Call of the Machine Elves

[Anonymous No.21242757]

Looks like F Gardner has another new book out, lads. Is it kino?

[Anonymous No.21242774]

I'll wait for the Audible version

[Anonymous No.21242822]

Dead meme

[Anonymous No.21242937]

>>21242822
Hey I don’t even care if Gardner’s books are memes. They’re the best books this board ever talks about

[Anonymous No.21242977]

>>21242774
I’m sure Spicville will be right on it.

[Anonymous No.21243260]

qrd? How’s it compared to Call of the Crocodile?

[Anonymous No.21243268]

>>21242822
Hey look niggers, this anon thinks his opinion is fact. Ignore it and move on

[Anonymous No.21243456]

>>21242757
Fight me Gardner, i'm a better writer than you will ever be.

[Anonymous No.21243483]

Probably. F Gardner writes good horror.

[Anonymous No.21243504]

Dead meme

[Anonymous No.21243510]

>>21243504
Someone's still posting it. By definition, it isn't dead.

[Anonymous No.21243516]

>>21243510
Yeah, Gardner, spamming and paying for advertising on other websites will do that.

[Anonymous No.21243519]

>>21242757
bro i want to have sex with asuka from neon genesis evangelion

[Anonymous No.21243523]

Terence McKenna is rolling over in his grave.

[Anonymous No.21243524]

>>21243516
I have never read his books, never will, and likewise will not tire of this meme. If you consider it dead, more enjoyment for me.

[Anonymous No.21243567]

>>21243524
I unironically read the books for the schizo esotericism. Gardner is honestly un-fucking matched in terms of sheer entertainment value.

[Anonymous No.21243588]

>>21243567
Simply because you have read less than 30 books in your entire life.

[Anonymous No.21243602]

>>21243588
I would honestly be surprised if you read more books than I do. I read everything. I think most people who read indie books do because they’ve already read all the mainstream drivel and are looking for actually unique literature. Enjoy your Harry Potter and Game of Thrones and stay in your comfort zone if you don’t want to read books you won’t find assigned in schools.

[Anonymous No.21243615]

>I think most people who read indie books do because they’ve already read all the mainstream drivel and are looking for actually unique literature. Enjoy your Harry Potter and Game of Thrones and stay in your comfort zone if you don’t want to read books you won’t find assigned in schools.

[Anonymous No.21243642]

>>21243615
All of those things are true though

You sir, are the soiboy

[Anonymous No.21243643]

>>21243642
>reddit spacing
Go back

[Anonymous No.21243647]

>>21243643
After you, madam

[Anonymous No.21243663]

>>21243602
>>21243642
>>21243647
>t.

[Anonymous No.21243785]

Just to be clear, I'm not a professional 'quote maker'. I'm just an atheist teenager who greatly values his intelligence and scientific fact over any silly mainstream book. This being said, I am open to any and all criticism, but I would honestly be surprised if you read more books than I do; I read everything you won’t find assigned in schools.

In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any Harry Potter and Game of Thrones books within your comfort zone. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence since most people who read indie books do because they’ve already read all the mainstream drivel and are looking for actually unique literature.

[Anonymous No.21243943]

>>21242757
Hey, I did this post in the Horror thread. Shall I do another on this attrocity?

Here's an excerpt from Jikogu:

>He was a boy named Jerry. A Kid from Chicago. It was late afternoon and he was sitting on his front lawn Indian style. His legs were crisscrossed as he sat on the grass and it was so far as otherwise normal summer afternoon. The boy shuffles a deck of cards, holding them up to his face. Not a normal deck of cards.

Let's analyse this...

>He was a boy named Jerry. A Kid from Chicago
As opposed to a goat from New Jersey.
>he was sitting on his front lawn Indian style. His legs were crisscrossed
A borderline racist slur, combined with instructions on how to sit like that for idiots.
>normal summer afternoon
Uh oh... I think something going to get cray
>The boy shuffles a deck of cards, holding them up to his face
We've switched to present tense now. So not only is the boy shuffling in real time, he's shuffling the whilst holding them up to his face. Quite a feat for an Angora from Ohio.
>Not a normal deck of cards.
Fucking knew it. There is nothing normal about this afternoon.

I can't go on. This wouldn't pass a high-school creative writing class unscathed. This is just bad weblit without the commitment to 200 chapters.

[Anonymous No.21243955]

>>21242757
>>21243456

[Anonymous No.21244235]

Memeable cover

[Anonymous No.21244458]

>>21243483
No, he writes horribly. There's a difference.

[Anonymous No.21244527]

Based. Impressive how fast Gardner writes his books. He’s written most of the books from /lit/ at this point

[Anonymous No.21244543]

>>21244458
Frankly this gets my noggin joggin' as to what strain of autism could produce this specific kind of bad.

[Anonymous No.21244559]

>>21244527
By having no standards and doing no editing.
>>21244543
I've long assumed he's both developmentally disabled and alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.21244561]

>>21244559
I read the preview and it read fine.

[Anonymous No.21244643]

>>21244561
Are you an idiot?
It starts right off with present/past tense mixing.
There's the usual overabundant and erroneous placement of commas.
As well as the usual awkward phrasing.
>She was a young woman who was about to assign her kindergarten students a book to read. She was a young kindergarten teacher.
You really think this reads fine???

[Anonymous No.21244674]

>>21244235
Cover rejected from his mom's refrigerator

[Anonymous No.21244726]

>>21244643
>tense mixing

McCarthy does the exact same thing in Blood Meridian.

[Anonymous No.21244742]

>>21244643
>A young woman
>She was a young woman
>She was a young kindergarten teacher
this man is a genius

[Anonymous No.21244747]

>>21244726
McCarthy does so as an intentional style upset.
On the other hand, Gardner was born with a completely flat philtrum. Like, if he were able to grow a mustache, he could just slap the safety razor right under his nose and draw it straight down with no issue whatsoever, on account of having no philtrum, on account of his mom's heavy drinking while she carried him.

[Anonymous No.21244879]

>>21242757
Gardner, why did you stop paying for the ads?

[Anonymous No.21244991]

>>21244747
Yeah but he learned it from Gardner

[Anonymous No.21245227]

>>21244991
Based

[Anonymous No.21245575]

>>21242757
assuming it's as shitty as his other ones and will make me feel gud to be in on a joke, then yes, totally kino

[Anonymous No.21245584]

>>21242757
Is this real or a Photoshop?
Also fucking Gardner, why only ebooks?

[Anonymous No.21245589]

>>21244643
This is great, a young Kindergarten teacher that is yound and teaches kindergarteners

[Anonymous No.21245593]

>>21242757
They are all parody, Gardner uses comic sans
He made a meme out of us

[Anonymous No.21245604]

>>21245584
They’re all paperbacks according to amazon

[Anonymous No.21245648]

Gardner when is the short story collection dropping

[Anonymous No.21245649]

>>21242757
I guess Joe Rogan really left an impression on Gardner when he was on the podcast.

[Anonymous No.21245653]

Can't believe Gardner was on Card's show and called Jim Sterling a tranny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f65pSyTJhD4

[Anonymous No.21245669]

>>21244726
Mixing tenses does not make you Mcarthy. Basic literacy is a good first step though. One day...

[Anonymous No.21245685]

>>21244643
Finished the preview. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a book go so off the rails so quickly.
>>21245649
Yeah seriously. Someone needs to notify Rogan about this book. He’d go ballistic.
>>21245669
>It’s okay when McCarthy does it but not F Gardner!
Lol. Lmao even.
>>21244991
10/10

[Anonymous No.21245705]

>>21245685
>It’s okay when McCarthy does it but not F Gardner!
McCarthy does it to change the impact of a statement.
Gardner does it because he's incompetent and doesn't re-read his work.

See:
>>21243943
>The boy shuffles a deck of cards, holding them up to his face
>We've switched to present tense now. So not only is the boy shuffling in real time, he's shuffling the whilst holding them up to his face.

If it were intentional Gardner would get a pass. It isn't so, he doesn't.

[Anonymous No.21245707]

>>21242757
Fuck off gardner learn how to write

[Anonymous No.21245720]

>>21245705
So if F Gardner suddenly said he does it for the same reason McCarthy does then he’s suddenly a genius? Again, lol.

[Anonymous No.21245732]

>>21245720
I think you have the same reading level as Gardner's writing.

[Anonymous No.21245781]

Gardner’s books read like Chrischan if he grew up with goosebumps instead of Sonic.

[Anonymous No.21245803]

>>21244643
I've never read an F. Gardner excerpt, and even now that it's right in front of me I can't bring myself to do it because I'm afraid to fall on either side of this debate. It's like a forbidden fruit at this point. The only ones who can truly appreciate Gardner's prose are the ones who imagine it themselves

[Anonymous No.21245832]

There’s some really esoteric stuff in their book. I’ll read the rest now.

[Anonymous No.21245837]

>>21245803
I haven’t read them all but this pic from /x/ was what got me curious to read Call of the Crocodile then Call of the Arcade. They’re good reads if you like horror.

[Anonymous No.21245997]

>>21242757
... sorry but wouldn't machine elves be dwarves?

[Anonymous No.21246826]

>>21242757
I read it, what an absolute shit show of a book. Worst shit I ever read and I would kill the author to get the time back I wasted on it

[Anonymous No.21247036]

>>21246826
Be sure to leave that review on Amazon and GoodReads!
It's too late for you, but maybe you can spare someone else the pain!

[Anonymous No.21247160]

>>21245997
nah
they're little creatures that pretty much everyone sees when they smoke DMT.

[Anonymous No.21247217]

>>21243456
He sold more than you woolston. Just take the L

[Anonymous No.21247222]

>>21245781
le crocodile guy

[Anonymous No.21247228]

>>21244643
Here's my edit, Mr. Gardner. Let me know your thoughts when time allows. You're a busy man, surely.

[Anonymous No.21247442]

>>21247160
Does the book involve kindergartners smoking DMT?

[Anonymous No.21247531]

I read it last night. I wasn’t expecting it to go off in such a brutal and gory direction.

[Anonymous No.21247782]

>>21247228
Very good anon. I laughed. Would read more.

[Anonymous No.21247803]

>>21247228
I'd read 200 pages more.

[Anonymous No.21247809]

>>21247782
Perhaps the answer to Gardnerspamming is writing parodies of his work. I'm down for it!
Presenting...Call Of The Plants! (part 1)

The man and the woman stands next to each other. In the lab. Where they study things. By smart people. They were looking at a plant. But not standing too close. To each other. This was the mans doing. Girls are icky.
"I think this plant is alive" the man says.
"Well of course its alive it's a plant who ever heard of a dead plant" the woman expounded with deternimation.
"No that's not what I meant I mean it can, think for itself and has self awearness and in, addition to all that its sentient" the man explains.
"Your crazy plants can't do that" the woman screeches like a harpy.
"Oh yes they can I know it I am absolutely, certain see the way it gives me that dirty look its a, bad plant maybe I will stop watering it" the man says as he bowls the woman over with his superior inteleck.
"You are stupid and your ideas are stupid" the woman pouts hottily in a manner of hating.
"No your stupid you are a woman and I am a, famous scientist and you're just a lab assississtant and I get, payd more than you so neener neener" the man states with pride in his speech.
"Ooooo Im telling on you cause your a, sexist and being a sexist is bad and against women and not good" the woman says by way of angriness.
"Your darn right Im sexy thank you for noticing but I don't like you because your a woman and you have cooties" the man in a smarmy way.
The light shown through the window. The big window. A rectangle. On the other side of the window was the outside. Of the building. That they were in. It was a science factory.
"No I don't mean it like that hey I know why, don't we have a long conservation in this labortory and then we, can discuss whether the plant is sentence" the woman convincess the man into doing.
"Okay yeah sounds fun wheee lets do this" the man says while getting all pumped and posing, like Halk Hogan the strongis man in the world.
"Okay you go first show me any, sign the plant is a smarty pants" the woman throws out there.
"Ha Im not falling for your, trick plants dont wear pants even tho the, words kinda sound the same" the man says with triumph in his voice.
"Oh ya what about Chrismas trees they wear skirts haha you got moded" the woman cheers with the brute force of all her womanly feelings.
"Ya but this plan isn't wearing, a skirt cause it's a boy plant because he, told me so" the man says while jabbing his finger in the direction.
"Your gonna hafta do better than that" the woman told him by way of speaking.

[Anonymous No.21247873]

>>21247782
>>21247803
Thank you, kind sirs.

[Anonymous No.21248066]

>>21247809
Sorry, anon. You just aren't retarded enough to match Gardner. You need to go deeper. Maybe hold your breath until you black out?

[Anonymous No.21248128]

>>21248066
I concede your point...I fear I am too high-functioning to truly write like Gardner, and have no desire to damage my health in order to do so.
Nevertheless...

"Okay here we go hang on to your seatbelt cause this is gonna be a bumpy ride" the man rubs his hands together like he's cold but hes not.
"So okay listen up plant I want you to tell me if sedevacantism is the one true way and if you think so then make no movement at all" he calls out with great confidence.
And true to their word the plant just, sits there and does nothing marking, a great victor for the man cause he's a famous scientist and she's, just an assistant whos just paid to look pretty and doing a darn job of it.
"Oh yeah well this isn't over yet okay plant listen to me if you think the man here is a big poopy head then just sit still and don't make a false move" she says smugly with vindication.
The man reaches toward the plant and pushes the pot and it wiggles around in a seductive dance that makes all the plantofiles really hot under the collar.
"Hey that's not fair you pushed the plant it, was perfectly willing to stay still if you didn't make, it dance involuntary and against its will" the woman said with an accusation tone. In her voice. Out of her mouth. The one with the lipstick. Because girls ware lipstick.
"Nuh uh the plant told me to do that because it wanted, to dance and also you were wrong and what's a matter you, didn't hear the plant say that boy do you look dumb write now" the man says as he dances with the plant with kept dancing to the music in their ears.
"Oh you awful man you're, such a meanie I can't even believe it you give, men everhwere a bad name and if you had one iota of brains in your head you would know that you're a big dumb head and I'll never be your girlfriend cause these legs are closed for business ha ha in your face" the woman accuses in that bitchy way.
"Oh yeah well your not real you're just a tulpa and I've been imagining you the whole time what do you think of that" the man reaches a stirring climax with an, incredible twist truly one for the ages.
"Oh yeah well I'm rubber and you're glue and you bounce off me and stick to you and what's more there's no takebacks so you lose" the woman says for no particulate reason any one can fashion.
"Oh yeah well I called times and so nothing that happened today counts which makes me the big victory and so you loose" the man pumps his fists. Into the air. In cerebration.
"You die now" she says.
"No u" he says.
The man and woman rech for each others, throats and strangle the banjo out of each, other and fall to the floor and die at the, exact same time wow isnt that an incredible coincident.
"Can I say something about this?" the plant interrupted. "I am an angel of the Lord, and I bring a message of great import for all mankind. And that message is–"

[Anonymous No.21248300]

>>21242757
>now it's a joe rogan meme

[Anonymous No.21248625]

>>21248300
These books are like the most Joe Rogan books ever made. The last one was even about gorillas and a guy who smokes DMT and doesn’t believe gorillas are real

[Anonymous No.21249319]

>>21243260
Good. Really good.

[Anonymous No.21249390]

>>21249319
Then why don't you write a review of it on Amazon or GoodReads?
It's obvious why...because you're Gardner, and you're just shill-spamming.
Otherwise, I expect to see you post a review of it.
Good heavens, Gardner, what is it about your life that's so awful that you actually act this way in public?

[Anonymous No.21250000]

It’s trippy. So yes it’s kino

[Anonymous No.21250187]

>>21248625
>doesn’t believe gorillas are real
Chimps are the elderly on steroids.

[Anonymous No.21250655]

>>21249319
It’s his second best. After Jigoku.

[Anonymous No.21250680]

>>21247228
wow

[Anonymous No.21250682]

>>21244643
>It starts right off with present/past tense mixing.
>There's the usual overabundant and erroneous placement of commas.
>As well as the usual awkward phrasing.
>>She was a young woman who was about to assign her kindergarten students a book to read. She was a young kindergarten teacher.
>You really think this reads fine???
All of those are perfectly valid stylistic choices. You got filtered.

[Anonymous No.21250691]

>>21250682
>it's shit on purpose
ah

okay

[Anonymous No.21250884]

>>21242757
I just read some of the preview for Machine Elves.
This is the first time I've bothered to check him out and I can definitely see why he causes midwits to seethe so hard.

[Anonymous No.21250986]

>>21247036
I was just trolling because you know he made this thread and is likely samefagging in it. I didnt read it kek

[Anonymous No.21251198]

>>21250884
Care to elaborate?

[Anonymous No.21251550]

>>21247228
Kino

[Anonymous No.21251875]

Ugh. Is he still alive?

[Anonymous No.21251925]

F Gardner is the gift that keeps on giving.

[Anonymous No.21251956]

>>21251925
>giving
no, you have to pay

[Anonymous No.21251976]

>>21251956
Yeah but only 99 cents.

[Anonymous No.21251986]

>>21251976
>99 cents
>Gardner confirmed ereader tier

[Anonymous No.21252618]

>>21251925
He’s probably the funniest meme here.

[Anonymous No.21252631]

>>21252618
Unintentionally hilarious, you mean.

[Anonymous No.21252650]

>>21247809
I've never read a Gardner book in my life but this sounds fun so I'm just going to write what I think Call of the Crocodile is about;

>Frank had been looking forward to his trip to southeastern Florida ever since the strange voicemail he had received two weeks prior and which consisted of nothing but the unmistakable sound of a crocodile growling until the phone service's time-limit ran out. The first thing he saw upon stepping out of the terminal was a seven-foot-tall man wearing a trench-coat and sunglasses which paired oddly with his strangely elongated face, green, scaled skin, and moving bundle of flesh that stuck out from his right leg and nearly tore through his pants.
>"Mr Gardner? You're just the man I'm looking for, come with me."

[Anonymous No.21252918]

>>21252650
Pretty good guess, but that's too coherent for a Gardner "plot".

[Anonymous No.21253172]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LhLLZvs5iH0&t=4s

Hahaha

[Anonymous No.21253271]

>>21253172
There's a lot of signs of fetal alcohol syndrome in that face...which would explain a lot...

[Anonymous No.21254383]

>>21253172
there's a new Card video too btw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x10E5MyXiM

[Anonymous No.21254546]

>>21253172
omg i don't wanna bump this thread but this is fucking comedy gold. Yo GO f gardner! What a fucking comedy hero, larping it out like a kid pretending to have a radio show. More power to ya!

[Anonymous No.21254611]

>>21253172
Someone sticky this for fucks sake. I can’t stop laughing. Gardner really is some kind of retarded genius.

[Anonymous No.21255060]

holy FUCK

[Anonymous No.21255085]

I'm fucking dying here, it reads like Beckett with down's syndrome

[Anonymous No.21255897]

>>21255060
Why does he write like that? He's restating already established information.

[Anonymous No.21255998]

>>21255060
>>21255085
This is almost Lishian in its repetition and consecution. Dammit. May need to buy his books after all.

[Anonymous No.21256236]

>>21251875
This is going to make it into the next Horrors Call

[Anonymous No.21256574]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VpfWzd97pAM&t=2968s

New Gardner video!

[Anonymous No.21256801]

>>21255060
But who drew the pictures, Gardner. Fuck why are you cryptic?!

[Anonymous No.21256819]

>>21242937
>They’re the best books this board ever talks about
not even true

[Anonymous No.21256835]

>>21255085
I've read kids books to my toddler with this sentence structure.

[Anonymous No.21256855]

>>21256574
F Gardner’s a youtuber now????

[Anonymous No.21257763]

>>21254546

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GRgR_wILqoE

And he keeps doing more.

[Anonymous No.21257985]

>>21256855
Not for long. He'll undoubtedly violate the TOS.

[Anonymous No.21258138]

>>21255897
He's long demonstrated that he has the memory of a goldfish.
He probably doesn't even realize he's repeating.

[Anonymous No.21258220]

>>21257763
Don't his parent know they can just drop him off at the nearest government-run asylum and be done with him forever?
I doubt he knows his own address.

[Anonymous No.21258688]

>>21257763
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i6FQ1k7FMJs

The F man has released another one!

[Anonymous No.21258748]

>posters
>44

hello F(aggot) Gardner, you look like the a kid I shoved into the urinal back in highschool. NGMI!!!

[Anonymous No.21258770]

I love you Gardner

[Anonymous No.21258916]

Gardner, I dare you to write a horror story about garloids. Call of the Garloid.

[Anonymous No.21258927]

Someone just post the Ebook and get this over with

[Anonymous No.21259139]

>>21258688
Woah. Subbed.

[Anonymous No.21259200]

>>21244643
It defeats the expected and literary "She was a young woman who was about to assign her kindergarten students a book to read. She was young for a kindergarten teacher." Lets you into the odd mind of the narrator. Maybe he has head injury, this omniscient noumenal figure.

[Anonymous No.21259544]

>>21256574
Truly the Guenon of our times

[Anonymous No.21259591]

>>21259544
Who?

[Anonymous No.21260108]

>>21247809
Gave me a good hearty laugh

[Anonymous No.21260133]

Gardener is a true Gem
His writing may not be good but he brings happiness to me
Shine on you illiterate diamond!

[Anonymous No.21260147]

>>21242757
faggots ITT

[Anonymous No.21260153]

>>21255897
reminds me of essay I wrote in high school where I just tried to pad out the number of words, looking back at each sentence in isolation without checking if I already said it somewhere else.

[Anonymous No.21260159]

>>21255085
very mysterious indeed

[Anonymous No.21260473]

>>21257763
>>21258688
best part is that's probably his parent's livingroom, so he has to wait for them to leave so he can record his play-at-interview videos. Also his mannerisms, imitating some laid back old author nearing the end of his career. Just lovely!

[Anonymous No.21261611]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LhLLZvs5iH0&t=16s

F Gardner YouTube Channel!

[Anonymous No.21261695]

>>21244643
Is it written by AI, or does it just read like it was written by GPT-3?

[Anonymous No.21261728]

>>21261695
I think it's just you. AI text tends to have slightly worse content and much better form.

[Anonymous No.21261782]

>>21247228
>A marvel, that
Bro, I fucking wheezed.

[Anonymous No.21261787]

nothing has made me laugh harder on this site than this thread.

[Anonymous No.21262283]

>>21260473
It's his parents' living room...he still lives at home with mommy and daddy.
Unless you really think those decorations & furniture convey a *masculine* taste...
>>21261695
More like artificial stupidity.

[Anonymous No.21262407]

OMG, Gardner hasn't posted about himself in almost an hour!
Is he sick? Dead? Or, God help us all...employed?!

[Anonymous No.21262538]

>>21262407
That art AI really noped the fuck out on the blue shirt

[Anonymous No.21262579]

>>21254546
>larping it out like a kid pretending to have a radio show
I'm sorry but I have to ask, have you heard of a website called Twitch? It's like the biggest radio station in the world.

[Anonymous No.21262591]

>>21262579
Twitch is for porn.

[Anonymous No.21262594]

>>21262591
ok boomer

[Anonymous No.21262623]

>>21262594
YouTube is for boomers.
Why isn't he on TikTok?

[Anonymous No.21262666]

>>21262623
He's a millennial and YouTube is enormous. They let you have your own radio show on there, which means you can talk for as long as you want. He seems like he enjoys talking.

[Anonymous No.21262688]

>>21262591
Thought that was Luna Lovegood for a second.

[Anonymous No.21263084]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LhLLZvs5iH0

Gentlemen, F Gardner now has a YouTube!

[Anonymous No.21263324]

>>21262579
you're right. Difference is people on twitch just are themselves. Gardner is pretending to be some knowledgeable author with an aura of dignity and weight. That's what makes it hilarious. since you needed it spelled out i guess you're probably gardner. Hi man! You're an idiot but a lovely one!

[Anonymous No.21263812]

Overall I think his writing style is cute, and as for the subject matter and tone - clearly the books are meant for a younger audience, not for the critical scrutiny of a demanting adult reader.
I wouldn't want to read his new books though, surely he has been made aware of the cult popularity and it would be disappointing to see how that would have tainted his creative output.

[Anonymous No.21263967]

>>21263812
The writing style is juvenile...the subject matter isn't.
You're looking at the work of a literal retard.
His videos show clear signs of fetal alcohol syndrome.
No wonder he's still living with mommy and daddy in his mid-30s.
They feel guilty for what they did to him.

[Anonymous No.21265014]

>>21245837
This image is such a fucking lie. You know the difference between Gardner's books and other outsider artist like Lazerbot TGT? Is that people can give honest to god reasons why its cool beneath the bizarre and memes around, but just get a load of this shit >>21249319 there is literally nothing to say because in reality CotC is so fucking boring

[Anonymous No.21265222]

>>21243643
>reddit spacing

needs a filter to "i'll say anything you want, daddy"

[Anonymous No.21265620]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uSLSKjpDILw

[Anonymous No.21265874]

>>21242937
F Gardner is that you?

[Anonymous No.21266176]

>>21242757
It is kino. Just look at this lads smile. He just causes so much seethe from simply putting himself out there
>>21244643
It’s called exposition. You’d be familiar with it if you’ve ever read a book before.

[Anonymous No.21266206]

>>21266176
Never mind just found out he’s been faking his appraisals. Phony as fuck

[Anonymous No.21266679]

>>21265014
Here's someone with a little more to say about it.

Seems like it's only a matter of time before he gets reported for "spreading misinformation" and gets banned from YouTube permanently.

[Anonymous No.21266699]

>>21266176
No, you cause seethe from shill-spamming, self-stroking, samefagging, and demotivational failed-crabbing.
And exposition is the lowest form of writing.
It's overtelling rather than showing.
It has no inherent narrative drive, and so it's boring for the reader.
Which you would know if you were any kind of writer.

[Anonymous No.21266729]

>>21266699
>demotivational failed-crabbing
This is the impression I get from the anti-Gardner seethers, not Garnder.

[Anonymous No.21266788]

>>21266729
You must be new here.

[Anonymous No.21266825]

Let's check in with how well it isn't selling, shall we?
Here's the actual record of its Amazon rankings:
Day 1: #250723
Day 2: #191277 (hot damn! a sale!)
Day 3: #316013
Day 4: #434243
Day 5: #538055
Day 6: #637984
Day 7: #725627
And all the spam-shilling same-fagging in the world isn't going to change that, you complete phony.

[Anonymous No.21266860]

>>21266825
He has sold more books than i have

[Anonymous No.21266861]

>>21266860
He has sold exactly as many books as you have

[Anonymous No.21266867]

>>21266825
Just let him go. No amount posting will stop him. You are powerless to stop him now, he has thirteen works of literature.
Your posting will not stop him. Because of his thirteen titles he can't be stopped.

[Anonymous No.21266916]

>>21266788
I'm not new. I've been here all summer.

[Anonymous No.21266939]

>>21242757
is this guy writing about his psychedelic experiences, or writing parody based on external sauces

[Anonymous No.21266992]

>>21266939
From what I’ve read they’re serious. Like ultra edgy.

[Anonymous No.21267724]

>>21266729
Yeah Gardner is extremely positive.

[Anonymous No.21267847]

>>21266867
I can stop people from falling for his BS and spending money on his books.
That will continually demonstrate he's a complete phony.
No amount of his posting will ever change that.

[Anonymous No.21268399]

>>21242937
maybe the best books to come out of this board
what you said is just imbecilic

[Anonymous No.21269486]

can someone upload it on zlib

[Anonymous No.21269496]

I'm too scared to call the number.

[Anonymous No.21269821]

>>21267847
he's a WORLD FAMOUS AUTHOR
you're not stopping shit

[Anonymous No.21270075]

>>21267847
are you saying books aren't real

[Anonymous No.21270109]

At least make it [phone] you fucking boomer.

[Anonymous No.21270453]

>>21262591
Who is this semen demon?

[Anonymous No.21270466]

>>21269821
As if.
He's barely famous outside of his bedroom.

[Anonymous No.21271143]

>>>/tv/176933038

/tv/‘s talking about Gardner

[Anonymous No.21271179]

>>21247228
wew

[Anonymous No.21271259]

>>21271143
The absolute madlad can't be contained.
If you niggers weren't such crabs you'd see this for the glorious moment that it is.

[Anonymous No.21271747]

>>21271259

fun has returned

[Anonymous No.21272019]

>>21271259
In case you forgot...you're the biggest crab around here, Frank.
You can dish it out, but you can't take it.

[Anonymous No.21272108]

The 90’s Super Mario Bros movie was a prophesy

F. Gardner has his finger on the high strangeness pulse

[Anonymous No.21272419]

>>21272108
Yeah his videos are really great so far

[Anonymous No.21272914]

>>21243456
You got Gardner'd

[Anonymous No.21272982]

>>21248128
Wow

[Anonymous No.21274589]

>>21266825
Day 8: #792891
All that spam-shilling, all those YouTube videos, and NO SALES...
I'm confident his subscribes/views will turn out to be manufactured too.
Everything about this guy is phony.