/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.20024901]

I don't know what to do /lit/. I seek meaning. On one hand I want to commit my life to a purpose, on the other I want to live in complete decadence and hedonism and ignore earthly suffering. I have a job that pays quite well but I don't enjoy it and it goes against my fundamental will, I have to act like a normal, well-adjusted person for the majority of the day and its torture. I would rather be paid half as much to do something I find emotionally congruent with my nature, even if that means delivering parcels during my waking hours.
I have accepted completely that I will never be conventionally "happy", I don't know if that's a symptom of long standing depression or a personality disorder but it's the truth. The inadequacies of the world really bother me, more than most people, and I find the only solution is insulation from reality, complete ignorance. I don't really enjoy anything but I feel most "myself" during introspection. Perhaps writing, elucidating my thoughts for others and working the bare minimum to sustain a comfortable life is the most authentic life I can live. Does anyone relate to any of this? Just tell me what I need to hear.

[Anonymous No.20024932]

Read the bible, friend.

[Anonymous No.20024938]

>>20024901
You will never find meaning. You will never be happy. You will roam the earth until the end of your days without fulfillment or joy.

[Anonymous No.20024944]

>>20024932
>read these Jewish desert stories it'll fix your life
Yawn

[Anonymous No.20024952]

>>20024938
have sex

[Anonymous No.20024956]

>>20024901
try to have kids, maybe? idk

[Anonymous No.20025047]

>>20024944
>>20024944
Jewish desert adventures are peak lit

[Anonymous No.20025080]

>>20024944
Cynicism is a bad symptom already.

[Anonymous No.20025170]

>>20024901
>writing, elucidating my thoughts for others
Yes, do that. Through philosophy and art one can transmute their suffering into wonder and awe for themselves and those who engage with their creations.

[Anonymous No.20025521]

>>20024901
You have a low hedonic baseline. I'm a doctor.

Unironically, read Nietzsche. Sit in silence for 48 hours, no screens whatever, and try to figure out what sort of life you'd like to live. Make some long term plans with clear goals, and start working toward them. Even if the goals aren't perfect, you'll see further as you climb up the slope.

You write like someone without drive, but the fact that you're asking about this at all shows the light hasn't gone out of you yet. I know deep down you want to be stronger than you are now.

You want to isolate from the imperfect world, and we all understand you. Who can claim to have never once recoiled from this vast riddle?

I'll tell you what you need to hear:
You're "not conventionally happy" because you're not a true normie. It could be genes, it could be that you're not actually trying at life so you don't get the pleasant life-affirming mood which is the prerogative of strivers. It could even be general anomie, nihilism, and the psychic pollution of the web communities you've grown up on making you weak.

I lied. That wasn't what you need to hear. The point is, you're weak. You're so weak. You've pushed aside whatever was noble in you and let circumstance guide your life. You tell yourself the only solution is isolation? You don't even understand yourself. You don't want to test your mettle, so you've never really tested it, so you don't know what you can do. Things are too hard for you. Failing is too hard. Trying is the hardest.
The natural mind of a healthy human is that of an Apex Predator.
You're a herbivore. You're a tender-faced ruminant. That's because you're addicted to grass.
Can't get enough of those hedons, can you? You just need to feel so good all the time. You know what feels bad? Discomfort. Hence: your post.

But I know what scares you most. I can smell it on you. It's regret.

You haven't committed to a purpose because you're Sylvia Plath under the fig tree. You're tarrying in pure potential, because choosing something always means giving up so much more. You know who doesn't have to choose? Children. They're the glorious summit of possibility. That's also why you chose to post the image you did. Funnily enough, the kid is happy because his parents chose the Cars blanket for him: he has an identity. The older Wojak has no one to choose for him, and, since he can choose anything (and anything is as good as anything else), he chooses nothing. Wait, we have the causality wrong: It's because he won't choose that everything goes grayscale.

Being somebody is scary.That's just our ugly, stupid whore of a life. It would be lot more fun if we could change who we were like weathervanes.

I lied again. You're already a weathervane, and it's hell. The trick is to pick something you want to be, then strive to be it. Rejoice at the pruning of possibilities: you didn't want them.

Or ignore me. If you can't break your bad habits yourself, they'll stop naturally in your coffin.

[Anonymous No.20025539]

>>20024901
Just take the finders course.

[Anonymous No.20025560]

>>20025521
Based advice. I'm not OP but I too am a young adult who has failed to find an aim around which I can orient my life. I believe you are right that one needs to choose a rigorous apprenticeship through which one can form an identity. The problem is, like you said, this also means giving up a lot. Tarrying in pure potential is what I am doing right now. I need to choose an identity but I'm not sure what that should be.

[Anonymous No.20025656]

>>20024901
I made the mistake of trivializing everything because I wanted to avoid being controlled by external factors. I feared rejection, so I stopped approaching things. Showing affection always just gave me belittlement and mockery, so I stopped wanting things. Only the bad feelings remained, so I explained them away with neuropsychology and evolution. If only that would have worked. It just makes you dissociate from them. The feels never go away tho. Neural networks don't change without outside influence. Thoughts never will. Their effect is limited by design. Wiggle as much as you want. Dissociate, depersonalize as much as you want but never change. Not hard to see that I have lost connection with life itself. I'm lost in description, in explanation, in cope.
I wanted to stop caring so I could be free but instead, I just stopped caring about me and now I am trapped. Arbitrary people, arbitrary opinions, arbitrary choices, arbitrary me.
Thanks for reading my melodramatic esl shitpost. (Just so you know. I'm backing out a bit here because I don't want anyone to think that I actually care)

[Anonymous No.20025667]

>>20025656
You should take up drinking.

[Anonymous No.20025695]

>>20025521
Powerful stuff.

[Anonymous No.20025727]

>>20025560
It's not exactly fair to frame it as though you 'failed'. Society used to furnish spiritual purpose for those with too much cerebration and time on their hands. It's probably more accurate to say you've successfully adopted some random doctrine from your environment through osmosis. If your environment was 4chan, then you need to walk away: nothing strong can be forged here.


If you want to know what identity you should choose, Nietzsche can help again. Write down every thing you've loved truly passionately in your life. Think back to your earliest childhood, all the way to today. Think back to the wishes you made blowing out the candles. Think back to your daydreams. What are your true loves?

Once you have them written down, go through them and find what they have in common. This will tell you what attracts you. These things will motivate you when you pursue them: you can then build an energetic life with related goals in mind.

No matter what happens, remember to go for things that delight you, and that becoming proficient at anything requires focused practice. The 95% of 'writers' on this board who write more on this board than in their notebooks will eventually grow out of it when they realize equally talented people have been practicing their craft for years and they can never catch up. Make sure that's not you, no matter what you want to do. Put in the work. There is no alternative.

[Anonymous No.20025749]

>>20025727
Thanks for the advice.

[Anonymous No.20025774]

>>20025521
Post of the year

[Anonymous No.20025786]

>>20025727
>muh neeche
>4chan bad haha people who write on 4chan are stupid and idiots and they will stay behind in the rat race and get buried hehe
Nigger. You are literally the retard who is writing essays in 4chan. You are a fucking spastic freakshow and if we met face to face i am certain i could beat your face into a fucking pulp. I will turn you into mush if you come peddling your shaman snake oil. Neetche ended up crying in public, his balls rotting off from syphilis and he started talking to his horse. You are a fool, a claptrap journalist with nothing to add except reddit spaced gibberish babble about hard work and motivation, the same nonsense everyone has heard a million times before, do not, i repeat, do not - EVER, for any reason consider your intellect above average. You are a mediocre fool, a charlatan, whose only skill is conning, it seems you, you cowardly serpent have fooled yourself into believing you are greater than you are. Begone from my vision, leper. Your visage and your rotten soul fill me with disgust and fury.

[Anonymous No.20025805]

>>20025786
...
What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.20025813]

>>20025805
He's trying to protect his ego.

[Anonymous No.20025868]

>>20025813
That would be you, aspiring web-shaman.

[OP No.20025905]

>>20025786
in that case what is your recommendation for me

[Anonymous No.20025929]

>>20025905
>OP (13) 03/07/22(Mon)

[Anonymous No.20025940]

>>20025521
>I'm a doctor
>read Nietzsche
>stupid whore of a life
Calm down, retard. Scrub up and get back to the fries.

[Anonymous No.20026023]

>>20025786
>do not, i repeat, do not - EVER, for any reason consider your intellect above average
The wording of this injunction says so much. How miserable a thing you are. If only I felt some formidability in you, I might indulge you with a longer answer, but you seem to be a run-of-the-mill underachieving loser.


Frustrated ambition leads to bitterness. I suppose the rest of the posters can use the sight of your moral wreckage as a spur to start doing something they can be proud of, before it's too late. This will be your only >>you

[Anonymous No.20026032]

>>20024901
You should spend 2 nights and three days in the woods, no internet, no car, no fast food. See if your perspective changes.