Writing segment I have been working on

[Anonymous No.2011800]

Hey there /lit/, I have been writing for over two years now some fantasy sci-fi. I am nearing the completion of the fourth and final novel in the series, so editing/finding a publisher will be upcoming. I just thought I would pass this by you guys and receive some criticism.

Linkie:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/114YoSfPCSNMRgPjiK1SHfGkOdtSYo_k6TbUyMZ7voP0/edit?hl=en_US

Thank you so much for your time and input.

[Anonymous No.2011810]

>>2011800
Before even the first word of the story,you spelled prologue wrong. If that ain't a bad omen.

[Anonymous No.2011813]

>PROLOUGE

Bahahaha, NOPE.

[Anonymous No.2011816]

>>2011810

[Anonymous No.2011817]

Op here

>>2011813
>>2011810

Thank you for pointing that out. I have not looked it over for editing yet, so I presume that is an understandable mistake as I have made very many.

[d4rk000kingof/mu/ !!TlP6M7PkNVH No.2011819]

I tried to give this a decent hearing OP, but I honestly can't be fucked reading something called "The Chaos-Berry Tales." I can't say the little I read was very good, but then it's fantasy AND sci-fi so what was I expecting right? I had a droll little chuckle at the notion that someone would spend two years writing four full novels devoted to their own artistically-bankrupt daydreams, then I moved on. I guess that's why they call it fantasy, and why so many loathe it, its because it always reads like the self-indulging shit that lazy nerds dream about before going to sleep, and you know, anyone with a brain can dream their own fantasies if they so choose.

[Anonymous No.2011822]

OP again

>>2011819

I suppose I can see where you are coming from. Would you perhaps have any particular criticism? I am willing to work hard to refine my writing.

[Anonymous No.2011835]

OP bump.

I really want to know what people think here, but I only want your honest opinions if you will read the entire thing. Is anyone willing to help me?

[Anonymous No.2011859]

"The commanding guard says with dutiful authority but with a look on his face like someone is using tickling magic on him." Really? Followed by a bullet-ed list of the items she is carrying? It's like you're trying to make me stop reading.

[Anonymous No.2011865]

>>2011859

Op here:
You didn't like that? I suppose I can see why you would not like it, but honestly I found the idea of tickling magic quite charming.

Thank you for your input regardless, I'll consider that in editing.

[Anonymous No.2011870]

Seems like there's a lot of trolls in here. I guess that's to be expected.

In any case, I really, really enjoyed this piece. Granted, there's a lot of backstory I don't understand, since I haven't read the other three novels, but the imagery and personality and sheer verve radiating from your work is extremely admirable. I think you've got something publishable on your hands.

[Anonymous No.2011877]

>>2011870

OP here

Thank you so much for your compliment. I suppose I should have mentioned this before, but this is actually a prologue I've been writing to take place before the actual novels. Sorry for not putting that out in my original post. That aside, do you have any additional feedback about the segment of writing? Good or bad, I would love to hear it!

[d4rk000kingof/mu/ !!TlP6M7PkNVH No.2011886]

> Granted, there's a lot of backstory I don't understand

>this is actually a prologue I've been writing to take place before the actual novels.

Ouch. I bet that hurt more than any troll, OP. Even the people that like your excremental writing don't have the slightest idea what you're faffing on about. What's 'tickling magic', btw? Because to me, the phrase and context makes me think of something homoerotic.

[Anonymous No.2011887]

>>2011886
You could at least TRY to mask your jelly.

[Anonymous No.2011889]

>>2011886
Actually, I thought the same with 'Tickling Magic'..

[Anonymous No.2011898]

>>2011886

Well, granted Mr. King, you raise an excellent question. Really, though it is a prologue of senses in a chronological order, I really considered it to be read after the other books. Of course, someone could read it out of order, but they would of course have more un-answered questions that would be addressed later in the story; I am not sure if that is good writing, but it seemed ok to me, and I hope the publishers will agree.

That aside, this takes place in a fantasy realm, condoning the use of magic, and using the narrational style I've selected, it being a very light-hearted one in tone, I thought it funny to add something like that in there. I do, however, see your point, and I will most-certainly reconsider the mention of "tickle magic" in the final manuscript.

Thank you.

[Anonymous No.2011908]

Bump, anyone else have input or ideas?

[Anonymous No.2011919]

Bump, my last, I need to get some sleep.

[Anonymous No.2012087]

lost me at the first three words: "It was a..."

[Anonymous No.2012088]

ill read it after GSL

[Anonymous No.2012094]

Your prose has a semblance of clarity and you write okay however I find the subject matter extremely lame and dull and probably wouldn't read more than what I did (the first two pages)

However this is indeed a market for this type of thing and you're likely to find an audience for it

Best of luck

[Anonymous No.2012110]

>>2011819
>I had a droll little chuckle at the notion that someone would spend two years writing four full novels devoted to their own artistically-bankrupt daydreams, then I moved on.

lol

[Anonymous No.2012130]

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All of my fucking why.