibly be written by you and you alone. And then... You keep... Fucking... WRITING!!!
>t. Hasn't written in months. This is how you know I speak the truth

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 06:37:07 2022 No.21421829 >Find out my premise is almost identical to a thing I have never heard of or read. Dammit

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 07:37:26 2022 No.21421983 >>21421829 That’s inevitable, especially when you’re not experienced nor well read.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 07:42:05 2022 No.21422006 >>21420941 https://youtu.be/Rp9NIZo-OZM

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 07:43:18 2022 No.21422012 >>21421030 Write your high concept story idea in two dozen words or less and submit it to the thread.

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 09:21:58 2022 No.21422297
File: 118 KB, 1280x720, s882s4wh5hb81 (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21402691
In the past 12 months, I've only finished 2 short stories, and spent way too much time on failed novels and short stories.
In that time, zoomers and teenage girls have written like 12 fanfics on AO3.

I think I should've spent more time writing and establishing a good work ethic

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 09:24:28 2022 No.21422306 >>21422297 >should've Why past tense? Establish a good work ethic now.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 09:34:20 2022 No.21422332 >>21420657 Do you think that the line I have there doesn't work? I know 'kill your darlings', but I like the line because it describes the parts of the carillon anatomically.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 09:37:09 2022 No.21422343 Where can I post /x/ like stories? Not exactly creepypastas, but something horror/paranormal/schizo? Would RR be okay?

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 11:44:21 2022 No.21422712
File: 427 KB, 748x756, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21422332
>Do you think that the line I have there doesn't work?
It works, but the possibly bell-like sound of the four back-to-back Ts is muted by the softness of "finger" and "mouth." I also think it is possible for you to find a better anatomical representation for the carillon. "Finger to tendon" doesn't work as well as "tongue to mouth" when describing the 'clapper' of the bell. The bell's shape is easily read as the mouth surrounding the clapper-tongue. And the "tendon" refers to the joint by which the clapper is attached to the bell. But this is not in any way a prominent enough part of the carillon for the reader to get what you're saying. "Finger to tendon" is bad and does not work.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 12:58:12 2022 No.21422886 File: 154 KB, 661x468, Screenshot 2022-12-23 125738.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 13:03:33 2022 No.21422897
File: 246 KB, 1064x1737, article00_1064x.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>21404528
I concur with the general opinion that this is good stuff. The speed and directness and sense of escalation are all really refreshing after all the ponderous scene-setting that seems like an obligation for most of the stories people post here. I'm going to try base my next story on that sense of 'Listen to this voice,' instead of 'Don these VR goggles and enter my fictional world.'

The thing that lets it down for me is that, even though you've found a good form and a good voice, you fill that form with this too-easy épater-la-bourgeoisie content. It does get nuanced by the 'our tongues aren't are own' ending, but I think anything that has to rope in a bunch of shocked normies in order to convince you that it's having an effect loses its directness.

Also huge respect for seemingly having written this in LaTeX.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 13:22:46 2022 No.21422940 I hate all of you niggaz no one replies to my fucking posts

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 14:31:21 2022 No.21423154

>>21422940
Assuming you're talking about feedback on your work, the value of these threads for me isn't necessarily the feedback but the exercise of trying to hone and pare down my pieces until they're fun and attention-grabbing enough for someone on here to feel it worth the effort to reply 'not bad'.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 15:50:46 2022 No.21423390 >>21422886 Boring and AI-written

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 15:59:39 2022 No.21423421 >>21422886 >You >You >You >North face puffer jacket twice I didn't even finish it because it's shit. Not even worth the bandwidth the FBI has to pay to get this post uploaded

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 16:01:34 2022 No.21423430 >>21402738 500~ a day. Keep it up anon

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 17:00:34 2022 No.21423621

>>21422897
>too-easy épater-la-bourgeoisie content
The content is precisely NOT shocking for the sake of shock and nothing more; the form, maybe.

The piece explores the tri-fold relation between pure language, the body, and external social mores and etiquette. We have this beautiful thing that we contort to fit our needs. And it doesn't want to be mundane, and it fights back. The pauses, the umms are us running after these escaping words and tying them together with force. And the words punish us for this.

>Schizophrenic tendencies, moreover, appear to be the price our species pays for glottogony.

But we aren't the ones speaking. Our tongues have been ripped and replaced with mechanical voicemachines. Language and speech is rationalized and de-potentialized. And the ordering expansion of the State is coded with each polite greeting, apology, and formality. The bureaucrat, the politician, the cop, the teacher, your next-door neighbor -- they're all the same.

But maybe, in rejection of politeness, the beastly (yet beautiful and poetic) nature of the word can be turned against the current neoliberal State. It is terrorism, and hopefully, the bureaucrat will be mauled by it, as our bodies have. The series of pranks explores this idea.

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 17:08:12 2022 No.21423660

>>21422897
Thank you for the feedback! You and the other anon both pointed a certain lack of oomph. Either because the text felt predictable in general or, in your case, because the content felt gory but without a point (false!). But that's definitely a fixable issue.

>I'm going to try base my next story on that sense of 'Listen to this voice,' instead of 'Don these VR goggles and enter my fictional world.'
This is what all the books I've read seem to do. I have no idea from where the fuck do all these amateurs writers everywhere get the idea to world-build, scene-set, and of "deep" lore.

And I also really like your pic rel.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 17:55:40 2022 No.21423816 Has anyone finished their story yet? I'm seeing too much laziness in these threads. We haven't had any additions to the pastebin for awhile.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 18:20:27 2022 No.21423915 >>21423816 No because of boogie man 4chan, but that said these anons haven't posted their work on reddit either

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 18:50:55 2022 No.21424067 File: 124 KB, 600x600, 001406-SmurfyChristmas.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >Tfw journals and agents aren't even bothering to decline me this month I guess let's just enjoy the holiday then

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 18:57:39 2022 No.21424107

>0.5 rating on the chapter where the main character narrowly survives being killed by sheer luck and is punished heavily for being a dipshit
What did an anonymous reader on RR mean by this?
God damn I love seeing where people leave ratings like these. It's like peeking into the minds of actual retards. I can practically hear the seething of "NOOO YOU CAN'T JUST SUBVERT MY POWER FANTASY BY HAVING MY SELF-INSERT GET CURBSTOMPED BECAUSE HE'S NOT AS TOUGH AS HE THINKS HE IS!" There's literally zero other reason anyone would leave that rating in that particular spot.
I wonder if these people every figure out that you're not supposed to self-insert into every protagonist and plots are boring without struggle. Probably not.

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 19:03:32 2022 No.21424136

I haven't been on /lit/, let alone /wg/, in a few months. Glad to see people still shitposting on RR and accusing each other of never writing.
>>21424107
Only feedback I ever got on RR was from people in /wg/ and one random retard who wanted to like-4-like their shitty teenage xd random humor. It's cool to have a place to throw shit up on, but I never felt like RR was the right audience. It's just foreign teenagers that want that isaki bullshit and first level ironic trope inversion. Never anything more. Never anything interesting.

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 19:15:09 2022 No.21424195

>>21424136
Yeah RR is the epitome of the anime retard audience. Like sure, there are a few non-retards there, but all you need to do is sort by best rated to see exactly the kind of dumb shit that gets perfect scores from people. God forbid you try to give characters actual depth, or portray realistic things like trauma, violence, illness, addiction, etc. you'll be slapped with a million poor ratings from anonymous morons who are mad that you didn't just make yet another anime plot that they'd get bored of in 10 chapters and drop.
Now to be fair, I did bait these people a bit by making a story that looks a lot like it's going to be a generic isekai power fantasy at the start, but by like chapter 10 it's pretty clear that it's a lot more serious and dark than most of those and by the time the protag gets really, really curbstomped for the first time (not even the first time he nearly dies, just the first he one-sidedly loses a fight) it's very obvious that the story isn't about power fantasy or action, it's pretty much a mystery plot and a character study with action in it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 19:41:02 2022 No.21424338 So I'm writing a story where a woman becomes a man for a day and I'm struggling to decide if I should refer to her as "she" or "he" when she's a man. I feel like both options would be confusing.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 19:51:20 2022 No.21424397 >>21424338 "She" is better

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 19:51:46 2022 No.21424401

>>21424338
She woke up and yawned and felt a weight between her legs, discovered a small smooth penis and two testes, and declared to the world: I am he! This was all it took for a woman to become a man. Not the penis and the testes, no, they were merely accidents of the transformation; the essence of the changing was the statement: I am he! If she says she is he then who are we to differ? Should a she become a he within a word when night turns to morning, then is it really such a shock? No more than a boy becoming a man or a Pikachu a Raichu is a woman declaring, one testicular morning, that she has become a man. The cock and balls are fine additions, to be sure, but she would be a fine gentleman with a vagina too, and perhaps even moreso, as it is true that sometimes what we lack is what really defines us, and there is little that lacks more in this world than a vagina, which is to say: woman being void as she is, chaos incarnate eternally, can be a man or a woman as she wills it, because she is the space for all wills to bear (which is itself a mere placeholder statement, as a woman has no will of her own, and any cock and balls declared are alien to her, mere accidents to the void of her vagina).

I would approach it like that.

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 19:59:37 2022 No.21424448

>>21424107
my first 0.5 star review sort of hardened me up, so don't take shitty ratings to heart, especially on RR. focus on getting the story out and making it the best it can be. I view RR as a place to get beta readers and I've received good feedback there. your end goal after posting your story on RR should be editing the hell out of it even more and then publishing your revised version on amazon, imo

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 20:02:17 2022 No.21424459 >>21424107 Sarah Lin puts her stories on RR before publishing them on Amazon. I saw some post where she said that about one third of readers quit at the protagonist's first set back.

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 20:09:26 2022 No.21424491

>>21424448
Yeah I'm not taking it seriously, I have a dozen 0.5s at this point. I'm laughing at the absurdity of it because it's like 4 times as deep into the story as the next deepest one.
My plan is eventually to edit the story into a better format, but just to make it more readable. It was intended to be a web serial from the start but I realized that was a mistake a while back. Fuck web serials.
>>21424459
Yep, my stats show the same thing. Huge drop the first time the protagonist gets taken by surprise and captured. Then more, smaller drops every failure after that. RR readers are anime tards mostly, so it makes sense.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 20:59:50 2022 No.21424738 >>21424491 >protagonist gets taken by surprise and captured No shit, who wants to read something this fucking dumb. I hope not all your "setbacks" are of this level

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 21:19:40 2022 No.21424822

>>21424491
>>21424738
Yeah! He should have just beaten them all up with his super secret [Class] that is level 9999 than told them all about how bullying is bad. They they could all be friends and fight God who is also totally not my homeroom teacher Mister Rothstein and kill him and then fight superGod who is totally not my mom and kill her too. Then the ultra gigachad MC makes a harem of all the hot girls in my class and fucks them all and they all orgasm 100 times because his dick is SOOOOO big.
You have no talent and you should just quit, anon.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 21:34:52 2022 No.21424888 >>21424195 You bait-and-switched your readers and then complain about them dropping your work after you betrayed their trust?

Anonymous Fri Dec 23 22:56:42 2022 No.21425213

Henry never listens. I said to him, Henry, you can have the sweets after your dinner if you are good, but you must eat all your greens okay? Okay, Henry? All your greens? Well, he nodded, of course, because he's a fucking liar, little Henry. He didn't eat his greens at all. No. He fucked off to the coast while I mowed the lawn and found the first banana boat full of refugees and invited them over. They ate all his greens at dinner time. He stood in the corner eating sweets because he had asked Mohammad to take them down from the shelf for him. I had tried to protest but Jamal gave me such a look I didn't dare continue. And that little shit Henry just eyeballed me the whole time, stood behind Jamal and Tyrone eating his sweets, little gummy worms wriggling around his lips as he stuffed great gobfuls in, and a dozen brown dirty faces stared at me as they ate plate after plate of broccoli, cabbage, peas and string beans.
Good, good, said Jamal, and he ushered me over to show his gratitude. You English, good greens. Henry he say it true: best greens in world. Only £3.99 from Aldi. Wow! Yes, blessing to you Henry-papa, you cook good greens. Now, business. How many women must it be to sleep in your house month to month, yes? I have six sisters on next boat, 2 of them very nice, curved, 1 of them very young and cook well, good goat-head stew, no waste. For all these you have, and we sleep here month to month and they do to you what you say, month to month. You marry all. Henry here he can take a cousin too, she pretty, only 4 year older than he, she help him go man, good. Good? Mister Henry-papa, you good man. And he patted him on the cheek and started yelling at Jamal, his tongue waggling ferociously as though it tried to fly out of his mouth. Henry stood in the corner, gummy worms dripping from his mouth as he stared at me, grinning.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 23 23:48:15 2022 No.21425413 >>21423816 Do you not count authors in the pastebin releasing more books?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 24 00:03:22 2022 No.21425488 >>21425213 The prose is awful, but the content matter interesting. Why is Henry sucking cock though?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 24 00:26:16 2022 No.21425595 New thread >>21425594 >>21425594 >>21425594 >>21425594 >>21425594 >>21425594 >>21425594 >>21425594 >>21425594

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/lit/ - Literature