Anybody need an editor?

[Anonymous No.20738393]

My specialty is dialogue punch-ups, but I've worked on both fiction and nonfiction. I can revise your manuscript cheap and answer any other writing questions you have.

Hit me up at [e-mail]

[Anonymous No.20738421]

>>20738393
Why are you so mean to that guy in pic related? People won't send you things to edit if you're just a big old bully >:(

[Anonymous No.20738425]

>>20738421
He drew first blood

[Anonymous No.20738435]

>>20738425
Huhh??

[Anonymous No.20738441]

>>20738435

also I would have indented his paragraphs, but he posted his literary achievement in greentext

[Anonymous No.20738505]

Almost every single change you made is worse. You're fucking up the rhythm, impact, alliteration, everything deliberate and remotely distinct about his voice. Goddamn, this made me angry to read. I sincerely hope he didn't pay you for this shit.

[Anonymous No.20738522]

>>20738505
"A sharp lasso of pain"? What is this, Cowboy fucking Bebop?

[Anonymous No.20738591]

How do I find someone willing to be an editor that isn't like OP?

[Anonymous No.20738617]

>>20738522
you've never watched cowboy bebop, huh

[Anonymous No.20738622]

>>20738522
One of the only things you got right, and by far the most obvious. You have no understanding of writing. "I killed a little boy today" is a much more forceful and impactful opening than "today I killed a little boy." The former is a bold confession, the latter is a fucking story. -oy is a weaker digraph than -ay. You also fucked up the alliteration in "boy today."

Next line: you turned "Held my hands around his throat - felt his blood pump hard against my thumbs" into "I held my hands (weaker, less gravelly opening, fucked up the alliteration again) around his throat - felt (the omission of a conjunction transition or subject repetition doesn't work here now because you removed the first one he did) his blood throb (again, the entire rhythm of the sentence is ruined; the illustrative breathy H sounds are removed or diminished, replaced by nothing) against my sweaty skin (now you try your own hand at alliteration but you're dogshit at it and frankly should be asking him for tips; weak ending.) You don't even seem to realize that the original sentence was written in trochaic meter and followed a strict pattern of stressed-unstressed syllables to mimic a heartbeat.

Give this guy his money back and apologize. You don't know what you're doing.

[Anonymous No.20738690]

>>20738622
You think we should break up iambic meter so you can put a preposition at the END of the sentence?

Also the image in OP was an unpaid joke meme from writing general, you papist hylic. Go worship your rock

[Anonymous No.20738698]

>>20738393
>grammarly-tier “edits”
You should consider suck starting a pistol

[Anonymous No.20738701]

>>20738393
Are you okay doing erotica?

[Anonymous No.20738708]

>>20738698
You guys can't tell from the comments the image in OP is a joke? Holy fuck, where is Planned Parenthood when you need them?

>>20738701
Yes

[Anonymous No.20738715]

>>20738690
>today is a preposition
Jesus fucking Christ, /lit/.

[Anonymous No.20738725]

Today, OP is always already a faggot.

[Anonymous No.20738732]

>>20738715
TO-DAY

"TO" IS A PREPOSITION

READ SHAKESPEARE

[Anonymous No.20738744]

>>20738505
IT'S A JOKE YOU NPCs AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.20738760]

>>20738622
actual retard