Books on how to make small talk?

[Anonymous No.20935614]

I’m really fucking autistic.

[Anonymous No.20935651]

>>20935614
there's a bunch of those on Amazon, don't know how good they are.

Also, why bother with small talk, when you can talk about something cool or fun?

[Anonymous No.20935657]

>>20935614
You're never going to make good small talk if you're conscious of it.

[Anonymous No.20935663]

Also, do that "yep" stuff, like they do in King of the Hill", hicks are all into that shit.

[Anonymous No.20935671]

>>20935614
>I'm really fucking autistic.
Do not even make an attempt to make small talk. It will be forced, considering your 'tism will still bleed through. Trust me on this. Do NOT try. Just BEE yourself. Unironically.
t. fellow autist who tried to fix my small talk issues

[Anonymous No.20935674]

I hate autistic people and would behave maliciously toward them if I could. You shouldn't socialize at all. Stay in your lane and don't speak to normal people. I felt bad for an autismo and guess what? I now will need to pay the price professionally over something he did for a fraction of a second. I hope every autism and aspbergers retard commits suicide.

[Anonymous No.20935678]

>>20935671
This anon is right.
>>20935614
It is fine to be autistic, anon. I'm (probably) not normal either, and just treat people as you would treat other anons.

[Anonymous No.20935685]

>>20935678
And that it is ok to not be talking about anything around someone. Silence is ok too.

[Anonymous No.20935686]

>>20935614
Me too, but when I was a teen I watched every Zizek lecture on YT so now I can impersonate him very reliably IRL, which almost always gets people entertained

[Anonymous No.20935724]

>>20935614
unfiltered honesty

[Anonymous No.20936224]

>>20935614
Good luck bros https://www.clinical-partners.co.uk/for-adults/autism-and-aspergers/adult-autism-test/

[Anonymous No.20936325]

>>20936224
Now what? I will get my meds, some meager gibs and be zombified?

[Anonymous No.20936414]

>>20935686
>I watched every Zizek lecture on YT so now I can impersonate him very reliably IRL,

>>20936325
>Now what? I will get my meds, some meager gibs and be zombified?

"Now what? I will get my meds, some meager gibs and be zombified?"

>>20935724
"unfiltered honesty"

>>20936224
>Good luck bros

"good luck brothershhtlhl"


>>20935614
you either have real life in common an know each other and have situational discourse, or you don't.

I'm not sure why women tolerate the mindlessly bleating and dead eyed or enthusiastic smiles and laughs from men who don't, i imagine the ego-kick would get old fast.


"motherfucker, i'm funny and smart, but i'm not funny and smart all the time."

[Anonymous No.20936418]

>>20935674
you know this means you might be autistic right

[Anonymous No.20936427]

>>20936418
poor social skills of every instance is autism, by definition.

[Anonymous No.20936439]

>>20936414
>you either have real life in common an know each other and have situational discourse, or you don't.
Anon, everyone has things in common, they are people and some things happens with everyone. Consider someone somewhat old on their 50s, they definitely know how it is to lose someone close to them, or a kid, you can definitely talk about their toys or games or anything. And consider that most people have been through school or whatever, read those dudes who write https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cr%C3%B4nica
It is basically a way of talking about something that they imagine that happens with most people in a fun tone. Somewhat like "stand up comedy", but in written form.

[Anonymous No.20936491]

>>20936439
I mean, situational things; like, you work together or have friends in common so that you have real things to talk about. I don't mean the whole 'common interests' like you like the same guitar ditty or guitar twanger. Those are very boring.

e.g.
>you can definitely talk about their toys or games or anything.
yeah you can talk to them as if they were a baby, if you like.

[Anonymous No.20936514]

>>20936491
Not as if they were a baby. You can talk about family, most people have one. It is not that hard. Then after you get to know then it is easy.

[Anonymous No.20936528]

>>20936514
idk, you don't conquer the enemy city by going before its walls, kneeling and humoring its local peculiarities.

i mean: taking this approach 'to' lower yourself to an inferior level is not an attractive trait.

[Anonymous No.20936532]

>>20936528
just be charming and talk about whatever you like

[Anonymous No.20936536]

>>20935674
I'm autistic and bully other autists, the only way to cure it is to become antifragil.

[Anonymous No.20936543]

>>20936536
corrective rape is just an excuse to rape other junkies in the jail, anon.

>>20936532
and take away the air of mystery and decisiveness? fuck thaaaaaaat

[Anonymous No.20936611]

>>20936528
>small talk
It is not BIG serious talk. It is SMALL TALK.

[Anonymous No.20936637]

>>20936611
ladies talk, i.e.

Not a thing Men do.

[Anonymous No.20936641]

>>20935678
Yeah, just call them faggots and suggest immediate suicide in the event of a minor dispute

[Anonymous No.20936661]

>>20936611
ladies talk, i.e.

Not a thing Men do. I mean: doing this, "wow, look at your shirt" is a thing women do which women understand is a ladies game, not a game for Men.

Small Talk.

that's where OP is going wrong on this whole topic.

[Anonymous No.20936722]

>>20935614
All of the self-help books in this area add layer upon layer of bullshit on what is essentially empathy and curiosity.

>>20935724
>unfiltered honesty
Wrong, learning to keep your mouth shut and filter what you say is critical in normie wrangling.

[Anonymous No.20937257]

>not a single book recommended
Maybe if you guys tried anything to improve your social interactions you wouldn't be stuck here having retarded arguments about things of which you're transparently ignorant.

[Anonymous No.20938284]

I don't know that books can help. As a student, I worked in a service job and as an adult in sales. That made it easier. For me, I find it's easier if I just don't try so hard.

[Anonymous No.20938289]

>>20935614
It's all about energy. Speak with your vibe, not with words. The words will flow naturally if your energy is right. You won't even have to think about it. It's a mindset.

[Anonymous No.20938333]

>>20935614
You're not autistic, and books won't solve your problem.

You have to make yourself vulnerable frequently. You have to go through ritual humiliation frequently. You're "autistic" (poor at living in the moment) because you've stayed cooped up in your ego's shell for too long. This is a growing problem in modern society for various reasons.

Being vulnerable / letting yourself be humiliated is the first step in experiencing ego death, which is necessary for evolving the ego. People who are good at communicating with others in the present moment have undergone various ego deaths already. That's why they're so comfortable around others and find it easy to start up and run with that social momentum. You're not good at this because you haven't let your ego die enough times yet, so it's immature and fragile, and always preoccupied with its own safety.

[Anonymous No.20938358]

How to Talk to Anyone - Leil Lowndes
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

Enjoy, you should be able to make passable small talk with 3 months of study and practice. Worked for me.

[Anonymous No.20938372]

>tfw I have social experience and am actually pretty good at small talk, but I still fold like a cheap suit the moment people ask about me and how ive been doing and stuff because ive been a NEET for the better part of a decade now

[Anonymous No.20938479]

>>20938358
>How to Talk to Anyone
This is a shit book that can be summed up as:
>if you are a pretty girl like me you can just say anything and men will listen and like you!

This is definitely a case where you should not read a book written by a woman.

[Anonymous No.20938503]

>>20938333

>just let yourself become a punching bag dude lmao

fuck off with this disgusting beta slave morality. Chad never has to put up with this shit. I do understand what you're getting at, but what you're choosing to ignore is that many who post here are real failures, for whom the "ego death" which you propose as a minor growth event is potentially catastrophic. Certain failures don't have a reserve of backup self-esteem to rely upon to stave off literal death if a certain ego death occurs.

[Anonymous No.20938505]

>>20938479
No, I found it was good at explaining the nitty gritty mechanics of preparing for small talk and avoiding giving offense. At the VERY least it's worth skimming. It's exactly what OP needs. You may just find it boring and repetitive because you instinctively understand it all already, dumb normalfag.

[Anonymous No.20938509]

I struggle at small talk because I have nothing going on in my life to tell people about.

[Anonymous No.20938538]

>Conversation by Mary Greer Conklin
Old book
>How to Start and Make a Conversation by Chris Gottschalk
This guy writes about human interaction a robot so it might be good for an autist
>Better Small Talk by Patrick King
This guy has at least half a dozen books related to the topic of social interaction, I don't know if he's a product of manosphere/PUA but he kind of has that vibe.,
>How to Make Small Talk by Melissa Wadsworth
>The Art of Conversation by Catherine Blyth
>The Serious Business of Small Talk by Carol Fleming

This shit took me a few minutes to find my searching for the words "conversation" on the library website and there's probably 10x this much material if you dig. If you faggots don't read them and improve yourself after this spoonfeeding you deserve to die.

[Anonymous No.20938547]

what do you even talk about while small talking? when i hear others talk amongst themselves it's always about their kids, partners, shit they did this weekend, their plans and so on. i have none of that.

[Anonymous No.20938625]

>>20938372
Come up with some generic but slightly interesting (but unfalsifiable) response in your down time and just use that every single time, even if someone you're with will catch onto it. Maybe try to come up with slight variations so you can use it with the same person more than once. I'm too lazy to do it, but I've always thought this would be a good idea. Currently I just resort to "studying" even though I am not at university, sometimes it leads into further questions about what I'm studying. I've moved onto just outright stating "meditation", which is what I do a lot of anyway. Some people cannot believe you can be happy taking everything slowly and calmly though.

[Anonymous No.20938674]

Autism is caused by a demonic possession, it is sapping your energy and turning you away from other people (since they're made in the image of God) If you can't find an exorcist try the eucharist every Sunday.

[Anonymous No.20938701]

>>20938372
Ask me what I'm "upto this weekend" and watch how I recoil.

[Anonymous No.20938707]

I once knew someone who did this kinda forced interaction thing he obviously picked up from a book or a youtube video and he was the creepiest faggot i ever damn met. he'd do those larpy hand-crushing handshakes and stare you fixedly in the eye the entire time you spoke, and not in an obnoxiously confident asshole kinda way, but like he was very hyper conscious of what he was doing and it was very uncomfortable, he used to carry around a little notebook and pen and scribble notes while talking to you and then he'd pull it out next time he saw you to refresh himself on what to say... "Oh hey anon... *crushes your hand* *stares at you* sooo... have you *checks notes* read any good books lately?"

[Anonymous No.20938711]

>>20938372
There's tons of neets in my town. It's not really a big deal anymore and there's nothing wrong with it if you tried your best. You might get some shit for it but those people are simply looking for a scapegoat to hate.

[Anonymous No.20938712]

I vividly remember the time a coworker of several years suddenly looked at me and said "Anon, we've been working together for years and chat every day, but I know nothing about you". Paraphrasing here.

[Anonymous No.20938727]

>>20938711
>if you tried your best

[Anonymous No.20938773]

>>20935674
You sound autistic or have schizoid personality disorder

[Anonymous No.20938779]

>>20935674
>I now will need to pay the price professionally over something he did for a fraction of a second
The fuck are you talking about?

[Anonymous No.20938786]

>>20935674
Elaborate.
You sound insufferable so it’s no loss.

[Anonymous No.20938790]

>>20936224
These test are always garbage because they will false-positive anyone with significant social anxiety.

[Anonymous No.20938794]

>>20936661
Fuck off tranny
Petertroons not bring up gender in unrelated discussions challenge [IMPOSSIBLE]

[Anonymous No.20938841]

>>20935651
>why bother with small talk, when you can talk about something cool or fun?
Because normalcattle have no idea how to talk about things that are cool or fun. What the hell do they talk about all day? Because literally all any of these niggers seem to be interested is is ‘haha did you see the game bro! Yeah bro Leonardo killed it!’ or ‘yo bro I got tickets to the lil’ peeny weeny concert! Haha really bro I’m jelly that’s fuckin epic!’ It would be all well and good if avoiding these people was an option, but there are so many of them that it’s basically impossible, unless that is I want to spend the rest of my life leeching off my parents and then just go sui when they die.

[Anonymous No.20938944]

>>20938841
man this post is sad. if you weren't completely autistic you would know that small talk is generally either a way of getting to know someone on a basic level when you first meet, casually catching up with an acquaintance, or just passing the time with someone you dont intend on forming a relationship with or spending time with for much longer

[Anonymous No.20938950]

I always let the other one do all the talking, be it colleagues, relatives or to some cute girl, I always pretend to be at least somewhat interested in what pointless drivel they are talking about, do a lot of smiling and questioning and my input in the whole conversation is at most a joke or two.

If they ask how I am doing or how the weekend was, I just say 'fine', 'not much going on' or something like that and then redirect the conversation back to them.

I mean, in my experience the ones who do all the smalltalking are also the ones who really like to hear themselves talk, and I can give them that and be a curious listener for a couple of minutes or if I think there is something in it for me

[Anonymous No.20939275]

>>20938503
"Chad" has a shit personality and isn't worth paying attention to.

>Certain failures don't have a reserve of backup self-esteem to rely upon to stave off literal death if a certain ego death occurs.
No one said it was going to be easy. This is just an excuse not to make an effort. You either go through the trials, go through Hades, or you sit in your room contemplating how "autistic" you are. Your choice.

[Anonymous No.20939424]

Any woman on the street will critique you for free and if you're particularly insistent they'll throw you some pepper spray your way yum

[Anonymous No.20940430]

bump,

[Anonymous No.20940829]

>>20935614
the book of doing ketamine.
the only good book on social interactions i've found which wasn't too bad is the Social Skills Guidebook. so maybe read that but also get yourself some ketamine and try having a few bumps before going out somewhere.

>>20935657
this

[Anonymous No.20941927]

>>20938712

I've kept things (pretty much) like this for years at my work. It's easy to do when almost all of your co-workers are young people who come and go every six months or so. Still, there's a few who have worked with me continuously for a few years but they never press for details out of professionalism, and I occasionally tell them about some recent normie thing I did to appear pretty-much human.

[Anonymous No.20942629]

>>20935614
this book is free on djborn.com there is also podcast on the book
https://youtu.be/uXzrVnYHq3s

[Anonymous No.20942809]

Get people talking about themselves and say you like their taste in music, people eat that shit up.

[Anonymous No.20943196]

>>20938707
Well, remembering what people like to talk about it with them later is actualy a great way to make friends, sounds like his execution was terrible but the idea was good.

[Anonymous No.20943223]

>>20938707
>Oh hey anon... *crushes your hand* *stares at you* sooo... have you *checks notes* read any good books lately?"
KEK

[Anonymous No.20943347]

>>20935614
Just talk to people.

[Anonymous No.20943817]

>>20935614
Develop a kind of 'partition' of yourself, give it a vocabulary of, say, a few hundred words and stick to it like you were working at a call center - my reasoning is, it's better to be able to confidently vocalize a few 'simple' words without any mistakes or imperfections (vocal fry, monotony, ballsqueak, stuttering.) If someone says something that is outside the breadth of your assigned vocabulary, confidently ask them to 'simplify it': Practice saying 'I favor the Socratic method' with various degrees of sincere, aloof, sarcastic and self-aware self-deprecating intonation for every demanding situation. If you want to make friends with someone who seems to require a larger lexicon, (like a pseud) just suck up to them, and use your freed up cognitive resources to visualize the best way to make them feel guilty about turning you down so that they like you even if it's just because you're endearing. Maybe they will pity you. Either way it will reveal to you their astonishingly feeble self image, which should no doubt at least erase your anxiety that you're being judged by people 'in the know.'

[Anonymous No.20944606]

>>20935663
Yyyyup

[Anonymous No.20944627]

>>20938358
>Leil Lowndes

[Anonymous No.20945138]

>>20935614
65 fucking replies and not a single mention of
>How to Win Friends and Influence People
?!

OP, do yourself a favour and read that book coupled with
>Never Split the Difference
which is a book on negotation, which may sound weird contextually, but trust me you're out for the first 1-3 techiques the book has to offer. Don't just look them up, but continuously scroll through the pages until it fucking sticks!!!

Once you've gotten a base foundation of how normie scum operate and a conclusion of what the triggers are. You apply one technique from Dales book, then immediately Mirror their answer, and apply a Label. Once you've got them going just continue this process and make a comment here or there.

You won't have to say a fucking thing, they will just continue going on about whatever they want. The difficult part is shutting the fuck up.

t. fellow not autist but someone who gives a flying fuck about the cattles feelings

[Anonymous No.20946171]

>>20945138
this is what I do but the conversation isn't enjoyable and it feels like im being a passive cuck in the process.

[Anonymous No.20946181]

>>20938841
you really aren't that unique or interesting, anon

[Anonymous No.20946272]

>>20938707
I thought we were friends

[Anonymous No.20946493]

>>20935614
I love that aesthetic so much. Post more!

[Anonymous No.20946642]

>>20938944
Anon doesn't understand because no one wants to get to know him or spend time with him so he never gets passed the small talk stage of human relations, so he thinks that literally all normal people do is small talk because he doesn't have self awareness

[Anonymous No.20946672]

I'm actually pretty good at small talk but absolutely horrible at transitioning into middle talk where you actually start to bond with someone. I don't even know what you talk about after you're done with the small talk about job, studies, etc. That's why I can't make friends.

[Anonymous No.20947355]

>>20935614
You can't its just something that happens organically, its just genetic. If anything doing no fap and not having sex (which I couldn't get anyway) helped me have better convos with people regardless of who they were. Idk what it is but thats something that helped me.

[Anonymous No.20947370]

>>20938707
oh i hate those crush your hand handshake guys i always think about how satisfying it would be to left elbow them right in the temple which they wouldn't be able to block due to their arm being used to squeeze the shit out of my fingers. fuck outta here pussy.

[Anonymous No.20947486]

>>20946672
Same brother. Except I'm comfortable with the silence, which naturally makes them drift away sometimes.

[Anonymous No.20948225]

>>20946672
Stupid frogposter.

[Anonymous No.20948265]

>>20938707
based sigma

[Anonymous No.20948375]

>>20946171
>it feels like im being a passive cuck in the process.

That's because you are being a passive cuck in the process, UNLESS you invoke your inner charm. This is fucking crucial, you're not meant to just stand there with an NPC face n ask shit bro. What's important is you keep her talking about whatever the fuck, but your body language/composture and tonality need to be tiptop as well!
>the conversation isn't enjoyable
Making frens sucks initially, you will feel the return once they start really liking you.

[Anonymous No.20949691]

>>20935614
Take a point from Nietzsche
Master/Slave morality is literally the difference between being motivated away from a stressor (slave) vs being motivated towards an affirmative goal (master morality)

Train your mind so that when you talk to people you do not enter slave behavior. When something gets awkward, try not to run away from the awkwardness, instead think of the positive way to move forward (keep track of yourself moment to moment in this way).

Think of how in Canada people apologize to each other excessively. Slave morality is when the Canadian apologizes because he is actually afraid of offending someone, Master morality is when they do it just because they like being agreeable. Even around Americans who find it contemptible or annoying that Canadians do this, they will naturally respect the master moralist behavior.

The point in all of this is that once you're in master mode you won't feel like constantly apologizing for yourself. You'll just talk to people and it will go how it goes. Slave morality is pretty much the only thing that can make you awkward.

[Anonymous No.20949729]

>>20949691
>how to make small talk
>Take a point from Nietzsche
lmao, no

[Anonymous No.20949738]

>>20949729
read the post you dumb fuck

[Anonymous No.20949747]

>>20949738
make me

[Anonymous No.20949766]

>>20942629
This section will teach you small talk skills:
https://djborn.com/the-how-to-dating-book-by-dj-born/chapter-4-16-super-effective-pickup-artist-moves/

[Anonymous No.20949772]

>>20949747

[Anonymous No.20949796]

>>20938779
>>20938786
My guess is he had his brother on a zoom call for some work or school meeting and the brother said something about niggers or jews out loud

[Anonymous No.20949814]

>>20935614
Inform them on world jewry

[Anonymous No.20949949]

>>20935614
details.
anything detailed described can be significant to the viewer or characters

[Anonymous No.20950583]

>>20935614
I’ve read a bunch of books on conversation. The best is The Fine Art of Small Talk. As a second book I recommend How to Be A Gentleman which is about social graces which teaches the mindset of being considerate of other people.
How to Win Friends is dated and less helpful. For instance you really shouldn’t be using people’s name all the time. It’s weird and fake, no one does that