>>I want to be an atheist
>The(n) be one, its not that hard.
It's actually quite easy, if you're a so-called theist then to the society, e.g. the romans, with a very intensive religious culture you basically already are an atheist; this is how/why the christians were deemed to be atheistic for having essentially a doctrine of nothingness.
i.e. today is the 3rd day from the new moon of the tenth month, it's an important day in the calendar (one of about two-hundred important days) and it forces the practice of a specific action in the civil and family life which, when added to other actions, forms a "culture" by which the self and the home comprises a "state". It's a very important action, and one of about four of this month, the others being celebratory occasions; like the christmas holiday.
Now compare this two-hundred days of important lessons to the christian religion; there are a few feasts and lots of days of mourning for their prophet of which are unconcerned with the cultivation of a good self and family, thus they lack the power of state autonomy.
Compare also to Judaism, which is more similar but less-so at the same time, and compare to Islam which mirrors 'one' Roman month in its eid holiday.
The point being; if your 'theology' has little going on in the real world to actually form and cultivate a good character in a person then you are absent of a real theism; hence you 'are' an atheist and so are the people demanding that you don't eat a pie one day in the year to prove your devotion to their god.
>which can only be done by recognizing that you are them rather than something separate from them
This is true. It really develops upon the natural respect that we already have for the world around us, people are mostly good I think, but it's very easy for bad people to take advantage of their ignorance through the ways you describe (i would call it inferior sophistry rather than logic or rhetoric; since it relies on fallacies and vicefulness; "pride" in faith/egoism, rather than solid cases with proofs) - if, as think has largely been proven from various angles looking at the same question, the typical theist; ignorant of his own holy book, merely speaks his opinion and proclaims it to be the holy word of god; which is pure egoism, whereas logic relies upon studying the material world, without any egoism at all, and submitting the self to the science - only then is one capable of being 'right' about anything.
hail brother or sister, a gift from the ancestors for you on the kalends in honor of the memory of Mars Faunus :)