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/lit/ - Literature

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20921752 No.20921752 [Reply] [Original]

My mother passed away suddenly at the start of this month. It has completely turned my world upside down. What are some books that explore this feel? Grieving the death of one’s mother

>> No.20921771

>>20921752
Go to a therapist or just wait a few weeks, of course if this is real, which I don’t believe.

>> No.20921793

>>20921771
It is real, I could post proof, but that would honestly feel kinda weird. And yeah, I’ll definitely go to therapy once we sort a bunch of family issues. But I’d still like to read something that explores this feeling of paternal loss.

>> No.20921839

>>20921752
Preddy sure there's a grieving section at barnes and noble.

>> No.20921853

>>20921752
Don't be a bitch and go to a >>>>>>>>>>>>"""""""therapist"""""""
t. mother died 2 years ago

>> No.20921917

>>20921793
Don't go to therapy, be a man. You can either grow from this or regress.

>> No.20922034

>>20921853
How did you cope with your mother’s death?

>> No.20922045

>>20921752
New AM is wicked

Read The Stranger

>> No.20922064
File: 648 KB, 1920x1594, Orestes_Pursued_by_the_Furies.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20922064

>>20921752
Eumenides

>> No.20922102

>>20921853
>dont be a bitch and go to a priest to talk and be guided in your personal experiences
why you normies dont see how wired you are?

>> No.20922127

>>20922034
He didn't.

>> No.20922137

>>20921752
Camus - The Stranger
Beckett - Molloy
Bartis - Tranquility
Jelinek - The Piano Teacher

>> No.20922204

In Search of Lost Time

>> No.20922216

>>20921752
The Year of Magical Thinking and Blue Nights, by Joan Didion (not paternal loss but still about grieving)

>> No.20922227 [DELETED] 

O Mein Gott!

>> No.20922626

>>20922034
give it time

>> No.20922632

>>20922216
>The Year of Magical Thinking
Yeah, that one's good.

>> No.20922636

>>20921752
>My mother passed away suddenly at the start of this month
ok good

>> No.20922640

Books won't help much. They might help very temporarily. You just have to lie down and observe your feelings. Shed tears if you need to, you almost definitely do.

>> No.20922644
File: 311 KB, 750x1000, good.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20922644

>>20921752

>> No.20922670

That album is going to be so good it'll be the soundtrack of my suicide.

>> No.20922719

I'm really sorry, OP. I will say a prayer for you and her if that means anything. Something I've found helps when dealing with tragedy like this is to remember how strong the person was, and not see them purely as a victim of the tragedy. They obviously are a victim of it, but they are also a full person with more strength and pride than we usually see or they usually tap into explicitly.

This is the real meaning of "she'd be happy to know you're still living life to the fullest and making her proud." That statement isn't some platitude or consolation prize for a tragedy. Imagine if you had passed away instead, and while watching from wherever we end up after this, you found out someone close to you was so devastated that they couldn't keep going. You would be sad you passed, obviously, but you would be mainly focused on yelling at them to keep going, to keep making you proud, to not miss out on life or happiness.

Death is a mystery and we experience it solely as this tragedy that erupts into life for no reason. But if you believe in any higher meaning, an afterlife or reincarnation (personally I think it's a blend of all three), you should have faith that there is a deeper truth in the idea that she is still with you and she wants you to keep going more than anything else.

You are going to have to grieve, and grieving is one of those processes that makes absolutely no sense and just has to play out. It makes no sense because even the end goal doesn't seem desirable when you start out, nobody wants to imagine "just another two years and I'll finally be 'over' this tragedy!" because that's an insult to the tragedy. But wherever we go after this, we have to have faith that the people who are the victims of the seeming meaninglessness of bullshit tragedies like this one are begging us to trust the grieving process, keep living, defeat the mysterious meaninglessness of death by continuing the joy of life until we someday can solve the mystery.

The best possible homage you can pay to your mom is to keep the energy of what she is and what she represents flowing until some day you're sitting with your own kid on your knee, and passing the flame of love along to them seamlessly, in the same way your mom passed it to you every day, in a trillion moments you don't even remember, including during periods when she was grieving.

>> No.20922733

>>20921752
If you weren't a complete /stranger/ to the board you would already have your answer right there
Does /lit/ really spell out my blog or new readers digest?

>> No.20922738

>>20922719
Fuck you, your mother dies and you die in your sleep you fucking cretin

>> No.20924224

>>20922719
;-;
thanks for this anon, i really appreciate it

>> No.20924237

>>20921917
There no shame in therapy, a therapist just expedites processing all those normal feelings of guilt, loss and regret, it’s like you can learn to do something yourself or you can hire a professional to get it done way faster. I’m sick and tired of the stigma associated with therapy there should be no shame in talking to someone. In fact I think it takes more courage to admit that something is actually wrong and that you need help. You’re the problem that men have in this society.

>> No.20924239

>If I were to assert that I am unmoved by grief at Scipio's death, it would be for “wise” men to judge how far I am right, yet, beyond a doubt, my assertion would be false. For I am indeed moved by the loss of a friend such, I believe, as I shall never have again, and—as I can assert on positive knowledge— a friend such as no other man ever was to me. But I am not devoid of a remedy, and I find very great consolation in the comforting fact that I am free from the delusion which causes most men anguish when their friends depart. I believe that no ill has befallen Scipio; it has befallen me, if it has befallen anyone; but great anguish for one's own inconveniences is the mark of the man who loves not his friend but himself.

>> No.20924241

My mom also died this year. I'll try to keep the thread going for you OP

>> No.20924330

>>20921752
Dont go to a therapist. Give it time and allow yourself to grieve in your own way.

>> No.20924609

>>20921752
I was at a movie theater a few months ago and heard a couple of guys behind me talking about this book where the author talked about coping with the death of her husband. I wish I could remember the name or any more information, but I can't, sadly. I know it absolutely wasn't her, but I remember her name sounding kind of like "jane goodall." Or "jane campion" I'm 95% sure that her first name started with a J, though it might not be Jane.

>> No.20924614

>>20924609
Joan Didion, the year of magical thinking.

>> No.20924619

>>20924237
Therapy is a jewish trick. There is no incentive to cure you or reach some kind of catharsis, otherwise you stop coming back and giving him money. Like other anons have said, this is a spiritual journey you have to go on on your own, and you will come out the other side stronger because you did so.

>> No.20924626

My mom died in a car crash several years ago. I still think about her every day. I can't give you any advice. There's nothing I can tell you that you haven't heard. But I do wish you the best. I hope you get through this.

>> No.20924635

my dad died when i was a teenager. i hope my mom never dies.

>> No.20924796

May she and everyone else's loved ones who have passed on, rest in peace.

>> No.20925673

>>20924619
It worked for me i was a piece of garbage before I started going short fuse anger and resentment now I can catch myself before the cycle spins out of control. Could I of gotten there myself? Yea probably but by the time that happened I would’ve been much older and even more jaded that I still wouldn’t be able to figure out the core issues. It works if you work it and no you don’t have to stay there forever if you don’t want to but it is nice having someone to talk to that you know and can’t spill your secrets.

>> No.20926733

Ulysses by Joyce deals partly with the death of a mother, but it's very hard to read.

>> No.20926736

>>20924796
Bless you too anon

>> No.20926941

>>20921752
My sincere condolences, anon... I love my mom dearly even when we have our fights. The book can help you deal and UNDERSTAND grief, it can help you see the truth and maybe it will give you the highest purpose in life. I hope it gives you truth as it has given me. I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart, my friend.
https://library.dhammasukha.org/uploads/1/2/8/6/12865490/the_path_to_nibbana__d_johnson_f18.pdf

>> No.20926961

Buddhism or Becker's Denial of Death.

>> No.20926990

>>20922137
The First Man might be better Camus for this

>> No.20927000

>>20922670
The single is mesmerising

>>20921752
Grief is a bitch, sorry OP. Someone mentioned Ulysses, and I think that's a great shout. It's a meditation on death and loss and life, and it's beautiful

>> No.20927017

A Sorrow Beyond Dreams by Peter Handke.

Sorry to hear the bad news, OP.

>> No.20927068

>>20927000
What music?

>> No.20927093

>>20922670
For me it's this track
https://youtu.be/LNgwuegvHSM

>> No.20927101

>>20922719
This was genuinely beautiful. I am not OP but thanks for this you made my dayy.

>> No.20927137

>>20927068
New Arctic Monkeys' single, fantastic video as well: https://youtu.be/FY5CAz6S9kE

Alex Turner should write a novel or something think he'd be good at it

>> No.20927166

>>20927137
Thanks for the link

>> No.20927187

>>20921752
Sorry to hear, anon. Lewis' A Grief Observed is a common recommendation, but a good one. You might also want to try Ferris' "The Unnamed" and/or Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying," though those are only kind of tangentially related they still might be worth reading.

>> No.20928811

>>20921752
accepting the reality of things, and realize others and you will die.

>> No.20929398

>>20924237
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EULynGtVskU&ab_channel=FullNietzsche

>> No.20929835
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20929835

OP here. Want to thank everyone for the recs and the kind words. New Monkeys album is going to be great indeed

>> No.20929848

>>20921752
My dad died almost 3 years ago, I'm still not the same as I used to be. Hurts a lot more when your parents are more like close friends.

Time will help heal.

>> No.20929858
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20929858

>>20922719

>> No.20929874

>>20921752
a lotta dudes moms passing away lately. I had three friends that lost their moms within months of each other. kind of put a damper on a lot of stuff.

>> No.20929878

>>20927137
my brother likes them. I'm not much for "chill indie" shit.

>> No.20929882

>>20921752
Your mother died and your reaction is to post about it on the internet and ask a bunch of degenerates for book recommendations so you can commodify your emotions? This thread is a perfect example of over domestication brainwashing people into self administration of poison.
>>20929848
This fuckin shmuck is the heroin king himself. How are you going to handle it when YOU die? News flash we're all gonna die. Put that in your pipe and smoke it you purple pissing fuck. OP I hope you enjoy sucking your thumb thinking of mommy while you listen to your cool new monkeys record. Fuck you.

>> No.20929885

>>20921752
Hungry hungry caterpillar.

>> No.20929891

>>20927101
I bet your pussy is beautiful too.

>> No.20929895

>>20921752
Speak with a priest and not a therapist. As to books, the stranger has some not morally uplifting scenes about a mother passing away.

>> No.20929898

>>20925673
news flash, only real change comes through Christ

>> No.20929899

>>20929878
desu they shed their indie roots years ago. The last album was a lounge-bar on the moon concept album. It's Turner's lyricism and the restrained inventiveness that makes them really special I think.

>> No.20929900

>>20929882
lmao cute

>> No.20929903

>>20929900
Laugh it up chuckle fuck

>> No.20929907

>>20929903
im not op but am bemused at how sick and useless your post is. Repent.

>> No.20929910

>>20921752
Roadwork by Richard Bachman

>> No.20929924

>>20929907
The only one sick and useless is OP. What a degrading display of weakness. As for you, of course you would throw "repent" on the end there. You're not virtuous, you're polite. Go ahead and feel morally superior cause you didn't step on any toes. I for one will kick and bite.

>> No.20929935

>>20929924
>kick and bite
Then the king told the servants, 'Tie him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
Yes. Yes you will. Repent for your pathetic weakness to your own rage.

>> No.20929937

>>20929935
Repent for being a disgrace to masculinity and supporting another's self emasculation.

>> No.20929940

>>20929937
>Repent for being a disgrace to masculinity and supporting another's self emasculation.
>masculinity
please define this

>> No.20929961

>>20929940
Fuck you chicken shit. You didn't address me from the beginning, instead you acted like coy fucking bastard. Then I pressed you and you wagged a finger and pointed to God. At no point did you engage. At no point did say anything of substance. You must think you're pretty full of grace and love and flowers and pulp. I'll define a word for you. Hate. Hate is what I possess when I'd put your head thru a wall or shoot you for being a contemptible coward. One day the illusion will fade and the comforts will cease. And what will you, OP, and your ilk be left with but mushy shitty yellow cowardice. Good manners, knowing when to say please and thank you, kissing some old womans ass after sunday school teaches you about being nice to people. You reacted to a tone, not to a content. Your morality is that of a school child. Drop the bible and pick up dr seuss if that's all it's going to mean to you anyway. You're the scourge of the earth, not me.

>> No.20929994

>>20926961
the latter is hylic propaganda

>> No.20930011

>>20921752
The Stranger by Camus

>> No.20930012
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20930012

>> No.20930047
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20930047

>>20921752
Find comfort in the fact that you are not alone OP. Despite being one of the hardest things for anyone to accept, it is something that literally everyone goes through at some point in time.

>> No.20930058

>>20930012
I don't think telling someone they're going to be turned into an animal for not pursuing philosophy will help anyone