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/lit/ - Literature

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20809168 No.20809168 [Reply] [Original]

QRD on F Gardner and Call of the Crocodile?

>> No.20809247

F. Gardner is a developmentally disabled man-child, absolutely devoid of self-respect, still living at home with his parents despite being in his mid 30s, and does Walter Mitty shit about being a successful writer, even though he shits unedited garbage from his fingers, and has no talent whatsoever.

For example...Call of the Crocodile's twist is that the family for the first half of the book never existed and were made up by a kid who browsed /x/ and tried to make a family of tulpas for himself. The twist is revealed in a chapter where the kid who you think got eaten by a crocodile is still alive and he's playing with a Ouija board in a treehouse. The treehouse is struck by lightning and the kid is hospitalized. Then there's some out of body chapters where the kid is in this DMT realm and tormented by elves and the tulpa family tries to kill him for creating them. The kid sees the reader of the book and then snaps out of the DMT trip. Then an evil cult named Ouroboros kidnaps the kid, Stephen King and JK Rowling and brings them to Dracula's Castle (which has been relocated to Chicago) because they want to burn it down with a bunch of people inside as a Satanic sacrifice for The Great Reset. The kid burns down the castle early causing the cult to flee and then the ghost of the kid's dad saves him along with Stephen King and JK Rowling and they all watch the castle burn down together.

My butt just wrote a better story than that.
Pardon me, I need to open the window.