/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.20032433]

>finally finish novel, send it out to publishers
>get a courtesy visit from the police shortly afterwards
>they find nothing but the male officer says 'I'll remember you' as they leave
I think I made a mistake trying to communicate anything to others.

[Anonymous No.20032437]

unbelievable story
for starters, it presupposes the publishers read more than one paragraph of your work

[Anonymous No.20032439]

>>20032437
I opened it with a detailed plot to kidnap a girl.

[Anonymous No.20032445]

>>20032433
#1 rule for ensuring a police visit goes well is to begin by offering the cop(s) a cigarette. It had worked almost every time for me.

[Anonymous No.20032446]

>>20032433
>>20032439
It can't have been THAT bad?

[Anonymous No.20032448]

If not bait, post it

[Anonymous No.20032453]

>>20032433
>male officer says 'I'll remember you' as they leave
Congratulations op, you just made a friend.

[Anonymous No.20032457]

>>20032433
>anon sent his pedophilia erotica "homage to Lolita" novel to Scholastic
>surprised when the feds show up

[Anonymous No.20032554]

>>20032448
Ok but I don't want to post the whole thing because I still have some vague hope of it getting accepted and would rather hold off on the 4chan association. So I'll just post a snippet. Please be considerate, I worked for a long time on this story.

Chapter 3: We live in a society, but society does not live in me.

I've heard it said all of the best ideas are conceived of while walking. I don't know what places trod the likes of Da Vinci or Einstein but I was doing circuits around Jefferson middle school again. The lunch recess was half over before I finally spotted Ponytail under her usual elm as relief and realization played convulsive wargames on my face, relief lost. For the first time in months she wasn't alone, some high cheeked blonde blonde faggot was bending her ear under the leaves and god help me they looked to be getting along. He was like some miniature David Bowie with better teeth whose pure whites I could discern from here, a shining intruder in our special shade, I hated him with practiced reflex. At first I almost thought it was another girl as my subconscious immediately manned its defense mechanisms but then the faint residue of their laughter reached me and in tears knew it wasn't so, and in that moment I knew something else too, that I had to act fucking quickly. If this wasn't to be another agonized empty delusion, if Ponytail ever meant anything, the moment was now, to know the name of action, know that planning is prevarication, even if everything goes tummy up and we both have to die it's still better than losing her to some bastard, you have nothing to lose but your shame. I walked then ran then walked to my car, opened the truck, swapped my plates, and spoke my first words in weeks -- or maybe it was a lifetime, "I'll go and introduce myself".

[Anonymous No.20032565]

>>20032554
you need to tighten your writing and you have made some sloppy errors like 'blonde blonde'.
however, the feel is not bad and didn't make me cringe so that's something.

[Anonymous No.20032578]

>>20032554
>Chapter 3: We live in a society, but society does not live in me.
I'm already in love. PLEASE self publish if you can't get traditionally published

[Anonymous No.20032587]

>>20032565
Fuck you're right. I wish I wasn't a poorfag and could afford an editor, proofing this is an ordeal all its own nevermind writing it.

[Anonymous No.20032595]

>>20032554
Kino of the highest caliber. You'll only be appreciated after your lifetime.

[Anonymous No.20032608]

>>20032554
Actually very nice prose. Was pretty engaging.
>>20032565
I managed to cringe at the curses sprinkled in. I get you're going for rawness, but the faggot and fucking were overkill and took me out of it. The bastard was good because you built up to it, but you can't just assault the average reader with obscenities

[Anonymous No.20032721]

>>20032608
yeah fair point. i have the same tendency in my own writing and end up cutting a lot of it.
all OP really needs to do is let the book sit for a while then come back later with fresh eyes

[Anonymous No.20032996]

>>20032554
Very beautiful, anon. Dont stop

[Anonymous No.20033001]

>>20032437
Perhaps the publisher was captivated by his opening paragraph that he couldn't help but read more.

[Anonymous No.20033007]

>>20032554
ESL? I feel like some of these sentences don't read right or just don't flow correctly. Other than that, I like it.

[Anonymous No.20033013]

>>20032554
>We live in a society, but society does not live in me
>I was doing circuits around Jefferson middle school again
>I ran then walked then ran to my car
Holy fuck OP… I KNEEL

[Sage for boredom No.20033014]

>>20032554
Fucking grim, but not fucking bad

Probably struggle to find a publisher because it is so fucking grim, and the readership would be narrow. Would need to read the entire thing to see if the literati would accept it, because if they don't it could be a weather vain for the disenfranchised.


However, reads well, does need tightening, and a good editor

[Anonymous No.20033060]

>>20032433
Same thing happened with my philosophical work. Motherfuckers bring up Elliot Rodger even though if he were alive I'd be nine years his senior. I told them to fuck off and said they were wasting their time

[Anonymous No.20033070]

I'm da blackest blackest blackest boy in the sand lot!

[Anonymous No.20033091]

>>20032554
>> high cheeked blonde blonde faggot
is excellent

[Anonymous No.20033095]

>>walked to my car, opened the truck, swapped my plates,

why did he swap the plates before speaking to her?!? I'm hooked, OP.

[Anonymous No.20033098]

>>20033095
So that witness reports would give the wrong license number after he kidnaps her obviously. Let me guess you’ve never walked circuits around a middle school before?

[Anonymous No.20033102]

>>20033098
I haven't kidnapped anyone out of high school yet. Thanks for the tip.

[Anonymous No.20033106]

>>20033102
middle school, high school, whatever. probably the technique would be similar.

[Anonymous No.20033107]

>>20033106
presumably you'd need a larger trunk

[Anonymous No.20033110]

>>20033098
How exactly would on e do that without getting arrested? I remember a similar kerfuffle from the other side as teachers nervously whispered about some man loitering outside the gates.

[Anonymous No.20033111]

>>20032554
I'm kinda getting some John Niven vibes but he sounds more full of himself. Maybe try publishers that published him? Not the next illiad but not bad at all desu. Self publishing would be a serious option if you know how to advertise.

[Anonymous No.20033113]

>>20033111
I wish we we had some sort of union to self publish and prop each other up. I myself have been sitting on my magnum opus for months now. It's not that I'm against self publishing but it feels like a waste.

[Anonymous No.20033115]

>>20032554
>Chapter 3: We live in a society
dude just dude

[Anonymous No.20033117]

>>20032554
Decent prose anon, fun to read.

[Anonymous No.20033120]

>>20032554
>I walked then ran then walked to my car
kek

[Anonymous No.20033129]

>>20033113
Yeah true. Like blowing it into empty space. I think it can work if you can get it some traction but it feels like that is extremely difficult compared to traditional publishing.

[Anonymous No.20033154]

>>20032554
very based OP i like the prose

[Anonymous No.20033178]

>>20032433
Did the police like your story?

[Anonymous No.20033219]

>>20032433
He told you that he wants to remember you, so he can say that he met you once you inevitably become a famous and successful author. They loved your story OP, this is a good sign

[Anonymous No.20033310]

>>20032554
this is awesome OP, its like lolita on crack cocaine

[Anonymous No.20033324]

>>20033310
>> lolita on crack cocaine

[Anonymous No.20033390]

>>20032554
Looks like kino's back on the menu.

[Anonymous No.20033395]

>>20032554
>He was like some miniature David Bowie with better teeth whose pure whites I could discern from here, a shining intruder in our special shade, I hated him with practiced reflex.
Sublime.

[Anonymous No.20033727]

>>20032554
I like it. Don't give up, fren. If nothing else works, self publish, I'll buy a copy

[Anonymous No.20033735]

>>20032433
imagine being a woman who works at a publishing house and being so pathetic you report a writer to the police. I can't believe they can vote.

[Anonymous No.20033745]

>>20033735
Blame people like J.S. Mill. He was the original cuck philosopher

[Anonymous No.20033817]

>>20033745
I shall.

[Anonymous No.20033845]

>>20032554
It takes guts to write something, well done, I hope it goes well. I liked that paragraph a lot.

[Anonymous No.20033871]

>>20032554
>We live in a society, but society does not live in me.

[Anonymous No.20033913]

>>20032554
I find it somewhat hard to read, but maybe because my screen is shattered and the text is small af
regardless, nice prose man
keep going king

[Anonymous No.20033924]

>>20032587
I will unironically edit and proofread your work for free anon.
@ me

[Anonymous No.20033945]

>>20033735
Imagine making up stories that it was a woman

[Anonymous No.20035141]

You should dedicate the book

>to the policeman who said he'd remember

[Anonymous No.20035687]

>>20035141
That alone would elevate the book to kino

[Anonymous No.20036215]

>>20032554
>and spoke my first words in weeks -- or maybe it was a lifetime, "I'll go and introduce myself".
Absolute fucking kino

[Anonymous No.20036363]

i want to read the full novel now

[Anonymous No.20036432]

Imagine believing any of this is real.

[Anonymous No.20036454]

>>20032554
Some of the best work I've seen on /lit/, you should be proud. There's room for improvement but you could easily get published right now if the rest is like this.

[Anonymous No.20036464]

>>20032439
Post excerpt, please.

[Anonymous No.20036648]

>>20032554
This is insane. You're insane. learn to use semi-colons and hypens to break up the thoughts into my coherent sections and you have something here

If this involves a villainous protag it would be genuine true kino

[Anonymous No.20036672]

>>20032445
Last time they (german policemen) refused and were annoyed to escort me by to the train station.

[Anonymous No.20036679]

>>20032554
Do you like Bret Easton Ellis by any chance?

[Anonymous No.20036683]

>>20032554
Be sure to promote it here or post the .epub. I want to read it and give you a donation.

[Anonymous No.20036736]

>>20032554
Beautiful. Do you have an introduction to calm normies down OP, or are you just gonna throw the reader into the character's mind?

[Anonymous No.20036931]

>>20032554
pretty brazy

but you've got some sloppy syntax here and there. i quite liked the repetition in blonde blonde. don't change it imo.

[Anonymous No.20037176]

>>20033945
no self respecting man would do something that low just to get the kick from being 'morally just'. also, 99% of the publishing industry is a gash

[Anonymous No.20037184]

>>20032433
800$ for shit that never happened

[Anonymous No.20037197]

>>20032554
Kino

[Anonymous No.20037235]

>>20032554
So is this about an incel in middle school or a grown man obsessed with a middle school girl?

[Anonymous No.20037254]

>>20032554
>>20037235
I enjoyed reading it anyway op. Pretty grim subject matter but 20 years ago it probably would’ve still gotten published at least.

[Anonymous No.20037285]

>>20032554
Unironically fucking fantastic. Your prose is saturated with a particularly viscous variety of SOVL

[Anonymous No.20037306]

>>20032554
Need to spend more time developing why you care about the Ponytail character before introducing the antipathetic lil Bowie. Contrast between how you feel about the two characters.

[Anonymous No.20037317]

>>20037306
>chapter 3
he probably does

[Anonymous No.20037362]

>>20037235
I don't think a middle schooler would drive a car or reference Hamlet and Marx in severely autistic internal dialogue.

[Anonymous No.20037367]

>>20037235
>the former
Trash.
>the latter
Literature.

[Anonymous No.20037368]

>>20037362
>reference Hamlet and Marx
im a brainlet & missed these references, can you point them to me

[Anonymous No.20037420]

>>20037368
"the name of action"
"have nothing to lose but your chains"

[Anonymous No.20037435]

>>20032433
How many times did you use the word nigger on the front page?

[Anonymous No.20037449]

>>20032587
>blonde blonde
>confirmed error
Damnit OP, and I was just about to call >>20032565 a midwit faggot for not recognizing an obvious reduplication.

[Anonymous No.20037471]

>>20032445
Does the brand matter?

[Anonymous No.20037478]

>>20032587
I will also read and edit for free this is kino

[Anonymous No.20037507]

>>20032554
This is genuinely bad, it feels like you were half asleep when writing it.

[Anonymous No.20037514]

>>20032554
I've been in 4chan for about 9 years and i never ever come to this board. But OP you caught my eye, you must continue no matter what, godspeed.

[Anonymous No.20037516]

>>20037507
You sound like the same kind of idiot that says Dubliners is shit because you can understand the words

[Anonymous No.20037520]

>>20037235
What difference does it make?
It makes none,
and your prejudice won't keep you warm tonight

[Anonymous No.20037730]

>>20032554

>I don't know what places trod the likes of Da Vinci or Einstein but I was doing circuits around Jefferson middle school again

this has got to be a new lit meme and also surely the sentance that got the cops called.

[Anonymous No.20037764]

You got it, man. YOU GOT BOTH SOVL AND TALENT. Don't be disheartened; genius are rarely appreciated in their own time.

[Anonymous No.20037946]

>>20032554
>We live in a society, but society does not live in me
I WILL PAY YOU VERY GOOD MONEY TO WRITE A 3K PAGES EPIC JUST FOR ME.

[Anonymous No.20037948]

>>20032554
>perving around a middle school
>has a car
Glorious. The adventures of a depraved pedo neet. Please continue.

[Anonymous No.20038136]

>>20032433
kek

[Anonymous No.20038241]

>>20032608
I like the profanity.
It illustrates the main character's rejection by and of society for seemingly paradoxical reasons: it does not satisfy his seemingly high intellectual standards (nor does he himself), and at the same time it cannot accomodate his vulgar base urges.

Good job OP, even though the story in the OP is fake and gay.

[Anonymous No.20038245]

>finally finish novel, send letter to the author
>get a courtesy visit from the police shortly afterwards
>they find nothing but the male officer says 'I'll remember you' as they leave

[Anonymous No.20038317]

>>20032554
This is going down in board history instantly.

[Anonymous No.20038321]

Posting in epic thread. This is gonna be a classic.

[Anonymous No.20038345]

>>20032554
Anyone who calls this good prose hasn’t read a book since high school, this is dogshit

[Anonymous No.20038347]

>>20037516
What the fuck does this even mean

[Anonymous No.20038366]

>>20038345
By what criteria?

[Anonymous No.20038473]

>>20038345
Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo....

His father told him that story: his father looked at him through a glass: he had a hairy face.

He was baby tuckoo. The moocow came down the road where Betty Byrne lived: she sold lemon platt.

O, the wild rose blossoms
On the little green place.

He sang that song. That was his song.

O, the green wothe botheth.

When you wet the bed, first it is warm then it gets cold. His mother put on the oilsheet. That had the queer smell.

His mother had a nicer smell than his father. She played on the piano the sailor’s hornpipe for him to dance. He danced:

Tralala lala,
Tralala tralaladdy,
Tralala lala,
Tralala lala.

Uncle Charles and Dante clapped. They were older than his father and mother but uncle Charles was older than Dante.
How's this for good prose?

[Anonymous No.20038549]

>>20038473
Writing ain't free. The road to good prose gotta be littered with the blood of literary shitters. James Joyce aka "Stream of Consciousness Voice" is not my author. He is pervert and probably exile as well :DD. Bovary and Twist not Bloom and Dedalus OK. Praise classics

[Anonymous No.20038870]

>>20038366
Let’s start with by what criteria you consider it good

>>20038473
Haha what a goofy little copypasta, you sure got me there buddy

[Anonymous No.20038916]

>>20032554
I this guy most have gotten all of his discord buddies to each samefag 10 times to this uninteresting story. Hope you get enough upvotes on r/4chan to make this worth the effort, faggot.

[Anonymous No.20038922]

>>20038916
this

[Anonymous No.20038926]

>>20038916
Holy based

[Anonymous No.20038927]

>>20038916
Agreed.

[Anonymous No.20038932]

>>20038916
Yeah that's what I was thinking.

[Anonymous No.20038936]

>>20038916
/thread

[Anonymous No.20038939]

I see what's happening, don't think I don't.

[Anonymous No.20038943]

>>20038916
What a fag right?

[Anonymous No.20038944]

>>20038916
Nothing surprises me anymore.

[Anonymous No.20038947]

>>20038916
>>20038939
meds

[Anonymous No.20038969]

>>20032554
fucking kino

[Anonymous No.20039002]

>>20038916
1200 :^)

[Anonymous No.20039012]

>>20032439
Based

[Anonymous No.20039020]

>>20039002
Nice inspect element and shop

[Anonymous No.20039023]

>>20032554
>I walked then ran then walked to my car
very relatable

[Anonymous No.20039029]

>>20039002
You faggots would get way better content with less energy by just using 4chan normally and documenting outrageous moments when they come to you naturally. God I hate reddit, you guys only want to hear the same jokes in the same format with minor variations.

[Anonymous No.20039067]

>>20039020
it was submitted yesterday you nob, go look for yourself

[Anonymous No.20039089]

>>20039067
Just link me bro. I don't even know what subREDDIT it was put on

[Anonymous No.20039090]

>>20039029
I used to submit that sort of thing but they never seemed to like them much so i don't bother anymore

[Anonymous No.20039097]

>>20039089
https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/t9jk5p/anon_shares_his_magnum_opus/

[Anonymous No.20039099]

>>20039089
probably the 4chanlit subreddit

[Anonymous No.20039123]

>>20032554
Bad writing and bad meme bait.

[Anonymous No.20039148]

>>20039090
If you recognize that then why do you do this at all? They so fucking pathetic and unsophisticated. It's openly made for these kids who are actually *afraid* of going to 4chan (as if it's illegal or will get you murdered, don't ask me how) but still get off on playing around with something clandestine. The end result is basically just reddit puns posted on 4chan and instantly snipped and posted for upvotes. Last time I checked there, the whole front page was jokes about r/antiwork being 'le dumb' (as if that's something we'd naturally talk about, and that our NEET population would even oppose it if we did).

That's all just innocently stupid but then some of them actually come here and think it's like their "greentexts". That's how we got this week's situation of dozens of redditors getting unironically mad when people use slightly arrogant language in their arguments ("you guys think you're so smart but you aren't!!", etc.) and you see people making low quality threads for single-format jokes like Sam Hyde references and getting mad if you "ruin the humor" by making replies that don't fit with them.

[Anonymous No.20039159]

>>20032554
This is excellent, keep going and don't stop.

[Anonymous No.20039163]

>>20038916
OP here, I didn't. I'm actually very discouraged this ended up on reddit as a point of ridicule. I wanted my story to be humorous and sad but I also wanted for anons to laugh with me rather than whatever demented episode this has become. It's made me realize I didn't actually think about or what might happen if I got an audience. I'm not posting any more for obvious reasons. In the end 'I' break David Bowie's teeth, I steal the girl, 'my' plan never wins her over, 'I' let her go, it ends sort of like Coriolanus 'there isnot a world elsewhere'. Oddly apropos given this thread, whatever I guess.

I agree with your skeptical paranoia because it's close to my distaste for reddit and all that entails, but you have got the causality reversed. At minimum I felt the need to defend myself this little bit even as as a formality, I have no proof any of this is true except for pic related which I can only convince you is real by appealing to the mutual indolence in the average anon. I'm glad/hope some anons hate my post on principle because of the association, I would too.

I thought I knew myself. I see now I was laboring under one last delusion, that there was anywhere for people like us. This corner of the internet used to be that, but it's something else now.

[Anonymous No.20039178]

>>20039163
Redditors are hyenas

[Anonymous No.20039187]

>>20039163
For what it's worth, I did enjoy your writing.

[Anonymous No.20039188]

>>20039163
have sex

[Anonymous No.20039200]

>>20039148
That's why I said I don't do it anymore. Things that are funny to me don't seem to be funny to reddit. Or more accurately, aren't funny to the people who use reddit today, because when I was using reddit in the 2009-2012 range I found corners of it very amusing, including the 4chan subreddit. But the site was several magnitudes smaller with way less oversite. Like, there was a subreddit called /r/niggers and you could call people a faggot all day without any problems. It's a lot different now

[Anonymous No.20039224]

>>20039163
the comments on reddit seem positive, like people want to read it OP. I want to read it

[Anonymous No.20039228]

>>20039200
It's a shame. I've never had a reddit account but not enough of a snob to never take a peek at it out of curiousity, so I understand being frustrated at how shit it's gotten.

Sometimes I do check to see if any of the insane happenings I've witnessed have gotten posted (for example, one guy getting unironically mad in a thread about the actor Adam Driver and asking for the address of the anon defending him so he could go murder him), but no. It's just reposts of the generic jokes they already see on reddit.

[Anonymous No.20039241]

>>20039163
You're fine. Disregard reddit and anyone else who doesn't offer constructive feedback. Keep writing.

[Anonymous No.20039242]

>>20039224
There's no greater insult than a redditor's praise.

[Anonymous No.20039268]

I can't read reddit.
I browse through a proxy that ends in some dudes unsecured wifi, and shut off all javascript and cookies and whatnot, so reddit won't even render on my browser. Futaba and danbooru render even on a text browser (minus pics).
Why would anyone on any website not take such precautions?

There is plenty enough exposure here. Why risk being doxed?

[Anonymous No.20039283]

>>20039163
Does the work have a title OP? I would rather not miss out should it ever get published.

[Anonymous No.20039300]

>>20039163
>I wanted my story to be humorous and sad but I also wanted for anons to laugh with me
pretty much the reaction you got out of me, senpai. don't mind the reddit hivemind, people over there are too preoccupied with meeting the expectations of what they think their "community" would applaud them for saying to ever post their own thoughts on anything.

[Anonymous No.20039329]

>>20039163
It's just framing OP. The post is framed in a way that makes reddit primed to think you're already a deranged pedo from 4chan, not just some e/lit/ist sharing their story about a character who is not you doing something retarded. Of course that's how they're interpreting it

[Anonymous No.20039331]

>>20032554

[Anonymous No.20039407]

>>20039228
What was that thread about? Sounds like you found Boyega's reddit account lol

[Anonymous No.20039479]

>>20037449
I too thought blonde blonde was intentional and OP should def keep it. Lose the swearing, also, ruins the otherwise petty solid immersion.

[Anonymous No.20039636]

>>20039228
>if any of the insane happenings I've witnessed have gotten posted
they do but redditors are pussies who report that stuff and it gets deleted unless the subs jannies are cool

[Anonymous No.20039644]

>>20039636
>79: no reason
>1: tag this as dead body or something (thread's titled "Anon murders someone.")

[Anonymous No.20039715]

>>20039407
Obviously was talking about 4chan

[Anonymous No.20039731]

>>20039636
Is this from the thread where a guy was saying "It's a lot harder to strangle someone than they make it look in the movies"?

[Anonymous No.20039784]

>>20039731
yeah I think so