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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 115 KB, 900x929, metalfish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR] No.2045603 [Reply] [Original]

Ah, remember brownbear's stories? Those were the days. Someone should post a link to an archive.

>friends with a girl
>want her to think I'm 'smart'
>tell her I like books a lot
>'Oh'
>go back to whatever I was doing

>> No.2045624

>talking to girls
>/lit/

>> No.2045634

>>2045624
tell us a greentext story about you and sandwiches, fag

>> No.2045638

>have girlfriend
>get into literature
>still have girlfriend

>> No.2045646
File: 78 KB, 334x700, ladysovhipster.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>Sitting on a train
>I'm reading Tao Lin
>Hipster girls come up to me and says she loves Tao.
>Tells me we should get coffee
>I shrug and say sure.
>She asks to see my phone
>I take it out and she whips it from my hand.
>Slams in her number
>"text me later 'kay."
>I get off the train and delete her number.
Basic Bitches.

>> No.2045654

> have vast collection of classic 'pornographic' literature (fanny hill, josefine mutzenbacher, tropic of cancer, venus in furs etc.)
> reference them covertly at parties
> find amazing, sexually liberated philosophy teacher to reenact favorite scenes with

>> No.2045659
File: 92 KB, 300x300, costanza3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2045646
>2011
>reading Tao Lin, even if it is just to troll hipster bitches

>> No.2045660

>>2045624
>projecting
>you

/lit/ is probably, on average, the board most successful with females.

>> No.2045665

>reading homeric hymn to hermes in greek on plane
>dumb teabagger slut beside me keeps staring at me and what i'm reading
>overreacts everytime i shift positions or get something from my bag
>as we land i stop reading and close book
>she sees it and laughs.
>says 'i thought you were one of those crazy muslim converts reading the koran. thought you might be a terrorist.'
>then she blew me.

>> No.2045666

>>2045660

Fucking this, man. Try browsing /v/ once in a while, compare it to /lit/. This board hasn't hit Black Pit of Despair status just yet.

>> No.2045679

>Spend childhood at the library, reading books
>Never talk with people about anything other than books
>College
>Unable to start a conversation with any girl
>Blame books

>> No.2045691

>>2045665
>reading the koran
>terrorist

really? it's like saying
>reading the bible
>CRAZY TEMPLAR CRUSADER OUT FOR THE BLOOD OF NONBELIEVERS

>> No.2045701
File: 45 KB, 576x383, ladysovsowhat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>2045679
Why not just go full out and start a conversation with a stranger at a bar?

The best way to learn to swim is to jump in the deep end.

>> No.2045720

Can't really think of any examples where reading has helped or hindered my chances with a girl. Though I knew one once who liked me to read to her as she liked my accent.

Closest example:
>interested in girl
>friend zoned for months
>go through angsty period
>write several bad poems about her
>she reads them
>finds them wonderful
>begin dating

However, that relationship was absolute shit from start to finish.

>> No.2045727

>gay
>probably the only gay guy in my area who's actually read a book
>they all think reading is a waste of time
>foreveralone.jpg

>> No.2045729

>>2045727

all the gays who read live in minneapolis/st/ paul, portland, seattle, and vancouver and only those cities.

>> No.2045730

>>2045701
Saying that is like saying to a depressed person "hey man why don't you just cheer up"
I just can't bring myself to do it, I don't have any confidence. I said "blame books" because I think if I had spent more time outside of the library people would have probably talked to me more, girls would have asked me out, etc.
Most of my classmates hardly read the books we were supposed to read for classes, and that was about one book every two months. I, having all the time in the world, used to read two or three books every week. So most people just ignored me. They never made fun of me or called me names, I guess to them I was just "that guy who reads a lot of books but who barely passes every year"

>> No.2045731

>>2045727
Try being working class.
Reading anything automatically makes you an "uppity cunt".

>> No.2045746
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> Sitting in a cafe reading The Stranger (otherwise known as The Outsider) by Camus in original French (L'etranger).
> Notice girl sit down across from me and looking at my book cover.
> I finish the book. It was pretty good apart from when Mersault kills that guy for no reason. I couldn't work out why he did that. I order a Grande Latte and ponder this for a while, taking into account the other works of Camus, Satre and Kierkgard that I have heard about.
> Girl is still looking so I ask if I know her or something.
> She says no, and am I french?
> I tell her no.
> She laughs for no reason and asks to sit next to me.
> I tell her I just prefer to read French existential literature in its original language because the nuances of this particular branch of philosophy are lost in the English translation.
> She says she likes nuances too and asks for my number.
> Sure. I give it to her.
> Calls me half an hour later and asks if I want to go and see a French movie with her that night - Breathless (Jean-Luc Godard) because we had a "connection" and she can't stop thinking about it.
> I tell her no, and block her number (I already saw that movie + I already made plans to write a blog post tonight).

Pic related: it's what she looked like.

>> No.2045752

>>2045746
>2011
>not understanding Camus

>> No.2045754

>>2045746
>Pic related: it's what she looked like. But hotter.

>> No.2045753

>>2045746

Plus Breathless is a bit crap

>> No.2045757

>>2045727
Cheer up, fellow gayfag, I'm sure they like interesting things that aren't books.
Like Lady Gaga, fashion, trashy tv, general teenage girl things, a- oh wait.
We're fucked.

>> No.2045758

>>2045754

She was about 25% hotter.

>> No.2045788

Bump for archive

>> No.2045801
File: 153 KB, 312x510, Brownbear prettier and less slutty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

part of /lit/ required reading collection

>> No.2045805

>>2045801
What's this?

>> No.2045809

>>2045801
I'm highly anticipating BB's next release.

>> No.2045818

>>2045801
I think all the tripfags should make a collective book together it may well feature poetry and short fiction. I'd probably pay $2 for an ebook.

>> No.2045824

>>2045818

Faggot. Don't encourage them.

>> No.2045857

I refuse to greentext, but Candide was responsible for my most recent (and most successful) relationship.
GEB:EGB, Lolita, and House of Leaves are the reason why I have more female friends than male friends.

>> No.2045859

>>2045801

How do I procure?

>> No.2045909
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[ERROR]

>>2045859
You don't. Brownbear only leaves on your bedside table after he snuggles with you.

>> No.2046030

>>2045701
>Obviously has never been maced 2 on the first day of class.

>> No.2046050

>Post coitum
>He asks me about Karl Popper, whom he admires
>I state my opinion
>Not seeing each other anymore
>Good bye, and good riddance

>> No.2046065
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[ERROR]

>>2046030
Nah, when I move in, I move in suave like. Basic bitches love me. I'm all 'sup' and their all like 'tee-hee, hi'.

The key. Shave the neckbeard, drop the metal t-shirt and don't look rapey.

>> No.2046069
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[ERROR]

>>2046065
They're*