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/lit/ - Literature

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2009695 No.2009695 [Reply] [Original]

What if...Cormac McCarthy wrote the screenplay for a superhero film?

>> No.2009705

I can imagine hiim writing a super villain movie.
(which has never been done well)

>> No.2009708

what if Joseph Conrad wrote Spiderman 3?

>> No.2009722

What if Joseph Conrad wrote a war film?

>> No.2009751
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2009751

INT. BAT-INFESTED CAVE

[The camera casts a cold eye in tight focus upon BRUCE WAYNE, a Child of God much like yourself, perhaps.]

[In the shit-stained squalor of this atavistic lair, huge stuffed animals from a carnival fairground (a penguin, a cat with boobs) WAYNE is seen gibbering in a fit of necrophiliac lust, as he madly humps the rotting corpse of his muderered butler, ALFRED.]

WAYNE [V.O.]
Daddy always useta say, you can put your boots in the damn oven, boy, but that won't make 'em biscuits.

[WAYNE attains climax with a screech, which resounds off the speluncal stone, echoing toward the smokehole under which WAYNE cooked and ate ALFRED's foot.]

[Suddenly THOUSANDS OF BATS take wing simultaneously, flying out through the jagged aperture rent from the living rock of these Tennessee foothills. Wayne stops humping the corpse to pause, lupine, and stare at the vanishing vespertilian trail as it exits the smokehole against the light of the full moon.]

[When the bats were gone he watched the hordes of cold stars sprawled across the smokehole and wondered what stuff they were made of, or himself.]

[Then Commissioner Ed Tom Bell's BAT-SIGNAL appears against the full moon!]

WAYNE [puzzled, to ALFRED]
Trouble on the Mexican Border? It must be....The Jokgurh.

[ALFRED, understandably, says nothing.]

>> No.2009761

>>2009751
>slow clap

>> No.2009763

>>2009695
>>2009708
>>2009722

What if Zelda were a girl?

>> No.2009848
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2009848

>>2009763

mother of god

>> No.2010137

>>2009751
This is the kind of thing Frank Miller would have eventually ended up doing if they'd kept letting him direct movies

>> No.2010254

>>2010137

thank god that didn't happen . now he just does racist comic books. Sorry, patriotic comic books.