/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.20082947]

>wrote a eulogy for my family dog
I’m reading it at our family reunion this weekend with my cousins and aunts and uncles. He died a month ago after eating something poisonous, we think. Anyone want to read it and give me constructive crit?

[Anonymous No.20082983]

>>20082947
when my dog died I felt nothing

[Anonymous No.20083009]

dude they live like 10 years get over it. you remind me of my fucking dad, dude grieved more over his fucking dog than his dead niece

[Anonymous No.20083016]

>>20083009
My dad died and I also grieved him, much more. I was too grief stricken to write a eulogy for him or speak at the funeral though.

[Anonymous No.20083034]

>>20082947
"He wasn't simply a good boy. He was the best boy." - Anon

[Anonymous No.20083042]

>>20083009
niece was probably a dumb leftist whore. it makes perfect sense grieving a good animal more than you would grieve a modern degenerate human.
>oh nooo think of all the babies my slut niece could have aborted, think of potential wasted - she wanted to be a diversity hire HR roastie :'(
>think of how long our dear son would have lived in our basement, think of the 4chan posts he could have posted :'(

[Anonymous No.20083045]

>>20082947
Good eulogies often reflect on quotes by the deceased, may I recommend
>"woof woof bark woof bark bark woof bark"
I think it would be very moving.

[Anonymous No.20083047]

>>20083042
Self projecting much? Rope yourself.

[Anonymous No.20083048]

>>20083016
You should feel really bad about yourself. You weren't the only one grieving the loss, and it's very selfish that of you not to honor your father's memory

[Anonymous No.20083050]

>>20083047
cope faggot, I hope your entire extended family gets nuked

[Anonymous No.20083051]

>>20083009
I see you never had a dog. A real dog not some miniature joke of a dog.

[Anonymous No.20083054]

>>20083051
ive had several dogs, and theyre all dead, because dogs fucking die because they have a lifespan of 10 years. grow up.

[Anonymous No.20083061]

>>20083054
>grow up, start adulting like me
fucking kys posting this trash on a chinese cartoon board

[Anonymous No.20083062]

>>20083048
Nah, some people just can't cope. Let him have his peace.

[Anonymous No.20083084]

>>20083009
>>20083047
Nigga, you are the one projecting.

>>20083054
Not feeling a reasonable human emotion like grief over a loyal companion and one of God’s most pure creatures, such as a dog is evidence that you may be a bug or a LARPer.
>>20082947
Life and Death ought to be cherished and dealt with slowly both are hard to grasp and mysteries. If you rush the processing of either, it leads to mental illness as seen in the above mentioned posts.

[Anonymous No.20083121]

>>20082947
Reading or just laying around with the dog snuggled up next to you is peak comfy, they are wonderful companions. Mine is 13 years old and slowing down, I fear the final days might be approaching.

[Anonymous No.20083156]

>>20083121
m8 ur dug's a nazi

[Anonymous No.20083161]

>>20083054
You sound like a cunt who never walked his dog and kept it "Crate trained" 18 hours a day. Do us all a favor and don't get another dog, you don't understand the purpose of them and they suffer under your care.

[Anonymous No.20083164]

>>20083054
nigger your bait is shit. i will give you the (you) you desire though, to tell you that your bait is shit.

[Anonymous No.20084035]

“He was a sweet pea, and my only wish is that I could have given him one last smooch, one last cuddle before he popped his clogs and went to doggie heaven, where it is well known that there are mountains of steak and fried chicken to gorge on. This sweet pup will be in all our hearts forever, just as we were always caught in the clouds of his farts.”

[Anonymous No.20084044]

>>20083048
Stfu chink, not everyone is as emotionless as you

[Anonymous No.20084052]

>>20083048
Don’t be a jackass op is clearly young as shit
>>20083016
I’m sorry about your dog, but this will come across as super weird to your family and having a dog eulogy is weird.

[Anonymous No.20084063]

>>20082947

Mines passed away last month. This is the poem I wrote for him:

He never came to me when I would call
Unless I had a tennis ball,
Or he felt like it,
But mostly he didn't come at all.
When he was young
He never learned to heel
Or sit or stay,
He did things his way.
Discipline was not his bag
But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.
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News Treehugger Voices
The Dog Poem That Made Johnny Carson Cry
By
Michael Graham Richard
Updated October 23, 2019
This story is part of Treehugger's news archive. Learn more about our news archiving process or read our latest news.

Jimmy Stewart (left) reads his poem about his dog, Beau, on 'The Tonight Show' in 1981. . Snapshot from video/YouTube
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Back in 1981, legendary actor James "Jimmy" Stewart, the star of "It's a Wonderful Life" and too many other classics to list here, went on "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" to share his hobby: poetry. The piece that Stewart read was titled "I’ll Never Forget a Dog Named Beau" about his golden retriever.


At first, the poem made Johnny and the audience laugh, but it had a very different effect in the end. Describing it can’t do it justice; it’s something you have to see — and feel — for yourself, so check out the video and read the text below.


'I’ll Never Forget a Dog Named Beau'
Here’s the text of the poem:

He never came to me when I would call

Unless I had a tennis ball,

Or he felt like it,

But mostly he didn't come at all.

When he was young

He never learned to heel

Or sit or stay,

He did things his way.

Discipline was not his bag

But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.
He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,
And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.
He bit lots of folks from day to day,
The delivery boy was his favorite prey.
The gas man wouldn't read our meter,
He said we owned a real man-eater.
He set the house on fire

[Anonymous No.20084856]

>Tell people they should care more about people than their furbaby
>They call you a bug-eating chink
In a roundabout way I'm starting to care more about dogs than other people now too.

[Anonymous No.20084912]

>>20084856

[Anonymous No.20085033]

sorry to hear anon, yesterday was the one year anniversary of the death of my cat who I had at my side for at least 15 years, it still hurts.

[Anonymous No.20085185]

Here it is

[Anonymous No.20085232]

>>20085185
I like it. Life's too short to not reminisce about the life your dog lived. I believe animals have mortal souls, but perhaps he may still be with you in some way.

[Anonymous No.20085387]

>>20085185
it's heartfelt and tender, it's good that you wrote that for him.
>>20085232
good thing they'll eternally recur together lol

[Anonymous No.20085415]

>>20082947
stop being upset about things you can't change

[Anonymous No.20085423]

>>20085415
>just don't be upset bro
just stop posting bro

[Anonymous No.20085454]

>>20085185
are eulogies supposed to be this descriptive

[Anonymous No.20085532]

>>20085185
Do white women really?

[Anonymous No.20085570]

>>20085185
My family, furry friends, (anyone else present), we are gathered here today to pay our last respects and wishes to our dearly beloved beagle/spitz, Patti, who has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven where she will be happier, because she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up there. And she will often look down upon her beloved family, me, Christian Chandler, my mother, Barbara Chandler, and my father Robert Chandler, and the cats who have grown fond of Patti.


I will always remember Patti for all the lovely memories she has shared with me from:
-When I picked her out of the litter at my Aunt Corina's house in Redoak, Virginia.
-The many walks I have shared with her around this neighborhood, as well as the neighborhood in the Newberry Towne subdivision in Richmond, Virginia.
-The time I watched my old best friend, Sarah Hammer, take Patti by her front paws and danced a bit.
-The times I've watched her stand on her hind legs and then rewarded her with a biscuit bone.
-The time I took my camera to her pen and took this lovely picture of her and me, and I made a big deal how she'll be like a movie dog star.
-The times I've just sat with her in the yard and petted her head. I've always given her a "Bally-Scratch" where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a rubber ball.
-The many times I've fed her a can of food and a cup full of dry food, and refilled her bucket with fresh water so she can drink it and wash her face.
-There was also the one time I saw her resting on top of her doghouse (not on her back like Snoopy).
-I've often wondered why between both her ears, why one was bent and the other was straight like an arrowhead.


When Patti was brought to the vet on that faithful day, I was distraught with fright and concern for her health. I stayed with her during her final moments with a hand on her head and a tear in my eye. When my mother was brought the paper that gave the doctor permission to send her on her way, I didn't want her to be the one to sign it. I raised Patti since she was a six-week old pup, and I wanted to take the strain for signing the one-way ticket (it was hard for me, but it was for the best). So I signed that paper, with a crying Sonichu face saying, "We love you, Patti." After that, I gave her my final pets, hug, hand-to-paw hold, eye-contact, ear-rub, cheek-to-fur rub, and I sadly waved her for the final time, and I said, "Good Bye, Patti, I Love You." As I stood outside, I heard Patti's last barks saying, "I will always love you, Chris. Thank You."


But we all must move on with our lives with our beloved lucky mutt in our hearts and in our memories. So, Patti, may your old dog house and surrounding flowers forever memorialize your blessed heart, your barks at the stars and strangers, and your loyal love that you have blessed upon me and my family and friends. Bark on, and rest in peace, our beloved lucky Patti.

[Anonymous No.20085685]

>>20085532
I'm male

[Anonymous No.20085691]

>>20083048
Wtf

[Anonymous No.20086745]

>>20085185
Sentimental and a little saccharine but actually not bad anon. Keep writing