/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.20972101]

>A girl gets violently raped by her dad in every hole.
>Wanders through the woods with her dog and inexplicably becomes a moon goddess.
>Marries Hoss from Bonanza.
>Becomes fire and kills her papa.

[Anonymous No.20972116]

Is there a point to this thread?

[Anonymous No.20972121]

>>20972116
Just the typical god-awful summarization via green text. Zoomies understand the world through bullet points.

[Anonymous No.20972126]

>A French knight finds a peasant girl raised by a witch who can turn invisible when she doesn't move.
>They fall instantly in love in spite of (or because of) her being like 14, he plays with her titty and fingers her a bit.
>Something something phoenix egg, something something they get separated.
>Both embark on erotic adventures.
>He fucks a whore.
>She gets abducted by an incestuous couple in an airship who model themselves after Eros and some death figure, and Eros drugs her and almost maybe date rapes her sorta. He's stopped before he gets it in.
>Knight fucks another hooker.
>Second hooker then meets the girl and they lez out and scissor one another.
>The two are reunited, finally fuck and then find out they both fucked the same whore.
>The entire story would be improved if they just cut out everything in the middle and went straight to them fucking and completing their quest, now all the anticipation's gone.
>Blah blah blah the egg hatches, she rides the bird and becomes queen of whatever because fantasy, the end.

[Anonymous No.20972135]

>>20972116
I thought it would be amusing -if only to me- to greentext summaries of a few one-off novels I read.

While I was in prison.

[Anonymous No.20972157]

>>20972126
More fantasy book green texts pls

[Anonymous No.20972211]

>>20972157

>It's literally Lord of the Rings.
>Seriously, how did this woman not get sued? A few words are different and the perspective is changed but it's literally just Lord of the Rings.
>Okay so not-Sauron is a once beautiful God who was horribly burned and so has black skin and his dick was cut off so every time he enters a scene we get nauseating text about the "ichor" oozing eternally from his gaping wound.
>He controls an army of uruk-I mean Trolls.
>They're allied with uh, basically werewolves. They were called something else, but they're just werewolves. Whatever.
>Not Sauron has a first in command who's basically this heroic knight who used to be a good guy, but he got cucked, killed his wife, the dude she cheated with and I *think* strangled the baby but it's been a while I forget, so he fled to the bad guy's castle and pledged loyalty to him. This is the main character.
>They kidnap a princess to prevent her marrying some human prince and uniting their kingdoms and it's immediately obvious she's gonna fall in love with the dark knight and question whether or not her side are really the good guys.
>Other guy working for the 'villain' is half human half elf, he has psychic powers and is basically Loki but his body is deformed. He was the result of rape and people hated half breeds so he was beaten until he became a cripple.
>Not Gandalf leads Not Aragorn and the armies of Man and Not- oh wait no, they're just Elves to wipe out the evil. The werewolves don't want to fight and beg to be allowed to surrender, the good guy tells them they won't kill them if they agree to stop reproducing which is replied to simply with "...No More Pups?"
>Bad guy's castle is surrounded by crazies because he cares for damaged people or something.
>I think the half-elf could see through crows eyes or something. Anyway, the one vaguely unique element is a tribe of desert dwelling pot-bellied Africans/Aborigines are questing towards the castle with a vial of some sort of holy water (instead of a ring) with the intent to use the water to quench the magic lava keeping the villain and his castle alive.
>The "good" guys win, it's all very tragic.
>Half-elf is the only one who escapes, he travels to the valley where his god's dick was cut off, and it's revealed to have magical sex related powers and make whoever's there super horny.
>Book ends with him meeting an exceptionally horny dragon. For real.
>Fucking women I swear to god.

[Anonymous No.20972258]

>>20972116
It's about how the psyches of woman writers revolve around a constellation of sex, rape, sex with monsters, cuckoldry, sex magic, love triangles, sex fetishes, and sex rape sex.

[Anonymous No.20972269]

>The cover looks like it's trying to ape manga, but whatever.
>Oh, a lot of pictures in this, that's weird.
>19th century explorers who are twin brothers and bare impressive handlebar mustaches are separated and search for eachother in "the dungeon" which is a series of different worlds and times, each filled with kooky characters.
>Each party is lead by one of the twin explorers, or one of their many descendants.
>These include sentient holograms from a future time based on musicians from the 50's and earlier, an ancient dwarven creature with sort of a face like a bulldog from a time in the distant past, a sentient, psychic humanoid female spider, and I feel like there was a robot and some assassin/samurai/ninja types but I don't remember as clearly.
>setting is a world that may be inside a hollowed out asteroid run by three warring factions of advanced aliens who want descendants of this bloodline to help them win the war.
>It's bizarrely revealed near the end that their blood is needed to power various doomsday weapons, in this case an indestructible crystalline dog which will be powered indefinitely if all of the blood from an actual descendent of this bloodline is poured into it. The person will die, but they're told they'll be cloned if they agree to the process, though they concede the clone's blood wouldn't work to power the device.
>The various groups go on bizarre adventures including one scene where they fight giant versions of tweedle dee and tweedle dumb.
>Also for some reason one of the twins gets shrunk ant-man style at some point.

[Anonymous No.20972270]

>>20972269
Whoops, wrong cover.

[Anonymous No.20973537]

>>20972211
The writing is much better than LOTR

[Anonymous No.20973542]

>>20973537
example?

[Anonymous No.20973553]

>>20972101
>inexplicably becomes a moon goddess.
that's how about 89% of all gods become gods, you know. learn a little mythology.

[Anonymous No.20973565]

>Freind dies and character acts like a whore.
>Everyone wants to fuck her.
>Try to solve mystery of friends murder.
>Gets paired with uber handsome lightning angel slave.
>Man that hired them to find murder was the murderer.
>She gets super strong magic powers and kills murderer with magic gun.
>Dates now freed lightning angel.
She is also daughter to a king and a chosen one. She is half human half fae so she counts as oppressed. Pretty wacky how people eat this up. Read it with coworkers as a book club. Now we are reading Butchers Crossing.

[Anonymous No.20973651]

>>20972101
>A girl gets violently raped by her dad in every hole.
I-is it described in detail?

[Anonymous No.20973660]

Looks like I need to start reading chick lit. She wouldn't by chance by underage as well, would she?

[Anonymous No.20973662]

>>20972258
Its almost as if they're detriment to themselves and those around them

[Anonymous No.20973689]

>>20973651
No, he bursts into her bedroom, flings her dog against a wall, rips off her clothes and enters her. We know it was in every hole because there's a couple lines later like "her entire body hurt" "no place was left unviolated" "liquid was dripping from between her legs, her mouth and all over her chest". It's not touched on again until the end of the book.

[Anonymous No.20973727]

>>20973660
In the first story? It's been a while but she was in her teens. I don't remember if she was 15 or 16, but she was a teenager and he rapes her on her birthday. She looked like her mother who dies in the prologue of the book. When she comes of age and there's talk of marrying her off, her father announces he's going to marry her himself. Then when the time comes in he just bursts in wearing his full suit of armor, yeets her dog and then fucks the shit out of her.

She escapes into the woods and the middle portion of the book is basically a survivalist story. She finds other hounds and a pack follows her around, her hair becomes silver because she gains the favor of this moon goddess somehow and over time becomes her avatar. She starts finding missing children and such.

Then she wanders into a neighboring kingdom run by this nice guy who is described basically as "sweet, kind and competent but not handsome, large but gentle." who loves dogs. Turns out the dog that's been her best and only friend for most of her life was a gift he chose as his royal gift when she was a little girl, "the finest pup in my best bitches litter." He spends much of his time raising dogs and gets his hands dirty so she grows to trust him. Her dad shows up wanting to marry this guy's younger sister because I guess daddy just loves that young bush now or whatever. She shows up to stop the wedding and make everyone aware of his crime.

[Anonymous No.20973753]

>>20973727
Damn that first part's hot. Does she fuck one of his dogs?

[Anonymous No.20973768]

>>20973753
c'mon man, I don't want to jerk off right now...

[Anonymous No.20973831]

>>20972126
Wtf is wrong with the french.

[Anonymous No.20973844]

>>20972258
woah... they're just like me!

[Anonymous No.20974046]

>>20973542
Exactly the kind of thing a prosefag would ask

[Anonymous No.20974213]

I like reading chicklit written by older women because the books they write are always horny as fuck and ussually have older Woman/younger man pairings.

[Anonymous No.20974310]

>>20974213
Those are all the reasons I don't like them.

[Anonymous No.20974325]

>>20974310
you have to have exactly 100 iq points to save this image and then to post it

[Anonymous No.20974351]

>>20974310
Hate on her all you want, she's laughing her way to the bank.

[Anonymous No.20974398]

>>20974325
>you have to have exactly 100 iq points
this is an absolutely devastating insult.

[Anonymous No.20974481]

>>20974325
I got it from here, so take that as you will.

[Anonymous No.20974555]

>>20974351
This. Of course, most of the faggots on this board will respond that money doesn't matter. The implication being that the could do what SM did, but they choose not to due to their artistic integrity.

[Anonymous No.20974582]

>>20974351
You know, you can make fun of someone without hating them. Her writing is pretty terrible, but I don't mind her as a person.

She's not really laughing to the bank anymore though. Women are a very temporary audience. Things they love one year they'll hate the next.

[Anonymous No.20974616]

>>20974582
>She's not really laughing to the bank anymore though.
Her net worth is estimated at 125 million dollars. I think she's good.

[Anonymous No.20974894]

>>20974310
Sexually frustrated older women are god's gift to mankind

[Anonymous No.20975028]

>>20974894
how do i acquire one?

[Anonymous No.20975126]

>>20975028
Bumble app
or flirt with old librarians on goodreads

[Anonymous No.20975165]

>>20972101
woah... they're just like me!