/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.20506847]

The "screaming into the void" edition

Previous thread: >>20498146

For General Writing
>The Rhetoric of Fiction, Booth
>Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft, Burroway
>Steering the Craft, Le Guin
>The Anatomy of Story, Truby
>How Fiction Works, Wood

YouTube Playlists for Writing
>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTCv6n1whoI23GmdBZienRW0Q0nFCU_ay Robert Butler
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6HOdHEeosc

Technical Aspects of Writing
>Garner's Modern English Usage, Garner
>What Editors Do: The Art, Craft, and Business of Book Editing, Ginna
>Artful Sentences: Syntax as Style, Tufte

Books Analyzing Literature
>Poetics, Aristotle
>Hero With a Thousand Faces, Campbell
>The Art Of Dramatic Writing: Its Basis in the Creative Interpretation of Human Motives, Egri
>The Weekend Novelist, Ray

Note to anyone posting a sample of your writing for critique:
>IF YOU HAVE NOT PERFORMED A CURSORY PROOFREAD, DO NOT EXPECT TO BE TREATED KINDLY. EDIT YOUR WORK FOR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR BEFORE POSTING.

Traditional Publishing
Pros:
>you get to focus mostly on writing
>you must write a proposal to the publishers and sell your story to them
>you make 10-15% profit max, but they also eat all the risk and the costs
>self publishing is basically like running your own company
>you only need to do some simple marketing and reach out to readers
Cons:
>you make 10-15% profit max
>self publishing you make 70%+
>they’ll still require you to do all the leg work of a self published author anyways

Self Publishing Options
>https://archiveofourown.org/
>https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/
>https://www.kobo.com/us/en/p/writinglife
>https://www.royalroad.com/
>https://www.scribblehub.com/
>https://www.wattpad.com/

Self Publishing How-To
>risky, but much more profitable
>you must pay for everything yourself
>if you do, you will spend more time on running a business than writing, but can be worth it
>https://selfpublishingwithdale.com/

Poetry
>This Craft of Verse, Borges
>The Poetry Home Repair Manual, Kooser
>Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry, Mason

Anime Writing (^･o･^)
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4on26mKakgs
>https://www.wikihow.com/Create-an-Anime-Story

For advertising
>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bQygKqJVFXg
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQygKqJVFXg

AI-generated book covers
>https://nightcafe.studio
>https://huggingface.co/spaces/dalle-mini/dalle-mini
>https://app.wombo.art/

/wg/ Authors and Flash Fiction Pastebin
>https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ

Other forums
>https://reddit.com/r/writing
>https://writing.stackexchange.com/

[Anonymous No.20506860]

Don't give up.
Don't allow sadness to crush your spirit.
Strive to make the art that will change it all.
Push back against the failure of culture to maintain its strength.
Drag it kicking and screaming with you, if you have to.
Feel pity if you must. Feel sadness, feel rage, feel hopeless, and feel fury. Then write.

[Anonymous No.20506863]

>>20506847
This must be it.
READ CHAPTER ONE OF MY DIAMOND DOZEN STORY PLEASE!!!

I NEED (You)s

[Anonymous No.20506861]

How can I write more like F Gardner?

[Anonymous No.20506876]

"I long to be free - desperately free. Free as the stillborn are free."

I think I'm losing it again, bros.

[Anonymous No.20506880]

>>20506863
Here's chapter 2.

[Anonymous No.20506894]

We can use this >>20506838
when this thread fills up

[Anonymous No.20506896]

>>20506876
Fuck, I even confused this thread with Write What's On Your Mind.

[Anonymous No.20506904]

Sources of people who came to my amazon page from a third party pixel.
199 sales now!
1 more baby 1 more lets gooo

[Anonymous No.20506915]

>>20506863
Keep in mind, this was the original.
Brevity is the soul of wit.

[Anonymous No.20506920]

>>20506889
>Note to anyone posting a sample of your writing for critique:
>IF YOU HAVE NOT PERFORMED A CURSORY PROOFREAD, DO NOT EXPECT TO BE TREATED KINDLY. EDIT YOUR WORK FOR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR BEFORE POSTING.

The problem with this is people's ideas of proofreading. There's a difference between posting literal unreadable garbage and making something that isn't perfect/reads like a novel.

rough drafts are supposed to be rough. I've seen people shit on people for not having novel like rough drafts. Imagine editing the fuck out of something just to find out it's trash and should be erased. People here should be more prepared to read rough drafts and not complete drafts.

[Anonymous No.20506925]

>>20506861
I understand that repeatedly bashing your forehead with a clay brick instills the essence of Gardner in one's soul.

[Anonymous No.20506933]

>>20506920
Someone mentioned adding that to the OP.
I agreed with the sentiment.
I get tired of people that care so little about their work that they leave in gigantic amounts of spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, yet expect us to care enough to critique it.
Try showing some pride of workmanship, people.
Even if it's only a little.

[Anonymous No.20506934]

>>20506920
It's fine to have a few grammar errors, but I'd you're not capitalizing the first letter in a sentence, format a proper conversation, or indenting then I'm not going to bother.

[Anonymous No.20506940]

>>20506915
i know i was the original author of that. But I wanted to expand the concept.

[Anonymous No.20506955]

>>20506940
Oh.
Well, keep it brief, then.
I don't think the idea will work if you expand it into a typically flaccid work of prose.
You need to keep it sparse and punchy.
Opinions may vary, but that's mine.

[Anonymous No.20506958]

>>20506860
Evening hopeanon.
>6 weeks into 2nd draft on a novel
>1st draft done on another
>almost finished reading all of Faulkner's short stories
>met someone with connections to screenwriters and NYC who was handed a bookdeal despite not being a writer, promised to help me after I teached the writing process earlier this week
Fuck doomposters I'm gonna write and self pub, RR or trad pub, literary or genre we can make it.

[Anonymous No.20506965]

>>20506958
Nice! Hope your connections work out for you!
Me...I'm just posting my stuff for free in public, as advertising.
People can buy some of it on Amazon if they want, but they're not required to.
At this early stage, becoming known is more important.

[Anonymous No.20506992]

>>20506965
Are you on the pastebin? Man I wanna know what the next literary piece this board publishes. I want to know what anons are working on even if they dont show the work. There's some older and thoughtful anons right?

[Anonymous No.20507000]

>>20506860
Fitzgerald, you have inspired me to continue to write my Adah story!

[Anonymous No.20507007]

Anyone know a thing about cologne?

What are some oldschool colognes older men might wear? An established brand that's been around for a while. Something that isn't too mainstream, but is still recognizable.

[Anonymous No.20507027]

My Diary Entry: For anyone that remembers it I'm still chipping away at the Elder Scrolls/Morrowind Era novel that started with the dinner party chapter I shared like 2 months back. At ~30k words and I'd guess a third of the way through.

Still enjoying it and I feel like the best parts are yet to come which is a first experience for me. Just honing the process until it was fun really worked for me and I can't imagine dropping it now, keep chugging gents.

[Anonymous No.20507030]

>>20506992
Picrel are some published pieces...self-published, mind you, but tradpubbing seems so insurmountable these days...

[Anonymous No.20507037]

>>20507007
Try a blog on cologne. Whenever I want to learn more for a new character I absorb ideas around where they would go or things they read, listen to.

[Anonymous No.20507039]

Could someone with a better science background than me express an opinion on this line:
>That meant foraging, and every alien plant would bring the threat of poisoning, assuming she and Madison even had the necessary enzymes to digest the local flora and fauna.
That's how it works, right? We have enzymes and they digest our food, right?

>>20507007
What decade was the character born in?

[Anonymous No.20507040]

>>20507027
Is this fanfic or gamelit, or something else?

[Anonymous No.20507050]

>>20507039
Gut bacteria, too.

[Anonymous No.20507057]

>>20507039
60's

[Anonymous No.20507060]

>>20507030
What happened to Card is he still writing? I know Woolston and Ma already published two books though I havent read the latter. I really wanna see Nesmer's next story and whatever Kit was working on, I think he's smart enough to do way better.

[Anonymous No.20507064]

>>20507039
This isn't what you asked for but you could also skip around this by saying
>assuming she and Madison could even digest the local flora and fauna

[Anonymous No.20507079]

[Anonymous No.20507083]

>>20507057
That means it was the 80s when he was in his 20s, which means he probably wears Obsession for Men, CK One or Drakken Noir.

>>20507064
Simple, elegant, I love it. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.20507160]

Agree or disagree?

[Anonymous No.20507161]

200 sales lets goooooooooooooo
If I can maintain any of these customers for book 2 my second launch is going to be wildly successful.
Only 3 reviews so far though. Is this normal?

[Anonymous No.20507166]

>>20507161
Nice, priced at what and where did you sell it?

[Anonymous No.20507175]

>>20507161
20 sales is already successful. What's your book about?

[Anonymous No.20507182]

>>20507160
I don't know...audiobooks are a thing.
Also, I read all my writing out loud.
It helps me to spot uneven flow, as well as inadvertent near-homonyms.

[Anonymous No.20507195]

>>20507040
Probably best categorized as tie-in fiction as it's in that setting but doesn't take place inside any game locations/directly tied to events and characters of them (besides a cameo).

It's 1st person with some Wodehouse/Flashman and Wolfe influences seeping in I suspect. I'm striving to make it a higher caliber of tie-in fic..

>>20507160
I could not agree more with it. Every line should be read out loud for flow during revision, don't make me sperg about tongue side preference again.

[Anonymous No.20507200]

>>20507166
$5.99 paperback and $1.99 an ebook.
>>20507175
A self help book.

[Anonymous No.20507209]

>>20507200
Amazon?

[Anonymous No.20507221]

>>20507209
Oh yes, Amazon exclusive

[Anonymous No.20507230]

Thing I did yesterday
https://pastebin.com/JSc0Fg1E

[Anonymous No.20507238]

>>20507200
>A self help book.
Really? What the heck do people need help with? I think I can write a Basic Economics and Personal Finance book.

[Anonymous No.20507242]

>>20507238
You just need one good piece of advice to sell a book, the rest of the book just builds on that advice, talks about exceptions to the rule, and generally rehashes the same shit over and over again.

[Anonymous No.20507248]

>>20507221
How much did it cost to produce all those books tho?

[Anonymous No.20507260]

>>20507200
I was thinking of writing a self-help book myself. Did you have to do much research on topics you wrote about? Did you do any marketing or promotion at all or were all of the sales just organic from amazon? How long did it take you to write it?

[Anonymous No.20507271]

>>20507007
My dad usually wore Black Suede.

[Anonymous No.20507276]

>>20507260
I picked a topic I was well versed in. You can tell when someone has recently researched something.
>>20507242
It cost me all of around $250 with editing being the largest and my cover coming from fiverr

[Anonymous No.20507303]

>>20507230
A bit confusing, but pleasantly weird.
Certainly a different take on what appears to be post-apocalyptic fantasy.
I hope you expand on it!

[Anonymous No.20507308]

>>20506958
>tfw working on a novel
>tfw considering learning how to make visual novels too
I have a lot of ideas that would work better with some sort of visual jokes and other nonsense.
The vn making software is free. Now I just gotta learn how to make shit in photoshop.

[Anonymous No.20507322]

The Paramount Halo show was so shit I'm convinced that I can do better, and I don't even consider myself that good.

[Anonymous No.20507351]

>>20507322
I, too, find myself inspired by sub-par works, and for the same reason.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 has been a great boon to my motivation.

[Anonymous No.20507372]

>>20507351
Currently working on a showdown between the Arbiter, Chief, Cortana, Halsey and Guilty Spark in the Control Room.

I concede that fanfiction is cringe, but I kind of want to prove my assertion I can actually do better.

[Anonymous No.20507381]

>>20507372
You can always post the fanfiction on one of those web-novel sites (e.g. RR, SH, WP, AO3) and use it to draw attention to your other writing.

[Anonymous No.20507390]

>>20507381
Thanks for the vote of confidence (?) I guess.

The more I think about it the more I think it's a shame no competent writer has ever gotten their hands on the Halo IP. The *potential* for a great story is actually there, but it's never, ever been realized and continually devolves into dudebro retard shooting gallery (Bungie) or anime-esque cringe (343).

[Anonymous No.20507407]

>>20507390
Then you can come out of nowhere and show 'em how it's done!

[Anonymous No.20507414]

>>20507407
Thx for the positivity anon

[Anonymous No.20507421]

>>20507083
Drakkar Noir was still popular in the 90s
t. someone who actually lived the decade

the bigger question is whether anyone remembers Tommy Hilfiger...?

[Anonymous No.20507428]

>>20507230
Really enjoyed this, the writing style pulled me through and felt like it captured the voice of a semi-feral 16 year old well. Enjoyed the weirdness and restrained scale

[Anonymous No.20507444]

>>20507421
Oh, I know. I was in my 20s in the 90s and I wore Drakken Noir.

[Anonymous No.20507455]

Started chapter 2 !
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17lyhWQgkKEI5SO9g4D6gtJSXAxjpsyHsZTdB9VZQkrQ/edit?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.20507460]

>>20507455
Discover paragraph breaks. They're awesome.

[Anonymous No.20507468]

>>20507460
Either you have unreasonable standards, or anon quickly added a bunch of paragraph breaks.

[Anonymous No.20507497]

>>20507468
This is not acceptable:
>Red light shimmered in the morning mist the sun’s rays broke over the jagged horizon. A translucent fog snaked around the To’ Nih Plateau like a river flows through its banks. The sun continued to rise passionate morning blossoms burst open to suck in the radiance as the nocturals returned to their burrows to slumber. Ostra tried to snort a string of snot running from his nose but it just got lodged in his nasal cavity. Plugging his left nostril he tried to blow the gunk out. The tickle in his nose, a sneeze preparing to erupt. “Ah!” Ostra’s internal struggles interrupted by the shifting of reeds. He adjusted his position on the heavy limb of the oak he perched in. His toes gripping the ridges of the rough bark, he raised his bow ever so slightly. The wisps and puffs of steam rose out in the high grass accompanied by faint snorts. He could just make out where the grass jostled. Time seemed to slow when the grass split about twenty strides out. Squatting down surefooted on the sturdy bough, Ostra drew the bow up, pulling back the nocked arrow, the curved horns of the Bovinbo pushed clear of the grass. It’s snout wiggling and snorting against the dirt. The drawstring was heavy, but Ostra held it, overworked back muscles shivering from the strain. He breathed out in a slow continuing stream. The broad side of the creature emerged and it let out a honk. An arrow jutted from the soft flesh betwixt the ribs.

It should be:
>Red light shimmered in the morning mist the sun’s rays broke over the jagged horizon. A translucent fog snaked around the To’ Nih Plateau like a river flows through its banks. The sun continued to rise passionate morning blossoms burst open to suck in the radiance as the nocturals returned to their burrows to slumber.
>Ostra tried to snort a string of snot running from his nose but it just got lodged in his nasal cavity. Plugging his left nostril he tried to blow the gunk out. The tickle in his nose, a sneeze preparing to erupt.
>“Ah!” Ostra’s internal struggles [were] interrupted by the shifting of reeds. He adjusted his position on the heavy limb of the oak he perched in. His toes gripping the ridges of the rough bark, he raised his bow ever so slightly.
>The wisps and puffs of steam rose out in the high grass accompanied by faint snorts. He could just make out where the grass jostled. Time seemed to slow when the grass split about twenty strides out. Squatting down surefooted on the sturdy bough, Ostra drew the bow up, pulling back the nocked arrow, [as] the curved horns of the Bovinbo pushed clear of the grass. It’s snout wiggling and snorting against the dirt. The drawstring was heavy, but Ostra held it, overworked back muscles shivering from the strain. He breathed out in a slow continuing stream. The broad side of the creature emerged and it let out a honk. An arrow jutted from the soft flesh betwixt the ribs.
And that's not even getting into the problems with the prose itself.

[Anonymous No.20507521]

>>20507497
there are minor issues but you are being a try-hard

[Anonymous No.20507529]

>>20507497
For my own sanity:
>The wisps and puffs of steam rose out in the high grass accompanied by faint snorts. He could just make out where the grass jostled. Time seemed to slow when the grass split about twenty strides out. Squatting down surefooted on the sturdy bough, Ostra drew the bow up, pulling back the nocked arrow, [as] the curved horns of the Bovinbo pushed clear of the grass. It’s snout wiggling and snorting against the dirt. The drawstring was heavy, but Ostra held it, overworked back muscles shivering from the strain. He breathed out in a slow continuing stream. The broad side of the creature emerged and it let out a honk. An arrow jutted from the soft flesh betwixt the ribs.

>Wisps of steam rose out in the high grass, accompanied by faint snorts. Ostra could just make out a rustle in the grass. Time seemed to slow as the curved horns of the bovinbo split the grass about twenty strides out. Squatting down surefooted on the sturdy bough, Ostra drew back an arrow. The bovinbo's snout wiggled as it sniffed the dirt. The drawstring was heavy, but Ostra held it, overworked back muscles aching from the strain. He breathed out in a slow, continuous stream. The creature emerged from the grass, exposing its broad sides, and let out a honk. Ostra let the arrow fly.

[Anonymous No.20507531]

>>20506860
>Don't give up.
>Don't allow sadness to crush your spirit.
>Strive to make the art that will change it all.
>Push back against the failure of culture to maintain its strength.
>Drag it kicking and screaming with you, if you have to.
>Feel pity if you must. Feel sadness, feel rage, feel hopeless, and feel fury. Then write.

[Anonymous No.20507536]

>>20507521
90% of all writing is crap. What separates the 10% is the care and attention to deal with the minor issues.

[Anonymous No.20507540]

>>20506847
So if RR shills here can't get this big, then should they give up? Even a guy in my country can do it.

[Anonymous No.20507553]

>>20507536
Post your published work

[Anonymous No.20507554]

>>20507529
Thanks I hate it

[Anonymous No.20507556]

>>20507540
No, this story is very inspirational.
I've completed another chapter of my LitRPG tonight, and am writing another.
I'm already serializing it on RR.
It's doing a lot better than I thought it would!
I aspire to Shirtaloon's success.

[Anonymous No.20507559]

>>20507497
It reads better like >>20507529 did it desu

[Anonymous No.20507561]

>>20507553
I'm sure anon's only published work is "seethe seethe whine bitch piss moan".

[Anonymous No.20507562]

>>20507497
Granted, it needs a lot of semi-colons; there are a number of run-on sentences.
And rivers flow between their banks, and through their beds.

[Anonymous No.20507573]

>>20507556
How many chapters do you have to initially put out? I have something that can be a bigger universe/series but I only have the prologue written.

[Anonymous No.20507586]

>>20507160
i force myself to read it out loud and check flow. you can find statements from agents/editors talking about this too

[Anonymous No.20507588]

>>20507562
Ill compromise will along

[Anonymous No.20507589]

>>20507553
>https://paizo.com/products/btpy98dj?Pathfinder-Chronicler-Anthology-Vol-3-Download
>"The Beast of Blackwater Bog"
Now you. Oh, what's that? Nobody has ever published anything you've written? Didn't think so.

>>20507559
>>20507497 (You)
It reads better like >>20507529 (You) did it desu
...I know?

[Anonymous No.20507591]

>>20507521
No dog in this fight but I was thinking recently about tryhard and its negative connotation. I was berating myself about being a tryhard about my writing at a party recently and I thought to myself, well, why shouldn't I try hard? Why am I talking down to myself for being a tryhard? And I think it comes from the society's current state of "take it easy and chill bro" where trying hard is seen as conformist and chasing a unicorn.
But if you really, genuinely, truly care about being a great artist someday, why wouldn't you try as hard as you can?

[Anonymous No.20507598]

>>20507573
It's my understanding that committing to a regular release schedule is more important than the number of chapters initially posted.
I'm releasing one per day; each is more than 1000 words.
But to make it easier on myself, and my readers, they tend to be less than 1500 words. A few go longer.
15 are released; I'm presently writing #25.
I'm trying to maintain a buffer.

[Anonymous No.20507609]

>>20507591
The point is when you try to hard to be perfect it comes off as artificial. Editing the grammar is necessary needs to be ruthless but the prose seems fine

[Anonymous No.20507610]

>>20507586
After my initial edit, I load each chapter into a voice to text program and listen to it at least once. I always catch a few places where I left a word out and usually find a few sentences that just don't flow for shit. My favorite part is always when the text reader hits some alien word I've made up or a bit of onomatopoeia and garbles it.

[Anonymous No.20507617]

>>20507589
No, we just asked you to post your published work.
But now that you have (which I'll assume for the sake of discussion)...
...what's with the seething?
You think a single published 5-page story gives you the right to look down at us?
It's Martin-pseud all over again.

[Anonymous No.20507624]

Emilyanon here.

Is it bad to do another edit on a book that's already published? New cover, new blurb, new edits.

or am I just wasting my time?

[Anonymous No.20507626]

>>20507617
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturgeon%27s_law

[Anonymous No.20507629]

>>20507624
I think you can just edit the book you submitted to Amazon.
I had to edit my first e-book after the formatting came across all messed up; it just had to be "approved" again, which it was.

[Anonymous No.20507630]

>>20507610
I did this I just wish the vtt would do a hundred thousand words so I can listen to it all together

[Anonymous No.20507634]

>>20507626
Sure, but one man's trash is another man's treasure.

[Anonymous No.20507643]

>>20507634
Yea did sturgeon read harry potter?

[Anonymous No.20507645]

>>20507634
So? Is that your goal? To be trash, in the hopes that it will appeal to people who like trash? All you're doing is defending being lazy and half-assing things. Which is fine, I guess, if your goal is to be mediocre. Which, I'd point out, doesn't really cut it in this game.

[Anonymous No.20507652]

>>20507645
Assuming everything is shit isnt going to make you better. Writing and practice does

[Anonymous No.20507654]

>>20507645
No, I'm simply pointing out two obvious facts:
1) No one thinks their work is crap.
2) You're not superior, Gailbraithe-Anon.

[Anonymous No.20507786]

>>20507652
Listen, retard, I'm the one in this argument arguing that becoming a decent writer requires practice and attention to detail. If you're arguing against me, you're assuming that effort and hard work are meaningless and that all writing is equally good no matter how little effort you put into it, because talent doesn't matter. If that's not your point, then don't fucking argue with me.

>>20507654
You're a fucking idiot. Jesus fucking Christ, why am I constantly plagued by shit-for-brains, sister-fucking products of inbreeding? Where do all you chowder-headed gigglefucks even come from and why won't you go back? For the love of all that is holy and good in this universe, please kill yourself so that the rest of us poor souls no longer have to be tortured by listening to your pointless, moronic and stupidity-inducing bullshit ever again, you fucking worthless pile of discarded condom wrappers.

1) Plenty of people think their work is crap. I think my work is crap. That's why my work is better than yours: I don't rest on my fucking ass and constantly try to improve myself so I won't feel like my writing is crap. I could write shit to rival Hemmingway and I'd still think it was crap. You know who is pleased with their work? LAZY INCOMPETENT SHITHEADS.

2) I never said I was superior, you pointless chucklefuck. I only said that some other anon could try harder. But, point of fact, I am fucking superior to your pointless, oxygen-wasting ass, you incorrectly sequester pile of carbon that could actually be serving a useful purpose if it wasn't in the shape of YOUR DUMB ASS.

[Anonymous No.20507809]

>>20507786
Durrr 90% of people suck at the thing they do? Damn you sure have a big brain to point that out. Ive never worked with other people before

[Anonymous No.20507812]

>>20507809
I was quoting Sturgeon's Law, you uncultured swine.

[Anonymous No.20507819]

>>20507812
>laws

[Anonymous No.20507827]

>>20507786
No...if we're arguing against you, we're arguing against your caustic, piss-poor attitude.
There's no reason to seethe against writers that are just as unknown as you are.
A 5-page short story nine years old, and fanfic twelve years old, does NOT make you superior.
Have you produced ANYTHING since then?

Play nice.

[Anonymous No.20507851]

>>20507827
Fuck off, you're the one with the caustic attitude, you insecure little shitstain. Dude posted something for critique, I made a one-line comment, and you got asshurt because you're a special snowflake who needs constant affirmation and the mere thought you could improve insults you. I didn't seethe against anyone, you fucking dishonest, lying ratfucking piece of crap.

Fucking kill yourself, you worthless pile of dogshit. You started a fight with me, don't fucking whine because I hit back, you fucking mewling pussy, Fuck. You are subhuman garbage and should put a bullet in your head, you worthless sack of shit. You're a useless fucking hypocritical asshole and you telling people to "play nice" is a fucking joke.

Seriously, fucking kill yourself, you subhuman cockroach. It is the only worthwhile thing a piece of shit like you will ever accomplish.

[Anonymous No.20507859]

What's a good ratio for entry fees to prize money offered? I'm guessing you should aim for around 0-5% of the prize money as a fee, because anything more than that is just throwing your money away. Less than a per cent of submissions will get accepted, and that's not even considering the quality. Something poorly written or unedited may have 0% chance.

[Anonymous No.20507861]

750 words tonight fellas. 750 God damn good words tonight. I think I finally got the theme I was missing out on paper, so now I have something I can retool the short story around. Tomorrow I write and post a flash fiction on my website and then I'll see if I can't finish this short story. The books are taking a little backseat right now, but one is ready to start advertisement so I better add a little time on that tomorrow, too.
We're all gonna make it if we persevere.

[Anonymous No.20507871]

What's a more sci-fi, futuristic reference for size than a breadbox or lunchpail? I want to convey that this object is the roughly the size of a lunchpail, but I feel like a person in the 26th century wouldn't have the first clue how big a lunchpail (or breadbox) is.

[Anonymous No.20507873]

>>20507851
>asshurt
Actually, I said this... >>20507561
And as you're repeatedly demonstrating, I wasn't far from the mark.
>rant rant rave rave kys
Who hurt you, anon?

[Anonymous No.20507884]

Do you guys write two or three different books at the same time. I do.
>one motorcycle club novel
>one kung fu novel

[Anonymous No.20507885]

>>20507873
I'm not answering your question, you trolling sack of garbage. Kill yourself. You are an anti-social creep who jerks off to the thought that other people find you annoying. You are worthless, subhuman garbage and will never have any value to me, this board, or the world at large. The only way a person like you can contribute to the betterment of the world is through self-anhilation. But useless, obnoxious little cunts like you never do anything of benefit to the rest of the world, so you'll just keep on preserving with your "being a useless twat" schtick and frustrating the rest of us reasonable, sociable adults.

Seriously, my man. A bottle of drain cleaner. Invest and drink up.

[Anonymous No.20507904]

>>20507885
Strong words, given that I didn't actually do anything.
You came out of nowhere and started seething, and are now projecting that onto others.
Literally no one has insulted you or been mean to you.
We were having a nice evening until you showed up.

[Anonymous No.20507905]

>>20507303
>>20507428
It's hard to balance weirdness with making things too obvious. I'm glad the basic idea got through. I rely on a lot of dialog, which sometimes makes things feel too much like a script.

[Anonymous No.20507907]

>>20507851
You talk like someone who has never been in an irl fight

[Anonymous No.20507913]

>>20507851
>I didn't seethe against anyone, you fucking dishonest, lying ratfucking piece of crap.
epic lack of self awareness

[Anonymous No.20507915]

>>20507904
Everything you will ever say is disingenuous bullshit because you do not respect yourself enough to communicate honestly with others. If you had an ounce of decency in you, you would already be dead.

>>20507907
Been in more of them than you, I'll wager.

[Anonymous No.20507921]

>>20507915
You've been in zero fights

[Anonymous No.20507924]

>>20507871
Presumably they still have toolboxes?

[Anonymous No.20507933]

>>20507907
Indeed...if he's itching for a fight, then he's never been in a real one.
Remember...as of 12 years ago, he was a thirty-four year old unpublished writer who lived alone with his small dog, and confessed to watching too much TV.
Not exactly a threatening archetype.

[Anonymous No.20507938]

>>20507921
I have been in dozens of fights. Far more than I can count.

>>20507933
Idiot logic.

[Anonymous No.20507941]

>>20507933

[Anonymous No.20507942]

I need to write a sex scene but I never had sex. How do I convince a girl to have sex with me?

[Anonymous No.20507944]

>>20507942
Tell her it's research for your book.

[Anonymous No.20507957]

>>20507938
Ooooh, you're such a toughie.
We'd be really impressed...if we were 10.
Can your dad beat up my dad too?
>idiot logic
Such solid oratorical skills.
Definitely the sign of a gifted writer.
Have you written ANYTHING in the last nine years?

[Anonymous No.20507959]

>>20507924
Thank you, anon, that's perfect. The character is even an engineer, so it's the perfect reference point for her.

[Anonymous No.20507963]

>>20507942
Hire some girl they are all whores

[Anonymous No.20507968]

>>20507941
And a collection of anime reaction images.
You're practically a gigachad.
Go write something for the first time in nearly a decade, and then come back.

[Anonymous No.20507971]

>>20507959
>girl
>engineer
Anon... i know your story takes place in the future, but after 10 million years, of evolution I doubt humans would drastically change that much.

[Anonymous No.20507973]

>>20507959
Glad I could help.

I've written ~3,200 words tonight...not bad after a typical soul-draining week of work.
I will now crash. Good night, all.

[Anonymous No.20507979]

>>20507971
>26th century
>10 million years
No...more like 500.
Throw in a minor societal collapse, and not much has to have changed.
Remember, Rome fell in 476, and we didn't re-attain that level of civilization until the mid-19th century.

[Anonymous No.20507981]

>>20507957
>Can your dad beat up my dad too?
Well, my dad is dead, so probably not. But he was a Green Beret, so...yeah, in his prime, he could probably have killed your dad in under 5 seconds with his bare hands. He also invented eco-terrorism. Pretty interesting guy, actually.

[Anonymous No.20507987]

>>20507971
She's a hydroponics engineer. Basically a glorified gardener and part-time plumber. It's not like she's designing spaceships. It's science fiction, not fantasy.

[Anonymous No.20507990]

>>20507981
Wow...you're trying WAY too hard.
But thanks for the chat...you've managed to bore me into submission.
I'll sleep soundly now.
Go write something new. It's been too long.

[Anonymous No.20507991]

>>20507981
Did he work at halo?

[Anonymous No.20507992]

>>20507987
Kek

[Anonymous No.20507998]

>>20507991
I don't know what that is.

[Anonymous No.20508003]

>>20508000
Just gonna link this here so I don't repost it everywhere. Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous No.20508014]

>>20507987
I bow to your foresight and grounded writing.

[Anonymous No.20508029]

>>20508003
You sound smart enough to be a good judge of that. These guys will rip it apart if its bad

[Anonymous No.20508035]

>>20507981
>my dad invented eco-terrorism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eco-terrorism
so he lived in france in 1827?

[Anonymous No.20508037]

>>20507786
>You know who is pleased with their work? LAZY INCOMPETENT SHITHEADS.
Case in point: Patrick Tomlinson

basically writing is 10% talent 90% dedication

[Anonymous No.20508044]

>>20508003
I agree with the other anon, you seem to be putting enough thought into the idea that you could pull it off. The trickiest part will be doing the transitions as he gets drunk and loosens up.

[Anonymous No.20508049]

>have read draft about 900 times
>found a typo of "they" instead of "then"
is it possible to be rid of them all or do they spontaneously generate in the other window while i'm sinning to pornography
>>20507942
have se--
>how
/fit/ and take autism suppressors

[Anonymous No.20508054]

>>20508049
Same ill read it but then completely miss it a hundred times

[Anonymous No.20508073]

>>20508035
No, I mean the movement of environmentally motivated criminal sabotage that lead to coining of the term "eco-terrorism," not backwards looking attempts to invent a history.

The modern eco-terrorism movement originates with Earth First!, whose founder -- Dave Foreman -- said he was inspired by Ed Abbey's The Monkey Wrench Gang, which is rather infamously something of a how-to manual on "eco-terrorism." Ed and my dad were good friends up until Ed published TMWG, which deeply offended my dad, because he (along with mutual friend Doug Peacock) was the inspiration for Ed's character George Hayduke, the insane, violently drunk anarchist and former Green Beret who teaches the gang everything he knows about sabotage. George looks like Doug, a short, stocky, pug ugly man, but his background and personality are 100% my dad. Ed didn't think anyone would buy George as a character if he looked like my dad, who was an absurdly good-looking dude. Like a silver Tom Selleck. Dad really didn't like seeing himself in print and they stopped being friends for a few years until Ed did an interview in which he made it clear that George was based on Doug and my dad allowed himself to believe it.

Anyways, everything Ed knew about eco-terrorism he learned from my dad, who was demolitions engineer. Remember, the Green Berets whole purpose is to go in-country, meet up with local guerilla groups, and train them in counterrevolutionary sabotage. What we call modern eco-terrorism is actually just Green Beret sabotage tactics developed to help Laotians fight the NVA applied to fighting urban sprawl and exploitation of wild spaces.

Thus, my dad invented eco-terrorism. And could have killed your dad with his bare hands in the blink of an eye.

[Anonymous No.20508120]

>>20508073
Your dad can eat my shorts

[Anonymous No.20508273]

Can I get some help with the plot of my story? I'm good with language and prose but really suck at finding anything compelling to move the story along..
>small Australian town
>young character is a gardener, trainee
>old man character is his employer, small business owner
>perspective shifts back and forth between each character
>each has their own opinion about the other, and it is mostly negative/typical of generational perspectives - i.e. boomers bad! gen z lazy!
>perspective always shifts between characters through descriptions and events of the small town
>both find their way to the local pub on main street, where it turns out they drink together every Friday afternoon
>perspective shifts to a more neutral narrator documenting their conversation, a lot more dialogue
>as it turns out, they're basically friends but would not admit it/don't even realise
>...
>...
I need more to drive the ending home but I can't think of anything meaningful...

[Anonymous No.20508284]

>>20508273
Alien invasion. They have to set aside their differences and team up to fight gross bug monsters.

[Anonymous No.20508287]

>>20508284
Can we add a third perspective? I think the audience would like to know what the dog thinks of each of them.

[Anonymous No.20508307]

>>20508287
The dog can sniff out people who've been brain jacked by aliens. That's how they know they're both kosher. The old guy has to say, 'If you're all right by Poochie, you're all right by me.'

[Anonymous No.20508344]

>>20506847
>”Welcome. Did you find the office well?” I ask. “Take the lift, did you? I take all fifty flights of stairs to, you know, keep my heart pumping.”
>”Well, I found it alright, Mr Anon. It’s a lovely establishment you have here.”
>”Sit down on the Turkish divan and take a Cuban from the box on the desk. Yeah, that’s it. Get comfortable. Why are you here again, kid?”
>”Sir, I’m here to see if I’m a good fit for an internship.”
>”That’s right. And what do you expect to do here in the internship?”
>”I, uh, well, edit and help compile books, sir.”
>”See that paper weight on that stack of papers?”
>”Uh, yeah sir.”
>”Read the letters on it. What does it say?”
>”Um, 1 kilo.”
>”Go on.”
>”Uh, 999.9?”
>”What else?”
>”Fine gold.”
>”What do you think that means?”
>”That, uh, you’re rich, sir?”
>”It means…" I say with a dramatic pause, pulling from my Armani suit's pocket a cigar. "You’re gonna make it with me."
>I place the cigar in my mouth, light it with a gilded jet lighter, and look up at the kid, who anxiously puffs and coughs on his own cigar.
>"Oh, gee, thanks, Mr Anon."
>"This manuscript underneath the gold bar," I point at it. "Place the gold bar in your pocket. That's your payment. Then throw the manuscript into the furnace over there."
>"Uh, okay. But should I read it first?"
>"Why would you?"
>"Oh, no reason," he hesitates. "Was it an unsolicited submission?"
>"No. I contacted a Poet Laureate," I explained. "And this was something he wrote purposefully for our publishing house. But throw it out."
>He did as I said, pulling the tiny, infernal mouth open to throw in the bundle of papers. Smoke filled the room momentarily, until he sealed it shut.
>"Did you not like it?" he asked as he sat back down on the divan.
>"I didn't read it," I said and smiled.
>His wide-eyed shock made me laugh.
>"That's how we do business here, kid. We gotta keep the writers on their toes and pumping out manuscripts with more gusto. He took too long, you see. I'm an impatient man."

[Anonymous No.20508421]

>>20507871
A lunch box is one of the few things that wouldn't change size. People gotta eat. They can only eat so much in one sitting. Bang. Lunchbox.

[Anonymous No.20508433]

>>20507540
>>20507556
The secret seems to be the ability to pump out daily chapters. More chapters is more clicks. More clicks is better ranking. Better ranking is better visibility. There's a snowball effect.

[Anonymous No.20508464]

Would my readers be suspicious of my racial beliefs if a character in my story were to title a conflict as a “Racial Holy War” even if it’s a very accurate description of it?

[Anonymous No.20508475]

>>20507556
Jeez
.. 200k a month. Why am I even wasting time writing a historical fiction?

[Anonymous No.20508488]

Eurofag during the summer.

[Anonymous No.20508510]

>>20508421
Sure, but they would fall out of use. They've almost entirely fallen out of use already, and in a universe where all blue-collar work is done by robots and most people eat processed bug protein out of self-heating, disposable containers, it just wouldn't be the goto reference.

[Anonymous No.20508534]

>>20508475
That's probably patreon + a new release on amazon. Limited time gains, but still awesome.

[Anonymous No.20508571]

The continuation of my magnum opus.
Blue line denotes when the newly added section begins.
https://files.catbox.moe/89tq3b.pdf

[Anonymous No.20508641]

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/54765/symbiosis/chapter/924883/ghost-in-the-shel

I may change the chapter title, but it strangely works considering the Symbiote's soul traded one shell for another. Formatting will be fixed once I'm no longer in a caravan in Wales.

[Anonymous No.20508651]

>>20507039
Enzymes break the food down, but acid is what kills the bacteria.

[Anonymous No.20508696]

>>20506860
The hope

its

its WORKING

I CAN FEEL IT

[Anonymous No.20509002]

>>20507851
Why so mad

[Anonymous No.20509013]

>>20509002
My three least favorite things in the world are hypocrisy, disingenuity, and people who think it's "funny" to aggravate and annoy other people while feigning politeness or pretending to be reasonable.

If this weren't the internet, I would stab them in the face. Useless fucking subhumans.

[Anonymous No.20509014]

>>20509013
Have you stabbed people in the face before bro

[Anonymous No.20509024]

I have no fucking clue why I keep sharing my first drafts with people acting they are master would or something.

I'm a dumbass How do I stop doing this?

[Anonymous No.20509029]

>>20508344
This would be a tragedy before they invented the save button

[Anonymous No.20509036]

How do I stop sharing first drafts like a dumbass acting like they're masterworks or something.

[Anonymous No.20509042]

Pro tip: work a third shift job

[Anonymous No.20509043]

>>20509014
He hasn't even been in a fight

[Anonymous No.20509044]

>>20509036
yeah you need to get your head straight - you should not be having that problem. most people live in fear of someone seeing their first draft, because they know how much work needs to be done to it and how shit it really is to begin with. if you are sharing first drafts, I would question what your motivations for writing are - does some part of you get really eager to show people how smart/talented you are? I'm not judging you, it's common for a lot of young writers. You need to start learning that the process is all for the sake of the process itself and that producing a terrible product in the end is its own reward, the repeat that cycle 1000 times until you have actually done something that would be worth sharing.

[Anonymous No.20509050]

>>20509024
>>20509036
That's a nice way of getting your point across I suppose.
Which story was yours? The horse one? That one seems pretty well edited.

[Anonymous No.20509052]

>>20509036
You want insight its not that bizarre to think its already perfect

[Anonymous No.20509095]

I posted this short introduction to a story here before but people were so apalled by my narration in first person in colloquial language that they refused to read it, so I rewrote the entire thing with a the bit of feedback I had gotten.
https://pastebin.com/Nk6rVCcg
Hope you can give me some feedback on the characters, world, setting, pace and so forth.

[Anonymous No.20509185]

>>20509014
Not in the face, no. I did once stab a kid in the hand with a pencil though.

[Anonymous No.20509233]

>>20509095
1/????
Okay, I'm getting nowhere with my own bullshit but I don't want to turn off completely for the day, so I'm going to procrastinate by digging into your shit. I might get pedantic at times since I'm going to critique based on your writing, but also just on my own personal taste - so it may seems schizophrenic and in bad faith at times but just take it for what it is. If it seems obvious to you that I'm not getting something, then fuck you, I'm you're reader and I'm dumb.

>a boy named Derrick was walking home from school
just say "Derrick was walking home from school", he's going to be our main perspective so familiarise us with him ASAP - "a boy named" puts distance between us and inserts your voice more than it needs to be.

>Normally, that would be an easy task, but as the motions of the outside cosmos would steer his luck, he passed over in a rare event that had not taken place in centuries. The fates further conspired to make sure the boy did not notice his cosmic misstep for quite some time. There had been a dirt path in a forest in his own world and there was a dirt path in a forest in this new one as well.
There's got to be an easier way to say this. I get that you're trying to explain a lofty dual reality/dimension type of concept, but it doesn't mean you get to waffle on about it - you're the expert so you need to come to us with a clear explanation of what's going on. Maybe think back on Stephen King's The Dark Tower series, he has all sorts of crazy shit going on regarding alternate universes but you get the feeling when you're reading it that he is very much the authority on that whole universe, and everything he says goes and you're totally along for the ride.

Try this:

This would not be unusual for Derrick in any other circumstance, but, as it happened, there were certain cosmic forces at play that evening in the forest, and without ever realising, Derrick had wandered into a strange phenomenon centuries in the making. Things were awfully different now. There had been a dirt path in the forest in Derrick's world, and there was a dirt path in this new world, as well.

>It was irrelevant which direction he took, for the right one was of an inconceivable dimension to him.
It made no matter now what direction he took, because he had become entirely lost in space.

[Anonymous No.20509245]

>>20509095
>>20509233
2/????
>Two days in this foreign world went by during which the boy sleps under branches broken from the trees and continued his search for his path home, walking up and down the dirt path many times. He drank from a stream and ate little if any, only what people on the cobblestone road were willing to give him for free.
So far this story is having little to no impact and this line for me really drives that feeling home. You sort of note how things are different but not, the same but different, a fantasy world and Derrick is cruising through thinking it all quite strange and getting queer looks. This is a kid who evaporated into a new dimension. There should be more to tackle here in terms of characterising Derrick. I understand your style of storytelling is very storyteller-esque and there is a fairy tale narrative that you're using, but it still feels very inconsequential, and then all of a sudden he's just camping out for 2 days? What is he thinking? You may have other intentions for why it is this way, but they aren't clear either.

>He was short in stature, his nose big and long, his hair only a crown of white around his shining, bald head.
>The apprentice, roughly the boy’s age with a dark complexion and brown hair, broad shoulders and arms like steel ropes
>The boy saw a man in a dark red robe with long sleeves. He had black hair and a short, black beard, both were groomed neatly.

most dialogue is chill, he's meeting characters and etc. but one thing I notice: when you introduce characters, their long noses, their sinewy arms, you don't have to describe them in the literary tone of lists, marking their characteristics, using commas between each breath, describing their hair, their clothes, as you can see, this gets boring, and oftentimes the reader will just imagine characters in their own head without descriptors... Personally, I don't describe characters at all anymore. I just name them. If you must, just point out one characteristic.

>"I thought he once said he doesn’t want any more apprentices."
>"I didn’t know he can afford a bookkeeper!"
Just off a little bit. There's the slightest bit of clunk to your dialogue that kind of rings through, reminds me it's being written by a young man.
"I thought he said he didn't want any more apprentices?"
"I didn't know he could afford a bookkeeper"

[Anonymous No.20509251]

>>20509095
>>20509245
3/4
>The boy, being well read in his old world, remembered the queen of the fairies from Shakespeare's work.
Lol don't do this you cheeky cunt. Allude to it more gently. I don't think you ever say of a character: "being well read, he.." just a bit cringe.

>"I mean, she was the last Greatqueen.”
>“Come on, now, everyone knows what a Greatqueen or Greatking is!”
>“Well, it’s a monarch that has united all realms that branch off their own. Titania ruled over several dozen realms. It was around a thousand years ago.”
A bit sit-commy and highly expositional. No one likes a lore dump, and yet, it's hard to respect this quick little snippet as well. At least get comprehensive with your own worldbuilding, or like with my very first point, you need to find a more assured explanation/voice for the reader - in the first case the trouble was that you spent too much time waffling about the tree and the forest blah blah, but here it seems like you kind of don't know how to fully put it into words and I'm just getting something quick and easy.

>le evil magician man starts attacking the please m'lord! peasant man in the street
Righto I might have to knock off here. I'm not much of a fantasy guy but this is beginning to bore me.

>“Then why did the guards just let him leave?”
>“Probably because they were afraid of him.”
>The boy nodded. He had to agree to that sentiment, the magician seemed entirely unconcerned with the life and death of others. The guards arrived at the scene. They appeared entirely overwhelmed with the task at hand.
>“Why do they look so stumped by all of this?”
>“I don’t think we ever had someone being killed like this as long as I can remember. And the fact that a magician did it... it is all just so odd. What would you do?”
This all just feels flat and somehow disembodied. Did not some poor cunt just get his heart fucking murdered out of his chest by a golden sword and a maniac? Don't get me wrong, that sort of energetic and emotional dialogue is a challenge for anyone to write, but you have decided to open your story in what would be the first 3 or 4 pages with a brutal murder like that so you need to be equipped to give it the impact it requires.

[Anonymous No.20509252]

>>20509095
This doesn't feel like a short introduction to a story. Lines 1 - 19 could be the first chapter or even several chapters of a story, but are hurried over in summary. Then with line 21, things zoom in and slow down to the dialogue level, which you then use to deliver a lot of exposition. Way too much exposition. It's not engaging. There's a kernal of something there, and with a lot of work you could potentially turn this into a story, but you're going to need to learn a lot of storycraft first.

Also it's very strange that you constantly refer to Derrick as "they boy," as if we don't know his name.

[Anonymous No.20509253]

>>20509095
>>20509251
4/4
Okay, I'm going to stop there. I wasn't here in the first thread when you got torn to shreds so I'm not actually out for blood. Criticism is important so you should let it roll off your back a little if you get dogpiled in these threads it has happened to literally everyone. All in all, it's clear that you do have an obvious vision for the world you're writing about and occasionally small hints of your mastery over the universe bleed through and there is an authority in the tone of your narrator, but then that slips away quickly. It's good to see how much of it you've written but there is a long way to go, and I'm not sure from what's here that you have the firepower to back it all up. I suggest you pull back and begin focusing on short stories more. Quieter, smaller concepts that you can get a hold over. You need to be able to write with a clear confidence that you know exactly what is happening, and that needs to pull the reader along into your world and not your "piece of work". As it is right now, this whole thing has YOU all over it in the worst kinds of ways. But don't feel bad - that's the problem everyone has. Just keep at it you show a lot of promise.

[Anonymous No.20509269]

>>20508464
The only way readers get suspicious of author beliefs bleeding into things is if one side is constantly presented and then defended, especially by strawman arguments. I know moral grayness is all the rage right now, but some black and white morality checks from either side that comes from a difference in core value systems can be extremely good at hiding author beliefs.

[Anonymous No.20509271]

>>20508641
You have to 100% change the title

[Anonymous No.20509280]

I like to write poems, to the point I can’t stop.

I don’t really ‘get’ poems when I read them though. The flow of words never correlates correctly in my head so when I read them it just sounds flat.

Is there something about prose I will just never understand?
The only poem that’s ever moved me emotionally is the red wheelbarrow, and that’s only because it was read aloud by a character in a tv show.

[Anonymous No.20509294]

>>20509280
poetry makes zero sense to me

[Anonymous No.20509301]

>>20509294
See, I feel it within me.
Versed intuition.
It lifts me.
The structure they cling to.
It is not me.

[Anonymous No.20509379]

>>20509301
Poetry
seams
of words
no point
only cringe

[Anonymous No.20509401]

>>20506880
>>20506863
Aw... Not even a single critique all day... I'll never become a better writer now. Did I reach my peak already?

[Anonymous No.20509404]

>>20509271
Changed it to something that still fits. I only chose that because it kind humorously fits how Sekai moved from one "shell" to another. But yeah, better to be safe than sorry

[Anonymous No.20509461]

>>20509401
hard to critique someone better than me. i would say "visually annoyed" is telling and could be removed

[Anonymous No.20509519]

>>20506863
>A candle flickered in the center of the room extending the shadows of the umbrous figures around the table. Cloaks masked their faces. The masked men place their hands on the round table.
There are prose equivalents to enjambment in poetry that's needlessly disruptive to flow. Robbe-Grillet would be a good reference for descriptive terseness you're opening with here.

>>20507160
>Finnegans Wake
All texts used to be reading-aloud texts. The dialogue at least should have a sonorant quality.

>>20507497
>Red light shimmered in the morning mist; the sun’s rays broke over the jagged horizon in the translucent fog snaked around the To’ Nih Plateau as a river flows past its banks. The sun continued to rise-- passionate morning blossoms burst open to suck in the radiance as the nocturnals returned to their burrows to slumber.

>>20508273
Things about the old timer's youth seep in around the edges of the conversation, perhaps relating to town history. Was he in Vietnam? What is he learning from the old timer? Is the younger disaffected from current year drug/tik tok ect. debasement?

>>20509280
>kinda engaging, for that sort of poem
It's a music thing. Learn the stress/meter notation and practice on a few and try to read them aloud. Beats & pauses, and stresses. If you run out of breath or speed run it, something's off.

[Anonymous No.20509561]

>>20508696
Then I've done my good deed for the day.

[Anonymous No.20509589]

>>20506860
Thank you anon
Thank you

[Anonymous No.20509653]

Oh my goodness I'm awake. It's time to write. So exciting.

[Anonymous No.20509666]

>>20509653
Indeed. I love weekends.
No day job to suck the life out of me.
I'm reviewing what I added in the last few days, making little edits, then it'll be time for new chapters!

[Anonymous No.20509698]

>>20506880
A few jokes are amusing but nothing that's making me laugh out loud. The "knot" joke was good

[Anonymous No.20509703]

Eurofag's internet has like 1 bar of speed barely streaming 144p video while mine has up to 5 bars and can stream 4k video.

[Anonymous No.20509712]

Eurofag: has only one small tiny coffee shop and dirty farmers in his town.
American badass: Has a freaking Wendy's, Mcdonald's, Subway, Groccery store, gas stations, and so on.

[Anonymous No.20509722]

any /fit/ anons who go for runs to visualize their story?

[Anonymous No.20509726]

>>20509461
But you're still a reader. That in itself would work as a critique.
>>20509519
Thank you, I'll delete the cloak sentence, that seems to be the problem
>>20509698
Hmmm...

[Anonymous No.20509791]

>>20509722
I go for walks, usually. The quiet scenery is usually enough to get me into a writing mood.

[Anonymous No.20509809]

>>20507540
thanks, i'm going to read it

[Anonymous No.20509844]

>>20509253
>>20509252
See, that's feedback I can actually work with, thanks mate for the extensive thread

[Anonymous No.20509908]

>>20507030
>>20507540
Can someone point me in a good direction for understanding litRPG for the first time.
I only played fallout3, I'm more of a city builder player.

[Anonymous No.20509912]

>>20509908
Dragon quest, but with descriptions of leveling. Just watch a few random Isekai anime not named Tanya the Evil in recent years.

[Anonymous No.20509914]

here's a list of litRPG tropes

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/BasedouWantTo/WriteALitRPG

[Anonymous No.20509927]

>47k words by the point where the slavers kidnap one of the main cast
at this rate I'll end up having like 60-70k words for what I plan to be the introductory arc of my new book, prolly gonna pub it on jewmazon if it turns out a nice convenient length

[Anonymous No.20509933]

I've got a problem bros. I'm writing about an artsy college student who smokes clove cigarettes and watches old films and I'm craving a cigarette now. I quit smoking a while ago.

[Anonymous No.20509941]

>>20509927
>30k words and I'm in the final arc of my book. Fuck it's going to be too short

[Anonymous No.20509956]

>>20509941
How much happens in the book?
Could be a pacing issue. I tend to write very in the moment, even more so when it comes to combat, so my word counts get pretty up there even for in-story timespans of a couple days if there's a lot of shit going on.

[Anonymous No.20509961]

>>20509914
>>20509912
Thanks.
What else is selling well these days?

[Anonymous No.20509963]

>>20509956
>>20509941
alternatively you could just think of a continuation and staple it to the end of the first book to make one larger work

[Anonymous No.20509997]

>>20509933
smoke a pipe

[Anonymous No.20510005]

Ostra collapsed to his knees when he heard the rattling of the village shakers. He could not recall ever being this exhausted. His muscles were so overworked that it hurt to breathe. His hands and feet bled from dragging and his shoulders were raw from the rope. He was covered in blood and salt; his hair was sodden, twisted into a tangled mess. His vision was bleary and there was a throbbing about his head. A strong arm hooked under his shoulder lifting him to his feet. “You sure made this quite a challenge!” Ostra let himself be picked up too disoriented to respond.
“Tasa take him to Kamaara for healing. Migiha and Tonzul grabbed the bundles Ostra returned.”
The commands faded as Ostra was led pass a creek. Tasa was saying something but Ostra could not hear him. Darkness enveloped him as an assortment of smells barraged his nose. The smell of sweet gum and sage with vapors of cinnamon and lavender filled his head and he started to doze off. Ostra was jolted awake floundering around in a viscous liquid. He was able to plant his feet and realize he was in Karaama’s bath. He was surrounded by chiseled stone adorned with oil paintings of animals at rest with a wide red-orange sun embracing them with color. The bath was warm with lipid cream swirls of coarse salts that stung his wounds but then faded. Exhaustion won out and Ostra let himself be immersed in the sweet waters.

[Anonymous No.20510019]

Do you guys write your stories in the past tense?

[Anonymous No.20510029]

>>20510019
yes clearly

[Anonymous No.20510040]

>>20509961
erotica sells the most
romance is second
mysteries are third
thrillers are fourth
mostly women read romance

[Anonymous No.20510044]

>>20510040
constant sex ruins 90% of books i read

[Anonymous No.20510070]

>>20509933
Chew gum

[Anonymous No.20510071]

>>20510019
Always

[Anonymous No.20510104]

>>20510040
Makes sense. I really do wonder if I could write some smutty clit lit. I have to research the genre. Off to z-lib I go.
>LitRPG
I'm also wondering if there could be a book combining LitRPG with city builders and turn it towards a utopian tale. Sort of a political/societal sub-genre. What happens if a _____ takes over a town and it has city builder game mechanics.

[Anonymous No.20510110]

>>20510005
Wax candles flickered and melted on the stone shelves while lilies and hibiscus flowers floated in a tranquil spiral. The raw skin and blisters soaked and the dead skin broke off while the new skin congealed. Ostra floated in a state of ambient bliss with his eyes closed. He steadied himself in the milky bath so that he bobbed at a bare minimum. It was a state that felt like no other as the sensation of liquid disappeared as if he floated through the stars.

[Anonymous No.20510118]

First time writer here, I never read an actual book, only light novels and manga. I want to write a story I have in mind, but I have no idea how to start. I don't want it to be overly complex, my magnum opus or anything, I just want to be able to tell the story in a decent way. The thing is, how do I know if I'm getting ahead of myself and overcomplicating things?

For example, there's this character which goes through an arc of revenge and all that stuff, but he starts to lose "gas" when he starts taking care of a certain kid, the thing is, someone else who is going through a similar arc is set on killing him and is only when said character gets pardoned by someone going through a similar situation that his arc is actually finished. I don't know if I should write this in my current level, I don't know if I'm overcomplicating it or not. Am I overthinking this? Should I just shut up and write?

[Anonymous No.20510140]

>>20510118
you need to write a sample, anyone can come up with a good plot but the prose is what makes it engaging. I would say avoid multiple perspectives and dont make it too epic in scope or you will burnout

[Anonymous No.20510148]

>>20510110
>disappeared [feeling] as if he floated through the stars.

[Anonymous No.20510151]

Death who art haught, the wretched’s remedy,
Grace! Grace! hands joined I do beseech it thee,
Come, see and conquer for worse things on me
Are launched by love. My senses that did live,
Consumèd are and quenched, and e’en in this place
Where I was galliard, now I see that I am.
Fallen away, and where my steps I misplace,
Fall pain and grief; to open tears I nigh am.
And greater ills He’d send if greater may be.
Sweet Death, now is the time thou may’st avail me
And snatch me from His hand’s hostility.
Ah wow! how oft I cry “Love tell me now:
Why dost thou ill only unto thine own,
Like him of hell who make the the damned groan?”

[Anonymous No.20510161]

>>20510140
>I would say avoid multiple perspectives
I was about to correct my first post to ask about this too

Thanks anon. I will start making a sample asap, all I have right now are notes scattered around

[Anonymous No.20510168]

>>20510151
nice

[Anonymous No.20510182]

>>20510168
It's Shakespeare

[Anonymous No.20510189]

>>20510182
It’s Guido Cavalcanti lol.

[Anonymous No.20510211]

>>20510161
some tips
-stick to just using said but you should write clear enough that you dont need to use "he said"
-avoid too many state-of-being verbs
-avoid too many adverbs
-dont overexplain

[Anonymous No.20510253]

>>20510005
There's a lot to recommend your writing and I even called a passage beautiful before, but I'm not reading another thing you post until you take the advice about paragraph breaks you've received from multiple anons to heart

>>20510118
>Should I just shut up and write?
Yes, and you desperately need to read more. Read widely from different genres and writtin in different time periods as well.

[Anonymous No.20510274]

werewolves are boring
where’s the werebear, werehorse, werefish, weresnake, etc. stories?

[Anonymous No.20510284]

>>20510274
I don’t know, probably in a DnD story.

[Anonymous No.20510287]

>>20510253
Im working on it. Growing up i was forced to write longer paragraphs by teachers, when i see a paragraph thats only 3-5 sentences i feel like its inadequate. Also it doesnt seem so dense in my doc

[Anonymous No.20510289]

>>20510274
You write it. I want a wearhuman. Where a horny cockroach transforms into a human to plant his seed inside unsuspecting females. Of course being a cockroach, he is only attracted to the filthiest and most disgusting of women. Be sure to name him Gregory

[Anonymous No.20510294]

>>20510289
but gregory was a dung beetle

[Anonymous No.20510310]

>>20510253
does this look better?
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17lyhWQgkKEI5SO9g4D6gtJSXAxjpsyHsZTdB9VZQkrQ/edit?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.20510312]

>>20510289
I would write this myself but I'm stuck writing my Diamond Dozen story. Ideas are really a diamond dozen in this doggy dog world

[Anonymous No.20510329]

>>20509908
LitRPG and GameLit are two separate things.
As usual, Wikipedia is your friend.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LitRPG

[Anonymous No.20510331]

>>20507160
I thought NPCs were a joke, but here we have this bitch.
She creates a dichotomy of "read vs listened" as if she doesn't have an inner monologue reading things for her?

Do these people just skim pages and absorb text while brain is in complete silence on shutdown?

[Anonymous No.20510336]

>>20510104
You can write ANYTHING you want.
No need to conform to genre.
Start your own genre!

[Anonymous No.20510337]

>>20510331
I don’t get internal monologue at all. Not even with thinking my own thoughts. Not everyone has the same experience as you, anon.

[Anonymous No.20510338]

>>20510118
Read more, and consider starting with short stories.
No need to overchallenge yourself.

[Anonymous No.20510349]

>>20510294
Stop imposing roles on Gregory!
Let him he who he self-identifies to be!
Or just call him Grigorin or something.

[Anonymous No.20510352]

>>20510331
The very first step in the Evelyn Wood speed-reading course is to stop reading with an inner monologue.
Nothing "shutdown" about it.

[Anonymous No.20510359]

>>20510352
>>20510337
NPC

[Anonymous No.20510361]

>went on a walk to brainstorm some ideas
>thought about >>20507540 and becoming a millionaire from my writing instead
If I finish a book ahead of time, completely, and post it all in chapter form over several weeks, how long do I have to post the next novel before the cash cow runs dry and flees somewhere else?

[Anonymous No.20510374]

>>20510359
>can't even consider that there are other experiences beyond his own
Stop writing, give up. You have no hope as an actual NPC.

[Anonymous No.20510379]

>>20510359
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pristine-inner-experience/201110/not-everyone-conducts-inner-speech

[Anonymous No.20510409]

>>20510379
No shit, everyone knows most people are NPCs. That's why the meme happened.
Maybe I'll write a story about an NPC coping with the "realization" that a friend of theirs has inner monologue

[Anonymous No.20510414]

This time last year I would never have considered writing and now I fucking love it. Writing is fun, bros.

[Anonymous No.20510443]

>>20510329
>"Many of the post-2014 writers in this field insist(...)"
No one cares, they're the same shit

[Anonymous No.20510444]

>>20510104
they're called dungeon core stories.you should probably read a few stories from the genre you're trying to break into

[Anonymous No.20510450]

>>20510444
City/Empirebuilder stories are distinct from Dungeon Core stories, but both are those super specific subgenres

[Anonymous No.20510457]

>>20510409
None of us ever said we don't have an inner monologue of some sort.
I just said I don't use it when reading.

[Anonymous No.20510467]

Is it bad to allow yourself to "stew" for a little while you know take a week or two to process what you want next for your story then add it

or should you just force yourself to write and not waste time?

[Anonymous No.20510495]

>>20510361
Nobody knows. If I ever make it that big I'm ditching you assholes and just bask in my millions

[Anonymous No.20510499]

>>20510450
Sometimes, yeah. But dungeon core stories usually have a game-interface and rule system for building stuff, making them overlap with litRPG. City builders sometimes do. I don't know. I haven't read many of those.

[Anonymous No.20510501]

>>20510467
Don't force your muse.
Write when you feel like it.
Maybe write something else meanwhile.
There's no need to write only one thing at a time.

[Anonymous No.20510510]

>>20510495
You'll be back.

[Anonymous No.20510530]

>>20510361
That dude isn't just writing a 'book'. He's writing a massive serial. He posted a chapter every day for several years. It will go for thousands more chapters and never be finished. It's like wheel of time but even shittier.

You aren't going to write one standalone 80k novel and get rich.

[Anonymous No.20510549]

>>20510501
>Write when you feel like it.
Good suggestion for remaining a casual forever. 90+% of real writers (consistent creators of content) develop the daily discipline of writing. How you feel about it that day should be a secondary consideration.

[Anonymous No.20510550]

>>20510530
Andy Weir did.

[Anonymous No.20510560]

>>20510549
Perhaps next time you should read the sentence after the one that triggers you.
You know, the one that said "maybe write something else meanwhile".

[Anonymous No.20510565]

>>20510530
I'm surprised how dedicated his fans are to read the next chapter. Kudos to him. I even got bored of one piece before the time skip because it just repeats itself.

[Anonymous No.20510574]

>>20510530
I have a seven book series planned. My intent is, if I finish book 1 and start writing book 2 as I'm releasing book 1, will readers lose interest in following the story if the time between 2 and 1 is too large?
A massive serial is its own money machine, I understand that. I'm just wondering about the timeline..
>>20510550
Andy Weir is an inspiration story but I don't know if I'd consider him a fair metric.

[Anonymous No.20510577]

>>20510450
>>20510444
I am trying to find good stories. That's why I asked. Thank you for the info.
Unfortunately for me I came across a game callled Colonize about the puritans landing in Massachusetts, now I'm tempted to play that instead of write.

[Anonymous No.20510581]

>>20510379
Wow. This is pretty cool. Aphantasia wasn't given a name until 2015, but this guy was writing books about it almost ten years earlier.

[Anonymous No.20510622]

>>20510574
>will readers lose interest in following the story if the time between 2 and 1 is too large?

Probably some of them. There's got to be an ideal schedule for releasing books. I'd guess it's about six months apart. Look at the release dates from a few competent professionals in the genre and use that as a guide.

[Anonymous No.20510639]

>>20510577
Damn it, colonize isnt out yet but theres a new problem. A game called Captain of Industry released last week and that is a game I must play.
Good inspiration for a colonysim-litrpg

[Anonymous No.20510705]

>>20510409
>http
Schizophrenics believe that people are NPCs.
Get some meds.

[Anonymous No.20510717]

>actual hylics coping and seething about being the lowest form of man
lmao
this has been known since ancient greek times, read Pistis Sophia

[Anonymous No.20510778]

>>20510574
>I have a seven book series planned. My intent is, if I finish book 1 and start writing book 2 as I'm releasing book 1
I actually did this. Reached about 1000 followers after 7 parts and 5 years of posting and almost nothing but 5-star reviews. Yet, nobody cared about my patreon or bought the Amazon books and I was left about $199,950 short of making $200k per month.

[Anonymous No.20510788]

>>20510778
If true, that is very sad anon and I feel for you. I hope it didn't kill your enjoyment of the craft.

[Anonymous No.20510799]

>>20510788
Not at all. I'm writing primarily for my own enjoyment anyway and didn't have huge expectations.

[Anonymous No.20510810]

>>20507230
I would like to read more of this. Well done, anon.

[Anonymous No.20510819]

>>20510778
What genre re you writing?

[Anonymous No.20510825]

>>20510799
I'm curious, did you do it "right"? Did you post on a set, frequent schedule without missing days? Did your Patreon offer advance chapters? Were you writing to a popular audience (litrpg, cultivation, isekai, etc)?

If you're a good writer and hit those checkmarks, I genuinely thinks it's a recipe for success (financially). So many Patreons are raking in money with this formula, and most aren't even good writers.

[Anonymous No.20510828]

>>20510574
Life isn't fair.
Andy Weir's example shows the unfairness sometimes works in our favor.

[Anonymous No.20510844]

>>20510778
Perhaps write a novel, and shop it to agents, citing your online popularity as a reason for them to take a chance on you?

[Anonymous No.20510855]

Just a reminder...when this thread is full...
>>20506838
...is waiting for us all.
No need to create a new one.

[Anonymous No.20510865]

>>20510825
I offer 10 2k-word advance chapters for 5usd, and I've been stagnant at 70-80usd for months. Story is cultivation sword-and-sorcery with litrpg-lite elements, very solidly in the realm of progression fantasy.

I plan to expand the offer and hope it entices some patrons.

[Anonymous No.20510872]

>>20510865
>>20510825
Oh, and I'm not >>20510799, just pitching in my two cents.

[Anonymous No.20510904]

>>20510825
>So many Patreons are raking in money with this formula
Dude, only like 1 in 10,000 make anything and only after years of steady effort.

[Anonymous No.20510997]

>>20510467
add one word a day because you want to keep the habit

[Anonymous No.20511012]

>>20506847
You know what fuck it! It’s too hard to find a good litrpg so I’ll have to make one. What would you like to see in a reincarnation from birth litrpg?

[Anonymous No.20511013]

>>20510865
>cultivation sword-and-sorcery with litrpg-lite elements, very solidly in the realm of progression fantasy
I'm not up on the latest jargon, what does this mean?

[Anonymous No.20511027]

>>20511012
I rather enjoyed this one:
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/32067/never-die-twice
I'm only up to chapter 16, but it's been fun.

Reincarnation from birth? Meaning what?
The protag having to go through toilet training and kindergarten?

[Anonymous No.20511038]

>>20511012
i dont see how people can still read this style of story

[Anonymous No.20511046]

>>20511038
Me either, but I'm still going to write one!
May as well chase a popular genre.
BTW, I'm not >>20511012 anon.

[Anonymous No.20511049]

>>20511013
>cultivation
It's honestly too complex to explain properly in a 4chan post. Short of it is people using various methods to supersede normal humanity in the pursuit of power/immortality/etc. Training, alchemy, various spiritual rituals/methods, etc etc. More info: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub1cpd2Qg90
I'm doing a western spin on it inspired mostly by medieval european mysticism/alchemy/gnosticism with my own ideas in there, basically disregarding most of the typical tropes.

>litRPG
in my story, this only means that there are devices designed to interpret and compile a person's abilities in a readable chart of attribute ratings, traits, etc. this means the "interface" differs as much as the devices do, manufacturer to manufacturer or model to model.

>swords and sorcery
this should be self-explanatory

>prog fantasy
same
it's fantasy where characters progressing in capability is a core aspect of it

[Anonymous No.20511054]

>>20511027
Yeah pretty much except usually medieval world so there isn't any kindergarten.

[Anonymous No.20511056]

>>20511046
i wish everyone luck, but please dont do the whole monster-killing rank guild trope, make it unique

[Anonymous No.20511062]

>>20511038
Its just bad authors that stain the genre with their bad ideas and writing, the genre by itself has its merits.

[Anonymous No.20511066]

>>20511054
Still, there should be some sort of early education...like, tying pillows around the tykes and letting them have at it with sticks?
I think you may be signing on for a difficult project.
Usually, stories start when the protags are old enough to do something interesting.

[Anonymous No.20511069]

>>20511056
Why not, guilds are satisfying and decently plausible?

[Anonymous No.20511071]

>>20511049
Do you ever think that such a siloed approach when it comes to genre is a detriment?

[Anonymous No.20511081]

>>20511056
I'm trying to make it unique.
My LitRPG's bad guys are an evil guild of bards and illusionists that use compulsion magic to force people to watch their terrible work, and to force actors to follow the script.
So, basically the sort of auteurs whose work ends up on the Elvira show, or Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Nothing grimdark, no earth-shattering consequences.
If the protags fail, the bards will just have to get day jobs or something.

[Anonymous No.20511083]

>>20511071
I am not a slave to tropes, I just grab genre descriptors that I think fit my work
In fact I have never read xianxia, I just thought it was an interesting idea and thought I could do it better than a chinaman

[Anonymous No.20511085]

>>20511069
because as soon as an adventurer enters a guild and talks to the receptionist i want to dash my head upon rocks

[Anonymous No.20511088]

>>20511066
I was just thinking of timeskipping over the boring stuff, with some stories sprinkled here and there to get the story moving. The hard part right now is deciding what his family situation should be like and also creating a character with interesting traits that doesn't make him boring.

[Anonymous No.20511089]

>>20511081
>I'm trying to make it unique.
Solo POV
No harems
Repays entity and gratitude 10 fold

[Anonymous No.20511091]

>>20511081
that sounds pretty interesting.

[Anonymous No.20511100]

>>20511085
You're the opposite of me, I usually like these tropes and hate it when authors try to be unique because that's not really what I'm here for when I'm reading litrpg.

[Anonymous No.20511105]

>>20510904
If you filter for good writers with consistent release schedules (high output) and writing in a popular RR genre, I think the number is much higher. But low odds of 'making it' is creative pursuits in general. Compared to writing regular fiction and trying to get published, I think this strategy is many times more likely to result in a liveable wage.

[Anonymous No.20511126]

>>20511100
i guess i just dont understand the point

[Anonymous No.20511146]

>>20511126
>i guess i just dont understand the point
Why not, guilds are satisfying and decently plausible?

[Anonymous No.20511161]

>>20511146
It's also very overused. But people like familiarity

[Anonymous No.20511175]

>>20506847
You will never be a good writer.

[Anonymous No.20511181]

>>20511161
I feel like its more overused through anime/manga/lightnovels and not actually used that much in western litrpgs, which I think is because everyone in the scene tries to be 'unique'.

[Anonymous No.20511204]

>>20511175
If you give up.

[Anonymous No.20511209]

>>20511175
speak for yourself

[Anonymous No.20511238]

>>20511088
Fair enough.
But to answer your original question...sorta...I don't know what I would want to see in it.
Just do your own thing.

[Anonymous No.20511245]

>>20511089
Only the team's POV, and no harems.
I'm also trying to keep it PG rated.
Edginess has become cringe.
>>20511091
Feel free to check it out:
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/54832/leave-bad-enough-alone
inb4: I'm not claiming it's great literature...it's just a light LitRPG.

[Anonymous No.20511260]

>>20511056
My characters meet in the Adventurer Relations department of the local city.
It's for people that don't have guilds to fall back on, or may be too young to meet in a tavern.
It implies a certain level of pathos, which I find amusing.

[Anonymous No.20511346]

>>20511175
I'll skip good and become great instead

[Anonymous No.20511389]

>>20509933
And who are you to deny yourself entry to Flavortown?

[Anonymous No.20511397]

>Call me Leamshel. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on land, I thought I would join a guild see part of the world I never seen. It is a way I have of driving off the catharsis and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off—then, I account it high time to get mount my horse as soon as I can. This is my substitute for sword and shield. With a philosophical flourish of Lady Breen throws herself upon her sword; I quietly take to the guild. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the sense of adventure with me.

How's my plagiarism? But I will call it a "Parody"

[Anonymous No.20511463]

>>20511397
Aren’t parodies supposed to be funny?

[Anonymous No.20511472]

>>20511260
This is too painfully genre aware

[Anonymous No.20511517]

>>20511397
>>20511463
Call my Fishmael. Like many American boys growing up in the early 19th century, I had always had a restless desire for adventure. But in my case it was a bit stronger than most. The sea was in my blood.
Often times at night, I would lie awake listening to the haunting sound of the waves beating down on my pulmonary vein while a lonely gull would flap its wings against my aorta, and my brother, Phineas, who shared my bed, reeled in sardines using a bent safety pin through my esophagus.
I could hold back the urge no longer, and so one day I decided to leave home and go out to sea. My parents were greatly distraught by my decision.
"You become a sailor?" my father scoffed. "Hah! Look at you; you don't even have a wooden leg. You know all 19th century sailors have wooden legs. What would the Petersons next door say?"
"That's true," said my mother. "Them with their boy, Pegleg, out in the Pacific, and their other son, Gimpy, at Annapolis."
"We'd be the laughing stock of the neighborhood," said my father. "And not only do you not have a wooden leg..."
"I know, I know," I said. "I don't own a parrot."
"Son," said my mother, "all sailors have parrots."
"I'll get a job," I promised. "I'll make money and buy a parrot. Then I'll become a sailor."
"Not without a wooden leg," my father reminded me.
"You can't break up a set," my mother warned.
I pleaded with them. I said someone has to begin somewhere. I offered to start small. I'd sprain my foot, find a sparrow, and join the Coast Guard. But they wouldn't hear of it.
However, I was not to be denied. I ran away from home, went to New Bedford, and signed on as an apprentice seaman on the whaling ship Kumquat.
I turned out to be a great sailor, and life at sea was everything I had dreamed it would be. I worked 22 hours a day, threw up every 45 minutes, and my back was flogged regularly by the first mate's bullwhip. I was a great sailor, but a terrible dreamer.

[Anonymous No.20512504]

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