Write What's On Your Minds

[Anonymous No.21217288]

/wwoym/ Owl Boy edition

Previous thread >>21208186

[Anonymous No.21217306]

I dont know what to do with my life.

[Anonymous No.21217308]

>>21217288

[Anonymous No.21217315]

i dont think ive ever had a good and/or good friend, but then again, i have never been a good and/or true friend

[Anonymous No.21217347]

>>21217306
Work you can be proud of.

>>21217315
I make friends easily, but it’s hard keeping in touch and building up longer lasting connections

[Anonymous No.21217363]

>>21217347
I dont what kind of work that could be.

[Anonymous No.21217376]

>>21217363
You’ll know sooner that I.

Volunteer for a soup kitchen for the homeless maybe while you think it over.

[Anonymous No.21217427]

>>21217376
I used to dig holes but nothing.

[Anonymous No.21217444]

D O O R S
O
O
R
S

[Anonymous No.21217613]

I'm extremely unhappy. No woman will ever want to be girlfriend. Why am I such a failure. I worked so hard...

[Anonymous No.21217621]

>>21217613
rip anon.

[Anonymous No.21217645]

>>21217306
Get off 4chan

[Anonymous No.21217677]

Does this fucking board need a containment nazi general THREAD?
OR CAN THE MODS AND JANNIES DO THEIR JOB??

[Anonymous No.21217731]

Give me some hold-your-ground-final-stand type novels
The only ones I know are Sixteen Ways To Defend A Walled City, Warriors of Ultramar, and Wolves of the Calla

[Anonymous No.21217740]

>>21217677
newfag

[Anonymous No.21217781]

I have been writing for a while, little bit over a year. I'm considering of sharing it online,just to get some feedback. But I don't know, I'm by no mean a great writer and I enjoy the feeling of escapism so I rather not tarnish it.i don't quit just because no one else can be bothered to read it, after all I wrote for myself

[Anonymous No.21217785]

>>21217677
Jannies have been deleting threads right now

[Anonymous No.21217815]

>>21217785
No nazi baiting threads yet.

[Anonymous No.21217822]

Besides Joyce, who are the fart patricians of literallyture?

[Anonymous No.21217843]

>>21217815
It's a start

[Anonymous No.21217864]

The YouTuber Jim Sterling used to work at MI6. He even used to say so:

https://youtu.be/f65pSyTJhD4

[Anonymous No.21217939]

I hurt someone inadvertently. Although I didn't know better I should've been better.

[Anonymous No.21217959]

>>21217864
Don't misgender them please.

[Anonymous No.21217967]

>>21217939
What did you do?

[Anonymous No.21217999]

>>21217864
Dead naming is not cool, asshole.

[Anonymous No.21218008]

>>21217999

[Anonymous No.21218017]

>>21217677
>save me from le wrong opinons jannny

[Anonymous No.21218029]

If the babbyword hating anon is still around then you may wish to make space in your personal hate museum for this miserable abortion of the recent past: ADULTING, e.g.:
>went to get my license renewed; ADULTING done for the day!

Additionally, to my fellow OLDFAGS (above anon may wish to consider variations on the ___FAG construction set) : how does one create and maintain friendships as an oldfag autist? I think and I fear that I may simply be too late and that as the youguns are saying nowadays, it's over.

[Anonymous No.21218037]

>>21218029
How old must you be to qualify as an oldfag?

[Anonymous No.21218038]

I was cute and ripped. Then I got a tradie job. I stopped training. Now I'm a mushy schmuck with a shit job. "Learn a trade" is a psyop.

[Anonymous No.21218051]

>>21217967
I'm a bit of touchy guy, especially with people I'm comfortable with. Close friends, I don't go around being cuddly with anyone. So its not surprising I would be a bit more when I'm a little drunk.
I'm friends with this chick, who I would've consider a good friend. We were pretty playful so I thought nothing of it. But the one time I got drunk I don't know what I did but I triggered her trauma. Apparently her ex used to physically assault her. I know I didn't punch her or anything, I vividly remember what I did and what I did not. But I did something that affected her and she wanted to keep her distance from me. But I relented thinking she was just joking when she said I was being annoying. I didn't know about her past, so I assumed so. But I should've stopped. I feel guilty for hurting her even though I didn't know any better.

[Anonymous No.21218090]

The dialectic appears to be evolving towards a major convergence of criticality. An endlessly convolutional interconnected globe results in every relatively local crisis feeding back into a reactive perturbative circuit which amplifies agitations with ever growing informational omnipresence . Errors propagate at conspiratorial light speed, silicate assassinations course through electric grids of compromised systems , AI phantoms stalk the channels. Brain waves are coopted by engines of captivation, mathematicians are slavers of the mind and thrive in an atmosphere of silent crime. Data becomes profits becomes bullets in the outputs of empire . The mind-scape is broken into unreassembleable bits and bytes, and the terminal planetary immune response is guided by the golden hand of hidden elites. The decision heuristics of power are unable to determine valid inferences. Multipolar chaos self-reinforces the unravelling of delicate logistical lattices. Pandemic world-spirit overwhelms prior stabilities, subtly rearranging everything without the appearance of change. Famine functions are activated. Psycho-media conglomerates pump rage stimulants into app-addled receiving meat units, the batteries of passive income once called people. Algorithmic ideological mismatching leads to a universal miscommunication nexus. War drums beat under rippling heat waves.

Can you feel the future contracting? Can you sense how optimistic possibilities shrink and terrible misfortunes grow more probable? Do you know how to make use of a crisis? Are you prepared not with guns and food, but with faith that it's not all for nothing?

[Anonymous No.21218107]

>>21218037
if you're still here after 30, you have no hope.

[Anonymous No.21218127]

>>21217288
I listened to some Bob Seeger, went on to Little Boxes, pic related. The lyrics really moved me. I love individualism and I hate conformity.

[Anonymous No.21218178]

At first, and for the longest time, I had always dismissed the "schizo" and "normie" terms as nothing more than local playment internet culture. But do not be mistaken, because such terms are actually real and rooted in diagnostic critieria, which deeply concerns and troubles me. Why? Just Google "Schizoid Personality Disorder," which I imagine a good percentage of the userbase here "suffers" under.

And what exactly is it? After the article was brought to my attention, I just couldn't help but laugh. Basically, if you don't have somehow have this unsatiable desire for social contact, you must be a schizo. Live alone? Live a quiet life? Live in your own world of books and things, as it is said, your own fantasy world? Schizo. Bah. Of course they mark us, at least in turn they mark themselves. How ridiculous really, and funnily enough they mark other such characteristics that oddly feels directed like "stifled speech" or excessive formality in communication style. Just what do they want, everyone to talk in ebonics?

And if you think I am just taking this too seriously, consider some more characteristics of this "personality disorder" as essentially "sometimes capable of putting on an act to appear social, but actually emotionally closed and closed off." Yes, it's called having a job, and presenting properly in social events and family gatherings.

But heavens no, you can't simply choose isolation in your free time, that's just, unsocial. Truly those who aren't quite like us utterly despise us, eh? I imagine if you're foolish enough to be formally diagnosed, the doctor would pump you up with pills and study you for the thrill of it. Be careful out there, anons, they are basically onto us.

[Anonymous No.21218183]

>>21218178
You're a dumb speedreader. "Schizo" is shorthand for "schizophrenic," not "schizoid." There's a significant difference between the two. You may see anons calling others schizoids from time to time but they are just others who confused the terms as you did.

[Anonymous No.21218198]

>>21218017
How ironic. Your whole ideology is based on mass deportation of people you don't like, if not outright genocide.

GO BACK TO YOUR BOARD, YOU NON-READING b-TARD

[Anonymous No.21218216]

i h8 life and dont care about anything

[Anonymous No.21218239]

>>21217288
I feel like I'm on the verge of going insane. I think I should dropout of Law School, find some shitty low effort job and dedicate most of my time to writing and making music. It's just too draining, and has made me addicted to stimulants. I barely even have time for art now. I never even wanted to be a lawyer, I just wanted to move out of my parents house and the shitty town I lived in, and it was the perfect excuse to do it. I also thought that maybe I could meet interesting people, since this city is known for having a big artistic scene, but to be honest, it has been a huge disappointment.

[Anonymous No.21218252]

>>21217427
Better to dig holes than having to talk to them

[Anonymous No.21218255]

>>21217288
I got within an inch of relapsing on oxycontin yesterday evening, after 8 years clean.
Literally what the fuck save me Jesus.

[Anonymous No.21218271]

>>21218107
This

[Anonymous No.21218352]

>>21217306
marinate yourself in that feeling
by the time you start to enjoy it
it will pass. that's how u got there
in the first place isn't it, owl boy?

[Anonymous No.21218358]

>>21218183
Normally when anon calls anon a schizoid, it's because anon is asking if it's weird they don't feel social needs like other people.
>>21218178 this schizo probably got called a schizo and because he's a schizo he fucked up the research. Anon in general knows the difference and uses them aptly.

[Anonymous No.21218458]

>>21217288
There was something about her purple dress that made me want to vomit, the smallest amount of movement could have turned my stomach inside out and answer to the beckoning of the abyss. God fucking damn it do i miss her. Even tough she's just a faint memory in the back of my head, it feels like she took over me, my intestines and also my hands. I hate myself for it but i cannot stop jerking it to her each and every time the admiral decides to stand up. What would you even call this feeling? When you went so over board with a memory you cannot live with it nor witouth it, when its too much to have yet too important to leave behind. I'm sick of it, all of it.

[Anonymous No.21218515]

I feel like /lit/'s bots problem is getting worse.

[Anonymous No.21218571]

>>21218239
>he didn’t take the T14 public interest pill

[Anonymous No.21218572]

>>21218515
They’re becoming more obvious.

[Anonymous No.21218579]

I must coom.

[Anonymous No.21218689]

Interesting thread
>>>/pol/403060748

>>21217306
>>21217363
May be relevant

[Anonymous No.21218705]

I'm trying to start a cult/secret society but i dont really know how to start. Do you guys have any good literature on it? Ive looked into books of that Japanese cult in the 80s and 90s too.

[Anonymous No.21218728]

EXPLAIN HERACLITUS OR I'LL KILL YOU! DON'T DUMB IT DOWN TO SOME UNDERGRAD-LEVEL TRIPE! WHAT THE HELL IS THE TENSION OF OPPOSITES? WHY DID HE SAY THAT THE WORLD COMPOSED OF FIRE? EXPLAIN HERACLITUS RIGHT NOW OR I'LL LITERALLY KILL YOU!

[Anonymous No.21218750]

>>21217288
owlboy wit da car

[Anonymous No.21218819]

I spilled half a full can of beer all over my bed last night and now my room smells sticky and sweet.

[Anonymous No.21218905]

>I work in a pipeline for a man from the south.
>"listen to my buddy, I have three things to say to you..."
>I went to Wendy's yesterday.
>as I order for a baconator, the Wendys commercial featuring Rick and Morty plays in my head like a computer program over and over again.
>but they don't serve frosty ccinos in my country
>"frosty ccinos are bruisers, Morty"
>The mall was crowded because it is the timeframe everyone has to do what they have to.
>I tried to buy a acoustic guitar with steel strings
>but the card was rejected because I exceeded the maximum
>it was probably a bad economic choice anyway
>"...the problem is, I cannot attach the image from the computer to my corporate email account because the email is being rendered from a virtual environment"
>the man looks at me with the curiosity of a dog
>an animal barely understanding the technology in front on him and the problem I have
>he is my handler
>is the only name I can think of without using those royalty titles invented in California

[Anonymous No.21219046]

Interestingly I've just started reading war and peace. I'm on chapter 26, what chapter does the fighting start?

[Anonymous No.21219066]

What is the coolest or sexiest or most aesthetic the Millennial generation ever was?

Pic unrelated, because I can't think of anything to start with.

[Anonymous No.21219101]

>>21218819
disgusting

[Anonymous No.21219235]

anyone else feel the need to communicate their ideas to the whole of humanity? lately I have been feeling that is extremely important that the rest of humanity realizes what I have realized. I get the overwhelming feeling like the development of humanity and the future of humanity depends entirely on me communicating my ideas to them.

[Anonymous No.21219254]

>>21217613
Women are massively overrated sources of happiness. The problem in the Christian West in general is that we've all been sold on the premise that one day we are destined to find our "soul mate" who will bring us completeness and deep spiritual joy. This is a huge smear of shit philosophically speaking. Now are there "good women"? Yes there are. I had a friend who married a hot bar slut and they had a kid. The kid signed a $600,000 a year major league baseball contract a few years back as a rookie. My friend makes good money in the city bureaucracy. People that make this work are hard nosed rutheless calculating fuckers without airy fairy delusions about life.

I'm happy for my friend and I'm pretty happy with my life. Go ahead and be happy with your life. If you're not suffering from cancer of the asshole or going blind you've got it made in the shade. Enjoy. It won't last long. Death beckons all of us.

[Anonymous No.21219340]

How do you imagine the world in 2030? What about 2050?

[Anonymous No.21219349]

>>21219340
>2030
not that different from today
>2050
the culture becomes entirely different because all the boomers and old people have died and zoomers are now the people who are creating the culture. there will be an insanely radical shift in culture and society as the people raised on the internet become the main producers of culture. literally anything will be possible at this point. We have absolutely no idea how the internet will affect people in the long run yet. it could create the übermensch or it could cause humanity to whimper out of existence like the idea of plugging yourself into a pleasure machine while your body wastes away. It could create the greatest geniuses of all time as any random person who may have had 200 IQ but died in total obscurity due to lack of opportunities in the past will now have access to the collective knowledge of 5,000 years of humans completely at their fingertips. but it could also make everyone retarded and utterly fragment the self until the human organism itself gains a macroscopic version of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder where humanity will become subject to global mass hysteria and complete changes in culture at the whim of extremely potent but extremely short lived spontaneously produced mimetic viruses transmitted through the internet. nobody knows

[Anonymous No.21219379]

>>21219349
>not that different from today
So you think 2014 was similar to today? A lot has changed anon...

[Anonymous No.21219413]

>>21219340
I don't.

[Anonymous No.21219418]

>doesn't like fiction
>doesn't like movies
>doesn't like tv shows
>doesn't like any sort of games
what kind of person would that be?

[Anonymous No.21219429]

>completely given up on politics and whatnot and lost the passion it filled me with
>just finished my book and dont feel like moving on to the next
>just finished the tv show and theres nothing that interests me to watch
>im just sitting here or pacing back and fourth wondering what the fuck ive done with my life because i suddenly feel completely hollow

[Anonymous No.21219464]

>>21219418
A boring one

[Anonymous No.21219466]

I guess I Just Wasn't Made For These Times

[Anonymous No.21219536]

The homeless weaponise the pity and kindness of good natured people to predate upon them. There is no way to engage them in conversation because they are only thinking about your money and food, and they believe they are entitled to it. The only effective way I've found to treat them is to pretend that they don't exist at all, or part of the fauna, which usually prevents an outburst. I hate cruelty and cravenness above all other things. The angels will descend and clean everything out one day

[Anonymous No.21219562]

>>21219536
You only do good things if they make you feel good.

[Anonymous No.21219573]

>>21219562
I do good things because they are a relief to the suffering of the world

[Anonymous No.21219578]

>>21217288
Balzac est l'Artiste par excellence ... le sien poésie est magnifique

[Anonymous No.21219580]

>>21219573
No you don't.

[Anonymous No.21219588]

>>21219580
I had sex with your gf to relieve the suffering of her unfulfilled desires

[Anonymous No.21219591]

>>21219588
I don't have a gf.

[Anonymous No.21219679]

I think I just had an eurêka moment concerning sincerity. I will not be afraid of telling people what and how I feel from now on. Life has turned exciting.

[Anonymous No.21219690]

>>21219679
Addendum : Not just sincerity but transperancy as well. Somehow i reached this conclusion that if I gather the strength to be truthful and make it my mission to deliver what I deeply believe to be true, then my self would become transparent enough to let the magnificent, majestic light of life pass through me instead of blocking it with self centered bs etc. I don't know if any of this makes decent sense but I do feel a profound peace that hasn't been within me in years.

[Anonymous No.21219700]

I am surrounded by filth. I am too lazy to get up and do something

[Anonymous No.21219702]

At least half of the posters on this board unironically deserve a slow and painful death.

[Anonymous No.21219710]

>>21219700
I am also surrounded by filth, but I hope to do something about it someday, like move out to the middle of nowhere to escape it or cause a string of mass violence that will cleanse the filth from the cities.

[Anonymous No.21219725]

I feel as if fate itself is keeping me from doing what I want to do.

[Anonymous No.21219726]

>>21219466
They say I got brains but they ain't doin' me no good

[Anonymous No.21219730]

>>21219702
Anon deserves friendship.

[Anonymous No.21219737]

I'm going to die penniless and alone.

[Anonymous No.21219741]

>>21219737
No. I love you you are my friend.

[Anonymous No.21219805]

My cat is dead. The little kitten I rescued, whose trust I earned, who fit in the palm of my hand, who I nursed to health. I still have to look people in the eye when I fail to meet up to their pretensions. I thought I had to do this one good deed, I could never have anticipated what a treasure his companionship would be. I'm left with some dark thoughts about the nature of my loneliness which I'd rather not think about. I can't square it emotionally, even though I feel obligated to do so. They are going to hold this privation over you. They are going to understand it on a level you never could, only to profit from it. They're going compose new memories in place of the old ones. This story's conclusion is in the occasional sense of disgust.

[Anonymous No.21219806]

>>21219429
Hit the gym. But also, it's ok to "do nothing" for a while. You may simply need some time to recharge. With that said, you have to be very very careful to not fall into a rut.

[Anonymous No.21219809]

>>21219805
I'm sorry for you loss. I'm sorry death is a thing. I hope for you peace.

[Anonymous No.21219811]

isnt it amazing how some random dude 200 years ago had the same thoughts and feelings that you do right now? reading is crazy

[Anonymous No.21219812]

>>21219679
>>21219690
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Religions_are_One

[Anonymous No.21219823]

Its been a good weekend. Got a lot of jobs done that I'd been putting off. Enjoyer some drinks with a friend but didn't get so drunk that I ruined the rest of the weekend. Going to read now and then go to the gym. Feeling happy and content.

[Anonymous No.21219830]

For so long I wanted to find someone perfect to follow. Someone who was untouchable, who would fix everything wrong with the world, who was unbeatable.

There is no such person. If change is to come and this world is to be fixed, it will have to be done by flawed, messed-up people like us.

[Anonymous No.21219847]

>>21219805
My condolences to you, anon. You can still be kind to other animals that are running out and about around your world.

[Anonymous No.21219861]

Sometimes I think about all of those medieval noblemen and wonder what they would possibly do with themselves today.

[Anonymous No.21219863]

I have back pain and I hate myself so much. I have back pain and I don’t have a single hobby.

[Anonymous No.21219864]

Teenage me thought adult me would be some kind of wise, mature man of strong willpower and stoic nature. In reality I'm just as prideful and quick to make dumb decisions as I was when I was in high school. The only difference is that now when I tear up while listening to Mineral I'm not ashamed to admit it.

[Anonymous No.21219898]

Is the catalogue frozen for anyone else?

[Anonymous No.21219916]

>>21219861
Probably be disgusted

[Anonymous No.21219925]

>>21219830
As in like look up to? Have you tried looking up to someone who was successful but dead now?

>>21219823
Yayayaya

>>21219811
What specific book though, because I imagine myself fucking each character

[Anonymous No.21219935]

Test bump

[Anonymous No.21220001]

When I was just starting writing as a hobby, I wanted to write short and silly, light-hearted stories. A conscious decision through and through, I've limited my scope and my "palette" for the sake of more focused practice. Conflicts in those stories were at their core inconveniences at best, usually rather small. I quite enjoyed writing those, and the resulting stories were met reasonably well by the community.

After a while I started trying for something bigger and meatier, and in the process I've discovered that, given the space and time, I can't help "upping the stakes".

Let's say, a short story: a guy's PC stops working right when he needs it, and we get a chuckle out of his technical ineptitude and some social shenanigans.

Now, a long story: a regular guy's down on his luck and effectively enslaved by his circumstances; his routines vary from, say, cleaning communal showers and restrooms to, for instance, cleaning up torn and disemboweled corpses from an open field while being on a strict timer. His non-routine may or may not include getting caught by organ traffickers (and getting one of his lungs extracted), butting heads with local criminal cartel over their threat to poison water for the whole town, uncovering corporate plot involving human sacrifice — you get the general idea. By the end of every branch I've imagined so far, The Guy will be lucky to stand in a pool of blood and shit that only goes up to his waist.

And I must admit, figuring out different ways to make my guy squirm is absolutely the most enjoyable part of the process. Bad weather, verbal abuse, physical assault, equipment failure, imprisonment, getting shot at while unarmed, helplessly watching the girl he likes tortured in front of him — yes, please, all of that! In the process my characters melt and morph just so I can make them suffer more efficiently.

And when I step back to look at what I'm doing, I'm ashamed and repulsed. Lord knows there's enough pain and misery in this world, why would I paint more of them, and so vividly?

[Anonymous No.21220007]

>>21219861
They'd be useless illiterate drunks like their descendents still are.

[Anonymous No.21220011]

>>21217288
My Dad died 6 weeks ago, when will I start being able to enjoy things again?

[Anonymous No.21220055]

>>21219805
how'd he die
last nov i found a kitten in the bushes had him for 2 days then i had to leave him back there man he seemed so quiet and disappointed when i took him back

[Anonymous No.21220062]

i am reading a book of the transcripts of hitlers meetings with his generals and this nigga needs to chill fr fr no cap

[Anonymous No.21220064]

Do you think it's possible to cure yourself of perversions?

[Anonymous No.21220078]

>>21220011
Sorry for your loss, anon.

[Anonymous No.21220094]

I wish I could stop being afraid of killing myself

[Anonymous No.21220129]

27, never hugged a girl, don't remember any good days, maybe in early childhood? See no reason to go on, why do i even bother to go to work, to pay taxes? I'am petrified, everyday getting worse, spite.

[Anonymous No.21220132]

>>21220064
Yes, I did it. What kind of perversions are you talking about? If it's just sexual, then just stop watching porn and masturbating and try as much as possible not to have any sexual fantasies or thoughts. It will be tough for the first few months but then it becomes second nature.

[Anonymous No.21220155]

>>21217288

[Anonymous No.21220156]

>>21220064
What kind of perversions? It might be possible

[Anonymous No.21220159]

are there ever intelligent people who rift like a dumb hillbilly family guy style and don't like to talk like intelligent people a lot of times

[Anonymous No.21220160]

>>21220055
why didn’t you take him to an animal shelter instead of just leaving him in a bush? you probably doomed him to die on his own, asshole

[Anonymous No.21220175]

>>21218705
also any spy shit or info on how people infiltrated societies

[Anonymous No.21220176]

>>21220160
there are no animal shelters here
he seemed very clever and enthusiastic for his age survived fine on his own until then
i'm a neet who already saved two cats a year or so before parents were not appreciating it and i didn't want to gain reputation as good for nothing catman
chemistry with cat at him was going to hard to figure out
i committed to bringing him food everyday but he disappeared after couple days some passerby probably took him

[Anonymous No.21220186]

>>21220011
when you grow balls that's what happens when our fathers die read Confucius

[Anonymous No.21220188]

>>21220176
chemistry with cat at home*

[Anonymous No.21220324]

I feel disappointed and a bit like pseud because my weeksdays are hectic and noisy and I simply won't commit to any works longer than 150 pgs, so:
>I've read Kipling's short stories but never Kim
>I've read Billy Bud and Benito Cereno but never Moby Dick
>I've read Hawthorne's entire short stories but never the Scarlet Letter
>I've read Youth, Heart of Darkness, NotN but never Nostromo
>I've read Hardy's story collection but never Tess
and so it goes. It's like I'm only allowed a glimpse of literature because I'm afraid to commit to a single work for more than a couple of days.

[Anonymous No.21220341]

Can't a man just bawl in peace these days? I'm having a moment here, fuck off with your "it's 3 am" bullshit!

[Anonymous No.21220485]

I've recently developed the habit of picking my nose and creating a big booger ball and then squishing the ball onto my table and letting it dry so its hard. Then I put all the hardened boogers into a pile and squeeze them between my finger nails to see if I can crack them in half. The hardened boogers usually crack but I have a few that don't even chip.
It's a pretty gross habit but it's like my version of a fidget spinner.

[Anonymous No.21220487]

>>21220485
As I posted this my favourite hardened booger just broke in half ='(

[Anonymous No.21220495]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it’s an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies I don’t think I am” “I think not!” POOF! The horse disappears.
You see, this is a joke about Descartes famous line 'i think, therefore i am'. But if i had explained that before the joke i would be putting Descartes before the horse

[Anonymous No.21220542]

I've always been a very frugal person. I always bought the cheapest version of everything or I bought second hand. Finally earning enough that I can buy slightly nicer stuff. Nothing too expensive, but the cheapest 'nice' version of a thing. It's funny how much more normal it makes me feel to look around my room or house and not be looking at total junk. I get that it makes me sound materialistic and bourgeois but it's nice for a change.

[Anonymous No.21220548]

anyone else feel like they have a weak or latent synesthesia? any time I read an author I feel like I am experiencing a vague color the whole time that I've associated with their style and thought

[Anonymous No.21220570]

>>21220542
i'd rather have good quality used beat up things than new things

[Anonymous No.21220629]

I've put aside about $22k in cash. I desperately want to quit my job and do nothing but write for a year, but I won't even be able to secure an apartment without proof of income.

[Anonymouṡ No.21220640]

>>21217822
Let's have a FART REFERENCES IN THE CANON subthread. Here are three to kick things off. (inb4 "the last is too recent to be pronounced canonical". I don't care.)


This Nicholas anon leet flee a fart,
As greet as it had been a thonder-dent,
That with the strook he was almost y-blent...

— Chaucer, 'The Miller's Tale'


No barrel, losing cant or hoop around,
Has yawned as wide as one I saw, ripped right
From chin to where we make the crudest sound.

Between his legs the entrails hung, with lights
And heart exposed, as was the wretched sack
Which turns to excrement each swallowed bite.

— Dante, 'Inferno'


The last time I lunched here was with Seals. A few weeks ago. I thought we were going to be eighty-sixed.
Thrown out.
Yes.
What happened?
The place was crowded and someone unleashed a truly villainous fart. Absolutely horrible. I looked around at the adjoining tables and people were just sitting there with their eyes glazed over. So Seals throws down his napkin and pushes back his chair and rises and demands to know who did it. Christ. We're going to get to the bottom of this, he says.

— McCarthy, 'The Passenger'

[Anonymous No.21220651]

>>21220640
I did something like the last example in high school once, while powerwalking through the corridors after holding it in the entire class. I went by too fast to see all the reactions but I remember a couple people actually cried out loud

[Anonymous No.21220742]

>Be "gifted" child all my life
>This continues in college and grad school
>Supervisors also say i'm smart (at least in the topic i studied) but that i wouldn't really get far into academia because my communicative skills are dogshit
I just cannot properly communicate with people. I dont like socializing, i come across as a weird and awkward autist, i dont like going out. I wish people taught me this earlier, rather than just saying "hurr youre smart, you'll go far"

[Anonymous No.21220772]

I’m an AFAB bigender person, mostly masculine. Every once in a while, I come on here and comment something that claims I’m a woman. Pretty soon, someone will come along and tell me I’m a man, I’m a gay man, I’ve always been a man, and I’ll always be a man. So I just wanted to say thanks for affirming my gender and sexual orientation anons, it’s a real pick-me-up <3

[Anonymous No.21220773]

>>21220742
It's a system designed for normalfaggots

[Anonymous No.21220794]

>>21217288
this board is absolutely shit
noone reads anything
philosophy should have its own board

[Anonymous No.21220804]

When I look, I see with Wagner's eyes. When I reach, I grab with Christ's hand. When I stand, I raise myself with Weininger's feet

[Anonymouṡ No.21220806]

>>21220794
>noone reads anything
Almost no-one. But I'm only one person.

[Anonymouṡ No.21220825]

>>21219830
Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
Psalms 146:3

[Anonymous No.21220831]

>wake up
>its 1 AM
Time to start my day haha!

[Anonymous No.21220870]

>>21217288
>Usually skip past introductions by translators
>Just opened the book by chance and it happens to be on one of the introduction pages
>At a split second glance I saw it mentions the main character commiting suicide.

What the actual fuck is their fucking problem? Who the fuck does that and why the fuck would you mention something that seems to be a massive spoiler in the introduction of all places? Like for fucks sake, couldn't you put your thoughts about the plot in the back of the book as an afterthought thing?

Is this common with introductions? I always skipped them out of pure laziness but now I fell I should always skip them. Do they expect people reading the book to have already read it?

[Anonymous No.21220874]

>>21220870
>Read New Testament translation
>Mentions how Jesus gets crucified
Fucking spoilers

[Anonymous No.21220894]

>>21220742
I also suffer from this. How do you even learn to network and use it to your advantage when you're well out of college already? I feel so behind.

[Anonymous No.21220918]

>>21220742
What degrees?

[Anonymous No.21220923]

>>21220918
Molecular bio-fag. I'm really good at data-analysis, but the issue with academic work in molbio is that you are always part of a team, always have to coordinate in tandem with others, usually other departments as well.
I'm also clumsy in the lab, and despite my best efforts to improve here, i'm still sub-par at it.

[Anonymous No.21220939]

>>21220548
I had something like it when I was a kid, I would subconsciously associate numbers and days of the week with their own colors

[Anonymous No.21220959]

>>21217288
I feel like I am addicted to music.

I can make my morning coffee which listening to music as I wake up then suddenly lose my whole morning just listening to music. I would just be playing certain songs and fantasize/daydream scenarios.

It's pretty bad I feel. Should I cut out music from my life? Or is using wireless headphones creating this effect on me where not having a wire is keeping me distracted due to how freely I can move and get lost where the is no limitations of the physical wire to keep me it the "real world"

[Anonymous No.21220964]

>>21220742
>>21220894
you need to realize you're not actually smart. i've also been told similarly - parents, friends, teachers, workmates, bosses. just goes in one ear and out the other. never once made studying any easier or a job any more doable. swallow your conceit and play nice. only the truly exceptional actually possess the intelligence to do away with others. your real gift is doing certain things just a little bit better than most.

[Anonymous No.21220982]

>>21217288
Was talking/texting some girl. Thought she was into me. Haven't been this comfy with someone in years. Starts talking about some other dudes who seemed like her beta orbiters. She is semi making fun of them and screencapping their texts to send me.

Hits me that she is probably doing the same shit to me. Start freezing up with what I say. Start getting paranoid about texting other girls.

Tbh guys, this is why I'm starting to think if you are into a girl you should keep texting them and chatting to them to a minimum. Just use it for short answers or to organising something and save those conversations you might be having over text for IRL.

[Anonymous No.21220986]

>>21220939
well apparently all babies are synesthetes and it goes away as your brain crystallizes. I just feel like it's still there in a latent form but on the very edge between conscious and subconscious. it's probably the case that we all still have synesthesia in the subconscious mind or while dreaming.

[Anonymous No.21221008]

>>21220959
same thing happens to me anon, I’m a graduate student and will take breaks while studying to listen to music but the time runs away from me. it’s probably because the non music stuff sucks so much lol

[Anonymous No.21221021]

>>21220986
You're right, I think I still have something like it when I dream. It's almost impossible to put into words but it's some weird form of perception that's visual but not like actually seeing, just visualizations inside the mind's eye. Or some shit like that, also thoughts converting to images/events, like involuntary lucid dreaming i guess

[Anonymous No.21221080]

>>21220964
idk if i'm in the smart boat but i do have interests and better at some things than others and have had the communication issue
in my case people have given me enough shit for it that i don't even want to improve out of bitterness more like it would take me being with people to improve but i don't want to

[Anonymous No.21221096]

I care about other people and their opinions way too much than about myself.

[Anonymous No.21221124]

>>21220923
I worked briefly as a data analyst on the administrative staff at my university once I abandoned a graduate degree. The job did not pay particularly well, but it paid well enough. It was remote with the option to work in person and I spent most of my time working alone with a few hours of phone calls per week. Most all universities provide good benefits, but if you work at a public university, you can receive a pension. Perhaps you should consider it. Your university will most likely have a job board for administration positions.

[Anonymous No.21221173]

>>21219254
>women are massively overrated sources of happiness

Literally this.

It's so sad seeing men my age (late teens/early twenties) throw their lives away for the pursit of or even over the loss of a woman.

I wish more people, especially on this website, could understand you should look for happiness from within rather than from outsiders.

[Anonymous No.21221185]

>>21221124
The funny thing is that as a lab analyst, youre actually not doing that much data analysis, which sucks because thats what i find most fun.

[Anonymous No.21221189]

>>21217288
I always knew my gf was way better looking than me and I know she loves me and all but she said something kind of fucked up. She says even though I'm not exactly good looking in the conventional way, she likes the degrading aspect of a guy like me fucking her and her loving me all the same.

How common is this mentality with women

[Anonymous No.21221196]

>tfw extremely bitter and filled with hate against the world
>tfw this turns me despondent and frigid
is there any way i can turn this dislike for the world into something more productive?

[Anonymous No.21221203]

>>21221189
Anon there are certain questions best left unanswered

[Anonymous No.21221263]

>>21221185
I suppose you might want to try one of these data analyst jobs I describe. Working in university administration has its drawbacks but it's comfortable at least.

[Anonymous No.21221266]

>>21220772
Kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.21221295]

>>21221189

[Anonymous No.21221433]

>>21217288
Roommate is moving out in a month or two. We're best friends and it hurts that I won't be able to hang out with him as much.

[Anonymous No.21221461]

>>21220064
Depends. I used to think that I’d never be able to cure myself of sex addiction, but I was able to do it once I was in a relationship and had a healthy outlet for my sexual urges. My relationship also gave me the incentive to dismiss any thoughts and desires for other women out of respect for my fiancée, and living with her keeps me accountable since she’s around all the time. The thought of watching porn or having sex with strangers doesn’t interest me anymore, because having sex with someone I love is so much better. Being loved by her fulfills the emotional need that drove my sex addiction, whereas the stuff I used to do only fulfilled a physical need and made me feel like a POS after.

But if I hadn’t met her I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it on my own. So it might not be possible for you, I don’t know.

[Anonymous No.21221482]

I teach 10th Grade English. This is currently the writers I teach. Which writers should I add to enhance my classroom and taste in students?

Rilke
Pirandello
Kafka
Isak Denesen
Anna Akhmatova
Federico Garcia Lorca
Albert Camus
Primo Levi
Czeslaw Milosz
Wislawa Szymborska
Gabriela Mistral
Borges
Neruda
Paz
Cortazar
Gabo
Luisa Valenzuela
Chinua Achebe
Kawabata
Bei Dao
Solzhenitsyn

Writers I am considering adding:
- Gombrowicz
- Mishima
- Bolano
- T. Wolfe
- Crane
- Desnos
- Breton
- Trakl
- Proust

I need some good Russian short stories. Eventually, I need to add drama. Currently, at a public high school, but will be enrolling in a respected Master of Arts in Teaching English program, which, along with my Bachelors and Juris Doctorate, will help me land a comfy teaching job at a private school.

[Anonymous No.21221483]

>>21220132
But how do you motivate yourself if this is one of the few physical pleasures you enjoy?

[Anonymous No.21221531]

>>21217288
I don't want anything anymore, the only thing I
could ever want is 2 years in the past and there is nothing I can do to retrieve it. I had it but I lost it forever. I'm stuck in the wrong timeline, all I do is watch things come and go and feel myself getting older.
I'm only 22 but people say I look 28. I've aged ten years physically because her absence has caused me immense amounts of stress. There is nothing I can do but write to uncover and expel small bits of my soul, hoping that someday I will separate myself from her influence.

>"We are partners for life, anon"
>5 years of dedicated love pass
>"I'm sorry but I want a break up"

All is left is smithereens of the person I once was, some kind of entity dragging itself through the common hurdles of life just because it has to. No amount of kind words can soothe the pain just like nothing passes through a clogged filter, it simply can't.

Living for family? Family could also be an outside influence for all it takes. I have no one. The only thing my mother cares about is whether we will shower her in money when she gets old. Luckily I have a chronic disease and I'll probably get to die before slaving my colorless life away for anyone, whether it is for the gov or an uncaring family.

[Anonymous No.21221541]

>>21221531
You're 22 bro don't be ridiculous

[Anonymous No.21221550]

>>21221541
That's what I tell myself but it's already over. I've been in this state for two years. I don't want any of this if she's not here.

[Anonymous No.21221610]

>>21221483
Is there nothing else that brings you physical pleasure?

[Anonymous No.21221701]

Do you guys stop to look up definitions of words you don't know? I'm reading blood meridian right now and there have been a few words I have never seen before. I'm not sure if it's worth pausing to look them up when they are obviously outdated and not used anymore. On the other hand, widening my vocabulary would of course be a good thing, but still no one uses these words in the modern era.

[Anonymous No.21221806]

I've forgot to get my SSRI prescription yesterday, and the pharmacy is closed in the weekend. So yesterday and today ive been going through heavy SSRI withdrawal which just turns me into a bipolar emotional wreck. Im filled with anxiety, sadness, anger, but i also cant stop laughing at inane nonsense. Ive made 5 elder scrolls threads on 5 different boards today and i cant stop, i think it's hilarious.

[Anonymous No.21221821]

>>21220870
Some translator's notes are great. I can't think of one with spoilers, but a lot are just kind of mediocre. It's like they got told after they translated the book they needed to explain how they translated the book and then they have to spend like five pages saying "well, Russian has words, and English has words, and sometimes the words translate well and sometimes they don't, and I did my best". But sometimes they go off like "none of these bitches [list of bitches] understand Russian. Here is my point by point numbered list of all these bitches being wrong in Russian and being bitches in general". Sometimes they give useful context to the translation, but the ones they go off on their enemies of translation are my faves.

[Anonymous No.21221826]

>>21220772
>Jeff thinking he's the only girl on the board again

[Anonymous No.21221842]

>>21221461
We'll see if you still feel that way after the honeymoon faze is over and y'all stop having sex frequently. Good luck, anon.

[Anonymous No.21221902]

hi guys

[Anonymous No.21221983]

point 1:
The fact that I no longer derive pleasure from my usual trifles does not mean that I'm depressed. I'm still capable of maintaining long winded discussions. Of leaving bed. Cleaning up. And enjoying a meal.
Yes, I've been sleeping terribly these past few days. That means nothing. I'll know when I start losing the will to leave my bed in the mornings. I'm fine.
point 2:
If I'm fine, why am I stagnating?
I've sabotaged my body into retreating very very far into flight mode. I fled into the wilderness from my duties and responsibilities (and the anxieties they stir), and now I'm wandering in the void. I can't even remember what I need to do. I can't put into words defining my personhood. What's my purpose? What skills do I posess? Am I really a person, or merely flesh, subsisting, surviving.
With no deadline, there seems to be no end to this desert.
point 3:
my mother said that I'll end up in a padded room. She only said it to hurt me, but for the first time (of the many times she'd reiterated that insult) I could almost picture myself in a psych ward. I could acknowledge that that is a possibility. Why? I have no time. I have no time.
point 4:
I didn't lose my wants.
I want to read again. Something new. My prose is suffering. Even my ability to express myself out loud. I've always known what to say, and how to put my turmoils into words, but I seem to have lost that ability.
I no longer have a favorite food, or a favorite color. A favorite character, show or film. I've lost the ability to choose. I can't listen to music anymore. I switch on the radio, that the host may make the choice for me. I hear but I don't listen. All my clothes are ill fitting. And my mother says I have a long face.
People's worry is becoming annoying, when I used to be able to accept it with good natured grace. I was always sensible, but now I irrationally lash out. Their attempts to help seem patronizing (but not disingenuous).

[ἀταραξία No.21221992]

>>21218090
Not prolix enough.

[Anonymous No.21222018]

>>21221902
Good morning ser

[Anonymous No.21222024]

>>21221189
there are some things youre not even supposed to reveal to your life partner
the reality is that she loves you and that is what really matters but you've also got to understand that she on some level wishes that you were way more attractive than you are as you do also
nobody other than god and your parents are ever going to love you unconditionally and a lot of us don't even get that

[Anonymous No.21222106]

>>21221701
Please respond.

[Anonymous No.21222151]

>>21221701
I do but usually forget shortly after due never using them. Weeks or months later the word will pop back into my head but I won't remember what it meant and I'll look it up again. The cycle goes on forever like this.

[Anonymous No.21222152]

>>21221196
>>>/k/

[Anonymous No.21222269]

>>21220982
You have to make your intentions known as early as possible.

[Anonymous No.21222277]

>>21221189
If she enjoys sex with you then she finds you attractive. Its as simple as that. Yes, even ugly people can be attractive.

[Anonymous No.21222286]

>>21222152
That would supply the means, but weapons dont change the mentality, which is what im looking for.

[Anonymous No.21222351]

met a psychologist last monday,

she's fun, lovely and I managed to talk about lit stuff with her without sounding like a snob,

problem, I forgot her name, can't find her on social media, and I have to ask around,

and the only person I can ask is the least low-key person in existence,

[Anonymous No.21222356]

>>21217288
At this very moment moment thousands little girls masturbate in front of internet pervs on omegle, and it's all because of you, you're the reson they became victims of modern culture. When they twerk naked they don't play classic music, no mozart or bach, they play lil uzi nicki minaj songs about money hoes pussy drugs, thats what they get excitement from. What have you personally done to save them? Nothing. All you care about is leaving pretencious comments here trying to portray yourself as a special, intelligent person. you're selfish, arrogant and miserable failure.

[Anonymous No.21222360]

>>21222356
All I wanted was to be a catcher in the rye

[Anonymous No.21222381]

Chocolate meat

[Anonymous No.21222528]

This is probably anecdotal but ive noticed that if i make one mistake at some point, i not only pay for it soon and regret it but it also snowballs into more mistakes throughout the next days. For example yesterday i masturbated 3 times and today i felt so bad i drank 3 beers and hung out with some toxic "friend" and now i feel even worse.

[Anonymous No.21222531]

>>21222528
Yeah and now you gone and made this post and some anon is gonna tell you to kill yourself

[Anonymous No.21222548]

How am i supposed to find a gf if girls only like assholes?
Theres a thesis that girls hate nice guys cause they think theyre cowards and only love assholes who treat them like shit.
Now i dont know whether thats completely true, but if it is, i refuse to be the asshole type, its just not in my nature and i would hate myself and betray myself if i tried to be like that

[Anonymous No.21222553]

>>21222531
????
Ok nigger

[Anonymous No.21222574]

>>21222548
The actual preference is for confidence and security, if you observe the world around you. You don't have to be an asshole. But you you can make retarded whores jump like circus animals if you make them compete against each other, from what I've heard.

[Anonymous No.21222575]

>>21222553
Sorry i thought it was funny, but im not really in a good state of mind at the moment. Im this anon>>21221806 , currently trying to get by without my meds

[Anonymous No.21222592]

I always find it very calming and soothing to read buddhist texts whenever im feeling agitated/anxious/depressed. But when these feeling subside, i always stop reading them.
I feel like a fool

[Anonymous No.21222616]

>>21222592
What's the harm?

[Anonymous No.21222618]

>>21222575
Its okay fren
I try to get by without meds

[Anonymous No.21222621]

>>21222548
Spend some time in the real world. Do you think no one has a girlfriend? Most guys at a certain age are in a relationship and not all of them are assholes.

[Anonymous No.21222627]

>>21222618
I don't, it's just that i fucked up the timing on my prescription. I dont really 'need' the meds, it's just that SSRI withdrawal is fucking horrible

[Anonymous No.21222637]

>>21222621
Yeah those general type advice dont work on me. I finished uni, went to various social groups there, played sports, went out, went to camps, travels, even went abroad for a semester.
Some people are destined for solitude

[Anonymous No.21222640]

>>21222616
its just that i get distracted, and i lack the discipline

[Anonymous No.21222646]

>>21222637
I wasn't giving you advice on how to get a girlfriend. I was rebuking your claim that all girls only like assholes.

[Anonymous No.21222647]

>>21221842
We’ve been together for over five years, past the honeymoon phase, and our sex life is still good, though the frequency is slightly less than in the beginning. We want to have kids after we get married next summer, so that will probably change things, but I’m still committed to staying with her.

I try to think long term. When I’m older, my sex drive will have lessened. What will add pleasure and meaning to my life in a few decades is having a wife and kids who depend on me, and who love me and take care of me. If I left my fiancée to return to my old ways, it would feel good in the moment. But the sexual high would only last for a little while and I would feel worthless and shitty afterwards. It would weigh on my conscience and make me hate myself. I’d be throwing away everything I’ve built for something that wouldn’t make me happy, and when I’m old and sex isn’t so much on my mind anymore I wouldn’t even have my addiction to drive me. I’d be alone and have nothing and no one. I’d probably turn to something else like drugs or alcohol, which I’ve had problems with in the past, and would fuck up my life beyond repair. That thought helps to put things into perspective.

Also, like I said, sex is better with someone who loves you. Plus my fiancée knows about my problems with sex addiction and understands that its important for me to have that outlet, so she makes our sex life a priority.

[Anonymous No.21222648]

>>21217999
its just naming right now but im sure he will 52% eventually and then it will be dead naming.

[Anonymous No.21222675]

>>21222646
>>21222646
Well i do have to admit a lot of guys who are very domesticated, low test, kinda cute, dont mind doing what theyre told to do at uni or at work, dont mind conforming to a girls whims, they often do have a girlfriend. Its kind of an opposite of the asshole.
Those kinda guys are low maintenance and practically npc's
I dont thinkwhat they have is a loving relationships
Assholes are the other extreme, they get sex and many girlfriends. But i dont think they experience true love also
Idk

[Anonymous No.21222683]

>>21222548
To be fair, you sound like an asshole, and you have no gf. It's not assholes who get gfs or else your tone would have you drowning in wife material.
You sound like you would bitch to a minimum wage worker about how the cannister of spray cream running out on the faggy coffee before yours was a conspiracy and probably hassle the last customer who got cream on top.

[Anonymous No.21222684]

I was at a friend's place last night watching the league of legends championship. I know nothing about league so I was rather lost, however it was fun to feed off their energy.
After the game was over a woman showed up who I didn't recognize. She went out to the balcony to share a cigarette with one of my friends in attendance. I was lying back on the sectional, mildly intoxicated, watching the scrawny Korean champions shed rather pitiful tears of joy during their post game interview.
When she came back in she'd lept on the couch next to me, sort of like a cat would, and began speaking to me, saying it had been a long time since we talked.
I felt guilty and feigned knowing who she was, and pieced it together that she was one of the guys girlfriends. We chatted for a bit until one of my friends distracted me and I began talking with him. She then got up and left shortly after.
Anyways, what's left on my mind is the way she lept on to the couch next to me, again, very cat like. I'm not exactly sure why she did this. Perhaps she was drunk? Perhaps she's just a little overly friendly with everyone? I have no true memory of actually speaking to her previously, yet she was acting as if she knew me quite well. The landing of her leap left her initially perched sort of over me, looking down at me with me looking up at her. It felt oddly intimate.

[Anonymous No.21222692]

>>21222683
No, i wouldnt do that...
Dunno what made you think that, but aight

[Anonymous No.21222697]

>>21222675
You sound like a misanthrope so I'm not sure what you would get out of a relationship anyway.

[Anonymous No.21222698]

>>21222692
I subbed in cream for gfs and other customers for their putative asshole bfs. 4chan is the minimum wage worker because I think we deserve a promotion. Enjoy your coffee without cream or sugar.

[Anonymous No.21222720]

>>21222697
Yeah probably. My dads a misanthrope
Idk, my comments were my observances od other people.
There are also types of relationships solely for the social appearances, the ones that are practical but i believe those also arent based on love
Also theres the passionate type, where partners fall in love. But those unfortunately also arent real love cause the partners involved are driven with the feeling of falling in love which is often selfish feeling because they care for the excitement and passion they feel about their partner, and dont care really about the person. Those relationships are often short lived cause any real life event can soon break them with an outburst of negative emotion

[Anonymous No.21222726]

>>21222720
These sound like reasons you don't want the thing you said you want.

[Anonymous No.21222728]

>>21222698
Thanks chief, i never take cream nor sugar anyway. Only little bit of milk but thats a european thing ( i think its similar to what you call cream)

[Anonymous No.21222729]

>>21222726
Thats the thing tho
If i have described correctly what a relationship is with my posts( as you heavily imply) then i dont want it. Its prolly why i never had a gf.
But theres still hope lurking...there might be something real out there..something real

[Anonymous No.21222730]

>>21221483
What helped me was thinking of myself as an addict. Risky sexual behavior prevents me from achieving my goals of having a family and being a functioning and respectable man. It hinders my progress in life like any other addiction would. I had to commit to giving up that pleasurable physical high that I craved because my behaviour was hurting me in other areas of my life.

Being in a relationship motivates me. If I fell off the wagon and relapsed I’d be hurting my fiancée, not just myself, and disrespecting our relationship. Sex in the context of a committed relationship is a good thing, and it’s still a physical pleasure that I greatly enjoy, though within certain limits. Being monogamous isn’t necessarily as gratifying on a purely physical level as some of the things that I used to do, but the emotional satisfaction of being loved is better than any sexual high I’ve ever experienced.

Through therapy I discovered that my compulsive sexual behaviour was a way of filling an emotional void created by loneliness and a way of coping with childhood trauma from abuse. Working through those issues and having a partner who loves me and understands my struggles with sex addiction were the biggest game changers for me.

It’s hard to give you advice when you won’t share the specifics of your perversion. If you just have a high sex drive in general, try to find a girlfriend who is similarly interested in sex and direct it towards her. If you’re addicted to pornography, there are many helpful resources available. If your perversion revolves around a specific taboo fetish that you can’t healthily explore as part of a committed relationship, then seek professional help. If it’s something other than that I would need more details to better advise you.

[Anonymous No.21222821]

>>21222729
>orrectly what a relationship is with my posts( as you heavily imply) t
I'm not implying anything. That's your opinion of relationships. It's not how everyone sees relationships, but you think it is because you can't comprehend that other people have different perspectives to you. I can practically guarantee you that you will search out people who have unhealthy relationship styles if you do pursue a relationship in order to prove yourself right and make yourself feel better about blaming them for your shitty relationship before you even met them. Even if we reached through the internet's and awarded you the perfect waifu, you'd fuck it up by saying something retarded like
>Oh well you must be one of those girls who likes assholes and are incapable of real love and are deceived into thinking passion is love, or else you're here for practical reasons, or doing this for social appearances.
And being the perfect waifu material she would leave your ass before the first date because you have just told her your accepted motivated attitude to dating.

[Anonymous No.21222864]

>>21222720
You don't know what a relationship is like between two people when you're not there. It's a level of intimacy that by definition can only be experienced and understood by the two people participating in it. Your observations mean very little. You sound inexperienced and naive and hopefully it is only because you are still young.

[Anonymous No.21222890]

>>21222821
> I can practically guarantee you that you will search out people who have unhealthy relationship styles if you do pursue a relationship in order to prove yourself right and make yourself feel better about blaming them for your shitty relationship before you even met them
Youre implying a lot here for someone who doesnt imply anything. You cant guarantee that- i do not wish for an unhealthy relationship. Im just wondering whether a healthy one even exist
>Even if we reached through the internet's and awarded you the perfect waifu, you'd fuck it up by saying something retarded
You also cannot know this for certain. Sure, inexperience might be an issue but im willing to try my best with someone who is willing to do the same. I wouldnt enter a relationship with that attitude- i usually dont feel a connection with a girl to pursue her, and when i do i get ghosted or something much worse

[Anonymous No.21222902]

>>21222864
I can see a lot by the way people behave in front of me. I cannot see everything, but i can see a lot.
I see couples who cannot stand themselves. Its something thats apparent immediately.
In which way do i sound naive?
Are you in a happy loving relationship?

[Anonymous No.21222906]

>>21222890
Bro you sound like an underage moron who thinks they've figured out something the adults haven't. I don't care if you want to be alone, it makes no difference to me, but here's a tip for finding a girlfriend: no one - literally not a single person - likes an edgelord, sad boy misanthrope.

[Anonymous No.21222943]

Ate far too many sandwiches each far too large. Now woman bringing over pasta will be mad

[Anonymous No.21222950]

>>21222906
Its not that its something adults dont know, its just that adults get "realistic" and settle for inauthentic hollow life
I dunno, i might lack real world experience since im mostly in my room but i did my fair share of socializing, working, studying hard etc. Figured it just isnt for me
I dunno what people want, sorry. I could never figure it out. Even if i try my best i get left behind

[Anonymous No.21222963]

American Psycho is so lame.

[Anonymous No.21222993]

>>21222963
Whats so lame about it

[Anonymous No.21223014]

Say what you want about 4chan and its low-information content, but a subset of the people here definitely try to understand the world and are genuinely interested in discovering truth. No matter how controversial the thought. I do not know any other platform that still has this drive these days.


I have a great social life and career but I keep coming back to this place, even after a decade. I crave the nuance and shades of grey in discussion. Modern media and peer conversations are deeply lacking and it pains me.

[Anonymous No.21223088]

>>21223014
>I crave the nuance and shades of grey in discussion.
What website you go to?

[Anonymous No.21223152]

>>21222730
Did you struggle with seeing escorts by chance?

I've struggled with pornography addiction and this eventually led to me to meeting with escorts. I currently have been in a relationship for over 4 years and my gf seems to have become completely disinterested in sex. I express love physically and just the other day she straight up told me recently that I touch her too much. I'm happy to step back to make her more comfortable, but she has barely been showing any affection to me and the itch to see an escort is incredibly strong. I've even reached out to a couple. I feel like I'm teetering on the precipice of a bottomless chasm.

The worst part is that talking about with her is not an option because I've already tried. I told her that sex is a fundamental need for me and she said she would try, in yet here we still are. Deep down I know that we've become incompatible, but I know if we break up there is nothing holding me back from seeing escorts all the time. I'm afraid that if I follow that path I will end up completely and utterly alone for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous No.21223197]

>>21223152
Maybe try approaching this from a different angle.
Why do you think sex is a fundamental need for you?

[Anonymous No.21223222]

>>21217288
Why are men unable to form friendships? How do you even form friendships as a man past school/college age if you fell through the cracks and didn't maintain the ones you had since school?

[Anonymous No.21223272]

>>21223197
>Why do you think sex is a fundamental need for you?
Not that anon, but It's a fundamental need for all humans (and other species). Reproduction is hardwired to be our number one priority. There have been studies on the negative effects of celibacy.
>>21223152
If she isn't compatible with your relationship needs, you probably have to break up with her. I would give her one more chance to explain why she suddenly doesn't want to have sex, then break up if it isn't resolved shortly. Also you don't need to get escorts, just fuck some tinder sluts or bar sluts if you absolutely must. Or put your energy in improving yourself while finding a new gf.

[Anonymous No.21223282]

>>21223222
>female author writing about men not able to make friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGuml-tc75A

[Anonymous No.21223293]

This is it this is the end for me. I hate the lot of them. No where safe

[Anonymous No.21223307]

>>21223293
Who do you hate?

[Anonymous No.21223359]

>not having AI generate pictures of characters from the book you are reading

[Anonymous No.21223424]

>>21221983
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.21223439]

>>21217288
what the fuck is the difference between ‘effect’ and ‘affect’ and when is the right time to use either??

[Anonymous No.21223440]

What's the best job for a writer? I'm dropping out of college to have money and some more time to write.

[Anonymous No.21223443]

>>21217288
Where the fuck is my pizza

[Anonymous No.21223452]

>>21223439
i believe ‘effect’ is the noun, ‘affect’ the verb

[Anonymous No.21223455]

>>21223439
'Affect' is done to something, 'effect' is what something does.
The policy affects the economy.
One effect of the new policy is slowed growth.
Sometimes 'effect' is used as a verb, as in "to effect a change."

[Anonymous No.21223457]

>>21223439
Effect is a noun like "special effects"
Affect is a verb eg "how does your mum's dog rape affect our dinner plans"

Affect can be a noun though if you are using it as a synonym for trait eg "she spoke with a strange affect"

[Anonymous No.21223469]

https://youtu.be/s7UAxMwhBpE

[Anonymous No.21223482]

"ehhh right and wrong is gay! Why can't I do whatever I want, whenever I want! Shesh, if you aren't hurting anyone what's the harm in it?"

Shut the fuck up! You can't have everything! That's reality! I'm sorry! Grow up from you fucking stupid ass shitty crackhouse mentality and face the world in the clean manner it is supposed to be. Christ, you and about fucking 90% of people in their teenage years to their 40's think like this.

[Anonymous No.21223495]

I will live completely alone working shitty jobs until I die. If anyone discovers my secret I'll kill myself. That's all.

[Anonymous No.21223505]

>>21223495
probably my life in 5-10 years

[Anonymous No.21223508]

>>21217288
---- Solaria 398 ----
(Shakespeare)

Tonight I parked as usual in a scene so familiar in its quiet
From the sense of emergency

That I noticed a happy chance, that on the remotest perspective from it
One couldn't quite tell, without a full minute's pause

Whether that was Mars rising or a jet's headlights redended by atmosphere
A full night's drive away

That tipped one of the trees outlined on horizon by

Light artificial yet attenuated to the limit of sense here,
Hugely amplified as it is by customary peace, decorum, language

Rare in freedom from cramped contingencies
As usual exurban paradise.

II

As for frolic architecture
Or mathematician snow or homunuculi

Dissolving into ecstasy waves
Before their time amid the archives

Of such rooms as these, they're second best
Yet still wonders of possible worlds--

Almost sensational as one used to gardening for effects
Like the look of marigolds as a contrast to the lucid green of tempered glass--

Perfumes of place and person,
A sense for character silent and beautiful beyond

Belief, relentlessly kind.

[Anonymous No.21223520]

>>21217288
In the pitch black night
On some hidden board
Anons gather out of sight
Wielding their pens as a sword

Hurling incantations of memes
In a world that's merely virtual
Their hateful, angry, racist screams
Complete the final ritual

And the plural of solitude is friendship
Now they banter with the lads
Out from cynicism they strip
Strangers become comrades

[Anonymous No.21223524]

>>21223495
Wtf is your secret?

[Anonymous No.21223528]

>>21223524
I have yellow fever

[Anonymous No.21223578]

>Read something that fills my soul with profound feelings of love and appreciation and grace
>come back to 4chan (and social media in general) and its all just a nonstop stream of people lashing out in pain and anguish from every direction manifested in such ugliness and despair and anger
I wish I could hug each and every one of you and hold you in my arms and weep for sorrow and joy and hope for something better

[Anonymous No.21223581]

>>21223495
ktim with a diaper fetish

[Anonymous No.21223596]

zlib got taken down by fucking Colleen Hoover fans. One of the largest public repositories for every kind of book under the sun all in one location for free and you mean to tell me it got blasted (probably not forever but still) because someone on tik tok made a video about the most mediocre genre and it blew up on the site. So now people who can't afford books are fucked unless they get tor (regardless of whether or not they should have it) and college students who now gotta fucking scramble or pay out of pocket for books and textbooks that they have to pay out the ass for. Because someone couldn't keep their mouth shut about a website. I see why people become radicals as stupid as those positions may be

[Anonymous No.21223628]

I've felt that I didn't deserve to be happy for my whole life. I don't know why. In one of my earliest memories I deliberately tried to push someone away because I didn't want to allow myself to have friends. I was eight years old at the time.
I have purposefully sabotaged my own life so as to both prevent myself from succeeding in any way and so as to inflict some sort of punishment on myself. My guiding principle is to avoid burdening or hurting others in amy way due to my actions, and since that principle is based on the belief that I don't deserve to be happy and thus that there's something seriously wrong with me, I avoid being around people and forming relationships of any kind unless strictly necessary.
I won't kill myself, but I would be very relieved to discover that I had a brain tumor or similar condition, as it would mean it would all be over soon and I could finally rest.

[Anonymous No.21223641]

>>21217288
I love coffee but it puts me into a weird mood. Whenever I drink it fir the rest of the day I feel slightly disgusting or like there's something unfinished that I'm missing or have forgot.
My mood tanks the rest of the day & then Ill often have trouble sleeping, but that glorious 1-3 hours are amazing when i have it in the morning.

[Anonymous No.21223642]

>>21217288
>>>21217288 (OP)
---- Solaria 399 ----
(Montaigne)

Doubtless his voice in immediate person was incomparably pleasing,
Delightful, astonishing, ordinary as his look

Was, or at least he avowed it.

There's nothing like such magicians
Whose impulse is so against deception that

Nature itself is oblivious to why any man is like that,
As feral cats are to aesthetes.

[Anonymous No.21223660]

You'll find someone when you stop looking

[Anonymous No.21223677]

>>21223641
>I feel slightly disgusting or like there's something unfinished that I'm missing or have forgot
Most psychoactive chemicals have "lows" that come after "highs", an this is just that, caffeine's "low", in a form of a very slight neurosis.
You can try decreasing your coffee intake, your "highs" won't be that high, but you might stop getting "lows" altogether.

>>21223578
>Read something that fills my soul with profound feelings of love and appreciation and grace
Mind sharing what it was? People here don't read, of course, but they definitely could use some of that, me included.

[Anonymous No.21223698]

>>21217288
---- Solaria 400 ----
(Emerson)

Much as I wish so sweet a nature
Circumstances so central that the room in which

One sleeps looks and feels exactly the same in all seasons,
I also wish that I could take him

To where brown manitises sing, wires fly between towers hardly anyone notices.

[Anonymous No.21223709]

>>21223677
War and Peace

[Anonymous No.21223728]

>>21223677
Im very sensitive to caffeine. I usually only have 1-2 cups which is enough to put me in a very different state for the rest of the day.
The lows with coffee are weird for me. It extends for about a day. Often I don't sleep. And it's usually a mix of horny, focused, irritablity, & insomnia.
Like I become an entirely different person.

[Anonymous No.21223759]

>>21217288
Reading The Stranger is a weird comfort to me. I relate to Mersaults simple ass thought process very much and I have done a lot of things in my life "because I didn't have any reason not to." Wouldn't help an abusive french dudes torment his mistress but on a less serious scale I am coasting through interpersonal relationships and my career. Not on a sociopathic level or some shit I'm not a 15 year old edgy larper, but I don't think I have ever formed a connection out of a feeling that I strongly desired it. Shit happens and I don't particularly dislike it so why not go with it. And I have no idea if this is a good thing or not but does it really matter? Even if it's a fictional character I like knowing there is someone similar to me. Plus I know there's a bunch of other losers just like me who would say the same shit.

Anyway that's all I got. Just some mentally ill potentially autistic rambling. Hope it doesn't sound edgy really just jotting my brain down.

[Anonymous No.21223763]

Depression is really killing me and I don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous No.21223805]

>>21223759
I kind of understand the feeling, though I also am aware how cringy it sounds and feels to admit it.
I have an embarrasing memory related to The Stranger. For a class a couple years ago we had to do an introduction post, and one of the questions asked what fictional character we relate to most.
I said that I didn't necessarily relate to but liked The Stranger and Pierre from Invitation to a Beheading.
......... Goddamn I was cringy.

[Anonymous No.21223807]

>>21223763
Cheer up it's not so bad

[Anonymous No.21223826]

>>21223807
I don’t know how it can honestly get worse. Just took a benzo. Hopefully I can sleep.

[Anonymous No.21223848]

>>21223826
>Just took a benzo.
surely that will help you in the long run

[Anonymous No.21223853]

Just ate a bunch of olives and cheese

[Anonymous No.21223870]

>>21217288
---- Solaria 401 ----
(Goethe)

Outrageous dreamer,
You haven't the will to prohibit
Any image however felt, superlative of irony.

Yet I wish I could show you feelingly, Sirius in a huge lens,
Music archives beyond the dreams of avarice,
Everything idiots neglect

Yet survives as if for us alone.

[Anonymous No.21223878]

>>21221189
It's pretty common, desu. Disgust and attraction have more cross-over than most are willing to admit. It's much more likely though if the ugly guy has some other female-attracting quality, e.g. he's rich/powerful/arrogant etc.

[Anonymous No.21223882]

I am cringe, but I am free.

[Anonymous No.21223917]

>>21223014
Well said. One has to sift through shit to find the gems, but at least the possibility of finding them remains. With enough discretion (i.e. not wasting time on bait and retards) one needn't even waste that much time.

[Anonymous No.21223961]

I wonder if killing someone would remind me of a bad acid trip.

I keep thinking about this and I realize it sounds schizo as shit but one of the only times in my life I have felt all emotions all at once at 100% intensity was during a bad trip. I keep trying to visualize very serious fucked up things happening and I find it impossible to even barely grasp what it would feel like. But when I apply the primal fear, panic, and thought that "this can't be real" from my trip it becomes a little easier to comprehend what it would feel like to do something of that level.

Not that I plan on killing anyone, Feds.

[Anonymous No.21223967]

>>21223961
Forgot to say why I'm thinking about this shit in the first place. I'm still a bit fucked from the trip and sometimes I see things that set off that otherwordly anxiety but it's very easy to rationalize and make go away. So it got me thinking: what could, if anything, set me off so bad that I enter that psychosis without drugs?

[Anonymous No.21223974]

>>21223709
Thank you.

[Anonymous No.21223993]

>>21221173
>you should look for happiness from within rather than from outsiders.
Feel good bullshit and the male equivalent of "Live, Laugh, Love". That's simply not how human beings were meant to function.

>men my age (late teens/early twenties)
Maybe, I'm being too harsh because you're clearly too young to understand. There is a world outside of you and it's one you have to engage with. Don't retreat into introspection. It's complete nonsense.

[Anonymous No.21224312]

lets roll

[Anonymous No.21224340]

>>21223848
nta. it does. But the long run is relative. It also depends on what you mean by "help". Life on benzos is a hazy, tasteless existence. Somewhat preferrable to the anguish of mental illness, but only by virtue of substituting pain with nothingness. The chances of relapse are great, however. Either you subsist as an unfeeling zombie or you kill yourself. No in-between.

[Anonymous No.21224391]

I'm having one of those nights where everything feels wrong.
I feel completely empty and alone.
Is this the human condition in its purest form?
I don't know. I feel as though I have something to say, but I don't. I'm just tired and feel like shit.

[Anonymous No.21224398]

>>21224391
It'll pass anon. When I'm in those moods it's almost like you're on a bad trip. But you gotta remember the trip ends. That doesn't make it not real, but it doesn't make it any more pure than when you're happy. Both are real.

[Anonymous No.21224431]

Why do these twitter whores act so haughty over their "HUGE JACKED BODS" in spite of the fact they're 5'6 and have bodies like teenage boys and why is their whole shtick demoralizing cuck femdom pegging shit?

[Anonymous No.21224453]

I am becoming a fucking commie once again, this time without reading any books, just observing the financial sufferings of the citizens of this turd world shithole. I know it's a lofty dream and humans are fucked and done and life is suffering but I can't help it.

I need to stop behaving like a fucking woman with this empathy bullshite. But I can't help it(another womanly trait).

[Anonymous No.21224472]

I met this qt girl a week ago in a group of my uni, she's based and redpilled and want to meet me asap. I sent her one pic of me so she knows how I am. I dont know what to do: stopping from answering her for a while or meet her. Its because I'm pretty autistic, its almost a year that I dont have a long conversation with someone just alone, cuz lectures were online, and I started lifting just two months ago. I dont want to ruin everything, I dont want a girl just to have fun with her .Maybe I should stop answering and search her after some months, after I would have becomed a better man. What should I do /lit/ frens?

[Anonymous No.21224487]

>>21224472
I never cared about girls, all I wanted until know is reaching my life-goal, whatever it tooks. It's still the most importnat thing, but wouldn't having company on my path make it more endurable?

[Anonymous No.21224546]

>>21224472
Only text her to meet up or organise something. Don't waste your convo material via text

[Anonymous No.21224576]

>>21224472
>she's based and redpilled
Grow up you niggerfied MAGA child.

[Anonymous No.21225019]

I’m not happy with the man I am, at work least of all.

[Anonymous No.21225035]

I am literally Suttree but I cannot fish or get pussy and I do not have a family inheritance to neglect.

[Anonymous No.21225507]

Why are there two threads up

[Anonymous No.21225563]

>>21224472
Learn English
Be honest
Brace yourself for rejection or “friend-zoning”
Don’t take the friend zone hard if that’s where she puts you.
Remember that /pol/ is always wrong, but the MSM is still as much liars

[Anonymous No.21225593]

>>21217308

[Anonymous No.21225723]

black company is shit made for pigeon brained tards amused by a dripping tap

[Anonymous No.21226156]

>>21225723
Okay

[Anonymous No.21226268]

>>21224453
you dont need to lose the empathy, you need to acknowledge that change can happen and life can get better without retarded self deating utopian nonsense

[Anonymous No.21226306]

To get a gf first you need to gain a girl's trust. Find a girl and talk to her (not flirting) over a few days, then hang out with her at specific locations, give her gifts (especially clothing items that she can wear and tell her she looks cute), ask her to do favors for you (its important that she does things for you that you're not exclusively doing things for her), then awhile later you can test her trust by having her do things that she wouldn't do with most people like borrowing items or going into the wildy. Once she trusts you enough you can add flirting (keep doing all the previous things as well), and after awhile you can ask her to be your gf.

[Anonymous No.21226327]

>>21226306
>To get a gf first you need to gain a girl's trust
I'm stuck on step 1 then.

[Anonymous No.21226358]

>>21226327
I explained how to gain her trust in the next sentence. You have to talk to the girl normally, also light touching is good if you can find an opening, just don't molest her whatever you do.

[Anonymous No.21226364]

cant stop thinking about sex to the point its boring. sex sex sex, burned into my mind .every girl i see i want to mouthfuck. god damn it

[Anonymous No.21226458]

>>21226364

[Anonymous No.21226666]

Lately with every deja vu that I'm having, I'm also returning to a memory of a particular dream. In it, I step outside of my house on a sunny morning and see a nuclear mushroom rising above the neighboring building. A distant low roar approaches rapidly, and moments later I'm swallowed by complete darkness.
Wonder what's this all about, ha ha.

[Anonymous No.21226690]

>>21226666
checked

[Anonymous No.21226692]

>>21218728
he just copied hegel
>>21220495
sympathy (you)
>>21220831
hate when it happens
>>21221902
hi
>>21222356
you cant save them. save yourself

[Anonymous No.21226859]

What elements of a person's way of writing makes you suspect that the author is a woman (if you don't already know the sex of the author)? I'm not talking about the content (the topic or the rhetoric), but moreso the shape and form.

[Anonymous No.21226884]

>>21226859
Hypercorrection in grammar

[Anonymous No.21227001]

>>21217288
Read it in his voice kek

[Anonymous No.21227008]

I discovered that when I'm ovulating, two or three hours of vigorous exercise can supplement actual sexual contact or masturbation, and makes me feel normal, even great, for two or three hours beyond the act. Whereas masturbation gives me at best thirty minutes of relief.

God should have built something different but instead he built people like me.

[Anonymous No.21227024]

I wanna write a dieselpunk novel but have no idea where to start

[Anonymous No.21227040]

>>21227008
ywnbaw

[Anonymous No.21227138]

this one fucking girl keeps giving extremely mixed messages and playing mind games for a month, also she keeps messeging me every day since we met. why are women like this? or maybe im just retarded? im just so fucking at this point, i fucking hate this shit. maybe being single for over 2 years now messed up my emotions or something, i dont fucking know

[Anonymous No.21227145]

>>21221806
I think thats pretty funny

[Anonymous No.21227161]

>>21221806
Before I was in bipolar medication during hypomanic episodes I used to make really annoying shitposts and a lot of the time people took the bait. It made me wonder how many of the insane threads you see on here are just people shitposting while manic and how many people think they're responding to a serious, sober person and getting frustrated lol

[Anonymous No.21227169]

I wish Ancient Greek had become the global Lingua Franca but at the same time I hope that English doesn't stop being the global Lingua Franca

[Anonymous No.21227218]

>>21217288
Been seeing some girl and she is very homophobic and transphobic and somewhat racist

Like don't get me wrong, im not a fan of the LGBT stuff especially the tranny gaslighting and can comment my disdain for them.....but she kind of goes in very hard on it that it's surprising. She goes on the same rant about Asian girls too even though I'm asian

[Anonymous No.21227449]

new thread
>>21227446

[Anonymous No.21227459]

BUCOCK!!

>>21227457
>>21227457
>>21227457

[Anonymous No.21227472]

:o

[Anonymous No.21227780]

>>21227218
Lucky bastard