Poetry Thread

[Anonymous No.20076399]

Poetry Thread
You know the deal: post and rate.
prompt of the thread is "sleeping dragon".

[Anonymous No.20076501]

We are flaming dragon.
We have simple jack.
Give us all your sheckles
or Speedman gets a cap.

[Anonymous No.20076544]

>>20076501
I don't understand it, but I do kinda like it.

[Anonymous No.20076660]

> we
The poem opens with the implication of a collective. This isn’t a singular mouthpiece, but a multitude. Perhaps this represents a group, or even a zeitgeist. I personally believe neither; that it instead is being used to communicate that the speaker is of a status or power that transcends their singular existence, similar to the “royal we”. This is further corroborated by:
> are flaming dragon
Dragons conjuring images of power, knowledge, and mysticism. Perhaps the flaming descriptor is literal, perhaps it is to be taken in a more metaphorical manner. It may even be a title.
> We have simple jack
Note the lack of capitalisation on “jack”. This colloquial slang infers that the speaker has nothing - put differently, “we have simply nothing”.
> Give us all your sheckles
Herm..
> or Speedman gets a cap
At last we are introduced to the subject our flaming collective is addressing. Speedman may also be a title, but I believe this is a play on words: a man who is speedy must be fast; or tight, as in “fast friends”. What this means is highly mysterious, and the noting of such is very worthwhile.

In concluding: a masterfully crafted flarty zlartbast academia melon collie pow-wow.

[Anonymous No.20077444]

>>20076660
interesting

[Anonymous No.20077448]

>>20076660

[Anonymous No.20077657]

>>20077448
>zoomer humor

[Anonymous No.20078548]

Sweet senseless life
like a night without
stars, those forgetful
names that cover
the universe and choke
when called out like you
would a child's who plays
too near traffic, and the unforgiving
sun; a loudness let go
that whistles on its way
from wandering stars to earth

[Anonymous No.20078757]

Bump for loneliness

Someone write a poem to me please

[Asuka No.20078902]

Be the brave
Be the wanderer
Of your desert - in soul -
Save the waterfall
It will end one day - and the only
Thirst - will be thirst of mind
To be blessed and bright
In the loneliness of the dunes
And planes - unremarkable way
In the shaking solidity - of the peaceful
Indefferency

[Anonymous No.20080316]

can one of you nuqqas explain
why poetry has line breaks not
where the sentence ends but
at seemingly arbitrary places

[Anonymous No.20080320]

>>20078548
>>20078902
mind answering my question here? >>20080316

[Anonymous No.20080379]

I dont
Want to
Go to
Bed

[Anonymous No.20081267]

>>20080320
Two main functions

Firstly is to create a pause like a comma but shorter, adding rhythmically to the poem. This is most obvious in in rhyming poetry.

And through this separation also creating a grammatical break, allowing each line to be a separate entity on its own, but once removed leaving clear legible sentences behind.

To be vain (>>20078548 mine) there are lines that sit by themselves, loud and clear in this poem

>too near traffic, and the unforgiving

removed from the other lines it has its own presence, and wouldn't be able to do so without the line breaks separating it

There are probably other reason, but these are the ones that make sense to me

[Anonymous No.20081381]

>>20080316
Its a modern poetry thing where you randomly hit the enter button while writing mindless drivel because you cant be arsed to actually compose a real poem.

[Anonymous No.20081487]

>>20081267
Thanks bro. Nice poem

[Anonymous No.20082107]

Naked figures dance
When I close my eyes
Lithe, voluptuous, taught
Meek, cheeky, and poised

It loves unending
Sheathless blade,
Weathered, chipped
My own rusty sword

Though with only one I spar
Doomed to die and be reborn
Haughty & strong
Full-figured & begging

Blood burns my body &
I stick her like an animal
Not as would a skilled fencer
But a shiftless bandit, hungry
Fighting for survival
I love to make her
Scream & moan

>>20078548
Really pretty imagery and ideas. I'm kind of a beginner with poetry so I don't feel like I can give a lot of advice on prose, but I really like your word choice.

[Anonymous No.20082151]

>>20076399

Breathe in the crystalline powder
weighed by scale and gram.

Let fire pour into your mind,
speed into your bloodstream.

Gnash your teeth,
grind away your dreams.

Throw caution to the wind
until the beast is all,
until your self is unmade,
until all dues in finality are duly paid.

[Anonymous No.20082330]

>>20080316

It's either a symptom of people badly copying Bukowski and his predecessors, or correctly using them for breaks in emphasis when speaking it out aloud / scanning with your eyes, called scansion.

Consider:

I wrote this for the sake
of education
even if it taught you nothing.

vs.

I wrote this for the sake of education,
even if it taught you nothing.

[Anonymous No.20083543]

>>20082107
Thanks for the nice comments on my poem. I am not entirely happy with it. Needs a better ending, needs to be longer, some of the lines are full of redundancies. However, it is nice to find out that it reads well

I like yours too. It has a very classical feel to it, provably because of all the allusions to sex, where as most of the stuff about now likes to go elbow deep into their latest lovers anus. I like you call out to age, and the hints of impotence and eternity. Surprising and strong ending that although jarring and direct seems to tie everything together well.

Good cunt


>>20082151
Wanna get high together? Great poem. I like the ending the least, but that is just me grasping for criticism