/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.20318590]

Anime Grill Edition

Previous thread:
>>20309103

For General Writing
>The Rhetoric of Fiction, Booth
>Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft, Burroway
>Steering the Craft, Le Guin
>The Anatomy of Story, Truby
>How Fiction Works, Wood

YouTube Playlists for Writing
>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTCv6n1whoI23GmdBZienRW0Q0nFCU_ay Robert Butler
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6HOdHEeosc Brandon Sanderson

Technical Aspects of Writing
>Garner's Modern English Usage, Garner
>What Editors Do: The Art, Craft, and Business of Book Editing, Ginna
>Artful Sentences: Syntax as Style, Tufte

Books Analyzing Literature
>Poetics, Aristotle
>Hero With a Thousand Faces, Campbell
>The Art Of Dramatic Writing: Its Basis in the Creative Interpretation of Human Motives, Egri
>The Weekend Novelist, Ray

Traditional Publishing
>https://blog.reedsy.com/manuscript-form
>https://www.submittable.com/
>https://querytracker.net/
>https://www.manuscriptwishlist.com/

Self Publishing Options
>https://archiveofourown.org/
>https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/
>https://www.kobo.com/us/en/p/writinglife
>https://www.royalroad.com/
>https://www.scribblehub.com/
>https://www.wattpad.com/

Self Publishing How-To
>https://selfpublishingwithdale.com/

Poetry
>This Craft of Verse, Borges
>The Poetry Home Repair Manual, Kooser
>Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry, Mason

Anime Writing (^･o･^)
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4on26mKakgs
>https://www.wikihow.com/Create-an-Anime-Story

/wg/ Authors and Flash Fiction Pastebin
>https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ

[Anonymous No.20318604]

Nobody here writes.

[Anonymous No.20318605]

Thread Question
Humanity is almost wiped out. Their replacements are looking through relics of our time billions of years into the future. They find a USB stick with one of your stories on it. What will they think about humanity after reading it?

[Anonymous No.20318614]

>>20318604
I'm about to start writing right now. Going to fire up Libre Office and do my thrice-weekly writing. I'll be back when I'm finished.

[Anonymous No.20318622]

>>20318604
YWNBAW, I know I won't
https://pastebin.com/u8gYUayU

[Anonymous No.20318641]

>>20318622
Okay first paragraph
>There was an admirable simplicity to the Land of Darkness. The Dread Lords adhered to a nebulous code of conduct, in a bid to win the favor of the Makers, concocted over the ages.
The gist of it was to show a deference to visitors from the World of Light not afforded to their underlings, the monsters of the Land of Darkness. Successfully operating in the Dark Lands came down to appreciating the wraiths’ eagerness to earn the respect of The Makers.


This is chapter fucking 12 already. How the fuck are the Dreadlords finally introduced? Is this a recap? New villain? If it's the latter, you should sprinkle it around the next few chapters instead of a huge info dump. If it's the former, then get rid of it

[Anonymous No.20318647]

For anyone that has experience publishing on RR, how long are your chapters usually? And how do you deal with publishing serially? I find that I usually need to return to previous chapters and edit them when new inspiration hits me later on.

[Anonymous No.20318657]

>>20318641
>huge infodump
>One paragraph of four sentences.
I’ll use more onomatopoeia next time.

[Anonymous No.20318696]

>>20318647
You dont' edit RR. Write on the "fly" because it shows the author's "sudden passion"

[Anonymous No.20318723]

>>20318647
>I find that I usually need to return to previous chapters and edit them when new inspiration hits me later on.
Never do that. Employ the techniques of chinese masters and liberally retcon instead.

[Anonymous No.20318742]

How do I write this type of character?

[Anonymous No.20318746]

>>20318742
Go back to /pol/!

[Anonymous No.20318755]

Cozy writing time with coffee

[Anonymous No.20318759]

>>20318605
They'll understand, in great detail, why we're not around any more.
Then they'll find some Kurt Vonnegut, and find it optimistic and uplifting in comparison.

[Anonymous No.20318763]

>>20318604
seethe

[Anonymous No.20318765]

>>20318605
>>20318759
I'm reading EM Forster the machine stops, it's kinda like this. Earth destroyed, people isolated, little knowledge of the past

[Anonymous No.20318767]

>>20318647
>how long are your chapters
3k give or take
>how do you deal with publishing serially?
you tell your readers the schedule and then you stick to it come hell or high water
>I find that I usually need to return to previous chapters and edit them when new inspiration hits me later on
Okay. I recommend drafting far enough ahead that you don't do too much of that.

[Anonymous No.20318791]

>>20318765
So, our world, the last time Facebook went down for a few hours.

[Anonymous No.20318806]

>>20318755
I can almost smell the faint acidity of a yellowed book freshly opened over fragrant backdrop of brewing coffee. Do you have old hardwood floors that creek just a bit too? That would complete the aesthetic.

I really need to hit up the used bookstore again.

[Anonymous No.20318848]

>>20318806
I wish, flippers delight floors. It's shitty bamboo "engineered wood" that cracks because it's buckling, due in no small part to tight installation and the absence of leveling compound! It would be a bit of a bother to install, but I do have enough hardwood flooring, in my shed, to do the front of the house in 3.5" oak t&g. Whether I have the will to interrupt my reading and writing is another question.

Indeed, as it were, if one might get straight to the point, in a manner of speaking, those yellowed pages on the left are "cream" from everyman's, lots of people choose off white for finer books. The Schiller on the right is also antique laid paper.

[Anonymous No.20318884]

I have acne taking over my body help me

[Anonymous No.20318911]

>>20318884
Charcoal soap. And since you're sitting all the time, your pores are grabbing tons of dirt on your back. Get a back scrubber too

[Anonymous No.20319152]

>>20318604
I wrote this so far this week

[Anonymous No.20319160]

>>20318884
My acne disappeared when I began limiting my slat consumption.

[Anonymous No.20319169]

>>20319160
*salt

[Anonymous No.20319232]

>>20318647
>how long are your chapters usually?
Between 3k-5k.
>And how do you deal with publishing serially?
I must be the only fucker on that website who actually plans stories ahead, writes chapters in advance, and edits.

[Anonymous No.20319276]

>>20319152
So what's up with the weird symbols?

[Anonymous No.20319298]

>>20319276
it's a base sixty number system, the date of the coin is '59-57-28-9' or, 9th day, 28th week, of the fifty-nine-sixties-and-fifty-seventh year, or in base ten, '3597-28-9'. It's really hard to write here, but I have a video explaining it.
https://youtu.be/gqjDtWRc7AM

[Anonymous No.20319309]

>>20319298
But why

[Anonymous No.20319324]

>>20319309
I'm setting something up, and the math is nice

[Anonymous No.20319375]

>>20318590
I wrote a book for anime fans.

[Anonymous No.20319497]

>>20319375
Tell me more.

[Anonymous No.20319684]

>>20318791
das it mane

[Anonymous No.20319686]

I've been playing around writing some sci-fi stuff recently. What I'm wondering is how does one justify the inclusion of humans doing anything practical in an advanced sci-fi world? How do I get around the fact that anything remotely technical or practical would be done by an AI? What role is there for humans in such a setting?
How do I justify say a pilot of a ship when space ships would likely be fully autonomous? What about a solider? Why wouldn't all wars be fought using AI controlled weapons?
I'm not sure how to build a plausible world. It seems inevitable that AI would be able to do anything remotely interesting that a human character would do. How do I answer this question without resorting to just ignoring this or making up some kind of cliché like "AGI was outlawed following intergalactic war XYZ"?

[Anonymous No.20319707]

>>20319686
In a post-scarcity society people can do whatever they want, this includes jobs that are not in any way necessary or practical.

[Anonymous No.20319740]

>>20319707
So I am doomed to write stories about tourists and hobbyists? Is it possible to write a heroic character in such a setting?

[Anonymous No.20319750]

>>20319740
Have you ever heard of The Culture series by Iain M. Banks?

[Anonymous No.20319752]

>>20319686
I take AGI pretty seriously, even some of the MIRI junk, but I don't think it's implausible for progress to plateau in the near future. The current approach could turn out to be a dead end, useful but not human-level.
I like the take on AI in Distress by Greg Egan. There are programs that can do internet sleuthing and theorem proving on a superhuman level, and they can hold conversations that relate to that, but they clearly aren't people. It holds up well for something written almost thirty years ago.
Ignoring it is reasonable.
A Butlerian jihad also seems reasonable, though I'd only do it if there's some interesting meat to it, not if it's a throwaway justification.
Probably a bad idea, but if you want to do something a little more out there, have your spaceships and so on piloted by simulated humans (ems). If you can upload brains then you can clone the galaxy's most skilled pilot a billion times over and simulate him at 10× speed to enhance his reaction time. Many of the same practical advantages as AI, plus weird ethical issues. https://qntm.org/mmacevedo is a short story about this, The Age of Em by Robin Hanson is a nonfiction book that delves deep into how it could play out economically, demographically, socially. (It's dry and dense but I found it very interesting.)

[Anonymous No.20319806]

Hi guis. So I'm new to literature and only read a few books so far but I feel an urge to write something. So I'm typing something up in a document titled "Touch Grass" which I'm kinda treating like a diary/journal but simultaneously refining to a book in a collection of essays format as I write it. The book will be intended for neets and depressed zoomers who realize there must be more to life than jerkin' it to anime porn and wish to break the cycle. In the book I will also put forward my own philosophy of pluralistic correctness that has given me much wisdom and has ultimately helped me become less autistic, always agreeable and more confident in unfamiliar social environments.
plz review this opening essay that will follow a preface section: https://pastebin.com/d1P9BJJH

[Anonymous No.20319841]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DRlv01MC7xhMr06IDZ-Y1BBDQkuc7cdsb34GJe5JFwU/edit?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.20319918]

>>20318604
Nobody here *reads. Please remember that your meme is dead because tons of people here now write, but no one who posts their writing ever admits to reading a single book.

[Anonymous No.20319932]

>>20319918
Nobody here sneeds.

[Anonymous No.20319946]

>>20318622
>YWNBAWriter
Yes, you will, and you don't have a choice in the matter.
You will sit down and write every day.
You will seek criticism and grow your technical knowledge.
You will find joy in every word.
You will make it.

[Anonymous No.20320014]

how do I write interesting relationships? does it require sadistically bullying my characters instead of sheltering them? if a story just tragically fucks them as hard as possible with a few false upswings, will that make it more interesting?

[Anonymous No.20320033]

>>20320014
You don't have to bulli them. You just have to let them interact with each other. Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises has great character relationships and none of them are particularly tortured in it.

[Anonymous No.20320036]

>>20319750
I've only read Consider Phlebas, although it was a while ago. I remember that book taking place mostly outside of the culture, and the protagonist being explicitly anti-culture partially because he felt that the culture kind of makes humans obsolete. So I'm not sure exactly how Banks justifies humans working within the culture. I have a copy of Player of Games that I've been meaning to read.
>>20319752
Thanks for the suggestions. I like the idea of advanced AI being simulated humans, and the ethical issues around that justifying why AI isn't totally ubiquitous. I was playing with the idea of a world in which super intelligent AIs basically unionised, making it again be cheaper / easier to use humans for things like fighting wars, piloting ships, and so on.

[Anonymous No.20320073]

>>20319946
>You will find joy in every word.
Every writer that's ever lived has admitted that writing sounds great but actually doing it is a nightmare.

[Anonymous No.20320088]

>>20320073
>actually doing it is a nightmare
This sounds like something George R.R. Martin would say

[Anonymous No.20320137]

>>20319946
Joy is found after you either get a stroke of ungodly luck and produce something kino on the first try, or edit until your kidneys start to rot. Worth it in the end tho, definitely.

[Anonymous No.20320141]

Marketing is fun. I could see why people make this a career.

[Anonymous No.20320157]

>>20320073
>>20320137
I find joy in writing everything since I got good, maybe the issue is your process is soulless "outlining" where you them write to meet the checklist?

[Anonymous No.20320164]

>https://pastebin.com/URyCT3vr
I've been working on refining this since I can't really concentrate enough to write new passages until my family's left from their visit. I've whittled it down to what I find acceptable, and any input would be appreciated.

[Anonymous No.20320215]

>>20320157
Not really, I have a rough list of plot points I wanna hit, but nothing I'm religiously adhering to. My issue is that I get stuck in editing hell, endlessly revising and altering already written chapters. True, it does improve the quality of my story overall, but it considerably slows down my actual writing.

[Anonymous No.20320228]

>>20320157
>since I got good
That line of thinking is why you don't find writing miserable. You have "got good," in your head. It's a static viewpoint, and one which precludes further improvement. The misery in writing is that need to be constantly in that restless process of getting better. If you're not hurting, you're not improving, and if you're not improving you're stunted.

[Anonymous No.20320238]

>>20320164
Never do the "as you know" shit. It's the worst way of delivering exposition. If a person knows something, there's no reason whatsoever to tell them they know it.
Removing that would be an instant improvement.

[Anonymous No.20320244]

>>20320228
No, that's wrong. You're not supposed to hate the experience. If you do you have mental health problems.

[Anonymous No.20320260]

>>20320244
Not that anon, I love the experience of writing and editing to a point, once it becomes an endless dance of revising the same 20 chapters over and over, it saps the life out of it for me. I am well aware that this is because I'm categorically retarded and unable to achieve satisfaction in my own work, and while it does help out in the long run, in the short term it sucks donkey sack.

[Anonymous No.20320268]

>>20320244
Would you say that a long distance runner will see improvement without pushing themselves to the point of misery? Can a doctor go through years of intense academia and then more of residency without feeling miserable? You literally can't develop a skill without pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. The muscle builds AFTER you tear it. No tear, no relentless and constant self-criticism, no working until you feel like you can't anymore, no gain.

[Anonymous No.20320275]

>>20318590
>Anime Writing (^･o･^)
>>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4on26mKakgs
>>https://www.wikihow.com/Create-an-Anime-Story
You guys are joking, right? Surely there are some books/video/tutorials made by japanese authors that are actually good, right? Or you guys just hate anime?

[Anonymous No.20320280]

>>20320238
Yes, I know it's aggravating. That is, as you might not know, intentional. Thanks for the critique though.

[Anonymous No.20320287]

>>20320268
>Would you say that a long distance runner will see improvement without pushing themselves to the point of misery?
As a long distance runner: yes. Running gives you a high. If you're miserable while running, you're hurting your body. Hurting your body doesn't improve it, it causes damage.
>Can a doctor go through years of intense academia and then more of residency without feeling miserable?
I don't know any doctors.
> You literally can't develop a skill without pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. The muscle builds AFTER you tear it. No tear, no relentless and constant self-criticism, no working until you feel like you can't anymore, no gain.
You seem to be conflating being slightly uncomfortable due to strain with being miserable. This lack of nuance is common in young people these days. People only use the most extreme adjectives, love or hate, to describe how they feel about things. Misery is far, far too extreme to describe the burn of your muscles or the weariness caused by a long run.
Please increase your vocabulary so you can more properly express a wider range of human experience. Then we can bypass confusion like this in the future.

[Anonymous No.20320288]

>>20320268
You inapt analogies aside, enjoying the experience does not mean enjoying every single facet of it at all times. If you legitimately don't enjoy writing wtf are you even doing get a new hobby.

[Anonymous No.20320289]

>>20319946
But every time impost you people tell me its irredeemable trash!

[Anonymous No.20320297]

>>20319707
>post scarcity society
Does not exist.

[Anonymous No.20320306]

>>20320275
They don't even have a link to kishotenketsu, they're clearly sour about the influx of anime influenced writers here and would rather go back to the good old days.

[Anonymous No.20320313]

>>20318605
Fake and gay

[Anonymous No.20320327]

>>20319806
I'd be interested in reading more. I'm intrigued.

[Anonymous No.20320340]

>>20320287
>As a long distance runner: yes. Running gives you a high. If you're miserable while running, you're hurting your body. Hurting your body doesn't improve it, it causes damage.
Sounds like you've never run a marathon or trained for one. The burn of muscles and "weariness" don't even begin to characterize the feeling of the final step at the end of 26 miles. The "weariness" is not so much being just weary as it is fighting your body's desire to do literally anything but propel itself forward one more step. If you've never experienced this, and if you don't recognize it as not just unavoidable but pivotal to the pursuit of excellence, you're just a tourist. Mastering your misery is the bread and butter of a serious endurance athlete.
>Please increase your blah blah blah
Fuck off, retard. Maybe you've led a cushy life and you've never really had to push yourself. I have no way of knowing that, and frankly, I don't care. The one thing I know is that nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. I know that the minute you let yourself get lazy and say things like, "well, since I got good," you get complacent. You stop improving. It's a poisonous mindset that breeds mediocrity. The only way to keep improving and to be the best at what you do is to be constantly uncomfortable. Constantly pushing yourself can sometimes be miserable.

QED.

[Anonymous No.20320344]

>>20320306
That's a shame. Did the older OPs have more of guides and tutorials on japanese way of writing stories?

[Anonymous No.20320354]

>>20319806
>The world is dark. There’s not a single light but the blueish glow of a computer screen. Typing on the keyboard… Thoughts racing, overindulgence. Wandering trains of thought with no destination.
Very clicheish, especially the "blueish glow of a computer screen". That phrase along with trains with no destinations is too played out out. Also, do trains wander?

I personally do not like short sentences. But they can be used quite effectively to create a certain atmosphere or set a tempo and rhythm for the reader. In your case, you overuse them. Every sentence is around four or five words, which just gets tiring as a reader after the second paragraph.

You can also easily tell from your writing that you are ESL and lack the vocabulary to properly express yourself.

>I enjoy the temporary calm as I stare up at the ceiling. Until a train of thought leads me to my desktop.

In 200 words you again, for the second time, managed to mention trains. I don't know, I think that this just goes to shows how repetitive and pointless your text is? You just go back and forth between your PC and looking at the clock or falling asleep, it seems. You don't convey your torment and spiraling convincingly.

Your story ends with you in nature. You're thinking about life. But it again feels like there is not payoff. You don't expand on the emotions that you might feel in this moment, or tell us exactly how and why you "feel connected to the environment around" you. You don't even bother going into details about the apparent beauty of nature beyond just mentioning clouds, ponds, and raindrops.

>a beautiful scene I will never forget

So tell us about it!

[Anonymous No.20320388]

>>20320354
Not that anon but this is a good post.
>You can also easily tell from your writing that you are ESL and lack the vocabulary to properly express yourself.
I took that personally ;__;

[Anonymous No.20320390]

>>20320340
>Sounds like you've never run a marathon or trained for one.
Okay, this is the part where the conversation dies. You don't get to just make shit up and act like it's true. There's nothing to talk to you about anymore.

[Anonymous No.20320397]

>>20320141
I hate marketing and I hate marketers. I've never read a book because the author said "PLS READ MY BOOK!" If you have to toot your own horn, then your work is guaranteed shit, the end.

[Anonymous No.20320398]

>>20320397
But what about my twitter follow-for-follow scam?

[Anonymous No.20320405]

>>20320398
I heard following tons of people to get follow-backs gets you easily shadowbanned

[Anonymous No.20320412]

>>20320405
Even the website is talking about marketing

[Anonymous No.20320421]

>>20320412
>he doesn't have adblock

[Anonymous No.20320434]

>>20320215
I used to be a compulsive editor too, my process change was to time lock things. I give myself a week or two 2 to draft and edit a chapter, once that final Sunday ends that chapter is locked off to editing and I can only add comments to the doc.

>>20320228
>You have "got good," in your head
No I have received consistently positive critique feedbacks. That's not to say I'm perfect or all my work is equally good across the board but over the past months I've put in a lot of work and things that were once difficult are now ducks..

>>20320340
Fuck off with this joyless psued drivel. The joy in doing, of mastery, is one of the most basic pleasures of life. Yes pushing yourself that extra 10% is often down to willpower but you if you aren't finding enjoyment in significant chunks of the beginning and middle you're either mentally ill or your shit sucks.

[Anonymous No.20320440]

>>20320354
Thanks very much for the criticism.
English is my first language, I'm just autistic and that's how it sounded in my head trying to compile all my past experience into a coherent stream of paragraphs, but I realize it came out a little wonky (and that's after my 4th time trying to refactor it). I didn't even realize the beginning was cliche, I thought I was being original :^)

[Anonymous No.20320452]

Just wrote some ~15k words over the course of 8 hours. Can't wait to carve through this block of wood I just squeezed out of my ass once exams are over. We're all gonna make it bros.

[Anonymous No.20320462]

You will never produce a work that can be considered sui generis. The homeschooled autist who made Tails Gets Trolled did, however.
Will you fight? Or perish like a dog?

[Anonymous No.20320471]

>>20320452
That's a lot of words. How the fuck do you manage to write that much in such a short amount time? Was it more or less a stream of consciousness? Did you have the time to edit? How well-written is the end result? But yeah, that's really impressive, anon

[Anonymous No.20320495]

>>20318590
>had story idea for a while inspired by some games I like
>was a little hesitant. I wrote beforehand but never would go all out like this until now
>started to write it all down about 3 or 4 days ago
>have been having a blast writing characters and editing scenes
>plan to share my autism with the rest of the world one day
It's the little things that keep you happy, lads.

[Anonymous No.20320508]

>>20318590
can we get a "writing" board?

[Anonymous No.20320585]

>>20320508
It will be dead or filled with all the dreck of /tg/ and /jp/ autists convinced their grimdark/fantasy/light novel is the next big thing. A lot of bad writing would be fixed if people read actual books first and balanced their writing with reading.

[Anonymous No.20320593]

>>20320344
Other way around, anon. They used to not even acknowledge anime writing. This is a very small step forward.

[Anonymous No.20320597]

Is it enough to start out with a vague concept for a story or do you need to hammer more details down before you come up with a concept?

[Anonymous No.20320600]

>>20320597
a vague concept is fine. you just need an opening scene with some characters. preferably not with the main character waking up in bed and getting ready for the day

[Anonymous No.20320603]

>>20320600
>preferably not with the main character waking up in bed and getting ready for the day
Why is this such a common trap for newbie authors?

[Anonymous No.20320609]

>>20320603
Because it's the easiest way to begin. You don't need to think about what's happening and when, it's obvious. It's morning, they're waking up. Anyone can relate to that.

[Anonymous No.20320611]

A story should start with the main character getting stabbed to death before transitioning to “Three weeks earlier…”.

[Anonymous No.20320612]

>>20320609
It can work, but generally speaking, if you open with "protagonist doing a mundane thing", you have to give them some characterisation or some intriguing aspect to the mundanity. If they're waking up, maybe they're waking up in a weird place or situation, if they're going about a normal day, have that normal day be extremely abnormal by real-world standards, etc.

[Anonymous No.20320622]

>>20320611
Yup, that's me getting stuck like a pig. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this sticky situation...

[Anonymous No.20320636]

>>20320471
Didn't look back once, just kept writing. I swear to god getting into the flow of writing is the best feeling ever. I shot a look at it at the end and even from a glance I can see that it needs a real good round of polish. It ain't unreadably bad but with pretty much no editing done it's as rough as rough drafts get. I've had these ideas brewing in my head for a couple weeks now and I finally got the chance to let it all out. And thanks!

[Anonymous No.20320729]

>>20320636
I was pretty much in a similar situation a week ago. It was fucking hell for me with how slowly I write. Feels really good to get it all done though.

[Anonymous No.20320768]

>>20320611
I tried to do exactly this, but it ended up being purple as fuck. Posted it here a while back, actually. I tried to make the opening scenes as dramatic and vivid as possible but it ended up being a guy rambling about the weather while he's getting shanked in the gut.

[Anonymous No.20320791]

What's a good place to learn about affection so I can write a convincing scene between two human people who don't hate each other?

[Anonymous No.20320817]

Most progressives wouldn’t read a love story between a man and a monster if it was also gay; goes to show how tolerant they really are.

[Anonymous No.20320829]

>>20320817
You mean there's no popular romance of a werewolf fucking another man?

[Anonymous No.20320848]

>>20320829
Werewolf, dragon, alien, wendigo, nothing. Libs pretend to like gay shit, pretend to like stuff that’s “out there,” but is that what lines their bookshelves? Is that what makes it to the NYTimes bestseller’s list?

[Anonymous No.20320855]

>>20320829
Ooh, how about this? The werewolf is a lesbian in her human form, but turns into a gay male wolf and it's the wolf who loves the man. That way we get into some weird trans shit, too?

[Anonymous No.20320857]

>>20320855
Nice desu.

[Anonymous No.20320862]

>>20320791
read fan fic/romance novels

[Anonymous No.20320870]

>>20318590
Once again I am asking for someone to help my autistic brain understand POV and tense:

>The desert is a wasteland. Here, at a dusty section, the Silk Stocking Cafe stood alone in the barren wastes. A buxom waitress of flickering neon flashed red and turquoise in the gray morning light. The intersection had once been a bustling thoroughfare, an essential stop for travelers on their way to California, complete with motels, restaurants, and auto services. When the interstate came through, there was no need for the stop, and the junction shrank to ruins. Only the Silk Stocking Cafe remained.
>Catie entered and tapped her finger on the hostess podium. "Uhh, hello?" she called, annoyed that she had to wait.
>"With you in just a sec, hun," a fat waitress called from the kitchen. Catie sighed. She looked around the café. It looked like trash. But it was their only option

So this is a made-up example, similar to something I'm writing. My questions are
If my novel is in past tense, am I still allowed to make general statements like "The desert is a wasteland." This is present tense, but saying "the desert WAS a wasteland" implies that it changed, so that can't be right, right?
Second, Catie is a dunce and would have no idea about the interstate cutting off travel to old highway junctions, or the history of the cafe. So this is information she would not know. I want my story to be 3rd person limited, is it okay to have sections like this to provide information she doesn't actually have?
Thank.

[Anonymous No.20320890]

>>20320870
Saying 'was' as an omniscient narrator in 3rd person doesn't imply that it changed. There is no 'is' outside of dialogue then, you always put it in past tense because you're the narrator telling a story. If it's a character's introspection or monolgue, that's when you use 'is' to describe stuff.

[Anonymous No.20320893]

>>20320434
>over the past months
>I got good
I've got some bad news for you, anon. Are there 10,000 hours in a month?
>The joy in doing, of mastery, is one of the most basic pleasures of life.
Absolutely. That joy is inherent to how difficult the mastery was to attain. It's pretty obvious that you don't have the perfectionism necessary to be truly excellent. You've "gotten consistently positive feedback." Fucking laughable.

[Anonymous No.20320937]

>>20320893
>all this horseshit about struggle and everything
post your work. nut up or shut up

[Anonymous No.20320981]

>>20320260
I can't think of a single process in writing I dislike. Writing is fun as hell. Editing is a joy; I love constantly massaging sentences to get them just right, then deleting whole paragraphs because I had a better idea for what should be there. Outlining I rarely do, but it follows an easy logical process that often helps me get through writer's block. Formatting to make everything look pretty. Picking a title. Getting criticism letting me know how much more I still have to discover. I can't name a single thing I dislike about writing. There isn't an ounce of misery in it for me.

[Anonymous No.20321013]

>>20320937
Never claimed to be a master writer. I have learned some lessons along the way of different creative ventures though. This >>20320164 is my writing ITT. For the record, I'm sharing that in full cognizance of the fact that you're going to be as brutal as possible because you already disagree with what I'm saying, and probably want to try to teach me a lesson.

[Anonymous No.20321022]

>>20320890
Disagree.
>Women are assholes. Every time Jill entered a store, she acted like an entitled cunt to the poor retails workers.
Past:
>Women were assholes. Every time Jill entered a store, she acted like an entitled cunt to the poor retails workers.
"women were assholes" sounds retarded. Almost all past-tense writing will include present tense maxims or statements like this

[Anonymous No.20321044]

>>20320981
I am mentally ill (probably) and I hate writing it's over get these thoughts out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head

[Anonymous No.20321060]

>>20321044
Another outstanding contribution to the commonwealth of /wg/

[Anonymous No.20321066]

>>20321013
You should read Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses, by Mark Twain. Upon reading you excerpt one immediately sprang to mind, to wit:

>They require that when the personages of a tale deal in conversation, the talk shall sound like human talk, and be talk such as human beings would be likely to talk in the given circumstances, and have a discoverable meaning, also a discoverable purpose, and a show of relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject at hand, and be interesting to the reader, and help out the tale, and stop when the people cannot think of anything more to say.

Your doctor does not speak like a doctor, but like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven- dollar Friendship's Offering.

[Anonymous No.20321069]

>>20320893
>>20321013
>the fucking Dr. BUCKSNEED guy has been trying to drag me all thread

I was just trying to spread positivity/my lessons learned, but this is a better reward.

[Anonymous No.20321080]

>>20321044
Anon, put that illness to work. Channel the autism and focus it into the page. Do I have to call Fitzgerald? He'll shoot you dead anon. He'll fucking shoot you through the computer screen and possess your ghost and make it write saccharine poetry if you don't get to work.

[Anonymous No.20321105]

>>20321066
He's not actually a doctor. Or maybe he is. There are reasons given that plausibly he could be many things. I agree that under the context of a realist fiction, that's fantastic advice. I'm just not writing something that's even close to realistic. I do probably need to cut it down though. Cheers.
>>20321069
Hey, laughter is valid. I just write the shit, once you read it, it's yours to do what you want with it.

[Anonymous No.20321106]

>>20321013
You spent 10,000 hours a month writing a story with impenetrably bad prose and a character called bucksneed? The first paragraph needs to be trimmed down, the jokes are laboured and need to be dialed back like 15% and the second paragraph makes no sense.

[Anonymous No.20321110]

>>20321106
Thanks for the input. Cheers. What's bad about the prose, except that it makes no sense? I put a lot of effort into the prose itself. Could you pick out something more concrete?

[Anonymous No.20321137]

>>20321110
The following should be deleted or replaced with less retarded prose. I know you are trying to make this guy have a certain voice but it is just too much at this point.

In all honesty, and in the spirit of full disclosure,
What kind of man pisses himself? The orderlies disliked that, a
When not humorous, I regret that these remarks could often be quite cruel. At times, the humor was found within the cruelty itself. I will, of course, spare you their recount, although

some certain

in particular

; but I digress

, frankly,

in whose clutches currently you ail.

perhaps

I—myself—espouse these beliefs,

spineless; gutless.


the 2nd para is just pure purple prose and really makes no sense, is the weak MC saying this shit? maybe if I had more context which I don't want, honestly. Its just nonsense to me.

[Anonymous No.20321173]

>>20321080
Wish I had the cool autism when you passionately write poetry or some shit but instead I got crippling writing anxiety which just makes me write 60 words per HOUR

[Anonymous No.20321182]

>>20320981
I am right there with you. I love writing. Even if no one ever reads them (probably never will). I just love creating stories. Creating scenarios for characters to get out of. My issue is that the time I have alone is short and I am very extroverted. I will almost always pick playing video games with my friends over writing.

If no one gets online I have no problem writing for hours alone. But if I see they are in discord I talk myself out of writing every. Single. Time.

I’m trying to write during the week and game during the weekend and it’s going well so far.

[Anonymous No.20321342]

>>20320893
If you hate writing this much, it sounds like you don't actually want to write and instead just want someone to listen to you talk.

[Anonymous No.20321364]

>>20318590
Why isn't Gardner in the OP anymore?

[Anonymous No.20321446]

>>20320603
It allows both the writer and the reader to start the story from level 0 regarding information. Being asleep means nothing is happening, which means that opening the character's eyes gives a reason to describe the room. Then they go down the hall. Say hi to Mom, and then take a slice of toast and run to school with it in their mouth.

You just have to get better at finding ways to ease the reader into a scene without starting it with them in bed. For instance a character is waiting to be interviewed for a job. You start in the middle of things where the character is looking at magazines on the coffee table, and at some point you might slip in a line about them waking up rough that morning. It provides enough context for the reader to get their bearings before the scene proper begins.

[Anonymous No.20321450]

>>20321446
There's also something to be said for just dropping in the reader midway through and backfilling.

[Anonymous No.20321469]

I noticed something odd. I can write well, but I can't outline for shit. How can I fix this? Any guides on outlining?

[Anonymous No.20321474]

>>20321469
You don't need to outline. You can discovery write, though you should at least have a vague framework, or some point you're working towards, otherwise you'll just meander.

[Anonymous No.20321481]

>>20321022
For figures of speach or statements of fact, like yours, I agree, it can be used. My mistake, I hadn't considered that.

[Anonymous No.20321487]

>>20321469
I work out the context of my world, basically who the main character is, what he wants, what he needs, and what he's going to have to do to get it.

Then I write the first draft of an act of the story (about 30k words).

If I'm happy with that 30k I rewrite it so its a better 2nd draft. I then continue writing the story 30k at a time pushing forward until the end.

[Anonymous No.20321641]

>>20321182
>My issue is that the time I have alone is short and I am very extroverted. I will almost always pick playing video games with my friends over writing.
>If no one gets online I have no problem writing for hours alone. But if I see they are in discord I talk myself out of writing every. Single. Time.
Are you me? I thought I was an introvert for years but I realized I just love being around people. It makes me super excited and then when I get home I'm brimming with ideas all those people gave me just by talking.
I will often waste time watching shows when I should be reading or writing and some bad voices in my ear (other friends) convince me that I'm just taking a break and doing something else. When in reality, I'm fighting for writing time as it is.

[Anonymous No.20321703]

>>20321641
Yes! So frustrating. I love writing but it is very isolating most of the times. I usually write while listening to someone on twitch so it feels less lonely lol

[Anonymous No.20321717]

>>20320981
Same, the point I wanted to make is that I tend to get stuck in editing hell, and at that point it stops being writing, and it starts being torture. Legit, if I could just leave my old shit be and not endlessly revise, I'd agree with you 100%.

[Anonymous No.20321759]

I really like goats give me ideas about goats to write about

[Anonymous No.20321790]

Question for my fellow fantasybvlls, how does the existence of magic in your world impact its technology, if at all? This goes double if the world is medieval.

[Anonymous No.20321830]

>>20318590
hmm i think i will do some writing hehe

[Anonymous No.20321839]

>>20321759
When in doubt, portray them as demons.

[Anonymous No.20321842]

>>20321830
It’s my favorite part of the day

[Anonymous No.20321846]

>>20321830
Not today you won't, jackass. You've got that new TV show to watch

[Anonymous No.20321887]

>>20321759
write about a girl and her goat (not lewd or perverse)

[Anonymous No.20321894]

>>20321846
TV sucks

[Anonymous No.20321899]

>>20321790
there's a reason most fantasy worlds use beasts for transportation. but a longer answer would be it would depend on how ubiquitous magic use is. a very, very small number there'd probably be more technology. a middling amount would probably have the lowest level of technology. a lot everywhere it would basically be integrated with everything making the relative level of technology higher.

[Anonymous No.20321903]

>>20321790
This question keeps me up at night and always cripples me from writing the pseudo medieval fantasy I want to write.

[Anonymous No.20321982]

>>20321790
The magic in my universe comes in a few flavors:
Forces or anomalies that simply "exist", the way a black hole or a white dwarf would out in space. The characters in the setting have a tenuous understanding of certain forces, and even use technology to tap into them, but they don't exert mastery or "control" over them.

Individual/Personal magic: Abilities or traits that manifest in specific individuals, you could have a knack for something and be extremely gifted at it. You might also find that nothing feels intuitive to you. These abilities can also be bestowed in special circumstances. The larger setting of my world is unaware that magic is a thing, because there is a sort of dampening field in effect to keep it so that people aren't able to connect to the wellspring of that energy (or something like that). I'm trying to write in a device by which a temporary bubble or "pocket" in space could be sustained for a short period to use magic. One example might be a drug cartel using a very crude form of magic to attempt to double their product. These instances would be rare, and would definitely set off a radar for the authorities who would be extremely swift and brutal in their response.

[Anonymous No.20322060]

This better be good

[Anonymous No.20322063]

>>20320164
>What is my illness, Doctor Bucksneed?
Have you ever in your life asked what your illness was? There's something very off with using the word in this context—it sounds fake, insincere and inhuman (unless that's the point?).

The rest of my critique will be in regards to the whole of your text, instead of individual segments. Honestly man, I really wanted to enjoy reading this as it appears to be something you've put a lot of extensive thought, editing, and self-critiquing into, specially curating it to fit a certain stylistic poise, but you did so to the point of belaboring the text into a soulless sterility—it's clinical in it's stiffness (once again, perhaps the point since he's a doctor [haha]? But it becomes a chore for the reader, and detracts from any potential humor your attempting to convey). The juxtaposition between the doctors soliloquy, and the the stream of consciousness is an excellent idea in a vacuum. The difference between the long, scientific speech and shorter spurts of ideas, thoughts and feelings would have been good, but the stream of consciousness that your paragraph curates is not the desperately needed fresh garden salad after the fucking overcooked roast I just ate. The vernacular used is just a little to abrasive to develop a cohesive meter while reading (vicissitudes? really, nigga?). The alliteration and imagery were quite nice, and honestly, the more I read it out loud the better it sounded. There were a few phrases that tripped me up and found quite awkward to parse through (e.g. a lover whose slippers linger my doorstep—I kept trying to add in prepositions after linger, or even pluralize it), but about half way through, when I realized I'm not hear to understand, but to experience it began to flow much better. So I tried to critique this less from a literary standpoint and more from a merit of... artsy-ness? And as a stand-alone paragraph it's really interesting, but when contrasted with the former paragraph I FUCKING HATE IT.

[Anonymous No.20322091]

>>20322060
out of curiosity how is the physical quality of the book's binding?

[Anonymous No.20322094]

>>20321790
Why yes of course OP

[Anonymous No.20322114]

I've written the first 15 chapters of my story and I plan to upload a chapter weekly to Royal Road. It's 30k words in total and covers the first major act of my story.

I'm going to upload chapters only when the act they're a part of is done. So there would be a haitus after chapter 15 (meaning after week 15) if I haven't written the next act by then (I'm very slow with writing, redrafting, etc).

I'll also try and get more keywords for Royal Road's search filter. Probably makes a big difference to gaining new readers. Search Engine Optimisation and all that.

[Anonymous No.20322119]

>>20322091
Pretty shit, but it'll hold.

[Anonymous No.20322136]

>>20322114
I would hold off on posting for three reasons.
1st, 30k is relatively not a lot of words and unless you really put your nose to the grindstone after you start posting you will hit the hiatus. You should want to avoid this at all costs.
2nd, Royal Road - I believe - pushes new stories to the front of the search pile for a certain amount of time, a couple weeks, maybe, and you would be much better served to post frequently in the beginning to get readers' attention. You will want to post, say, three times a week, maybe even five times a week, for the first couple of weeks before starting your normal schedule.
3rd, editing. You need to give your work a little time to breathe so that you can look at it with relatively fresh eyes so you can edit it properly. Also getting further ahead earlier minimizes retcons in the future.

[Anonymous No.20322151]

>>20322060
Okay this was pretty good

[Anonymous No.20322161]

>>20318742
Just write somebody who is overly attached to buying things with no practical value.

[Anonymous No.20322206]

What are some good tiktockers for writing advice

[Anonymous No.20322296]

>>20322136
The issue here is the process of writing the series is going to be glacial no matter what. It just is to keep up what quality there is. It's not a stream of consciousness lit-rpg project that can be written and released on the fly. Or something a little more thought out but similarly able to be mass written.

You're in no way wrong. It's more like my story just needs to be read as a whole book and isn't going to be released fast enough to meet Royal Road's standards. It sucks there isn't a good RR alternative.

[Anonymous No.20322304]

>>20322296
theres wattpad, webnovel, scribblehub, AO3, fictionpress

[Anonymous No.20322308]

>>20322304
Any you'd recommend for a comfy fantasy novel that isn't about violence but more the dramatic slice of life kind?

[Anonymous No.20322310]

>>20322308
scribblehub is royalroad before it decided to monetize its analytics and with better UI, it is more GL/fantasy/smut skewed so you might have a chance there

[Anonymous No.20322317]

>>20322296
>the series
So write the first book entirely, first. There is absolutely no reason for you to start posting prematurely, it'll only hamstring your later drafting efforts.

[Anonymous No.20322430]

>>20322151
Not reading for the simple fact you cut of words jfc

[Anonymous No.20322455]

>>20322430
You should buy the book !

[Anonymous No.20322457]

>>20322094
There was a really bad one I remember falling asleep from watching from how boring it is.

[Anonymous No.20322459]

How do I "cut loose" and stop holding myself back when I write?

[Anonymous No.20322520]

>>20322459
whisky

[Anonymous No.20322530]

>>20322151
What font is that?

[Anonymous No.20322563]

>>20322530
looks like times new roman.

[Anonymous No.20322564]

>>20322530
Times new roman

[Anonymous No.20322594]

>I may have written my mc as gay
alacroix?

[Anonymous No.20322645]

>>20322594
I'm not sure what you're quoting but Mac is straight. Straight as a guy, straight as a girl. In addition to the very thinly veiled message that changing sex is impossible barring actual magic of some sort, the other very clear message is that you are your body. Your body physiologically reacts to stimuli and that is what generates your desires. It would be my guess that if we actually had magic to change people's sex so called trans people would also suffer body dysphoria in their new body as well. Because it was never about their body it was a mental illness from the start. Pimozide has shown efficacy treating it, but there's a lot more money surgically hacking people apart and putting them on hormones forever. More political capital behind it, too.

[Anonymous No.20322651]

>>20322645
>Pimozide has shown efficacy treating it
n=1

[Anonymous No.20322654]

>>20319841
You need to identify yourself, Hell Anon.
Just finished the new section.
Only a page or so, but still worth it.

[Anonymous No.20322668]

>>20322651
I'd personally recommend diet changes, getting more sunlight and exercise, and severely limiting computer time. And stay off discord. Maybe sprinkle in other anti schizophrenic medications as well.

[Anonymous No.20322678]

Post your current writing music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0e7rFdVYxE

[Anonymous No.20322684]

>>20322654
I think I pressed enter by accident. Thank you for reading so far Anon, I've been spending today doing some clean-up and heavy revisions on the first 20-30 or so pages. As I've gotten further in I realize the quality of my work has improved, but I don't want that to be in vain because the first leg of the story is sloppily formatted in such a manner that nobody gets to the good bits.

I'm moved that anyone has wanted to read this much of my work. I'm so motivated, thank you. Thank all of you, really. Today was a huge day for me, I'm nearly debt-free as of today and we're all going to make it.

[Anonymous No.20322707]

>>20322455
No thanks you ruined it.

[Anonymous No.20322728]

>>20322678
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxTfdiRQzlw

[Anonymous No.20322739]

>>20322060
Do the others on the list next thread.

[Anonymous No.20322753]

>>20322684
Hey, like I said, I can't guarantee anyone but me is gonna like it, but I like it.
I like toying around with metaphysical concepts, and am glad someone else does too.
FYI, I haven't reread the older parts. I guess, when you're done, I'll go back and read them, and be pleasantly surprised.

[Anonymous No.20322759]

>>20322645
>Your body physiologically reacts to stimuli and that is what generates your desires.
Too bad your MMO character doesn't physiologically do shit and you gave Mac an actual male body in the real world. Man's as gay as a San Francisco public toilet on pride weekend.

[Anonymous No.20322807]

>>20322759
Mac's male body in the real world is more like a grey, hairless, sexless thing after being there for years. I'll get into it more in the sequel when I change the mc to Wolfe and she's having psych issues because she hasn't had her period in months and she feels like she's been neutered. The computer, which she doesn't know is a computer ofc, tells her its normal and schedules her for a wellness visit, also on the computer with another computer she doesn't know is a computer but she thinks something is up.

The plot of that book is rats that literally worship yahweh and vampires that worship money are in the process of taking over the empire. One of the plotlines is she gets in a lesbian relationship with a vampire which, of course, is doomed to failure because lesbian relationships lead to nothing. She starts working at a hospital and basically gets baby crazy but because she's barren inside the grid and she can't have children outside of course, either. A big plotline is going to be resolving that.

[Anonymous No.20322869]

>>20322739
You can buy it

[Anonymous No.20322918]

How do I stop hating what I make?

[Anonymous No.20322948]

>>20322918
You don't. I have a story I hated and dropped, but the people I showed the first 2 chapters to ask about it the most. They don't like my new story as much.

[Anonymous No.20322985]

>>20322753
I'm working my ass off, so thank you... Really. Even if one person reads my story and enjoys it, that's enough for me. I think the next section here is actually going to be extremely good, I had several ideas that have been floating around for some time, but today I actually think I found the thread that ties them all together.

[Anonymous No.20323036]

>>20322645
>not sure what you're quoting
Someone brought that up in an old thread. At the sex scene after the bank business. Thought it might've been you.

[Anonymous No.20323059]

Any advice for this opening.

[Anonymous No.20323083]

I sold a book to a publisher, can I quit my job yet

[Anonymous No.20323104]

>>20323059
I don't mean to be cruel, but that was hot dogshit: As in, I don't know if I can give this proper critique as it was so insipid, the whole of it needs find it's way into the deep end of that pool and stay there. Earnestly, how old are you? ESL? How much do you read? Is this your first foray into writing?

[Anonymous No.20323105]

Serious answers only: Why are new authors so drawn to litRPG? Why not Isekai or generic fantasy?

[Anonymous No.20323128]

>>20323083
That'd have to be one hell of an advance.
Also, the real money is in selling the movie/TV rights, so no, not until then.

[Anonymous No.20323142]

Character arcs are important, yes. But you need to make sure your character actually changes in substantial ways. Like how the protagonist of my story starts as a kindhearted, innocent guy who just wants to know more about the world. And by the end, he's clearly lost a few marbles and all of his innocence.

[Anonymous No.20323155]

>>20323142
So, real life, basically.

[Anonymous No.20323228]

>>20323083
How do you write a query letter?

[Anonymous No.20323232]

>>20323228
>yo niggas publish deez nuts lmao

[Anonymous No.20323236]

>>20323142
One of my characters rebels against the church and authority in general when he's betrayed. It stays with him his whole life, culminating in him rebelling against his close friend (the king) and starting a civil war.
>>20323059
It's not dogshit, but the language choice is a little strange. It suffers also from the scene being static, but it's competently written. It feels like you very carefully picked every word for this scene. The end result is simply artificial and formulaic.
Advice, start with him at the bottom of the pool instead. Then have him come up to dry off, get wasted in the sun, and continue.

[Anonymous No.20323249]

>>20318266
Who said you had to write a heist to write about characters stealing stuff?

[Anonymous No.20323318]

>>20323036
nah that wasn't me. the only real rule for sex scenes is they need to be hot, and if you're including them in a novel they also need narrative and stylistic purposes. the one in Tasnanca after the bank does all of that. It sort of cements Macs relationship with Ishtar and then I snatch all that away the next chapter when everything seems to be going good. It solidifies in the mind of the reader that the mc is unequivocally different than at the start and the mc has come to terms with who she is. Mac sort of has a planet sized ego which is why the sense of self remains relatively so intact. Stylistically the number one sexual fantasy for women is rape, obviously not real rape, but the fantasy rape of an attractive stronger man taking charge and dominating. Then there's the deliberate focus on the foreskin in order to drive the message home to circumcised men that they are incomplete, the person who they are now is not who they should have been, they have been subjected to sexual violence and have been erased.

[Anonymous No.20323336]

>>20323318
Hey man it's not like I chose for the Jews to give me the ol snippy

[Anonymous No.20323371]

>>20323336
me either. that's one of the reasons I'm writing the book, to draw attention to the crimes of the jew. foreskin restoration works, it helps, but its glacially slow and your anger will grow each day you do it

[Anonymous No.20323381]

>>20323318
>the only real rule for sex scenes is they need to be hot
That is absolutely not true.

[Anonymous No.20323388]

>>20323381
because it's wrong or because there are more rules?

[Anonymous No.20323396]

>>20323371
You mean something like using a stretcher? I've started that recently, here's to hoping it helps somewhat

[Anonymous No.20323397]

>>20323388
A sex scene can be outright vile and still be a great addition to the plot if done correctly.

[Anonymous No.20323423]

>>20323397
absolutely fair enough, you're evoking completely different emotions with that sort of scene. now that I'm thinking about it a laid back scene with a slow insertion and a long heartfelt conversation, only to be interrupted by their 5 year old child walking in would also be nice and wholesome. scratch what I said I was thinking too small

>>20323396
it does. it just takes years. if I didn't know now what I've been missing out on my entire life I wouldn't be as upset about it as I am. and I still have a ways to go. keep at it, you will not regret it.

[Anonymous No.20323440]

>>20323318
lol

[Anonymous No.20323445]

>>20323423
>scratch what I said I was thinking too small
Yes you are. You need to embrace the comedy horror rape.

[Anonymous No.20323464]

>>20323445
like with clowns? 3 spooky 5 me

[Anonymous No.20323499]

>>20323155
It’s shown in how his physical appearance evolves over time and how he gets more powerful. He gets visibly more muscular, more scarred, his eyes start looking more aggressive, and his skin loses a lot of the brightness it once had.
He normally has these tiny spikes that are positioned in front of his elbow, pointing down his forearm. They’re small, around the size of his pinky finger. By the end, however, they’ve become the size of steak knives.
The reason he starts looking like this is because in the middle of the story, he undergoes an emergency transformation that makes him stronger, but at the cost of his sanity due to it being caused by a near death experience, like a “0.01% HP” near death. This is the big turning point, as even though he snaps out of it and gets most of his mind back, certain parts of the transformation haven’t faded from him at all, showing how he’ll never be able to undo what has happened to him.

[Anonymous No.20323659]

Stories about humans are overdone and trite. If you’re reading this, your next story must center around a spider.

[Anonymous No.20323672]

>>20323659
Mines got a mix of humans and furries. Is that OK?

[Anonymous No.20323680]

>>20323659
Oddly enough I do have spider aliens in my fantasy world. They weave webs out of people's memories to create a databank for their offspring.

[Anonymous No.20323684]

>>20323659
I love writing about goats and shit but people get so fucking confused so I made them human just for the sake of the readers ease.

Of course I don't care now but I had to make sure for the sake of the reader

[Anonymous No.20323723]

>>20323684
Goats are pretty much the best animal

[Anonymous No.20323745]

>>20323723
>>20323684
Love me some Damascus goats. They're all so ugly and smug.

[Anonymous No.20323771]

How does one subvert expectations in fantasy?

[Anonymous No.20323782]

>>20323771
Play everything straight. It's the most subversive trick of all.

[Anonymous No.20323828]

which is better?

>veteran and mentor character dies halfway through, everyone in the party must go on without his guidance and find their own way
or
>veteran and mentor character is captured and party must use all they have learned to defeat the antagonist and free their mentor

As I'm typing this out and putting it in the simplest terms, I find myself leaning towards the first option but would also really like the second to have everyone hardened and fighting alongside their mentor at the end. Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.20323863]

>>20323828
>1st option
Gandalf. Yes I know he cheats and comes back later
2nd option
How about that happens except he's a traitor pulling a fast one on everyone. Queuing up book 2.

[Anonymous No.20323864]

>>20323828
Neither. Both options are very cliche. Why not have the MC captured and the mentor digs deep into his experience to save the kids?

[Anonymous No.20323918]

>Have characters and a world
>Can't think of anything interesting that happens in the plot
Having things happen is always hardest for me, how do you all overcome this?

[Anonymous No.20323924]

>>20323918
If you have characters, you know what they want. Have them pursue these things. Other characters are in opposition, surely. Thus conflict is created.

[Anonymous No.20323937]

>>20323918
My plot is just a dude trying to start a chicken ranch. Stop overthinking it

[Anonymous No.20323943]

>>20323924
I suppose I worded that wrong. Obviously every character should want something, but if we assume start point A and end point Z, it's difficult for me to think up events that happen during B-Y. For example, I have a character that's searching for someone he wants to kill for revenge, what events do I come up with before that happens? There's also the fact that I want to give it something of an "episodic" feel of short arcs rather than a single long plotline, but I'm not sure where to get inspiration for what happens in each of these episodes

[Anonymous No.20323945]

>>20323943
>Character A goes to place X
>meets character B
>what happens when these two specific people meet in this specific location?
If you REALLY have characters, you should be able to answer this.

[Anonymous No.20323951]

>>20323945
I don't see what you're saying.

[Anonymous No.20323966]

>>20323951
I'll use For a Few Dollars More as an example.
>Clint Eastwood rides to town
>Lee Van Cleef is there
>they're both after the same bounty
>they both want the other to back off
>conflict ensues
Get it? Character A wants something. Character B wants something. They both perceive the other as an obstacle. How do they handle the situation?
If you have actual characters, you will know how they would handle an obstacle. So just write that.

[Anonymous No.20323970]

>>20323059
this reads is like a parody of the english language

[Anonymous No.20323971]

>>20323966
I don't think you're understanding what I'm asking at all but thanks anyway

[Anonymous No.20323975]

>>20323828
option 2 except the mentor dies duh

[Anonymous No.20324001]

>>20323971
You asked how to fill the plot with events. The answer is that all events flow out of your characters. What do they want? How do they respond to one another? How are their wants and needs in conflict? This is how the events of your plot are created.
This is simple, yet you ignore the advice. Why? Why do you ignore it?
>I have a character that's searching for someone he wants to kill for revenge, what events do I come up with before that happens?
CHARACTER A WANTS TO KILL CHARACTER B. CHARACTER A GOES TO LOCATION X. CHARACTER C IS IN LOCATION X. WHAT DOES CHARACTER C WANT? IS CHARACTER C IN OPPOSITION TO CHARACTER A? DO THEY SHARE A GOAL?
You say you have characters and a world. You already have your protagonist's main goal set up. He's looking for someone. He goes somewhere to do that. While he's looking, he runs into another character. You said you have characters and a world. Use them. He meets a character, in a place. You have characters and a world. You can fill in who the character is and where this happens. What happens between them? Is this character in opposition to the MC or on their side? If you have a character, you know that. I don't know because I don't have access to your brain.
Just write what happens when they meet. This is how you create your episodes. Go from location to location, trailing behind the revenge target. Meet people. They all want something. They all have a motivation for their actions. What are those motivations, what are those actions? How do they interact with the MC? This is your plot. This is how you fill your story.
Please stop being obtuse. This is extremely simple. I don't know how much more simple I can make it. If you don't understand even now, maybe you were never looking for advice and just wanted attention.

[Anonymous No.20324019]

>>20323918
>>20323943
Just do it in the form of multiple short stories, each containing a complete (but short) narrative.
>short story 1: Character A's revenge
>short story 2: Character B and C pursue romance
>short story 3: significant international conflict

If you want it to be more involved, just scatter elements of an overarching plot throughout all your stories and have them all tie together at some point.

[Anonymous No.20324035]

>>20324001
This is vastly undersimplifying writing and basically every conflict both real and imagined, but again, you are misunderstanding my question. So for example, let's say Character A gets in a car crash. It's enough to know Character A's personality and springboard off of this. This is not what I'm asking. I'm asking how to get inspiration for "what happens", in this example being the car crash. Not every event in a story is going to be two characters interacting, much less ones that have goals that coincide.

[Anonymous No.20324052]

>>20324035
I'm trying to keep it simple for your benefit but if you're going to be dismissive of someone trying to help you, you are free to do so.
>car crash
Why is this car crash happening? What purpose does it serve? Is the character now incapacitated for the rest of the story? Was this crash intentional or an accident?
You need to be asking yourself these questions. If it was just a random car crash that has no bearing on anything, it's just pointless filler and you don't need it to happen.

[Anonymous No.20324058]

>>20324052
Again, you are completely ignoring my question

[Anonymous No.20324060]

>>20324058
I think you're just trolling me at this point.

[Anonymous No.20324063]

>>20322707
No.

He ruined YOU.

[Anonymous No.20324096]

>>20318604
I wrote a very long story about an anon who made his own world within this world (our actual world).
But, because I covered good and bad things of our "real" world happening in the anon's created world I have been worried about posting it due to some things being kind of heinous.

The story initially is just the thoughts of the anon as the narrator, but then due to the anon being "god" in his world
> (remember ancient texts imply our words for "god" were a direct translation for "creator" or "engineer" or "craftsman" and that "God" referenced the creator of all)
he then narrates other characters thoughts and actions. (Basically the writer is writing a writer who is writing/programming a story and narrating the whole thing).

The first chapter when I reread it had a lot of grammatical errors but was mostly understandable, but because it took me easily 12hrs+ to reread I just continued writing the rest of the story.

Some image boards allow posting of different types of files that aren't images, but I don't know of any sure fire ways of posting this gigantic thing I wrote anonymously.
So thus, I don't know if anyone will ever read it other than me.

[Anonymous No.20324100]

>>20318605
>>20324096
If somehow my M-Disc back up lasts billions of years in some sort of perfectly preserved state, I hope they get confused and assume my story was real and have epiphanies because of it.

[Anonymous No.20324126]

>>20320471
Idk about him, but I piggy back off history and things I have experienced or thought about at other times.
With easily 100 wpm typing speed, I feel like I end up writing too much at times.
I don't think what I wrote is well written though, sometimes I realized how I narrate it can get confusing.
Maybe I should write it where each character's name is first mentioned as if a script for a movie/play.

[Anonymous No.20324151]

>>20323918
When I write, it's almost always about what I am seeing or experiencing IRL.
That, or I write about the characters are doing based on their personalities based off logic.
As if I am playing chess with myself.
> Char A actions that fit his personality influence the actions of Char B

Maybe I am autistic, but I sometimes write chapters/arcs in visual studio in a type of pseudo code so that I avoid plot holes and plot armor and other potentially illogical things.

[Anonymous No.20324191]

>participate in a writing contest
>don't even get an honorable mention
I guess this is it. I am literally NGMI if I can't even win a shitty contest. I've read the works of all the winners for the past two years and they were so terrible I thought I was guaranteed to win.
There's no point in even dreaming of publishing a novel if I can't do even this much. Fucking hell what a worthless life. How do you assholes cope with this?

[Anonymous No.20324200]

>>20324191
>how do you assholes cope with this?
Writing isn't my job.

Plus if the contest was hosted by leftists, there is a good chance the judges might have been extremely biased.

[Anonymous No.20324211]

>>20324200
>Writing isn't my job.
Nor is it mine. And it never will be. The only thing in life I have passion for is beyond me. It sucks.
>judges might have been extremely biased
The judges were given the stories under pseudonyms to prevent just that. The only explanation is that I'm just that much worse than the others.
Life is a fuck.

[Anonymous No.20324229]

>>20324211
Don't feel down anon, if you enjoyed your story, then ultimately life should be good.
I have a story that I think is good, but wouldn't be good to people who are not as knowledgeable and wise as me.
So maybe I'll try to post it before I die or something.

[Anonymous No.20324318]

>>20324096
Throw it up on catbox and post link.
>>20324211
Maybe they just didn't "get it."

[Anonymous No.20324337]

>>20323943
I mean, you could try writing his thoughts on how badly he wants it and how he's gonna plan things out. This would turn your revenge-driven character into an active one.
Plot points would be finding, asking for clues as to where the person is, devising a plan on how to kill em.
All the while have him interact with side characters that reveal things about him. Maybe he hears of a revenge-tale gone south, a tale where the vengeance actually feels satisfying. Or maybe the main character meets characters that soften him up and make him question his motive and I don't just mean wether it is right or wrong. maybe someone gives him an alternative way to live, a way out of this mess. perhaps the main character has found a new thing to care about.
Trust me anon, like the others said, knowing the characters motive is key to writing interesting scenarios that put a certain aspect of the main character in certain light.
Maybe have him be confronted on his ideals, have it be encouraged or put nuance into it.

[Anonymous No.20324350]

>>20324211
Did they give you criticism? If so, what was it? Do you agree with it?
Remember writng is a skill fren, you gotta work on it. Keep going, mate. I have faith in you.

[Anonymous No.20324361]

>>20320817
Isn't that Chuck Tingle's whole schtick?

[Anonymous No.20324399]

>>20324191
>>20324211
>The only explanation is that I'm just that much worse than the others.
The measure is not whether it's good. The measure is whether the judges like it.
This is partly about objective quality—your story should not be full of typos. But it's also about taste. If your taste doesn't match the judges' tastes then it's not the contest for you, even if you're the next Nabokov. It doesn't matter how skilled you are if you're going in the wrong direction.
You say the past winners were terrible. What was terrible about them? Was there a pattern? Could the things that made you dislike them possibly make other people like them?

[Anonymous No.20324428]

>>20324350
>Did they give you criticism?
Oh you sweet summer child. You learn you didn't win by looking at the list of winners and realizing that while you were waiting they already received their prices. They don't contact losers, nobody has time for losers. Why would anyone waste their time giving criticism to hundreds of retards?

[Anonymous No.20324451]

I had the strangest idea for a story that I've been thinking of recently. A bunch of corporate-focused humanoid aliens come down to earth and suck up all the private property from humans secretively. Instead of it becoming a typical hellscape everything is relatively normal, though there is an increasing number of strange markets popping up for things such as face massagers, analog technology, pancake pressers, etc. Each alien could come across as on the spectrum with their interests, with their only physical identifiers being certain bodyparts having a tendency to be oddly shaped and an uncomfortable need to CONSOOM.

[Anonymous No.20324476]

>>20318590
How do I know when to press the enter key? In third person I roughly know when someone else is talking but what about monologues? And what about a first person novel? I was reading this Sanderson passage >>20324162 and it seems like its arbitrary. Some guides or links to help would be good thanks!

[Anonymous No.20324505]

>>20324476
You largely do it by feeling, unfortunately. A new paragraph creates a mental pause. That pause can do many things—it can give the sense that some time passes, or it can imply the subject matter changes, or it can mark the end of a complete thought, or emphasize the words at the end of the paragraph.
Sanderson's prose isn't great, so he might not be the right writer to learn from, but let's analyze your excerpt anyway.
- The first paragraph gives a very general description.
- The second paragraph describes something the narrator did before. This is not part of the general description. Try imagining if there were no paragraph break. That might feel worse, or better, but either way it should feel different.
- The third paragraph describes the atmosphere. This is not really connected to any particular moment, so it's again different in nature from the previous paragraph.
- The fourth paragraph describes current action. (Once again a shift.)
- The fifth paragraph also describes current action. The point of this paragraph break is to create a separation in time. First they listen; then they raise the rifle.
- The sixth paragraph might be separated from the fifth to create anticipation. But I personally think that's a mistake. The squeal would follow closely after the rifle shot, and this draws that moment out too long.

[Anonymous No.20324525]

I've reached a point where I can produce large quantities of text but have yet to discover how to increase the quality of it.

[Anonymous No.20324528]

>>20324525
I suffer the opposite problem.

[Anonymous No.20324726]

>>20324525
slow down. take your time. read everything out loud. read more poetry. read more in general. try to understand that the skill you've been trying to learn is not the skill of writing, which is to produce quality words. to to learn that instead, and do it from a new context.

[Anonymous No.20324819]

>>20323659
My spider story will be short and extremely distressing for my human characters.

[Anonymous No.20324830]

>>20323937
I vaguely remember you brainstorming this in a wg thread several months back. Something about a Chinaman and a felon starting a farm? If that's you I'm happy you're still writing it.
>>20324191
Most people in writing right now don't care about the prose or craft itself. It's about theme and message. If you can virtue signal hard enough with those, your prose can be mediocre at best and still win.

[Anonymous No.20324846]

>>20324830
>write convoluted purple prose
>have nothing to say, no theme and no message
Tell me, why would anyone read that?

[Anonymous No.20324862]

>>20324846
not that anon, but i don't know why anyone would read it. all i know is that what i want to read is written well before anything else. i'm incredibly bored with derivative, safe, commercial fiction. so again, i don't know why anyone would want to read that. i don't know why i want to read that. i just know that i do want to read and experience art, so that's what i write as well.

[Anonymous No.20324986]

>>20319686
I solved this by combining two scenarios:

1- AIs always need people to monitor them and to understand what the hell they are doing and thinking, because leaving a self-teaching AI on its own is a recipe for catastrophes, and I made sure to insist on that a lot while worldbuilding (there are always "AI control rooms" in derelict ships, for example. "History" is full of horror stories involving AIs)
2- The existence of a human interface for people to interact with the AIs made them very vulnerable to hackers. No one in their right mind would give control of a critical system to an AI because someone could just change it into a sabotage machine. (Again it works in my story because enemies are everywhere and the possibility of spies and sabotages is rampant.

The end result is that anything deploying AI must also spend lots of resources protecting the AI and protecting the people from the AI its deploying. Making it an unattractive option to 99% of the factions in my universe.

[Anonymous No.20325039]

>>20324451
That's not a story that's a documentary.

[Anonymous No.20325064]

>>20320073
I think a major difference is whether you're writing for fun and to share a story, or whether you're writing to publish and make shekels.
One of these comes with a lot of pressure.

[Anonymous No.20325188]

>>20325064
Professional writers are doing the creative equivalent of squeezing the last drops of toothpaste out of a tube. The grapes are sour and I do not want to eat them.

[Anonymous No.20325208]

>>20325064
this is a pretty self-gratifying way of looking at it. a more realistic, and accurate way of looking at it would be how much you care about the quality of your work. i bet commercial writers are usually pretty easygoing about it. nobody knows better than they how trivial is the standard for what succeeds commercially. these are the guys who can merrily just type away, without thinking about it too much, and end up with 2000 words a day. contrast with someone like joyce, who averaged something like 17 words a day over the time he was writing ulysses. the difference is how much you ultimately give a shit about quality. if you don't care, sure, it can be fun. if you care about the quality of your writing, it can be agonizing, because you are constantly trying to improve your shit against a standard for which there is no objective metric. it's just your taste and skill level leapfrogging each other in a vacuum.

[Anonymous No.20325278]

>>20325064
I am writing because it's the most authentic feeling thing I can think to do. I want to finish my story and publish it and leave something that I can point to and say I finished. If I make enough to buy one fruit gummy I'll feel successful.

[Anonymous No.20325286]

>>20323659
My story is about giant monsters

[Anonymous No.20325427]

>>20325208
>contrast with someone like joyce, who averaged something like 17 words a day over the time he was writing ulysses
It always blows my mind remembering just how long it took him to get Portrait finished, much less Ulysses. He only did 4 novels and cemented himself as one of the most important authors of the 20th century. There are people out there with half his age and 10 times his books. I wonder if anyone will remember them?

[Anonymous No.20325631]

>>20323249
Wait, what?

[Anonymous No.20325654]

Why don’t you spend your time learning to do something useful?

[Anonymous No.20325703]

>>20325654
I already know how to mend my own clothes. That's pretty useful.

[Anonymous No.20325732]

First draft is done lads. 22k words ready and waiting to sit on my hard drive for months until I work up the courage to edit.

[Anonymous No.20325813]

>>20323918
I don't. I daydream about my characters and muse about whether I should write a story with them, but every time I try to pen a plot out I find that it doesn't fit the characters and I swiftly give up.

[Anonymous No.20325969]

>>20325732
What's 22k words long?

[Anonymous No.20325986]

>>20325969
Your mammy's gibbering orgasm cries as I plow that pearl into the mud.

[Anonymous No.20326002]

>>20325986
No I mean is it called a novella or a novelette or what

[Anonymous No.20326013]

>>20326002
<500: drabble
500-1k: flash fiction
1k-8k: short story
8k-20k: novelette
20k-40k: novella
40k-60k: light novel
60k+: novel

[Anonymous No.20326021]

>>20326013
Thank you sir.

[Anonymous No.20326061]

>>20325631
People can steal things without a huge, planned heist. A guy with a glock robbing a convenience store is not a heist. A spy can infiltrate an organization, gain access to secret information and then get out with the data. That is also not a heist.

[Anonymous No.20326250]

>>20325986
Uncalled for lad

[Anonymous No.20326283]

>>20322060
Thank you for your purchase!

[Anonymous No.20326348]

>>20318590
I feel like everything I write just sounds like shit.

[Anonymous No.20326356]

>>20326348
But it's written. Then you can edit it to sound better.

[Anonymous No.20326381]

Why do you write without having read everything there is to read? How do you know you haven’t written anything redundant?

[Anonymous No.20326406]

>>20326381
>How do you know you haven’t written anything redundant?
Impossible to know so you should just stop caring

[Anonymous No.20326468]

How do I write happy family interactions as someone who grew up in an abusive home?

Can I copy from fiction and hope nobody looks too closely?

[Anonymous No.20326470]

I love to write, but I don't like reading and I feel like that makes my writing worse because I've not consumed enough writing to know how to do it well. Is simply forcing myself to read more the only solution?

[Anonymous No.20326523]

>>20326468
Don't copy others, just think about what are ideal family interactions to you

[Anonymous No.20326524]

>>20326470
Yes. Just read something fun or something you wouldn't ordinarily read (outside preferred genre, fiction and nonfiction)

>>20326381
>How do you know you haven’t written anything redundant?
I increasingly feel these kind of endless whines are just defense mechanisms by people to be lazy and not write - or not work on writing craft.

[Anonymous No.20326645]

>>20326470
I was in the Accelerated Reader program back in the 90s.
Due to a false accusation, I ended up reading a lot more than normal for a 3rd grader and reached a "college" reading level before 4th grade. I've always aced any short stories we had to write, or essays, and later on argumentative essays for college "core" writing classes.
I've read enough, books, and also seeing people write online I am the type that can usually complete (with high accuracy) the sentences of others.
So when I write fiction or philosophy for myself, I feel that whatever sentence I may write is very similar to sentences I have seen before.

>forcing myself to read more the only solution?
>tldr
Probably.

[Anonymous No.20326668]

>>20326645
Yeah, during school, I was in all kinds of gifted programs and whatnot and I've always been told I wrote very well. After I left school, though, I've stopped reading as much, so I really worry if that's affected my writing abilities. I guess I'll just read more.

[Anonymous No.20326698]

>>20326470
Reading is vital. You can force yourself if you have to, but ideally you should find things you actually like reading.
What do you like to write? What have you tried to read?

[Anonymous No.20326704]

Im fascinated by Jin Roh. But how do I write about a bunch of Nazis and make them heroic?

[Anonymous No.20326741]

>>20326698
Seriously? I can't just watch movies and play games?

[Anonymous No.20326754]

>>20318590
What are some books of someone who just became immortal yet the world is otherwise the same?

[Anonymous No.20326755]

>>20326704
>But how do I write about a bunch of Nazis and make them heroic?
Wouldn't you just write them truthfully then?

[Anonymous No.20326762]

>>20326698
>What do you like to write?
I've written low fantasy before, and right now I'm writing a cyberpunk story.
>What have you tried to read?
I love Berserk (not literature, but still something you read), I tried reading the Wheel of Time, but I learned I didn't like that genre of fantasy, I read Blood Meridian, and I was reading Neuromancer until something happened and I had to take a break from it for a little while; I'm thinking of picking it back up eventually. I'd like to read The Great Gatsby and try LOTR again after not liking it as a kid. In general, whether it's movies, games, or manga, I tend to like things with very thick atmosphere, and I try to convey that in my writing.

[Anonymous No.20326782]

>>20326755
No. Nazis are evil and committed atrocities that should never be replicated

[Anonymous No.20326790]

>>20326754
I wrote something that might interest you...

The MC with the aid of AI processing finds a way to make himself biologically immortal, the catch is that he is only biologically immortal.
So during the story after multiple societal collapses and wars that send humanity back to the stone age, he still retains all the technology and experiences from his era.
He ends up watching the cycle of humanity a few times, until he realizes obvious things that are causing this destructive cycle, and then attempts to break the cycle.
He eventually ends up becoming deified, but still can't break humanity's cycle.
I got very philosophical with it at times, and the MC eventually becomes religious himself and worships THEE Creator as the MC is ashamed that the current people assume him to be "the creator".
The story is very long, as I write out his life of roughly 20k years (I won't spoil it too much, because he IS biologically immortal).

I've been hesitant to post it though because some things we are not allowed to talk about, and I probably spoiled the whole story, so my bad.

[Anonymous No.20326793]

>>20326782
Wait I am getting confused, are we talking about Paleo Nazis of Germany, or the Neo Nazis of Ukraine?

[Anonymous No.20326821]

>>20326793
Paleo Nazis of Germany

[Anonymous No.20326848]

>>20326790
I was thinking more grounded. Like a guy just stopped aging and that's the sole difference between that world and this one. Yours still sound interesting, but it wasn't what I exactly had in mind.,

[Anonymous No.20326878]

>>20320164
>https://pastebin.com/URyCT3vr

What is it really about, anon? It's quite confusing. The first paragraph or dialogue/speech by the doctor is just all over the place and doesn't ring true, that a doctor would sit and insult the patient. I don't think it works.

The other paragraph may have a poetic sensibility but it's also what we call purple prose. It feels excessive and it doesnt' say much if anything. You can have a poetic sensibility with much leaner prose, so try cutting back to the essential.

[Anonymous No.20326898]

>>20326741
I know you're trolling, but you'd be surprised how many writers think this way.

[Anonymous No.20326902]

Does anyone have experience with writing story analysis? Can anyone give pointers on that? I want to start writing about various things, from film to literature, but always find myself getting stuck when it comes to trying to formulate my ideas and take notes on the subject.

[Anonymous No.20326924]

>>20323059
It's not too bad, anon.

There's some awkward phrasing though. What is "bullnose coping?" What is "lowered into the sighing water indistguishable from his skin?"

You mean he lowered HIMSELF into the water SIGHING? As for the water (I guess) being indistinguishable from his skin, I don't think so.

"Vinyl liner floor" is also too much and confusing. Just say the bottom of the swimming pool.

Likewise "light blue pool" is excessive and so is "pale tile". No need for so many adjectives. Neither do you have to say "sunny summer morning" because summer mornings are sunny by default.

Why is it "cool and quiet dark" when a moment ago you'e got "refracted sunlight" going through the water and it's a sunny morning?

Lastlly, I would not use his name and simply use "he" until there's a reason to introduce his name.

[Anonymous No.20326927]

>>20323083
how much did you get?

[Anonymous No.20326979]

https://pastebin.com/wkzd8xAB

Wrote this today, have to edit it still.
But I'm looking for feedback.

[Anonymous No.20327050]

I completed this today, after a handful of edits. Would love feedback.

https://pastebin.com/Uh78X0Nt

[Anonymous No.20327120]

I write poetry like this. It's not very good, but it helps me cope:

A desolate field

plain

scattered stars

lives lived

lifes mysteries

unknown

broken into pieces

my heart yearns

to follow after

a way of life that's not my own

it has to be mine

who else could claim it

but there is nothing out there for me

no one knows anybody anymore

clutching scared

my golden pride

the walls are made of mirrors

no light to see my way

no faces to see in those reflections

your mind

your heart

why do they mean so much to me

I don't even know who you are

[Anonymous No.20327158]

Eh, pretty slow day today. 800 and it’s time to go to work. But, hey, that’s something!

[Anonymous No.20327182]

>>20326704
Read about the Rape of Nanking. The Nazi ambassador there literally saved the most lives out of anyone involved in a bizarre twist of history.

[Anonymous No.20327200]

>>20326878
>it doesnt' say much if anything
It says quite a bit. I could go through, line by line, and explain everything, but that'd ruin the fun. There's nothing uglier than a thing explicitly stated. That is my opinion and my taste and it's axiomatic to my values as a reader and a writer. What it's "really about" is completely up to you. I am probably dead, and my idea on the "meaning" is as good as yours. Let me rest.
>>20322063
>Have you ever in your life asked what your illness was?
All the time. It's absolutely the point, but there's a difference between making a point and beating someone to death with that point. I'll have to find the balance. I'm really glad that you read it out loud and got the impression that I cared a lot about the way it was to be read, because I did, and I do. It might make nominally more sense, or certain patterns might become more apparent, with knowledge of the 30-odd thousand words prior to these passages. I'm more concerned with modulating patterns than I am with making sense. I get that this probably means nobody will ever read what I write, but I've only got so long to work on the things I care about so fuck it. Thank you fren, and I will take your input into account for sure, especially WRT flow and metre.

[Anonymous No.20327222]

>>20326704
You could just take the appearance and let go of everything else. How much would the characters resemble Nazis beyond a superficial level? Are they literal Nazis?

[Anonymous No.20327242]

>>20327050
Mmm I think it needs some work.
I can see some technical problems like tense shifting, passive voice, pov shifting, I see telling rather than showing, there are some logical holes (a king of 180 ppl? Is he wearing armor indoors?), sentence structure problems. In short there are some problems.

I think the idea is interesting. And I like the characters and world so far.
There is a spark here, but needs to be refined a bit.

Would suggest reading some books on the technical stuff on writing (they helped me a stuff) I.e First your write a sentence and Several Short Sentences about Writing were goods books imo.

[Anonymous No.20327252]

>>20327242
Thank you so much for this. I'll write this down in some notes for later.

[Anonymous No.20327292]

>>20327050
For the love of all that is holy - stop using semicolons.

Agree with the other anon's summary, one practical learning suggestion would be to watch Brandon Sanderson's lecture on description-the one where be talks about the pyramid of abstraction. Could have some helpful topics for you.

[Anonymous No.20327307]

>>20327292
>watch Brandon Sanderson's lecture

[Anonymous No.20327316]

>>20327292
Learn to write.

[Anonymous No.20327338]

>>20327307
Regardless of what you think of his writing ability, he's a solid teacher who clearly understands how to write. He's got good technical skill, which is the issue at hand.

[Anonymous No.20327346]

>>20327307
sanderson explains the technical nature of telling stories competently. he understands te mechanical components very well. unfortunately, perhaps as a result, his books seem like they're written by a bricklayer following blueprints

[Anonymous No.20327355]

>>20327346
yeah he's more technician or engineer than he is a writer. people seem to like that, but unless you want to learn technique and engineering formulas there's probably no reason to pay all that much attention to him.

[Anonymous No.20327358]

>>20327346
Occasionally he can put out something that feels like it had some inspiration behind it, but a lot of the time his writing feels like there was a cool idea, but then he boiled down the cool idea to the base components and didn't make much more than the most basic thing with them.

[Anonymous No.20327373]

1 Month.

>4 Kindle Digital books
>22 Paperbacks

Did I make it bros?

[Anonymous No.20327377]

>>20327373
Hell yeah you did, well done lad

[Anonymous No.20327386]

>>20327373
I am still shocked at the kindle downloads to paperbacks. Maybe it makes sense due to the fact that a lot more people clearly don't have kindles. How many pages read on KU?

[Anonymous No.20327400]

>>20327373
Hot damn, good job emilyanon! Did you directly post it on kindle just like that, or did you advertise it anywhere, except talking about it here, ofc?

[Anonymous No.20327405]

>>20327373
I’m sorry anon but you could have done much better. This will fall into the category of books that will only ever sell sub 1,000 copies.

[Anonymous No.20327419]

>>20327400
Talked about it here, Facebook, work, and just shilled it wherever I could for free.

[Anonymous No.20327434]

>>20327419
Facebook meaning you just shilled it to your friends / people you've added or on specific FB pages? Appologies if its a retarded question, I'm on the cusp of rolling my own stuff out so I'm looking for anything that can help me shill my shit

[Anonymous No.20327442]

>>20327386
>43
Oh well got their money
>>20327405
Oh please it'll be sub 100. But I have about 40 years left to live. I still need to put it on Goodreads and shill it there.

To be honest I'm sure most of my sales are from friends,family and coworkers,but I'm hoping for a good 3 sales outside. 1 anon here bought one. So just 2 more.

[Anonymous No.20327446]

New thread is up: >>20327443

[Anonymous No.20327464]

>>20327434
Just friends and family.
Twitter was useless. I even posted on those "recommend me books" twits. Don't think I got a single sale. Lots of bots and freelance editors messaging me though.

4chan I got 1 sale from fun posting

The library I got 2 sales from the Vancouver Public Library from their "local author support"

And others just shilled like crazy.

[Anonymous No.20327616]

So, one of my secondary characters has this character arc where he is prejudice against transhumans, furries mainly.
He's sort of a /pol/ type character.
His arc includes him becoming more accepting of others as the story progresses.
In the story, it's 300 years in the future and people can legit become a cat person or a fox person, etc. Their kids will even breed true. The transhuman's DNA is altered.
What are some ways to avoid offending the furry community?
I'm thinking of changing "transhuman" to "althuman" to avoid offending the trans community.
Transexuals are accepted in this world. Some people change sexes two or three times a year and it's not surgery but it's something at the DNA level.

[Anonymous No.20327625]

>>20327616
Transhuman is a more umbrella term for any sort of going beyond normal human (genetic alteration, cybernetics, etc.) so using something else just for that is probably valid, as for avoiding offending furries... Don't really bother? They're a weird sort, and they either won't care about your book or will enjoy the arc of a character getting over his prejudice.

[Anonymous No.20327647]

>>20324428
>sweet summer child
reddit
>>20324451
so, the chinese
>>20324846
it worked for james joyce, somehow
>>20326790
aw, i wanna see that! i like metaphysical shit.
>>20327386
>don't have kindles
u can read amazon e-books online, in their "cloud reader"

[Anonymous No.20327771]

How do I actually pace myself and build a story up instead of blowing my load and rushing to write the "cool scene" I had in mind?

[Anonymous No.20327856]

>>20327771
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXwvLTXNbvU

3 act structure
you spread your story out over the 3 acts, using your "cool scene" as one of the plot points. You'll need a few more good scenes too.

[Anonymous No.20328115]

Aren't you glad book publishers take into account the things that MATTER about your stories?

[Anonymous No.20328130]

>>20327242
>passive voice
Not a mistake. Stop repeating regurgitated advice.

>>20327292
>stop using semicolons
This general is fucking garbage.

[Anonymous No.20328170]

>>20328130
Not that anon, but his use of semicolons were fucking abysmal. You cannot misuse three semicolons over the course of two sentences and expect people not to notice.

[Anonymous No.20328239]

>>20326898
>>I know you're trolling
H-hahahaha, yeah, you found me out anon.