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/lit/ - Literature

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21230273 No.21230273 [Reply] [Original]

You'd be jerking off to this if it was a passage in Blood Meridian. Explain why it's bad. I dare you!

>> No.21230285

>>21230273
There are almost no women in Blood Meridian.

>> No.21230351
File: 36 KB, 640x832, 1667661868925692.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21230351

>>21230273
It's weakly written, like a summary instead of a discription of events. Does she lay flat on the shore of the river like a beached whale when she's trying to drink? How like a gargoyle is her poop squat? Does it come out like a stream dribbling from a mountain cleft, or like a child with cheek fulls of water spitting it out all at once? And I'm assuming that there was gas passing with the feces, yet the sounds she makes are never described. We don't know because Martin is a lazy thinker.

>> No.21230356

>>21230273
Good prose is substance. This shit is horrendously written.

>> No.21230357

>>21230273
It's fine as a paragraph, it's just funny to imagine that big fat guy writing it.

>> No.21230380

>>21230351
All irrelevant details.
>>21230356
Meaningless criticisms.
>>21230357
Meaningless, if true.

>> No.21230389

>>21230380
here, read this and compare:

Groans escaped from both her ends as air pockets caught between the turds and her rectum walls released with a bassy roll of wet pops. From where the young man leaned over her could see the ring of light brown wrinkles spread open, and the dark face of the first serpent peek into creation. The body that followed was so much larger than it's nose made it seem. Her circlet clung to it as it passed, as if desperately trying to apprehend the newborn before it could escape, and a projecting sphincter interrupted the once smooth valley between the oracle's spread butt cheeks. She gasped and shuddered against the young man's legs. Though at first the procession was snailishly slow, the ropey length gathered speed until its tail finally threw itself onto the grass behind her, tangling into the rest of its coiled body. Her anus began settling back into place, as dough might, but stopped to shudder at a machine gun burst of flatulence, whose depressive pitch made it sound embarrassed to be there. Without delay, another girthy line of brown paste followed like custard from a machine. Somewhere along it's middle, she contracted her nethers, severing the soft turd in half and squeezing feces into the cleft of her bottom. What had already escaped fell limp beside it's older kin, and in a moment it was joined by the rest of itself with a moist thud. Bitter steam billowed from her leavings. The young man crinkled his nose, while she began catching her breath.
"Are you finished?" the young man said.
"Yes," she said, in her low, scratchy voice.
"Then face the tree and turn your butt towards me."
Still squatting, she rotated until she could rest her cuffed hands against the birch. The young man, kneeling now, found himself staring into the dilations of a reeking black star. He ripped off a sheet of toilet paper, bunched it between his fingers and drew it across the filthy corona, stretching her sphincter and gathering brown sludge beneath the tissue. Thoroughly used, the paper was thrown in with the rest of the refuse and another, clean piece was torn from the roll.
She looked over her shoulder at him, grinning, "have you ever wondered how it tastes?"
"Be quiet," he said, and began wiping again.
"You could just lean in and have a lick and no one would know. I certainly wouldn't tell anybody."
"I said shut up."
"Look, here," she said, "I'll make you something fresh."
She tensed up and began to groan again. He was wiping the inside of her butt cheeks when he saw her rim bunch and erupt with one small, dark turd, right next to his foreknuckles. It slid out, barely missing the young man who had kicked himself up and away from the squatting priestess and now watched as her gift slapped against the ground where he had just been kneeling.
"You're disgusting!"
She laughed and raised her swaying hindquarters at him.
"What are you waiting for imperial?" she called to him, "clean it up!"

>> No.21230410

>>21230389
That was digusting. Still made me laugh tho. Use your powers for good not evil...

>> No.21230436

>>21230389
10/10. I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

>> No.21231354

bump

>> No.21231395

>>21230273
I just want to know the context of this. I haven't read/watched any GoT.

>> No.21231449

>>21231395
Daenerys spends the first half of the book as the conquering queen of this city but she was attacked by conspirators and flew away on her dragon and disappears for the second half of the book.
We come back to her in the last chapter and she's just been chilling with her dragon (who she can't (yet) control) in it's cave but finally decides she needs to chance it and try to leave so she's wandering all alone through the countryside and not doing too well, as you can tell from the passage.

>> No.21231612

>>21230273
I won't even bother. If the degeneracies of a literal neckbeard are what you enjoy, we come from different worlds, and I hope to God it stays that way.

>> No.21231808

>>21230273
I honestly always thought this passage was well written actually, even if it is ludicrous. It's not the prose that makes me hate this.

>> No.21231814

>>21230389
Missed a side-splitting janny joke at the end there so I can't give you any higher than an 8/10.

>> No.21231865
File: 12 KB, 650x650, 1667713751777610.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21231865

>>21230273
i was waiting for this passage the entire time i was reading a song of ice and fire, only to find out it's one of the last pages in the very last chapter of the last book.

>> No.21231967

Is it possible to write a scene focused on a shitting woman without it coming across as fetishistic? I don't think Gurm stood a chance at winning here.

>> No.21232303

>>21231865
the bastard is gonna die and this will be his last goodbye. kek

>> No.21232309

>>21231808
I find the language to be a little bit crude

>> No.21232315

>>21232303
You'd think this would light a fire under his arse to finish WoW and at least try and end that with something poignant.

>> No.21232931

>>21230273
what's the quickest way to purify water bros?

>> No.21232986

>>21231814
I was trying to be subtle

>> No.21233053

>>21230285
Cormac wrote a woman in All the Pretty Horses and he essentially swore off ever trying to write a woman again. This would never be in a Cormac novel.

>> No.21233077

>>21232931
Boil it for 120 seconds

>> No.21233108

>>21230389
goddamn that is so fucking funny, the entire first paragraph is perfection and I say this as someone with a fetish for everything ass related, holy fuck the part where you compare the turds to children (fell limp beside it's older kin) killed me.

>> No.21233113

>>21231808
no, honestly it makes me nauseous to read, not because I am opposed to the imagery but because it is so poorly composed.

>> No.21233118

>>21230273
There is nothing bad in that.
Also, there is nothing remarkable. It's the kind of prose one thousand other writers also write.
Anyone saying otherwise is just judging it by the author, not by the text.
99% of literature is not bad, because writing "well" is extremely easy. Journalists do it all the time.
Originality - style - is what's really difficult, and there are only ten or so truly original writers per generation, or even less.

>> No.21233150

>>21233053
The Deuteragonist of Outer Dark was a woman. Stella Maris is also about a woman.

>> No.21233327

>>21230273
I don't read fantasy dragon power wow! books for paragraphs about diorrhea

>> No.21234072

>>21230273
Good prose is substance. This shit is horrendously written

>> No.21234099

>>21230273
it's actually completely fine and pseuds latch onto it because pee pee and poo poo
i'm not saying that a song of ice and fire is great writing, or even good writing, but there's nothing massively egregious about this bit. it describes the thing it wants to describe very well, and the thing is of plot relevance and character developing relevance

>> No.21234123

>>21230273
>Dude what if Cormac wrote this
>Sunset found her squatting in the arroyo. Groaning. Every excretment was looser than the one prior, and smeller stingier. By the time la luna rose up on the plain she was defecating hydrogen dioxide of coffee color. The more she drank the more she released toxic waste. The more she defiled the more thirsty she became. Thirst thrusted her down on her knees to the corriente to vacuum more of that dark primordial aqua. Por Dios.
Sounds based to me

>> No.21234177

People who focus on surface level irrelevancies like "beauty of language" in prose are midwit redditors. The very people who praise McCarthy for example.

>> No.21234527

>>21234177
So, /lit/?

>> No.21234536

>>21234527
samefag

>> No.21234543

It couldnt be. Corcob doesnt know punctuation.

>> No.21234755

There is literally nothing wrong with this and the books have much more unintentionally comical lewd parts.

>> No.21235556

>>21234536
/Lit/ is just 1 schizo person

>> No.21235574

>>21234177
As opposed to?

>> No.21235594

>>21230273
this is a real gardner-esque passage

>> No.21235629

>>21233077
what if I need to rehydrate and I only have a couple of minutes?

>> No.21235645

>>21234177
Hard cope.

>> No.21235646

>>21234177
I think focusing -entirely- on prose style is a good gateway to deeper analysis of literature in general, yes, but if that's the only thing you focus on, then yes, its midwit. Not in the redditor's sense, though; they tend to dislike "fancy language" and love authors who are either complete straightforward (Orwell and Sanderson being the premier examples), or authors who are "poetic" only to a certain extent (Steinbeck, for another example). Beautiful.innovative/striking language is a key part of capital 'L' literature, though, and shouldn't be neglected.

>> No.21235651

>>21230273
Without a context you can't tell if it's good or bad. It's definetly not badly written.

>>21230380
Based

>>21230389
The first line has great comedic effect, but the rest seems convoluted with too many details and lack of a subjective point if view

>> No.21235657

>>21235646
>I think focusing -entirely- on prose style is a good gateway to deeper analysis of literature in general, yes, but if that's the only thing you focus on, then yes, its midwit.
I messed up; I meant to delete that first part and rewrite it but it didn't delete completely. What I'm trying to say is that focusing entirely on prose is a good start to analyzing literature on a deeper level (prose is the most apparent thing in a book, anyways), which is why so many people who make the jump from "not thinking too much about what they read" to "thinking a little bit about what they read" tend to focus so much on prose. But if you only focus on prose, and never move on to the other aspects that make literature great, then yeah, that's midwit.

>> No.21236071

>>21233113
explain why then or you're full of it

>> No.21236117

>>21230389
This is great prose solely for the extensive vocabulary and syntax. Beyond that, it makes me hurl. It genuinely makes me nauseous.

>> No.21236753

>>21236117
The biblical sounding parts (e.g. the birth of the dark serpent) are genuinely amazing.

>> No.21236766

>>21230273
>Explain why it's bad. I dare you!
Can't be done. It's quite good, actually.

>> No.21236768

>>21236071
It just reads like absolute trash. The choice of words is so poor and betrays an ultimately incapable mind. Every stool was looser than the one before? He just tries to drag out this obnoxious sentence and without any reason as to why doing so, other than him trying to be celebratory in the fact that he is now, at long last, writing in depth about the epically humorous taboo of a girl (teehee) shitting like an animal. As a matter of fact, it would have been a far better sequence if he just took all of her human semblance away and just wrote in great detail about the quality of her diarrhea instead of pretending that there is some semantic value in the random amalgamation of "more" "shat", "drank" and "again".
If you are going to write about a woman completely shitting out her bowels under great physical discomfort and close to her own death perhaps, you should do so properly. This just devalues the person, it devalues the act and it also doesnt create any gravitas: I dont care at all about this person who could be close to death.

>> No.21236818

>>21236768
stool being "loose" is literal medically appropriate terminology, are you esl?
I agree with the rest of what you said which is why I hate gurm, but we were talking purely about prose and his prose isn't bad in itself out of context.

>> No.21236849

>>21236818
I am not saying it's not grammatically correct, it just sounds rancid. And while indeed I am not a native speaker I can still, with great confidence, say that this reads and sounds like a polished turd; ironically, diarrhea cant be polished, maybe Germ should have goon for lumpy stool.

>> No.21236854

>>21234123
5 Star Post Anon.

>> No.21236877

>>21230273
it's good, it's just gross

>> No.21236885

>>21236877
Post something that you wrote please, I wanna see what you'd write, because I dont agree with you (I think the disgust happens on a prosaic level, not content wise)

>> No.21237027

>>21234177
Yeah technical skill is for chuds!

>> No.21237080

>>21235646
>>21235657
This.

>> No.21237716

>>21230389
This shitposting is much better than Pynchon's

>> No.21238923

brap

>> No.21239611

i love how dignified it sounds in the audiobook https://youtu.be/QmKhGqWcJGY

>> No.21239670

>>21230273
There are almost no women in Blood Meridian.

>> No.21240767

>>21236849
>esl has opinions
go back to your shithole you loose turd

>> No.21241522

>>21240767
But, I'm american.