>I don't think you were talking to me, but why not....
LE PUFF DAD SANS DIDDY
O what can ail Suge Knight-at-Arms,
Unarmed and darkly shuffling?
Thy Ho no more reveals her charms,
And wears no bling.
O what can ail thee, wretched Ho,
So nasty, that was once an hottie,
Now clutching, in thy hand of woe,
An ice-cold fo'ty?
There's somethin ashy bout you, girl
Try cocoa-butter I believe,
And you should use some Jheri-Curl
Or lose that weave.
"I met a fat pimp in the hood,
Named Christopher—or 'Biggie Smalls',
His face was round, his lyrics good,
And vast were his balls.
"He made me suck his fragrant dick
And made me swallow as he said;
Then brutal beatings he'd inflict,
'Longside my head.
"He said that I would be his bitch,
That I would be among his hoes,
He promised he would make me rich
And licked my toes.
"He sought euphoria and ease
In chill'd Cristal, and many blunts,
He sat and counted all his cheese,
Then ate my cunt's.
"He took me to his grotty crib,
And there he sang to me this ballad
Then I put on a lobster-bib
And tossed his salad.
"Then he played 'Ev'ry Breath You Take',
And there I said, 'Fuck tha Police, yo.'
Then I dream'd (though I was awake)
A ghost said 'Peace, yo'---
"I saw dead pimps, and Tupac, too,
Dead gangstas, paper-bag in color all;
They cried—'Le Puff Dad Sans Diddy
Hath thee in thrall!'
"Then I saw drive-by-shooting ghosts,
(A sight that would be best forgot)
So I thought I should switch me coasts,
When Big got shot.
"But that's why I'm a forlorn Ho
Unpimped and vaguely wandering,
I left my Bad Boy for Death Row,
And wear no bling."