ITT: we collectively come up with an idea for the most terrible book imaginable

[Anonymous No.19855498]

I’ll start:
It’s a YA novel.

[Anonymous No.19855502]

Female author

[Anonymous No.19855514]

japanese

[Anonymous No.19855519]

green book

[Anonymous No.19855521]

trans

[Anonymous No.19855538]

>>19855498
bland cover with sparkling lights and weird figures photoshoped in

[Anonymous No.19855561]

Take the first sentence and leave the rest.

[Anonymous No.19855567]

Has f*ck in title

[Anonymous No.19855576]

>>19855498
The protagonist is a black woman

[Anonymous No.19855607]

>>19855498
characters earn XP and deal numerical damage

[Anonymous No.19855618]

Isekai in a videogame world
meets actual pop culture characters

[Anonymous No.19855624]

A baby is born and they call her Hope

[Anonymous No.19855636]

Protagonist is confused about xer sexuality and sleeps around a lot to find out what xe likes

[Anonymous No.19855643]

>>19855561
When I see shit like this and remember how bad the average person is at writing prose I feel a little more hopeful for my myself.

[Anonymous No.19855677]

Thine protagonist speaketh in style of a King James Bible reading.

[Anonymous No.19855681]

>>19855643
That pic is pretty good ngl famalam

[Anonymous No.19855685]

>>19855561
That's one of the best opening sentences I've ever seen, the rest is shit though.

[Anonymous No.19855695]

>>19855624
and has a rare genetic defect like downs syndrome or waardenburg syndrome... and everyone is very cool with that! In fact, it's a good thing

[Anonymous No.19855697]

protagonist posts in this thread

[Anonymous No.19855706]

First chapter is inundated with nonsense like made-up names of things, places, and people.

[Anonymous No.19855730]

>>19855498
protagonist watches a generico vs steen match

[Anonymous No.19855737]

People speak like XXI century West Coast teenagers
Two hot boys are competing for the female, fat, Black nonbinary main character's attention, every other character is a lesbian just in case
One adverb in every sentence
Ebonics and Twitter acronyms spread throughout the text
Every character uses the same language
Characters acting as a political mouthpiece for the author, explaining why what someone is doing is bad and he should feel bad
Meandering, lengthy descriptions in simple English completely deprived of impact and lyricism
It's announced from day 1 as a series of 7 books
Author has a Patreon and accepts feedback from paypigs
Highest tier allows paypig to insert his OC in the novel
Tumblranime style illustrations spread throughout, as well as the cover
Author introduces herself with her pronouns in the jacket interior blurb
Character introduces xerself with xer pronouns in the book, other characters understand and reply in kind, even the villains, who are all lesbians as well and aren't really evil after all
One of the side characters is a Muslim girl with vitiligo on a wheelchair who is completely fine hanging around with the rest of the characters
Insufferable compliment written by Patrick Rothfuss in back coer blurb

I think I've dumped all the cancer off the top of my head

[Anonymous No.19855759]

Main character is blatant author self-insert

[Anonymous No.19855777]

MC must beat seven villains or trials based on the capital sins

[Anonymous No.19855829]

Wisecracking talking rabbit with a brutal past.

[Anonymous No.19855928]

Take a famous story from classic greek mythology and rewrite it so that a woman is now the real hero. If that doesn’t work just retcon a hero into being a fag.

[Anonymous No.19855946]

"If you kill him, you'll be just like him!"
"Comedy relief" character
"No man can kill me" - "I am not a man! In fact your use of 'man' to mean personkind is bad and you should feel bad. You have a bigoted, binary view of gender..." (cont.)
Use of "totally", "literally"
Children speak in the same tone as adults and say valuable things
Main God of setting is revealed to be a woman, MC smirks and says "Of course she is"
Most intelligent character says she is on the spectrum, acts exactly like everyone else
Intelligent character never gives any insight on her reasoning except "according to my calculations/research"
Character whose main asset is her seductiveness is morbidly obese. She is a dancer and moves with umatched grace.
There's a talking cat or dog who says quippy one-liners
Said cat or dog is designed to be prominent in merchandise and branding
Author lists the trigger warnings at the start of every chapter

[Anonymous No.19855948]

There is a character constantly running around naked as a running gag

[Anonymous No.19855954]

>>19855643
Post your prose then

[Anonymous No.19855965]

E-celebrities and famous Youtubers have cameos in the book

[Anonymous No.19855996]

Forbidden love between two teenagers dying of cancer

[Anonymous No.19856012]

>>19855996
During imprisonment in Auschwitz!

[Anonymous No.19856018]

>>19855965
And shill their sponsors mid text.

[Anonymous No.19856035]

15 page long unpunctuated sentence detailing the inner-monologue of the heroine as she eats a man's ass out and how, if you look at it from the right angle, it's empowering.

[Anonymous No.19856066]

>>19856035
>"There's absolutely nothing wrong with sex work", she thought as she probed Count Barnacle's anus with her tongue. "People who try to shame me are just jealous of how much money I am making. I feel nothing for this man so I'm not cheating on my boyfriend either."

[Anonymous No.19856097]

The writer has to be ESL.

[Anonymous No.19856104]

Protagonist undergoes a male-to-female operation in the prologue and a female-to-male operation in the epilogue

[Anonymous No.19856109]

>>19856066
>I feel nothing for this man so I'm not cheating on my boyfriend either
Kek, roasties are always like this

[Anonymous No.19856186]

>>19855498
It is (insert language) translated into English.

[Anonymous No.19856228]

>>19856186
This doesn't allow for all the pozzed globolingo language. English is in the most advanced stage of decay, so if you want the worst result you'd have to translate from English into a language from a country that is both Americanized and linguistically distant from English.

[Anonymous No.19856613]

>>19856228
translated from korean
bonus: all the characters are named impossible to remember shit like soo-jeong and young-hyae

[Anonymous No.19857809]

>>19855498
it's published as a tiktok storytime and you have to scroll to read each page, with unskippable ads

[Anonymous No.19857840]

>>19857809