/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2031505]

I realized today that I am the Godless Tolstoy, and none of you can stop me. You see, I've been planning this destruction for a while. You cool kids might call this e-book revolution a trick of the cards, but this game was rigged from the start. Don't you even realize my name is an acronym?

And an epitaph, for the prolonged throes of Western civilization. I see your canon. I see your Bloom. And they sicken me, so that at nights I have my maid rub my chest instead of my feet like she usually does. You could call this a steady change in course of events, but I don't care what you call it, because you're dead men. That's right /lit/, my name is Tao Lin and I am going to kill every single one of you in the second alternative ways, barring physical death. Time, my "friends", time.

Why does the octopus change to fruity colors before destroying his prey? You might compare this analogy to what I am doing to you now, but these matters need no rhyme or reason. They are a product of your capitalist society, your bourgeois, your failed attempt at Übermensch. You're fortunate you got out of bed and made a god damn bowl of Cheerios this morning.

It does not end here plebes, I am watching, waiting, but I've already learned your last straw...

[Anonymous No.2031614]

Yarksham I am enraged

[Anonymous No.2031618]

fuck you tao

[Anonymous No.2031622]

Bitch nigga

[Anonymous No.2031628]

>That feel when I join mumuhouse and aid Tao Lin in /lit/'s destruction.

[Anonymous No.2033451]

LET'S GET THIS SHIT STARTED

>tao rand

[Anonymous No.2033459]

what is this thread?

[Anonymous No.2033475]

Please, guys, let's discuss this seriously. Any Asian-American can tell you that "Tao Lin" is a complete troll. He's like JT Leroy. The books are written by Megan Boyle.

[Anonymous No.2033479]

First off, a real Chinese-American would know his name should be "Lin Tao". Any Chinese-American--but especially one who claims to be Taiwanese, as "Tao Lin" does---would instantly therefore be tempted to respond "Who Lin Tao?" as a joke on the name of the current premier of Red China, Who Jin Tao rather than "Lin Tao".

But anyone who actually speaks Mandarin knows that "Tao Lin" loosely translates as "The Way of the Lotus"---i.e., a metaphor for Opium, which has played such an important part in the history of China, and especially its interactions with the west.

I know somebody who knows Megan Boyle---she told me that after Megan read "M. Butterfly" for her freshman women's studies class, she came up with the idea for a conceptual art hoax in which she showed that Orientalism has rendered the idea of the "Oriental male" indistinguishable from the traditional "women's methods" of writing.

Seriously: look at "Tao Lin's" influences. They're all traditionally "female" writers (Lorrie Moore, Lydia Davis) and even the title "Richard Yates" is intended as a commentary on what it must be like to be a male writer who tried seriously to comprehend what it felt like when a woman has an illegal abortion (in Revolutionary Road).

I mean come on, it's no accident that it's only one letter away from "TRO LIN", that his audience seems to be mostly based on 4chan or at least come here frequently, and that "Tao Lin" is as publicity-hungry as "JT Leroy" was a decade ago.

You heard it here first, from an Asian-American Anon who doesn't think this "Tao Lin" hoax is funny.

Come out of the conceptual art hoax closet, Megan Boyle. Throw the "Tao Lin" towel in, "Tao Lin". Just reveal yourself already in Vice magazine, who will be only to pleased to note that their "drug cartoonist" has had an opium-related pen name all this time, but alas their readers spoke no Mandarin.

[Anonymous No.2033489]

>>2033479
good thread just got better

[Anonymous No.2033492]

you are trying way too hard, Tao

[Anonymous No.2033497]

>>2033479
what is the point of the tao lin hoax?

[Anonymous No.2033498]

>>2033479
i wonder if you could get gawker to believe this

[Anonymous No.2033503]

>>2033479
Wow, dude, that's really convincing. You're pretty cool, eh?

[Anonymous No.2033510]

>>2033479

Why should his name be Lin Tao? DO surnames come first in China?

How has Orientalism rendered the Chinese male the same as a woman?

[Anonymous No.2033520]

>>2033479
I think most of that isn't true.

[Anonymous No.2033523]

I get it. You wanted to waste my time and you did. Well played.

[Anonymous No.2033537]

>>2033523

Was JT Leroy a waste of time? Ern Malley? Benjamin Wilkomirski? Does no-one read The Bickerstaff Papers, or Go Ask Alice these days? Are Alan Sokal, and Maria Monk, and Ossian really so soon forgotten? Has Chatterton's legendary slughorn been silenced?

You can learn a lot about literature from a good literary hoax. Like "Tao Lin".

[Anonymous No.2033545]

>plebes
>he thinks the word is pronounced "plebe-ians" and not "pleb-ians"

It's plebs, you pleb.

[Anonymous No.2033562]

>>2033479

The president's name is 胡锦涛, or Hú Jǐn tāo.
Tao Lin's name likely 陶林, or Táo Lín, or Lín Táo if you switch it. Nobody cares though.

Surnames come first in Chinese. Both 陶 (Táo) and 林 (Lín) are perfectly legitimate surnames. I honestly don't know, but I'm pretty sure Chinese people are a lot more creative with first names. You can't really make an argument that the guy can't be named either Tao Lin or Lin Tao.

[Anonymous No.2033576]

>>2033562
Never mind, I'm stupid. Guy's Chinese name is 林韬.

[Anonymous No.2033587]

>>2033576

Yeah, and "his" "American" "name" is "Megan Boyle".

Seriously. Has anyone seen a courtship and marriage that swift, and that well-publicized, since Gertrude and Claudius? The revelation of their grand hoax is imminent, as soon as the obliging House of Melville agrees on the details of the press release.

[Anonymous No.2033718]

>my name
>filename
>tru story

[Anonymous No.2033728]

>>2033545

ya blew it

[Anonymous No.2033740]

>>2033587
I think he's a real person who wrote books that I like.

[Anonymous No.2033858]

ugh, please go away. take zachary german with you.