F Gardner

[Anonymous No.20798436]

How did F Gardner become the most famous author of all time?

[Anonymous No.20798440]

He wrote a bunch of very good books that defined an era and inspired people to change the world for the better.

[Anonymous No.20798447]

He's not. He's a self-promoting, self-stroking, shill-spamming lolcow.
Even worse, he's boring as hell.

[Anonymous No.20798450]

>>20798447
Sounds like fake news.

[Anonymous No.20798458]

thanks for your service f gardner

[Anonymous No.20798459]

>>20798450
No, it appears to be a growing consensus.

[Anonymous No.20798466]

I have yet to touch a Gardner book but the more people seethe about him the more I want to buy his entire works, read them all, and then shamelessly shill them here and constantly reference them whenever I can. Gardner just seems unfathomably based.

[Anonymous No.20798474]

>>20798436

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HsLfrpEAfB8

Posting this here because more people should see what a lunatic this “author” is. Here’s an Interview where F Gardner reveals he’s a flat earther. He has destroyed all credibility and proven himself to be an absolute retard.

[Anonymous No.20798475]

>>20798466
Save your money.

Call of the Crocodile's twist is that the family for the first half of the book never existed and were made up by a kid who browsed /x/ and tried to make a family of tulpas for himself. The twist is revealed in a chapter where the kid who you think got eaten by a crocodile is still alive and he's playing with a Ouija board in a treehouse. The treehouse is struck by lightning and the kid is hospitalized. Then there's some out of body chapters where the kid is in this DMT realm and tormented by elves and the tulpa family tries to kill him for creating them. The kid sees the reader of the book and then snaps out of the DMT trip. Then an evil cult named Ouroboros kidnaps the kid, Stephen King and JK Rowling and brings them to Dracula's Castle (which has been relocated to Chicago) because they want to burn it down with a bunch of people inside as a Satanic sacrifice for The Great Reset. The kid burns down the castle early causing the cult to flee and then the ghost of the kid's dad saves him along with Stephen King and JK Rowling and they all watch the castle burn down together.

[Anonymous No.20798476]

>>20798459
the final redpill is that f gardner wrote those posts

[Anonymous No.20798479]

>>20798474
>iPhone filename
>seething at Gardner's based beliefs

>>20798475
That sounds fucking kino, I'm buying the book now.

[Anonymous No.20798501]

>>20798476
Yes, we know Gardner is schizo.
He demonstrates that constantly.
He's also a gay tranny NEET that still lives with his parents.

[Anonymous No.20798505]

>>20798475
This sounds like the best book I’ve ever heard of desu. Makes me curious how crazy all the other F Gardner books are.

[Anonymous No.20798514]

>>20798505
If by "crazy" you mean "shitty", here's an example of his actual "prose":

>An eternal night, was stretched out as far as
>Otto could see. The sky was pitch black, and
>seemed to last forever. Not a single star was in
>the sky. Very different from the sky back on
>Earth. In the mortal world, Otto could usually
>see at least some stars. Otto’s home was in
>Chicago. In the city. So, that meant the sky
>wasn’t always as clear as it would be,
>otherwise. In the country, the stars in the sky
>can seem boundless. They’re visible and
>plentiful. But in Chicago, it wasn’t quite as
>clear. You couldn’t see as many of them, but
>they were still there. This place however, was
>unlike Chicago. There wasn’t a single star
>which the boy could detect. The sky was empty,
>devoid of a single star. It was just pure
>darkness above him. Starless.

[Anonymous No.20798525]

>>20798514
That's much better than the other excerpts of his I've seen posted, imgho.

[Anonymous No.20798530]

>>20798525
Yes...his writing has improved from dog shit, to dog food.

[Anonymous No.20798549]

>>20798525
I’ve read Jigoku. It’s honestly great. I didn’t see any of the issues CotC had in it.

[Anonymous No.20798552]

>>20798549
>It’s honestly great.
Gosh, what a thoughtful and expressive statement.
You're clearly its target audience.

[Anonymous No.20798621]

>>20798552
Have you read Jigoku? It’s literally Pokémon for edgelords. It’s kino.

[Anonymous No.20798627]

>>20798621
>Pokémon
>edgelords
>kino
3 words that have NEVER gone together.
Face facts, Gardner...you're a self-promoting, self-stroking, shill-spamming lolcow.
Even worse, you're boring as hell.

[Anonymous No.20798629]

>>20798514
I like it that it's in space and tells me that. They're in space and I know that now because Chicago is very different from space. I'm not really sure it happened in space but I like it anyway. It's some kind of space, maybe not "space" space, unlike Chicago and from reading this I know that. I've never been to space or Chicago but I heard it's similar but there are less stars in space. The country around Chicago is starry but not where Otto was. He was in space except space is fake and gay. He was in some kind of space. The sky was empty and I like that, not like Chicago.

[Anonymous No.20798635]

>>20798627
If your only retort is to resort to accusing me of being the author then you really are as brainless as I thought. F Gardner and Call of the Crocodile are old memes that have been posted on here for years. I’m guessing you’re a summerfag? I bet you think all the Tao Lin posters are the author too.

[Anonymous No.20798649]

>>20798635
You are Gardner. >>20798629 proves it.
Your summary of >>20798514 sounds exactly like Gardner.
At least your spammy threads are finally getting deleted by the janitors.
You've been banned from every site on the Internet, and your posts get deleted from here, which is the closest 4chan has to banning.
Face it, Gardner...you've been rejected across the board, and it's because of who you are.

[Anonymous No.20798661]

>>20798649
>>>20798635
>You are Gardner. >>20798629 (You) proves it.
You are bad at reading. I guess I should read this Gardner fellow since people like you seethe over him so much.

[Anonymous No.20798674]

>>20798661
I like Gardner’s work and the majority of /lit/ does too. It is you that’s been rejected. Reminder that these threads have been going for two years. Do you think they’re going to stop or are really all by one person? Actually you probably do think that. Lol. Lmao even.

If all you’re going to do is make retarded posts seething about how much of a loser you are then fuck off to reddit

[Anonymous No.20798708]

>>20798674
No one on /lit/ likes Gardner.
That's why he has to shill-spam his work...because he has no following.
And I do this because (assuming this thread isn't simply deleted) it'll leave a permanent record on warosu and elsewhere, of Gardner's total sad-cringe lolcow nonsense.
>retarded
There's that antidiluvian hate speech again.
Typical of midwits.
>reddit
But Gardner posts to Reddit, too...
https://reddit.com/comments/j7poea

[Anonymous No.20798711]

>>20798674
I think that it's good to say how many stars are if there are less stars or more stars, and when there are no stars. Also it is good to says how the stars are in Chicago and the surrounding area otherwise it would be the case that you would not know the number of stars in Chicago, where Otto is or the surrounding area. Otto is not in Chicago unlike where Otto is.

[Anonymous No.20798718]

>>20798466
>but the more people seethe about him the more I want to buy his entire works, read them all, and then shamelessly shill them here and constantly reference them whenever I can
You sound like a massive faggot

[Anonymous No.20798721]

>>20798711
>barely literate gibberish
Is it time for your mommy to change your diaper?

[Anonymous No.20798732]

>>20798718
>gay
He is. He admitted it.
And yes, it was him, because literally no one here posts about Gardner but him.
He has no following, and is completely boring.

[Anonymous No.20798733]

>>20798708
Not just reddit, he frequents discord and gets really angry and blocks you if you make fun of him lol

[Anonymous No.20798748]

By writing the greatest books of all time.

[Anonymous No.20798752]

>>20798721
Listen here now it is good writing to tell us how many stars in Chicago, and surrounding area. In the surrounding area of Chicago the sky can seem very large, and unlike Chicago they are detectable but also some are also detectable in Chicago.

[Anonymous No.20798764]

>>20798752
You genuinely can't rise above barely literate gibberish, can you.
You're too dumb to know how dumb you are.
And you continue to humiliate yourself in public without the slightest awareness of it.
And yet even you must realize that, once you die, literally no one will mention your name, or your "books", again.

[Anonymous No.20798792]

>>20798764
Are you in Chicago? Any stars? Point proven.

[Anonymous No.20798901]

>>20798514
Did this guy fuck your mom or something? you're really going hard at him.
My personal opinion is he seems unfathomably based.

[Anonymous No.20798917]

>>20798708
>No one on /lit/ likes Gardner.
I- I do...

[Anonymous No.20798931]

>>20798901
Posting his actual prose is going hard at him?
Shouldn't that be an advertisement for his writing?
You clearly don't think it is.
Doesn't that indicate you think his writing is crap, and posting it is necessarily some sort of attack?

[Anonymous No.20798953]

>>20798917
Yes, Gardner, we know you like yourself.
Your constant self-stroking shill-spamming makes that abundantly clear.
Remember, you've been banned from practically every site on the Net.
The only reason you're still here is that it's extremely difficult to ban someone from 4chan.
This is literally your last online refuge.
And you've revealed yourself to be a sad-cringe lolcow, and so no one takes you seriously except naive newfags.
Which is almost the same thing as being banned from here.
You have no following, you have no relevance, and you're a parasite on your hapless parents, who are embarrassed daily that you turned out as feckless as you did.

[Anonymous No.20798956]

>>20798931
I would think that you were using reverse-psychology to shill for Gardner (in a way that would be absolutely genius, classic Gardner) but your annoying lefty plebbitor idiosyncrasies make that unlikely. So yea, did he fuck your mom or are you really crabbing that hard over a successful and brilliant new author

[Anonymous No.20798960]

>>20798764
I tried to imitate the style and just kept going when you kept seething.
I don't know how I can tell but I'm almost certain the parts you quoted are deliberately written that way. I like to analyze absolute schizo text like timecube for some reason and this isn't that. It's self-aware.

[Anonymous No.20798975]

>>20798931
you're throwing that same pasta up in every thread about his works lol

[Anonymous No.20798976]

>>20798752
Reads like this ancient screencap
Thinking of it, I wonder if this could actually be Gardner

[Anonymous No.20798981]

>>20798960
No, the parts I quotes are indicative of his overall "style".
He simply writes unedited gibberish.
You can see that for yourself in the "Look Inside" portions of his "books" on Amazon.
The plethora of midwit deficiencies are identical.

[Anonymous No.20798989]

>>20798981
>He simply writes unedited gibberish.
It's still more deliberate than real schizos. He probably derived it from schizoposting, noticed that it interests certain people, like me. That's not a bad way of using 4chan, as a way to find these sorts of untapped resources like noticing there are readers that like schizoposts.

[Anonymous No.20798995]

>>20798956
Lefty? As if.
Plebbitor? He's one of those...see https://reddit.com/comments/j7poea
Successful? He can't even afford to move out of his parent's house.
Brilliant? Then why can't he handle basic spelling, grammar, punctuation, or plotting?
Simply put...you are completely out of touch with reality.

[Anonymous No.20799006]

>>20798995
there you go with that fag talk again

[Anonymous No.20799021]

>>20799006
That's rich, coming from someone that openly admitted to being gay... see >>20798732

[Anonymous No.20799024]

>>20798981
Sounds like an issue with your reading comprehension. I’ve read Call of the Crocodile and Call of the Arcade and I was able to understand the plots fine.

[Anonymous No.20799030]

>>20799021
>>20798995
based forced meme exposer

[Anonymous No.20799040]

>>20799021
>A screencap of someone calling F. Gardner gay is proof F. Gardner is gay.

Hahahaha.

[Anonymous No.20799058]

>>20799040
Gardner is the only one that discusses him or his work.
He has no following whatsoever.
And he knows it.
So yes, that was Gardner, calling himself gay.
If his following was a tenth of what he claims it is, he could move out of his parent's home, and stop bleeding them dry with his NEET failure-to-launch lolcow sadcringe.
How soulless he must be, to have no pity for his long-suffering and deeply embarrassed parents.

[Anonymous No.20799152]

>>20799058
Do you get measurable results from this? Do you sell more books?

[Anonymous No.20799542]

Probably by being a memeable author. I mean, he thinks the earth is flat and that smoking doesn’t cause cancer.

[Anonymous No.20799764]

Have you read Call of the Crocodile? It’s batshit insane yet oddly enjoyable. Take a look at this old screencap. This is a fairly accurate summary to the start of the book. It’s incredible for all the reasons you’d never think a book would be.