How do I write like this?

[Anonymous No.20559213]

[Anonymous No.20559260]

unironically read Vonnegut. I know he's reddit-tier literature in terms of the actual intellectual content of his writing but he executes almost every aspect of comedy writing perfectly

[Anonymous No.20559356]

Tbh it’s actually really poorly written.
>”making it pulsate even as the”
so awkward it makes me cringe; reads like it’s written by someone who’s heard about books but only read a few.
really hate this meme frankly because it really is funny theoretically, just someone with a bit of skill should have written the bit

[Anonymous No.20559402]

it's hilarious but i bet this anon wrote the entire thing in under 1min without even thinking super deeply about it. best memes often write themselves.

[Anonymous No.20559432]

Thoughts on the sequel?

[Anonymous No.20559450]

>>20559356
No one said anything about its aesthetic value. Your reply was unnecessary and a waste of your energy.

[Anonymous No.20559523]

>>20559450
>seething
Cope

[Anonymous No.20559535]

>>20559523
I am neither seething nor coping, sir. I am, however, feeding and seeding!

[Anonymous No.20559892]

>>20559356
true

[Anonymous No.20561135]

>>20559260
What the fuck is Reddit-tier?

[Anonymous No.20561450]

>>20559535
Based

[Anonymous No.20561459]

>>20561135
Just shy of midwit.

[Anonymous No.20561819]

>>20559356
>OMG, IT'S NOT PERFECT!!!!! WEEOOO WEEEEOOO WEEEEOOO CALL THE GRAMMAR POLICE!!!
Control freak

[Anonymous No.20561844]

>>20559356
I agree, and the "(merited)" is unnecessary and or redundant

[Anonymous No.20561912]

>>20561844
Fuck you you're wrong

[Anonymous No.20561950]

>>20561844
That is what makes it funny. That the narrator reveals something startlingly fucked up in a very blunt manner.

[Anonymous No.20562006]

>>20559356
its not perfectly composed but its veracity to the feeling of the image is the reason it is so widely shared

[Anonymous No.20562013]

>>20559432
Astounding. A+.

[Anonymous No.20562085]

>>20561135
to me, it’s quirky and appears as very self aware, but this awareness is just lipstick on a pig

[Anonymous No.20562178]

>>20561135
It's "popular bad" plus the fact that his writing is comedic in a quirky way.

[Anonymous No.20562582]

>>20559213
>2018
I swear this is much older.

[Anonymous No.20563278]

>>20559432
Lol

[Anonymous No.20563401]

>>20559402
This. Sure, it's not "well-written" in classical terms, but it's memorable, funny, and is written with a stunningly realistic imagination that creates an impressionistic idea of a scene in very few words and with little actual content. Also, it's 4chan-ready.

[Anonymous No.20563503]

>>20559432
Stupendous

[Anonymous No.20563522]

Does anyone have the pic of the /lit/izen whose novel had the word "nigger" comprising something like 50% of the word count

[Anonymous No.20563527]

>>20561844
Nope it's exceedingly necessary. To libs™ globohomo™SJWs™, fearing minorities is NEVER merited. This piece of writing then is not only funny and evocative, but it also speaks truth to power.

[Anonymous No.20563864]

>>20563522

[Anonymous No.20563897]

>>20561844
That's the best part of the text, along with the last line.

[Anonymous No.20563982]

>>20559356
why don't you make your own version and see how it fares against the original?

[Anonymous No.20563985]

>>20559432
This can't be fucking real

[Anonymous No.20564007]

>>20559356
It sounds like it was written by someone on a whim, with no thought put into it other than what came naturally, and no desire to edit it.

[Anonymous No.20564011]

>>20559432
Masterpiece.

[Anonymous No.20564155]

>>20563864
I wish this guy actually published it.

[Anonymous No.20564378]

>>20559356
True

[Anonymous No.20564487]

>>20561135
Lurk more. Dont post for a year or two.
>learn board culture before opening your newfag whore mouth

[Anonymous No.20564794]

>>20559432
alternative

[Anonymous No.20565012]

>>20559356
Strong disagree. There's a word here or there one might change. But generally the core of this thing is strong enough that the rough edges become charming and give it something more than just quality- character. You don't need to read everything like an editor.

[Anonymous No.20565057]

>>20561135
Vonnegut. Are you lacking in reading comprehension?

[Anonymous No.20565068]

>>20559432
All it's lacking is a mention of him actually entering the car.
Actual kino. Give it up aspiring authors, the machines have finally beaten us.

[Anonymous No.20565071]

>>20561844
Absolutely retarded take, never criticize literature ever again you knuckle-dragging neanderthal.

[Anonymous No.20565078]

>>20559356
>”making it pulsate even as the”
Literally what's wrong with this?

[Anonymous No.20565143]

>>20564794
Absolutely horrible. Reads like something a twelve-year-old would write on r/4chan.

[Anonymous No.20565148]

>>20565143
It's from an AI

[Anonymous No.20565155]

>>20565148
And it sucks ass.

[Anonymous No.20565222]

>>20559356
Absence of SOUL: the post

[Anonymous No.20565233]

>>20565222
Presence of COPE: the post

[Anonymous No.20565866]

"I love my car," he said. He would like to see some niggers try to steal it from him. He'd like to see them try to steal it from him and drive off into the night. He'd like to chase them down, cuss them out and beat them with a tire iron. "Bring it on, niggers," he shouted. He laughed. The wine, the adrenaline and the music were swirling in his head. The world was spinning around him. "I'm the man," he said, "I'm the man." He turned off the music. He went home. He got into bed. He fell asleep. He dreamed of being beaten by a gang of niggers. They stole his car and drove off into the night.

[Anonymous No.20565953]

>>20559356
You would destroy this art by changing any word, it's meant to be written like that. This is why you'll never write anything good.

[Anonymous No.20566090]

>>20561844
agreed. the passage itself (particularly with stylistic choice of capitalizing nigger), coupled with the fact that the writer is a 4chan poster, already implies the author probably thinks the fear is merited

[Anonymous No.20566128]

>>20565866
Please never post on /lit/ again

[Anonymous No.20566956]

>>20561950
Yeah that was my favourite bit I’m not even racist but blunt stuff like this is always hilarious to me, even though it lacks any wit or cleverness it always makes me cackle.

[Anonymous No.20566999]

>>20565866
Please post on lit again

[Anonymous No.20567005]

>>20563527
What did niqua thinkin

[Anonymous No.20567017]

>>20561135
>>20564487
He'll be gone when summer is over.

[Nick gers No.20567080]

Nick gers

[Anonymous No.20567094]

>>20559432
waht programm/website?

[Anonymous No.20567100]

>>20559356
All the newfags falling for your post, well done anon

[Anonymous No.20567122]

>>20561135
Pretentious and/but lacking the soul
Oh and always lying to themselves

[Anonymous No.20567153]

>>20559213
Haiku. You must be able to compress the image, distill it to its quintessence. Those serve as good practice. Stalking deer without straight lines.

[Anonymous No.20567270]

>>20559213
1. have talent to write
2. find all your compasses
3. align all your compasses and then just write
>>20559260
Vonnegut is a cheeky case because he got his compasses bumped around in WW2 (in which he got caught up because he wanted to get away from his parents and huge family).
He still wrote gems like "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 1951" (published posthumously) my point being that you shouldn't follow anyones advice. Just write about the conditions you would need to be able to PROPERLY think about what you would want to write about... and the rest will come by itself.

[Anonymous No.20567466]

>>20559356
>>20559450 >>20559892 >>20561819 >>20561844 >>20562006 >>20563982 >>20564007 >>20564378 >>20565012 >>20565078 >>20565222 >>20565953 >>20567100
Are you retards fucking kidding me? It's written badly on purpose. That's why it's so funny. It sounds retarded, in a funny way. It uses a number of sophomoric composition formulae, in a funny ironical way.

[Anonymous No.20567637]

>>20567466
>It's written badly on purpose.
for a second I thought I was in the william gibson bread lol

[Anonymous No.20567669]

>>20567637
>blaspheming neuromancer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqPOeC-tnKI

[Anonymous No.20567678]

>>20561135
>>20567122
expanding on this, its pretentious, and preaches damnation and doom, without a chance for salvation

[Anonymous No.20567695]

>>20567669
not necessarily but pretty close >>20567611

[Anonymous No.20567794]

>>20567466
That didn't answer my question, bitch. What was wrong with:
>"making it pulsate even as the"

[Anonymous No.20567822]

>>20567270
>compasses bumped
what's this mean? i like the sound of it, i have no idea what it's trying to express tho

[Anonymous No.20567843]

>>20565078
I'd remove the "the" at the end to start.
>making it pulsate even as $9 wine circulated his powerful, thick veins and washed away his (merited)

disclaimer: i've never taken english lit

[Anonymous No.20567852]

>>20559432
>suddenly he noticed black man walking towards him
>"JANNIES"
10/10

[Anonymous No.20568001]

>>20567822
nothing special... traumatic events get some things stuck, that's all

[Anonymous No.20568050]

>>20567843
That doesn't seem very cringe-worthy.

[Anonymous No.20568063]

>>20568050
?

[Anonymous No.20568694]

>>20564794
>>20565148
>>20565155
Is that even OpenAI? OpenAI doesn't let you use niggers, that's why it got changed to jannies. You could use nlggers or n1ggers but cheap censorship fucks with the soul of the text, I think

[Anonymous No.20568704]

>>20565068
>>20563985
It is real. The reason it doesn't mention him entering the car is because the AI misinterprets the text and doesn't understand that he's outside (or at a gas station). It's guessing he's inside with the window open, parked on some street

[Anonymous No.20568710]

>>20568704
forgot to mention that the parked on a street thing is clear cause it talks about people sitting on their front porches, it's guessing that "in this neighbourhood" means he's on some street, cause there's nothing else to go by

[Anonymous No.20568722]

>>20559432
this actually does a really good job of keeping up the suspense of the paragraph

[Anonymous No.20568728]

>>20559356
>calling the writing of others “poorly written” while using shitloads of unnecessary adverbs in your own writing

Wew lad

[Anonymous No.20569438]

>>20563864

[Anonymous No.20571619]

>>20563864
that one single utterance of "darkies" always gets me