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/lit/ - Literature

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19833287 No.19833287 [Reply] [Original]

What is, in your opinion, the worst opening sentence in a novel you have ever read?

>> No.19833289

You can't convince me that this isn't the worst introduction to a fantasy world ever.

"One cannot raise walls against what has been forgotten.
The citadel of Ishuäl succumbed during the height of the Apocalypse. But no army of inhuman Sranc had scaled its ramparts. No furnace-hearted dragon had pulled down its mighty gates. Ishuäl was the secret refuge of the Kûniüric High Kings, and no one, not even the No-God, could besiege a secret.
Months earlier, Anasûrimbor Ganrelka II, High King of Kûniüri, had fled to Ishuäl with the remnants of his household. From the walls, his sentries stared pensively across the dark forests below, their thoughts stricken by memories of burning cities and wailing multitudes. When the wind moaned, they gripped Ishuäl’s uncaring stone, reminded of Sranc horns. They traded breathless reassurances. Had they not eluded their pursuers? Were not the walls of Ishuäl strong? Where else might a man survive the end of the world?
The plague claimed the High King first, as was perhaps fitting: Ganrelka had only wept at Ishuäl, raged the way only an Emperor of nothing could rage. The following night the members of his household carried his bier down into the forests. They glimpsed the eyes of wolves reflected in the light of his pyre. They sang no dirges, intoned only a few numb prayers.
Before the morning winds could sweep his ashes skyward, the plague had struck two others: Ganrelka’s concubine and her daughter. As though pursuing his bloodline to its thinnest tincture, it assailed more and more members of his household. The sentries upon the walls became fewer, and though they still watched the mountainous horizon, they saw little. The cries of the dying crowded their thoughts with too much horror.
Soon even the sentries were no more. The five Knights of Trysë who’d rescued Ganrelka after the catastrophe on the Fields of Eleneöt lay motionless in their beds. The Grand Vizier, his golden robes stained bloody by his bowel, lay sprawled across his sorcerous texts. Ganrelka’s uncle, who’d led the heartbreaking assault on Golgotterath’s gates in the early days of the Apocalypse, hung from a rope in his chambers, slowly twisting in a draft. The Queen stared endlessly across festering sheets."

>> No.19833300

>>19833289
>mfw its real

>> No.19833337

Only one enemy remained; two if you counted God.

>> No.19833338

>>19833289
wtf is this

>> No.19833340

>It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

>>19833300
>mfw its real
>no face when

>> No.19833353

100 Years of Solitude.

It's praised to high heaven, but it is gimmicky and stupid and I knew right away that the book would nowhere near live up to the expectation of that line.

>> No.19833360

>>19833353
This is just contrarianism. It's far from being the worst opening sentence ever.

>> No.19833408

>>19833353
I like it because the event it describes is the end of the first chapter.

>> No.19833424

>>19833340
>filtered by Austen

>> No.19833777

>>19833289
This managed to be too boring to bother reading. Who tf reads this and gets excited for more?

>> No.19833872

>>19833424
>opening line is hetero-normative cringe
>It's not even true, Leibniz lived 2 centuries before the book was written and his life debunks it
>no one dies
>riddled with stock-standard female thoughts
>the only reason anyone still cares about it is because you had to read it for high school

>> No.19833891

>>19833872
Pride and prejudice is a satire. The opening life is ironic.

Part of the point of the book is that love is what matters, not the money.

>> No.19833914

>>19833891
Judging by your take, your opening life was ironic too!

>> No.19833919

>>19833287
I liked that bookstore. It was great.

>> No.19833921

The one that about abortions and shit that gets reposted here every now and then

>> No.19833952

>>19833914
Line*

Control your autism

>> No.19834036

>it was the best of times it was the worst of times
How can it be both? We're off to a great start with that illogical drivel.

>> No.19834051

>"That n***er going down the street," said Dr Hasselbacher standing in the Wonder Bar, "he reminds me of you, Mr Wormold."

>> No.19834056

>>19834036
Dickens had a Buddhist philosophical outlook

>> No.19834067

>Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Divine Comedy!
>By day, I'm Patrick Bateman; by night, I'm the American psycho.
>Raskolnikov committed a crime, and now it's time for him to face the punishment.
>AF 632: it was a new world, and a brave one, too.
Seriously?

>> No.19834102

>>19833287
>Call me Ishmael
Okay?

>> No.19834472

>>19833338
Just another mediocre fantasy drivel that pretends to be deeper than it really is.

>>19833777
>Who tf reads this and gets excited for more?
Pseuds mostly. Genre fiction readers who want to feel like intellectuals.

>> No.19834483

>>19833891
>Part of the point of the book is that love is what matters, not the money.

Which ironically the most delusional part about anything Austen has written.

>> No.19834562

>>19833337
Thread isn't BEST opening lines...

>> No.19835557

>>19833287
I've been to that library. It is in shitty downtown L.A.

>> No.19835567

>>19833289
I got halfway through this and then said aloud "but who the fuck ASKED"

>> No.19835661

>>19833287
For how great it is, War and Peace's first sentence is kind of shit, also the fact that he wrote an amazing opening line to Anna Karenina, so you know he was capable of it.

>> No.19835778

Only one enemy remained; two if you counted God. But it was not Peter’s job to kill Him; at least not yet. “Get down!” Sinon shouted, pulling Peter to the ground. A deafening blast of black light flew over their heads followed by a surge of dirt and shrapnel. Peter groaned. Religious wars are always the worst. “What are you waiting for? Create a barrier!” Sinon screamed.

>> No.19835792

>>19835557
Lmao yes. I saw a guy attack another guy with makeshift mace outside of that place, who then smeared his blood on the wall. It's a gross corner, people are passed out naked on the street, everyone's high, and there's like 4 smokes shops on that intersection alone (read: lots of black people).

>> No.19835798

>>19833872
dilate

>> No.19835802

>>19833337
based

>> No.19835804

>>19834102
I like it. It's been said before. It's a weirdly personal opening, like a drunk confessional. He's saying, alright fellas, just listen. Oh, and "call me" this name. Is that his real name? It's a little wily and I like it.

>> No.19835842

>>19833287
"It was night again. The Waystone Inn lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts.

The most obvious part was a hollow, echoing quiet, made by things that were lacking. If there had been a wind it would have sighed through the trees, set the inn’s sign creaking on its hooks, and brushed the silence down the road like trailing autumn leaves. If there had been a crowd, even a handful of men inside the inn, they would have filled the silence with conversation and laughter, the clatter and clamor one expects from a drinking house during the dark hours of night. If there had been music...but no, of course there was no music. In fact there were none of these things, and so the silence remained."

>> No.19835865

>>19833353
>It's praised to high heaven, but it is gimmicky and stupid
Sums up the whole book. What an overrated dumpster fire.

>> No.19835870

>>19834036
There were certain aspects of the age which were the best of all time, there were other aspects which, simultaneously, were the worst that had ever been.

Doesn't quite have the same ring.

>> No.19835914

>>19833337
Kino

>> No.19835978

>>19835870
thats a fucking shitter

>> No.19836123

>>19833872
>filtered by Austen

>> No.19836180
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19836180

>>19833289
tf did i jus read on god fr fr

>> No.19836198

>>19834067
They didn't write that.

>> No.19836209

>>19834067
underrated shitpost

>> No.19836337

>>19833287
>"Who is John Galt?"

>> No.19836465
File: 10 KB, 320x180, wgwX2T8enzE-MQ.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19836465

>>19833289
came for this

>> No.19836487

>>19834102
Call me Ishmael is a great opening line
>>19834067
kek

>> No.19836513

>>19833337
This one is great, but you just know the rest of the book couldn't live up to it.

>> No.19836546

>>19835567
Is this bait or are you really this cringe?

>> No.19836872

>>19833289
KEK.

>> No.19836901

God I hate this board. Nobody reads and it's the same posts every single week.

>> No.19836906

>>19833289
good grief
you should read bakker's wikipedia entry. it is utterly transparent that he wrote it himself

>> No.19837022

How has no one posted the golden retriever pancakes one

>> No.19837025

>>19833353
It sets up one of the major themes of the book (memory) and hints to the importance of the ice and changes coming to Macondo

>> No.19837082

>It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
It can't be both Hackens

>> No.19837114

Not worst, but most autistic
>Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres, quarum unam incolunt Belgae, aliam Aquitani, tertiam qui ipsorum lingua Celtae, nostra Galli appellantur.

>> No.19837474

>>19837022
What?

>> No.19837493

>>19837082
>what is perspective, Alex?

>> No.19837498

>>19833287
I don't know, I don't read bad books

>>19833289
If this is the second or third book in the series then it could be acceptable. If you already know all of most of the LE FANTASY names and places it may actually mean something to you. But if this is the first book and how you're introduced to the world, then it's truly a what the fuck who cares

>> No.19837519

>>19833872
>hetero-normative
Yes being straight is normal and not wanting to chop your penor off is normal and wanting to be married and have children with a person of the opposite sex(same as gender) is normal and you will never be a woman etc etc

>> No.19837548

>>19837498
>I don't know, I don't read bad books
How do you know they're bad, if you don't read a page or two?

>> No.19837557

>>19837022
>>19837474
/lit/ is dead

>> No.19837579

>It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.
I didn't realise it was referencing a proverb and thought Orwell was just being le wacky so the first time I tried to read it I unironically stopped right there

>> No.19837598

>>19833891
I think the opening line is ironic but the book itself isn’t just a satire.
>Part of the point of the book is that love is what matters, not the money.
It’s not just about seeking love rather than money. It’s about people being unable to look past their pre-conceived notions about people and finding a partner you love in a society where marriage is half a business arrangement.

>> No.19837657

>A screaming comes across the sky. Ce n'est pas grave - it is rain. "Bow!" Slothrop sez.
really pynchon?

>> No.19837671

>>19837557
It’s been dead since the beginning.

>> No.19837726

>And

>> No.19837767

>>19833408
I like it because it includes false spoilers just to mess with the reader

>> No.19838075

>>19837726
What about it.

>> No.19838114

>>19833872
You don’t know shit about “female thoughts” troon. YWNBAW

>> No.19838125

>>19834051
Holy shit, best line of all time

>> No.19838137

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

>> No.19839089

>>19838137
Anna Karenina was kinda shit.

>> No.19839189

>>19833287
>Tell me, muse, of that complicated man

>> No.19839800

>>19833289
just a gay rewrite of Masque of the Red Death

>> No.19840168

>>19833287
The beginning of Main Street by Sinclair Lewis is trite.

>> No.19840571

>>19834036
Read the rest of the passage, 'tard.

>> No.19840642

>>19833353

I couldnt' even figure out where the mofo got shot. Everybody in the shitty book has the same name. Most overrated waste of time I ever read. We should have an overratd books thread

>> No.19840681

You are reading this for the wrong reason.

If you are reading this to learn what it was like to make love to a messiah--ourmessiah--then you should not read on because you are little more than a voyeur.

If you are reading this because you are a fan of the old poet'sCantosand are obsessed with curiosity about what happened next in the lives of the Hyperion pilgrims, you will be disappointed.I do not know what happened to most of them.They lived and died almost three centuries before I was born.

If you are reading this because you seek more insight into the message from the One Who Teaches, you may also be disappointed.I confess that I was more interested in her as a woman than as a teacher or messiah.

Finally, if you are reading this to discoverherfate or evenmyfate, you are reading the wrong document.Although both our fates seem as certain as anyone's could be, I was not with her when hers was played out, and my own awaits the final act even as I write these words.

If you are reading this at all, I would be amazed.But this would not be the first time that events have amazed me.The past few years have been one improbability after another, each more marvelous and seemingly inevitable than the last.To share these memories is the reason that I am writing.Perhaps the motivation is not even to share--knowing that the document I am creating almost certainly will never be found--but just to put down the series of events so that I can structure them in my own mind.

"How do I know what I think until I see what I say?" wrote some pre-Hegira writer.Precisely.I must see these things in order to know what to think of them.I must see the events turned to ink and the emotions in print to believe that they actually occurred and touched me.If you are reading this for the same reason that I am writing it--to bring some pattern out of the chaos of the last years, to impose some order on the essentially random series of events that have ruled our lives for the past standard decades--then you may be reading this for the right reason, after all.


WHERE TO START? With a death sentence, perhaps.But whose--my death sentence or hers? And if mine, which of mine? There are several from which to choose. Perhaps this final one is appropriate.Begin at the ending.

>> No.19841353

>>19836906
>you should read bakker's wikipedia entry.
>wikipedia entry
I always thought this was a meme until I looked it up. How can such a fag be so pretentious and egotistical?

>> No.19841488

>>19833353
>It's praised to high heaven
That's because third worlders overrate every single decent book they write out of insecurity.

>> No.19841495

>>19840642
>>19841488
filtered

>> No.19841514

>>19834472
you seem like a pseud to me. never read bakker btw

>> No.19841518

>>19840642
Your own lack of intelligence is not the fault of the author

>> No.19841621

>>19841514
Calling out pretentious faggots is now pseud?

>> No.19841636

>>19841495
Haven't read it (probably never will) but latin american literature tends to be very overrated

>> No.19842015

>>19841636
>Haven't read it
Stopped reading. Maybe read it and I'll care about your opinion.

>> No.19842024

Not the opening line, but opening lines:

"Just after Victor lost his job at the BIA, he also found out that his father had died of a heart attack in Phoenix, Arizona. Victor
hadn't seen his father in a few years, only talked to him on the
telephone once or twice, but there still was a genetic pain, which
was soon to be pain as real and immediate as a broken bone."

I had to read this shit in school. Read on for the famous, "Now, Victor" exchange.

>> No.19842069

>>19836906
“Since the late 1990s, he has been attempting to elucidate theories of media bubbles and the intellectual alienation of the working class… He spends his time writing split between his fiction and his ongoing philosophic inquiry.“

Fucking KEK

>> No.19842078

>>19837579
I mean this wouldn’t be abnormal if they were using 24hr military time

>> No.19842307

In Front des schon seit Kurfürst Georg Wilhelm von der Familie von Briest bewohnten Herrenhauses zu Hohen-Cremmen fiel heller Sonnenschein auf die mittagsstille Dorfstraße, während nach der Park- und Gartenseite hin ein rechtwinklig angebauter Seitenflügel einen breiten Schatten erst auf einen weiß und grün quadrierten Fliesengang und dann über diesen hinaus auf ein großes in seiner Mitte mit einer Sonnenuhr und an seinem Rande mit Canna indica und Rhabarberstauden besetztes Rondell warf.

>> No.19842363

>>19840681
>If you are reading this at all, I would be amazed.
too fucking right

>> No.19842385

>>19836546
this is how i genuinely would act in 2016

>> No.19842394

>>19842307
Sorry, I don't speak schnapps.

>> No.19843215

>>19842069
Holy fuck is that shit cringe.

>> No.19843239

>>19833289
Tried twice but couldn’t read it to the end. What book?

>> No.19843268

>>19833287
>It was a dark and stormy night somewhere else.

>> No.19843399
File: 33 KB, 480x480, 1d72eadc435cc14e39b60b98ab2e9268e0a07d48_00.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19843399

>>19843268
a stormy night, indeed (means sex)

>> No.19843579

>>19842307
Look you Germans didn't win WW2 so you'd better speak English or SHUT THE FUCK UP

>> No.19843760

>>19842015
cope

>> No.19843764

>>19842069
Unreal levels of faggotry

>> No.19844073

>>19843268
But this line is such a classic.

>> No.19844822

>>19843760
Not cope, merely telling it how it is. Read the book before giving your opinion.

>> No.19845357

>It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
wtf does that even mean, were the times good or bad?
0/10 start over

>> No.19845392

>>19835557
I thought this was an opening line you were suggesting to be bad and I actually got intrigued enough to google it because a book about a library in shitty downtown L.A. sounds fun, but then I read the reply to your post and realized you were talking about the OP image

>> No.19845399

>>19836337
dude did you even read the book, he's like a main character

>> No.19845408

>>19837519
nobody mentioned trans people, you are obsessed

>> No.19845568

>>19833337
That's pretty based ngl religcuck

>> No.19845579

>>19833872
>hetero-normative

I miss the days when trannies didn't exist

>> No.19845590

>>19834036
It may have been the best day of your life but to me it was just Tuesday

>> No.19845663

>>19845598
You're getting baited.

>> No.19846514

>>19843239
Some mediocre fantasy book that centers around a literal cuck

>> No.19846521

>>19836337
Even worse, from The Fountainhead:
"Howard Roark laughed."

>> No.19846628

>>19844822
Cope

>> No.19846706

>>19837657
Grim

>> No.19846745

>hi

>> No.19846810

>>19833289
Kino

>> No.19846833

>>19846810
>literal gibberish
>Kino
Genre fictions readers need to be purge for reading children’s fiction.

>> No.19846834

>>19846521
Fuck you that line is only a little cringe but it's not the worst

>> No.19846990

>>19836337
that opening line is great imo. it hooks you in to the mystery immediately

>> No.19847012

>In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.

>> No.19847091

"It's not racist if it's ironic," said Nigger Jim.

>> No.19847300

>>19844822
what a pathetic cope

>> No.19847498

>>19841488
Good digits and good opinion

>> No.19847682

>>19839800
So, someone else figured it out?

>> No.19847740

>>19840681
Is this a real excerpt from Endymion? it seems unbelievable desu because of how strong the first 100 pages of Hyperion were

>> No.19847853

>>19847740
Is Hyperion good?

>> No.19848488

>>19837022
it's your time to shine anon

>> No.19848549

>>19838137
This is a nonsense sentence that doesn't actually mean anything

>> No.19849888

>>19833337
Where is this from?

>> No.19850286

>>19846514
>Some mediocre fantasy book that centers around a literal cuck
Ah, so it’s one of those Reddit books written by leftist authors. Why do they always include cuckoldry? I will never understand leftist, but perhaps that’s a good thing.

>> No.19850372

>>19837114
>Gaul by all divided in three parts, of which one the Belgae inhabit, another the Aquitani inhabit, and the third which of those the language is Celtic, the Gauls are named by us.
I think and hope I translate this right

>> No.19850376

>>19850372
Gaul is by all*

>> No.19850672

>>19833353
https://www.elfinanciero.com.mx/after-office/un-siglo-de-soledad/
Yeah that opening sentence sucks

>> No.19851467

>>19850672
>El colombiano Fernando Vallejo, uno de los grandes autores del español, desmenuza Cien años de soledad, el gran referente de la literatura de Gabriel García Márquez, que salió al mercado hace justo 50 años.
it reads alright. What's wrong with it?

>> No.19851471

>>19848549
what? it makes perfect sense. All happy families are getting something right, there is a certain set of rules that dictates whether a family is happy or not, and you will see the similarities when observing them. There are infinitely more ways that a family can go wrong however, so every unhappy family is unique in it's own way (not truly unique, but different to the next unhappy family). The line not only comments on family and marriage, but on the fact that the paths to suffering in the world out numbers the paths to happiness. Don't know how you didn't comprehend anything in the line.

>> No.19851514

>>19851467
It's in Spanish.

>> No.19852723

>>19851514
Yes, and?

>> No.19853033

>>19833289
Fantasy Writing 101: be careful using names which will be difficult for your audience to pronounce.
Sounding genuinely foreign and alien matters very little, while readability matters a LOT.
I'll take a million Pauls and Johns and Edwards before I read about Anasûrimbor Ganrelka II, High King of Kûniüri in his pillow fort of Ishuäl and gaggle of Trysërs.

>> No.19853047

>>19840642
He didn’t get shot. He was staring down the firing squad when he was saved by uhhh I think Jose Arcadio. He died later when the parade came to town and he remembered everything he did in his life.

>> No.19853055

>>19850672
Half his whines are unfounded.
>B-but you used two-name constructions like José Pérez or María García! You are le bad!

>> No.19853062

>>19833353
Legitimately what problem could you have with this opening line? Immediately sucks you into the story via the character, which is the correct way to pull someone in to a story.

>> No.19853302

>>19833287
>Call me Ishmael.
I'm gonna call you needlessly verbose.

>> No.19853315

>>19833289
this intro is what hooked me on the series lol. i love shit that throws you in the deep end

>> No.19853365

>>19853033
>Fantasy Writing 101: be careful using names which will be difficult for your audience to pronounce.
Would explain why that series got dropped by its publisher.

>> No.19853419

>>19833337
I also would like to know where this is from, the internet just pulls up the Bible for me

>> No.19854459
File: 203 KB, 838x983, 1638316389694.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19854459

>>19853365
Legend says he and his fanboys are still melting down about it to this day

>> No.19854778
File: 354 KB, 384x239, 1561486436148.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19854778

>>19854459
top zozzle

>> No.19854797

>The worst part about the Holocaust is the uncertainty.

>> No.19854807

>>19853033
I think if you're writing in English, you should probably just stay away from accents and umlauts.

>> No.19855785

>>19854807
Yeah, but you know how some fantasy writers are, they want to be taken seriously.

>> No.19855832

>>19833872
>Offended tranny literally doesn't understand irony

>> No.19855903

>>19836901
If you ever discover how to leave forever, send a messenger after a couple of years to tell me how. I'm fucking addicted.

>> No.19855959

>>19836906
>>19842069
>In 2008, Bakker published Neuropath,[12] a near future SF psychothriller which thematically continued Bakker's elucidation of human cognitive biases and their implications regarding human meaning, purpose, and morality, whatever form they may take. While the narrative events of the book make for a compelling thought experiment, Bakker included as an Author Afterword a short essay regarding the blending of factual and fictive premises therein and the eventual advent of the narrative's villain in our own world. The essay marks Bakker first formal mention of his Blind Brain Hypothesis, beyond its use in the narrative proper.

>> No.19855969

>>19855959
he definitely wrote this himself

>> No.19856326

>>19847853
No.

>> No.19856347

>>19836906
>>19842069
>>19855959
Good lord, this is just pathetic.

>> No.19856356

>>19833287
To be or not to be? That is the question.

>> No.19856375
File: 283 KB, 600x800, 1643757306501.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19856375

In le hole in le ground lived......LE HOBBIT

>> No.19856379
File: 873 KB, 1916x1064, 989.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19856379

>>19833289

>> No.19856999

>>19856356
That’s a good line. Fuck you.

>> No.19857543

>>19855959
Yeah, I definitely want to read more from this master of subtlety.

>> No.19858563

>>19853419
From some facebook post.

>> No.19859707

>>19847012
The Great Gatsby is an American classic. The fuck you mean.